#ik so many ppl who have anxiety so much worse thag the possibility of mine in comparison seems like. a joke i think)

[courviknight]

huh.

#i can’t believe my mom never told me abt my diagnosis on anxiety #how funny for me to find out while the insurance agent asked me and noted i had it on my record #like i’m surprised i got the minor diagnosis in the first place but also #it just upsets me that like. if i did have that they would deny it and refuse treatment in favor of not making me a liability #and the way they talk abt it too… the need for them to make excuses like the pandemic fucking everyone (it’s true and it fucked me over) #but it’s like. all this time you knew i could need help and they’re more concerned abt how it would look for insurance #and not really believing the diagnosis?? like idk. ik i am doing a lot better than i was last year and it was trial by fire #and i also don’t really think i should rationalize my behavior or who i am #but that anxiety diagnosis would make so much sense and why it was so hard #like there were so many things i didn’t or couldn’t do because i held myself back? #and maybe it’s anxiety. maybe it’s depression (i thought it was depression up until now and ik #doctors are capable of getting things wrong but. idk it just feels like #something like a betrayal? like not to the severity betrayal portrays but #a break of trust between my parents and i #but idk. like i’m in this scenario i would have expected this from them but also #but i’m surprised it happened in the first place and that i have the diagnosis (like maybe it’s bc #ik so many ppl who have anxiety so much worse thag the possibility of mine in comparison seems like. a joke i think) #but idk it’s not really supposed to be a competition right? #caw.txt #vent