#i was in my friend chat like bro where the fuck did this random South Park hyperfix come from

[hext00ns]

Still sick still doodling dumb shit i bring forth the guy ever

#south park #kenny mccormick #princess kenny #mysterion #art #fan art #myart #the suckass show ever somehow comes free with the guys of ever all time #i was in my friend chat like bro where the fuck did this random South Park hyperfix come from #and my friend was like ‘bro u just moved to Colorado this was literally fate’ uhghfthuji

[sugapop-rp]

*:･ﾟƜιѕнℓιѕтѕ Oƒ Ɯιѕнєѕ

              ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ hi, hi! tis bunny anna here and i thought i would decide to make a little wishlist for my muses! i figured this might be handy for in the future because who knows right? so read below to see what i have in mind for my muse beans and if you are interested, please like this post and/or send me a message so we can chit chat about them :) 

note:you do not have to be mutuals with me to do any of this (obviously lol), you can be a random peep passing by that is curious and that’s cool with me! you liking this means i shall be sending you a message instead thus make sure there is a way for me to do that (dm or ask). this will be also updated as time goes on depending on what new idea/muse i may have at the time

Choi Ha-joon, 26 and is an elementary school teacher

“muse a sings like an angel but is really shy so they only sing in the shower. everyday,muse b, who is their neighbor, listens to their singing and thinks muse a is actually a professional singer. one day they meet at the elevator of their building and muse b really wants to ask for muse a to sing a song for them, or just compliment them. but how will they do so without making things awkward? and to top this situation, muse a is also a lotattractive.“

give me that cliche old high school lovers see each other again after school by accident, the feels hit them once again and oof. make it angsty, make it fluffy, idc just give me some of that!

ha-joon is a book lover so what if ha-joon keeps coming to this book store that also involves your muse. they get to know each other for their enjoyment of books but the plot twist of this all is that ha-joon doens’t know your muse is not only an author but one of ha-joon’s favorite writers!

you left your USB flash drive in the library computer and i had to go through your files to figure out who you are and i ended up reading the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re actually really good???? 

Kris Yamada, 26 and is an assassin

so lowkey when i made kris i got a bit inspired by the video game “assassin’s creed” so would be interested to do something loosely based around that. something like say your muse is working for the enemy organization that kris’s order doesn’t like. they meet and get closer (friendship or romantic, doesn’t matter) and go from there? very basic idea i know lol but can be fun i think!

give me assasin buddies, bro this is something that kris is in need of lol. sure he can be like a grouch sometimes but he knows how to have fun! he used to live the wild life so let’s do some wild friend antics lol

speaking of used too’s...why not bring something back from the past for kris?  say maybe an old friend from kirs’s childhood? they can maybe meet on the street one day and they may want to ask questions because of kris suddenly dropping all contact? or we could do the more cliche idea of said friend is now a target and oops, now kris is stuck in an oopsie :’)

Song "Hayes" Hyeok, 26 and is an indie music producer. 

hayes doesn’t have the best relationship with his parents (this can be read in his bio here) so maybe one day his parents may want to do a surprise visit because he does have good contact with his sister and she praised alot about him. his parents (specifically father) wants to see how “amazing hayes is doing”. cue hayes trying to make things not go south because his parents are not fans of the fact that hayes likes boys...so to see him having a boyfriend/fiance/husband may cause some problems to put it lightly. this could include hayes pretending not to be in a relationship with your muse or pretending they are just roommates. a bit of a heavy idea so far in this list, i know but it is something i would like to explore for hayes. 

rival music producers, just give me some of that drama lol

a mentor type friendship where hayes could take in your muse under his wing to help them out in the music scene

“🌟–– we had a really ugly break-up and didn’t talk for a long time but oh hey, you’re at this party too and we’ve had a few drinks and now we’re kissing and … oh, all that wasn’t supposed to happen tonight but we’re sort of on better terms now and yikes!!! i might be falling for you again …”

“muse a is in an accident which leaves them without memory, and muse b had been on their way to break things off with their beloved muse a. when they arrive at the hospital the only thing muse a remembers is how in love they were with muse b, and muse b is forced to keep coming back to positive. muse b is trying to move on, trying to find a way to tell muse b that they want to leave them, but find themselves falling back in love withmuse a. muse a of course, eventually get their memories back, even the ones up until the last moments before the accident where they remember the fights and tension and out of the silence ask ‘youre leaving me arent you?’ but by this time muse b is entirely in love with muse a again, and muse a just feels hurt and decieved“

Sarla Dunnavant, 26 and is a businesswomen (no longer active)

give me that cliche idea of the businesswomen falling for their secretary or something similar, i’m weak for cliche’s and this one would be just fun as fudgecakes lmao.

enemies to lovers;your muse is a rival to sarla’s company and they sort of can’t stand each other ??? but like ??? respect each other at the same time ??? it’s weird but they think they cannot stand each other but one day during some business event, they find out they actually like each other and can get along (can be romantic or platonic)

based of this iconic post

ok hear me out...a sugar baby plot? it doesn’t have to be a schmexy plot either! it can be something like out of kindness (and boredom becuase what else can she do with her money) she will give gifts to your muse. like you want that fancy make up collection? alright, your college? paid off at the moment as we speak. want a lifetime supply of donuts? she can do just that. all she asks is to spend time with her and just chill out. 

Angelica Heartorne, 25 and is a vampire huntress

legit anything vampire stuff related. i am not going to be flippen picky. 

just because she IS  a vampire huntress doesn’t mean it has to be ONLY to vampires. she is multiverse so she can be a hunter for anything supernatural really. this can be something discussed for sure but she is versatile, she doesn’t have to stick to only human like leeches lmao.

a bit of a weird but funny idea that jsut came to mind? but what happens if angelica was dating someone right? but what if that person she was dating...was a vampire and she had no idea about this until by accident or something? please this sounds hilarious to me and would love to rp this out.

“ muse a enters a coffee shop and was in such a rush that she forgot her wallet, as she explains what happened to the worker and ask for them to cancel her order, then suddenly there’s a hand that hoovers over her head and money is slapped on the counter incoming muse b paying for her. muse a is like wHAT THE FUCK ! I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMEN I DONT NEED ANYONE TO PAY FOR ME, but she turns around and meets eyes with muse b who is beyond attractive. muse a then stumbles and ask how she could repay muse b and he tells her to sit down and enjoy her coffee with him “

“you said you’d call me in the morning but the voicemail you left had her voice in the background”

“ Humans start out at birth with milk white blood. The more crimes they commit, the darker their blood becomes. One day, you meet your soulmate. Skip a few years, and things are amazing… Until your soulmate trips, falls, and exposes black blood… “

based off this post

Jeong Jin-Gi, 25 and is an indie artist

“ Don’t give me one-sided unrequited love, give me two-sided unwanted love. Both sides are deeply in love with the other and both sides are like ‘fuck, really?? them??? really?’ “

“ ok so hear a sister out… i want an actual HEART WRENCHING  celebrity  &  non - celebrity thread. like muse a meeting muse b in the most random place and muse b KNOWS  muse a is famous but they’re not gonna say anything but on the inside they’re secretly freaking out. but they get to talking  &  muse b kinda forgets that they are because they’re just so normal and they have so much fun talking to them,  and muse ahas a rich lifestyle  &  is the most popular person in the world,  yet the only thing they wanna do is be with muse b. but dating the most famous person ever comes with the DISADVANTAGES.  i want the ugly stans drilling them over dating their favorite star,  i want the paparazzi making up stories about muse b  &  giving the constant break up  -  conspiracy’s,  i want the late night drama filled phone  -  calls about “ maybe this is just too much for me  “  &  muse b seeing muse a in a new picture released with ANOTHER  apparent love interest,  and i want new songs released by muse a that’s a little  T O O   emotional to just be a careless piece of work.  i just want the constant back  &  forth between them  & them wondering if their love is strong enough to overcome the difficulties or if all they are is a love that was never meant to last. “

jin ain’t no angel, he’s a bit of a person with an addiction to drgs so give me anything surrounding that. dealers or pals that find out about his addiction, anything really. just want to dive deeper into this side of jin

“i’m trying to start a celebrity gossip blog and you are an effing trainwreck so now i’m lowkey stalking you in hopes of getting a humiliating story” au

plot idea : muse a was a punk, and muse b did ballet. what more can i say? muse a wanted muse b, but muse b would never that secretly she wanted muse a as well. all of muse b’s friends stuck up their nose because they had a problem with muse a’s baggy clothes. five years from now, muse b sits at home. feeding the baby they’re all alone. b turns on tv, and guess who she sees? muse a rocking on mtv.

James Yeeun, 22 and is an art student in college

“im gonna claw myself apart. we watch netflix together and i keep a respectful and responsible distance; you lean against me to pause the screen. ask if i want cookies. i can’t stop staring at your lips. what? i say. i knew what you’d asked me even as you ask again, i just don’t want the moment to end. we’re just friends. we’re just friends.”

okay but how about an “i’m in my twenties and sick of still being a virgin, so one night when i’m drunk i think it’s a good idea to dm my old celebrity crush who is no longer really that famous anyway and ask them to take my virginity – wait why did they just dm me back?? giving me their number?? i don’t even remember doing this” au

“You kissed me on the playground the day before you moved away in the 4th grade and now your dorm is right across the hall from mine” AU

would love to do something where james could realize he DOES like boys as well. this is something he isn’t sure off himself so i would like to dive into this background of james.

so i was watching tiktoks last night and i’ve came across this story time and would love a plot for it… so muse a had a bad childhood for varies of reasons one thing lead to another and they were kicked out of the house, so they ended up couch surfing.. this enters their fear of the dark because they would wake up in the middle of the night not knowing where they are and everything is just dark and scary, so they begin sleeping with night lights or any sort of light that they have. well moving into college means roommates and muse a is too embarrassed to mention how they’re scared of the dark to their roommate. so first night, muse a wakes up screaming and enters muse b aka their roommate into their room and they’re like ?? are you good? finally muse a breaks and tells muse b what happened to them and then next night muse a finds a night light in their room, however, that night they still wake up screaming. muse b wakes up as well and just tell them that they’re ok and that they got them.. second year of college goes by and they’re not roommates anymore. first night moving in, it happens again.. muse a wakes up screaming only to find that muse b texted them that ‘they’re in their new apartment and that everything is going to be okay.’ it could turn into beautiful friendship or maybe something more?? i just want it pls

Rose Price, 23 and is a rebel along with school drop out

lowkey i legit got inspired by the video game character “chloe” from “life is strange” but i decided to do my take of chloe if that makes sense so...rachel amber inspired plot xD to those that are a bit confused, rachel amber the character is someone chloe befriends during her time when life is a bit downhill to put it lightly. they get close (some would say even romantic) and up until the final years of high school...rachel is gone. now in the games, rachel isn’t alive BUT i was thinking why not twist this around? make said missing friend (this would be your muse) show up out of the blue? with no answer as to why they just “left” and simply goes back to how things were. 

“gimme muse a just finished their sentence in jail and they lost contact with most of the people in their former life. on the day of his release, the gate pulls back and their high school sweetheart who they lost contact with years ago muse b is in the parking lot. “

  “i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after“

“we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other“

jsut give me any fxf plot ideas man. i want rose to get some love :(

Daehwi Goe, 24 and is an indie video game creator/works at a cafe

" give me a plot where both muses are each other’s pen pals that end up falling in love through letters please. threads would be in letter format up until they finally meet each other. please. “

“ imagine that you’ve been stood up by your douche of a boyfriend on date night and the waitress keeps asking if you’re ready to order but you keep asking for more time hoping that he’s just late. people are starting to look at you with those apologetic looks like they know and you start to feel worse and worse about the whole situation but as you decide to just get up and leave, this boy you’ve never seen sits down explaining loudly “sorry i’m so late, babe, traffic is crazy right now.” and he quietly adds, “i’m Michael. just go with it, yeah? whoever didn’t bother to show up is a dick.” and so you do go with it because he’s being sweet and trying to save you (and plus he’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen) and as you’re leaving the restaurant after the best non-planned date ever, he asks you out for real this time. “

“ AFTER MONTHS YEARS OF REPORTING TO A JOB THAT ABSOLUTELY KILLS MY SOUL, I FINALLY QUIT! WITH NO BACKUP PLAN OR WAY TO PAY MY BILLS ONCE NEXT MONTH IS OVER, I WALKED DANCED OUT OF MY WORKPLACE WITH THE BIGGEST SMILE ON MY FACE.. BUT NOW REALITY IS SINKING IN, THAT I’VE JUST DONE SOMETHING CRAZY IMPULSIVE AND OMG YOU’RE WATCHING ME SPIRAL OVER WHAT A MISTAKE I’VE JUST MADE AND YOU’RE SO SWEET TO OFFER TO BUY ME A DRINK BECAUSE I SURE AF CANNOT AFFORD ONE. “

“we broke up right before a giant roadtrip our friends planned and we don’t want to bail on everyone and ruin the trip so yay, looks like we get to spend a five hour drive and a weekend in a cottage together.”

Adagio Seo, 20 and is a warlock

just give me that chilling adventure’s of sabrina plots man...it’s why adagio was even made lmao.

adagio while yes, i did made him specifically for that show universe, just like angelica he is mulitverse so he’s not off limits to that show only. if you want him to be in a harry potter au? cool with me. a normal college au? also cool with me. want to go full on twlight, even better lmao. just because he is mostly for the show, doesn’t mean he’s not expandable :)

“ does the “i slept with you the other day and i didnt know we had a mutual friend and now we’re sitting across each other for brunch and it’s awkward because i ran out when you were asleep” au exist bc i need that fic “

ok so adagio has an interest of necromancy but like the thing is he’s bad...like really bad at necromancy lmao (there’s a reason he skills in herbal) so like just give the whacky shiz that can happen when doing necromancy wrong. 

basically anything warlock/witch plots, throw them my way! want my wild warlock to have some love :(

Simone Hines, 22 and is a worker at the garden section of homdepot

the happy florist who delivers one flower to the boss of the hardcore law firm across the street everyday, just to make their day a little bit brighter

plot #001: in which muse a is really insecure and struggles with their self-esteem, so muse b, their best friend, starts secretly sending notes with all the reasons to love them.

plot #013: one day, muse a wakes up and finds themself to be in the future, seemingly married to their high school enemy, muse b.

any plot with a soft, sweet, submissive male that needs to be protected at all costs because he’s naive and doesn’t know how to speak up for himself with a girl that’s dominant, rough around the edges, not afraid of anything, and is ready to take on the world.

  tbh i just need a long distance relationship plot where they cry on skype bc they miss each other so much and they have passive aggressive texts bc of what’s on each others snapchat stories but then the fluffy moments when they see each other at the airport and all the desperate please don’t leave me again sex and i just need a long distance plot  

Levi Kim, 24 and owns his own cafe

highkey want a ‘someone wrote your phone number on the wall of a bathroom in my dorm with ‘call for a good time’ and i just texted you to let you know that i scribbled it out and oh wait you’re actually funny and easy to talk to and now we’re talking every day and i might have a tiny little crush on you even tho  i don’t even know your name’ plot

i got up at 2 am to get some snacks at the convenience store down the street and opened my door to find you trying to sleep on the floor of the hallway because your roommate has his fiancée over so i guess i’ll lend you my couch for the night AU

it’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but sOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP YOU SHITHEAD

utterly obsessed with the niche but incredibly romantic concept that is “late night radio show host falls hopelessly in love with and pines for recurring caller, oblivious to the fact that the person calling in whenever they’re on air is also in love with and pining for them after finding comfort in listening to their voice every night on their long commutes home”

Park Hades, 23 and is next in line for the Park corporations/modern day greek god hades

look i’m glad you have a healthy sex life and all but will you please try not to pierce a whole through my ceiling with your bed thanks

i have a policy of not giving my real name on dating apps and apparently you do the same. we have a good conversation so we decide to meet, but oh no … it turns out you’re my ex. yikes!!!

#indie rp #krp #plot wishlist #thread wishlist #wanted opposite #indie krp #{ bunny anna's wishy list }

[riverdaleroundup]

Riverdale Roundup: 2x05 “ When A Stranger Calls”

Alright here I am once again, watching this damn show almost a week late. I honest to god don’t really remember what happened last time.

Oh right the Black Hood gave Betty a call and was like “ Hey girl, it’s me. Ya boy”. And he’s all like your sisters Uterus is FULL of sin so like if you don’t behave i’m going to kill that bish.” Alice comes in and assumes Betty is on the phone with her boyfriend like a normal girl instead of a mystery psycho killer and is like okay “ I pretended to like your boyfriend for like 3 minutes but honestly you should dump him. “

The writers remember that Betty and Archie are supposed to be freinds and they walk to school together and Betty is like I have tea to spill. Archie is like “you gotta go to the police” and Betty is like” nah i’m good. I’m fifteen and a grown up so like I can handle a literal murderer.”

So the Lodge family is gathered in Daddy's study and plotting about getting some other richie rich family to give them money for their SoDale(?) project and i’m like I STILL don’t know what the fuck that is.

Jughead meets up with the cast off B league teenage string of the South Side Serpents and it’s confirmed to me that Dilton confirmed did stab himself like a little attention seeking whore. I was unsure about that. So the Serpents think that the next reasonable step after the rumble at midnight with the Riverdale high school Bulldogs is to blow up a LITERAL building. That makes good sense. The slithery little snakey snakes are all like “ we aren’t the bad guys and to prove it to you we’re going to blow up the local newspaper with a pipe bomb our bros cousin made in his garage.”

Veronica starts going off about her old life with this Nicky bish back in nam where they went on crazy adventures and stayed up all night and i’m like oh last year? When you were 14?

Jughead rolls up to the South side Serpent bar and is like ‘okay i’m in put me in the gang’, and they’re like “ okay but first we’re going to haze you like you’re a pledge at Alpha Sigma Phi at Centeral Florida State University. “

The black hood is all like “Betty publish this story about your mother and her past on the south side” but like he literally sends her a newspaper clipping from back in the day. So don’t people already know about this? Why is it a big deal? Riverdale is small and gossipy as we’ve already seen so like did no one read the newspaper that day or did Alice gather them all up and burn them before anyone got their morning paper from their doorstep?  

The Sinclairs roll up and “ Nicholas” as Veronica calls him at least 11 times in the span of this 45 second scene is like “ this hotel sucks” and Veronica is like “ The five seasons is lovely.”  So this is supposed to be a play on the four seasons which are VERY fancy hotels. In what world would a town like Riverdale have anything close a four seasons or anything close to the kind of apartment that the Lodges live in? Nicholas should be complaining about having to stay at a Best Western or as this show would probably call it a Best Eastern or some bs like that, because that is far more plausible and riverdale is nothing if not completely plausible. So where do I know this Nicholas guy from?  Okay so I JUST discovered that his name is St. Clair and not Sinclar. Fucking sue me. I’m not going back to change it. that’s just too much work and I literally could not care less. He was that kid DJ in XOXO and in Staten Island summer. Oh shut the fuck up he was in 13! The musical. That’s fucking hilarious. Mirder me.

So Alice (whose bangs are once again different and I can’t handle it omg pick a style and stick to it) is all like Betty did you write this letter yourself for attention you sneaky little bish. Honestly it’s not going to shock me if the person who is calling Betty isn’t the real black hood and just someone fucking with her. How iconic would it be if it was Cheryl being like “ you threatened me in the bathroom so now i’m going to ruin your whole fucking life”. That would honestly make sense. So either Alice or Betty are getting Black Hood notes from a copy cat. OR there are two blackhoods. Who the hell knows?

Archie is in his bedroom pumping iron because you know he’s a man.

Jughead is trying to learn the serpent pledge and honestly shouldn’t it just be like “ I promise to share and be a friend” ala the girl guides. That’s so much simpler. So Jughead has to take care of hot dog and get spat on while what’s his face screams in his face and to top that all off he has to put his hand in the Rattle snake enclosure and i’m like okay i’m out. No gang for me. Toni calls Jughead Juggie and honestly i’m cringing.

Betty keeps coming for her mother and i’m like chill bish.

Veronica, Nick, and Archie are hanging out in her bedroom and it’s the strangest trio ever. Veronica turns down a line of coke because she’s too full from eating copious amounts of pasta at dinner i’m sure.

If Betty could change her ring tone I would be like SUPER grateful. Okay thanks.  She finds out she would recognize the face under the hood and i’m like no shit don’t like 11 people live in this town? The black hood is like “ I’m your only friend so cut Veronica loose” and not going to  lie that’s totally something I would do.

Jughead and Betty greet each other like they’re coming back from war in the middle of Pops dinner and they both just sit across the table from one another and feed each other lies. So healthy. So not annoying.

Nick is throwing a party and Cheryl is like fuck you all i’m coming to this thing. She’s Riverdale’s “ Resident IT girl” and she wants EVERYONE to know it.

It’s like three minutes into the party and Nick is like “ you’re friends are boring let’s all get high” and Veronica is like let’s pretend to be normal and i’m like  is it normal that 15 year olds get high in hotel suite off pixie stick esque mystery drugs?

Betty tears Veronica a new asshole and is honestly SUPER harsh but honestly pretty honest and i’m like Betty did you have to be so brutal? But whatever. Into it.

Toni rolls up to warn Jughead about joining the gang but all I could focus on was the dog in the background.

Nick is coming on to Veronica and she’s like lol we’re friends, no bro. Then he’s like “listen up bitch. If you don’t blow me i’m going to tell my daddy to tell your daddy to go fuck himself.” So like yikes.

The black hood is like defs not #Teambughead and is like okay Betty dump him. She’s like shit, and basically begs Archie to break up with Jughead for her and I would be judgy but I once made my sister quit my job for me so like bitches in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

So Alice rolls up to this gala in a very TS style fashion owning the snake label in a romper that basically goes down to her belly button. She promptly tells her good for nothing husband to shut up and continues to act as if she owns the place. I love it.

Nick is like “ omg so sorry for trying to blackmail you into sleeping with me V. I’ve been to rehab btw” and Veronica is like “ Okay we can be BFFs again. Let’s drink some ginger ale.”

Archie breaks up with Jughead for Betty in front of his whole new posey and it’s ice cold. The Serpent's proceed to beat the living shit out of Jughead and i’m like cute. Best way to gain loyalty from your new member.

Nick and Cheryl are chatting and it’s going well until he’s like “ hmmm she seems into me. Guess I’ll roofie her.” Like what the actual fuck you monster?

Josie and the Pussycats + Veronica  decide to pull out a cover of a song from Rent and i’m like i’m not mad but why? It just seems like such a random choice.  They note Nick taking a clearly fucked up Cheryl “ out for some air” and i’m like are you not in a literal tent?

They run through the halls of the 5 seasons and discover a master set of keys because all hotels just leave those hanging around. They rescue Cheryl and beat the living shit out of Nick which like good on you but that’s like super illegal and he’s so the type to lawyer up with Daddys money.

Black Hood tells Betty to go to this abandoned house to find out who he is and i’m like bitch this is SUCH a bad idea. Obviously he was never going to tell her who he is. Like what did she expect she’d put the mask on turn around and be like “ OLD MAN SMITHERS!” like this is some Scooby Doo type shit? Clearly not you silly bish.

Okay so we all gather around Cheryls bedside and Archie is ready to go FULL red circle on Nick and honestly betty is almost just sitting there like “ why am I here?”

Toni and Jughead admire his new tattoo while he ices his now fucked up face and then suddenly they're making out and i’m like okay murder me i’m not here for this.

Black Hood is like “ Betty what the fuck you’ve been telling Archie we’ve been wheeling! That’s so rude. I’m going to murder your whole family if you don’t give me the name of someone to murder” and she’s like “ Nick the would be rapist” and black hood is like “ yas good one. We are totes twins.”

Boom. Episode over. There’s a new episode in like two days so like a bitch will be back.

#riverdale #riverdale roundup #Bughead #jughead jones #betty cooper #archie andrews #veronica lodge #the cw #the cw riverdale

[nomadnaedotcom-blog]

The Biggest Lie I Ever Told.....

On-the-go Journal Prompt No. 01

Prompt: what's the biggest lie you've ever told?

Ok, so boom. I've pretty much been a psychopath since birth. Don't judge me, it's just the way the chemicals in my brain are imbalanced. I shouldn't say psychopath though, I don't fit the description according to the DSM-5 and it might be insulting to actual psychopaths? Or at least the psychopaths who want help and know they can't help what they were born with. I do know what symptom descriptions I do fit in the DSM-5 though, and once my new insurance kicks in I'll make a post about how close my hypothesis was to my new diagnosis. I'm off topic af, and I've already wasted 3 of my 10 minutes......let's start this over.

Ok, so boom again. Picture me, in the third grade; equal parts awkward and round with wiry glasses hanging off the edge of my nose. For this grade, and all of the corresponding elementary years, I attend C.C. Spaulding Elementary School. An elementary school in my hometown with a reputable and well known African-American history. A facility that once schooled Durham's black elite but now held an overwhelming population of ratchet ass south-side Durham kids. It's my first year at this new school and at about 3 weeks in, I wasn't quite sure who my friends were yet; but almost immediately I had clear authority on who my enemies were. So naturally, as the cliche` goes, there was this girl I hated.

As I mentioned earlier I was equal parts awkward and round, I'll also add to the list of misfortunes: short, shy, mousy, boring, with parents that didn't believe in wasting good money on buying children fashionable outfits, and from the opposite side of town. My enemy? She was the complete opposite. Tallest girl in the class, thin and leggy, personality that filled every room, wore the outfits my mam laughed at, loved by teachers who wouldn't smile at me in the hallways, was most sought after friend and hall buddy, lives across the street, spawn of Satan. She always did the worse shit to me. We used to do "peer reviews" on our spelling tests, she would just mark words wrong and claim she couldn't read my handwriting, and after I would just erase it and write it better to prove I spelled it right the first time she would say I was cheating. Twice the teacher took her word over mine. One day while I'm washing my hands int he girl's bathroom and most likely contemplating the combination of snacks I would consume once I got home to my grandma's house. 

This twiggy brown skinned girl walks up and casually mentions to me how much cooler her mom is than mine because her mom lets her talk to her boyfriend on the phone. Which, now that I think about it with my adult brain, is mad annoying and inappropriate?  because....like we're 9.... bitch, where are you on your 12's times tables? How you already out here chasing a nigga and we still eat strawberry applesauce during circle time? Plus, fuck is your mom doin bro? My third grade brain on the other hand? No matter how i try and analyze it, I can't even fathom how I jumped to the conclusion that the best scenario to follow this interaction is to open my mouth and say "oh yeah? Well I was also talking to my boyfriend last night." Just like that, a simple lie, but did I stop there? Ha. She's stopped speaking and almost looks shocked. This is good, but not good enough, so it's time to make this lie worth it.

The fake boyfriend, that I mention in neutral tones of course, because one must deliver a lie with the utmost grace; is both older and smarter than her current boyfriend and he attends another school in a more prominent suburb. More silence. How do we know each other, you ask? Simple, because we play soccer (?????) together at Oak Grove (a neighborhood I know she has 0 ties to). And you know what? Why stop there? To top it all off, while were chatting it up last night about the new N'SYNC album, he mentioned he had a friend who was willing to be a good man to your raggedy ass. At this admission, she looked like she was ready to start cutting away at my lies, so with a quickness I eye the two beaded bracelets on my wrist, slide one off and hand it to her. "Here, when I told him how cool and pretty you were he told me to give this to you." Boom. Mic drop. I'm outta this tired ass bathroom girl. 

It was so intense and extra. I got outside of that bathroom, walked a few feet down the hallway before a wave of hot white fear flooded over my features. The non-lying-ass side of my brain had awaken from it's apparent siesta and boyyyyy I was in trouble. It's obviously still something that haunts me today. Like forreal, although I'm laughing super hard as I type this. The fallout was impeccable. I came to the conclusion that I had to keep this lie up and keep giving this hoe random stuff to keep from getting found out. I don't remember wtf I said to get out of it, but I know I kept it up for at least a few weeks until my mama started noticing shit from around the house was missing. I'm pretty sure that this might've been the start of my anxiety problems now that I think about it. But Imma bail out on this topic...bc cold. Ok, lol and avoidance, but mostly cold...but otg journal prompt NUMERO UNO COMPLETE!

 Nae