#i'm getting angry sad and frustrated

[we-fucked-up-evolution]

hey neurotypicals, how do you tell you best friend "i know you have a life and all but i noticed you keep putting off things related to me or suggestions i make which you've agreed would help you, and i'm assuming you're not doing it on purpose but it's still really hurtful and i'm reaching the end of my rope regarding my patience with you? and as some point i might blow up with pent up frustration and then you'll get mad at me and not understand why i'm upset and i'll cry and you'll be more careful for a couple weeks and it'll start all over again"

#sorry i just need to vent to myself for a minute #i'm getting angry sad and frustrated #i've sent him multiple jobs applications to help him get out of the service industry which he's been wanting to do for years #he's not sent a single CV #i became a D&D DM partly because he wanted to play and now he keeps putting off important little things he's gotta to for next session #last night he had to pick a circle for his druid #and he sat there painting his nails and scrolling his phone while i was reading the descriptions out loud from the book #this morning i asked him to pick some creatures to wildshape into #his response screamed “i'm saying i'll do it and then pretend i forgot and give you a half-assed apology about being busy” #this man and i have been soulmates for over six years but i'm so lost in this relationship rn #i feel like i do everything for him and he doesn't care #and he does nothing for me

[fisheito]

collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo. #says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking #my immediate thought was #i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him #bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent #but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally #it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched.... #so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti. #configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying #the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias #then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought #i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him #AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND #originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went #WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN #BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing. #plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS #but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it #i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding #so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown #i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said #yakuya #nu carnival yakumo #nu carnival kuya

[steakout-05]

i might get some hate for this depending on where this post goes but i think lesboys are so valid and the discourse about them is so ridiculous. like you guys shouldn't have to deal with all that and it frustrates me that people throw hissy fits over an identity that literally does not affect them at all.

"but men cant be lesbians-" wrong. butch lesbians and trans men have a really closely connected history with each other that practically intersects and you should really do some research on that before you make blanket statements, not to mention that gender and sexuality is weird and wobbly and fluid and a very personal experience. it means a different thing to each person. being a man can be something completely different and saying stuff like this ignores people like demiboys, demigirls, genderfluid and genderflux people etc. these people will really preach "demolish the gender binary!! love is love!!" until someone's relationship with gender and sexuality is a little too freaky for them to handle and be challenged by lmaoo

"ohhh but what about the cishet men who say they're lesbians to prey on women-" YEAH WHAT ABOUT THEM????? THIS AIN'T ABOUT THEM BRO!!!!! this argument also REEKS of terfy "trans women are just predatory men!!!111!!1" rhetoric and it grosses me out. yeah some men are gross and do try to pull this but that does not negate someone's entire identity completely just because of a few bad actors, you know that right? actual black and white behaviour.

queer discourse is silly and i don't know why it's a thing. just let people exist. it isn't that hard. we have worse things to worry about than whether someone calls themselves a lesboy or not. i think we need to unplug our ears and yank our heads out of the sand and remember that the queer community is what it is because of our unique and amazing diversity. arguing over labels like school children isn't gonna help that. damn.

#also this should be obvious but terfs fuck off go explode you are not welcome here this is a terf UNsafe space #terfs fuck off #terfs dni #terfs eat shit #terfs explode #this post is really random but i'm actually quite compelled and interested in queer discourse even though i think it's stupid and silly. #i'm compelled by how angry other people get over literally nothing and ironically i end up discovering some new identities and developing a #-newfound love for the diversity of our community #like i could be reading some shitty post about an identity i don't know about and all i would be thinking is ''that exists? thats so cool!' #and then i end up ignoring the bad post and research the identity and think ''man i love how queer we all are'' #exclus people seem really sad. like im not saying this to be mean i genuinely think they seem really frustrated by everything. #where's the joy in limiting your support and policing people around all day. where's the fun and growth in that. where's the learning. #i obviously cannot change people's minds but if i could then i'd make sure no one falls into the trap of being an exclusionist because that #-sounds like it really sucks. #going full hippie mode in the tags lol #i'd rather be a hippie than make allies with terfs #anyway lesboys are cool gender is an illusion buy gold bye

[fenharael]

The next 5 days are going to suck incredible ass but it will only be 5 days and then I'll be home

#when life pelts lemons at your head repeatedly #I was supposed to have fun with my friends this week :| #but now thousands of people are dying and my uncle is dead and I have to fly out of town and I have to make a last min work presentation #and AI bullshit is continuing to creep into my workplace and all these people got fired and I'm starting a higher dose of prozac and #I'm depressed and tired and frustrated and sad and angry and and and and and ans ajsnansndnsjskwjwkdksjaaaasssaaaaaahhhhhhh #I just don't care anymore I'm tired #I'm just really tired and depressed and I'm tired of trying to be positive and happy and not make people worried and not be a burden #yeah I have a therapist and I'm working on it #I'm just tired and stressed out and I have to walk my mom through her trauma and all I want is to stay home #I'm not trying to get attention and I'm fine I just need to vent bc I can't sleep

[blanketforcas]

.

#is there anyone else who hates the fact that they are ace/aro/on that spectrum? #like all i see is people being indifferent or happy about it and i'm just like. sometimes it'll frustrate me so bad and i'll get so angry #at myself/the way things are idek #and it's not (just) internalised acephobia (i think) #but i just get so sad sometimes #that i can't just turn on the lights so to speak #that i can't go 'yes this person! tyvm let all the feelings in now' #idk. if you relate at all pls comment/anon/dm #tw acephobia

[howdoyousleep3]

today has been the hardest day of my new mom life 😭💔

#personal #my beans tag #i broke down and cried while feeding a bean #they just randomly switched up nap times on me and were screaming and crying at the same time and wouldn't sleep #all the go-to things weren't helping #and i hate when i get angry at them because it isn't fair to them so then i'm double frustrated #i'm so not used to this new mom thing #and when i get to this point i just think of all the reasons i have to be sad that i've ignored for three months now #damn i need to reach out to that therapist lol #Husband brought me home a treatsie though that's nice

[kinnbig]

I haven't really been posting about the Build & Poi situation for my own sanity, but I do want to talk, quickly, about a couple of things.

I’m posting this for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because despite having said very, very little about this whole thing, I know that I've been marked as an "anti" and added to blocklists of people who are supposedly “hostile”; not just towards Build but also towards other people on this site who they disagree with; and I wanted to clear that up a bit. Secondly, because when Poi first spoke up I made a few posts talking about it, but I’ve been relatively quiet since. I don’t want anyone to think that I’ve ‘gone silent’ on the issue now. 

I’m not a particularly big blog. I don’t have a huge number of followers. But the number of anons I’ve received about this situation and the things I’ve heard are being said about me are unprecedented and honestly really overwhelming, and so I just wanted to make sure I’d said what I wanted to say.

Firstly, regardless of my opinion on Build - I want to emphasise that I have never been hostile or aggressive towards anyone else in regards to this situation (or at all!). I haven't been involved in hate campaigns, in spreading misinformation, or in targeting or gossiping about or sending hate to "pro-Build" accounts or to Build himself.

When Poi first spoke up, I expressed disagreement with those whose initial reaction was to immediately jump to Build's defence and accuse her of lying. I posted that Poi deserved to be believed, regardless of anyone's individual dislike of her as a person. I also mentioned that I thought responses of "I told you so" from people who had always disliked Build were unhelpful.

I have never said anything about people who chose to refrain from making judgement, who wanted to wait for more information, or who didn't have anything to say at all. 

Although I had my personal views, I also had nothing but sympathy and understanding for people who couldn't or didn't want to make judgments right away. I had been a big fan of Build's, but I had never been a 'stan', and I completely recognised how much more painful and emotional it must have been for those who were bigger fans than I was.

My only “disagreement” was with those responding to a woman accusing a man they liked of abuse by attacking her, and with those who responded almost gleefully to abuse allegations because they proved them right (though again, I didn't reference or argue with or mention any individuals in either case).

But I know that this has been enough to have me considered a "hostile Build anti". I know that there are many different blocklists circulating, and multiple different accounts and group chats and servers where people are talking about and being nasty about me and the other people on these lists.

I don’t want to get into this too much (lest I actually earn my label as hostile!), but it’s frankly terrifying that all it took for me to be branded as aggressive was posting that I believed Poi and that I disagreed with people attacking her. I was horrified that people would immediately jump to defend a man accused of abuse (not just saying they were waiting for more information, but defending him and immediately insisting the accusations must be lies), and the idea that this was considered some kind of radical stance for me to take is just… disgusting, honestly. 

It really, really upset me. Even if rationally, I’m aware that of all the blocklists to be on, the "didn't immediately jump to the defence of a man accused of abuse" blocklists are probably some of the better ones - it’s really fucked with me to see so many people in this fandom, including people I cared about and considered friends, responding in this way. 

It’s also very frustrating to know that a lot of the blogs publicly purporting themselves as “neutral” are very much not neutral, and are involved in spreading this “anyone who believed Poi is a radical, aggressive Build anti” narrative. 

I’m not singling out any individual person or blocklist or anything here. I’ve heard about many. But since I know these lists and conversations exist, but not exactly what is being said and to whom, I did just want to clarify that.

Secondly, I’m seeing a lot of passive aggressive “the antis are being incredibly silent about this…” or “where are all the highly moral justice seeking kp fans now?!” posts, and so no one can accuse me of suddenly going silent about this, I also wanted to mention my actual current position on this situation.

I am still not supporting Build.

I want to be clear, though, that I am not "pro-Poi". I have never been a fan of hers, and so she has never been able to "lose" my support.

I don't know if she was also toxic, if she said or did XYZ, if this piece of this phone-call proves this or that. I don't know! Nobody outside the situation does!

But unless there is some kind of irrefutable proof that the text message screenshots Poi posted - where she sent Build photos of her bruises, Build told her he didn't regret giving her them, and that he wanted to kill her - are 100% fabricated, then I cannot and will not support him.

Regardless of whether or not Poi was also a bad person.

Additionally, even in the (incredibly unlikely, imo) event that these messages turn out to have been fabricated, I would stand by my initial response to the situation. I will not apologise for believing someone who speaks about abuse, and for disagreeing with the people that immediately accused her of lying. 

Because even if in this case it turns out to not be the truth - the next time someone comes forward about a celebrity, it will be. And the next time. And the next time. There will always be devoted stans of celebrities determined to pick apart women’s stories and insist that they’re lying - and 99% of the time, they will be attacking a victim to defend someone violent. 

Finally - I’m sad. I don’t know how else to say this. I’m really, really sad about this whole situation. This whole thing has been incredibly emotionally exhausting. Hearing about it is painful, talking about it is painful, it’s all fucking awful and I’m a mess, honestly. It’s a horrific situation in itself, and then on top of it all I’m devastated about losing friends over it, losing a community over it. 

I know that I can come across quite detached (I’m sure this post reads like an essay rather than a text post on tumblr.com) but it’s my way of coping with it and feeling in control about what I say and how I express my emotions. It doesn’t mean I’m actually clinically distant or cold or not emotional or anything. I just don’t know how else to talk about it.

And I am happy to talk about it - but I’m not going to respond to anons about this situation anymore. If you want to talk about this, please feel free to DM me or send me an ask off-anon. But this isn’t something I can talk about with people who aren’t willing to put their names to what they’re saying.

I hope that makes sense.

#edit: tumblr keeps deleting the end of this post #sorry if it cuts off randomly?! #or if anything repeats because i tried to add it again?! #it should end with 'i hope that makes sense' and if it doesn't tumblr has eaten my post :( SAD #idk man i'm struggling a lot with all of this #i'm not a particularly big blog i'm not expecting this to get a response or any attention #i'm not being like 'ooh tumblr user kinnbig makes a statement!' #there was just some stuff i wanted to say #i'm having a really really hard time with this whole thing #especially with the friends i've lost because of it #it's awful and it's shitty and i'm sad and angry and frustrated #anyway #so much love to everyone also struggling rn 💖 #darcey.txt #abuse mention

[safeandsound]

.

#yeah i know they're not the actual people to be angry at and i know who the real enemy is but #can't help but feel a little resentment to the people who have been to like 3 or more eras shows #and will still be trying to get tickets to the few added us dates when they drop #yeah you deserve to have fun and see the show you love and yeah i recognize that and want it for you on some level #but i'm also just like. already frustrated and sad and angry and yknow those two feelings/sides can coexist #this is brought to you by me not wanting to be so brave about any of it i just want to scream

[stardustedknuckles]

I'm glad trans support group exists but if I'm going to go then I'm going to require that we also have nights where we meet up to do literally anything but pass around despair with the occasional "I started hormones." Like not only do I not relate to binary trans worries about passing, therefore leaving me unable to do anything but worry for their safety, there is absolutely no catharsis to showing up once a week to everyone's despair and bleak attempts at humor. Can we go bowling. Can we go for a damn walk and talk about cool rocks.

It sucks because there's this community of people that I actually can't stand hanging around because we only ever meet to talk about explicitly trans things and idk if you've noticed, but it ain't great out there. Being trans is intrinsic to my life experience just like it is for most of us, but of all the things that are going weird in my life, being trans ain't one of them. I'm pretty comfy with myself and I don't actually like most of the people in group but I have genuinely no idea whether it's because of them or because we literally only meet with the intent and expectation to bring up hard shit. And yeah we go to a restaurant after and I'm sure for some folks that helps them decompress but for me it's just going to a loud and chaotic space where we can't hear each other talking and it's very late and I'm exhausted from group and it's worse, not better.

I want to be around other trans folks. I just want to do literally anything but talk about how hard transness is. I need this to be sponsored by the equality center because again, I've built up a negative feeling towards the group as a whole because I only know their damage. I need to get to know them and be able to be friends with them without exhaustion before I start inviting people places - plus we're all poor anyway.

So frustrating to have this much potential with a group of people and to be left halfway resenting what could be a cool bunch of friends because we never get to talk about the other 85% of who we are and the things that make us happy that we could connect with. I've heard this is common in support group type meetings. I just don't know what to do about it.

#This is a vent post #I'm just sad because I don't like group or most of the people in it #And that is explicitly because the whole point of showing up is to be sad and angry and broken about trans stuff #Which is like #The one area of my life I'm not fucking sad about and derive joy from #I get to feeling like I'm not being trans correctly or that I don't have the real experience #And I end up leaving group tired and frustrated and carrying everyone else's fear and struggle #Can we just play some Mario kart for the love of god

[coulsonlives]

.

#my friend and i broke up #she's still on w the whole 'i have this' malingering and attention seeking behaviour and i tried to be sympathetic but she shut me out #her parents apparently even let her see a psychiatrist (that shit's expensive) and she did but she got a different dx now she's mad #and she doesn't want to see a counsellor. i sent her resources for what she (thought) she had and she won't even look at em #she said it's 'big psychiatry' so she didn't trust it?? i wish i was making this up #the links i sent weren't even affiliated with any doctors or psychiatrists!! #they were literally support links and pages from a reputable site for people with this disorder and pages that helped confirm if you had it #SHE REFUSED TO LOOK AT ANYTHING #SHE ONLY WANTED TO SEE THINGS THAT REINFORCED HER DELUSION #heLLO YOU YOURSELF WANTED TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN BC YOU GOT THE WRONG ANSWER ITS A NO?? #i feel like i'm going to be sick i feel horrible #i'm angry and hurt and frustrated and i don't know how to help her outta this so i feel like a useless pos #i'm so done?? done done done #the sad thing is i can't even tell 100 percent if she's actually sure she has something based on super wrong symptoms or #if she's intentionally faking #i just went thru and blocked a lot of blogs too.. #because i'm starting to notice a LOT of this on tumblr too and it jumps out like a sore thumb now esp in certain communities #idk if i have it in me to see all these people in the same exact boat whether it's intentional or they actually don't get what's goin on #i'm not using certain community/label tags in my posts anymore and taking em out of my previous posts #mental health cw #rant #vent #tbd #malingering cw #munchausen cw

[loveofastarvingdog]

>:|

#you're telling me i'm angry about [redacted]. sad about no kissies and no snow. and anxious about school on time... #and on TOP of that i don't even get to make fun little smoke rings rn??????? no smoke rings???????? ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️💨 ???????????????????? #tw emoji #i can't become a smoker (does vape count as. smoking?).. i am too young....... and Yet the smoke rings call to me...... #ask to tag >:| #<- not angry just frustrated at myself for having a Night Of It #timothy's txts.

[fourfuckinghorsemen]

I hope this works.

#Not that I even know what I'm trying to achieve with this. #I think I just want an outlet. #But I don't know. #Things are bad. #They get better. And then they just get worse again. #And I don't know how to make it stop. #I'm trying to follow deer's advice. I hope it helps. #But I don't know if it will. #I'm not even sad I'm just angry. #Or frustrated? #I don't fucking know. #Emotions are bullshit. #I hate them. #I'm tired of it all. #I hope tomorrow is better. #Tua rp #Tua rp blog #Five Vents

[yuribalisms]

promise this is my last time bitching about all of this ignore it but

#really truly and genuinely just don't want to exist right now every time i think this situation cannot get worse it somehow manages to #i just cried at the dmv and the lady just glared at me like i was the scum of the earth like maam i don't even cry around people #i trust i don't *want* to be crying right now i'm *sorry* okay i just don't know what to do i got given the wrong forms and papers and i #tried explaining all of that and she just looked at me like i was an *idiot* and wouldn't help me with *anything* it was so humiliating #i can't drive the temporary car until it has plates because if i get pulled over for that it's a $500 fine and if i get hit with that on top #of everything else i literally don't know what i'll do i'll probably end up losing my license #but if i can't drive the car i can't go to work and i also can't afford to not go to work right now #i literally feel sick all the time i can't sleep the last few times i've tried to eat anything i feel like throwing it up #and i just feel... so hopeless right now everything i'm trying isn't working or i think i'm getting somewhere and i hit another wall #and one of the most upsetting parts is i feel like no one is helping me and no one cares how hard i'm struggling right now #i literally just want to be allowed to be upset over this but when i got visibly upset at home everyone accused me of taking my frustrations #out on them and being self pitying and 'it could always be worse' #like i don't even know at this point but if i hear the words 'could always be worse' one more time i'm going to maul the person who says the #no one wants me to be upset that's too much to deal with i am *never* allowed to be upset i just want to vent about how shitty this is and #scream and cry at the unfairness of it for a little bit but literally *no one* is letting me do that #'it could always be worse so stop complaining' or if i am visibly upset at all all that matters is it's inconveniencing or upsetting to the #other person.... not that i'm struggling or need help or anything like that #i just want it to be OVER i want it to end i'm so sick of this every time i feel like i'm scraping to somewhere managable in life #something like this happens and this is the scariest and most upsetting thing yet #and i'm not even allowed to be frustrated or upset or sad or angry because then someone else is upset and that matters more than me #so it all built up and a cried at the dmv and every one stared at me like i was annoying and stupid and i want to KILL MYSELF #i want to melt into the ground i want to stop existing i don't want a single person to talk to me because i hate everything right now #but i also desperately want to actually say all of this to a person and them not get mad at me for and tell me it IS unfair it DOES suck and #i didn't deserve this shitty thing that happened or all the other shitty things that happened beforehand #i would also appreciate just pretending it wasn't a thing for a few hours and doing something enjoyable to me with a friend or two... #but that also feels far fetched and then i would feel guilty for not trying to fix this 24/7 even though at this point there's literally #nothing else i could do #i'm just.... so tired and so SO upset and i feel like nobody cares that i'm upset and i'm so sick of EVERYTHING #i'm tired of living

[riverofrainbows]

I wish i had been healthy when studying and done this properly. It's absolute hell trying to pick up the pieces for my big exam thats coming up, all the lectures I've never been to, all the exams the most i was able to study for was half assed so i still don't know the subject properly, the study notes and lecture notes that i never properly sorted after i got home and still fly around, almost impossible to decipher now. I had a chance to rewatch some of the lectures that were recorded for covid, but today for some reason I've been thrown out of the website again, and I haven't gotten even halfway through yet.

I've been going through all my study materials trying to sort them and prepare for the exam, and found subjects i have no memory of taking, meticulous flashcards i have no memory of making (nor of their content). I see mountains and mountains of evidence how bad i was doing all these years, and how much i tried despite, still.

And it makes me so sad, so Fucking sad. I am grieving all the time i struggled so hard and tried and tried my best, and it was a jangled mess i am trying to pick up now.

And i am angry because it's so much harder trying to study with no or lacking lecture notes, having to dig through the mess instead of just taking it out of a folder. It was hard then, and suffering back then still makes life harder for me now.

#own post #disability #grief #anger #i am doing better now not perfect but better and i think of all the lost potential too #i could have been very good ngl but instead i was struggling and kept failing tests and getting through with just the required points #and it makes me so angry because i do find it interesting and i can be brilliant at what interests me. remembering tiny details #i could have shone so bright but instead its all just struggling and then reliving that struggle while trying to pick up the damn pieces #and it makes me so sad for past me (who I can't even really remember) because he tried so hard and put in to much energy #like the amount of energy i used to have while severely ill is another thing because I don't have it anymore #i am doing better so i do have more energy available and it also takes less but i cannot imagine ever doing that again while suffering #i don't have the reserve anymore to do things while suffering. i used it all up #its all gone and when i look back its still Still such a mess #it makes me think 'and for what' because what am i even supposed to do with that #i used it all up just to survive and get by #all my reserve energy all of it #and when other look at it at what i achieved all they see is a failure. and i try not to do the same bc i was there i know why #but sometimes it does feel like that. sometimes it just frustrates me so much #I've gotten out of the depths of the severe burnout i was in after the last semester a few weeks ago and it's a lot to process #now that I'm not actively in survival mode anymore in active fight or flight over doing anything uni related #and i start to process all those emotions #i am proud of paar me and i feel so sorry for him #and for me

[achingroses]

hey guys i've had two of the worst days ever. anyway uhhhhhhhhhhhh look at this sick cat.

#i don't even know how to express it in words i'm so tired #i've spent like the entire day crying I CRIED AT WORK jesus christ #i just needed to vent a little cause really #jesus fucking christ #i've written and rewritten these tags so many times cause i'm so sad and angry and frustrated #i feel hurt in a way i haven't felt for in so long #i feel so numb and yet i feel a profound sadness #special shoutout to my mom and my ray of sunshine @ user heartwig #love u both so much <3 #thanks for keeping me sane today <3 #back to the anger and the sadness and the drama of it all #idk i feel so many things none of them good #also my stomach is A MESS so that's gonna be super fun to deal with later! #can i just get some peace and quiet for just a little fucking bit jesus christ i'm not asking for a lot

[omarfor-orchestra]

Nice now I get to feel this anger in my body

#the legs #no jk the stomach #anyway #I'm angry #furious #disappointed #sad #frustrated #the good thing is now i can name these emotions #the bad thing is i was not supposed to be mad i was supposed to be excited #but as i was saying just a few months ago this group is shit and it kept it on #and I don't know what else to do and now it's too late and I'm so fucking mad #and now I'm about to cry #i hate them #that's lack of respect #for me and for the teacher and the whole school #point is what am i 5? that I'll go to her and say I'm the only one who's doing something here i promise i care and i wanna so good #because so what? #we're a fucking group #if i work and no one else does the thing will not come out good #i used to get mad at kids in high school for the same reasons but guess what. they're not kids #they're adults #jesus fucking christ