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#i will not let their hatred make me hateful
ddodol · 3 days
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oh no — h.sh
one shot ⭑.ᐟ synopsis⭑.ᐟ oh no, you just love him too much. content warning ⭑.ᐟ smut! minors dni!, ex-bf!seunghan, fem!reader, pet names, reader might be drunk because they miss seunghan so much (me), fingering (f.), unprotected sex word count⭑.ᐟ 1.6k+
a/n; we miss you seunghan pls come back
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✩🎧⭑.ᐟ [ oh no — softee ]
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“i hate you.”
you were on top of seunghan, straddling him after you tackled him to the ground, sniffling as the alcohol in your system made your head pound. the man below you just chuckled, laying down comfortably, welcoming your familiar weight on top of him. seunghan knew you didn’t mean it, because why else would you even think to do this?
there was no way you called seunghan over just to tackle him down and profess your hatred for him. he’s not buying it. “i know.” but he could still play along.
seunghan used to be your boyfriend long ago and you never got a proper closure because you were the one that cut everything off— upset about something that even you don’t remember. seunghan’s hand ran over your leg, the familiar touch making you shiver. he knew what he was doing to you, he knew too well.
“babe.” god, his voice was just as you remembered, sweet and gentle. you hated how he made you feel, a feeling you thought you got over until you saw him. “i hate you,” you repeated, determined to believe that you really did even though your hands were pulling him up closer to you. seunghan was so close to you, you could feel his shaky breath and the way his sharp eyes looked at you with affection. those cursed eyes.
”seunghan,” you whimpered, your heart beating against your ear as he smiled. you knew how he loved hearing his name from your lips and he missed it dearly. you ran your hand through his dark hair, “what if i kissed you right here?” your voice became smaller, less certain as your resolve wavered in front of the gorgeous man in front of you.
seunghan just smiled at you, “i’d love nothing more.” you bit your lip, “what if you felt the way i do?” he lets out a soft chuckle, his hands now on your back, “i already do. i never stopped loving you, princess.”
his words were enough for you to throw yourself at him, lips desperately latching onto each other. just like you feared, you could feel how much seunghan loved you with every kiss. warmth ran throughout your body, your head spinning at how lost you got at the mere contact. you missed him. everything about him was the same, the way he’d move your head for you so you wouldn’t clash or even the way he’d hold you so tenderly.
”princess,” he sighed out, gently pulling you in even more until he could feel your body against his. seunghan’s other hand ran over your curves, biting on your lip softly. you let out a sigh of your own, barely keeping up with his pace as you began to get dizzy. you stuck your tongue out, making seunghan smile and suck on it before running his own up your mouth. you loved it as much as you missed it.
you grabbed on his shirt, trying to pull away as you felt his bulge against your thigh. seunghan didn’t let go, locking you in his arms as he pushed you down his growing bulge. you let out a whimper, eyes fluttering open as he looked into your eyes. seunghan couldn’t look away, afraid that you’d disappear again if he did.
“show me how much you hate me, baby.” you wanted to laugh at his words but you could barely hold yourself up, laying your head against his neck. “i hate you, hannie,” you whispered against his skin as your hips moved slowly. seunghan let out a soft moan, the one you liked drawing out of him. this only spurred you on, biting on your lip with determination as you grounded yourself even more. “fuck, princess,” he hissed, brows furrowing at how good you were making him feel.
if it was up to seunghan, he’d love nothing more than to pamper you and whisper how much he loved you. but your absence in his life made him crave you more and more, seunghan didn’t want to lose you again. “get up for me, princess,” he muttered and you obeyed immediately, feeling his hands undo your pants and slip them off of you. you let out a broken hum, going back to his arms as soon as he was done.
seunghan laughed at how ironic you were being but he let it slide, he loved you too much to question it. he lifted you up slightly, just enough so he could slip his hand in between your legs. seunghan sighed at your heat, “you’re still so wet, princess.” he gave you a quick peck before slipping a finger inside, groaning at how tight you felt.
“hannie,” you moaned, voice shaking as seunghan thrusted carefully. “does it hurt?” he asked carefully, trying to peek at your face. “n-no, i can take more,” you boldly stated, your voice ironically shaking. seunghan bit back a smile, placing a kiss on your shoulder as he pulled his finger out now slowly pushing two fingers inside. you whimpered as you felt his fingers scissoring you inside. you missed it when seunghan stretched you out for him, loving the way his fingers would move inside of you.
seunghan licked his lips, noticing how you were dripping down on him as he fingered you. “think you can take me now, princess?” he sounded desperate and you couldn’t help but want to feed into seunghan’s desperation. you raised your head up to look at him, smiling as you saw his face.
seunghan held your cheek, in awe at the small smile he finally got from you after so long. “really need to feel you on me, princess,” you let out a small moan when his fingers purposely reach that deep spot you liked so much. you knew it was his subtle way of telling you that you could get more of that if you let him.
”give it to me.”
he didn’t need to hear more, nodding quickly as he pulled his cock out. you wanted to take a peek, see if it’s just as you remembered when seunghan held your chin, making you look at him. “keep your eyes on me, princess,” you felt shivers down your spine, biting on your lip as you felt his tip prodding against your entrance. and, god, he was just as big as you remembered him.
”seunghan,” you whined, already feeling stretched with only his tip inside. “you feel just as good as i remember, baby. so good to me,” he sighed, placing kisses all over your skin as he sank you down slowly. you adjusted almost immediately, your walls welcoming seunghan as if they missed him just as you did. seunghan’s lips were parted prettily, trying to keep it together as you sat on his cock so prettily. he could feel your slick on his skin, darting his tongue out as he looked up at you, half-lidded eyes looking back at him.
he smiles, pulling you in for a kiss. you melt against his touch, walls embarrassingly clenching down at the way his tongue moved against yours. you were so needy but seunghan didn’t call you out on it and that made it worse because you could feel him smiling against the kiss. you pull away, pouting at him.
seunghan laughs at your pout, kissing it away as his hands on your hips began to bounce you up and down. your lips parted immediately, strings of moans slipping out your mouth at how full seunghan made you feel. you loved it, you loved him so much.
”hannie,” you bit your lip, seeing how he just watched your face, “you’re making me feel too good, hannie.” seunghan grinned, leaning in to kiss your cheek, “i know princess, i’d love nothing more than to make you feel good.” you cried out when he bit on your skin, burying your nails against his back.
you begin to move your hips, feeling the familiar pool of heat building up in your stomach. seunghan knew full well you were close, biting on his lip as he let you move as you pleased. he pulled the shirt you had on over your head, easily unclasping your bra so he could play with your breasts. seunghan smiled when you clench on him, you were just as sensitive as he remembered and he wanted to use that to his advantage.
seunghan latched his mouth against your nipple, eliciting loud cries from you. “h-hannie—” you grabbed on his hair, wanting to pull him away but you just kept it there. seunghan licked all over your skin, leaving small marks everywhere— the way you liked it. your body began to tense up, thighs trembling as you start to feel extra sensitive.
”cum for me, princess, i got you,” seunghan muttered breathily, still watching as your face contorted in pleasure. you whimpered, letting out broken moans, somewhat struggling to reach your high. “can’t cum by myself, hannie,” you babbled, hips stuttering with each movement. seunghan let out a groan, flipping you over on your back.
you licked your lips in anticipation when you felt seunghan pulling out, almost biting on your tongue when he thrusted back in roughly. you could feel him hitting your sensitive spots, crying out as you finally reached your high. you cried out incoherently, walls clamping down on seunghan’s cock as you came all over him.
seunghan stilled inside for a second before puling out, pumping his cock until he shot his load on your stomach. you laid on the floor, breathing heavily as you ran your fingers over your stomach, playing with seunghan’s cum on your skin. seunghan chuckles at you, leaning down to place a kiss on your lips.
”do you still hate me?” he asked timidly that you couldn’t help but laugh, voice hoarse from everything he did to you. “mm, maybe not as bad as before.” ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
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aranock · 9 hours
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I'm tired.
Just sort of in general I am exhausted. I know I put on a brave face a lot, but the hate does get to me. The constant unceasing hatred both offline and online gets to me. I'm human idk what to say. Been thinking a lot about the Bilbo quote, I might be paraphrasing, "I feel like too little butter spread across too much toast."
It's pride month, I should be feeling happy right? I convocated finally after a brutal long degree I should be feeling happy right? I like how my body looks for the first time in my life shouldn't I feel happy?
And I know that's not helpful, that feelings are not a should thing. And yet I feel it anyway :/. Not that I do not feel happy, I would say on average I am better than I have been at any other point in my life. But it does get to me.
I was invited to dinner with a former family member, a blood relative that breached every boundary I placed and even went so far as to accost me in a public space. It's hard watching someone lose all love for you the more you become yourself. Being told I'm an embarrassment to my parents by creeps online stings a lot more now that I had a blood relative say it to my face while aggressively yanking my jacket so I couldn't get away. I know its a lie, I know that this person saying that hurt my parents as much as it did me. Alas, anxiety rarely responds to facts or evidence.
Everytime it feels like I'm fine and over it; this person manages to weasel their way around boundaries to fuck up my mental health for a week. And the thing about chronic illnesses like mine is they flare up quite horrendously when you get stressed and anxious. Anxiety means waking up to acid burnt throat from reflux.
It makes my voice dysphoric all day.
I think deep down one of my greatest fears is that I am unlovable, that everyone around me secretly hates me and is just waiting for the excuse to finally be rid of interacting with me. I am terrified that I am a burden. Mortified by the false belief that I am broken.
Despite how horrific my childhood adolescence and some of my early adulthood were, my family was at least a safe place. I recognize that I was privileged to have that. With that said I think the reason this whole thing has rocked me so much is that it violated that one last place I felt safe. It has made me doubt the love of those I never thought I would.
Sometimes transphobia feels like drowning, and if you try to swim for air everyone decides to shove you further down cause actually it's proof you are faking needing breath.
I text someone anytime I go run errands, just to make sure someone knows. Had too many experiences of hate. I get anxious when I go to get groceries; will this be the time I get hit by a vehicle driven by a far right transphobe, am I going to get called a slur again, will the store staff get suspicious of me and search through all my groceries to make sure I actually paid for it. But please, tell me how I don't know what its like to be oppressed. When men sexually harass, catcall, creepily hit on, follow me around clearly I am not at all experiencing sexism. Obviously the real worst thing in the world is that women "cancel" people on the internet, and trans people exist. Did they think sending me hateful articles would suddenly make me go "oh yes clearly its all in my head, please genocide my community, I stand for nothing and have the moral backbone of a slug."
I don't really know why I'm writing this, I dont usually feel or desire to express something like this publicly. I will probably delete it later. Maybe I disappear into writing cause its easier to deal with the feelings that way. That at least then someone gets something out of my pain. That maybe it helps to condense emotional mountains to the mole hills of short strokes of a pen or presses of a key. To let them explode outward in a flurry of thoughts and words that others look at and say "I too have felt this, you are not alone, you are not wrong for feeling this way."
Anything to take the weight of it all off my chest for a second.
Because I am tired.
I'm exhausted really.
I don't want to be brave or strong or resilient. It's tiring to bear the weight of that and a billion projections. Atlas does not bear the heavens upon his shoulders because he is strong or brave. He bears it because he has no other choice. Because people put it on him.
I just want to exist; that is apparently too much to ask for as a trans woman.
If you are concerned, please don't worry I'll be fine, I was fine every other time after all. This too shall pass. But right now it hurts.
And I have had my fill of hurt for many lifetimes.
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offbrandkyoya · 1 day
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Hey love if u cud do a piece of yuu nishinoya x reader where it’s enemies to lovers where they constantly argue ( fr can’t find any nishinoya enemies to lovers fics)
I HATE YOUR GUTS!! - nishinoya yuu (hq)
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you and nishinoya argue like it’s your last day on earth. God forbid you get any peace from that loud mouth and nishinoya feels the same about you. these arguments end up as something else however…
contents: enemies to lovers, gn!reader, angst, fluff, not accurate to the hq timeline, reader has a small crush on daichi, fake friends, academic achiever reader, nishinoya hating someone is crazy, ennoshita fan service (jk)
word count: 1k
a/n: I hope I did it justice!!! :3 Kinda nervy but I love noya #noya4eva
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Nishinoya Yuu is loved by all, especially the ladies.
He’s friendly, outgoing, and considerate. It’s so easy to get on his good side. It can be the same on his good side as it can be on his bad side. Nishinoya considers himself the best friend you can ask for, but if you say or make the wrong move, you’re done.
Unfortunately, Nishinoya doesn’t just not like this person; he hates them.
It’s not even rivalry; it’s pure hatred.
"Look, it’s y/n!” He overhears what his peers say. Looking up to the end of the hall, sure enough, it’s you. Nishinoya grimaces and rolls his eyes. As you were nearing his view, you also had a look of disgust. His face just ticked you off, and you turned your face away, making a tsk sound.
Nishinoya grumbles and shouts, “The hell did you say?!” You stopped walking and faced him. “I literally said nothing! You’re imagining things!” “Oh yeah?! I know what I heard!” You groan, “UGH! You’re so annoying!” “So are you!” You furrowed your brows. “Me? Annoying? You’re the most obnoxious person I’ve ever met!”
Nishinoya takes a step forward and says, “You’re more obnoxious than anyone I know!” “You have like one friend.” “I DO NOT!” You roll your eyes while shaking your head. You begin to walk away, with Nishinoya continuing to shout at you.
“What the-! Get back here!” “Sorry! My friends are waiting for me!” Nishinoya growls, then stomps right into his classroom.
You wouldn’t consider yourself popular, but you kind of were. Mostly because of how smart you are. You’re humble about it, but you never fail to rub it in Nishinoya’s face.
And that pisses him off.
“We can hear you guys shouting from below.”
Daichi states this with a serious expression. Nishinoya pouts, “They had it coming!” “Seriously?” Daichi sighs, pinching his nose bridge. “Nishinoya, you can’t keep arguing with them every chance you get.” “But they deserve it.” Nishinoya says it matters factually. “Nishinoya.” “Ughhhhh.”
Daichi lets him go to walk back to class.
“I’m not a child.” Nishinoya mumbles. It's kind of embarrassing to have your volleyball captain, who’s also a grade above you, come down to personally lecture you. As he heads straight to his classroom, you walk out from the corner, causing him to frown deeply.
You notice him and return the gesture. “A bug.” You say out loud, and Nishinoya's eyebrow twitches. “Don’t you have anything better to do than pick on Karasuno's one and only guardian?” “No one calls you that.” “Yes, they do!” You cross your arms. “Let me guess.” You point at him with a condescending smirk. “Those sorry first years?”
Nishinoya raises a brow. “So?” “So?” You laughed. “They’re first years! They don’t know any better!” “Our captain agrees with me. ” You blush. “Sawamura?” His eyes widen a little. “No way…” He whispers. Seeing your flushed face, there’s only one answer to this, and that makes him laugh. “You like Daichi?!”
You stutter, “I-I do not!” You sigh, “Think of it as a celebrity crush!” "Uh, huh, right.” “I’m serious!” Nishinoya chuckles, “To think you’re actually able to feel any type of love.” Your face is still burning. “Screw you, seriously! I do not like him! Not like that anyway!” “You don’t like who?” You whip your head around, and it was your close friend.
You compose yourself, straighten your shirt, and part your hair. “N-nothing! I was just, uh-“ “Don’t care.” She interrupts. “Anyways, hurry up; we’ve been waiting for you for like ever.” “Sorry…” You lower your head. She pats your head, then finally notices Nishinoya. "Oh, were you arguing with that shorty again?” “HUH?!”
You chuckle. “Yeah. Short guy, short temper.” “I’m seriously going to kill you!” Nishinoya shouts. “Let’s go, y/n.” She walks off, and you nod. “Kay.” You glance at Nishinoya and grin before leaving. Nishinoya really hates you.
“Not only is y/n a dick, so is their friend!” He complains to Ennoshita, who’s trying to get his work done. “And this is new?” He thinks for a moment: “Not really.” Ennoshita sighs. “Then why’re you telling me this?” “Because you’re my therapist!” “I am not.”
Ennoshita looks back down at his paper. “I really don’t know what you expect.” Nishinoya crosses his arms. “I just want them to fail at least once. I hate seeing their name at the top.” Ennoshita looks at him and says, “Then put in effort.” “Nah, I don’t want to." Ennoshita sighs once more. Nishinoya leans forward, resting his head on his friend’s desk.
“I mean, someone else beat them!” He stares right at Ennoshita, and the other isn’t phased. “In your dreams.” “Damn it!”
Nishinoya was at a loss. He wanted to get back at you so badly, but his stupidity and low attention span wouldn’t let him.
He roams the hall after exiting the restroom and finds you on your phone. He grins mischievously and points at you, “Y/N! Why’re you on your phone?!” He shouts, and you quickly put it away, rushing to him and trying to slap him, but he dodged. “YOU-“ He laughs as he dodges your every attack.
Your cheeks were flushed, and you stopped trying to hit him. “Mind your damn business, you mouse!” "Mouse, I am, because not even a cat can catch me.” He looks at you since you’re the feline in this analogy. Your face turns even more red. “You’re so insufferable! Can’t you back off?! Go fawn over Kiyoko or something!”
Nishinoya shakes his head. “Bothering you is much more fun. All you do is walk away when you can’t handle the smoke.” You raise a brow at that. “Are you calling me a coward?” “What? Need me to say the word for you to get the picture?” Your blood boils. “I’m not a coward.” He shrugs. "Okay, then fight me.” Then he laughs, “Or are you going to run away like you always do?”
You grab his collar, but at the same time, he holds your fist to stop it. “Coward.” He mouths, and you were really going to punch the hair dye out of his hair.
“Y/n,” Your friend appears behind you, and you stutter, “I was just!" “You and Sawamura?!” She laughs and grabs your arm, forcing you to stand next to her. “You know how much I like him! How could you do that to me?!” “I don’t like him, I swear!” You glance at Nishinoya, who only shrugs at you. He didn’t say anything about you liking Daichi to anyone.
“You better not.” She states and lets you go, “Where are you going?” “Gym. Bye.” You just stand there in panic. You take a step forward but shiver and look back at Nishinoya. He didn’t have an angry expression, but more of a confused one. His eyes were digging into your soul as he wondered what you’re going to do now.
You take a breath, turn back, face forward, and walk away.
Nishinoya walks out of the school and starts to head to the gym. Volleyball always takes his mind off things, and imagining your face as the volleyball is really therapeutic!
As he stands at the gate, he hears crying.
Nishinoya perks up and listens closely. The sound isn’t that far, and he slowly makes his way to it. To his surprise, he sees you sitting on the bench under the tree.
You covered your face, head hanging low, and hunched over in sobs.
Nishinoya has never seen you like this before and kind of thinks you deserve whatever happened to you. But he’s a nice guy at the end of the day. He scratches his head before walking up to you. “Hey,” he starts, and you sniffle before looking up at him. “What? Are you going to make fun of me?” You wipe your tears. “If so, do it fast because I’m not in the mood.” “As much as I want to, I’m not.” He confesses.
“Why’re you crying?” “That’s none of your business.” You say that, and he rolls his eyes. "Okay, fine, whatever. Go cry to your bestie and see if I care. Just letting you know, I tried getting along with you.” He turns around, but he hears you burst out crying again. He turns his head back, and you try to wipe the tears away.
“She’s not my best friend.” You say it in between sobs. “No?” You shake your head. “She just acted like one because of how smart I am.” You started to calm down a little and hug yourself. “I don’t really have friends.” Nishinoya looks at you wide-eyed. “Everyone I hang around just uses me for my brain, and they don’t really like me in their conversations.”
You rub your eyes. “I get good grades, but I’m very lonely. I have no one.” Tears start to appear again, but you close your eyes to prevent it. Nishinoya stands there in awe. You continue to speak, “We were supposed to hang out today, but my friends left without me. They said they cancelled, but their social media posts say otherwise.”
Nishinoya can’t help but feel sorry for you. Which sucks, but, as mentioned, he’s a nice guy. He slowly sits down next to you. “I’m sorry your friends left you alone.” He begins, “You shouldn’t be hanging out with those types of people anyway.” “But I did. I told you, I have no one, so I took the chance.” You then raise a brow at him.
“You’re not laughing at me?” “Can I?” You glared, and he took that as a no. He shrugs while leaning his head back. “I think I just pity you.” You sigh, “I understand. You have lots of friends, and you get along with everyone. You’re so social, and everyone likes you, and you don’t even have to try. You're really awesome, Nishinoya.”
Something happened to him that surprised him. Nishinoya's face was all red, and when you guys made eye contact, he looked away. “R-Really? I mean, duh! I’m the most awesome person ever!” He gloats. You blink, then laugh. “In your dreams!” It was good hearing your obnoxious laugh again, and that made him puke.
“Well, I’m done here!” He stands up, placing his hands on his hips. “Karasuno needs me!” “You mean the volleyball team or the school?” “You know what I mean!” You laugh again. “You know, Nishinoya, I really don’t hate you right now. Thanks for listening to me ramble.” He blushes again and scratches his cheek. “As long as I can hear you laugh, then it’s worth it.” He admits. “I’d listen to your ramblings every day." “I-I see.”
You look down to cover your flushed face and hold your hands. Nishinoya stares at you for a while before walking to you, grabbing your shoulder gently, and placing a quick kiss on your cheek. You instantly looked back up, and he moved back, his face redder than ever. “Well, see ya.” He starts to pick up the pace, but you immediately call out for him while standing.
“Wait!” He stops but doesn’t look back at you. “Kissing someone like that... you could’ve at least taken me out, you know?” A small smile appears on your face. Nishinoya turns back with a grin. "Picky, are we?” “Very.” “Okay, tomorrow then.” He nods. “And you better pay.” “What the hell?!” You laugh, and he laughs with you.
“Okay, I’ll pay, and I’ll make sure it’s up to your standards.” “That’s what I’d like to hear.” You both smile at each other. You give him a small wave. “Bye, Noya.” He blushed but waved back. “Bye, Y/N.”
Who knew that, in the end, you guys make a perfect couple?
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cowbok · 2 days
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Character Analysis: Narinder (The One Who Waits) Part 2
Part 1 Here!!
Alrighty, let's start!! Last time we left it at the begininng of Narinder's jealosy towards his brothers, and the affections the mortals gave them while he received fear and hatred from the mortals.
But before turning on his brothers, he tried to do something about this. He thought "Why do mortals fear me?" The answer was easy. He was the personification of dead. Judge of the souls, the reaper themselves. Of course they would be terrified of Narinder!
So, the curse of action was obvios. What if he wasn't just the God of Death? After all, it was fair! Their brothers weren't the gods of just 1 and 1 thing alone! Shamura was war and knowledge. Kallamar was pestilence and health. Heket was famine and harvest. Leshy is order and chaos.
So why couldn't he be the God of Death AND LIFE at the same time as well?
Of course, Narinder didn't knew about how to create living creatures, not even about the magics that went on the creation of a soul. But he would figure somehow.
It is said that Shamura nurtered this ambition of his. Without truly knowing Narinder's intentions, maybe Shamura knew the God of Death wasn't well received so they wanted to support Narinder as good as they could.
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Dialogs of Shamura right here.
Narinder was so close to figuring out the secrets of life, and he manages to created ressurection! Finally, after millenia! He would no longer be just the boogey-man of the mortals folkclore!
No longer feared, but loves just the same as the rest of his siblings as the god of Death AND LIFE. No longer he who lays a soul to rest. But also, he who reaweakens a soul anew.
And for this, for trying to go against the natural order, the bishops had to stop him. Of course, at the time Narinder couldn't understand the gravity of what he was trying to achive, he was just so full of ambition and desire.
So he felt so enraged when his siblings denied him. Weren't they supposed to be different from the brainless gods that slaughtered themselves during the purge? Weren't they supposed to be brothers in arms? That there was nothing they couldn't understand?
It seemed like it wasn't that way. And so, the bishop of Death saw red that day, causing the wounds in our bishops that they still hold to this day.
I like to think Narinder felt some guilt from this. But he never admitted it. Specially not after what happened later.
Chained, trapped into the deeps of the underworld, unable to leave for eternity. How could they? They were his brothers, his family, his only home. The only ones he trusted with his life and they dis this?!
Once again, shunned away, hated, feared, left alone to rot forevermore. The tittle of god meant nothing, for nothing had changed from the time he was a mortal.
The only mercy he was given was the company of the two kittens, Baal and Aym.
I like to make a parenthesis for them. Even after Narinder tells us he does not cares of them i believe he's just being a huge tsundere. The kits talk so higly of Narinder that its difficult to imagine they didn't form some kind of bond over the centuries.
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I know he does cares but of course, he loved his siblings and look how they repaid him? He would never be found showing love and appreciation over anyother, ever again...
At least he thought so...
The Lamb
A prophecy of a liberator, the most loyal of the followers of dead.
At this point Narinder knows better than to let himself form a bond with his vessel, its supposes to be just bussiness but...
It has been ages since he had devotion poured into him. And the Lamb, he's so different. No fear or hatred, no prayers to keep him away, but true love. The kind of love the followers of their brother gave them, instead of that rancid fear and horror disguised a respect he used to get.
That's why it comes as such a surprise to our cat that the Lamb refused to be sacrificed. They were their most loyal, weren't they?!?! Once again met by betrayal?!?
It seems Narinder has a tendency to see only his way, tho. Of course the Lamb has all the right to feel equally if not even more offended by Narinder's word.
I would give him, that it seems flesh sacrifices were the norm and that it was a way to show devotion. Judging for the scenes where the bishops get powered up by their willing followers. Narinder thought this natural, without taking into account if the Lamb was or not okey with it
(And that depends on the type of gameplay of each one. Personally, i hate doing sacrifices, so i headcannon my lamb as the same).
But this is about Narinder and how he felt when he thought was, once again, betrayed. The heart of the bishop of death cannot get a fucking rest.
After his defeat, might as well die. Why keep living this life that has done nothing more but to stab him in the back and front over and over again? And what's worse, he's not even a god anymore...
And then... The lamb spares him.
And the the Lamb gives him a second chance. And the Lamb takes care of him, and shows him a new life, and shows him things CAN be different, and the Lamb keeps him safe.
(And depending on the gameplay you choose, the Lamb even loves him, shows still devotion. And the feelings are complicated. The lamb betrayed them but... They still... Love him?)
And it's all so weird. So many conflicting emotions over millenia. But at last... He is free. And he has all the time in the world to figure out his place in this new world.
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And that's all!! Hope you liked this analysis. I just needed to take it all out of my system haha (HYPERFIXIATES TOO MUCH ON NARINDER HELP)
The cow now leaves. Bye!!
(Not going to talk about finals where the lamb kills him or keeps him alive to put him in the pillory forever because they make me sad 😔)
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lem0nademouth · 7 months
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thinking about how fucking resilient Jews are.
thinking about my great grandparents in romania, raised in a land colonized by the same empire that sent them to the balkans, still working as tailors and butchers like their ancestors had for generations.
thinking about them stowing away on ships to america so their children could live to see adulthood.
thinking about how many other five foot two bookworms have been in my family. i know i’m not the first, and i certainly hope i won’t be the last.
thinking about how many seders my family has held throughout history, how many “next year in jerusalem”s were shouted. it hasn’t happened yet, but maybe it will.
thinking about the women who passed down kabbalah to their children while witches burned in the next village over. how many mothers kept literal magic alive.
thinking about how every single person that lived before me, every branch of my family tree, had to choose to survive. living has always been in the present progressive for Jews; every breath they took was a choice to fight just a little longer.
i come from people who survived the spanish inquisition, the soviet union, the Shoah, the judeo-roman wars, ottoman imperialism, the rise and fall of so many empires i cannot name them all, and the only uniting factor is them. they taught their toddlers the sh’ma and lit candles and read books and sewed clothes and spun linen and cured meat and davened and smiled and laughed and they did that for two thousand years. ten years ago i became the first bat mitzvah in my family line. the first woman in my family to read from the torah.
i hope they’re proud. i hope i was worth it for them.
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tadfools · 6 months
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I don’t want to say this where this comment was added because while it was rb’ed from me, the root post isn’t mine and I don’t want to drag op in a circus tent. Do we really need to put homophobic on the highest shelf up from the tik tok folks?
This is about Kethric and ????? Homophobic coded??? Statistically and logically speaking, there are going to be queer people that you do not get along with and that you don't like in real life. That's just the way people are. And it's not because we're queer, it's because we're human
Kethric doesn’t hate Aylin because she’s a lesbian. He despises her because she is the child of Selûna, because he believes that she corrupted Isobel - not with queer cooties but with the love of a goddess who he felt betrayed him
If Aylin was a man, the hatred would not be diluted at all
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anotherpapercut · 9 months
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just officially sent in my resignation for my fucking childhood dream workplace
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lobotomizedlady · 2 months
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literally wanna dieeeee I realized belatedly that not only was down bad written for me due to being an alien abduction metaphor song but it perfectly describes my situation w/my ex who dumped me 3 days into our second vacation in his country
#but yknow thats what i get for dating a fucking man last year when i absolutely knew better. i was in a low place & the idea of being#whisked away from europe was an escape for me . we got along really well but the second i showed any emotional weakness he couldnt handle i#oh but he sent a bunch of messages begging me to come back when i was on the plane fleeing to my sisters london flat! lol!!!#i didnt tell you guys about any of this on my old blog when it was happening bc i just knew itd invite a flood of#''why were you even dating a man'' messages. yeah im aware. it was stupid & yet another result of my inability to purge myself of the#desire to be in a relationship my homophobic father wouldnt hate me for. and i didnt think any woman would want me . im over it now#fuck my abusive father fuck men in general im so over the internalized homophobia. ive always preferred women why should i have to#supress that to make my fuckface hypocrite father happy. i only rly care bc i love my half brother & want to be in his life which means#i have to appease dad. but at what goddamn cost#why did i say from europe in that earlier tag. i meant TO europe...im from the us#anyways. what a shit show situation that was. i have never felt so betrayed by anyone except for my dad himself#oh i didnt even mention the worst part yet. when i texted from london asking if our friendship was over too (god. so cringe) he then went#into this spiel about how actually what he said earlier when he was asking me to come back#(that it had been a stupid impulse & biggest mistake of his life) was a lie & it had been a long time coming#IF IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME FLY ACROSS THR ATLANTIC FUCKING OCEAN 3 DAYS AGO FOR YOU#and said hed tell me the reasons but ''didnt want to hurt me''#i have so much hatred in my heart for this man to this day when i really think about the mind games he was playing. unreal.#and he KNEW i already had massive trust issues
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cosmicpines · 2 months
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I'm not done listening to the Alex Hirsch interviews but god it just reminds me both of how much I miss this show and how much I appreciate the love and care that went into it. I love listening to him talk about the characters with a frankness and care that shows how much he values them being three dimensional beings.
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martyrbat · 11 months
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so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!
#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency#adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid#then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!!#everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others#rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you#make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing#or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult#yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred#like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn#so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you#anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds#so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask#like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and#his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking#doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie#and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it#(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me!#and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead!#and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is.#but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’#like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid#who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it.#i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow#anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness
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todayisafridaynight · 3 months
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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
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outlying-hyppocrate · 6 months
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i look in the mirror. hello pretty boy. would you like to get stabbed
#random thoughts#he looks eager though he's clearly been sick.#enter enter enter enter the person who poet poetry people never-ending defending paradigms made to be broken#glass ceilings much too high make your knees buckle when you stare at the reflection so reflective of something that just makes sense#this plays a familiar song in my mind i used to pick garlic flowers let me do it with you by the seaside#pick the poet technical and other issues ensue#and i am doubled over screaming everything i feel for you#never hatred only love though i could hate so many people#people-pleaser undefeated and they said “take me to your leader”#as if i remember where that comes from but i am god now#i am everything and anything and nothing all at once#and i make people sick#most especially myself#sometimes it makes you wonder if i do it on purpose#i'd like to be an alcoholic like my father rather like he was#because he's doing well and i think he tries but i say this just because#i'm just a kid and i know nothing about the world of boys and girls#i am a mechanical emotional vampire who will crack your head open#upon the rocks of a beautiful tuscan beach and the lord of the flies at sea#he called to me and called me simon but i think we're out of reach#petticoats are for children and i used to be just 39#that is not my age it is a number and a color#i associate it yellow because it used to be my favorite and i'm playing in the sand#i was 39 for a while but i care not to share the rest and everything is just a mess because i lie awake at night#wanting my hair back and a lover that will hold me#though the people need to be held so i will hold them by myself it's never me#but it always is i'm selfish even my mother says so#that's enough i'm overloaded sensorily overdosing#as we release ourselves we find it harder asking for help#no you don't need it all you need is to shut up and count to 12
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shrimp1y · 7 months
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they don't know im about to drop the wriolette fanfic of the century
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edelorion · 1 month
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#edel vents#disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh...#so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!!#today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today#and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go#i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with#aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there#and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to#discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual.#had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore)#so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood.#went home tired. can't really do anything right now.#at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks.#...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone#worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..?#i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed#as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them.#when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness.#to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth#and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her.#she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred#i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many#i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating.#i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin.#i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out.#i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it.#and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved.#i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something.#maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now.#sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.
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guinevereslancelot · 1 month
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slowly gaining the favor of the one child who hates everyone. i am the toddler whisperer 😌
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teethgnashing · 6 months
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i need to stop talking abt body image issues with people who don’t have a double chin
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