Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.
Chapter seventeen ⭐︎ What am I supposed to do? If there’s no you.
Warnings: slight angst, mentions of unrequited love, mean!robin, slight jealousy, this chapter is mostly written from Robin's pov and there are only a few moments of Steve's and Blondie's pov
Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Summary: Robin uncovers Steve's secrets and more... but he doesn't get the reactions from her that he expected.
Word count: 6k+
Author's note: @hellfire--cult and I came up with some new ideas for the story and uh, buckle up and enjoy it... hehehe also thanks for helping me, my love
Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter
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Steve’s smile seems permanent nowadays, never falling, always lingering, even when Keith is scolding him about something he had done wrong or hadn’t done at all.
His skin is glowing and his eyes are full of happy emotions, he seems giddy, always excited about something.
Until now, Robin was sure that she had seen him happy before – when he saw her again after she went on a two weeks trip with her mom, when his favorite movie came out and he dragged her to the theater, when he found the perfect brown coat that he had been looking for at every store for weeks.
And yes, he was happy in these moments, but this, the happiness that is stuck on his face now, is something else, something different, something deep.
And whatever it is that is making him happy, should make her feel the same way, because he is her best friend, and all that she wants for him is exactly this – happiness. But how can she feel any positive emotions, when he is keeping secrets from her? When he isn’t letting her be part of this? When he is cutting her out?
Robin was always sure that they would never keep secrets from each other, but it’s happening, it’s happening again for her, being pushed aside, being left out, losing a best friend – because this is what it is, right? She is losing him, he is beginning to cut her out of his life, not telling her things he would’ve normally not shut up about, because he talks about everything with her, at least he used to.
This is how it always begins, this is always the first step of losing a friend. She is no stranger to it.
But it hurts, it hurts worse than it ever did before.
Because this is Steve, someone she considers a soulmate.
Someone she thought would never do this to her.
“What’s with the grumpy face?” Steve asks, pulling her out of her depressing thoughts.
Robin raises her eyebrows, looking away from the passing trees, she sinks deeper into the passenger seat and turns her head to look at him, shrugging.
“Is everything okay?” Steve asks as he glances at her with a look of concern.
No.
She should say no and confront him but she doesn’t know how without making things awkward, without pressuring him to talk, without risking losing him sooner than later.
“Yeah,” she mumbles and reaches for the backpack between her feet, busying herself with it as she rummages through the tiny pockets to find her chapstick.
“Are you sure?”
She can’t help but roll her eyes at the skeptic tone in his voice, she keeps her head low, gaze locking onto the chapstick she has been looking for, she picks it out and leans back again.
“Yeah, just tired,” she murmurs.
Steve keeps glancing back and forth between her and the road, holding the steering wheel tightly as he shoots her a teasing smirk, lowering the volume of the song playing.
“Long night with Vickie?”
Her lips twitch and despite the annoyance bubbling inside of her, her cheeks heat up, growing darker until she’s blushing red. She applies her chapstick, welcoming the peach taste on her lips. She can feel his eyes on her, and it only makes her blush deeper as she hides her face from him.
It confirms his question and it makes him chuckle.
“I’m glad you’re having fun, Robin.”
“Shut up,” she murmurs under her breath, unable to fight the redness off her cheeks. She closes the chapstick again, putting the cap back into place, she leans down to put it back in her backpack when it falls from her hands and rolls under the seat, making her groan and curse in annoyance.
“Always turning into a klutz when you’re nervous,” Steve comments, causing her to glare at him.
“I’m not nervous.”
Steve chuckles, narrowing his eyes at her, “yes you are, I mention Vickie and you’re turning into a blushing, nervous little girl with a first crush even though she is literally your girlfriend.”
“That is so not true!” She gapes at him, despite it being true.
He shakes his head in amusement, “yes it is, in case you forgot, you’re my best friend, I know you like the back of my hand and right now, you’re nervous!”
Maybe his words should put her mind at ease, maybe they should be enough to show her that she is not losing him, after all, but it’s not that easy, is it?
She only rolls her eyes in response and looks away, turning back to the window and looking out at the downtown streets now. She feels relieved to see the Family Video sign, looking forward to jumping out of his car and throwing herself into work so she can stop thinking about her depressing thoughts and giving into the fears of losing him.
Maybe she is just overthinking, the way she always does.
The moment Steve stops the car, Robin gets out and slams the door, opening the one to the backseat so she can look for her chapstick. She leans down and squints her eyes, patting the car mats before she stretches her arm out under the seat, trying to find it.
Steve walks around the car and stops in front of her, his eyes flash with amusement as he takes in the sight of his best friend, her eyebrows squished together, tongue poking out between her lips, her body angled uncomfortably as she searches for her newest chapstick.
“I swear to god is there a portal all my chapsticks vanish to?” She grumbles.
Steve snorts at her words, “yeah, I’m sure they all pile up in the upside down somewhere.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised! Every time I buy a new chapstick it just fucking disappears!”
“That’s because you leave them everywhere,” Steve chuckles, placing his hands on his hips as he keeps watching instead of helping. His grin grows when she throws the middle finger at him.
The look of concentration on Robin’s face, transforms into something else, confusion and curiosity, her brows shoot up instead, her lips parting as she reaches for not only her chapstick but also something else, something soft, something lacy. She pulls it out from under the seat, hooking it around her pointer finger, she holds it up in front of her face, examining it before revealing it to Steve.
A lacy thong.
One that clearly belongs to a girl.
One that surely wasn’t there a few weeks back when she helped him clean his car.
So her suspicions weren’t right, after all – she would’ve been surprised if they were.
Steve has been so secretive about whoever it is that he is seeing, she knows that they don’t belong to any of the girls he was hooking up with at the beginning of this year, and she doesn’t even need to see his face to confirm something she already knows.
But if it isn’t one of them and if it isn’t a guy after all, who is he seeing?
Is it someone he is ashamed of?
Is that the reason why he is being so secretive, why he keeps sneaking around behind her back and not telling her the truth about something he wouldn’t have shut up about if it were anyone else?
“Robin?”
Steve’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts and she slowly turns around to face him, with the thong in one hand and her chapstick in the other.
His hands fall off his hips, his hazel eyes grow wide, his lips part and his cheeks grow a cherry red when he sees the flimsy material hanging off her finger.
For a moment, she forgets about his secrets and how much it hurts her that he is hiding from her. The look on his face is so comical, she can’t even help but let the giggles tumble from her lips as she raises back to full height, standing right in front of him as she laughs in his face.
His cheeks grow redder and redder, making her laugh harder.
“I-I uh–” Steve stutters, unable to come up with words to say.
“I-I uh,” Robin mocks him through her giggles, “whose are these?” She asks as she lets them dangle in front of his face, stretching her arm out.
Steve rolls his eyes at her, his blush continuing to grow beneath her gaze. His shoulders slump and his mind panics as he tries to think of what to say.
What can he say?
That these belong to Heidi or Linda or whoever else it was that he had boring sex with before you?
Steve can’t even bring himself to lie, not even to save himself and you.
He can’t mention another girl, just uttering these words would make him feel awful. He can’t do it. He just can’t.
“Hm?” Robin tilts her head, wiggling her brows at him.
As he stands in front of her and he looks into her curious eyes that are layered with something more, he can’t help but wonder what would happen if he just told her. He wants to talk about it, he wants to talk about you, he wants to talk about his feelings that he could only keep to himself so far.
But what would Robin think knowing how horrible he was to you? How horrible you have both been to each other?
She would try to talk some sense into him and make him stop this thing between you and he isn’t ready to let this go, he will never be.
So he turns around and leaves her question unanswered, knowing that she won’t stop until she gets the truth out of him and it makes him nervous but what can he do?
He doesn’t see the way her shoulders slump, the way her eyes cross with defeat, the way she sighs and looks down.
“Come on, we got more important things to do then talk about thongs, Robin.”
“Right,” she murmurs as her teasing smile slowly falls, she throws the black lace back into the car and slams the door before she follows him into the store, staring at his back as she walks behind him.
Steve greets Keith a little kinder than usual, he walks with his back straight and his head held high, he whistles as he makes his way into the office to clock in and she stays quiet, watching closely, observing him and the fresh hickeys on his neck, the ones that haven’t been there yesterday afternoon when he dropped her off at Vickie’s. It’s always the same exact spot, sometimes his neck is littered in them but there is always that one special spot that never misses the mark on his skin, that little spot behind his ear.
That’s how she knows that it’s only one girl that he is seeing and she is also the reason why he is turning down all the others that have been shooting their sickly sweet smiles at him. Something he wouldn’t have done a few months back.
“Are you bringing Vickie tonight?” Steve asks as he throws on his vest, “to game night, I mean?”
Robin furrows her brows, looking over her shoulder at him, “game night? I figured we’d never do that again after what happened with you and uh… Blondie,” she chuckles nervously.
Something in his eyes shifts, something in his demeanor changes for a moment. Sadness, anger and regret crosses his features and she sees it all so clearly but she isn’t surprised, she didn’t mean to strike a nerve but she knows she did.
He felt awful after the words he threw at you, that night.
And knowing him, he still feels the same even when you get along now.
But there is something else in his eyes, something she can’t figure out yet.
Steve breaks eye contact and he scratches the back of his neck as he keeps his eyes trained on the ground.
“I uh, yeah that will never happen again.”
She doesn’t quite understand the meaning his words hold.
And at that time, she also doesn’t know yet, that only a few hours later, she will finally get closer to the answers she has been seeking, that her eyes will be more open to what is happening right in front of her nose.
Because that night, she notices something she hasn’t paid much attention to before but a feeling inside of her, tells her that she should have done that a long time ago.
And maybe, maybe she is just seeing things that aren’t there, that her eyes betray her and want to give her something just so she can put her mind to rest but even after rubbing her eyes, even after squinting and trying to see with a clear mind, the sight in front of her is still there and very much real.
The noises from the living room, the chatter of her friends and the giggles of her girlfriend as Dustin tells her a story, fade into distance as she steps closer and closer to the kitchen where Steve had disappeared to, moments after you have left the living room to get another drink.
You’re standing by the window, face to face and way too close for two people who couldn’t even be near each other, a few months ago. A smile is resting on your face, matching his own.
Steve leans closer to you, whispering words that Robin can’t make out from this distance and it annoys her to no end because she wants to know what he said to you, what exactly made you giggle in a way she never heard you do.
This is strange, this is so very strange – it shouldn’t be, and maybe she wouldn’t even think anything of it had you not been fighting all the time not too long ago, because after all, you two could be just friends who are gossiping about something, the hushed whispers and the amused giggles indicate it at least.
But you aren’t friends, are you?
You are still just Steve and Blondie, forced to be around each other because of your mutual friends, forced to get along to keep the peace.
But maybe things are changing, maybe you are actually getting along now and not because of her or Eddie or even the teens, maybe you are just becoming friends, actual friends.
This is the only explanation to what she is seeing.
Anything else would just be… unbelievable.
And still, she decides to keep a closer eye on Steve and you.
Her suspicions and thoughts she deemed as ‘crazy’ become less and less crazy as time passes and she continues to pay attention to you both, how you talk to each other, how you act around each other, how you look at each other, how Steve behaves when he is around you.
It’s so obvious and it’s so right in front of everyone’s faces and still, she doubts that her suspicions hold any meaning, too insane are the thoughts in her head.
But then the signs start showing – from the pink scrunchie in his car, to the cherry chapstick on his nightstand and the second toothbrush in his bathroom, from the perfume that always lingers on his clothes to the cologne on yours, from the moments you are both not around to the lies he speaks into the phone when she asks why he didn’t come to movie night at Eddie’s place.
And as she grows more aware of his weird behavior and yours, she also notices that there is someone else who is acting differently – Eddie.
She notices the way he looks at you and Steve, the way the latter is getting warning glances and glares, the way you are getting soft ones filled with pity and it confirms it all to her.
You are Steve’s mystery girl.
Eddie knows, why can’t she know?
Does Steve feel embarrassed about you and your shared history of hatred?
Questions keep piling up in her brain and instead of confronting her best friend about it all, she keeps it all to herself, hoping that she won’t have to confront him at all, hoping for him to tell her about it all when he feels comfortable to, hoping that nothing changed between them, that she is still his best friend, that he will still talk to her.
But her wishes don’t come true, Steve doesn’t make the first move, he continues on with the secrets and the lies, he doesn’t notice the implies that she makes when she asks him what he is doing on evenings he isn’t with her and the group, or the way she subtly begins to mention you.
She doesn’t even need the confirmation anymore as days continue to pass, she figures it out on her own, she knows for sure now, her suspicions are no longer… suspicions. And yet, a certain moment, a certain sight that plays right in front of her, still shocks her.
In Hopper’s backyard is where you all find yourselves on a warm Saturday evening, the chatter is loud and the laughter echoes through the garden. The smell of freshly cut grass lingers in the air, as does the smell of sizzling meat from the grill.
Eddie brought Wayne with him, the older man chuckling at his nephew as he watches him stuffing his face with burgers, continuously complimenting Hopper’s ‘cooking’ skills to which the latter laughs.
Robin snorts at Eddie, she can’t tell whether he’s high or just really hungry but the faded look in his eyes gives him away, she blames Argyle for that.
“You should try his waffles!” El grins at Eddie, “Hop makes the best ones!”
“You mean the waffles he pops in the toaster?” Jonathan snorts beside her, making his stepdad chuckle.
“I mean, he puts a lot of stuff on them, it’s really good! Reeses pieces, sprinkles, heavy cream–”
“Ew,” Mike scrunches his nose, shaking his head at his girlfriend, “that’s too much.”
“Says the boy who puts maple syrup on his scrambled eggs,” Nancy laughs at her brother.
“Of course he does, Mike has the worst taste,” Dustin snickers before he takes a bite of his steak. “He also loves raisin cookies!”
“What’s wrong with raisin cookies?” Hopper asks mid chew, furrowing his brows at the teenage boy.
“Do not insult his raisin cookies,” Joyce points with a fork at Dustin, an amused smile appearing on her face.
“Oh,” Dustin frowns at the former chief, “you don’t have taste either, damn.”
While everyone watches the interaction between Dustin and Hopper, amused by the teenage boy and his harmless insults as his conversation with the older man continues. Robin nearly misses the whispers between you and Steve, the smile on your face as you say something to him that she can’t read on your lips.
You sit next to each other, very closely so.
It’s the same seats you sat in when Hopper and Joyce announced their engagement here, only this time, neither of you seems tense, you’re both relaxed, your features are soft, your smiles are real, your arms are touching and you aren’t avoiding each other the way you once did.
The pink scrunchie is in your hair, your lips are rosy red, from the cherry chapstick no doubt. Your eyes are glinting with happiness and it seems like a rare sight to Robin – she has seen you smile before, sure, but she had never seen you happy.
While she paid extremely close attention to her best friend, she didn’t really look closely at you, maybe she should have before.
She watches the way you push your plate away, leaving a few bites that you can’t seem to finish, you reach for your drink and lean back in your seat, placing your hand on your stomach.
Robin chews on her veggies, tilting her head as she tries to not make her staring too obvious but it’s difficult to look away from the both of you, especially when Steve does something that makes her eyes widen and her brows furrow in confusion.
If there is something that Steve always hated, then it was eating leftovers from someone else, he wouldn’t even share a drink or bite into something someone else had bitten into before and yet here he is eating the food you didn’t finish, eating the steak from your plate and you don’t even seem fazed by it, it’s almost as though it’s the most normal thing for you both, like this isn’t weird.
And she isn’t the only one who is staring in surprise, Eddie is looking at Steve with his big brown eyes.
Neither of you seem to notice and everyone else is too busy watching Dustin bicker with Hopper to notice her and Eddie’s wide eyes or the very couply behavior from you both.
One look under the table after accidentally dropping her napkin to the ground gives her the final confirmation when her eyes fall on Steve’s hand on your thigh and yours covering his own, your fingers playing with his.
Oh. Oh.
Maybe this should make her feel more surprised than it does, but really, the sight of Steve eating food from your plate nearly knocked her off her chair.
She is confused, so very confused and lost.
And more questions than ever before start running through her mind, nearly giving her a whiplash because it’s just too many at once and she doesn’t know how to deal with them, how to keep them to herself, they are starting to boil over and it prompts her to make a decision.
She’s had enough of his lies and his secrets.
She never kept anything from him, he never kept anything from her until this, until you. The sight of you suddenly fills her with anger, something she hadn’t felt before, especially not when it came to you.
You are the reason why her best friend is slipping through her fingers, why isn’t spending time with her the way he did before, why he isn’t talking to her.
And despite the growing rage you’re firing up inside of her, she can’t look away from you, watching how you whisper into his ear, watching the way you laugh with Eddie and Wayne, the way you help Joyce clean up and chat with Nancy, the way you hug El and Will goodbye and Max too before she hops on the back of Lucas’s bike and leaves with him and Dustin.
She almost wants to scoff when you get in the backseat of Steve’s car instead of the passenger seat that clearly belongs to you now, you leave your scrunchies here and your lipgloss apparently too as she looks down into the cupholder, rolling her eyes at the tiny bottle.
The sound of your laughter makes her eyes roll more intensely. Eddie jumps in beside you, neither of you are aware of the scowl on her face.
Steve notices though, but he doesn’t bring it up, not wanting to make her uncomfortable by asking any questions she might not want to answer in front of you and Eddie. She won’t even look at him, her eyes are glued on her rings as her fingers tap against her jean clad thighs, her jaw is clenched and he can practically feel the tension in her shoulders.
And it doesn’t go away, not even when he turns her favorite music on, not when he tries to crack a joke, nothing seems to lift her mood these days, and it worries him.
When he stops the car in your driveway, Eddie is the first to get out, clapping his hand on Steve’s shoulder and mumbling a goodbye to him and Robin. You follow suit, smiling at them both before your sneakers hit the cobblestones and you get out as well, about to shut the door when Robin’s voice stops you.
“Hey, Blondie.”
The tone in her voice is a mocking one, she only uses Steve’s nickname to tease you with it, but this sounds like something else.
You poke your head back into the car, eyeing Steve’s side profile before you train your eyes on his best friend, who is now looking back at you with a look in her eyes that is sending chills down your spine.
“Hmm?”
“Are you spending the night at Steve’s tonight?”
Your heart stops beating and your breathing stutters in your throat, your eyes grow wide just like Steve’s do. The chills that her looks just caused, running down your whole body and filling you with shock.
She raises her eyebrows at you, giving you a mocking smile.
Eddie stands behind you, frozen just like you are.
Steve holds the steering wheel tightly, staring at his best friend with a pounding heart – he knew she would figure it out, that it would only be a matter of time after what she had found in his car.
A sigh falls from his lips and he begins to curse at himself inwardly, feeling guilt rushing through him for lying to her, for putting you into this position, he can see the fear in your eyes and he doesn’t quite know what it means, but it makes him want to protect you from the anger in Robin’s features.
“Robs–”
“If you are, I’m sorry but I need to talk to my best friend tonight… if we are still considered that,” she snaps at you, catching you off guard once again when she turns around after cursing you with a glare.
Steve furrows his brows at her, pursing his lips as he shakes his head a little.
“Sweets,” Eddie mumbles behind you, clasping a gentle hand around your elbow, “come on.”
You blink, nodding to yourself as you gulp down the nervousness.
Steve looks back at you before you can leave and close the door, you see the way his eyes soften when they meet your own, the way his lips twitch and he tilts his head at you, mouthing a few simple words at you, ones that are enough to give you a sense of comfort after this.
‘It’s gonna be okay.’
It’s not just a few words, it’s a promise.
And for some reason, you find it easy to believe, despite the nervousness in your stomach.
Before you can say anything to him, before you can mouth something back to him, Eddie pulls you away from the car and shuts the door after Robin tells Steve to drive.
Your best friend puts a comforting hand on your shoulder, eying your worried expression as you watch the burgundy car leave your driveway, speeding down the road and getting lost in the distance.
A heavy sigh falls from your lips and you bring your hand up towards your face, biting your thumbnail in anxiousness. You turn around to face Eddie, seeing his face so clear despite the darkening night sky.
He nods at you, “it’s gonna be alright, Robin is just mad, I was mad too, sweetheart… remember that.”
“Yeah but–”
“No buts,” he shakes his head at you, “I don’t– I don’t know where you two are going with this but, I didn’t make you stop, she won’t either.”
Eddie doesn’t know why he is even encouraging this, knowing very well how badly this could end for you, but the need to comfort you feels so much stronger than thinking logically.
“Yeah,” you whisper.
He is right, you know he is.
You were anxious about losing him before, thinking that Steve might want to stop seeing you after Eddie found out – but he didn’t want to stop, he might not want to stop now either, maybe things will just go back to normal after this night, you won’t let a moment like this crush the hope that has been spreading inside of you in the past weeks.
You are the only one for Steve, right now, he told you so.
And there has to be a reason for it.
The hope in you, isn’t for nothing… right?
You won’t let Robin take that away from you.
Eddie’s brown eyes soften even further, he wraps his arm around you and starts leading you to your house, “now come on, we’ll get that ice cream pint from your freezer and watch some movies until we crash out on your couch.”
You smile at him, feeling grateful to have him here with you.
“I gotta thank Buckley for ruining your date night with Harrington, I missed our slumber parties.”
You chuckle, despite the uneasiness in your stomach.
“I missed them too, Eds.”
-
The tension in the car is so much stronger, so much bigger than it was before because now he knows why Robin was acting so weird, why she always seemed so annoyed and hurt, and he understands it, he really does, but he had his reasons to keep this all a secret from her, yet it does nothing to mend the guilt that spreads through his body.
He lied to her and the upcoming conversation at his house already fills him with so much nervousness that it makes him grip the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turn white.
Is this the moment where he will lose his best friend? He wonders.
You didn’t lose Eddie, even though he seemed hurt about your secrets too, you talked it out and everything went back to normal – you didn’t lose Eddie and you didn’t stop seeing him.
But Robin’s reaction already seems so much worse than Eddie’s, she seems much angrier, much more hurt and the way she looked at you, even made him cower in his seat.
Was that jealousy on her face before?
Does she think that you took her spot in his life?
He parks the car and wastes no second to get out, taking a deep breath of the fresh air he is surrounded by now. He wants to stay here for a moment but Robin has other things in mind. She angrily makes her way up to his front door, marching up the stairs and waiting for him to follow and unlock the door – with a sigh, he complies.
His hands shake a little as he looks for the house key on his chain, he brushes past her and keeps his gaze down, licking his lips and clearing his throat as he prepares for whatever she is about to hit him with.
He wanted her to know, he really did, he had been dying to talk to someone about it but he couldn’t risk losing this, losing… you.
He steps into his home but doesn’t know which way to go, which way to turn to as the gnawing feeling in his chest begins to eat at him.
Steve throws the keys on the counter and turns on the light, flinching a little when she slams the door, he runs his fingers through his hair and turns around to face her.
He is met by her glare, an unimpressed expression resting on her features as she stands by the door, with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Do you want something to drink–”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She interrupts him, showing a sliver of hurt when those words fall from her lips.
Steve opens his mouth to speak, but she doesn’t let him.
“I thought I was your best friend,” Robin mumbles with a hurt tone in her voice.
The tension in his shoulders grows as the need to prove to her that she is still what she always was to him turns him desperate.
“You are! You are my best friend, Robin!”
Robin snorts and rolls her eyes at him, “mhm sure, doesn’t seem like it anymore, best friends don’t keep secrets from each other, Dingus!”
How can he tell her that this is exactly what keeps you both together?
That the secrets are the only thing making you his?
Robin’s blue eyes are filled with nothing but rage and as she stares at the man she loves like a brother, she can’t help but scoff.
“I can’t believe Blondie’s pussy is more important than our friendship.”
Anger flashes in Steve’s eyes, the mocking tone in her voice makes him frown.
“What the hell is your problem?” Steve asks in disbelief, not knowing this side of her, this snappy and rude behavior is something new to him.
Her blue eyes widen and she laughs at him, letting her arms fall to her sides, “my problem is that you were both complete assholes to each other, in front of everyone! And suddenly you start dropping friends – your best friend to be with a girl that you hated! Should I count down all the horrible things you have said about her?” She yells, throwing her arms up. “Or better yet let’s talk about all the horrible things she said to you.”
“Don’t.” Steve warns her, not wanting to be reminded of his past mistakes. He doesn’t even care about the words you once threw at him, none of them came even close to the hurtful things he said to your face and behind your back, to Tommy and Carol, to Nancy and the teens, to Robin – he can’t forgive himself for it.
Robin buries her hands in her hair, looking at him wide eyed as she laughs again, though not in amusement.
He understands her hurt, he understands her disapproval of the lies and the secrets but he doesn’t understand her anger towards you. He thought she liked you, he thought you both were getting along.
“How long has this been going on for?”
Steve closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as he places his hands on his hips.
He doesn’t need to think about it, he knows exactly how many days and weeks have passed since you started seeing each other.
“A little over two months.”
Robin nods with widened eyes, a breathy chuckle falling from her lips before she starts shaking her head, “wow.”
“Eddie found out by himself, just like you did… we weren’t going to–”
“Tell anyone? Why not?” She asks, growing suspicious of the shakiness in his voice and the panicked look on his face.
“Because, Robin, it's just… sex!” He says in frustration, like those words are meant to convince her but she can tell that he is struggling and it raises different types of questions in her head. “At least that’s what it was supposed to be…”
He had meaningless relationships and flings before, he felt conflicted about girls and sex a few times but she never saw him like this, so panicked and anxious, so defensive about a girl he once couldn’t stand.
So she lets the questions tumble from her mouth, pushing him into giving her the answers that she wants and she watches his reactions closely, the way his brows pinch together as his patience starts to wear thin, as the desperation and the frustration clings to his features and his cheeks grow red.
She can tell that he is trying to keep something to himself but that he is beginning to struggle, it’s going to burst out of him soon enough.
“What’s your problem with her anyways?” Steve snaps at her, shaking his head in confusion. “I thought you liked her!”
Yeah, Robin did like you but something about you makes her blood boil now. Those Friday nights Steve never missed to spend with her, slowly stopped. Those small little out of nowhere car rides to the stores in town, or little escapades to the city never happened again. She might have become friends with everyone else in the group… but no one understood her like Steve had.
And now she knows the reason for her loss… had been you. A person who does not deserve Steve, not even as a friend, not after the past you two had.
“Why are you so defensive about her? I mean are we talking about the same person? She’s had called you so many fucking things in the past, and – being her friend? I might have accepted, now just fucking her!? With what purpose!?”
“There’s no purpose when it comes to that, Robin. It’s just sex and you are over fucking exaggerating!” Steve’s face was getting redder, darker, and his chest was working faster as it took in quicker breaths.
“Over exaggerating!? Well, I am sorry for voicing out the fact you and I have not been hanging out like we always have! All for a girl you hated and she hated you back! And let’s not mention that she is in the same fucking friend group Steve!” She yells at him, taking him aback slightly, “What’s going to happen when you break things off!?”
And he can only blink a few times, gulp, look at her and try to process her words. He slowly shakes his head, making Robin’s tilt to the side in confusion.
“I am not planning on breaking things off, Robs.” And his answer only angers Robin, because she knows he is a few words away from saying what she thought he was feeling. That he likes you. That he got hooked. Stupidly so.
“Oh, so I guess the sex with her is fucking phenomenal then! Didn’t think Blondie had it in her–”
And Steve explodes.
“I want her, Robin!” He yells as the truth begins to leave the sacred place inside of him and he can finally speak them into existence. “For fucks sake, after Nancy I never thought I would feel anything of the sort again, and she makes it feel right! All of it! I don’t want her to leave, to leave this, to leave me! I don’t know what you want me to fucking tell you! What else do you expect from me!? To tell you that I’m in love with her!?”
His voice echoes through the hallway and then, silence.
Nothing but utter silence follows.
Two pairs of shocked eyes staring into each other.
His heavy breathing stops and his heart does too for a moment.
Steve knew it, he knew he was falling for you, that he fell for you and despite it, he wasn’t aware just how bad it had gotten him already, that it was more than feelings, more than a crush, it’s love.
Realization begins to dawn on him and he breaks eye contact and looks away from Robin’s stunned face and focuses his eyes on nothing in particular as he looks at the ground.
“Holy shit, Steve…” Robin mumbles as her angry eyes soften and sadness and pity takes over, only for him.
She expected everything but this.
From the moment she figured it out, she knew that there was more than sex, but she didn’t think that there was this. That his feelings run so deep, that love of all emotions is involved.
“I-I’m… in love with her,” Steve murmurs not to her but to himself.
Robin can’t tell what he is feeling, knowing that he has only figured it out himself.
But she knows what she is feeling.
Out of all the nice girls he could have, it just had to be you.
A girl incapable of love.
A girl who will only be another on his list to break his heart, to make him suffer and leave him in tears.
She won’t let that happen, she won’t let him get his heart broken again, especially not by you.
But how will she do that?
There’s shock on his face but happiness in his eyes, his lips twitch and curl into a smile as he lets himself fall into emotions he thought he’d never feel again.
He is hopeless, as he looks back up at her and she sees the gone look in his eyes, she knows he is hopeless and done for.
“Fuck… I’m in love with her.”
♡
tagging friends and mutuals
@prettyboyeddiemunson @taintedcigs @mysticmunson @corrodedcorpses @maroon-cardigan @thecreelhouse @ibellcipem @joekeerysmoles @munsonlore @sherrylyn0628 @munson-mjstan @agirlwholovesrockstars
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I'll crawl home to her ~ k. mj.
a/n: only one week late woo!! improvements are happening, y'all!! happy belated jiu/minji day! wrote this at the request of @dark-night-insomniac - enjoy, my platonic soulmate <3
tw: arranged marriages, love at her sight trope, running away from responsibilities (me too), quick mention of blood, reader is a professional little shit
wc: 1.8k
summary: your party-crashing antics go awry when you sneak into the engagement party that celebrates the union of the oldest Kim girl and another high-ranking member of society. you don't expect that Kim girl to be Minji, the one you've been dreaming of for weeks, or for Kim Minji to recognize you right away.
♡ Masterlist ♡
To mask oneself is often a way of hiding emotions, to shield yourself from any physical, mental, or emotional harm. A mask hides your identity from the world and yourself, if you keep the mask on long enough. For you, a mask was most useful for some good, old-fashioned hell-raising.
Dressed in your second-best outfit (to sneak into the party required going through a muddy stretch of road, and your maid would’ve had a fit if you got something on your future engagement outfit), you slip past the guards and head inside of the Kim manor.
You adjust your mask as you’ve landed directly in enemy territory - the Kim family and yours have been feuding for many generations- and you didn’t need the backlash from your appearance.
Siyeon links her arm with yours as you navigate through the party, one that was supposed to celebrate the engagement of the oldest Kim girl to another. You felt bad for the girl - the Kim family was old-fashioned, and had taken to arranged marriages to marry off for the girl. At least your family lets you decide on your marriage partner, even if the stuffy clothes and constant public appearances could be a little much for you.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Siyeon whispers as you hand her a vial filled with a red liquid.
“No, but it’ll be hilarious if we manage to pull this off.” You say as she hides the vial within the deepest pockets of her overcoat.
“Why do I have to help with all of your schemes? Why not drag along one of my cousins?”
“Dami would never agree to do something this daring, and Gahyeon would babble to her parents and get us caught before we even started.” You explain before placing a hand on her shoulder. “Remember, if you get caught-”
“-Play the foreigner card, I know.” Siyeon finishes your statement before smiling to herself. “My life would be too simple if we weren’t friends.”
“There’s the Siyeon I know.” You rub her shoulder before offering her a parting sentiment. “Be careful, and make sure to keep your head down if you run into a Kim.”
“Got it.” She blends into the moving crowd too easily as you allow yourself to be pushed towards the main center of buzz and activity. The gardens surrounding the manor are gorgeous, but they don’t hold a candle to the interior of the manor itself.
The ballroom that you find yourself in is expansive and wider than you could’ve imagined, covered head-to-toe in expensive wallpaper, flooring, and decorations.
“It’s beautiful.” One of the party-goers stares in amazement as another comments on the interior.
It’s tacky, you think as you automatically roll your eyes, and you’re impressed too easily.
Is your home nearly as fancy as this? No.
Do you feel a small spark of jealousy within you? Perhaps.
You drown the negative feelings with a glass of champagne. Maybe two glasses would be the best way to enjoy the fireworks to come?
It’s all fun and games, games that you’ve played plenty of times before, until you see her.
You know who she is - she’s a Kim girl, but you were completely unaware that she was the oldest Kim girl.
Your first and only interaction with her happened when you were out with Siyeon, playing around as you normally did.
“Ah, I apologize, ma’am.” You bow to the girl who you’ve nearly sent tumbling to the ground, all because Siyeon has bad aim.
“No, it’s alright, my dress is the only thing that is harmed.” She turns and shows you the small amount of mud on the bottom of her skirt.
“Let me pay for it,” You say before noticing the Kim family crest on her attire, “and I can walk you home if you’d like?”
“That would be wonderful, thank you.” She nods before taking her arm. “Forgive my rudeness. My name is Kim Minji.”
“Minji,” You repeat to yourself, “what a lovely name.”
You both had chatted for hours, long past the time it would take to clean her dress and walk her back to the manor. Minji never questioned how you knew exactly where the manor was, or the fact that you made a few shortcuts to avoid your home.
“Thank you for your utmost kindness,” She smiles before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, “and good night to you.”
“Good night.” You mumble to her as she lets go of your arm and heads inside of the gates.
It was worth the lecture from your housekeeper for being late to dinner, and you weren’t able to keep the smug smile off of your face until you fell asleep that night.
You never forgot Minji, she was the girl in your dreams. The one you’d dream of running away from this fanciful life with. You weren’t sure that your feelings were mutual - you only met her once, of course.
Minji looks radiant in her princess-style dress that spills out over her feet and onto the floor. You’d swear she was a princess herself if the family crest on her arm didn’t give away her current familial standing.
You notice that her fiancé is off in the distance, drinking a little more than they should. They weren’t royalty, not by any means, but a respectable match for a lady of Minji’s standing.
Minji greets a few of her closest friends and family before wandering into the crowd. You find yourself pushing through the many people inside of the ballroom, wondering if you’ll even be able to catch her before she sees the one she’s supposed to marry.
Luckily, the crowd breaks just enough for you to see the back of Minji’s dress. Once you’re an arms-length away, you lightly tap her shoulder as you think of something to say.
“Thank you for coming to my party, you’re-” Her beautiful smile causes your heart to pound as you’re left speechless. “You’re the stranger from a few weeks ago, the one that helped clean up my dress and walked me home.”
“How did you know it was me?” You ask.
“I could recognize you in a crowd of millions, and besides,” She leans in close to you, “I saw the family crest on the inside of your overcoat.”
“Ah,” You shyly pull the overcoat closer to your body, “you know my secret, then?”
“It wasn’t much of a secret to begin with, really.” She shrugs before backing up and laughing. “What mayhem are you here to cause?”
“I wasn’t-”
“-I know of the things you’ve done, and I must say, I’m quite… amused by you.” Minji folds her arms after fixing her hair. “You have such a notable reputation.”
“Now you sound like my mother.” You roll your eyes before silently laughing. “I knew you were a Kim girl, and I was surprised by your kindness and grace. My parents had raised me to hate your family, but I’m starting to think that they were just blinded by past feuds and bitterness.”
“We should make new beginnings for ourselves, then. Wipe the slate new.” She offers you her hand, which you gladly take. “To new beginnings?”
“To new beginnings.” You take a sip of your champagne as she squeezes your hand.
“May I tell you something, in confidence?” She asks as a waiter takes your empty glass.
“Of course, Minji, you may.” You let go of her hand as she takes your arm and leads you to a nearby balcony.
“In all truthfulness, I haven’t been able to sleep without seeing your face. You’ve managed to consume my sleeping moments, as well as some of my waking ones. I never knew how someone could be so enchanted by a stranger, but you, you’re… so different.” Minji softly confesses to you. “I was okay with the arranged marriage, it was always going to be a part of my life as a Kim, but now I want so much more.”
“I’ve felt similarly, in all honesty. I never was one for balls and suitors, but you have completely changed my mind. My foolish tricks were not the only things that brought me here tonight. I was hoping you would see me, and maybe I would have a chance, but…” You trail off as you stare at her fiancé. “You have someone here for you.”
“I-” She pauses as a guard storms into the ballroom.
“There appears to be… unsavory company in our midst. We are requesting all attendees report to their nearest guard to be checked for the family crest that they adorn.” The guard announces as a few more appear behind him.
Well, shit.
“C’mon, I know of a secret passageway. I can help you escape.” Minji pulls you towards the exit as you try to hide your face with your overcoat.
~
Your escape from the party was a lot less eventful than you expected. You ended up in Minji’s private garden when the passage door closed behind you.
“I don’t think I will be able to express my gratitude for you, Minji.” You say before sitting on a park bench.
“It was my pleasure to help you.” She gently pulls up her skirt before sitting next to you. “Pray tell, how will you make your daring escape?”
“The hedges aren’t too tall or thick, so I could climb over or squeeze through them, depending on the durability of my pants.” You lightly pick at the stitching as she laughs. “Then, I will use the nighttime to sneak away to my home, where my housemaid will surely belittle me until I fall asleep.”
“It sounds perfect, except for one thing.”
“What’s that?” You tilt your head in confusion.
“Doesn’t the adventurer, after escaping near death, need to show their affection for the love interest before they leave?”
You chuckle before lightly smacking your head.
“Of course, how could I forget?”
You lean in and softly kiss her lips as her arms wrap around you. You deepen the kiss as your arms meet her waist, and you find yourself missing her lips as soon as they leave yours.
“Would the love interest like to travel with the adventurer, explore the world a bit, before settling down?” You unwrap yourself from Minji before standing up and offering her your hand.
“What would their family and friends say?”
“Nothing bad, if they truly cared for the person they were traveling with,” You smile as she grabs your hand, “and I truly care for you with all of my heart.”
“Then I suppose a bit of traveling couldn’t hurt, then.”
The two of you wander into the night, far away from the places you call home, in hopes of finding what truly lies behind the walls that have entrapped the both of you. Maybe you’ll find peace, or another place to stay.
Or maybe you’ll realize how much you need Minji, how you’d crawl home to her from the pits of hell if you had to.
Maybe you’ll find nothing at all and return back to your normal lives.
But as you hold Minji’s hand and run through the forest with her, it seems like everything is possible. The world is at your fingertips, ready for a new story to be told by a new generation.
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