#i'd prefer no discourse but who fucking knows where this will end up

[itskindnessinfinite]

Treating fictional stories as some kind of moral compass is generally not the great idea some people might think it is.

You really shouldn’t expect every single story to depict every single relationship in a morally correct way. Sometimes, authors are going to romanticize a relationship that would be seen as wrong and/or immoral in real life and you know what? That’s fine. Because the point of fiction isn’t always to tell you exactly what’s right and wrong. Sometimes that might be the point of a fictional story but a lot of the time it’s up to you, as the consumer of whatever content, to make up your own opinion about the content you come in contact with. 

Dark fictional stories always has and always will exist. There will always be fiction that deals with things you don’t agree with and you know what? It’s up to you, the person consuming said content, to decide what kind of content you like and can deal with in a healthy manner. 

And if you don’t like it or agree with it? Please, for the love of god, stop consuming the content that’s making you upset. I swear, you will be so much happier if you dedicate your time to the things you actually enjoy.

Also, don’t harass people for enjoying fiction you might not agree with because I don’t know about you but I personally think that sending real life, actual, people death threats and harassing them will always be way worse than any fictional stories one might be able to consume.

#this is probably incoherent as fuck but idc #i'd prefer no discourse but who fucking knows where this will end up #it probably won't go anywhere honestly #anyway #i'm not gonna respond to any hate or harassment #you're entitled to your opinion and i'm entitled to mine #idek how to tag this #fiction #purity culture #anti purity culture #i suppose #fandom #proship #anti anti

[lionheartedmusings]

some thoughts about the cursed team, my meta opinions as to why i want it to be blue narratively (or not at all) and why i think it being red would personally bum me out. nothing i'd say is neg but it's a bit of a vent so <3 read with caution

but yeah the thing with the cursed team is that narratively it kind of... has to be blue team to be satisfying for me personally? or for the cursed team to be a complete and total misdirect.

i say this mostly bc a) on a meta level if red are cursed it's gonna launch even more twitter discourse and no one wants that, but also bc red just has the group of people that have ultimately been favoured by the lore overloads over and over again (not all of them!!!!) and it'd just be fudhdhhd so unsatisfying for it to just. happen again.

like i've talked at length about the fact that the amount of lore and server-side content cellbit gets is fucking insane, and that it (in my opinion) creates this really shitty situation as a viewer where everyone else just seems like they're background characters or side characters to help aid his puzzle solving. it's kind of exhausting bc like i truly enjoy cellbit and q!cellbit (second one is on thin ice rn) but like... it's every time? like you know cellbit is gonna get the lore. it's always him.

you also just have a team heavy with server related lore (vs for example aypierre who HAS his server lore but it feels mostly personal or bad who has INSANE amounts of lore but they're just his) and like... it'd feel cheap and disappointing if the big lore of purgatory aka who is the cursed team ended up being them.

i also think that like narratively and from a storytelling perspective i think bolas would BENEFIT from not being cursed, just as this like interesting contrast between mindset and reality when they go back to the island. it's poetic, it's neat.

bc if blue *isn't* cursed you know what we get? nothing. all the times that they were excluded from like the videos or the art or whatever? that was just... not lore related, and just an oversight, and that fucking sucks so bad.

if there's no cursed team i personally think it'd be a shitty red herring but at least it'd be preferable to a red cursed team yeno?

anyway just my two cents and very biased opinion as a bad / soulfire main

#qsmp #qsmp crit #slightly i'm not bashing anyone obviously #just talking about some frustrations

[aerifth]

ff7 rebirth spoiler venting lol

kind of really really hate not like, the discourse, i mean i guess it is but just the complete 50/50 split on whether or not aerith is alive in some capacity especially considering if your answer is "no" you take collateral

if you think she lived everythings honky-dory. you just accept something weirds going on even if there is an aerith that died somewhere in this equation there is still another (at least one) that didn't and you're riding that high. if you think she's dead then you take the entire former half of the discussion with you as you boldly claim that cloud is completely fuck-ass delusional and the fact that he deflected the blade at all is totally made up and in his head, thus making the hope she could be saved by players also a delusion by proxy. bonus points if you go out of your way to state that you hope this to be the case and that the alternative would be bad writing lol

idk its very hard to have hope because its like... i like remake!! sue me!! i like it as an echo of the original game!! i dont like that rebirth flushes a lot of what was cool about remake down the toilet even if either way it probably wouldn't make a huge difference. i'd rather have a multi-part story with a consistent vision than one that pivots halfway through to appease the people who never liked it to begin with

its really weird how heavy duty remake treats its deconstruction of destiny just for rebirth to seemingly not follow up. i think its possible to still stay the course, like, for all intents and purposes what happens to aerith is still a twist, and regardless of that there's still An aerith who was not there before. but it feels like a plot thread just erased. it's a plot thread you can apparently entirely ignore by choosing to have a romantic preference of tifa over aerith (?!?!??! i dont even know how this ends up happening with so many people, the ignoring part not the preference part). it felt like, after remake, this entire project existed to have some kind of resolution with aerith, to save her or SOMETHING (and you'd have to be crazy to assume the direction was anything else after remake).

i guess i'm just shocked that like... rather than sit with the consequences of her living, they just kill her anyway? and the idea is that she could be revived later? which feels antithetical to me, but like, we are still talking about the reunion! there's at least one aerith who's alive and another whose circumstances we don't know of for sure! it just feels so strange. even if she's not -dead- she's still out of the story for at least a little while, and the intentional ambiguity doesn't leave me with intrigue for the next installment (not to mention all the interviews are oversharing. i'm at the point where i don't believe any of them considering how much "In my opinion" gets thrown around).

just feels bad. in a gross way. the way people talk about it is so gross. if you have any hope that aerith isn't dead there's always one freak waiting in the wings to jump down your throat about how it's your fault you thought she'd live. this doesn't feel like healthy (manufactured lol) discourse for your game, it feels like something's gone horribly wrong and now we have to wait 4 years to get an answer

#ff7 rebirth #ff7r spoilers

[jen-with-a-pen]

If people aren't comfortable reblogging fics to their blog (which I am not, due to a personal history of being doxxed and humiliated to my irl friends and family), are comments sufficient enough engagement or would you rather that reader not engage with your work at all?

I feel like that came out sounding passive aggressive but I truly mean it as a genuine question and am just not sure how to rework it to sound less snarky! I see this discourse on and off from different fic writers and respect both opinions and think everyone should be able to curate interaction with their fics as they see fit.

Hi, anon.

I've been thinking carefully on how to respond to this. I can tell you're not trying to come off as snarky– which i say as someone who can't read tone for shit most of the time and whose own tone can come off aggressive or bitchy when I don't mean it to be.

I'm gonna address your ask as thoroughly as I can, if that's cool. Sorry if it's a long response. I'll put a cut in so I don't interrupt feeds ✂️

First, I want to pose a question to your question, which I mean genuinely with no spite whatsoever: why are you on Tumblr if you're not reblogging or don't even reblog?

As I've stated in other replies to the post I made a few weeks back, from the way I see it, Tumblr is literally built upon the foundation of sharing creations and content. There is no dead-set algorithm here like there is for Instagram or TikTok. Sharing is, quite fucking literally, caring here. We are able to form communities of all sizes because we share things. Reblogging is essential to the upkeep, and quite frankly the existence, of fandom and communities. Without sharing, our communities crumble and become ruins. We are actively seeing this as we speak: many mutuals and authors I follow are starting to quit writing due to passive, demanding consumption patterns and 0 engagement.

I know you probably know this, but I thought I'd restate it for answer's sake.

To answer the meat of your ask, I will pull from both personal experience and mutuals' experiences and input.

In my own personal opinion, if you are solely commenting on fics and are not engaging in anything else (no likes, no reblogs, etc.) then I personally think that Tumblr is not the site you should be on and, frankly, you should go sign up for AO3 if that's all you're going to do.

And I mean this earnestly. If all you want to do for engagement is commenting, then AO3 needs you because sharing does NOT affect authors nearly as much over there as it does here. In fact comments on AO3 are the literal equivalent to reblog on Tumblr: we don't get any and when we do it's like finding an oasis in a never ending desert.

Now in terms of what mutuals and other authors have said on the matter, it seems the consensus is that commenting without reblogging is a case-by-case basis. I'm going to quote a mutual of mine here:

"...if someone is commenting on my work but not reblogging… I'd say it's case by case. If it's just MY fics they aren’t reblogging, then it'd be a problem, but if they don’t reblog ANY [fics] I'd be more okay."

Another mutuals also put it this way:

"... I feel like there *is* both sides in this sense; yes comments are nice and engaging even though they aren't the preferred and most helpful way to boost writers..."

I feel like both of them put it into words where I struggled to. I will also say that I do agree with the point being that if you're not gonna reblog ANYTHING– no art, no content, no photos, no other fics, nothing– AND your profile adheres to the guidelines set forth in basic Tumblr etiquette (not looking like a bot and not a minor) then sure, comment away.

The verdict, in summary with my opinion and mutuals': it depends on your behavior and your interactions with other works and content.

I hate the word content but I couldn't think of another one.

But, my question still stands: why are you on Tumblr when you don't even participate in the basic fundamental function of this site?

I also wanted to take the time to address the other part of your ask regarding the doxxing and people finding out your identity.

It has been very widely known for (close to) two decades now that Tumblr is the place where you can have an anonymous identity. Truly. I've been on here for the collective half of the last decade and have been on the Internet for a little more than half my life, now, and Tumblr and fandom are literally the biggest and best places where you can be someone else. You can be completely anonymous.

The common denominator, however, is you.

The amount of information you have on your blog is what you choose to put on it. If you state your real name, your state and city, have one of those (imo stupid) carrd things or whatever, then honey– and I mean this in the nicest way possible, truly– that is on you. I know for a fact (from good and bad experiences) that you have all of the power in the world to annonymize yourself while still maintaining yourself on the Internet. That make sense?

A couple of mutuals made very excellent points regarding this:

"...I have a best friend irl who has Tumblr and is so close to the fandoms I'm in, and she doesn't know I write here. I am anonymous on here. I'm suprised she hasnt connected the dots because my aesthetics are the same in real life..."

"...I personally think its pretty easy to be anonymous on tumblr. Especially since usually all we ask is you have that you aren’t a minor at the top of your blog..."

"...it's really easy to be anonymous on the internet [...] you can be an ENTIRELY different person on the internet..."

From that last mutual, I'll paraphrase and go off of another point they made: the fact that you do want to participate and comment negates your ENTIRE arguement because someone– anyone– can find you and your blog through said comment(s).

Your digital footprint is what you leave behind. So if you have your city and state and grade and real name and all this other shit in your blog or carrd or whatever, then you are the only one who is responsible for having put said information out there.

Hell, I've been mutuals with some people going on 2-3 YEARS at this point and the only other things they know about me is my state, general city vicinity, my cat, and what I do for a living. That's it. And we span from early twenties to married with a kid or two.

We are in charge of what we share and I implore you– as someone with a certification in legal information technology– to please educate yourself on your Internet privacy and digital footprint. Please take the time to think about your actions and the information you have online. I STILL do this to this day, even after getting certified and being on the Internet for half my life.

I am sorry that you've gotten doxxed in the past. Truly, I am. It's a horrible act and I hope you never have to experience that again. Please know I am not being dismissive of that nor trying to blame you for said acts.

But it all comes down to you at the end of the day. In general, it's you, your actions, and the consequences of your actions. And if you happen to be a minor, then I strongly urge you to rethink your decisions and maybe step away from social media and utilize critical thinking in order to asses your situation and who you surround yourself with, both online and offline. I wish I had someone to tell me that when I was 14– fuck, even when I was 18.

And I mean it when I say AO3 might suit you more than Tumblr. If any fandom site has more capabilities to be anonymous than Tumblr itself, it's AO3.

Anyways, I think that's all I have to say for you. My DMs and ask box are always open and I am open to more commentary on the matter and related ones so long as it is civil and respectful. I refuse to stop having this conversation.

Thank you for listening ❤️

#jen speaks #commentary #ask #answer #long post #long response #i hope i addressed this enough for you anon #and others who kight have similar questions #this conversation is LONG overdue and i want to spearhead the effort to try snd build back fandom and engagement between reader and writer #anyways #i read this a million times and even had my boyfriend's input lmaooo #he doesnt have a clue about fandom but he assured me i wasnt coming off as an asshole 😅 #im hoping i can continue the conversation with yall bc once im passionate theres no turning back #and idk about yall #but it fucking sucks seeing your friends lose interest in their hobbies and you look up to them and i hate seeing them so defeated #its an epidemic

[olderthannetfic]

"tag your top, bottom, vers" Anon made me think of something I've been curious about: My fandom is very successful with cutting down t/b discourse. I believe it is because it got nasty some time ago (don't know though, it was before I joined) and now the majority of people want nothing to do with it and it's generally very fast gotten rid off when it pops up.

However, what does randomly pop up is discourse about whether one should tag who tops and who bottoms.

There is side A which ranges from "I have a specific preference and appreciate tags to help me find or avoid fics" all the way to "tag your goddamn fics, you horrible people".

Vs side B who ranges from "I remember how nasty it was back then and really don't want to deal with any of this" all the way to "I'll never tag, why would anyone care about who tops and who bottoms anyway, people who care about that are creeps".

I just find it weirdly fascinating that I've ended up in a fandom where t/b discourse is as good as extinct, but now there is discourse about whether to tag for it.

Is that a point of contention in other fandoms as well? Or maybe the tagging discourse is a thing in my fandom because while there is a tendency towards a general fandom preference as to who usually tops, many people are kind of writing them as (implied) switches. (As least when it comes to positions. When it comes to characterisation adaption and relationship-dynamic, it's a whole other topic.)

--

It's a whole other topic but also the crux of the issue. Most wank about this tagging is really about characterization. People do, of course, have purely visual preferences for who's getting fucked, but even a lot of the "it's just hotter" reasons behind tagging for the literal sex acts boil down to which character you want to see lose control in which ways.

--

I don't tend to tag for top/bottom because I'm either genuinely not thinking in those terms or because I don't think the tags would be helpful with the actual vibe of the fic.

I wrote a Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty fic about Wang Zhi, and I see him as a sadist and control freak, so that's what's in the fic. But who tops? I guess I'd say he does the whole time since that kind of characterization tends to be more of a seme thing in BL. The middle chapter has relatively conventional sex, albeit with a strap-on because Wang Zhi is a eunuch, so I could tag it for that, I guess.

If I tagged it for how I actually see it, I wouldn't use top/bottom. If I squished how I see it into that terminology, I'd definitely tag him as the top, even when he's receiving pleasure. The whole point is that Wang Zhi hasn't changed at all, but other characters are reevaluating how they see him. It's also about stereotypes and assumptions and the inherently voyeuristic, sadistic nature of authors, even pillow princesses like Tang Fan. The various sex acts fit with an emotional progression in terms of who trusts whom, but not in a 1:1 anal = more trust way.

How the three characters conceptualize penetration is important to the story, but it doesn't map well onto what I think most people are looking for when they click a "bottom!so-and-so" tag. Nor do service top or topping from the bottom really cover it for me, even aside from the problems of conflating BDSM and sex positions and relationship dynamics. I could tag them all as switching, but I think that would misrepresent the dynamic too.

It's not that I don't write some kind of roles. I have a very specific idea in my head about how Wang Zhi, Tang Fan, and Sui Zhou relate. But that doesn't mean I'm lying when I say those terms are hard to apply. In the end, I tagged it:

Sui Zhou/Tang Fan/Wang Zhi

Dubious Consent

Acupuncture

and the misuse thereof

Under-negotiated Kink

Bad Guys Made Them Do It

Eunuch porn

Fanfiction

But then, at the same time, I find top/bottom tags useful in a lot of really big fandoms when I want to narrow my search results and when people are going for a particular type of characterization that maps onto them well.

[pilotheather]

one ramble off my chest, bc i keep seeing this dumbass discourse and i just dont get it... as a preface, there's times when they openly state the political theming behind an episode, and i like it. similarly theres times where i do not.

but what i see sometimes is that... the argument that the show has to directly State Its Messaging right into the camera cuz it's meant to be accessible for children is, like, always stupid as fuck to me. its like if you were reading the ugly duckling and at the end there was an entire page dedicated to the swans explaining the Entire Point was about bullying (or interpretations thereof).

like, allegory is not... completely inaccessible. and i dont think just stating shit is completely accessible either. like its not a "this one is easy! this one is hard!" thing. i think if you turned to the camera, and said "this weeks villain of the week is CAPITALISM!" a child (who yes, could know what that is, but is likely not to fully connect any experiences they have had because of it to the word and broader concept) would develop a better understanding and be way more engaged with... literally being shown the story.

and yes they might not relate it to the political concept immediately there and then but... thats ok. i'd prefer to instill understanding of concepts into kids. i know theres plenty of media i did not fully connect to real world examples as a kid, but having grown up i feel like im far more appreciative of them like. actually demonstrating and communicating with me rather than just. slapping words on it. and of course those things arent mutually exclusive (both can occur) and as i said slapping words on it isn't always bad. its give and take.

children as abstract entities aside, i would understand More if people tried to argue that it was so people cannot deny the messaging and to put their stake into the ground in the current climate. that makes more sense to me. but i think the idea that kids just dont "get" allegory is just... so dumb when thats literally how some of the best kids media communicates ideas.

(and similarly some people seem to insist that it's cuz of a decline in media literacy and look. i do not have good domain knowledge. this is where i am open and honest. but i do think the insistence of a decline in media literacy is.... a super fucking ambiguous, open-to-interpret, bullshit statement - if not just a completely unfounded one. and ironically feels more like a snappy little sentence people loveee to throw about. anyway my point is, i dont think responding to a decline in media literacy by . literally. spoonfeeding people. is effective or good lol. cuz againits that thought of youre still not communicating any ideas properly with a person. sorry lol)

#egg.txt #do you ever write a post and hypothetical people appear in your mind i dont mean the argumentative type this time i just #i know theres like at least a 0.7% of the tumblr population who would attempt to explain exactly how well they understood capitalism is a #child (which is not the point of anything but if they cant talk about themselves and their own story they'll die) #sorry thats completely off base #guys in my head are evil

[lucemferto]

You know, I've been reading a lot of discourse on the Dream SMP's failures and I want to throw some thoughts at a bigger brain than my own to see if they're any good.

I think the SMP's main issue, the fundamental flaw which has caused the downward spiral of narrative quality is not actually anything to do with the narrative - it's that the narrative is suffering from poor world building and conveyance, which is in some way endemic to the medium of minecraft streams.

See, the problem is that unlike some other video-game based story, like Red VS Blue*, the DSMP doesn't have much of an assumed lore that can be taken from the game medium. RvB is essentially a Halo AU, so stuff like the Aliens showing up is explained by the intertextual knowledge the viewer can apply from the Halo games. But that doesn't exist for Minecraft, so the CC's have to put in the work themselves and they didn't.

*I know RVB is very different to DSMP (although I'd argue Quackity's lore streams are getting close to it) but ignore that.

So because there's little to no base lore, and the CCs didn't expand upon the worldbuilding early on, it means HUGE parts of the world have no concrete truth in the Dream SMP. Take Death for example. The idea of permanent death was just... not a thing. Not until Schlatt died. At Tubbo's execution, sure it was shocking, but it wasn't like he'd actually die - there was no understanding it was possible! Same for the independence war, Eret's betrayal, Tommy and Dream's duel, etc. Permanent Death only comes when Schlatt, and subsequently Wilbur, kick the bucket.

So Wilbur and Schlatt are DEAD dead. Okay, that's something that apparently can happen. But then Wilbur goes on reddit and responds to a question about 3 canon lives, says he likes it, and BAM! Now the SMP has an official canon, and death has stakes! But it retroactively gives much more narrative weight that didn't exist and wasn't intended to so many events!

Not to mention, there's still no concrete basis for what makes a death "canon". Why you get three. There's an afterlife and a goddess of death and totems of undying and immortals, not to mention minecraft's default Zombies, Skeletons, and oh what's that? Ghostbur? Cool, what the fuck is this worlds metaphysics anyway. Coherent worldbuilding? Nah, who needs it.

Death is one huge, glaring example. But the DSMP crew hasn't given enough thought to so MANY aspects of the world these characters are in and it kneecaps the narrative. You can't tell a good story in a setting that doesn't have established rules because how do we have anything resembling reasonable cause and effect if the rules of the universe are basically set out on a whim.

We don't understand their economy - businesses exist and presumably generate profit somehow? See: BigInnit Hotel, Tommy monetising Church Prime. But how does this mesh with villagers and stuff?

Countries can exist, sure, but none of them seem to have concrete laws or anything that actually... makes them countries. Your anarchist syndicate doesn't work as a plot line when there's functionally zero difference between "guys being dudes" and a country except what they call themselves. L'manberg had no clear legal system, no currency, no actual mechanism for the president to exert power - the entire reason Wilbur called the election is no one doing what he said!

Which brings me to L'manberg's elections... over 200 thousand people voted. Who are they, canonically? Citizens of L'manberg who have no representation on the server? Are they the fucking mobs? Is the Canon explanation that L'manberg's elections were online and people in a far off continent voted?

I can't wait to see how they handle the End. It will most likely be a train wreck.

My ultimate point is that the narrative would benefit an awful lot if the creators sat down and hashed out the details of their world. It might even let them weave some themes and story elements into the world, which they can later pull from instead of their asses.

Yeah, the problem is that the Dream SMP is kinda at a crossroads in terms of what it wants to be.

Does it want to tell a serious (or, rather, non-farcical) story within this Minecraft-world they created or do they want to do more casual rp? Because with casual rp that does not necessarily care about story consistency or prioritizes the viewing experience over the playing experience a world with consistent rules and traditional storytelling and worldbuilding might seem too restrictive.

Back in Season 1 that wasn't too much of a problem, because - in spite of how well told it all was - they still had a fairly simple story and skewed pretty heavily and obviously towards the casual rp, "this isn't a serious story we're trying to tell"-vibe.

Even Wilbur's descent - probably the darkest part of the story - carried itself with much more grandeur and theatricality when compared to Tommy's exile and Dream's torture.

But the fact of the matter is that Dream SMP-content has attracted a considerable number of fans specifically interested in the storytelling and narrative. People like Quackity, Karl and Dream play to those preferences by dialing up the sincerity of their storytelling, by reducing the metafiction, just generally treating the story more like a story being told to an audience and less like friends having fun.

If they want to push the storytelling of the Dream SMP, I definitely think that heeding what you said would probably be a good call. Because now they're in this weird twilight zone, where it's not casual enough to succeed with wacky improv-bits, but also not consistent and intentional enough to tell a story that matches their aspirations.

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmpblr #dreamsmp #dream smp analysis #dsmp analysis

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

hi there! i figured i would send you an ask since from browsing your blog, you seem to be a pretty cool person to talk to and rather knowledgeable.

i’ve been having this problem where i don’t really know what i’m experiencing — body dysphoria or gender dysphoria. i’ve been identifying as non-binary for several years, and although sometimes i don’t mind presenting/being perceived as my agab, i have days where if someone refers to me as it, i feel my skin crawl and honestly detest it. i also feel no connection to my agab and what i’m supposed to be like according to it, and i also don’t feel a strong connection to the “opposite” gender.

ive been fine with the nb label for a while. it felt like the right fit. i have some degree of dysphoria for sure and i’m in an awkward middle where neither of the binary genders feel right for me. but as i entered the bi/pan discourse space (as a bi person who doesn’t have a preference for either gender, and was fucking tired of pannies), i found a lot of battleaxe bis were also either opposed to nb ppl or said they didn’t get it. this got to me. i don’t want to hinder binary trans people because they already have it hard. but i don’t feel like i belong in this binary.

and it’s not some sort of like, hatred of cis people either. i don’t think cis people inherently suck or are inferior or anything. i wouldn’t hate myself if i were cis. i don’t want to be « special » by not being cis. i’d be fine with being cis if it felt right to say « i am [agab] » but most of the time it doesn’t.

is that gender dysphoria? or am i projecting something onto it? i can’t think of anything. i’m very happy with being bisexual and i have no problem with either binary trans people or cis people. i do have very strong body dysmorphia, though. i don’t know. i don’t want to be a nuisance to other trans people, too. i thought you could have helpful insight, and if not you, someone who follows you might.

have a great day, thank you for your time 💕

I'd definitely sit down and try to dissect where your feelings are coming from. Some questions to ask yourself:

-what stereotypes are tied to my agab?

-how much do I fit those stereotypes?

-what stereotypes are tied to the oppose gender as my agab? How much do I fit those?

-am I somewhere in the middle of those stereotypes?

-when someone refers to me as my agab on those days where my skin crawls, what was I doing? Was I dressed more feminine or masculine? Was it tied to something with stereotypes (Ex:"Oh you're good a sewing. You'll make a great wife one day." Or "I need a strong man to help me carry this")? Or was it just... No real pattern? They just referred to me as my agab and it made me feel bad.

-how do I feel about the physical sex characterists of my agab?

-lets image myself as the opposite gender... How does having those physical sex characterists sound?

-lets imagine myself as completely non binary physically. No sex characterists at all. None. Let's imagine myself going throughout my normal day. Thoughts? How about doing bedroom stuff (if you're into that)? Thoughts in that?

-if I had a button that would make me the opposite gender or 100% non binary but I had no control over how I looked (you could end up with any body shape, any health issue, any height, etc. Would I press it? How much thought would I need to put into deciding?

If you're issues fall more into line with the PHYSICAL characteristics of gender then I'd say I'd keep looking into your issue being a gender one. Especially with that last question. If you answered yes then you're probably on the right track with having gender dysphoria. But I'm not a therapist.

On the other hand. If your issues are more about gender stereotypes, then I'd say you're looking more towards body dysmorphia. With HEAVY influence from gender roles and stereotypes making you feel ashamed of who you are. But again, I'm not a therapist.

Unfortunately being gender non conforming comes with a lot of backlash. Especially in certain areas. It's tough. Especially when people expect and want you to act a certain way that's... Just not you. I'd suggest finding a good therapist (you might have to try a few if they aren't giving you what you need). And talk about how your feeling. Where the dysphoria/dysmorphia is stemming from. Is it the physical body or is it gender roles? That'll help point you in the right direction. From there, it's your personal journey of discovery. And I wish you luck on it.

#ask #answered #not discourse

[kara-is-a-cutie]

@imlilrayofsunshine tagged me a few days ago to answer these questions and Im finally getting around to it now lol

1. What do you prefer to be called?

Kara mainly, my full/real name is Karolin, but I like Kara better. Friends and mutuals get the pass to call me honey/hun/hon and my partner can call me most things except princess and sexy.

2. When's your birthday?

May 23rd! In another 21 days I'll be 21!

3. Where do you live?

Cold Sweden.

4. 3 things you're doing right now?

Nursing a hangover, chilling in bed, answering these questions.

5. 4 fandoms that have piqued your interest?

I tend to stey the fuck out of any and all fandoms. Too much drama and discourse, I don't have the energy nor time.

6. How's the pandemic been treating you?

It's been a bit up and down. Mental health has struggled due to being stuck alone in an apartment most of the time, school is struggling since online learning sucks. The few friends I have are great which helps.

I also kinda ended up breaking up with mr California (Micah, we broke up due to growing distant, won't go into it more than that) and soon after got together with Ree from New Orleans (yes I have a thing for the American men) who before that point had become a very close friend and confidante.

So I would say it's really been a mixed bag.

7. A song you can't stop listening to?

Kiss Me More - Doja Cat ft SZA.

I Do - Cardi B ft SZA.

8. Recommend a movie?

So my all time fave movie is The Diary of a Teenage Girl which is about a 15-year old Minnie Goetz's sexual awakening and exploration of sexuality while she ends up in an affair with her mother's boyfriend. It's kinda fucked up, but really good and everyone involved in scenography, costume, light, animation and colour grading did a fantastic job, the film looks incredible.

I would also like to recommend the shows Lovecraft Country and the Nevers.

Lovecraft Country is about Tic, Leti and their families in the 1950s as they get wrapped up in a racist cult that Tic has blood ties to. Magic, horror, violence, a lot of emotional moments, mystery and racism (main characters are black).

The Nevers are a steampunky show around the people called the touched who three years prior woke up with magical powers. You follow mrs Amalia True and miss Penance Adair as they realise they have a mission that might change the world.

9. How old are you?

20, almost 21.

10. School, University or employment?

I'm a college student, but I work in a grocery store during the summers.

11. So you prefer to be hot or cold?

Hmmmm... this is a difficult one. I don't like the cold, but hot isn't fun either. I like being warm.

12. A fact that others may not know about you?

I find the feeling of my skin touching itself, especially if it's hairy, extremely uncomfortable. It's one of the textures I struggle with due to my ADHD. I don't mind skin to skin contect with other people though.

13. Are you shy?

Can't say I am, too blunt to be shy. I have strong social anxiety though.

14. Pronouns?

She/her please and thank you!

15. Biggest pet peeve?

When people are being hypocrites.

16. Rate your life from 1-10?

Maybe like a 6 or 7? Not where I'd like to be, but it ain't bad.

17. What's your main blog?

This one.

18. List all your side blogs?

@kara-on-the-side is my can't be horny on main blog.

@karas-archive is where I put posts I don't wanna lose, like recipes and such.

@kara-youngblood-reloaded is a backup blog, not a side blog that's connected to a separate email incase I lose this one.

19. Is there anything people should know about you before becoming friends with you?

I tend to have periods of time where I just wanna be alone. Its got nothing to do with you, I just need to be alone.

I tag @lafilledavant @nephrrite @botanical-being @kittysmashh @kinell @may-main @hoelog and @monikalewinskyy

#tag game #tagged #kara rambles