#idk who’s working overtime to change my algorithm | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

my-castles-crumbling · 1 month

Note

hi! its incredible/intrusive tjoughts anon. honestly its nothing serious i just want advice lol.

so basically i identify as pan(tomantic) and non binary (transmasc).

basically i have this cousin who im REALLY close eith since shes the only family close to my age (we have a year differencs)

basically i do live in a very homophobic place, as i think ive said before but i think that she might be queer (bi specifically)

and here are my proofs:

1) the subtle one being, when its just the both if us watching something all she points out is how beautiful/amazing/gorgeous wtc the women look. nothing abt the guys. (not that im complaining cz women serious do slay)

i know that she also likes men because i remember watching this scene with her and one other cousin where the guy (wesrung a ehite) shirt fell into the water and was coming out (of the water).

me, personally, i was disgusted and i thiught my cousins would share the same opinions. nope. they rewatched the scene twice i think, their eyes were glued onto the screen ans they were both red.

2) the second one being, as ive mentioned before, i am a religious person qnd so is she. but we have this tradition where we go onto the roof and just talk about stuff we normally would never talk about. we basically kid of vent to each other too.

and there we've talked alot about queer people, and being a religious queer person and its clear that our views on the topic are very similar.

(i never bring up queer people bcz im scared of giving myself up, and usually people do not go around asking others abt their opinion on them. and yeah i feel like she was relieved when i explaijed that the last thing i wanted was for them to die)

niw into the veey obvious tells:

3) my cousin and i were bored so i took out markers and we decided to draw on my leg (dont ask me how we decided that that was the best thing to do.) but basically out if everything she couldve drawn, she drew the rainbkw but as a bi flag.

i saw it and when i pointed it out, she kind of looked panicked? so i just left it.

4) this one is like glaringly obvious tell. basically obv everyone knows, the tt algorithm works overtime and honestly i rarely get anything im not interested in.

so me, obv i have short hair, and when im sleeping/when im alone with other women you could easily tell that wtv is happening is not straight cis shit.

but basically i was changing so i just shed off my outer layer, underneath i was wearing this like sleeveless sweater and i had tracksuit bottoms underneath. my hair was oulled back in a half bun.

tell me why she says oh you look like thise masc lesbians in my tiktok fyp.

like FIRSTLY what are the masc lesbians doing on ur feed?? how have you watched them eniugh to know the specific terms??

basically idk if im maybe reading inti this but sometimes i genuinely feel like im going mad and i want to kind of come out ti someone irl cz i litr need someoen to see me, and recognize my efforts.

so. i just need advice, cz she knows quite alit if the terms as well, and ive noticed that homophobic people usually do not. (e.g. my brother does not know anthign other than gay and lesbian and queer cz he likes to throw them out as insukts)

but she does know, not all, but quite a few. (i only know nearky all cz for a while my obsession, idk what people call thus but basically i become obsessed with a tooic, research alot about it and then just leave it?. was like all the different types of labels and which umbrellas they fall under. so ive done alot of research on this matter which actually freaks alot of people out)

ive just realised i actually ramble alot so thankyou for making it this far lol

(also i just got hiccups wriitng this and theyre OISSING ME KFF)

Hi!

I feel like it's a pretty good assumption that your cousin is open-minded. I think it might be a good idea, next time you guys are having a rooftop conversation, to bring up queer people you know. Celebrities, mutual friends, etc. Ask her how she feels about those people. If she's cool with it, that's a good signal that you can come out.

Also think about- if you've told her other secrets, has she told other people? If not, then you can trust her with something like this.

As far as your cousin's sexuality- I'm not sure if you're reading into it. But remember, even if you come out to her, she might not return the gesture even if she IS queer. She might not be ready, and that's okay! Just continue to be a safe space for her no matter who she likes.

#ask #asks #ask cas #incredible anon

5 notes · View notes

thepeoplesparanormalarchive · 3 years

Text

I’m no longer posting on this blog for reasons that you can read about below if you’re bothered lol. I’ll be ‘merging’ this blog with my main one.

Basically I’ll be posting all the content that would’ve gone on here e.g. future spooks of the day on my main blog, The Paranormal Periodical, so head on over there (i write articles on the paranormal every weekend which are well written as opposed to this garbled mess).

Hi.

I run the Paranormal Periodical blog, The People’s Paranormal Archive website, and this blog for it, obviously. This is a pretty weird post/a rant about life so feel free to scroll but this is more for me just so I can get some closure on things.

Basically, the archive is dead. She had a handful of submissions but just didn’t get moving and it got to the point where it was consuming my life in terms of trying to get reception on different social media platforms, updating and changing the website, and juggling the one true love of my life, The Paranormal Periodical blog.

I over-ghosted, as I like to call it.

I’ve had enough failed projects and youtube channel attempts to realise some things just don’t work out and that you learn from things etc and honestly letting the archive die overtime and finally laying her to rest was a massive relief for me. I still love the concept and stand by the premise, the website will be up until wordpress asks for more money, and one day I’d like to bring her back to life in a different format because I don’t think websites work the way they used to (i.e. in the future people could submit to the website and i make youtube videos of the stories like short films), but for now I’m going to get my life back and focus on the Paranormal Periodical blog again.

But even then I've kinda found that hard recently. This blog is literally the best thing I've ever done in my life, and I can only thank the people who have read, liked, reblogged and followed enough because you’ve literally made a dream come true. Disclaimer: I don't want anyone to think i just care about notes cause this is the one thing in my life id do anyway because it gives me such a release to write a weekly article on the supernatural and explore a different world etc.

I try not to obsess about the numbers and internet points but let’s all be honest: we all want validation for the hard work we put into things. Currently that blog is going through what i call a ‘dry spell’ or an ‘off season’ - well, a very very long one. Normally it periodically gets a series of posts that do really well after a series of posts that only grab a couple notes and then people go back to the old stuff and they start to get traction etc.

As you can imagine it’s really hard when you don’t know when an off season will end and why its not ending and omg is the blog dead will it ever end will it ever do well again have i peaked is the blog over am i wasting my time will i ever amount to anything…

*spirals*

I write articles about the paranormal - I write exclusively about dead people. That means what i write about is highly irrelevant which is why i think i have these off seasons. I dont want people to think i only care about internet points, it’s more that I’m scared its peaked and its now not going to come back and that i’m not good enough anymore, that i’ve lost something.

I’m praying because i was directing so much attention to the archive and was over-ghosting and obsessing over like a gazillion different platforms and internet points etc. that i couldn’t fully apply myself to the articles and just enjoy it. The algorithm could’ve changed, I could’ve changed, and the world could’ve changed - all three are extremely likely given the way the world is right now.

Hopefully by letting the archive tumblr blog die and directing myself back to The Paranormal Periodical will make me feel like me again and give some life back to her and just idk be happy about her again? It’s time to move on and that’s not as sad as i thought it would be.

So yeah.

In a post about omens recently i read something about black butterflies and how they are an omen of death. But the thing is, some cultures believe it is more of a metaphorical death rather than someone straight up dying: it can also mean a phase of your life ending and moving on to the next one.

That’s why my motif for life right now and for 2021 especially is the black butterfly.

Also i fucking love black, like this pandemic ive gone head over heels full goth, its terrible.

I'll keep this blog up cause i did do a lot of content on here and if people want to see more stuff like this they can check out my main blog.

I don’t even think i’ll like correct the grammar on this cause i’m just pouring out my soul into this post, its a bit like one of my diary entries. Im also watching the movie aquamarine which god its one of those noughties films that has so much wrong with it but also mermaids.

Anyway, if you read all this thanks for listening.

#diary #i dont know what tags to put #black butterflies #paranormal #ghost stories #horror

3 notes · View notes