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kbchronicles-blog1 · 7 years

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I WAS FIRED

To an extent, I wish this was an April Fools’ joke. It’s not. I contemplated sharing this over the last few days, but then I realized that if my desire is to encourage others through my faith journey, then it will require me to be transparent and vulnerable – even when it’s uncomfortable. The good thing though is that this allows me to slowly overcome the pressure of always seeming to “have it together.” I mean, if everything was perfect I wouldn’t need a savior, right? For those who have been following my journey since my previous blog, you know that I initially had a difficult time adjusting to my new location for grad school. The culture was extremely different; the student-teacher dynamics were very strange, and I couldn’t find a single person that I connected with. Because of this, I found myself shutting everything/everyone out – including God – in an effort to solve my own issues and become incognito until I graduate. Needless to say, I hit a breaking point and God began to show me why it was necessary to submit everything to Him. As I transitioned into my second semester, I grew better at giving my cares/worries to God, stepping out on faith, and living as if I truly believed that God supplied all of my needs. – emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, and academically. However, things began to change when I started to get challenged with leaving my financial provision to God as well. In case you didn’t know, I’m a stickler for money. Not “stickler” as in always finding side hustles to get money, but “stickler” as in I always try my hardest to properly manage what I have. Until recently, this has always been an easy task for me. As a child, my parents took care of all the major financial obligations, so my only concern was stretching my little earnings across extracurricular activities. While in undergrad, I had a full scholarship, two jobs, a paid fellowship, and again, no major financial obligations. I always planned out my spending so I wouldn’t have to depend on my parents or anyone else for money. It also helped that I had a paid internship every summer while I was in college. As I transitioned into grad school, I was aware of the funding I would be receiving. If any of you are familiar with the politics of academia, then you know it was just enough to cover “adulting” – nothing more, nothing less - literally. I get paid, pay my bills, and am back to ground zero. Nevertheless, I was grateful for God’s provision because a day didn’t go by that I was actually in need of something that He didn’t supply. I did, however, realize that as the semester comes to an end, so does my funding despite the continuation of bills. I began searching for summer jobs/paid internship opportunities because I wanted to ensure that I would be secure for the summer. Within two weeks, I received an email from my department about an opportunity to teach at an institute. I visited the website and was amazed at how much teachers were getting paid [flag #1]. It was almost 4x more than what I am currently making, and was the perfect amount to cover my summer expenses plus save for after graduation. I skimmed the job’s expectations and realized that the workload would also be about 4x the work that grad school required of me, but hey, the money seemed worth it. I applied for the job, then prayed and asked God for guidance and discernment regarding the position [I know, that was backwards lol]. After completing and submitting my application, the confirmation notice said that I should hear back from the institute in about 2 weeks. Surprisingly, I received an acceptance email to the next phase within 2 days [flag #2]. The next phase was a video submission answering certain questions about the job. I had about 2-3 days to review the material before logging on to do my video. Normally, I thrive in public speaking. However, when it was time to do my video, I fumbled – horribly. It was so bad that I literally started laughing in the middle of my stuttering [flag #3]. I couldn’t start over because once you clicked “start” you had to continue. So I humbly acknowledged the fact that I probably wouldn’t get pass this stage lol, and accepted it. Believe it or not, the next week I received another email saying that I made it to the final interview. At this point I began to think two things: 1. This company must be really desperate if they still want me after that video or 2. God is really coming through for me. A 1-2 month hiring process ended up being a 2-3 week process for me [flag #4]. Though I didn’t seek God concerning this job, I assumed that He blessed me with it because I was hired. I felt secure knowing that this job covered all of my financial needs. I dismissed the fact that the job’s intense workload actually started immediately rather than at the beginning of the summer, but that was okay because in the end, the money was worth it. I began making plans around the money that I’d yet to receive – listing things that I could now buy because my summer money will replace it. I felt protected. Over the next few weeks, after our virtual orientation, I received an email asking for my next available time to schedule an appointment with the company. I thought nothing of it since we had multiple meetings like this up until now. On the day of my appointment, the facilitator says, “I wanted to schedule this meeting to let you know that your position has been terminated.” Um ...What? Who knew that I could be fired from a job that I hadn’t officially started yet? There was basically no explanation provided to justify me being fired, but near the end of the meeting I was given the option to respond or ask any questions. At that moment, so many options ran through my head of how I could “clap back.” I asked myself, “Do they really know who I am? Who are they to fire me? They must not have seen my credentials.” Regardless of these thoughts, all I could say was “Okay, thank you.” It was at that moment that I felt as if a burden was lifted off of me. It was also at that moment that the Holy Spirit showed me that my faith and trust wasn’t in Jesus. I depended on the monetary provision of a company that probably cares nothing about my soul versus believing that the Lord of my life would take care of me. I had placed my security in a company that had an “at-will employment” policy instead of trusting in the perfect will of God. Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." My heart wasn’t after God. I was more concerned with finding ways to take care of my earthly needs without taking into account that the same God that provides for birds, who neither sow nor reap, is the same one who will provide for me. It’s not a bad thing to desire internships, jobs, or even a pay increase. The issue is when we become so eager for earthly possessions or believe that the world has something to offer us that we neglect to acknowledge the sovereignty and provision of God. I become a slave to this world if I believe that they are the source of my needs. I had to realize that if I never have another job again that God already has things aligned that will take care of me, and that I have a greater reward waiting for me. Yes, I still have bills...actually more than I did before I was fired. Nevertheless, I can't worship God and money, so I've decided to keep my trust in Jesus. If He blesses me with a job opportunity, great. If not, He's still sovereign and I still trust Him to provide in His own way and timing. Who/what are you looking to for your provision? Are you worshiping money or other earthly things instead of God? Read More Matthew 6:24 Matthew 6:31-32 Matthew 19:24 Philippians 4:19 Hebrews 11:6 Matthew 7:11 Ecclesiastes 5:10 Hebrews 13:5 Matthew 19:21 1 Timothy 6:10 Revelation 3:17

#Fired #no job #unemployment #unemployedlife #CHristianity #Christian Blog #Faith blogger #Faith #JEsus is Lord #Christ #Jesus Christ #Jesus is God #Religion #Baptist #Christian Blogger #KB Chronicles

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