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#i think she wouldve done it anyway at that point
aching-vellichor · 3 days
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im sorry (not sorry) but i love rhaenyra as a character sm.
she’s been saved at so many turning points in her life by love. love saved her from being disinherited, love saved her from being immediately executed/imprisoned at beginning of the dance.
and its also her undoing: her love for her children, and her love for alicent, even her love for daemon.
and she’s so bright and vivacious. she finds humor in almost everything, even genuinely shitty situations. she purposefully takes up space and doesnt give a shit abt other peoples opinions on it. shes also so energetic and rebellious and so so loving and thoughtful.
its understandable how luke and jace kind of view their mother as this perfect infallible being up until her usurpation (on jaces part) because she genuinely is almost a beautiful, kind, and vivacious woman.
she’s impulsive— yes. and she makes decisions without thinking of others, but above all else she values her children’s lives. i think if rhaenyra had become queen, she wouldve done what dany does in asoiaf, where she refers to her subjects as her children— as people she’s obligated to protect and serve.
and we only really see rhaenyra’s flaws when she’s a child. as an adult, we see her at her best self. all of her children have been born, and she’s placed their lives in her own hands and she realizes the value and responsibility that forces her to bear. and that also matures her understanding of the throne. and she realizes the faults in her younger self’s thought process. atp she’s realized that life is sm more complicated then “when i become queen i’ll change that.”
anyway this wasnt organized at all but i love her sm. ill probably write a twt thread or smth that’s a little more organized, and also has scenes from the show as proof.
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toastsnaffler · 5 days
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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🗡️👨🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 🦌🫀
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so. john has finally seen mizumono & now receives msgs like this when even mildly prompted
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malewifesband · 2 months
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as big as the friend confession scene is i love this part best. laios is ofc still under the impression that kabru likes monster food and went thru this big effort to make something special for him and then kabru goes out of his way to be so warm and sweet, and frankly a bit flirtatious like i know he thinks that exit killed it
and hes kinda right bc laios cannot stop staring after him when he leaves and i cannot attribute all that to him being confused about what kabru meant by "dont forget me next time". like laios means it if he says something like "meeting you was the best part of this" those are not empty words even if hes under a false impression about kabru--i dont think its just that kabru shared his interest that has his attention either. i think its bc kabru really engaged with him. i dont think his opinion wouldve changed much if kabru said "nahhhh im good i wont eat a monster cool for you tho have fun" instead of saying he would try it
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(and he really is trying the 'laugh at anything he says so he'll feel special' strat here huh.....)
and kabru despite being a stranger he helped get thru to shuro about falins resurrection
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and he does it with a sensitivity and care that laios wishes he was capable of and he know it limits him as a leader
the thought laios keeps having about kabru isnt "wow he loves monsters too!" its "wow he is sooooo nice :3" which he is! at this stage he likes kabru bc he feels heard by him and kabru has qualities he knows he lacks but admires greatly and didnt make fun of him or call him weird for his interest in monsters
the way kabru acts and thinks about laios at this point feels allegorical to how people feel in new relationships. can i trust you? are you who you seem? if i tell you how ive been hurt, will you use this to hurt me or to protect me? i dont know yet, but i like you so far, so im going to show you the self that i think you'll like best. i want to impress you. i want you to trust me so maybe i can trust you
so much of dungeon meshi is about the way that we accidentally hurt our loved ones because we cant always understand them, or we dont know whats best for them when theyve been hurt in such complex ways, or because were too scared of being hurt again to tell them not to press into the bruise (see: chimera falin, falin giving up parts of her life to suit/protect marcille and laios bc she loves them, laios driving marcille deeper into the winged lions grip TWICE with his advice in the nightmares and again with the dungeon rabbits, everything chilchuck has ever done in his whole life, laios' father's everything also, and this is a labru post so ofc kabru lying about wanting to eat monsters to impress laios) i wouldnt be surprised if the allegory was intentional
anyways this part of their relationship budding into a toxic little flower theyll have to prune later is very cute to me and i really like reading it again knowing how they turn their relationship around later into one built on a mutual understanding and trust
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weirdmageddon · 9 months
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yesterday i wrote a scene where jade wasnt a plot device and was left the hell alone in A6A5 because this being dave and jade’s last proper conversation in years made me sad and i wanted to see them reunite properly. i mixed a bit of narration in too even though it was rare around this point in the comic but its just to paint a better picture. also i wouldnt mind feedback on character voice (it’s important to me that the dialogue sounds believable)
[3 years are over, everyone is in the new session. The prospit ship is on LOMAX, as is everyone who arrived on the meteor, safely warped by Jade onto LOMAX as well. Jade has banished B2 Jack to the Furthest Ring already. She hasn't seen her friends in 3 years, not to mention she never met the trolls in person yet.]
[Jade teleports to LOMAX where John was talking with the meteor crew. Her eyes widen when she sees the trolls, giving everyone a greeting. Jade waves to the trolls.]
You’ll have time to catch up with them later. First you want to reconvene with Rose and Dave.
> ==>
Dave... Oh my god! DAVE!!! That’s right! The last time you saw him, he died in your arms after Jack redirected the bullets from your gun into his body!
JADE: dave!!!! DAVE: hey DAVE: this has been three years coming hasnt it DAVE: cmere
> ==>
[Dave hugs Jade with a slight grin on face. He notices her… sniffing him?? but doesn’t even bother to question it.]
JADE: it is so nice to hold your body when its not a corpse :) DAVE: ok DAVE: weird thing to say DAVE: actually who am i kidding who gives a shit DAVE: i almost forgot how much i missed the enigmatic riddlefuckery that is your phrasing DAVE: fortunately i have context for this so i know what youre saying DAVE: humor me for a sec and imagine that i didnt DAVE: but first DAVE: are those dog ears JADE: yes! i am part dog now JADE: because i prototyped my dreamself with becsprite JADE: jadesprite became part of me! and so did her doggy traits from bec DAVE: got it DAVE: oh yeah john mentioned that on the back of his dumb poster inside that bucket that appeared out of thin air DAVE: right before we had to haul ass out of there before jack caught up to us DAVE: karkat had a complete fucking meltdown over that btw i wish you couldve seen it DAVE: damn it feels like so long ago now JADE: heheheh i remember JADE: john realized it at the last second but it was too late! DAVE: of course it was johns idea only he could do something that gooberish DAVE: you know what this means though JADE: yup!! woof woof DAVE: it means youve done it harley DAVE: youve finally done it god damn it DAVE: the evolution of humankind is finally upon us DAVE: the scientists said it would never happen in our lifetime DAVE: but look what we have here DAVE: before me stands mans first legitimate furry subspecies DAVE: homo canis DAVE: as the name implies theyre gay as fuck btw DAVE: its too bad all those scientists are dead and cant witness this phylogenetic breakthrough DAVE: rip to the science community yall wouldve lost your collective shit DAVE: hey jade lets pour one out for the science community for being real ones
> ==>
You are still nestled into Dave’s shoulder. He’s taken a sort of protective position over you. Your perceptive barkbeast ears can hear his formerly bullet-riddled heart beating a mile a minute with the regularity of quartz beneath his time-branded pajamas, all the while he continues to ramble to you about certifiably dumb shit. You can tell Dave is psyched to see you again, even if he expresses it in his OWN bizarre way, which means extended metaphors and topical tangents. What a hypocrite, calling YOUR phrasing perplexing! You sure missed this guy.
You realize you started tuning him out while thinking about all this.
DAVE: jade JADE: umm homo is the species name JADE: so wouldnt that mean were all gay? :p DAVE: yeah that sounds about right DAVE: anyway enough of this bullshit
> ==>
[Dave motions to retract his arms since he doesn’t want it to get too weird, but Jade squeezes tighter. Dave immediately yields to the movement]
DAVE: jesus wow ok DAVE: really happy to see you too DAVE: like if you had a tail it would be wagging so forcefully youd be knocking over all the fucking furnishings in the room DAVE: just slapping it so hard on the owners thigh that it feels like theyre being flogged DAVE: talk about getting bitch slapped JADE: :D DAVE: so howve you been JADE: really really excited to see you guys all again!!! JADE: and to meet the trolls! DAVE: yeah theyre pretty weird DAVE: and im still not used to it DAVE: but it gets more manageable the longer youre around them DAVE: by the way JADE: ?
> ==>
DAVE: sorry you had to go through that JADE: through what? DAVE: seeing me die and stuff again DAVE: except that time right in front of you JADE: .... DAVE: when we were gathering up all those frogs i knew jack was going to appear DAVE: i was waiting and waiting to play it out DAVE: mentally rehearsing my fucking torso getting turned into swiss cheese and knowing you would have to watch on top of it DAVE: i had to make sure it happened to protect the integrity of the alpha timeline DAVE: but if you knew this was going to happen you wouldve tried to prevent it and created a doomed one DAVE: and so i didnt say anything DAVE: i couldnt DAVE: so DAVE: sorry for putting you through that JADE: oh..... JADE: dave D: JADE: well im here JADE: if you ever want to talk about it DAVE: its cool DAVE: you just deserve to know what happened there DAVE: but thanks DAVE: so am i JADE: yeah i know JADE: i guess i should be glad you did that then... JADE: even though i was freaking out when it happened ._. JADE: otherwise you wouldnt be here will us now dressed in your red god tier time pajamas DAVE: yeah these magical rags really are comfortable arent they DAVE: and they stay like perma clean JADE: they are! i would wear mine over and over for days on end JADE: id take a nice shower and put it right back on JADE: and you know how much i love cycling my outfits through my wardrobifier JADE: by the way dave your cape is sooo cool! :o DAVE: thanks DAVE: yeah i love it its hella soft DAVE: its like ive got a portable snuggle blanket with me in case i ever need to drop to the floor like a tired sack of shit and get my snooze on DAVE: ive got a permanent personal reservation at club bed featuring dj pillow and mc blanky JADE: heheheh JADE: can i touch your cape? DAVE: of course go nuts JADE: yaaaay!!
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dnfnoodles · 22 days
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i know this conversation was already had yesterday but thinking about it, i just dont know what else dteam couldve possibly done in that situation. george apologizes to caiti but floats the idea that her friends influenced her(hes probably right) and twitter freaks out, dream talks about non-verbal consent, a real thing that very much applied here, and twitter freaks out. anyone who pointed out inconsistencies was called a victim blamer and ccs themselves did this. if george tried to point out that caitis story didnt line up in certain parts he wouldve been fucking mauled by twitter. like yeah maybe if he did that it wouldve been worse at first but gotten better eventually but idk i feel like unless someone else spoke up in defense of him ccs and twitter alike wouldve hounded him until he quit.
and i do hate ccs who succumb to twitter pressure but this was a really tough situation and i dont know how they couldve gotten out in a better position than they are now. i feel like they did the best they could even if it wasnt perfect and some parts did make the situation a little worse. george apologizing for what he actually did while reaffirming that he hadnt done it maliciously was the right move imo. also it just shows that hes a kind person at heart because he did understand that even if caiti wasnt truthful she was hurt by him regardless of his intentions or others influence.
idk anyways i hate every single cc who jumped in to attack george for clout or to makes themselves seem like a good person and they made the situation a million times worse. if none of them had opened their mouths i really think things couldve gone differently.
⬆️
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wraithinkorporated · 3 months
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Just got done grinding to finish Side Order with the Final Pallette, and as I lost my second to last run to Asynchronous Rondo, Marina said something that I found interesting.
A smarter person wouldve screenshot it so I could put it here, but I didnt plan on making a post about this until I started really thinking about it. She said something along the lines of "The spotlight reminds me of the lights during concerts."
I found this interesting because I thought it was odd that Marina would associate her pride and joy, making and performing music, to the Spinning Horror Prison.
And then I started picking at another thing that I found odd about Asynchronous Rondo: the wretched noises it makes even before you approach it. Many have pointed out that it's """singing""" Ebb and Flow, which is a very interesting and cool detail, but Why? Why is it the only boss (I believe, since I haven't seen mention or noticed this from the other bosses) that is echoing one of Off the Hook's songs -- and not only just one of their songs, but the prolific Ebb and Flow? Sure, there are motifs of their songs throughout Side Order, but none of the other bosses are actively singing them.
The conclusion I came to is that Asynchronous Rondo could be a twisted interpretation of Marina's worst thoughts about being an idol -- as she said herself, the bright light being pointed at her. The panopticon represents that at any given moment, she could be being watched. The sudden carnival motif that plays in the song -- she's on a stage, putting on a performance at any given moment. The many faces spouting a distorted version of Ebb and Flow, the nebulous fans voices muddling together into one cacophonous symphony of her own making.
Anyway Im very unwell about this. And to be clear, I dont think these are Marina's active thoughts about being an idol. It was revealed that Order/Smollusk was made from the intrinsic desires of its creators, so this is likely just another implication of that.
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mantarobin · 2 months
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cliff hc that just kept on going
so. This started as a headcanon that cliff is good at styling hair. And it kept going. So here we go
so. yes cliff is good at styling hair; I think he'd often do it for light and louis. whether it's to make them look fancier, or just to mess around. I think light would tell him he could style his hair one day and cliff would get super excited and light gets stuck there for like an hour cuz cliff won't stop
bonus points he'd do this to Brooke too. now. Now.
I once saw someone have the hc of Brooke and Cliff having/wanting a family before she kicked the bucket;; i dont think theyd HAVE a family but i think the idea of them wanting a family is cute, maybe cliff wouldve practiced more just for that.
now. adding onto a hc of mine w this
light is transfem! (I go back and forth w this hc so I don't usually say she) so I imagine when theyd tell cliff that hed do her hair ALL THE TIME!! wanting em to look pretty and all :))
okay and quick angst bit. bcuz I'm silly . S2 finale spoilers
light remembers, vaguely, how cliff did their hair. so when they wake up and find Cliff's and Louis's bodies after the soulscite, they make little braids in their hair. They're half-done and stained w blood, but it's okay. Light wants them to look pretty when they wake up
(because he can't stand being alone. because she needs them to wake up. because they're terrified and alone in the universe now)
anyways. Yeah cliff could make some banger hairstyles let him cook
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sunny12th · 1 month
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2, 6, 8, 15 for dany!!!
Under the cut <3 ty for asking
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
Dany is never what anyone expects her to be, narratively and from a meta standpoint. We don't expect a female character, far removed from the main point of magic in the story, to find her own magic and be a destined hero. We don't expect a child rape victim to have a lusty, consensual, and fun romance with a side character. She was not expected to survive khal drogo or the red waste. She was not expected to pivot at every turn and find a third way. And we didn't expect the very real consequences to come from her actions in slavers bay. No one expected the wide spread consequences across Essos from her actions - a slave revolution brewing. No one thought we'd get to see what might happen when a revolutionary character actually commits to the revolution and then has to handle the fallout. That feels so rare to me. She exists so far removed from what the average fantasy reader, or reader in general, would expect to find in a book and I think the fandom takes this for granted sometimes.
6. What's something you have in common with this character?
Not going into detail but- isolated childhoods with not very good siblings, messy family history, and a whole heaping of desperation. Looking back, it's pretty blatant why I latched onto Dany when I first read agot back when I was like 14/15. Projection and cathartic healing babeyyyy 🔛🔝
8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?
In another ask, I said that I hate when the fandom uses Dany's family/ancestry as evidence for her impending madness. Along with that, I also really dislike the notion that Dany should have not acted at all to free the Unsullied and other slaves because she didn't have a clear enough plan to handle the fallout. This idea that, because she couldn't do this Perfectly she should not have done it at all. For obvious reasons lmao. One reason I like Dany is that doing nothing goes against her character and usually leads to negative consequences for her, as in Meereen.
15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
I'm not overly invested in any of Dany's ships tbh. That being said, my fave is Dany/Jhogo. I am probably one of 3 people that like them. grrm is an excellent writer when he cares to be one but he didn't care for the Dothraki. Why are none of the bloodriders allowed any interiority or ... personalities. Or anything that might let them feel like distinct characters that warrant the level of proximity and relevance they have to Dany. 'blood of my blood' - was this supposed to mean something? Because it couldve meant a lot! especially to a character like Dany, with no blood relations and desperate for family. Besides Jorah, the bloodriders and her dothraki handmaids are the characters she spends the most time with since book one.
Anyways, Jhogo has a bit more personality than the other bloodriders, he's 'of an age' with Dany (all the bloodriders are around the same age), and it just has so much potential. The royal guard/royalty trope but outside the culture we usually see this is. And!!! They've seen each other literally at their lowest. They survived the red waste together, sacked cities together. Jhogo is held hostage for her right now, along with Daario. I can't pull up the quote right now but Barristan remarks that Jhogo is indispensable to Dany, or smth like that, in his POV chapter. They grew up together, learned how to be strong together. If grrm had cared, they couldve been a top tier romance. It wouldn't have felt rushed or like they were pulled together through fate. Could've just been two lost kids growing into love. But this wouldve required grrm putting effort into the Dothraki characters and he's made it abundantly clear that he doesn't feel the need to do this.
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blackjackkent · 2 months
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what do you think wouldve happened in an alternate universe where hector let karlach become a mind flayer?
(A/N after writing this whole answer: whoops, this got out of hand, hope you're okay with an Unexpected Fic. XD Also maybe a smidge weird/dark at the end, although not a ton I hope? Certainly no more than the whole game is weird/dark. XD Anyway I hope you enjoy. <3 )
Ohhhhhhhhh.
Anon, I love you for asking me this question. <3 A very intriguing one!
And it is because I love you for asking me this question that I have braved looking up a video of Karlach actually becoming a mind flayer, which I had put off doing because I am a softheart and I knew it would hurt and also make Hector yell in my head. XD And when Hector yells in my head it's a whole thing because he does double Flurry of Blows against the inside of my skull for 140damage and it's rough enough in there already.
However! I have now watched it and done some thinks. (Hot damn, Lae'zel is MAD too, at least in the version of the scene I watched. The whole thing is very upsetting.)
Fundamentally it would be a tragedy, and not just for Karlach. Watching the way the scenes play out - there is just enough of Karlach in her speech that Hector would not want to disconnect from her. I think perhaps it touches on the same hope that kept him expecting a miracle for her heart right up until the end of the game - somehow, somehow we can make this work, somehow we will find a way...
But there is no way. This is who she is now, a creature of the Astral Sea with his love's voice and an empty place where her soul should be. And unlike the engine situation he can't even kiss her to make himself feel better because she looks like a squid.
-----
The one saving grace is, I suppose, she does seem happy enough. In the epilogue, she states that she has found a way to get brains to eat by consuming from terminally ill patients at a clinic in Baldur's Gate, people who have volunteered for the process because they are about to die anyway. And she talks about helping all of them live on by absorbing their memories and carrying them with her.
It's... sweet, in a way, Hector supposes.
He tries to keep busy. There's no battle in Avernus to occupy him in this timeline, so he primarily works with Jaheira and her kids on rebuilding. It's hard, physical work; it keeps his mind occupied. At first he sleeps at the Elfsong; later, after some nudging from Rion, Jaheira offers him lodging at her home, where he takes a hand in raising the latest crop of orphan children she is protecting. He sees Baldur's Gate start to bandage its wounds and begins to believe there was some purpose to all his struggle.
But his own wounds do not heal so easily.
He visits the clinic often. He and Karlach talk. Her voice is a slow near-monotone in her accent, unlike anything he ever heard from her before. Sometimes he can hear a twinge of her humor or a turn or phrase, and his heart leaps... but other times she speaks of things like destiny and infinite time in a way that reminds him more of the Emperor than the woman he loves.
She never laughs. She doesn't curse. There is never even the slightest mention of sex; though she still fully understands a double entendre when he makes one experimentally, she seems to take no interest in it. She seems to exist slightly beyond him, with a view of the world that is no longer of the Material Plane.
And yet... she does know him. She remembers everything - stories he told her of his childhood in the monastery, details of Selunite rituals she learned from him, quiet moments in camp he half-forgot himself. She still calls him Soldier, and sometimes Hec. She remembers her own parents; she remembers the city. There is just enough of her still in there... just enough for it to squeeze his heart.
----
One day she walks (well, floats) with him to the Singing Lute; she sits with him while he eats. They talk about the rebuilding; he points out from the balcony some of the new homes he has worked on. She is quiet for a long time. "It is good to see the place begin to live again," she says, in that strange cool slow voice that has replaced the old jocular drawl. "It's what it was all for."
He nods. "Do you regret it? Any of it?" Do you remember what we had? What we've lost?
"How could I, Soldier? The city still lives. You still live." A long pause. The old Karlach might have laughed sardonically, but there is no humor. "Even I still live, and I have grown beyond myself. What is there to regret?"
It sits like a rock in his stomach. If she is content, what more can he ask for? And yet it hurts... it hurts...
-----
Jaheira notices that he begins to withdraw back into himself, that he is quieter and more serious. She mentions it to Gale, on one of his visits to the city from Waterdeep.
"You're not wrong there," Gale agrees. "You weren't around yet, when we knew him fresh off the nautiloid. He was much more careful, then. Very controlled. The very picture of monastic stoicism - in between the panicked realization that we were all undergoing a supreme nightmare that never ended, of course. He lightened up, over the months - certainly by the time you knew him."
Jaheira purses her lips. "And this... he is returning to his old ways, you believe?"
"I don't think it would be unreasonable to assume," Gale says, with a sort of bleak humor, "that Karlach is no longer providing the same amount of compensatory levity that she used to."
-----
In the end, almost two years later, Lae'zel is the only one who speaks to him of it directly, and she is brutal - but effective.
"You have been hollowed out, she'lak," she says bluntly, on one of her rare visits from the Astral Plane. "It is a lessening of you. Do you still trail after your ghaik as if bound to her by a lead?"
"I have done much in the city since you left," Hector says, somewhat defensively.
"Chk. I do not speak of your body's business, k'chakhi. I speak of your mind. Your heart. You have lost yourself. You live only for others."
"As I was raised to do. As I have always done."
"Hector." She rarely speaks his name directly, but she does now, and it makes him jump. "You know of what I speak, and I will not have you ignore it. Your work in the city is admirable. You have cause for pride and contentment. Yet you pine after Karlach as if you hope to find her in the shell wearing her voice."
"She's still in there, Lae'zel."
"You mislead yourself," she spits. "Was it not you who taught me the strength to look beyond mindless devotion?"
That stings, and unconsciously he stands up a little straighter. "This is not mindless. It has been earned," he objects.
"Tas'ki. She is ghaik," Lae'zel says flatly. "What remains of her will dwindle, day by day. You know this as well as I." A pause. Then her eyes soften, and her voice with it. "You do not honor her sacrifice by this emptiness, Hector. Nor do you honor yourself."
He says nothing. His lips draw into a tight line. He hears her, and he does not want to.
"Think on what I tell you," she says - for all the world, now, as if she is the wise mentor and he the student in need of guidance. "You are no fool. You know I speak truth. Do not discount it."
-----
It takes a long time, but he does eventually start to come back to himself. Ten years. Twenty years. He grows old, though he loses none of his strength, his training too ingrained to allow him to weaken with age. The city reforms, stronger than ever, and he slowly begins to learn what life is, outside of both monastery and war.
He teaches self-defense to the children Jaheira rescues and others in the Lower City. He learns to (very badly) play a lute at Alfira's school. He tries his hand as a woodworker after so much carpentry work in the rebuilding of the Gate; one day, with some pride, he gifts Halsin a raggedly carved owl in return for the duck. He travels with Shadowheart several times to the House of the Moon in Waterdeep, reaffirming his faith in the light that has guided him through so much darkness.
And he reads voraciously. Everything he can get his hands on, from every library in the city. There is far more knowledge in the world, he comes to learn, than the particular cache with which he grew up.
He visits Karlach less, over time. And Lae'zel was right - there is less and less left of her each time he sees her. She is drifting away from him. And slowly he comes to terms with that - that what they had was a wonderful thing and a fleeting thing that will never come back to him. He learns to live for them both, for the life she would have had with him, had there been time.
He does not love again, though. He lived his whole life devoid of romance before he knew her, and he has little interest in trying to find it again in the years that remain to him.
For the most part, he moves on, and eventually finds himself relatively happy. But there is one last concession to sentimentality and to everything he has lost.
-----
On one bright, cold afternoon in mid-autumn, many years after the Netherbrain has faded into a bleak memory, he goes to the clinic. She is there, much as she always is; she has not seemed to age much in all these years, though the tentacles are slightly longer, a bit more nuanced in their movement.
He, though, is old; the grey dappling in his hair and beard has faded to white. His body acts as strong as ever, but time is implacable; he knows, as she once did, that he has very little left. It is a strange thing - a weakness of spirit rather than flesh, old age's deeper destruction that even the most disciplined monk cannot stave off forever. He is not dying, but he would be dead soon, likely within a few tendays.
"Hector," she says, flat and cool and almost unrecognizable, and inclines her head at him slightly. "You have settled everything?"
"Everything," he says quietly.
"You are still certain it is time?"
"Yes."
"Then we will begin." She gestures him to a secluded corner of the clinic, with a comfortable chair set up for the purpose. He settles himself there and looks up at the clinic's cracked stone ceiling and waits.
"It has been a good life," he comments, as much to himself as to her, as he waits for her to approach. "Lae'zel was right, that I had to move on. I have done much, seen much. I am proud of what we achieved - all of us."
There's a long, expectant silence. Then he leans his head back, closes his eyes. "I never stopped loving you, you know," he adds softly.
"I know," she answers, and her jaws sink into his skull.
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kiwibongos · 1 month
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im back thinking again. regarding my last post with how i interpreted ibuki and fuyuhiko's friendship im heavily thinking abt him and hiyoko. hiyoko more specifically tbh. its hiyoko appreciation time. will contain spoilers
imo she should have lived. also tbh kazuichi shouldve died, not her. thats a whole other sauce tho (again) but like. i feel like hiyoko deserved to survive way more, in general. her potential was really there man
i used to hate hiyoko, i still kind of dislike her in a certain way but its because all of that points blame to the writers of sdr2, for the god awful pacing they thought was good, and how they just didn't really bother to show a lot of growth from her before her time was wrapped up? i enjoy how she was the mean character bc there's always gotta be That One Bitch, but i really would've loved for her to survive, for her to heal and live on for mahiru and even to grow close with fuyuhiko, ibuki, hajime and sonia, and she would perhaps even express sadness towards ibuki and mikan's deaths
its like everything that had happened in the game, and all the time they spent focused on hiyoko and what she was going through just went to waste, and they spent the rest on weaker material or scenes. hiyoko should have been given the same character arc fuyuhiko lived to see. and both of them have so much in common already, they'd make a pretty good duo. e.g., they both lost someone they loved (mahiru & peko), they're both mean, stubborn, and quippy but secretly soft around the right people, also hello they literally look related anyway ... the blonde hair and the rosy cheeks . come on. someone on spike chunsoft saw them. but it didnt work out. anyway i feel like they would bond amazingly, albeit very slowly, but they're definitely the duo to just gossip all the time about other people LOL, and fuyuhiko would try to comfort her as well, because he's lost two people
hiyoko wouldn't just easily forgive him of course, i dont think she ever could, hence why i emphasized they'd slowly bond because the tension would be agonizing. she was furious, and still mourning mahiru when she had just died, but she would at least understand him and grow to accept his company and genuine kindness overtime (and she had almost seemed to near the very end??). if she lived to see his genuine growth and saw that he actually cared and that he would do anything to make it up to her, she'd be way less cautious of him. and she'd realize that the fact that they're both stuck on an island in a killing game, and fuyuhiko genuinely seems to be the only one who seems to bother, and the only one who actually sees her. so if not him, who else does she really have, you know. at least, at that moment
afterwards, hiyoko would just calm down and be more cooperative and helpful overtime, she's not dumb at all and she knows what to say, though she might butt her head in at the worst times, she also doesn't put up with bullshit, the same way sonia doesn't, they both act thoroughly bc they're smart. she'd also be really helpful in the trials tbh, i think she'd be the kind to spot out little details
later on she'd have sonia and hajime to support her too! someone has to help her with her kimono.... fuck it they'd all collectively just tolerate her but also encourage her. compared to fuyuhiko she hadn't really done anything bad, she was just hurt. she just needs someone, now that her own someone was gone
of course id love if she stayed hotheaded but just not call everyone a skank or a pig every two seconds, keep her mean side i love a bad bitch, she just wouldn't have kept that mask up, and she'd learn like, "Oh Shit, these people are all i have, and i need them". if she stuck around, hiyoko wouldve been such a good help as a survivor. and just generally more interesting to see, she woulda stuck out to me more in general. wouldve LOVED to see her shine in chapter three, or the final two chapters
hiyoko fans please rise with me. i love her and her dumb pigtails. tldr im MAD she didn't get her redemption like she deserved she was so cool despite also being nasty but she had a CHANCE dude the potential was shining bright in front of our eyes
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laurajameskinney · 7 months
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trick or treat!! kitty maybe? or ororo or logan
Answering for Ororo because I know I have some #contentious (not really, i just don't think i've seen anyone else with the same ideas as me) thoughts on her relationship with Laura. Laura is there because. Well. I could have sworn I had at some point written something with both of them, but I can't find it so I think I didn't type it up? So you get mostly elaborating on ideas i've discussed with @batmanego .
i feel like i talk about this a lot, but mostly in private and not on this blog-- i think that ororo very much wants to be... not lauras mother, but like. her step-mother as something more than a technicality.
like even when logan was alive she was aware of (some) of his parenting failures and tries to mitigate them to her extent, even at a time when she wasnt dating logan and laura was just her friend's kid that she didn't really know. in x-23 vol 2, we see that she's actually the one to ask remy to look out for laura-- he tells laura that he wouldve done it anyways, which is probably true, but the point remains that ororo still went out of her way to ensure that laura wasnt completely on her own.
however, i also think ororo's valuation of her own independence especially when she was younger means that she's inclined to believe laura regarding her own limitations more than she probably should, especially in a situation like in Wolverines where she has a lot of, frankly, way more pressing matters on her plate (long term friend and partner had just died badly, running a school of kids who are way less self sufficient than laura, leading the x-men, everything with the terrigen cloud, honestly probably some other shit i forgot but like. Really Busy Time).
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camzverse · 1 month
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CASSIDY MICHAEL AND ROXY!!!!!
YAAYYY
sorry for answering like two weeks late btw 💀💀💀💀 ignore rhattt
(i wanted 2 do all three but like theres practically no canon information about cassidy.. this shit a travesty forreal. like what do we even know about her besides some logbook and ucn stuff. Sighh............ so just mikey n roxy i GUESS)
michaelllll
favorite thing about them: either the way he just watches that little vampire soap opera every night (So silly) or the fact he can draw. his little drawings in the logbook...
least favorite thing about them: him being a little BITCH in fnaf4. he was straiggt up INFURIATING. if i ever encountered 1983 mike its ON SIGHT
favorite line: "he tripped and fell on freddys teeth not our fault" <-ITS SO FUNNY TO ME WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM . that or his whole "i should be dead but im not im going to come find you" speech it was pretty cool tbh. he ate
brOTP: Does he even have friends. wait do him and helpy count theyre so silly. freak corpse father and little toy bear son... im not sure what does and doesnt count as a brotp lmao
OTP: dont really care that much for shipping him but jeremike is soo fun :3 i like them
nOTP: ummm idk i guess just. Not the icky stuff yk. cant really think of anything else
random headcanon: i personally lov the idea that he kinda designed foxy. like he came up w the idea in like a drawing. i think its neat
unpopular opinion: idk exactly how unpopular this is but ive seen a loott of people saying it and. i dont think mike was mean 2 evan bc elizabeth died and he took it out on him or Whatever tf it is people think (i also dont even think she was dead at this point. imo) i think he was just mean bc. he just was mean yk. he just enjoyed being mean to ev and scaring him. as older brothers often do. i just dont think there was some deeper reason i really believe he was just being mean for the sake of fucking w his sibling. side note i dont think he ever wouldve taken it as far as the bite incident on his own i think that was jst a special case bc his bullying was being super enabled by his equally dickheaded friends. ykwim? not like he wasnt at fault he absolutely was but like i think it was a mob mentality kinda thing. if thta even makes sense. Anyway
song i associate with them: cop car by mitski.... something something "i will never die" Also michael afton + dog metaphor makes me insane
favorite picture of them:
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he is Lookingg..
roxyy!!!
favorite thing about them: i LOVE her design. and also her personality. shes just a really cool and interesting character as a whole i like what theyve done in creating her. Ok thats not really a fav thing ermm im gonna go w her design cuz it goes so hard
least favorite thing about them: shes a gregory hater and i cannot get behind that !! Sorry queen u fell off
favorite line: def either "sign up today and be a WINNER! nobody likes a loser 🙄🙄" (i love the way she says it its so funny 2 me) or "i remember because you are number one—twice :)" (aww CRIES)
brOTP: do her and cassie count. Theyre everything. i really do not think i am understanding brotp correctly but its not like theres that many options either. whatevr. OOHhhh yk what i really fw roxy-freddy friendship. their dynamic intrigues me....
OTP: also not big on shipping for roxy but i yhink roxica is cutee ^_^
nOTP: umm i have no idea actualky. lmao
random headcanon: she is a #lesbian she kisses girls shes a big fan of women etc u get it. also hc that when kids go in her green room and they play the racing arcade machine she starts backseat gaming them like crazy . shes just mad she cant play the game herself lmao
unpopular opinion: umm i dont think i really have one Question mark.. tbh i feel like people dont talk about roxy that much so im not sure what Is a popular opinion. people should talk about her more shes interesting
song i associate with them: what you waiting for by gwen stefani!!!!! actually bc of that one roxy drawing u made that had that song LOL
favorite picture of them:
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shes so cool..
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99izms · 1 year
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the hour wasnt blue, but it wasnt orange either
soobin x f!reader (fluff, maybe angst if you think hard) 1.2kct
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synopsis: meeting under grey skies and hurt hearts opens the doors to a life that will flash before your eyes if you let it, so savor every moment you have with those you love as long as you can.
the sky was slightly overcast the day we met— soobin and i. the color was a steel blue, although another mightve seen it as darker. i couldnt have seen it as darker when he appeared at the end of the street and saturated the entire scene, if even for a moment, or by a slight percentage.
his hair was blond and hardly toned, and i wouldnt have cared if i didnt have an interest in him. you wouldnt care enough to kill someone you didnt love; you wouldnt care enough to make fun of someone you didnt love.
love mightve been pushing it at the time, but i stared at him until he stared at me. i stared at him until he smiled at me. i stared at him until he began to walk towards me. and then smiled at him.
“hi, do you need something?”
his question wasnt aggressive or accusatory like i was used to. he was kind with his words, even if he had no other intentions. i also wasnt used to that.
i couldnt reply, i just looked into his eyes.
his eyebrows furrowed and his hands ghosted by my biceps, not wanting to touch me. his mouth opened slightly and his lips were naturally pouting.
“are you alright?“
i nodded and finally opened my mouth. “youre really cute.”
he chuckled and took a step back.
“you made me worried, i thought you had a stroke or something.”
i looked past him slightly, although the objectively darkening sky made it increasingly difficult. at the bus stop was a little boy with a small, pink balloon. his father was tying it on his wrist with a smile while waiting for their ride back home.
-
the sky was a pale gray when i woke up in his arms. rain tapped on the window, and i pretended to be asleep when he began stirring awake. he whispered to me while rubbing my thigh under our sheets. his hands smoothly moved from my waist to thigh repeatedly, but i continued to fake my sleep.
he pulled my leg over his waist and pulled me closer.
“ill make you breakfast if you wake up.”
my eyes remained closed for a moment.
“you wouldve done that anyway,” i whispered into his chest, “i know you.”
he kissed my head and caressed my entire body, moving from between my shoulder blades to my lower back, between my thighs, innocently of course, and back around to his starting point.
he told me how much he enjoyed every part of me and how i moved naturally. he liked how my body grew naturally, and what it grew naturally. he accepted every choice i made joyfully and smiled when he kissed me in the morning, horrible breath and all.
-
the sky was a dark, tired blue when soobin was hugging me goodbye. our oldest child had her arms crossed, claiming she was tired of waiting to be finally taken to her next stop in life: college.
“i was in college when i met your dad, you know.”
she was annoyed all summer when i was repeating that phrase to her. she could mime my love story with soobin perfectly at this point, but i didnt care.
i kissed his neck softly.
at this age, we joked about how our skin would sag, and our sex drive would be dead. we would have laugh lines and our eyesight would be gone. despite all that, it wasnt true, and his skin felt as soft on my lips as it did when we were twenty and lay in bed all those nights ago.
i moved my body from his to our oldest, hugging her tighter, knowing shes a physical representation of everything soobin and i have made in our lives. of course shes her own person, yet when i look at her i cant help but see the eyes ive loved for decades over, and he tells me her smile fills his heart the same way mine does.
she hugged her younger siblings and waved goodbye to us, sending us kisses while entering the passenger seat.
when soobin returned home to us, he told us she was quiet with tears the whole ride out of the city.
-
the sky was a pitch black in the mid day when the love of my life died.
he wasnt the love of my life, thats far too tame to describe him as.
if he was my body, he wasnt my heart, he was my veins and the blood inside. he wasnt my will to live, he was my life, and will always be. now that hes gone i feel my body is cold and my feet are numb. my brain is foggy and i believe im undead.
he wasnt even my veins and blood inside, he was the soil i lived on and thanked the universe for creating. he birthed every greatness in my life, and gave me the depression i knew i needed to appreciate the greatness in question.
and at some points he wasnt the soil i lived on, he was the god i worshipped and wouldve done anything for. the amount of monsters i wouldve slain for him, my braided hair tucked into my suit of armor and sword pointed to the heavens, is countless.
i wouldve stabbed myself between the eyes if my darling had asked me to, and i almost did beyond his request.
however, he asked me to continue living for him, and it was the hardest mission i would ever think to do for him.
he asked me to love our kids and continue happily, so i did as long as i could.
he asked me to not die of a broken heart, to not die even with a broken heart, and i am trying, but im not sure if i truly could.
alas, i will try for him
-
the sky was in the perfect blue hour the day we met again— soobin and i. although another mightve seen it darker (lord look over our wonderful children), the day was perfect for us.
soobin always hated seeing our children cry, especially our oldest, she always implied she wasnt the crying type. the youngest encouraged crying and believed it was healthy. the oldest hated it, and soobin understood. seeing her cry made his heart hurt— well, whatever is the remains of his technical heart. his soul, maybe.
he held me while we watched, and i asked him if he watched us mourn him too. he confirmed and i felt pity.
“you were alone.”
“but i knew it was just a waiting game. im not alone forever. my parents eventually saw me again. i eventually saw you. and, unfortunately, we’ll see them again.”
i nodded and pushed further into his body, or form, or whatever we are now.
by the ends of our life, our skin was sagging, and we didnt have the energy or physical ability for sex anymore, but we didnt mind it like we assumed we would years ago.
our love was truly infinite and with every moment that time passes, and with every change of physical appearance we underwent, we loved each other even more.
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gnzma · 1 year
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[ thinking about. rainbow rocket: sumo edition like i dont THINK the gang goes out of their way to help lusamine ( source: wrostie ended up in kanto ) i still need to think about the BASIS, but i do see them still attacking the aether foundation and guzma joining in specifically for no reason other than "the champion and their girlfriend really want to stop these clowns and since i owe them my life i might as well tag along mind you, this is like. after 3 months of the big depression moment, the few Skulls he met were either having a bad time all on their own, hated his guts or both, most of the time, and even if he worked with Hala to find a way to Be Normal(tm), people rightfully didnt trust him.
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this was during guzma's peak sad hour, and yet he's determined to give MC a hand as much as he can. like!! he's strong!!! maybe he can help out in a way or another??? and just like in the game, i can see him stuck at the entrance of the manor, holding back Rocket grunts while the champion and Lillie take care of the BBGEs- but, instead of being comedic like in the game, since we love to see Rockets Being Bastards, there aren't only two grunts Rocket is already a powerful and prideful Team on their own, imagine them in a world where they won. A world where Red, Gold and Lyra actually lost, probably died, and Rocket has a hold on the whole KanJoh region thanks to MewTwo, with influence in the League. The MC wouldve had to deal with a whole army at the entrance... and that's when Guzma comes in, his good ol' anger and wish for destruction finally returning to burn. he still feels like a failure, and knows that if there's someone who can save everyone, as much as he hates it, it's the Champion, so he might as well do what she does best and break some bones, giving them the time to solve the situation.
and, to be fair, for a long while? He managed to keep up with the waves of enemies. His Pokèmon fought alongside him, teeth were punched out of mouths, bones were broken, blood was spilled -- but, as much as he wants to think he could've done it on his own, it was still just one man against a whole Team. His bugs started to fall, and after some minutes his movements started to get sloppy. He began to hit with much less strenght, needing more time to breathe, and in return the punches he recieved seemed much worse.
He found himself in a corner, eventually. Held down, both arms restrained, and as much as he tried to fight back there isn't much one could do at that point... but that's okay, right?
The kid would fix this mess, somehow. And, welp. He always wanted to go down in a battle, it might as well happen during a battle with a whole Team of intergalactic criminals, or something like that.
Wouldn't be the weirdest thing in his life, anyway. He fully expected the finishing blow, keeping his eyes on the Rocket who took the liberty of bringing a gun into a fistfight, smug to the very end--- -----and then, instead of a gunshot, what he heard was the clear sound of Plumeria's fist slamming onto the grunt's face, smacking him out of the way, quickly followed by Dosh'Te's taser, and the battlecry of Skull grunts and their Yungoos and Rattatas coming to the rescue.
there weren't many of them, but that didn't matter. Together, they would win this. This was the moment Guzma fully realized where he truly fitted in, who his people were. That in the same way Skulls were lost without him, he was lost without them. That he needed to bring back the Team.
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kingcunny · 8 months
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EIHF again <3. I'm so excited to see your fic. You have no idea!!!!
1) I'm firmly convinced Rhaenyra left for Dragonstone without telling her father purely to punish him for EVERYTHING. And, damn girl, it worked. Had that man WEEPING. It's the first time she's ever moved to reject him. I think her message was, in part, "If you hadn't chosen Alicent--if you didn't keep choosing Alicent-- I would still be here." (Personally, I think she should've threatened to off herself a couple of times in those early years. She could have had him shaking in his boots, and it might have been fun for her.) I think he heard her message loud and clear, given the scene with Aemma's ring. You chose the wrong girl, dummy!
2) Otto's return sealed Laenor's fate. Marrying Laenor and firing Otto were two parts of the same deal to Rhaenyra. Viserys didn't uphold his part of the bargain, so she's released from her part. Daemon being there is some additional incentive, but I feel she's was already packing Laenor's bags anyway.
3) To me, every part of Viserys' actions at Driftmark are to get his brother and daughter back. He makes an overt offer to his brother and is rejected. I feel his siding with Rhaenyra after the fight/Aemond's injury is his plea for her to come back. (Also, he is just not very attached to that boy.)
Viserys is screaming. "I CHOOSE YOU." And it fails--on both fronts. Rhaenyra and Daemon are just exhausted. They choose each other, without him. And I really feel like that's why he went home, laid down, and never got up again. He checked out of life. Laid in that bed for six years, alone and defeated.
oooh these are really good points. i really like rhaenyra leaving for dragonstone as her finally rejecting viserys, punishing him for not doing More to defend her against his wife. after all shes done to try and be the good daughter for him. (and i agree!! it wouldve been fun if when rhaenyra made him fire otto she realized she maybe had a bit more power over viserys than she thought. and then used that to try and manipulate him more…) then viserys, in typical man fashion, doesnt realize what he has until its gone. doesnt realize how badly he fucked things up until its too late, and now his worst fears are realized and hes lost rhaenyra.
i had been looking at ottos return as viserys being like ‘well rhaenyra left me so i might as well take my ex back :/‘+both her and daemon being gone means theres no one back in kings landing for otto to be butting heads with. but thats a VERY good point that from rhaenyras pov otto and laenor were part of the same deal. so when she saw that he was back… if viserys isnt going to honor their deal why should she? daemon makes it easier, but rhaenyra is the one that had seemingly already planned how to get rid of laenor.
viserys at driftmark is the equivalent of him holding up a boombox on their front lawn at 3 am. its too little too late. both daemon and rhaenyra are tired of his constant push and pull, tired of trying to please him. why should they have to fight for his affection when its so much easier to find affection and love in each other? theyve finally snapped the leash hes had on both of them, why would they want to go back. so they leave him, alone. and viserys has now truly lost the only two people who really mattered to him. so he gives up. life doesnt matter to him without them. so he just lies down and waits for it to end. only realizing too late that by trying to hold onto them so tightly he was actually driving them away.
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