#i'm autistic i understand what i'm on about here

[arotaro]

I love voidpunk but I’m also curious about if there are any guidelines or rules, like what things are allowed and what things aren’t? /genq sorry if you’ve answered this before or answered something similar and I missed it I’m not super pro at finding stuff 😭 also double sorry if it’s an offensive question to ask. I’m genuinely not trying to offend you I’m just trying to learn more and since I’m kind of a baby queer I want to make sure the words I use fit me.

You can check the voidpunk tag on my blog, since I have talked about it before, but I'll go over some quick points:

There is no "requirement" for participating in voidpunk. Anyone who tells you "oh, only such-and-such group can be voidpunk" or anything along those lines is lying. HOWEVER:

The "punk" part of voidpunk is not there for no reason. It is tied to the punk subculture and it's best to have a general understanding of this subculture before participating in voidpunk. Also, voidpunk is specifically a reaction to dehumanization, and it's important to understand that certain people experience this more than others. People of color get dehumanized. Disabled people get dehumanized. People with personality disorders get dehumanized. Trans people get dehumanized. Aspecs get dehumanized. etc. etc. We are here to call attention to and take power away from this, not to be niceys about it. I left the voidpunk subreddit and its associated Discord server because it was full of entitled white cunts who acted like they couldn't possibly be racist because they were autistic or some shit and I was being sooooo mean and disruptive for asking them not to be blatantly racist, and I just want to make it clear that if this had been a real life social group and not an online space, I would have knocked their teeth out. Understand? That said, you don't have to be every oppressed minority ever to participate in voidpunk- you just have to be respectful and willing to listen.

One misconception I see very often is that voidpunk is some sort of personal identity along the lines of otherkin, etc. This is not true. Voidpunk is an aesthetic and philosophy, NOT about genuinely believing yourself to be inhuman. There certainly may be people who identify as both voidpunk and otherkin, or what have you, and that's fine! That's cool! I love those people. But they're not synonymous and should not be treated as such. You don't assume I'm really a vampire because I'm goth, right?

Also, the "void" part of voidpunk doesn't really mean anything. Genuinely, it was chosen because it sounds cool. I think another misconception I see sometimes is that voidpunk specifically is about like, literal voids or shadows or black holes or space or something, which is not true. It's kinda whatever. There are as many flavors of voidpunk as there are blue guys in the X-Men.

Have fun!

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi, I know it's been a while but it's allo (autistic? unsure what tag to use) anon here again. I just wanted to say congratulations on the project! I showed it to my girlfriend and she was really happy, when it comes out we will definitely read it together. I am proud to see you doing new and exciting things, and I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors! You're doing amazing already and I look forward to seeing you continue on whatever path you want to take with your creative work :)

Sorry I didn't message again sooner, things in real life have been... a lot. I still try to check this blog when I can. Your art is still adorable, and I also wanted to say thank you for your comics about fandom and the stuff that people say to aro/ace people. As someone who is very invested in media analysis(TM) and fandoms, I have noticed some behaviour that is really weird and uncomfortable, and it's good to see other people speaking out about it.

Also, not to decenter your experience, but the comic about labels really hit home for me. When I first got diagnosed it explained so much about my struggles and why I felt the way I did. It was groundbreaking to understand that I wasn't just a broken person or full of character flaws, but that things like sensory issues were just part of being who I am. I don't know if you meant it this way, but I really love the yellow colour of the thought bubbles and the little flowers. I know some people say it's pathologizing or too restrictive to cling to labels so much, but it really is a relief to be given something that helps you understand yourself and feel so much less alone. I am glad you were able to find your identity and community. It's so cool that now you get to make those posts, and probably reach others!

I just wanted to pop in again and say I love your stuff, and it's so cool to see other people loving and engaging with it too. I hope you have a wonderful day/night, passe une bonne journée/nuit <3

P. S. I hope that's how you say it, I'm using google translate.

Heyyyy!!^^ Thank you so much for reaching out again and for all the encouragement and support! I hope you and your girlfriend are doing OK^^ And please don't apologize for not reaching out for a while, I'm happy whenever you do at all but it's very fair to have a lot going on otherwise! If anything I hope things are a bit easier now, so to speak.

Also don't worry about decentering my experience by sharing yours when you relate! I'm a big believer in intersectional discussion, I think people from marginalised groups could benefit a great deal from standing together to defend common interests, and if we can relate to each other's experiences in some way even just a little, although we know and acknowledge they're all different, I'm sure we can go a long way. So I sincerely appreciate you sharing, honestly!! (I'm also really grateful you liked the way I graphically conveyed it, that is a challenge in and of itself^^)

Again, thank you so much for all the positive feedback and support, and thanks for taking the time to add some French in as well, very kind of you^^

Hope you have a great day ahead!

#allo anon #asexuality #autism #intersectional #thank you so much

[daemonhxckergrrl]

hot take: trying things you've had adverse reactions to in the past (including full-on sensory-related meltdowns) to see if you may enjoy it now is good, actually. how you processed Bad Texture 10 years ago may be different to how you do now. or it may not. but the only way to know is to try.

#daemon.md #this might get me cancelled lmao #i'm autistic i understand what i'm on about here #hated mushrooms as a kid #like i had a real intense reaction to trying them #slimy and rubbery and they look weird and the gills were freaky #and after that i found out one time that one dinner had them snuck in chopped up real small so i wouldn't notice #and i didn't notice #but when i found out i was screaming #crying #retching #on the floor #and wouldn't let up #idk how long for #but a While #then i never had them for like 15 years #refused to #no matter how many times i was offered them #in so many ways #but i tried one fried a few years ago #and tried a tiny bit of a raw one #and didn't hate them #and now i've come to love them and put them in so many things #but i hate them grilled or baked #only fried or like in a sauce #mushrooms cooked in an oven are still Bad Texture #blegh

[shimmerluna]

YRTS: Sara I

view context and the rest of the series here!

Is Sara "ungrateful," or is she tired of being treated like a child by both her mother and her little brother when she's trying to move on from the way she was bullied?

I see why they might've been more protective of her while she was at Marieberg, but she's clearly growing up and trying to move on and gain autonomy/independence, and they won't stop treating her like she can't take care of herself. That wasn't necessarily the issue she was having, though; the problem was that people didn't like her as a person and bullied her because of how they perceived her, not that she was actually incompetent in any way. Now that she doesn't have to deal with bullying, she's doing much better, and it might feel like her family is holding her back in the Marieberg times with their helicoptering.

#shimmer's thoughts #young royals #sara eriksson #linda eriksson #simon eriksson #yrts #this is mostly focused on s1 btw. i stopped paying attention to the fandom in s1 mostly #ppl are still calling her ungrateful but i don't think that's true. i think she's an adult. and her family treats her #1) badly in general and 2) like she's still 10 or smth. so it's pretty reasonable that she doesn't like that imo #does she go about dealing with that in the wrong way? idk. maybe. but that's not what i'm talking about here #for the record i am also autistic. which isn't to say 'maybe i'm just autistic and don't get this' #what i'm saying is bc i'm autistic in a similar way to her i think i understand her pretty well. better than most people #for the bits i've watched while paying enough attention to her arc at least #also i think i could have more complex thoughts on this esp after a rewatch but this is one of my theories for now #i have many theories. sara is a really fun character #but these are some preliminary thoughts. and i don't really think i'll strongly disagree with this after i rewatch

[front-facing-pokemon]

#manectric #i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk #but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric #el woowoo‚ if you will #a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day #so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday #hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years #looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow #which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations #for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA #plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory #overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me #so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little #worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY #this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains #that's about it #any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar #places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it #also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking #about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours

[notjanine]

spent the summer prepping for and taking the worst exam of my life, riding out the lease at the worst place i've ever lived,* then being temporarily kinda homeless,** and getting dozens and dozens of job applications rejected. i had some fun in there, but my anxiety has been through the fucking roof on top of my regular summer depression.

then the last two weeks of august happened 😳

everything happens so much. somehow, i managed to find the perfect apartment for a reasonable rent, and now me and Books are living (together!) in a fantastic and charming new home- lots of space, big kitchen table, a balcony facing undeveloped woods, just off one of the major roads in the city that has my favorite grocery store and our favorite sandwich shop (where we were already regulars). plus, i've gotten not one, not two, but three (three!) job offers- and i can take them all!!! one is with a hospital where i did my favorite internship rotation, and i'm so excited that i get to go back there and get paid to do that job, it was a blast. another is right by my new place and it's similar to the other hospital, but it's slightly bigger and sees more complex cases, so i'll be comfortable and confident, but i'll still get some new, specific clinical experience in areas that i'm interested in.

and the third position is... literally my dream job. it's the job that's been the end goal since the moment i chose my field of study. grad school and the internship made me rethink all of my professional goals and push them back, thinking i wouldn't be able to get to them for so long because i'd need ~more experience~. but now i'm. uh. i did it. i did it??!

the two hospital jobs are just part time, but they both pay well. the other won't start for a few months bc my boss*** has to get insurance approval to add me to her private practice,**** but that's okay, because i have a lot of reading and learning i want to do in the meantime to prepare! and then it will start as part time working up to full time as i build up my case load, but i'll also get to decide my own hours and do some work from home. i'll get to work with my favorite kinds of patients! and i'll get fantastic professional development opportunities for specialization, if i want to. the other dietitians in the practice seem lovely, so i'm excited to work with them. and the pay is realllly good, gosh, for being fresh out of the internship, it's nuts.

so things will pick up as i go through orientation and onboarding for the two hospital jobs next month. but it'll get calmer again after that, so i'll have the time and energy to prepare for the more challenging work that starts later, which is really nice.

and in the meantime, i'll be tending the wee garden on my balcony and playing board games with the love of my life 💗

#* all of my windows faced a wall. the walls were so thin i heard a neighbor yawn once #my air conditioner literally broke ten (10) times in three months. they just stopped fixing it. i just didn't have ac. in june. in texas. #** like i was fine i stayed in an airbnb for a week and then with Books which was not ideal bc they were in a 200 sq ft studio but hey #*** this woman is... something else. she was also one of my preceptors during my internship #on my first day with her we went over the assignments i had the option to do and one of them was about my main terrible chronic illness #and i mentioned oh yeah i am very familiar with that bc i have it. and this woman. was EXCITED #like she was interested in and valued my perspective as a sick person. which is wild #also that was my last rotation and i got really sick during that time. i had a flare up and didn't finish any of my assignments on time!! #bc of that illness! which she is now familiar w bc i did an assignment about it! and yet. and yet #SHE reached out to ME months later to be like. hey i have this position open if you want to apply here's the link :) #and then i had to interview with her and she did not pull any punches it was the longest interview i've had and she asked killer questions #and at one point she asked the question. what do YOU bring to this profession w YOUR perspective. and i just... #i said fuck it i went for it i answered honestly and said i'm autistic and autistic ppl understand each other in ways nts don't #(but like. framed intelligently w references to published research and good resources) #and you have autistic clients already and you will have more in the future bc all of us are weird about food! #and. she hired me. this woman knows i am 1. physically disabled and 2. autistic #and she hired me anyway. scream. remarkable woman. i want to know more about her. #and i don't want her to regret her decision so i gotta be on the ball! #**** it's private practice but the boss the one whose practice it is she's on a soft maternity leave so she's not seeing clients rn #so she's managing the practice. and on top of that there's also one woman who's job is just admin and insurance and billing etc #so after i finish the onboarding paperwork (almost done already) i won't have like... any more boring paperwork #it's a private practice job and i don't have to worry about billing which is the nightmare everyone dreads. incredible INCREDIBLE #ANYWAY gosh. it's all a lot! but good! #oh AND it's Books' birthday next week!!!!! we're gonna go out with their family one night then with their friends then just us #and i know exactly what i'm gonna wear (a tiny slutty dress) and i just got their gift (which i know they'll like) so everything is so !!!

[swordsonnet]

.

#ive tried multiple times to write down my thoughts on this but my brain is just too scattered and it comes out all jumbled #but here's another attempt i guess #so yeah ive read the medium article about rusty quill. i'm absolutely gutted. #i suppose it's not super surprising but still. i hadnt expected it to be this bad #ive never really cared about rq as a company tbh but i do care about tma! a lot! #its been my special interest for almost 2 years now and if you're not autistic #(or hell maybe even if you are autistic - everyone experiences autism differently ofc) #i dont think you understand what that means. its not just a show i like. its like a part of my identity #its helped me through some really tough times and i can't begin to describe how happy it made me #when a continuation was announced just as i was once again going through some bullshit #i really want to still be excited about tmp because it really is so important to me #and tbh i dont think there's anything wrong with still enjoying tma/tmp? you can like sth and still be critical of the company behind it #and tma was written and created by jonny and not alex so i do sorta see it as its own thing and not just sth made by rq #but i keep seeing people on here acting like you have to boycott tmp (or even tma) now and that just makes me really upset #ill cancel my patreon and withdraw my kickstarter pledge and all #because i dont want to financially support rq unless they make some significant changes and commit to them #but i still want to engage with my special interest! need to really because thats just the way my brain works #and sticking to fandom content wont work for me because a lot of tma fandom stuff just... isnt my cup of tea #i'll take it as an addition to canon but not as a replacement #maybe i should just stop listening to what other people say #but its really difficult to deal with all this negativity about sth that means so much to me #might take a break from tumblr for a while for the sake of my mental health #i feel silly for being so upset about this but it is what it is #sometimes i do wish i had a different brain #anyway sorry for the rant #if you read this far: i love you. have some flowers 🌼🌻🌺🌹🌸🌷💐

[grenriv]

I wish I didn't feel so violently alienated from my own religion sometimes. like I really do believe in what I believe in and I want to have a better and deeper relationship with God and I would like to build relationships with other christians and then whenever I hear other people talking about doctrine/scripture/God it just feels. so cold to me. or even just the way they act in general. it's very hard to explain but it always sounds like they're reading from a script instead of voicing genuine thoughts and feelings and it makes me feel like there's a barrier between me and them or I'm doing something horribly wrong, even if at the root of it I do agree with what's being said

#vent #talking to absolutely no one here I mean. I just made this blog #primarily for shouting into the void about things I'm unwilling to say elsewhere #part of this may also be because I'm autistic but even aside from that church talk feels awfully clinical sometimes #maybe it's just my scrupulosity/trauma talking but I never seem to feel at home anywhere and I often wonder if that's #just how it's meant to feel. I'm afraid of that I think #I want to feel human. I want to feel warm. I'm scared that I'm not allowed to but also I think thats the devil talking #but what if it isn't and I'm just doing something wrong or there's something wrong with me (hi scrupulosity) etc. #I want to keep my faith but I feel so estranged from both religious and secular people at all times and it's like. #neither of you understand or can/will speak to me in a way that makes me feel safe. ok #deep down I feel like I'm just a human body possessed by an incredibly skittish non denom prey animal #I don't really know if I just need to find people like me or if there are people like me or if I just need to get over it somehow? #if that makes any sense #I fucking hate anxiety days. constantly feeling convicted for no reason at all. and I was doing so well yesterday too

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#a little bit of a happy rant... (can rants be happy? if not i don't know the word then lol) #a while ago when i was deep diving into autism research because i'm 98% sure i'm autistic #i told my mom this and i also told her i wanted to go see a psychiatrist to get diagnosed #bad idea cause my mom is the type of person who thinks ''everyone is a little autistic'' which is stupid but anyways she didn't believe me #she thinks putting labels on things is bad and we shouldn't do it #but this is not a fun label... this is an actual diagnosis!! #i digress. the point is that i stoped talking about it because i don't have the energy or desire to try to convince my mother #that i know what goes on inside my brain. #but my brother! My brother is a sweetheart #he seems like he doesn't give a shit about anything but every now and then he will drop the cutest most affirming comments #(he did that when i came out as trans too) #i'm sure my brother has adhd if not autism or possibly both so maybe he has looked it up before or at least understands it better #but like for christmas he wanted to get me a weighted blanket because i'm always talking about how i need preassure and weight on me #and also that i like rocking myself to sleep (i need one of those automatic rocking chairs for babies but like adult size) #anyways he aknowledges (let's pretend i can spell that word) what i said and my suspicions of autism #today the noise of a tiny bit of air escaping from a badly close bottle lid was annoying me #i wasn't in the room i may add #when i complained my mom was like ''damn! that hearing!'' or somthing like that #and my brother. very casually said ''it's the autism'' which made me so fucking happy that is the first time someone fucking believes me! #but then my mom went ''naaah there's no autism here'' (or somthing amongst those lines) which took my excitement aways #but anyways i love my brother and his casual support <3 #angel talks #personal

[yardsards]

somewhat recently found out that my habit of clinging to a trusted extroverted/outgoing friend like an orphaned duckling in social situations is straightup a trait of autistic masking and stuff has been making A LOT of sense since then

#eliot posts #like??? #i can track all of my high school friends back to one girl that took me under her wing and i clung to and befriended her friends #all of my *close* online friends can be traced back to my one cousin who i have been good friends with since we were young #and sometimes i meet someone else to cling to from the original person #in high school the baton got passed from that girl to a guy i still consider to be one of my besties #and w my online friends i no longer cling to one person specifically but that's more just how online group chats are set up #but god like. i have NO close friends in college #i have acquaintances #and ppl have told me i seem friendly and kind and approachable and i have learned so many scripts for polite small talk #but i don't know what to do after that part! #and then like online i don't have close friends outside of one or two branching circles #i have some mutuals on here that i think we're maybe friends but i'm not sure and it doesn't feel like CLOSE close friendship? #like no one i feel comfortable approaching out of nowhere and talking about my day to #i don't understand how so many people talk about having made close friendships through fandom #it seems cool i just. ????????? #and on that note i have no clue when to consider people friends! if it's too soon i come off as clingy if it's too late i come off as mean #and what social actions are appropriate to initiate at what levels of friendship??? #why is socialization so fucking hard??? #it's SLIGHTLY easier w other autistics but even then it is fucking DIFFICULT #though that's all moot cuz i can barely convince my shitbrain to message the friends i DO have #but like ugh i wish i could make some irl friends SO BAD #to go out and do shit with #i mean i do a lot of typically 'social' activities alone and have a blast not having to deal with anyone else #but some shit you just kinda need someone else there to have fun

[calcescarp]

CROCHET IS SO HARD SKDJSKSJDKS

#THIS IS MY 3RD TIME IN MY LIFE TRYING TO LEARN THIS SKDJSKDNSNDSKDHSKDHDKS #i'm bad at counting!!!!!!! i don't understand words correctly ever!!!!!!!!!! whether i'm looking at videos or written instructions i just #never know what i'm doing sdsknxsnskdjdks #like i've watched like 5 different videos!!!!! 5 of them!!!! #none of them have made me feel like i know what i'm doing. #i'm so CONFUSED #they always say 'okay now yarn oved and push through the next stitch it's going to look like a v' #and i'm like okay well! i'm seeing 2 different things here that could be the next v! #it is genuinely so frustrating for me because their words never match up to what i'm seeing????? #maybe i should just watch these videos with no audio. #ugggejhdsjhdsjjsdhsj i've crocheted like 10 rows tonight and i've unraveled 8 of them because i was doing it wrong #i feel stupid!!!!!!!! why don't i know which v they're talking about!!!!!!!!!!! why do i never know which one is the 3rd stitch down!!!!!!! #edit: watching crochet videos in slow motion without audio does not help. they do not telegraph their next move at all. i am lost. i am so #like i just feel stupid #like i JUST. feel like an idiot for not understanding. i'm just gonna keep crocheting rows until i figure it out by trial and error tbh #like i am just. i know i'm not actually stupid. that i'm just autistic and have trouble with what i consider 'vague' language #but it's really disheartening #i just wanna make cute hats and sweaters

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I know I reblogged my own gifset of that scene and praised it at length a few days ago but I’ve gotta say it again, that scene with Henrik and Maja in theatre in S15E42 when Henrik is talking about being jealous of the amnesiac patient - “I think there’s a certain appeal in being a blank canvas. Gives one the opportunity for reinvention.” - is still the best media depiction of an autistic adult struggling with social cues I’ve seen.

Because it’s a realistic social error an autistic adult would make! It’s not the “autistic character acts like they’ve just walked out of a lab fully-grown” trope (looking at you, Jason, and especially that scene where Holby tried to imply Jason wouldn’t know what a marriage proposal is after he literally got married himself...), it’s not the “You said it’s raining cats and dogs but there are no animals falling from the sky??” kind of Autistic Character Social Mistake, but nor is it the “autistic character actually totally knows the things they’re saying are rude but they just don’t care” trope. You can see Henrik’s guilt when Maja is freaked out by what he said and responds “but not everyone wants to erase their past, Henrik”. It’s so well done, and it’s a portrayal of autistic social issues that isn’t treated as “uwu quirky rude comments we can all laugh at”. I adore it. One of my favourite scenes in all of Holby.

#this post inspired by the fact that i saw someone ranting about how it was ''unrealistic'' for an autistic character in some show to #not understand social cues #(the person ranting was allistic. i have seen multiple actual autistic people say this character is good rep) #because ''it's a stereotype!! it's ableist!! real autistic people learn social cues by adulthood!!'' #and i'm just here as an autistic adult with very poor grasp on social cues like... lol ok then?? #i've said it before and i'll say it again #when allistic people complain about ''autism stereotypes'' what they ACTUALLY mean is ''i don't want autistic characters to act autistic'' #like they were literally like ''SOME autistic people struggle with social cues but they learn them by adulthood!!'' #some?? what do you mean some?? not getting social cues is literally part of the diagnostic criteria lmao

[emiliosandozsequence]

marking the parts my dumb ass doesn’t understand bc i’m autistic

#idk if it's bc i'm autistic or i'm just actually stupid #but i'm hoping i'll figure out what everything i've ever been confused about with this book means when i finish it again #emilio annotates the sparrow #it's just a few lines here and there #but still; i'd like to understand it #emilio.txt

[cannedsoupcansoup]

I can't be the only person out there who actually doesn't like the normalisation of neurodivergent terms in broader Internet culture... Like, no, actually, don't respond with "it's the autism" when I do something, three years ago that would be abelist, now it's a cute joke????

#And the excuse is always that they're also autistic and like self-diagnosis is OK if you actually do it correctly and get more opinions but #Just watching a tiktok and being like “me fr” is not the same #And like it's also the “here's something to be hyperfixated about” #Girlie that's not what hyperfixation is #And just going 'that's/they're so autistic' is also the same #I feel like people are just using it as an excuse to make fun of me #Because everytime I interact with other autistic people we only ever say we're autistic when we meet and understand why we speak like that #Like most people don't just go “it's the autism” or “I'm so autistic” and when a random person or a new friend does it to you it's odd #Anyways #actually autistic #Adhd #Autism #Actually adhd #tumblr #Rant

[birdofmay]

And again, as always: It would be nice if you guys could stop making this about yourselves. Whenever we post about our particular experience, people who normally can speak, but used to struggle with it, or struggle under certain circumstances, add on something to talk about themselves. This eventually leads to people talking about something completely different, and ignoring what the post was about at first. Make your own post. We are constantly spoken over even in online spaces, and that's especially unfair because we struggle to communicate even more than other autistics. Don't derail posts about people who never learned to speak from the very beginning and won't learn it ever. That's unfair.

Sometimes I see people on here who want to be good allies to nonverbal autistics, but at the same time don't understand nonverbal autism at its core.

Most of us, who are nonverbal "from birth", struggle with language, to communicate, and to understand complex concepts. That's why we never learned to speak at all, ever.

But their strategy is to "hand us the mic" and ask "What are some misconceptions about nonverbal autism you'd like to discuss?" and expect us to respond.

"Misconceptions" is an abstract concept. Most of us can't just come up with an answer; my mind, for example, goes completely blank when I read this.

I wanted to talk about allies assuming that our brain works similar for at least 2 weeks, but it's only now that I am able to write something. 2 weeks!

Sure, there are autistics who can't speak due to apraxia, and who don't struggle with language otherwise, apart from the "not being able to speak with their mouth" part. But that's rare.

Even my ability to express myself well is rare. I am not your average nonverbal autistic. I am very skilled compared to the rest of us.

One thing about "never learning to speak" is that most of us really really struggle with language, and with understanding big words and topics. Not everyone, but many of us. That's why most of us aren't on social media.

Whenever I write "educational" posts, my inbox is flooded with follow up questions I just can't answer without help. Because most of the time I don't understand the text. I regularly have to close my inbox because people assume that I can process the text and respond like everyone else can. But having these abilities is an exception within autistics who never learned to speak from the very beginning. It seems normal, but those people just are the loudest. Because they're on social media and love to participate in discussions.

Most of us can't do that.

I'm glad that I made some speaking friends here who made an effort to understand us thoroughly, and they now often repeat what we think and want "but louder". Listen to them, most of us can't advocate for ourselves. They're not speaking over us, they're helping us to communicate without draining our energy.

And for everything else I have some posts linked in my pinned post because I can't just participate in discussions.

#long post

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Someone requested some advice on whether to openly tell people you are mentally ill/neurodivergent/invisibly disabled or not.

There's some research that suggests that, for example, autistic people are more likely to identify as lgbt+ than their non-autistic peers - so this is absolutely a topic that belongs on a lgbt+ blog and I'm sure there are a lot of you who had to make that decision (and probably keep having to make it as coming-outs of any sort are rarely one-and-done!).

In fact, I had/have to make that decision myself! As an autistic person with depression and anxiety, I could tell you now why I personally decided to be open about all those diagnoses - but the right decision for me isn't necessarily the right decision for you as my life isn't yours.

So, what I'll do instead is to write down a general list with (potential) pros and cons, and I encourage you to nitpick it. Personalize it, take some time to decide how much, if at all, each point weighs in your own decision. There's no right or wrong answer here. It's all about your highly individual situation, about your safety and comfort.

Reasons not to be open about it:

It may put you at risk for various sorts of hate, discrimination, negative stigma and bad treatment

It may put a burden on you to educate others and discuss any misconceptions or myths they believe in, including potentially hurtful or disstressing ones (maybe even fruitlessly so which may cause frustrations or fights)

It may change the way people treat you, even in well-meant ways (babying you, pitying you, trying to "help" against your wishes etc.)

It may feel like a loss of privacy, make you feel "naked" or emotionally vulnerable, make you worry more about the way others perceive you etc.

Reasons to be open about it:

It may help others understand you or your behavior better, which may have positive effects on your relationships

It may allow you to ask for support and help more easily (either from friends and loved ones or in the workplace, school etc.)

It may make you feel empowered and help you accept/love yourself as a disabled person more

It may contribute to making your specific diagnosis more visible in society (which may also make you feel pride in breaking down stereotypes and supporting your community)

It may discourage people from assigning wrong or hurtful labels to you (either armchair-diagnosing you or labeling you as weird, crazy, lazy, gross etc.)

It's important to keep in mind that some people do not have the option to make this decision for themselves, for example because they have highly visible symptoms or they are in a position where their caretakers make the decision for them. This adds another layer to why we can't judge one decision as better or worse than the other - it's not always their own decision.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+