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dootznbootz · 23 days

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I fully blame the Telegony for starting this. It was the first to break up OdyPen and starting the whole "Odysseus is willingly unfaithful" interpretation

EUGAMMON OF CYRENE, WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU!

He needs to be thankful that history is keeping me from yelling at him. 👀 I would leave a book review that would make him CRY. HOMER would leave a book review that would make him cry. My gosh, I wanna see something silly like a meme of some sort with Homer about to fucking WRECK Eugammon, that's so funny.

like it's just such a mess. not only against his character but there are so many points that go against the Odyssey.

1.) Odysseus' line is supposed to only have one son each time. That's Telemachus. You can't just retcon shit to have your OC exist in canon, Eugammon. At least admit it's an AU (Joking...Kind of. 👀)

2.) Tiresias' prophecy. (even fucking wikipedia mentions this fuck up!)

3.) Ultimate wife guy/family man, whose marriage bed is literally a symbol on how he's rooted like a tree on Ithaca, rooted to his marriage, where he belongs, apparently needs to do fuck all and wander about.

4.) You're telling me, Penelope, Queen of Ithaca, was into this marriage circle bullshit? That she would marry he beloved husband's murderer??

Also with the whole "he had a new wife and was with until she died." HOW OLD WAS ODYSSEUS?! HOW OLD WAS PENELOPE?! Odypen were both probably around mid to late 40s when they reunited (at least that's how I see them lol) FOR ANOTHER WOMAN TO GO THROUGH HER WHOLE LIFE WITH HIM???? ARE THEY 150 YEARS OLD????!

And honestly, I think you're right, if it weren't for that stupid poem, I think people would actually study the Odyssey and look through it like, "huh...You know, he seems pretty scared of these goddesses...And really obsessed with this cool as fuck woman. Neat." BUT NO!!! SOME DINGUS HAD TO WRITE BAD FANFIC THAT FOR SOME REASON PEOPLE ALWAYS BRING UP IN YOUTUBE COMMENTS!

You know what? Yeah. Meme time of Homer wrecking Eugammon.

#this was meant to go before the memes but I'm sleepy. :'D #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #There's a reason why the poem was lost.#penelope #odysseus #odypen #tele-GONE-y #odyssey #anti madeline miller #<-because yeah.#ask #superkooku

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bluejaysandblackbats · 20 days

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Eyes and Ears

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: An AU where Barbara finds Jason instead of Bruce.

Chapters: 11/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Sheila Haywood, Original Character(s)

Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Original Character(s), Past Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Older SIbling Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd-centric, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Jason Todd is NOT Robin, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Has a Crush, Adopted Siblings

Chapter Eleven: Triggers

As the months went on and Jason progressed in therapy, he started to sleep better. During this time, his training sessions with Barbara became more vigorous, and Barbara's faith in him often left her conflicted. She knew he deserved her trust, and she knew he was strong-willed and physically capable. She just wasn't willing to let him risk his life.

As they neared the first anniversary of his coming to live with them, she decided she had to give him a sign that she trusted him. He earned it. Jason did everything that was expected of him. He took every hit and read every book assigned to him with enthusiasm.

"Barbara, that supercomputer thing we're building—."

"Oracle," Barbara explained. Jason nodded as he fiddled with his anti-static bracelet. "And yeah?"

"Well, you said I'm too young to go on patrol with you. What if I stayed behind, and I helped you from behind a screen? What if I was your—?"

"Oracle?" Barbara asked. Jason bounced his head from side to side.

"Well, no. I'm not a girl. There's this guy in Greek mythology, Tiresias—."

"He was technically a woman for seven years," Barbara interrupted a second time, and Jason crossed his arms.

"Okay... Can I please finish?" Jason asked. Barbara covered up a grin and nodded. "He was a seer and could understand birds. I was thinking maybe I could run Oracle's pilot program... Please." Barbara took a deep breath. "Babs, please. You're leaving me. The least you can do is let me help you," Jason pleaded.

Barbara softened and took his bracelet off. "Come here," Barbara teared up as she embraced him, "I was gonna surprise you by letting you run the pilot program, but you didn't have to make me cry. You're the worst, you know that? I was gonna invite you to have dinner there sometimes and everything."

"You can't cook," Jason laughed through his tears as he started to cry as well.

"I was gonna order takeout," she replied as she pulled away and punched him in the shoulder. He laughed and wiped his tears away. "And I'm not leaving you. Dad's probably gonna make you stay the night at my apartment when he works nights which is almost all the time," Barbara explained.

"When are you gonna tell him?" Jason asked. Barbara shrugged.

"Did you hear what I told you?" Barbara asked. Jason blinked hard before embracing Barbara a second time, nearly knocking her over as he thanked her. "Easy," she laughed.

Jim came in the front door and greeted them in Barbara's doorway. "I'm just stopping in to grab my jacket, but it's looking like I'll be in the office late tonight. Saturday night in Gotham. You kids okay?" Jim asked. They both nodded.

Once Jim was gone, Barbara nudged Jason. "Test run tonight after dinner?" Barbara asked. A smile spread across Jason's face. "Also, what are we having for dinner, Bub?"

"We could order a pie?" Jason suggested. Barbara groaned. "What do you wanna eat then?"

"Burger and fries?" Barbara suggested. Jason made a face. "BBQ?"

"BBQ it is," Jason agreed.

They ordered dinner, and Jason lay on his back on her floor. Barbara lay next to him and stared at the ceiling. "How's therapy? I mean, do you like going?" Barbara asked.

"Yeah, I like Alisa... She's nice, and she lets me curse in sessions," Jason replied. Barbara chuckled.

"I'll give you a freebie since Dad isn't here. Give me your best potty mouth," she laughed.

"Fuck no," Jason joked. Barbara let out a screaming laugh. "It's not that funny," Jason covered his smile.

Barbara pinched his cheek. "It's just—. The way you said it," Barbara chuckled. Jason turned on his side towards her.

"I don't want things to change, Babs," Jason mumbled, "I want you to stay here. Just put it off a while longer."

"Jason, I'm not even gonna move that—."

"Please. I know it sounds stupid, but I really don't want you to go. Besides, it's not even set in stone yet. You haven't told Pop or anything," Jason pleaded. Barbara pushed his face aside playfully.

"Don't get all mushy on me, Jason," her voice revealed a hint of sadness. Jason got up and threw a pillow at her angrily, and slammed her door on the way out. "Jason, what did I—?" She opened her door and watched as Jason grabbed his jacket. "Where are you going?"

"Out," Jason grumbled as he shut the door on his way out.

She plopped down on the couch and pushed a hand through her hair. She waited a few hours for Jason to return, and when he didn't, she called Jim. "Dad?" Barbara asked.

"Hey, he's here. He came in an hour ago... What happened?" Jim asked.

Barbara stood up and paced back and forth. "Was he upset?" Barbara asked.

"Yelling and crying... But he tired himself out. What's wrong?" Jim asked. Barbara curled up on the couch and turned the tv on.

"Where else did he go? He's been gone four hours," Barbara thought to herself. "Dad, do you want me to come and get him?"

"No, it's okay. I'd rather know what happened," Jim replied.

Barbara sighed. "I was thinking about moving out. When he asked me to stay, I laughed at him. I didn't know it meant so much to him... But if it does, I won't—."

"You were planning on moving out?" Jim asked.

"Planning. I'm not going to if it's gonna be this big of an issue right now. I can put it off. Besides, it's not like I picked out a place or anything. It was just a thought," Barbara replied.

Jim sucked his teeth over the phone and sighed. "We'll talk about it later... But for now, Jason can sleep here in my office. I'm not mad," Jim whispered.

Once she hung up, she groaned and cursed. She didn't go out that night. All she could do is lie on the couch and wait for Jason and Jim to come home. She drifted off to sleep, only to wake to the sound of the door opening. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Jason, I'm sorry—."

He stormed past her and went straight to his room. She pushed a hand through her hair before getting up and following him. "Jason, let me—."

Jason swung his door open. "What?" Jason asked.

"Jason, I'm not gonna go anywhere. Okay? I love you, and I'm not leaving you. If you want me to stay here a little while longer, I will," Barbara reassured him, "But you have to tell me one thing. Where did you go before you went to Dad's office?"

"Nowhere—."

"Jason, where did you go?" her voice stern as she blocked him from leaving the conversation. Jason tried to shut the door in her face. "No. You were gone for four hours. What did you do for the other three?"

"None of your business," Jason whispered through clenched teeth. Barbara gestured for them to talk in his room, and she closed the door behind her.

"Jason, I get that whatever I did made you angry, but I have to know where you went—."

"I was with Bruce Wayne," Jason answered.

"Funny. Now, where were you?" Barbara asked. Jason rolled his eyes and plopped down on his bed.

"I was with Bruce Wayne, Barbara," Jason answered, "Bruce."

"Why were you with Bruce Wayne?" she asked, a little confused.

"I was at the cemetery with Bruce Wayne," Jason elaborated. He cocked his head and looked at her.

"I don't—." Jason lay back on his bed and pulled his pillow over his face. "Jason."

"Get out of my room," Jason replied.

"Wh—? I don't—."

"You and me, we're a team, right? You stood there, and you lied to my face despite knowing that I know now... It's one thing not to tell me, but it's another thing to lie to my face," Jason whispered. His face reddened as he spoke, and he took a deep breath. "You're no better than everyone else that's ever hurt me. You can have a secret. You can have tons of secrets. I don't care about any of it, but you just lied. What else do you lie about, Barbara?" Jason asked.

"Jason, I'm s—."

"Get out of my room," Jason mumbled. Barbara nodded and left the room.

Barbara slammed his door on her way out, and Jim poured himself a cup of coffee. "Well, did you apologize?" Jim asked.

"No, he didn't let me say anything," Barbara replied angrily.

"Give him his space for right now—."

"You're taking his side?" Barbara asked.

"No, I'm just saying that he's working through a lot, and if he's too mad to talk, we can't make him," Jim answered.

"But I bet he's talking to you," Barbara replied. Jim shrugged.

"He's not mad at me," Jim sipped his coffee. Barbara glared at him.

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overtrolled-liveblog · 4 years

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1657

TG: dont talk to john anymore hes an impressionable doofus TG: your plan didnt work TG: i mean it did TG: but then suddenly it didnt TG: so you might as well quit trying ... TG: no more hijinks from you cause ill make sure they wont work GC: W3LL OBV1OUSLY 1 KN3W 1T W4SNT GO1NG TO WORK GC: MY FR13NDS H4V3 B33N T4LK1NG TO JOHN FROM TH3 FUTUR3 GC: YOUR FUTUR3 GC: WH3R3 H3S NOT D34D GC: SO TH3R3 W4S NO W4Y WH4T 1 D1D W4S GO1NG TO K1LL H1M GC: 1 JUST W4NT3D TO M3SS W1TH H1M 4ND STUFF TG: i dont think youre following TG: you DID kill him sort of TG: then i went back in time to stop him GC: Y34H 1 G3USS3D TH3R3 W4S 4 CH4NC3 SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T M1GHT H4PP3N ... GC: NOT 4LL OF US 4R3 TH4T 3NTHUS1AST1C 4BOUT TROLL1NG YOU GUYS GC: 4ND TH3 ON3S WHO 4R3 SORT OF SUCK 4T 1T >:| TG: well at least you got john to off himself so i guess youre not totally incompetent like the others TG: like that awful rapper GC: SO JOHN 4CTU4LLY D1D WH4T 1 S41D? TG: yeah TG: im telling you TG: huge pushover TG: he will do what you say TG: unless it happens to be for his own good TG: then all a sudden hes a tough nut to crack go figure GC: NOW 1 F33L K1ND4 B4D GC: 4R3 YOU SUR3 1 C4NT T4LK TO H1M GC: 3V3N 1F 1TS JUST TO 4POLOG1Z3 GC: WOULD TH4T B3 OK W1TH YOU S1R BR4V3 KN1GHT >:? TG: yeah thats fine i guess TG: no more coy bullshit antics though TG: not even like TG: an idiotic angry winking emote GC: OR WH4T GC: YOUR3 GO1NG TO HUNT M3 DOWN THROUGH T1M3 OOOOOH OH NO GC: >;] TG: yeah ... GC: H3Y D4V3 TG: what GC: 1V3 B33N R3S34RCH1NG SOM3 OF YOUR 34RTH SO4P OP3R4S GC: 1S TH1S YOU TG: oh jegus fuck no ... C: OK 1 M4D3 SOM3 MOD1F1C4T1ONS GC: TH1S 1S SO YOU D4V3 COM3 ON 4DM1T 1T TG: ahahahahaha TG: ok yeah that is pretty much fucking spot on TG: youre actually a pretty good troll TG: as long as you dont bug john i guess thats all there is to say on the matter GC: TH4NKS D4V3 GC: TO B3 F41R GC: 1M SUR3 3V3RY ON3 OF US W1SH3S W3 THOUGHT OF FUTUR3 S3LF PROTOTYP1NG F1RST GC: SO GC: YOUR3 NOT R34LLY 4LL TH4T T3RR1BL3 >;]

This conversation kind of fascinates me. Davesprite and Terezi are basically fighting over John, which is kind of funny by itself. It’s also clear to me on this reading that Terezi is probing here; that is, she’s trying a few different avenues to ingratiate herself with Davesprite, finding out what sort of conversational gambits (photo edits, “grudging” compliments, frankness used to defray tension) he responds to. Terezi later applies these strategies to her interactions with main timeline Dave, while not using the ones which didn’t work so well (the ‘you smell like creamsicle’ type distraction).

We also see what is probably an instance of genuine discomfort on Terezi’s part. She “knew” from the timeline that John lives, so she messed with him in a way that could have killed him because she was sure it would not actually kill him. This is sort of similar to one of those Greek tragedies (some of which involve Tiresias, the blind seer) where actions based on a flawed understanding of a piece of foreknowledge end in tragedy.

#ACT 4 #long post #homestuck liveblog

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knightrepentant · 7 years

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No Rest at Journey’s End pt.1

Colonial ID: PHAROS-AD66 Matthew Lowry

Date: 05-08-2294

[RECORDING]

“Does this fucking thing still work? Hello? Okay, red light, okay we’re good. My name is Matt Lowry, I...I was assigned to the colony ship Telemachus as a xenobotanist, to be p-part of their colonial recon teams. You probably already know most of what I’m about to say, this...this is mostly for posterity’s sake. W-we entered the system designated ‘Areyah-Sura’ in 2289, all fifteen ships accounted for. Seven planets, one in the Goldilocks zone. Surface gravity is about 0.85 G, temperature is good, pressure is good, atmosphere is about 29-30% oxygen. We called it Ithaca. Y’know, from the legend?

I wasn’t woken up until we were almost in geosync, just inside the orbit of the closest moon. I remember there was so much light, w-we had the suns at our backs and...it was just the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen! I mean, they showed you in school the pictures of Earth, all blue and green and perfect. This was like, the 2020′s or something, when you could actually breathe the f-fucking air. That week after we made orbit was just, well it was the strangest kind of chaos, everyone was super-hungover from cryo, stressed the fuck out, doing drill after drill and bored as all hell! Nothing got done because we were all plastered against the windows. Eventually the guys in Telemetry g-gave us the go-ahead for a surface expedition, god that was the best news I’d ever gotten. Six of us piled into a lander, destination was a large island continent in the southern hemisphere. And I want it put down that I was the only one who didn’t puke when we went through the atmosphere, that’s...”

[violent coughing]

“Fuck. Anyway, the lander put us down on this wide sweeping hill near the sea. I felt the pressure change through my suit when they unsealed the door, tried to imagine what fresh air smelled like. God it was so bright when I stepped out. When you spend your whole life in a fucking bunker, real light kinda stings for a bit. I remember the grass was...weird, real pale green with these little white tufts, probably for airborne dispersal. I took some samples while our suits tried to find out if breathing the air would kill us. Eventually my suit display told me the atmosphere was non-toxic, didn’t contain any allergens, so the team leader gave the word. That first breath...god. Your whole life spent breathing the same roomful of air over and over, and then you get the air of a living world rushing into you? 30% oxygen too, so...”

[hacking cough]

“So...”

[coughing and spitting]

“God I hope that’s just blood. So yeah, there we were. Standing on a hill, an alien hill, looking down towards an alien beach with an alien sea. My feet were being held to the ground by real gravity, I was so...overwhelmed I couldn’t even cry. I think we spent ten minutes just staring like idiots, trying to f-f-figure out if it was even real. We wandered down towards the surf, looking out at these...huge towers of coral, or whatever the equivalent was here.”

“That...that’s when the call came down from Telemachus. We’d lost Tiresias. Team leader asked what had happened. Was it a meteor shower? Malfunction? Fucking aliens? Apparently lost was meant in the literal sense. Tiresias wasn’t destroyed, it was gone. On the scopes one minute, then nothing. No-one on the other fourteen ships saw a thing. A thousand people just erased from existence. All colonisation efforts were put on hold for two weeks, but nothing was found. Five years on and we still don’t know where they went. At least they went in their sleep, that’s all I can say. But we couldn’t delay further, the question of habitability was still up in the air. Our initial landing spot was ideal for the first settlement, my job was to make sure none of the local flora were gonna spray caustic pollen in our faces, or stick us with venomous barbs. Every colonisation effort in history...it’s always the plants that ruin your day first.

The g-good news was that these guys used photosynthesis just like ours. Soil composition was a little heavier on the nitrogen but I couldn’t find anything that would prevent Earth-based flora from growing here, except maybe for some of the pickier species. I started at the treeline, had Giordano as my escort. Very chatty. Very. God I came so close to putting my helmet back on and ripping out the comm unit. If you ever try to take samples from a shrub that waves these clingy tendrils back and forth, while a bored Italian is yammering endlessly into your ear, you’ll understand my pain. Over three weeks of scouting later and I’d identified a half-dozen trees just in this couple of square kilometres that bore fruit. We did all kinds of tests on them, obviously. One turned out to cause the worst stomach cramps a human has ever experienced, two others gave Giordano and Kuaiji terrible allergic reactions. Non-fatal, though Giordano’s throat closed up so hey, not all bad.” Two weeks later, the xenozoologist, xenogeologist, xenometeorologist and I pooled our findings, and declared Site 1 fit for human habitation. By rights the head xenopathologist should’ve been there too but...they were onboard Tiresias. Funny thing, that. Biggest fucking joke...”

[FEED INTERRUPTED]

#greylander #ithaca #tiresias codex #colonization

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