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generalsdiary · 1 month

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is this enough for a love confession?

Dr. Ratio x Aventurine

warnings: none

word count: 2k

a/n: idk if this is wht ppl call tsundere, this attacked me at 1am last night and held me in a chokehold until i wrote every single thing veritas had to confess, help? not beta read, aventurine came home guys

description: a small argument tips Ratio over to confess his feelings to Aventurine

„should I apologize?” beat. he tilts his head, annoyment fills the sound of his voice, “should I fucking apologize? for being… what?... capable! of-“ vague gesticulation, “actual conversation, for being ‘smart enough to keep up with you’ and not disappoint?” his tone of voice suggests he is getting agitated by the second while trying to remain calm, “for being a competent conversationalist?” Aventurine scoffs, he takes the black gloves off of his hands along with the jewelry. “you will look at me while I talk to you- or, I’m sorry, is the view of a gambler- below one such as yourself?” he steps forward, taking Veritas’ chin in his hand making the taller man face him. Ratio’s expression appears tired, defeated almost.

Veritas’ eyes turn to meet his. there’s a certain silence, stillness… he knows he set him off by being insensitive or saying something that is triggering to a tired Aventurine. the apology is already dancing on his lips, ready to spill over the soft hills of the plush pink. Veritas hums, “I apologize, I must’ve been careless, although you seem a tad unwell in this moment- perhaps a cold shower would help? furthermore, no, you needn’t apologize.”

“I’m tired of this. I feel like you just don’t care.” Aventurine hisses with disappointment dripping from his words, he lets go of Ratio’s chin and looks away. “I… do not care?” Veritas calmly asks. “Aventurine, is this truly about that or did you have a difficult day?” “can it not be both? and, perhaps, do not undermine me, Doctor.” Aventurine snaps back like a whip.

Veritas sighs, pinching the skin between his brows in thought for a couple of moments. after sorting his thoughts he stands straight and looks at Aventurine who isn’t even turned towards him anymore. his words start low, calm, and slowly crescendo into a louder tone, more confidently, “I care. of course I care. not even a fool would be able to miss how much I care. I stand beside you at this moment and my heart and mind is yours, my body-“ he gives a dry chuckle, “is yours the stomp on. and if you’re expecting some warm, romantic words you’re asking the wrong man, I am a lot of things but I am no romantic.” he looks to the ground, gathering his thoughts once more. “if something happened to you I would never be the same. if anything, I think I’d turn for worse, seeking knowledge that is forbidden for a damn reason just to... bring you back. and, I’d- I’d take you reborn in any shape you’d come.” he takes a deep breath, “I cannot imagine starting my day without embracing you first thing in the morning, smelling your shampoo on the pillows, your hair falling through my fingers like melting gold… I cannot imagine my baths without you annoyingly popping in asking if you can join- or my breakfast without you reading me the day’s news while I complain about the insignificance of it. maybe I’m a creature of habit, and I simply grew used to you and you may argue that.” he falls silent, speaking the next words a tad louder than a whisper, “I yearn to be near you. I gravitate to you like a metal to a magnet; uncontrollably and eagerly. my day feels incomplete when I do not get to share it with you and everything that happened. the weight of your body on top of mine feels comforting at night and I cannot sleep without the pressure on my chest and your scent around me. mentally I feel like I crawl on my knees to get home to see you, like an insect bent over and staying low to the ground. just to get to you and my heart begs to kiss you when I do get home. to taste your lips like drinking mint tea with honey, the freshness because it feels every time like it is the first time, and honey because I cannot resist the sugar the same as any other human. I feel like a parched man without your touch, I can barely breathe when I don’t see you and that damn plaster head doesn’t help to tune it out when I’m sick and you’re my only remedy. and on the days you cannot handle physical contact, I pray that the next day I could be blessed with that exhilarating feeling of kissing your lips. like now… you took off your gloves and I’m weak in my knees like a little boy over how pretty they are- like I’ve never held them before, how delicate they look, how I get to see them, and how I wish to kiss every pretty vein while telling you its name in Latin and its function. what a blessing it would be to hear you giggle at my funny words and gentle touch, and then I’d kiss your knuckles and talk even more; about your bones and joints, naming them and talking all the time like I’m a teenager trying to impress my crush when all I’m doing is rambling as an excuse to look into your beautiful eyes and get your attention on me. you could hate me and I’d be happy you’d use your time on a strong emotion while thinking of me. you are my sun, I circle around you, a moth to the shiniest flame. and perhaps I can now understand believers of religions and sinners because I’d pray for your time and your gaze, and, oh Aeons, I’d sin for you, for your presence, your body, your voice, your everything. so please, please… do not say I don’t care when I would rip the skin off of my own body to keep you warm. I’m yours… Kakavasha, even if it burns me and destroys me from the inside out.” a stumbling love confession, portraying a man lost and needy. with his ending words he steps closer, and rests his forehead on Aventurine’s.

Aventurine feels speechless, he has a full monologue surely ready to give to Veritas if the need arises but for now he looks at him with shaky eyes and a trembling bottom lip, itching to meet his. he outstretches his arm, taking Ratio’s hand in his and the taller man exhales deeply.

“you do care,” Aventurine whispers the only thing that comes to mind. Veritas opens his eyes and stands straight once more. he nods. “perhaps I ought to care less”

“marry me” Aventurine raises his chin, meeting Veritas’ gaze with a sweet smile. “absolutely not. the concept of marriage is idiotic, moreover, I do not require a piece of paper to tell me I am loyal to another” he scoffs, rolling his eyes at the thought of it, making Aventurine chuckle. “hm.. of course not…”

“dinner?” Veritas suggests in a normal tone. “sure, official?” Aventurine suspects this might not be a casual outing. “sadly. we must show up for a dinner event, organized by your employer and mine.” he observes the smaller hand in his, thumb caressing Aventurine’s knuckles. “maybe I’ll find a way for us to leave early.” Aventurine flashes him a smile, “music to my ears, Doc.”

a/n: yes I even sneaked in a Kafka reference in there (the writer not the hsr character), also in case you didn't read it - I wrote a dinner event fluff thingy about them hehe here legato*

#hsr #honkai star rail #dr ratio x aventurine #dr ratio fluff #aventurine fluff #aventio #raturine #ratiorine #angst #tsundere veritas #veritas ratio

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genderkoolaid · 1 year

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Hi! I’m a cis trans ally, and I was wondering about how to word trans reproduction discussions? I want to be as supportive as possible but scared to ask my trans friends.

General tips:

Find the places in your language where things are gendered, and question if that gendering is actually accurate. Women aren't the only ones who can get pregnant, and men aren't the only ones who can impregnate. I'm gonna bold all the places where I change my language to avoid gendering people while being accurate

Get comfortable just naming body parts. Get specific with what does and is affected by what.

Specific things to consider:

Take the sentence "men are trying to control women's bodies." For one, we have the issue of "women's" bodies; there are people who aren't women who are affected by having their bodies controlled. But you also have "men," which not only refers exclusively to cis men* (unless we have some trans male politicians out there making anti-abortion laws), but also ignores the way that gender and power has changed. This stuff is 10000% born out of misogyny and a desired to controlled labeled-female* bodies, centered around the uterus. But in countries where women can have political power and influence, and many cis women directly create and support laws that criminalize uterine autonomy, or create fake abortion clinics or report people for seeking abortions or birth control... its not just cis men doing this. And its important to recognize that no identity or physical condition prevents someone from working against justice and for oppression. Also, in the US, anti-abortion laws tends to come overwhelmingly from a specific political grouping, so I feel like "Republicans" or "conservatives" is just as easy to understand and accurate as "men" here

Also: when talking about individuals, try to ask them how they refer to their body! Some people are fine being called male or female, whereas some people do not feel those describe their sex. & also don't assume anyone's genitals or reproductive capabilities.

Also also: don't be scared! While I'd suggest making sure they are comfortable explaining this subject to you, there's nothing wrong with wanting to better understand how to support people you care about.

*Idk if this is a term thats used a lot, but I would prefer it to AFAB; that only describes what a doctor said you were based on your visible genital situation at birth, which doesn't say a lot about your genitals or organs or how you perform gender NOW. whereas you can be labeled female at any point, and you can even be selectively labeled female (i.e trans women being labeled male on paper but arrested for taking their shirts off in public).

*this is bolded because too often people will use "men" to mean "cis men" even while trying to be trans-inclusive; it is not acceptable. i am speaking directly to you, cis allies of trans people en masse: stop this. stop conflating manhood with cisness and oppressor status. grow you understanding of gender relations a smidge

#m.#ask box

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crabonfire · 2 years

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hey yall!! Feeling better lately, so I’m gonna start writing again :)

here’s a random tf2 au that just came to my head,

Soooo

Medic is working on an experiment, one that he didn’t tell any of the mercs about, and nobody really knew what it is. He’s always up to new things, so they all think this s a normal occurrence.

But one day, he finally finished it. After trial and error, he was ecstatic. The experiment was stored in this vial of sorts. It was supposed to enhance one’s intelligence, and strengthen their weak points. Example, if you were a shitty runner, you’d drink this vial and be faster than Usain Bolt. It was incredible, he had told every one about it and most were eager to try.

Soldier didn’t really think much of it, he thought he was capable enough, Heavy thought it was amazing but knowing the doctor closely he kept his distance. Engineer, Scout, Demoman and Sniper were quite fascinated by it, but it was mostly Scout. These past few games, he had been off guard. He really doesn’t know why, he’s just been off his A-Game and he thought maybe this vial would help him.

Medic himself hadn’t tried this new vial, but he was positive it was finished due to all the research and testing of old vials. When asked for a tester Scout happily obliged, why not right?

He drank the vial and it worked! The first few weeks were amazing, he had been stronger than he’d ever been and what was a reckless and nosy scout is now an excellent and respected unit of the team. But, that was what happened in game.

Outside of matches, sometimes he’d see things and his body would feel numb. He’d start to forget certain things he usually would never forget, important things. He’d even forget simple necessities like eating or showering, he’d just stay in his room feeling empty. It was like this vial changed him somehow…like he was somebody else.

He’s still as talkative as ever but that person talking doesn’t…feel like him. When he wakes up in the mirror, it’s like that’s not him anymore. It really is but something, is terribly wrong. He started to see things, he started to be scared and cautious of his own team mates. Close friendships he once spent so hard to create with them broke and shattered due to this new personality. What happened to him? Why is he being so mean?

Spy, Engineer, and Sniper noticed something was up. Just something about the new him seemed off, anytime they’d talk to him it would be like talking to a doppelgänger, identical…but you KNOW it’s not him. After a bit, the three of them agreed to investigate privately. Engineer and Sniper both talked to Medic about it and he agreed that there should’ve been no side affects to the vial, especially not memory loss and delusion. While they did so, Spy sneaked into his room after a match and was taken aback by what he saw. Scout was on his bed, unmoving, staring at the walls terrified. His breath was heavy, the expression on his was could only be described as terror. He was pointing at nothing, he was fucking hallucinating. Tears swelling in his eyes, but then he stopped his breathing and turned to Spy.

How..? He was cloaked. Nobody can see him cloaked, but he did. Scout stared at Spy and the only thing he managed to do was mouth the words; “Behind You”

spy got freaked the fuck out. Just realized how long this is so I’ll make a summary, Medic’s vial wasn’t finished, in fact it was far from it. Yes, he did get stronger, but he also hallucinated a bunch. He forgot a lot day by day, and he grew numb to emotion. He was scared to sleep because when he did, he’d be confronted by those hallucinations. I’m actually making an animation off of this lmao, so yeah have fun with that. Idk what to call this au, but it’s TF2 with a shit ton of trauma and psychological horror. If you like this maybe I’ll add some stuff lmao idk!! Anyways back to writing romance prompts and what not

#tf2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 scout #tf2 engineer #tf2 pyro #tf2 medic #tf2 spy #tf2 sniper #tf2 au

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disabledstraydogs · 1 month

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Okay, got too silly last night and made a danganronpa AU 😔

Under the cut because it's not relevant to this blog.

TW for talks of murder (nothing in detail)

Okay so the theme of this school is the idea of transfer students, so there's 16 participants, some are from Yokohama (ADA and PM members) and the others are from differing groups in the BSD universe (ie Guild, DOA, ect).

I'm not sure about the order of who dies and who kills who ect ect I just think this is how it could happen:

Atsushi: Is the protag, probably survives

Akutagawa: Does not survive, I think he could be the victim in the final trial, probably saving Atsushi in the process.

Fyodor: Is the first to die (victim), I know logically he could be the antagonist or mastermind but I think it would be funny if he got the Rantaro treatment (works out who the mastermind is and is killed by someone before he can share- although I think he's just being a bitch that wanted to haunt the narrative)

Chuuya: Victim. I know he would be fully capable as a killer, but I also think he would be too obvious. I mean let's face it- His natural reaction is to lash out at people in a regular situation. In a killing game it would get so much WORSE so idk having him act on his anger would be too obvious of a plot point (he 100% gets blamed for at least one murder before he dies though). Although personal bias wants him to live.... Idk.

Kyouka: Survivor, fuck you she lives no matter what

Gin: Victim, or survivor. Not sure what to say here ngl

Akiko: Killer, she could easily pull a stunt like Mikan did in sdr2 and I love the trope of doctors that kill

Shibusawa: Killer, I don't think he's the mastermind, but I think he could be an accomplice (a bit like Mukuro) who killed someone (Fyodor) for getting too close to the truth

Dazai: The antagonist, I have no idea what he'd be in the grand scheme of things. It would be funny if he survived, it would also be fitting for him to die. He has a habit of trying to commit 'unknowing mass suicide' with the group (aka getting them to vote the wrong way) even if this means he dies. Komaeda ass mf.

Kunikida: Killer, please let me break this man so hard he can't see any other way out ......... UNLESS HE'S THE MASTERMI- *gets shot*

Kouyou: Unsure.... Survivor maybe? Plays a role like Himiko in the sense that the person (Akiko) she had a crush on dies- Although in this case Akiko is a killer so Kouyou has to come to terms with this

Lucy: Victim, sorry lads I have to kill her :(

Fitzgerald: Victim, he's an insufferable asshole (like Byakua) but I'm taking danganronpa's mistake (letting him live) and fixing it... Although I think he would be slightly more tolerable.

Nikolai: I want to say killer but at the same time that feel obvious... So survivor? He was majorly impacted by Fyodor and Sigma's deaths but promises to carry their memory with him

Sigma: Killer. Look, I know this is probably a controversial take but Sigma's main goal in BSD is himself, and I think the same would happen in a DR au. However I don't think he'd kill unless put under threat.

Tachihara: Killer (probably), this man is like Leon in my eyes. But idk maybe that's too obvious?

(Also idk if the numbers add up here, it all depends on plot stuff- which I haven't worked out)

#text #bsd #bungou stray dogs #not disability related

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arttheclown · 11 months

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paragraphs of bad mental health stuff under the cut don’t mind me 💀

i love finishing school and realizing i truly need to begin adulthood and focusing on things like building a writing CV and getting my driver’s license and most importantly breaking away from my severely controlling & emotionally abusive mother and then just. every bad fucking thing from the last 10 years hitting me in the face lol. my father’s deterioration and death and a really violent incident with him i don’t like to talk about. a lifetime of my mother micromanaging nearly everything i do, abusing me, gaslighting me, and refusing to let me grow up to this day. a string of abusive and manipulative codependent friendships that ended in ugly and sometimes public falling-outs. my grandpa dying in march and my grandma having to live on her own now. having to see my sister go through a lot of the same shit that i have and desperately hoping she can be helped in time so she’s not 2 years away from being 30 and just falling the fuck apart lol

i’ve spent so many years saying i’m fine and i’ll get over it and move through it but everything has gone still right now. i can’t run anymore. i physically cannot lie and downplay things and say i’m fine anymore. i am unable. i have become a people-pleaser to the point where doing things purely for myself — sometimes knowing i’m the one who gets more out of it than anyone else — is a foreign concept to me. i cannot do things anymore if i feel i’m mostly doing them to just please someone else because then i start panicking & i know that’s progress but god!!! it feels like shit!!! these growing pains hurt so bad!!! and then i start agonizing over potentially disappointing people and uugghuhh i don’t like it. i don’t like it at all.

i want to do things but everything feels so fucking terrifying right now. realizing the extent that i’ve been traumatized is miserable and i don’t even like admitting it because then i feel like i’m lying or trying to get attention. i don’t know if i have fucking ptsd because that’s such a severe disorder but at the very least i’m going through a period where even little things petrify me & sometimes just getting through a day feels like an accomplishment. i love food and i’ve been agonizing over making sure i’m nourished properly on top of dealing with selective eating that i’m almost positive is because of my autism. i am a small person — if i lose any more weight i will get sick and that frightens me. and i’m painfully aware that the reason this is probably happening in the first place is because i am so used to worrying about SOMETHING that my mind can’t accept peace and is now inventing issues and it sucks. this isn’t a new issue for me but it sucks. it feels like hypervigilance or something. idk.

i kept hoping that maybe i would bounce back on my own like i’ve done in the past and maybe i can but i don’t know if i’m able to waiting and how many pep talks i can keep giving myself, nor do i want to constantly rely on others for comfort. i’m fortunate enough that i live in a part of the world where i don’t have to pay for doctor’s appointments so i might just go and see if mine can get me some help because 🥴 i don’t know how many bad weeks i am capable of having right now! i’m gonna be honest!

it’s going to suck likely paying for therapy. it’s going to suck potentially finding a new therapist if it turns out i’m uncomfortable with the one i’ve had since childhood because don’t get me wrong he’s a nice man but i don’t know if he even recognizes i’m autistic on top of other things lol. i really do not want to end up on anxiety medication or antidepressants and want to believe self-medicating with weed is enough but i don’t know anymore.

i just needed to write these feelings out somewhere. i can’t silently carry them with me anymore. they’re too heavy. i hope things get even a little easier soon.

#negative /

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firefox-97 · 1 year

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i dont know now if i really ‘identify’ with anything;neurodivergence for example,queerness for example,romance or normalcy for example(however there are some things i have to identify with, as purpose of locating myself in society,?though my honest thought is that i dont know if i ‘identify’ with much of anything except i really want to try to understand what that all means.obviously it means something.ah) .seems a lot like people think ‘iam weird=neurodivergence’ (reductionist) so i began to think ‘i am weird = neurodivergent’/category of ‘the people in my life taught me this and act like this=inherited neurodivergence in a way/but this is reductionist i think and maybe not something i am able to talk about/know about.at this point it gets confusing so i think even if a doctor really looked at me and said ‘you are neurodivergent.diagnosis’ i dont know if i would agree;because i can ‘function’ in a specific way/mask?. i thought for a long time, there must really be something some explanation for why im like this though (fake social functioning, fake sense of self, fake personability, consistent distress and fear etc etc) but because i am ‘fine, functional in this way’ i come out of works where i try to express my fear and my distress and my preferences and people think its a phase? or , literally had it called a ‘slump’? my cycle of tolerance and intolerance rather.

here are some thoughts:

major depressive disorder was the first thing i got per se but was treated only therapeutically because i think i hid my other symptoms/kept them close/things such as sh/cutting/suicidal thought/risk behavior/etc because first and foremost i am reserved.....and when my parents found out i was cutting (by accident not of my confession) they took me to a trauma center/emrgcy room where a doctor (who probably did not know what to do with a selfharming teen but did see that her mom brought her in to a emergency clinic) talks about gratitude and positive thinking. i dont know what my mom thought i was going to get out of that, or if she thought that the doctor would actually prescribe osmething, or treat me, or what. i dont know why if she was going to take me there she didnt take me to a different place, you know? probably a totally desperate move on her part. like, that certainly didnt stop me from selfharming, and especially in ways that were mostly invisible (choking,punching etc) but like i said i hid that rly well.but somehow i was still expected to do everything ‘normally’ even after that discovery. idk if the option of medication was discussed. i dont know if a support system was discussed. i think it was assumed i was just being stupid. i literally mean that, like i feel the rhetoric ‘youre a smart kid youll figure it out and get over it’ was used to me. so of course when i came and talked about the same feelings over and over and over and over again it was met with annoyance or frustration. like, why arent you solving this for yourself, completely ‘capable and smart’ person?! whats wrong with you?! meanwhile i had already stopped therapy and was expected to somehow figure everything out via ‘good communication with mom’ and ‘smarts/figure it out’ how the hell does that work? lol

im just looking back on this now, as somebody with really only a decade of awareness of myself in this way/depression;anyway

pmdd is like an assumed thing. the thing with pms is that people base it only on a few things when its actually a wide range of symptoms. pms could be extremely light most of the time/little symptoms physically or emotionally, or it could be one or the other (high emotion, little physical symptom/ high physical symptom, no emotional symptom/etc) pretty much every combination imaginable ranging from extremely life-impacting/impairing? to life-impacting (in that cleaning up blood and managing a body’s symptoms while having to manage life things is still life-impacting i think). so i think overall people tend to assume a set of symptoms of pms that is somewhere between ‘god youre acting so emotional must be pms’ to ‘why do you have to lie in bed for like 3 days? isnt it just bleeding and some cramps?’ ---> thus my thesis statement here; if pms was treatable as a range of symptoms (i know that it is in a lot of cases, but from what i hear its mostly in the sense of like contraception and management and less like uhh managing symptoms altogether? but i dont have experience with that; it probably exists) then maybe pmdd would be less of an overt diagnosis and more, ones particular flavor of pms looks like this and needs to be treated like this, while another persons is not something that needs treatment/same kind of treatment. instead we have diagnosis of pmdd (which is helpful for people dont take this as a diss of that. its incredibly important for people to connect with tthat if they need.) i just want to say this because every doctor ive talked to particularly men? (the two women i talked to both sympathized and believed me. its an awful feeling, kind of though appreciated on an individual level) when i say pmdd assume that all my symptoms come from pmdd. or, worse, tell me pmdd doesnt exist(???) but (then are basically saying all my symptoms come from pms). in the most recent case of talking to a doctor when finding out that pmdd/pms/hormonal cycle is the cause of my (he called it a) ‘slump’ into worse depression, suggest that altering my hormonal stuff in some way can fix it? (i mean shit lines up, but with everything else i was saying, i still remain depressed even not in the periods leading up to bloodflow)

basically it gives a basis to either completely ignore any other talking points i have or say ‘well other than pms youre fully functional so your options are to start with hormonal stuff’ (but there was also no like actual move into helping discover the cause of these severe emotional drops.so im left alone again with myself thinking im just making shit up). which is the feeling i hate the most.

for our singular brief moments of meeting can you just take me at my word? maybe there’s lots i dont understand.

so part of me is trying to pull back my understanding of ‘identification/identity’ since its gotten kind of swept up in identity online stuff which feels bad and kind of ignorant/sheepish to me; i want to form my own thoughts about this. i mean if i was like just weird and quirky or whatever and was actually functional/non-distressed to my own level of comfort/whatever that would be one thing. but i cant seem to advocate my own distress to others in any meaningful way, so i feel like i come off as petulant or complaining or ignorant in a different way. like ive only been depressed/(in a slump) for a month or so and just need to practice self care more and sleep some and i should be good and not like ive been passively depressed for 10+ years and actively dprsed for 7. i know the thing here is that depression/neurodivergence is different so i think part of me was looking to attribute the nondepressed weirdness i saw in myself to something else (why i dont care for friendship community, am i traumatized, why do i have “mood swings”, why i dont care about social norms but still seek to uphold them and feel awful about it, the physical things i do (im trying to normalize neurotypical stimming for myself as i know this is a thing) and the interests i have and how i engage with them (poorly because i am depressed, but internally very frequently if passively) and i have this running roster of myself because while im interested in other people i just dont feel the need to bother them with my self/dont feel the need to get to know them/dont have the drive or motivation. i think in a shallow way im interested in people who are interested in me (not in the romantic sense) but attached and loyal to people who i know will maybe stay (maybe im just untrusting). anyway i looked for something to relate to/identify with in an attempt to understand/care for myself better and now i think im doing that less these days in a similar/different attempt? (at least internally) like the people around me will not believe these identities and words and will not offer any response if i ask for help using these terms but if i show myself/show them/behave in a way that is like myself /maybe i will behave in a way that is like myself more? i am always too quick to believe others about myself and this gullibility has always led me to worse places so let me do my best

thought: part of me wants the option of join support group and also part of me is like there is no space for this there . i was in a mindfulness group once and everyone there was older than me and going thru very hard life situations and i was there just like ‘i am transgender and depressed and i keep seeing the horse god’ uh and it wasnt something i wanted to share. and i went to a hospital-based transgender support group and it was all transgender men who acted specifically and had what felt like such familiarity with each other and even though i identified as a transgender man at the time (and maybe still do idk) i didnt feel like i could be familiar with them. and ive felt like that at every queer support group ive ever been too which is only like three (i feel the most hopeful about maybe joining one again but also cant motivate myself. be alone.) and i joined a bipolar support group once but felt like a fraud and then was kicked out of the building due to a fire drill and did not want to go back. i just dont know how to utilize such a space at all or make community. when i go places i cant help but look like a weird loner who doesnt want to talk to anyone even though i do; i just cant help myself i really cant. i dont like talking to people in ways that feel disingenuous and yet i do all the time....ill think about this ^_^;

#p1rsnl

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doppeldinger · 2 years

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Heimerdinger is sick

Pairing: Singed/Heimerdinger (Singerdinger) Word count: 1,582 Additional tags: Horror, grimdark, mentions of vomiting, terminal illness, implied suicidal ideation, mentions of blood, the singerdinger stuff is fairly mild/implied, idk baby's first tumblr fic and grimdark

"Heimerdinger is sick. This is why I hadn't been able to write another entry. His illness was subtle and I've spent the last forty-eight hours aiding him. This was something nobody had ever expected."

From the journal of the doctor, before the incident.

5.07

- 03:56 -

Heimerdinger is sick. This is why I hadn't been able to write another entry. His illness was subtle and I've spent the last forty-eight hours aiding him. This was something nobody had ever expected. Not even I had spotted any signs that there was something wrong of him. Hours ago that day, he was as healthy as ever; moving freely and getting swept away with his endearing long mutters until the afternoon where he just...stopped.

He hadn't had the energy to even stand and he was running a fever of 106°. No amount of medicine was able to at least fight off the fever. The image of him weak in bed filled my body with terror, I'll admit. Perhaps it was because of the way he looked. Sweaty, frail, golden fur all a mess, barely moved an inch...

He looked like he was about to die. I'll be continuing with my aid. I've put him in a silk robe to help him cool off. I'll return to his room within an hour with some ice water. Hopefully, this is just a quick bug the professor just has to fight off.

- 08:04 -

Just gave Heimerdinger some ice water. He was so weak that I had to help him drink. He reminded me of his poro for some reason. That thing is so easily frightened. The shaking of Heimer's hands when he reached out for the glass might be the cause of it. Within a few minutes I'll give him more medicine, it's better than nothing I suppose.

Something in his room also smells. It's not too awful but it's more noticeable when I come around him. And I thought it was just me at first. It might be the stench of him stewing in his own sweat for three days straight. I must prepare a bath for him tomorrow.

5.08

- 10:32 -

Heimerdinger isn't getting better. He vomited in his bed this morning and the results weren't anything I've ever seen. His emesis was black in color. It stained the sheets and part of me believes that whatever this is will not be coming out in the wash. That's how defiling it is. This isn't normal.

- 2:20 -

He hasn't moved an inch. My concern is at its peak.

Would it be wrong of me to say that I...quietly expect Heimerdinger to pass from this? Subtle, incompatible fevers and black emesis is never a good sign; and I cannot but feel that he wouldn't survive. Nobody would. What's worse is that nobody knows what's causing his downfall.

Others would say to take him to the infirmary; get professional help. Are humans even capable of caring for a yordle? Would they even be able to identify his illness? Part of me doesn't want anyone to go near him.

5.09

- 01:45 -

Unexpected turn of events today. Heimerdinger is suddenly better. He's capable of drinking and eating without assistance, and he can stand now. Of course, he refuses to stay in bed. My only question is: how is this possible?

I have a theory that maybe the black emesis is what made him ill, and the only way to cure him is to remove it. Seems to make sense, though, I am not sure of what it was made up of.

Bodies are a complex system. They are very fragile. Anything can happen to them. Even on its own, the body can decide to deteriorate or destroy itself at anytime. That's beyond our control. And sometimes, the solutions to this are the simplest.

When I asked Heimerdinger of what he might've done to cause such results or if he had any issues in his stomach before, he just said he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

- 09:45 -

I am very glad to see that Heimerdinger is recovering. While he hasn't spoken much, he has been eating and drinking plenty and has been very affectionate. He still chooses to keep on the robe I gave him.

But bath time was odd. Heimerdinger persisted on keeping the robe on despite my requests. A perfectly good robe now soaked in bath water. Whatever makes him comfortable, I suppose.

The smell from him refuses to leave no matter how many times we scrubbed. Heimerdinger protested, saying that it's okay and that he doesn't smell anything. I don't see how that's the case when his head smells awfully sweet. Like, to a sickening degree. None of the soaps in the bathroom smell even close to what he smells like. I don't know what the smell is and I don't know where it came from. It frustrated me to the point where I went a little overboard on the scrubbing.

I was too rough and ignored Heimer's protests. I only stopped when I noticed clumps of blonde fur and red blooming on the sponge.

I feel awful.

5.10

- 12:51 -

He's pawing at his injury. The smell is worse and it's giving me a headache.

To his disappointment, I cannot be near him right now without some kind of mask or filter to protect myself from the stench. I even had to put peppermint oil inside to cancel out the smell completely. It's like something inside him is rotting away, like his body is a shell of some sort. What the hell am I even writing about.

A mild high really does calm my nerves, but I shouldn't be writing nonsense about the professor.

- 05:20 -

Something's wrong.

When checking on Heimerdinger I've stumbled upon something I guess I wasn't supposed to know about.

He still refuses to get out of the robe, and once I tried to force himself out of it I've came to discover that it was stuck onto him. Like, fused. Onto his skin. It looked eerily natural upon his body.

Tugging on it brought pain to him and once I let go he just looked at me. He stared at me like I wasn't supposed to know about that. So empty yet I could see ever bit of anger inside those eyes. I was frightened. I think he knows that I knew something, if not now then I will know later. He knows that I knew that I messed up.

I cannot shake off the feeling that something is going to happen. I can't get rid of the overwhelming sensation in my body that maybe something happened to the professor. That maybe who I've been caring for wasn't really him.

- 11:09 -

It won't stop eating me whole.

My body aches with dread that an end is near and there's nothing I can do. I've triggered it. I really did. Something is going to happen.

Heimerdinger just keeps staring at me ever since then. he hadn't said much of a word to me. Only eyes.

I've discovered his secret and he's upset. I can tell. He doesn't need to show me. We both know this is something that can't be kept hidden. He's angry.

5.13

There's no reason to jot down the time since, ironically, I have none left. I stopped writing for a couple of days because I suspected that this thing is fully aware of what it really was. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. God knows what could've happened to me if I did.

I thought, maybe, if I stopped writing then it'll calm down. It'll leave me alone and stop looking at me with that livid stare. It upsets me how only I can tell of what it's truly thinking; to others it just looks like it's still sick and staring off into nothing.

When I said I felt that something was going to happen, I wasn't lying. I already went though the phase of beating myself up and second guessing my feelings. That I'm crazy and was smelling too much of that awful, rotting odor or inhaled too much peppermint oil. Asking myself "why would I think of Heimerdinger that way? What the hell am i even thinking? stop it singed stop it! quit it cut it out."

Heimerdinger is gone.

I am choking up at the thought. Whatever this thing is took him and replaced it with itself. It's having a tantrum at this very moment. Sitting near his bedroom is a stupid idea knowing what my fate will be but for some reason I can't bare myself to just...abandon him(?) even though he's truly not here anymore. It's tearing up all his things.

If I could've noticed the signs before this then I would've done my best to prevent it all. The fact that I've unknowingly been harboring a monster and opened the gates of death upon the world pains me in ways I cannot describe. I'm first. It wants me. I opened the gates and now I must face the consequences.

There's nothing I can do. I could try and fight but I know in the end, it'll win. Just like it had won with Heimerdinger. It'll win. How can I fight something when I don't even know what it is? Maybe I'm just saying this because it holds the face of someone I cherish someone I know. Would you destroy a thing that held the face of someone you loved? I don't want to hurt him. Even if it's not truly him, I don't want to hurt him again.

I miss you.

#singerdinger #arcane fic #arcane fanfic #heimerdinger #singed #tumblr is so fricking weird man how does this even work #update: forgot another important tag

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seeminglyseph · 4 months

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I'm like. intimidated by all the appointments I have this week even if a handful of them are just like. "get blood drawn" or "talk to doctor on phone" but still. I'm like. anxious. I have to try and get on top of like. my referrals. and see what's still processing.

It's so overwhelming because sometimes I'm not sure if my doctors are fully communicating with each other, let alone communicating with me? so I don't know for sure if I'm getting enough of the right information. and because of that I get overwhelmed and worried that I'm uninformed and doing the wrong thing. I've been so tired lately, and my appetite has been trash. I'm trying to get some food in, and drink some Ensure. everything feels so anxiety inducing and my weight is going down more, which I know will get me better medical treatment by some people which feels stupid that it makes me like. sometimes eat less on purpose because if I lose weight I might get to have top surgery. which is disordered eating talk, and I know that. but it doesn't stop like. 4 different doctors from suggesting weight loss recently so like. Eating Disorder Brain is Winning. Especially since I've come off most of the meds that increased my weight gain, and gone on more meds that decreased my appetite.

I just feel really. like. awful. I'm probably malnourished and have vitamins I need to update. And I know I need to go to the dentist but it's hard to plan to get cavities filled with migraine issues. And I just feel so anxious lately. idk. I wish I was capable of managing things but I'm just. bad at it all. and I'm tired. I know I'm failing and embarrassing... It's all so much it feels like. and I feel like I don't have the tools to manage any of it.

#my life

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ravenousnightwind · 1 year

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If anyone thinks they can stand in my way, I will try to destroy you for the sake of my own freedom and capability. At the very least, I will shove you outta my way to gain what I desire. Which above all is freedom. The fresh clarity that I have felt in times of when my problems subsided for a time. I will do anything to gain that back, even if it means I have to challenge someone dangerous to gain it. Freedom of self is important to me, more than living tbh. I will always be myself, no matter what or who stands in my way. If they have the gull to stand there and act like they're my adhd or my depression. I Will Attempt To Destroy You. Even if it means they kill me in the process.

When I say this, I mean people who dare stop me from achieving my freedom. People like doctors, or even a robber tbh(i mean a person with a gun), people who threaten my life. People who stand in my way of helping myself to be better. People who abuse me. People who literally want to stop me from being who I am and achieving what I want. Which is to be capable.

(This can be taken the wrong way so I'm just trying to explain it better because I don't mean yeah imma dash my way to the top and use subterfuge to ruin people. No, it's more like, the people who don't do shit for me, the people who want to hurt me or stop me from living my life.)

People have said oh don't you value your life though? Isn't that just throwing your life away. B6 standing up to someone dangerous? No, it's living my life. If you have to ask, then you'll never understand what I mean. I've tasted the freedom before, many times. I love the way it feels and how strong I feel. How capable I am when I have it. I will die to ultimately be who I am. I will die to protect my own sense of self. Yeah? It's called pride lol. But you know what? I haven't done many things, including beating the crap out of people, for the sake of nothing. So if a man with a gun challenges me in my car to drive. Imma sit there and tell em they have to shoot me to get me outta there. Shoot me in the fucking head while I stare at them in the eyes.

Don't you fucking look away coward! You had the gull to enter my space, my territory. I'm not just gonna give up my shit without a struggle. Even if you kill me so what. Idc. If anything it's to be respected. It's called resolve to me? It's not about being a warrior or being brave or anything like that. It's about choices, regrets, and ultimately, just another person threatening me, telling me what to do.

Maybe if I actually experienced these things, I might act differently, or say things differently, but I don't and i haven't. For me, it's about integrity. If a man or whoever. Can look me in the eye and shoot me and kill me, then idk maybe I'd let them have the car lol. Maybe I'd give em money lol. Not out of fear but respect. But imo, most people lack this resolve out of fear of losing their life.

For me? Losing my life? I've been close or thinking I was close because of all my problems. Even now, maybe this all getting worse is a sign that I'm failing. So what else do I have to lose? I guess if it weren't just me, then I'd think about it differently. Mostly it's just a idea in my head when it concerns guns and dudes pointing one at me. It's just something I think about sometimes. What would I really do? Idk. But, in any other situations, I know how I am. And i refuse to stop being myself for the sake of other people.

#mental illness #adhd brain #depression #living #integrity #pride #self pride #mental health rant #autistic

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galacticlamps · 3 years

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Me: Hey Big Finish, got any Second Doctor content?

Big Finish:

#second doctor #but also not lol #nice error screen you've got there #it would be a shame if someone #released that companion chronicles vol. 3 that keeps getting pushed back to unknown dates #im sorry i swear im capable of being patient #and im sure the delays have been for very valid reasons #especially in this year we've been having #but even like a lil info on stories or writers would be great #im just kinda anxious to see if vol 3 follows the mold of vol 1 or vol 2 #bc im already sad this range is shrinking #i dont think vol 2 was very good for it but i could be totally wrong and out of touch #there were def good stories in vol 2 dont get me wrong!#i just feel like vol 2 didnt use the cc format as well as the older releases do #and idk if that was a one time thing or a new direction for the series #i hear it's not the most popular so maybe they're trying to change it?#but some were drifting into full cast audio at the end there #which isn't bad but it's just not what i want from a companion chronicle yk?#sorry big finish #im mostly kidding but like #it HAS been a while #one short trip in over a year is a tiny bit sad #and since that range is also getting compressed now im a little worried #why do i pick the unpopular ranges to like? this is my own fault #im thinking/hoping one of those audio novels will be a second doctor story #but i think they're announcing them one at a time so we'll see #sorry i turned a joke into a rant #thank god for tags #anyway im looking forward to rory the roman

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january31st · 3 years

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In Tune (Venable x reader): Chapter four

A/N: idk comrades, i have this story planned out since the beginning but i’m still losing grasp of it, it’s starting to escape me. This might not make any sense because nothing makes sense at the moment, reader discretion is advised. I’m not on drugs, my brain is the drug.

Just, here, have this nugget of nonsense, I was feeling guilty for not updating this.

Warnings: more daddy/mommy issues, leave me alone. Derealization a bit? sorta

|| Masterlist || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 ||

~1100 words

Of course nothing good could ever last. Not those few nights of sleep or the good mood that you were back on.

Because of the accusations she made you couldn’t help but feel paranoid about everything you did or said. If you were too nice to someone she would take it all wrong, you just couldn’t do that. And about not deserving things, what was the point she was trying to make really? Did she know you weren’t supposed to be there? That couldn’t be it, she would’ve killed you as soon as you stepped in there. Or maybe they didn’t do that because it would take away from the cooperative’s legitness, making a mistake like that. If you weren’t that busy panicking over all that you would have noticed that it was weird how she just knew you didn’t take her offer. Could she have been expecting you? Stayed up waiting for you? Or asked someone?

But then again, those were questions that skipped your mind.

Someone suggested to play truth or dare between the purples, only without the dares because there wasn’t really much you could do. So, in practise it was just a question game, getting to know each other a bit more, what was wrong with that? Everyone had to co-exist, so understanding who you had been before could only do good right? Yeah… trouble was that the person you were before wasn’t really a nice light topic of conversation.

“What did you want to be as a kid?” asked Dinah.

“I just always wanted to prove that I was capable of doing things on my own. Like, being successful on my own. I didn’t feel like my dad’s money should be just that, whatever it was that I was going to be, I wanted people to know that I was worth the things I owned” Coco said.

“Wow Coco, who would’ve thought? You finally said something that makes people sympathise with you.” André retorted, to which she only answered by making him a face.

“I wanted to be a hairdresser from the start. I know what I’m good at.” announced Mr. Gallant.

“Yes you sure did..” said Evie.

Everyone took their turns, Dinah said something inspirational, Timothy said something boring, Evie said something extra, and unfortunately, they didn’t forget to ask you as well. The smart thing to have done was just probably saying you wanted to be a model or an astronaut or a doctor, but of course, you said the truth and made it awfully awkward.

“I… I didn’t want to be anything really. I was terrified of the future, if I dared to dream then I would have to live with the disappointment of my failure. I never really thought I’d make it.”

“Yikes….. Okay things got kinda too deep.” Said Mr. Gallant before Dinah dismissed him and said “Oh but you did, didn’t you? We’re all here still! How wonderful is that? We have been that strong!”

“Well, since we’re on a depressing note already, might as well talk about all our dead loved ones” said Coco.

“Hah loved ones, that’s a funny one” you said.

“What do you mean?” said Timothy.

“Well… no loved ones to account for really”

“Are you serious? What, were you an orphan or something?” asked Coco.

“No, not really” a pause from everyone, expectant on you to go on. “So, my mum died when I was a kid. She was nice. The only nice thing I had really. Then my father was an absolute fucking asshole piece of shit who just kept hating on her for no reason, and he didn’t care about me either, kept me around for the child support money. I left that place as soon as I could. Then I didn’t care much about making friends really, too busy with other things.”

“Wow that was quite the life” Gallant mocked.

“But you’re always so jolly dear, how come?” asked Evie.

“And isn’t that the best cover for a ruined mind?” You answered.

From then on you were not only paranoid, but nostalgic as well. Realising how you had wasted your life away to how bad you felt about yourself. And the irony in that was how now you were wasting the last chance away as well. Every other passage in a book made you cry, everything everyone said was too much. You stopped hanging around the others when it wasn’t mandatory, no one would catch a glimpse of you except during meals and cocktails, and on those occasions you were spaced out for the most part, not really adding to any conversations or cracking dumb jokes anymore.

Your little concerts slowly stopped happening, you just pretended you didn’t see that keyboard anymore. Hell, at one point Coco even stopped commenting on you tired or down you looked, it was the new normal, and it was just uncomfortable to bring up anymore, even for her.

What you didn’t find out until later was that Venable was on the balcony to the music room during the game. Not that your life story would soften her, of course nothing ever could, but the outpost did become even more insufferable than usual after it.

The days had rolled on and on for a while, your nights melting into days, melting into nothing. Waking up tear stained yet again, no clue of what time it was supposed to be, you noticed a small purple leather book that hadn’t been on your table before.

You stumbled your way to it, wondering which of your steps would make it dissolve into the air. But none did. It was right there. And you recognized it. You dreamt with it every night. Or, was it a dream at all?

Or, wasn’t it all a dream?

No, you tried to rub the sleep from your face. You knew the book because it so often stood behind those brown eyes. Eyes that you couldn’t stand to look at, but had somehow been etched into your eyelids. Eyes that went from left to right, then right to left over the pages on your table.

You turned your back to it and went back to sleep, the only thing that made sense, if only for a couple minutes at a time. Your dreams swayed from one to the other with a berry liqueur flavour to them, some clear, some red as blood. And when you woke up there was the blueberry book still.

You opened it, praying answers would drop from it. Whatever God or Goddess you prayed to had been listening apparently, although not entirely. Were they answers? No, maybe it was just another bunch of questions really, but what dropped from the book was a handwritten note.

The offer still stands.

if you want to be added to a taglist for this series, feel free to reach out in whatever way you prefer :)

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i-cant-sing · 3 years

Note

You said you go feral for Yan! Erasermic (me too), so what about them with a darling with a disability/chronic pain like EDS or arthritis where some days, like after a particularly long day on their feet or a cold or rainy day, they can barely move because of the resulting strain on their joints? (Maybe a little bit of self projection in this one oops)

Pain: Yandere! Erasermic

(wow what a unique title. Everyone give 1 clap for me)

Hey, thank you so much for requesting. I'm so glad you all liked my previous Erasermic post. I still have another Erasermic request and 2 others. So idk what self projection is but I tried to do it after looking it up. If I didn't hit the mark, please do tell me so I know what it is for future posts. Also, I read up a bit on EDS for this one. Hope you enjoy! :)

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere! Erasermic:

Once again, one of the best yanderes to be with.

They have read about your condition, consulted various doctors. They probably know more about it than you do, and you were born with it.

Speaking of doctors, they'll get you the best treatment available. The medicine cabinet is full of expensive drugs, legal and illegal ones too if they help you with the pain. Who's going to do a drug bust on the nations top pro heroes?

And while medicines are effective, they do have side effects as well. Which is why Hizashi will also be looking up all sorts herbal medicines. Often giving you his homemade special herbal mixed teas.

Aizawa wouldn't let you out of bed, insisting you rest. He'll often either use his scarf or put a weighted blanket on you, just to ensure you wouldn't get out of bed. He'll either get you things you need or pick you up and take you wherever you have to go.

During winters, they will be super reluctant to let you out of the house. They know what the cold does to your joints. If you absolutely do have to go, they'll go with you in a heated car, and you're wrapped up in layers, almost making you suffocate in them. Even during other seasons, if there is even a light breeze, they will quickly get you their coat or jackets or better yet, you all cuddle up to share the body heat.

Massages and cuddles. Big time. You'll always be between them, Aizawa towards your back, rubbing your lower back to release the knots in your back, and Hizashi in front of you, showering you in kisses.

They're always so gentle with you, both in and out of bed. They know that your skin bruises up easily, so they're always extra careful with their touches.

And while they do know that your disease has you in agony, they can't help but be happy internally. They love how you're dependant on them; even for things you can do yourself, they won't allow you to. And how often you praise them with such beautiful words and thank them with such unforgettable memories.

If you have a job, especially one that makes you leave home, you need to forget about it. They'll be continuously telling you to quit your job; that they are more than happy to provide for you. If you really do love your job, you better not complain about the pain, because once even a whimper escapes your lips, they'll hand in your resignation on your behalf and won't listen to anything you say.

You walked home from the bus stop. A bad decision really, considering you already had a massive headache at work. And now you walked home, and even though the your home wasn't far, your feet were aching badly. You felt like your kneecaps were going to twist out of position any moment. You could've asked Aizawa or Hizashi to drive you home but you didn't want to bother them. After all, they are pro heroes.

Once you finally got home, you were greeted by Hizashi. "Hey dove! You're just in time. I made your favourite today! Why don't you go freshen up! Shou will be home any minute!" You nodded, not even having the energy to speak, and went upstairs to your room. Your head felt like it was going to explode. You sat down on the bed and started massaging your temples to relive some pain. You groaned slightly as your cold hands touched your forehead, your eyes screwed shut. Suddenly, your cold hands were pulled away and were replaced by rough, warm hands. You didn't have to open your eyes to know it was Shouta. He started massaging your head, knowing exactly where to put pressure, finally giving you some relief. "Feeling better?"he asked. You opened your eyes, smiling gratefully at him. "Yeah. Sorry for worrying yo-" He cut you off by pressing a kiss to your forehead. "You didn't. Why didn't you ask me or Hizashi to pick you up?" "I didn't want to bother you guys." You replied. "Nonsense. You know you can ask us for anything." He said, almost sounding like he was admonishing you. He sighed, quickly picking you up and walking towards the bathroom. "Your feet must be killing you too. Let's take a bath first." "But Hizashi already made dinner. We should go eat-"you were interrupted, this time by your other boyfriend. "I can heat it up again. Your muscles must be sore. I'll run a hot bath for us." He said, before plugging in the bathtub and turning on the knob, and pouring in some essential oils and bath salts. "Thank you" you said to both of them. They smiled at you. Once the bath was ready, they helped you out of your clothes before taking off their own. Aizawa helped you into the large to bathtub, your back against his chest as Hizashi sat on the other side of the tub, effectively trapping you between their legs.

Bath time was everyone's favourite time, especially yours. Aizawa would always give a relaxing massage to your shoulders, kissing your forehead with your body pulled flushed against him. Hizashi would rub your feet with such expertise; always managing to get some sinful noises from you. "Tough day at work?" Hizashi asked. You already knew what was coming. "No. I'm fine really. Just a bit tired is all" Shou tutted at you "you know better than to lie to us. Tell us how you're really feeling."he said, his tone turning serious. You sighed, "seriously, I am fine. Just had a small headache. Nothing to worry about." "When it concerns you, everything is worrisome for us. Especially when you hide your pain" Hizashi said, his brows furrowed in genuine concern, making you feel guilty. "You should quit your job." Shou said, kissing your earlobe. "But I don't want to. I really do like my job-" you tried to say but Hizashi cuts you off "yeah. She should just stay at home and rest. Her health is getting worse, you know" "it's really not-" again you were cut off, this time by Aizawa. "I agree. I just don't feel at ease when she's out of the house. I'll talk to her boss tomorrow and explain why she won't be returning home anytime soon." "What? No-" you hated how they talked about you like you weren't even there; this was just the one habit you hated about them. Hizashi nodded this time, running a hand through his hair "yeah. And if you go in person, I'm sure they won't even ask her to put in a 2 weeks notice-" "NO!"Finally, your outburst had got them to pay attention to you. "Hey whats wrong?" Hizashi asked, running a hand over your thigh. "I just- I just don't want to leave my job. I know you guys are only saying this because you love me but I like my job. I like working there. And I know you guys are more than capable of taking care of my expenses as well, but I just hate being dependent on my boyfriends for everything. I am very grateful to both of you, but I don't like being a burden on you guys." You said, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment and your eyes filled with tears. Your headache returned again; you didn't like to argue with them. Sensing your discomfort, Shouta started to rub your temples again, kissing your neck and apologising for distressing you. Hizashi pulled himself towards you and wiped the tears away from your eyes, also apologising. "Oh we are so sorry for making you feel like this. You're not a burden to us. We love doing these things for you princess. We do, believe me." Shou nodded before speaking "of course, its your life. You're going to ultimately make all of your decisions. We're just worried about you. We don't want you to strain yourself, kitten." Now you started to feel bad, "no- no its okay. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have reacted this way. I know you both love me and care about me a lot. I just hope you understand where I'm coming from." You said to them, your eyelashes heavy with tears. "We know. We know you love us just as much we love you. Let's just forget about this topic and go eat some dinner, yeah?" Hizashi said, before getting out of the tub and helping you out. "Yeah. I am feeling a lot better. Thank you both" you said, kissing them. "Thats good to know. However, I feel like you should take a few days off work. Just to be safe" Aizawa said, handing you both a towel each. "Yeah. I could use a break too. And Shou you should take tomorrow off as well. You need to catch up on some sleep." Hizashi said, helping you into your clothes. You didn't want to argue anymore so you agreed "okay. But only if Shou stays home too." Aizawa kissed your cheek and smiled "sure. Just have to run one errand in the morning and I'll be back before you know it." You nodded before all of you went down to eat, not knowing that the "errand" would be ensuring that you get fired from your job.

Hope you all liked this one! Please do tell me if I did it right. Did I get what you were asking for? Also requests are open! :)

#yandere erasermic x reader #yandere erasermic #yandere eraserhead #yandere aizawa x reader #yandere present mic x reader #yandere hizashi #yandere aizawa shouta #yandere bnha x reader #yandere bnha imagines #yandere mha #bnha x reader #aizawa x reader

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absolutepokemontrash · 3 years

Note

The undatables as uncles need more love, so... What if L!MC and the rest of the children just go to the castle or purgatory Hall for a few days because the Bros got tired or just need a day of rest. Idk this makes no sense

Yes, more uncle shennaniganery!

A Day at the Demon Lord’s Castle

Masterlist

It was Demon-Flu season, and no demon in the House of Lamentation was spared from its sniffly wrath. It started with Belphegor waking up and sneezing right next to Beel, and it was all downhill from there.

Notice how I said “demon”, the dear little Half-Demons were all fine thanks to the efforts of M!MC who for some reason had bought a bunch of plague doctor masks the week prior.

“Why... why did you buy these?” L!MC asked, their voice muffled by the badly fitting mask.

“I saw em’ in a store window and I decided I wanted them.”

Three out of four of the Brat Brigade (plus the cat) were on their way to the Demon Lord’s castle to stay until the house’s little epidemic passed. Lord Diavolo had oh so graciously asked (begged) to be allowed to host the kids for a while.

What could go wrong?

Many things could go wrong.

For one, the first thing A!MC saw when they first arrived, was a rat. Not one of the gross scary ones, but one of the absolutely adorable ones that turns you into the ‘gently holds’ meme.

“I’m going to call you Templeton!” “*squeak*” “Yay!”

Barbatos of course came to greet the guests, and explained that they have a little... issue with rats at that moment. Butler-dad assured them it wouldn’t be a problem, just if the children saw any of the vermin running around to tell him and he’d dispose of them.

Templeton the rat was promptly hidden in one of A!MC’s pockets.

The Purgatory Hall crew was there as well, apparently Solomon decided to make brunch and Purgatory Hall’s kitchen exploded.

Lord Diavolo finally makes his entrance and declares that everyone should unpack and relax, his gorgeous/terrifying castle was their gorgeous/terrifying castle.

“So,” L!MC rested their head on their hand and rotated the knight in their free hand as they stared half vacantly at the chess board. “Did you take care of the snake in the labyrinth, Dia?”

Diavolo lit up when he heard his seldom used nickname. “Well, Henry 1.0 isn’t exactly bothering anyone down there at the moment, and I don’t think Levi is equipped to deal with a fifty foot long untamed snake.”

L!MC smirked and placed their knight down. “Yeah, at least not right now.”

The moment L!MC removed their hand from the knight, Diavolo moved his bishop and took their queen. Shit.

“Aw man...” L!MC mumbled, after a cursory look at the board, the poor thing realized that they had been screwed for the last five turns and Diavolo was just prolonging the match.

“Don’t feel too bad, L!MC.” Diavolo gave them a pat on the head. “Lucifer can’t beat me in chess either.”

“Hmph.” They wouldn’t admit it but... that did make them feel a little better.

“That reminds me, I have a favour to ask of you.” L!MC almost outwardly drooped at the mention of... ugh... a task. “Do you mind reviewing some dad-jokes with me to make sure they are suitably dad-like?”

“...what?” Quickly remembering they were in the presence of honest to God (poor choice of words... uh... Grandfather?) royalty, L!MC straightened their posture and tried their best to look respectfully curious instead of completely and utterly confused. “Pardon?”

“M!MC and several others have said I have ‘dad vibes’, so I’m leaning into it!” Diavolo smiled so brightly if L!MC hadn’t been the child of the Morning Star they may have been blinded. “My father wasn’t one for jokes, so I’d like to run these by you before I say them to others.”

Suppressing a snort of laughter, L!MC nodded. “Go for it, I’m all ears.”

Diavolo pulled out quite the long list and began to read out loud... L!MC quickly realized that this may take longer than expected. “Okay, to begin: I’m afraid for the calendar, it’s days are numbered.”

“Oh not-that-good-Lord...” L!MC muttered under their breath.

The dad jokes continued, some were funny, some were absolutely awful, some sounded like they were made for children in the Victorian era... overall, it was a good- holy shit that took over two hours...

“Finally,” Diavolo squinted at the last joke. “I went to the liquor store and they asked for my ID, while I fumbled for my wallet, my Blockbuster card fell out, the cashier said ‘nevermind’.”

L!MC furrowed their brows. “What’s a Blockbuster?”

“That was what I was hoping you’d explain to me... is it a dad requirement to get a card for that establishment..?”

“Mmmm...” L!MC pursed their lips. “Probably not. I mean, Lucifer doesn’t have one.”

“That’s true...” Diavolo looked at the clock, then stood up and began to shoo L!MC out the door. “Look at me, taking up all your time that you should be spending with your friends. Thank you for your help, L!MC, now don’t let me keep you any longer!”

Giggling slightly, L!MC shot a wave over their shoulder as they left the room. “Bye dad! See you later!”

They were half way down the hallway when they realized their verbal slip-up.

“Oh.” L!MC’s face burned with embarrassment. “Shit.”

Dad-volo was totally delighted and very cool about it, don’t worry.

M!MC and Bean the cat were hanging out with the angels in the very pretty royal gardens when that mess was going down.

Luke was being absolutely adorable and was snuggling Bean while he and Simeon looked at the pretty plants.

In traditional M!MC fashion, they were engaging in an average game of ‘lightly tease the chihuahua’.

“It’s just... you’re so small.” M!MC took the opportunity to rest their arm on Luke’s head as he stopped to observe a colour changing flower bush. “How many years have you been this height? 100? 200?”

M!MC had taken the news that Luke was older than them in stride, finding new opportunities to make the little angel do his adorable angy face. They were obviously succeeding in their jerkwad-endeavours as Luke pushed their arm off and fixed his now smushed hat.

“You be quiet! I’m perfectly average height for an angel my age.” Luke huffed, petting the cat, who hissed at M!MC. The stupid cat absolutely hated them for some reason, it brought L!MC never ending joy to bring the cat into their shared room and watch it hiss and swipe at them. L!MC should really show some more respect for their older cousin!

“Are angels normally the size of a fifth grader?” M!MC snickered. “Is Simeon considered a freak for his height?”

“No, M!MC, I am not.” Simeon chuckled. “Rest assured, Luke will grow.”

“Yeah! And I’m sure I’ll be taller than you!” Luke added.

M!MC smirked deviously and pinched Luke’s cheek. “Well, I’ll have to take advantage of your smallness and baby face while I still can!”

“Hey! Stop that!” Luke tried to swat their hands away, but M!MC had inherited their father’s reflexes and his penchant for being a little shit every once and a while, so Luke’s swatting only resulted in more pinches.

“Never!” M!MC teased. “Surrender to your smallness!”

“No!”

Luke took off deeper into the garden, surprisingly quickly considering he was holding a cat that was hellbent on clawing M!MC’s eyes out. M!MC laughed and gave chase.

“Luuuuuuuke! Come back! I promise I’ll be nice!” M!MC lied right through their teeth like the little heathen they were, as they ran down the path they noticed that they couldn’t see Luke up ahead anymore, nor could they hear him yelling for Simeon to make them quit their teasing.

“Heheh...” M!MC wheezed as they stopped to catch their breath. “Luke c’mon, don’t be a baby. It’s real immature to hide like that!”

There was no response, which made M!MC just a little nervous, just a smidge. The plants had changed from pretty flowers and gorgeous trees to a much darker clump of vines and twisting branches. It all seemed to be the same plant, M!MC noted as they scanned the area for any sign of Luke and the cat, or Simeon for that matter.

“Luke? Bean? Come on! Haul your asses over here, this isn’t funny any-” M!MC paused and looked down as something coiled around their left leg. “-more?”

The vine tightened and yanked them backwards, M!MC fell right to the ground and clawed at the path to stop them getting pulled into the brush. Another vine wrapped around their right leg, any resistance that digging their nails into the ground was nullified as both vines yanked M!MC into the bushes.

Well, this was a nightmare of epic proportions. The vines continued to wrap around the helpless half demon until they were completely unable to move. As M!MC looked around frantically, they made eye contact with an all too familiar pair of blue eyes. Ah! There was Luke!

“Mmmph!” Only Luke’s eyes were visible, but the eyes are the gateway to the soul or whatever, and M!MC took an educated guess and decided that Luke’s soul wasn’t too happy with them.

“Mmth! Mmth!” M!MC tried to speak, but their mouth was covered by the vines. The two would have to communicate with their eyes only.

‘This is your fault!’

‘How the fuck is this MY fault?’

‘If you hadn’t teased me this never would have happened!’

‘Grow thicker skin, you chihuahua!’

‘Fuck you!’

Listen, Luke probably wasn’t capable of trying to communicate a swear word, but it was incredibly funny for M!MC to think about.

“M!MC? Luke?” Simeon stepped into their limited field of vision. “Where are you two? This plant is carnivorous.”

Oh... lovely. That was good to know.

“Mmemph!”

“MFTH!” Luke and M!MC tried to call out to Simeon, only for the vines to wrap around them even tighter. Wow, what a way to go... strangled by a plant... ugh. L!MC would never let them live that down...

“Hm,” Simeon looked down at the vine that was coiling around his leg. “What a bother.”

Quick as lightning, Simeon grabbed the vine and sent a burst of shining gold magic shooting through it. The magic quickly spread to the rest of the plant and the moment the magic slammed into M!MC they nearly passed out from the searing pain that shot through their entire body.

They clamped their eyes shut and clenched their teeth to stop them from rattling as they felt the massive wave of Celestial magic wash over them. It was weirdly warm, like a hug from a friend, but it wasn’t a pleasant sensation, at least not to M!MC.

The plant let out an otherworldly scream as it threw Luke, Bean, and M!MC back onto the path at Simeon’s feet.

Luke picked Bean back up and dusted off his clothes like he didn’t have a care in the world. M!MC lay on the ground, if you listened closely you could hear them sizzle a bit. Nothing like being nearly strangled by a plant and then roasted by holy ‘fuck you’ magic.

“I’m glad you’re both okay,” Simeon pulled Luke into a hug and helped M!MC off the ground. “Did I ah... use to much magic?”

M!MC half-scowled at their saviour and wiped down their outfit. “Yeah. A little too much.”

“My bad,” Simeon ruffled M!MC’s hair. “I hope this serves as a learning experience for you two, Luke, don’t run off like that, and M!MC,”

The half demon nearly jumped in fear and surprise as Simeon swivelled to look at them. The smile on his face was far from comforting. “Don’t tease poor Luke too much, okay?”

“Uh... uh huh.” M!MC quickly nodded.

“Good! Now let’s head back, I think we’ve all had enough of the Royal Gardens.”

As the group returned, they passed a very red in the face L!MC and wondered what exactly went down in the time they were gone.

It’s common knowledge that Barbatos hates rats, it’s also common knowledge that A!MC is the embodiment of a ray of sunshine.

What does this lead to, you may be asking, well...

A!MC and their dear rat Templeton needed to hide from the politely homicidal Barbatos.

“Sh!” A!MC whispered into their pocket, the rat responded with an indignant squeak.

The Demon Lord’s Castle was absolutely massive, and trying to navigate it without a map was akin to wandering around an ancient pyramid filled with death traps. A!MC and their dear companion were wandering the place without a map and trying to hide from a butler that had the power to see into the future. The two fugitives were at a clear disadvantage.

A!MC had managed to stumble into an area that had paintings and statues completely everywhere, it was then they realized they were completely lost.

While quietly perusing the room, A!MC took notice of quite the lovely portrait of a woman. She had long flowing locks of golden hair and the most gorgeous captivating eyes... A!MC nearly shrieked when the woman’s eyes snapped to their’s and her face contorted into a scowl.

“Do I know you?” The woman asked, A!MC gulped and shook their head.

“N-no ma’am, I don’t think we’ve met...” A!MC mumbled before sticking out their hand for a handshake. The painting woman stared down at their outstretched hand, very unimpressed. “I’m A!MC, it’s nice to meet you.”

The half demon offered their cutest smile, their dad had lovingly taken the time to coach them in the art of being so darn tootin’ adorable that everyone would fall over themselves to get A!MC to like them. The moment the woman registered the smile, her scowl returned for a brief moment, then vanished entirely.

“Oh,” The woman smiled sweetly. “I do think I know you, do you mind coming a bit closer so I can see you better?”

Suffering from a complete inability to detect red flags, A!MC happily moved closer.

“Ah, just as I suspected. You look like Asmodeus.”

“You know my dad?” A!MC asked.

“Yes,” The woman’s eyes narrowed. “I know him quite well.”

A!MC was suddenly knocked off balance as a massive gust of wind shoved them closer to the painting. They frantically clawed at the stone ground as Templeton squeaked and squirmed in their pocket.

“Your father is the reason I’m stuck in this painting,” The woman explained coldly as A!MC tried to scramble away. “He escaped the labyrinth twice, but I don’t plan on letting you escape.”

“I-uh- m-muh-my dad’s probably really sorry about whatever he did! There’s no need to be rash!” A!MC stuttered.

“Yeah, no.” The woman huffed. “He had his chance to fix things. I’m getting even.”

“Not right now you’re not.”

A!MC swivelled their head around to see Barbatos calmly holding out a pair of scissors.

“Now Helene, I’d recommend releasing the child before I’m forced to take drastic measures.” Barbatos clicked the scissors together twice, and Helene paled. The wind pushing A!MC towards the painting dissipated and the half demon ran and hid behind the butler.

“Th-thank you...” A!MC mumbled.

“It’s not a problem, A!MC. Now I believe it would be a wise choice to move to another room.”

The two, (plus the hidden rat) ended up in the kitchen. A!MC shifted nervously as Barbatos began prepping lunch.

“Is there something you need to tell me?” Barbatos asked suddenly, A!MC straightened their posture and nodded.

“I um... promise you won’t be mad...” A!MC mumbled.

“I can assure you, I won’t be too upset.”

“I made a friend.” A!MC took Templeton out of their pocket and held him closely to their chest, Barbatos’s calm smile froze on his face. “He’s really sweet, please don’t kill him!”

“...A!MC.” Barbatos began slowly. “I’m not mad... just make sure it doesn’t escape and run rampant... now... please get it out of my kitchen.”

“Yes sir! Thank you sir!” A!MC turned and sprinted to their room.

Ugh... Barbatos, haven’t you ever watched Ratatouille? The rat can cook dammit!

When Luke went in to bake with his second dad he was very confused as to why Barbatos looked like he was having war flashbacks.

Huh... weird right? Anyway...

Good ol’ weird uncle Solomon suggested that after dinner everyone should get together and watch a movie.

L!MC and Solomon suggested that they watch The Conjuring and that idea got immediately shot down.

M!MC brought up that the most “family get-together” movie they could think of was Star Wars.

So they watched A New Hope.

“We could be watching the Conjuring right now.” L!MC murmured as they watched Luke Skywalker fumble his way to Obi Wan Kenobi.

“Yeah.” Solomon whispered back. “You know, I met Ed and Lorraine Warren.”

“Cool,” L!MC smiled. “My ren took me to their house once, when I went in to see all the haunted objects all the demons inside wanted to hang out with me.”

“Huh,” Solomon snickered. “Did they think you were Lucifer?”

“Yep. It was funny, Annabelle’s a pretty big asshole though.”

“I’d be an asshole too if I were stuck in a raggedy Anne doll since the 60s and not allowed to leave.”

“Both of you sh!” M!MC hissed, they threw some popcorn over their shoulder, which L!MC threw right back.

A while into the movie, M!MC elbowed Solomon and pointed at one of the aliens. “That’s you.”

“I’m so hurt…” Solomon pouted.

“And that’s you.” L!MC pointed at a stormtrooper that had just gotten shot with a blaster. M!MC scoffed and rolled their eyes.

“I’m not some dumb stormtrooper.”

“Yeah, you’re a little short for a stormtrooper.”

“HEY!”

“SHHHHHHH!” A!MC and Luke turned and started throwing their own popcorn…

The mess that they all had to vacuum after the movie was much more terrifying than The Conjuring ever could have been.

So, after a few days, Lucifer called to say that everyone was back to normal and the last remnants of the Demon-Flu were gone.

Yay! The kids could go back to their really overcrowded house!

The goodbyes were something to behold.

“Goodbye everyone! Come back sometime soon!” Diavolo waved from the doorway.

“Bye, Lord Diavolo!” L!MC smiled brightly and returned the wave. M!MC snickered and nudged them.

“That’s a pretty cold way to say goodbye to your dad-”

“Shut up…” L!MC growled.

“L!MC, what are they talking about?” Lucifer asked.

“Nothing!”

M!MC looked like they were weighing the pros and cons of surviving the conversation, then shrugged.

“M!MC, no, you have so much to live for!” A!MC pleaded.

“L!MC called Lord Diavolo dad!”

Mammon erupted into hysterical laughter while Asmo giggled and half heartedly patted L!MC on the head. Lucifer was not impressed.

“You know,” L!MC sighed. “I’m moving out. Lord Diavolo can I come live here?”

“L!MC, come back.” Lucifer trailed after his very embarrassed spawn.

A!MC pulled on their dad’s sleeve and cleared their throat.

“Yes sweetie?”

“D-dad, do you have a vehement hatred and or fear of rats?”

“Um-”

“Meet Templeton, he’s adorable and my friend.”

————————

Author’s note, The next part of the main series is coming next week… or this week… idk how long things take.

(Probably this week)

#the next mission is making sure the rat doesn’t get eaten by Detective Toe Beans…#Obey me #Obey me!#Obey me Fic #obey me shall we date #Obey me! headcanons #obey me! shall we date?#obey me headcanons #Obey me MC #Obey me Diavolo #Obey me Luke #Obey me Simeon #Obey me Barbatos #Obey me Solomon #Obey me Lucifer #Obey me Mammon #Obey me Asmodeus

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notsoguiltykpop · 3 years

Text

The Tenth Floor pt22

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader & Taehyung x Reader

Min Yoongi had gone through 34 secretaries in the past 24 months, and each one of them left in tears. This fact alone should have warned you against taking the job, but the pay was too good to pass up. Surely you could put up with a billionaires temper-tantrums, right?

3 years after giving up on the nonsense that happened on the 10th Floor, and after a particularly unpleasant falling out with your former boss, you find yourselves back in each others lives. Can things have changed enough for you and Yoongi to have a fresh start? Or was the damage done too great?

Genre: Crack, Fluff, humor, some angst? Mostly crack tbh.

Word Count: Idk man, this is a short update.

Warnings: Strong language, smut talked about/implied in previous updates, some dark themes occasionally.

Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21,

---

His words hung, uselessly, in the air. He shifted from foot to foot, waiting for you to say something. Anything. To make this less awkward.

“Funny, after all this time, me bringing you the wrong coffee.”

Why were those the words that came out of his mouth? He had no idea. All he knew was they spilled out in a desperate attempt to lighten the uncomfortable silence that had fallen after you took a sip, made a face, and spat the coffee back into the cup without saying a word.

“I never brought you the wrong coffee,” You replied dryly. “You just never knew what you wanted until you drank it.”

Yoongi internally cringed. That wasn’t entirely true. He usually knew what he wanted, some part of him just liked to be difficult.

He thought better than to say that.

“So this is a nice office,” He tried instead. “Nice... Desk?”

“Thanks I built it myself,” You deadpanned.

“Really?”

“No.” You sat back in your chair, eyeing him warily. “Where’s Jungkook today?”

Right to the point. “He wasn’t feeling good,” Yoongi said smoothly.

You looked at your phone, read something, and raised an eyebrow. “No.”

“He took a personal day.”

“No.” You said again. “He didn’t. What’s going on?”

“Nothing, just felt like visiting our greatest investor in person today. Speaking of, is Changkyun available...?” Even now, after these past several years of only seeing you occasionally, after basically becoming strangers again, Yoongi felt strange lying to you. It didn’t feel good. Like he was reverting to ways he thought he had left behind in therapy.

“No, something’s up, and Jungkook’s being weirdly secretive about it, too,” You leaned forward on your desk, looking him directly in the eyes. “Is there something we should know? Changkyun’s noticed it, too, over the last several months.”

“Speaking of him,” Yoongi tried to deflect. “Where did you say he is?”

“He’s out,” You shrugged. “You can talk to me about further investment.”

Yoongi grimaced. “So that’s the thing,” He coughed uncomfortably. “Things aren’t--there isn’t. Uh. It isn’t looking like there’s going to be much left to invest in pretty soon. We’re drowning.” It felt wrong to actually say it out loud, even though the numbers had been saying it for so long.

Your eyebrows knitted together. “I thought you had this whole plan of recovery--”

Yoongi shook his head. “It’s not working fast enough. Changkyun already knows the other investors pulled out. I’m here in a last ditch effort to save some jobs.” He shifted again, then muttered. “I’m selling the company.”

“You’re what.”

Yoongi couldn’t tell if you actually couldn’t hear him, or if you were surprised. He didn’t think there was any chance you didn’t see it coming--As Changkyun’s assistant, he was sure you got an inside look at how terribly things were going.

“I’m selling the company,” He said again, louder this time. “I had my chance. I ran it into the ground. My employees shouldn’t suffer for that, though. If someone like Changkyun was to buy it, at least some of them could keep their jobs...”

“You didn’t run it into the ground,” You interrupted. “And you know that. It was failing long before you were put in charge, and even then you had to cater to investors who didn’t understand what was going on. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Yoongi felt his cheeks heat up, and he coughed as an excuse to look away. “Thanks. For that. But,” He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling restless suddenly. “Credit where credit is due, I didn’t fix things fast enough.”

“That isn’t how that saying works,” You muttered, grabbing a sticky note and jotting down a note to yourself. “I’ll talk to Changkyun.”

“Thanks,” He said, taking a couple steps back towards the door.

“And Yoongi?” You added, giving him a small smile.

“Yeah,” He wasn’t sure what it was about the way you said it that made him nervous.

“It was good to see you.”

---

Ever the playboy, Jungkook was flirting with a waitress when you walked into the restaurant.

“I’m guessing the coffee was your doing?” You scoffed as you sat down in front of him.

“Who, me?” Jungkook smiled innocently. “I would never tamper with a beverage I picked up for my best friend. Even if my annoying boss changed my plans and said he was going to your office instead of me and took said beverage. I definitely wouldn’t put five packets of salt in it when he wasn’t looking.”

“That was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever--Why do you do things like this? What goes on in your head?”

His smile only grew. “Did you spit it out?”

“Who wouldn’t?” You raised an eyebrow.

Jungkook did a little triumphant fist pump. “How many times did he spit out your coffee when you worked for him?” He asked excitedly, not waiting for an answer. “And now he knows how it feels on the other side of that.”

You shook your head. “So petty,” You chastised.

“So funny,” Jungkook corrected without missing a beat.

“I would have appreciated a heads up,” You sighed, opening the menu only to have Jungkook reach over and slide it away from you.

“I knew you might be conveniently out of the office if I told you he would be dropping by,” He shrugged. “Also I kind of already ordered for you.”

“God damnit,” You complained, sitting back in your chair and crossing your arms. “You always do that. I’m capable of ordering my own lunch, butthead.”

“You’re always late!” He practically whined back. “And then I get awkward, and I feel bad for taking up a whole table and then some random mutters about me getting stood up--which, sorry, but do I look like I get stood up?--so I panic order!” He pouted. “Also. I have great taste. You always like what I get.”

You narrowed your eyes, but let it slide for now. “I didn’t mean a heads up about Yoongi coming in. I meant about his company tanking.”

“Oh,” Jungkook’s pout dropped. “He told you about that, huh? I guess it really is that bad...” He tilted his head to the side. “If it goes under, I might have to be a regular doctor...Y/n. I might have to see patients again.” He shivered dramatically, and you rolled your eyes.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” You assured him dryly. “I’m more concerned about Yoongi--He’s given it his all. What’s he going to do once it’s gone?”

Jungkook shrugged. “Actually live a little, I hope.”

A/N *cough* ‘sup let’s not talk about the fact that this has taken me nearly 3 years to update and pretend everything is normal. Yeah? Yeah. What are your thoughts and feelings? Is the time skip too extra? Or just extra enough? Would you have drank the coffee to be polite or spat it out? Let me know! As always I love hearing from you all!

If you’ve stuck around this long, omg thank you so much. If you’re new to my writing, welcome and thank you so much. It’s been a hot minute, I hope you’re all doing well and staying safe out there! I’ve been stressed as fuck and figured there’s no better cure than writing absolute crack. Stay tuned for nonsense!

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djarrex · 3 years

Text

Countermeasures || 3

Anomaly

Fives x ofc!reader

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Rating: 18+ only

Word Count: 5.7k

chapter summary: Agreeing to help Fives proves to be both good and bad.

warnings: canon character death, a sprinkle of fluff (Fives can be soft but we all know he’s quite the opposite in the right contexts 😉), a dash of sexual tension, a dollop of groping, tons of inappropriate thoughts - lordy lord get some cold water splashed on them

note: I broke away from including Fives’ POV in this chapter. It may come back in the future, idk yet. This is the first real series I’ve written and I’m extremely grateful for the pals I’ve met on here who reblog and like my work <3 Tbh I’m having a ton of fun writing this because not only does it give me an excuse to watch the conspiracy arc a bunch of times for the details but I also get to write about Renna and Fives and I love them both and I just want them to fuck already.

***

This was crazy. How did you of all people end up in a situation such as this.

By “this”, you were referring to the strong embrace you were trapped in - the ARC trooper you’re shamefully crushing on being the captor.

No, you definitely were not complaining.

After agreeing to help him, Fives you pulled into his body, his strong arms finding their way around your back holding you steady. Large palms nearly covered the expanse of your back, the heat from his skin burning holes right through your outer layers and into your flesh. Your face was practically smushed into his broad chest, your arms dangling awkwardly at your sides. The weight of Fives’ chin was pressing into your scalp. So many thoughts were swimming in your head as Fives held you as tight as he could without hurting you.

He was... hugging you. To be completely honest, you thought the two of you would fuck - or at least do something along those lines - before he hugged you. It was the energy he possessed that led you to that conclusion, but you were proven wrong.

You didn’t fight it - you knew how much it meant to him. These clones - these soldiers - were covered in plastoid from head to toe all day every day throughout their unfortunately short lives, and you figured they must be at least somewhat touch-starved. The way Fives held you was different than you thought he was capable of. You weren’t naïve; you knew the clones took off their armor at certain points, and hey, you knew that they even would have sex in their short spurts of time off. You read reports on clones who had contracted STD’s from their adventurous endeavors and were sent here to be treated. Even though they were created in a lab for the sole purpose of fighting in this ridiculous war, they were still men.

You wanted to keep up some at least some semblance of professionalism - to not touch Fives back, because quite honestly your body wanted more - but your heart started aching, and your body acted against your brain as your arms returned the embrace.

Fives was thick. The clones as a whole aren’t huge men; they aren’t fed nearly enough - that much you knew - and are relatively slim with a very low percentage of body fat compared to all the muscle they were designed to have. They’re not that much taller than you, either. However, you’ve never held a clone before. Fives’ back was like a bag of ropes; hard, thick, and you felt every single muscle so beautifully poking out of his skin even through the tunic. You allowed your hands to splay out over his back - to really feel him. You were completely lost in this moment, but you heard it - barely noticeable, but you heard it - Fives inhaled quietly through his nose, taking in your hair’s scent. You knew deep down that he didn’t mean for you to notice him smelling your hair, so you didn’t mention it. Butterflies flapped around in your stomach - then the butterflies quickly floated away and that feeling was exchanged with pure lust; the fire in your belly burning hot with desire.

You don’t know how long you held each other, but you needed to break away from him and get back to the matters at hand. You agreed to help him, and that’s what you’ll do. Maybe he’ll be so thankful for your help he’ll “hug” you again later.

“You do you have a plan, right, mister ARC trooper?” Breaking away from his embrace, you tried to shake your mind clear of any thoughts that didn’t include Tup.

“Of course I have a plan!” Fives’ tone suggested he was attempting to play off what had just happened, and it was cute. He walked over to the darkened window and kept his back turned to you. Perhaps he was trying to clear his thoughts as well. You wouldn’t know, but Fives was barely breathing in through his nose so that your scent lingered in his nostrils for as long as possible.

“Care to share?” You called to him, and Fives paused for a few moments before responding.

“Are you able to access all the equipment without the supervision of the long-necks?” He finally turned around, his brows raised. You blinked at him, just a little dumbfounded and slightly offended.

“Yes, Fives. Maker, I know how to work the kriffing equipment. I don’t need a babysitter.” You rolled your eyes then squinted them at him, crossing your arms to your chest with a huff.

“That’s not what I meant,” Fives chuckled as he approached you once again and placed a hand on your shoulder. “I meant, are you going to get in trouble if you’re working alone in there?” His gaze bore into you, making you feel slightly uneasy. Yeah, you knew how to work everything, of course. But this was all new territory for you; working - unauthorized – on a patient who wasn’t yours, performing an atomic brain scan unsupervised, breaking protocol…

“I- I’m not actually sure. I’ve never been explicitly told to not touch anything without them being there? I think it will be okay. It’s just that- that Dr. Nala Se said no to the scan. I don’t think she’ll like that I went behind her back and did it anyway. Although… I want to try everything in my power to save your friend.”

“Right. Then let’s get to it.”

“I’m sorry - let’s? You’re coming too? That doesn’t seem like a good-”

“It’ll be fine,” Fives quickly interjected. His confident tone faded with the next part: “Please. I want to be there - be there for Tup.” There they were again, those puppy dog eyes that get you every time. You doubt Fives even knows he’s doing it, but he had to catch on by now because you basically have never said no to him in the few short days you’ve known him. Your attraction to him made you break over and over again; this time was no different.

“Okay, fine. But you need to stay hidden.”

“I’m ‘Mr. ARC Trooper’, remember? I’ve been trained in the arts of being sneaky.” Wiggling his fingers and brows at you with a cheeky grin, you laughed and punched him in the shoulder. His grin only grew.

“Yeah whatever. Just follow me.”

You were the first to exit Fives’ room, peeking your head just outside the door to get a feel of the surrounding area. No guards in sight at the moment, so now was the perfect time to go.

“Quickly,” you stepped outside the room, motioning with your hand for Fives to follow. It didn’t take long to get next door, of course.

You pressed the controls on the panel and the door whisked opened; you shooed Fives in first. As soon as he entered, two guards came around the corner. You obviously didn’t want to look like you were doing something you weren’t supposed to, so you put on your best smile and nodded to the oncoming troopers. They nodded back and turned at the next corridor that led away from Tup’s room.

You stood there for a moment, just outside the room - thinking. You were obviously crazy, no doubt about that. You were breaking protocol, and basically risking your internship and everything you had worked for up to this point for Fives (and Tup). It was the right thing to do, right? Your insane crush on the ARC trooper aside, you were going through with all of this because it was the right thing to do. It definitely wasn’t right that the Kaminoans wanted to kill Tup off without entertaining more options and trying other procedures. It all seemed very… weird. As doctors, wouldn’t they want to try every possible way to find a solution without skipping over it all and just killing him? Although, why waste more time and resources when the “obvious” solution was to terminate him and find the answers through an autopsy? Maybe you should give it more time – Shaak Ti could be back soon with the Jedi Council’s backing. Maybe it wasn’t too late to back out – to turn around and coax Fives back into his room before you were both caught.

The moment was over when Fives’ hand reached out to grab your wrist, unceremoniously pulling you into the room. You nearly tripped as he yanked you inside, a murmured “hey!” subconsciously rolled off your tongue at the rough pull.

“Sorry, Renna.” He shut the door behind you, giving you an apologetic smile. “Did- did I hurt you? Sometimes I forget my own strength... I’m not used to manhandling pretty and delicate things.” Okay, let’s push that comment aside and table it for later on when you’re alone in your quarters.

Fives reached out to examine your wrist but you flapped your hands at him, “Really, I’m okay. Seriously.” You weren’t lying - it didn’t hurt. If you told him the absolute truth, you would tell him how you wished he’d manhandle you in other ways.

“Alright. Let’s get to work.”

Knowing how quickly you had to work for this entire plan to play out smoothly, you immediately made your way over to the controls and started tapping away. You turned your head to check on Fives – to see how he was planning on participating – and he was just frozen in place standing over Tup’s cot. Tup was still unconscious; his chest rising and falling rapidly in his comatose, shut eyelids flickering back and forth.

“Fives, push him over there.” You pointed at the scanner on the other side of the room with your back still turned as you tapped away at the screens, prepping the equipment. With one last tap of the screen, the scanner descended from the ceiling and Fives pushed Tup’s cot into it.

Tup’s chest rose and fell at an alarming rate, compelling you to consider - again - about turning back and aborting this plan altogether.

Fives came around the other side of the scanner where you watched the infrared picture of Tup’s brain from display screen, snapping you out of the thought.

“The scan’s almost complete.”

Fives moved in front of you and leaned closer to the screen, you shuffled to the side to give him to space. Your eyes unglued from the screen for just a moment to watch Fives; he was desperate. The look in his eyes told you that much, and his stance wasn’t as strong and sure as it always seemed to default to.

Your focus made way back to the screen. “Everything… appears to be normal.” Just as you said that the screen starting beeping; a red dot was blinking, pinpointing an anomaly in Tup’s brain.

“W- wait a second.” You softly pushed Fives out of the way and read the results displayed on the screen.

“What? What is it, Ren?” Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of his little nickname for you, but there were more important things currently at hand. You can freak out about the way he says your name like that later.

“It looks like Tup has developed a tumor.” Your fingers started tapping away yet again. You’ve never seen a tumor in clones before. To be fair, you had never worked with clones like this before, but you’ve seen more than enough of their files to know that a tumor wasn’t exactly something that could just appear in a clone.

“A tumor? Is that even possible?”

“I’ve never seen anything like this in clones. Not in any of the files.” You ceased tapping, turning around to face Fives. His hand raked through his hair, a pure look of confusion and worry on his face.

“Then… what is it?”

“I honestly don’t know. I’ll need to do a biopsy to be sure.” With a nod, you offered a reassuring smile. “It’ll be okay, Fives. We’ll get this straightened out, and you and Tup will be off this stormy planet and back to your brothers in no time.” You weren’t sure you even believed your words.

“You’re gonna take it out of him?” Before you could answer, Fives whacked the tools all over the ground with one graceless hand movement. Your eyes widened as he bent down to grab at the mess. “Do you, uh, think anyone heard that?”

You raised your brow at him, and with a sarcastic tone, “The probability is high, yes.” You sighed. “You need to hide.”

Smacking his hands away as he continued to pick up the mess, you hissed, “Fives, hide.”

“I think it came from this room.” You both shot up; you ran over and pushed Tup out of the tube and started to power it down at the controls as Fives took cover under Tup’s floating cot. Interesting that an ARC Trooper chose that as a hiding place.

The door whisked opened. Nala Se stood at the entrance, looking around. Her bug-eyes landed right on you, then glanced over to Tup.

“Hello, Doctor.” Your tone was astonishingly calm despite the absolute terror currently running through your system.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She entered through the threshold and made her way over to Tup, assessing his condition with a scowl.

“I was only trying to save the patient,” You informed her, keeping your tone calm and professional. You were ignored, however. Apparently, Fives was not so great at cleaning up his messes, because one leftover syringe sat on the ground right below the Kaminoan’s heels. She reached down to grab it, and your heart started racing. You blurted out, “Doctor, I found something unusual in the scan. It appears to be a tumor… I think you should take a look-”

“You performed a second scan without my authorization?” Nala Se stood upright; the forgotten syringe grasped in her three slender fingers. How did she not see Fives down there? Uh oh… where did he go?

Your heart rate slowed. “Apologies, Doctor. I was only trying to-”

“Perhaps I made the mistake in assuming you’d be ready to work with the clones.” Nala Se turned around to shut off the remaining equipment; machines began powering off as they whirled back in place and Tup’s cot moved back to where it was before you started. One of the larger machines floated away, leaving Fives completely exposed. Ah, so that’s where he went. Your eyes widened as you looked between Fives’ shocked expression and Nala Se, who was still turned around and tapping at the controls. As much as you dreaded pressing further on, you needed to buy Fives enough time to make an escape back to his own room.

“But- but the tumor, Doctor. It seems to be blocking neuro-impulses from communicating with the brain. I think we should scan the rest of the clones to see if this is a problem with their base genetic model or a mutation with the current models.” The machines were all now back in place; you scanned the room with your eyes, hoping to not catch a glimpse of Fives.

“There is no tumor. Your scan is incorrect.” Nala Se departed the control panel, ambling over to the other side of the room. You really hope Fives had fled by now. Might as well keep on pressing, though. It did interest you that the Kaminoan doctor was so avidly trying to disregard what you were saying about a tumor. That was a thread you figured you should follow.

“But-”

“This clone clearly has a virus that remains undetected, but I will find the cause once he’s terminated.” You followed Nala Se until she reached Tup’s cot, her back turned to the exit. “Now leave. I’ll figure out what to do with you later.”

“Yes, Doctor.” You turned on your heels and walked out the already open door. You turned your head to watch Nala Se; she was still standing over Tup, but you were unsure of what she was doing. Something really didn’t seem right with this. You nearly crashed into Fives in the hall as you departed Tup’s room.

“I can’t believe they’re going to kill Tup!” Fives shouted in disbelief after you both had made your way back into his room and shut the door. Fives shoved the empty cot to the other side of the room, clearly frustrated.

“I know. I’m sorry, Fives.” All you could offer was a sincere apology. It didn’t seem like a great idea at present to bring up how you thought the entire ordeal with Nala Se seemed fishy.

“We were not created to be disposed of this way!” He slammed his fists on the cot, an action that seemed to be fueled by rage, but his eyes told a different story.

“Just- just think of it this way… Tup is sacrificing himself so that other clones like him can survive. Isn’t that something you said he’d want?” You went to reach for him - to offer a gentle reassuring touch - but he backed away.

“There aren’t others like him!” His raised voice prompted you to take a few steps back. You weren’t scared of him, but you understood they he may need some space right now. Maybe it would be best if you retreated to your quarters and called it a day. After all, Nala Se basically sealed your fate by undoubtedly reassigning you to the archives. It probably wasn’t appropriate that you been seen in Fives’ room anymore. Your own selfishness kept you there, though.

“I’m sorry, Ren. I don’t mean to take this out on you, I just-” You allowed yourself to take a few steps towards him. “Tup doesn’t have to die - you found a tumor. I’m sure that’s the cause of all this. It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“But… how can we proceed? Dr. Nala Se basically reassigned me to the archives. I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be here with you anymore. I could get dismissed, sure, but I have no idea what would happen to you.”

“Do the biopsy. I’m sure what you find will prove Tup doesn’t have to die. Your findings would bump you up in the ‘ranks’ I’m sure, and they would have no reason to send you back to filing paperwork.” A beat. “As for me… I’ll be fine.” You both knew that was a lie. You’ve seen what the Kaminoans have done to “defective” clones. It’s all in the files. It’s inhumane. There was no way you’d let that happen to Fives.

“I’m not so sure…. Dr. Nala Se doesn’t believe-”

“We’re not going to Nala Se with whatever you find. We’ll go to General Shaak Ti. She helped me once as a cadet and I know she values the life of a clone.” Now that, that was the truth.

“Fives… I’d be disobeying direct orders.” At this point, you didn’t care what happened to you if you were to go through with this. Fives was who you were concerned with. Not because of a hopeless crush, but because of his status of patient and you sincerely cared about him.

“Yep, and for the second time today,” He jested. Not funny. You scoffed. “Ren…” There they are, yet again - the puppy dog eyes. Those, paired with how he said your name. You’d break for sure. “Will you help me? Please.”

***

“Hurry!” Fives was hunched over the control panel with you, basically micromanaging you even though he had no idea what it was you were doing.

“Fives, you’re going to have to not rush me. I’m not a droid. Give me a kriffing minute.” Your fingers tapped frantically at the screen, hitting button after button until -

“Intruder alert. Intruder alert. All nonessential personnel report to a safe room for lockdown.”

You stood up straight and grinned over at Fives, who looked a little shocked.

“What did you do?” The alert played over again on the intercom.

“I made it so that the security scanners picked up an intruder in section C-6. We need to hurry, though. I doubt it’ll take them long before they realize it’s a false alarm.”

“They taught you how to hack a security mainframe at the fancy medical academy you attended on Coruscant?”

You rolled your eyes at him, hands on your hips. “Is that really important right now?” Fives chuckled and shook his head. Grabbing his wrist, you stretched your head to look outside the door. “They have guards stationed just outside. How are we going to get over there?” You turned towards Fives, who was pulling away from you and looking up at the ceiling. You followed his gaze, and you knew exactly what he was thinking. “The vents?” You sounded a little shocked, but it really was the only safe way out of there. He tilted his head down to look at you, a smile on his face. You snorted.

“Here, I’ll climb up first and then pull you up.” Your looked over at the door again, making sure you weren’t about to get absolutely busted, and grabbed his dangling hands.

You shook your head with a smirk. “You know, I’m starting to wish I had stayed in the archives,” you jested, as Fives hoisted you up and into the vent with him.

You never realized just how creepy it was up in these vents. To be fair, there wasn’t one moment that you would’ve pictured yourself crawling through them, but here you were. It was dark, every movement you made echoed, and it was freezing cold. You – for some reason – were leading the way, crawling through the cold durasteel tunnel. Fives was silent; he wasn’t making any comments, not cracking any jokes, not even expressing his concern for Tup. It dawned on you: he was totally checking out your ass. You had shed your long lab coat before he pulled you up, knowing that it would be harder to crawl with it tugging under your knees. Fives hadn’t yet seen you without it on… and you knew how good your ass looked in the leggings you wore. With a slight chuckle to yourself, you stopped crawling for a moment and looked over your shoulder to glance at him to the best of your ability.

“Fives, are you staring at my ass?” You tried to not let your giddiness get in the way of your accusatory whispering, but you found yourself muffling laughter. He didn’t reply right away – probably trying to think up a comeback or a way to wiggle himself out of the subject.

“Fuck yeah I am,” he murmured back, sounding as cocky as ever. You bit your lip and shook your head, resuming the crawl towards the oncoming exit vent. “I don’t exactly have anything else to look at from back here, you know. I got quite a nice view, so, no complaints.” Your face heated up at his smug comment, resisting the urge to shake your ass for him – to really give him a good view. Now was not the time.

You crawled past the vent so Fives could hop down first; he plopped onto the floor, graceful and stealthy as ever, before standing directly under the vent with his arms held out.

“Common, I’ll catch you.” It really wasn’t a long way down; you’d land just fine, though probably not as gracefully as he did.

“Uh, okay…” You lowered your legs out from the ceiling, keeping your grip on the cool metal for a moment while you steadied yourself. “Fives, I think I got it. I can just hop down like th-” Your grip from the ceiling slipped, sending you down and nearly hitting the floor in the worst way possible, when strong arms found their way under your ass and back.

Fives just saved you from breaking a bone or two, and all you could do was blink up at him as his hand slightly squeezed the plushy part of your ass, the other hand gripped tightly on your waist. Maybe he thought you wouldn’t notice the way he was savoring holding you like that, but you did. And you liked it.

“Nice to look at and feels nice, too.” Fives grinned at you before setting you down on your feet. He definitely shouldn’t be talking about how your ass looks and feels right now with his friend lying nearly dead on the cot barely an arm’s length away - but, is he was open to making comments such as those during these unsure times, you’d reciprocate. A boost of confidence surged through you.

“Glad you like it, trooper. Maybe some time you can see and feel it without these in the way,” you pulled at your leggings, looking him straight in the eyes with a smirk. Seeing Fives’ expression was well worth making the comment.

“Don’t say things you can’t follow up on, Renna.” His shocked expression quickly flipped to dark, catching you completely off guard and making you gulp. Your entire body felt as if it was on fire as tiny fireworks danced in your gut. There was absolutely no way you’d be able to follow up on your innuendo-filled comment unless you found each other in another life under different circumstances. You needed to shake it out of your system.

Firing up the laser drill, you looked over at Fives and studied his worried expression. He looked so soft, so concerned – it tugged at your heart harder than you cared to admit. His focus remained on Tup until the sound of the drill made him look up.

Your hands were slightly shaking. You felt it, but it didn’t appear to be noticeable. You had never performed a biopsy on a real, living, breathing lifeform before. Everything you had done during your schooling was on the deceased or on medical dummies. You were nervous, but this wasn’t about you. You finally had the chance to save a life. You needed to pull it together.

“Renna, are you okay?” Fives’ voice nearly came out as a whisper. You looked up at his eyes; he was studying you, deeply.

You took a deep breath and nodded with a slow exhale. You turned your attention back to the drill, grabbing Tup’s head and positioning it to where you needed.

“You might want to look away at this part.”

***

You did it. A successful biopsy. Feeling a bead of sweat threatening to fall from your hairline, you wiped it away with your arm and looked up at Fives who still had his eyes squeezed shut.

“Is it done?” The absent sound of the drill encouraged him to open his eyes. You held up the tumor, encased in a transparent casing. You handed it to Fives; he studied it closely, bringing it up to his face with a sigh. The moment was over when the door whisked open.

“What have you done?” Dr. Nala Se came into the room; Fives didn’t appear frightened, but you sure as fuck were.

“We saved my friend’s life.” Fives whipped around to face the “long-neck” - as he calls them - holding up the tumor in an accusing manner towards her, “This tumor is the cause of his illness.” She reached out and tried to grab the encased organic matter, but Fives maintained a hard grip as they fought for it.

“Give me that!” Nala Se looked angrier than you had ever seen her. You ran up to them, trying to stop something before it started.

“You can’t be trusted.” Fives reached down to Tup’s cot with his free hand, grabbing a mysterious syringe, and held it up in a threatening manner. You reached your hands up to stop him, but Shaak Ti’s sudden arrival did the job for you.

“Stand down, trooper.” She stood at the doorway with her hand outstretched. Jedi didn’t need to hold a weapon; you knew what they could do with just one outstretched hand in the blink of an eye. You’ve never seen it in action, but you’ve heard stories.

Fives dropped the hand holding the syringe but kept hold of the tumor with his other. “I have evidence. It’s right here!” He sounded desperate. This looked way too bad. You were caught right in the middle of it all, too.

“I’m free…” A weak voice croaked from the cot, making all the heads in the room turn in the same direction. Tup. Fives let go of the tumor and whipped his body around to face his friend, crouching down next to Tup and leaned in close.

“Tup?”

“The mission… free.”

“What is he saying?” Shaak Ti entered through the threshold, a few guards flowing in from behind her with their blasters aimed at Fives.

“Brother, what mission?” It was apparent that Fives was trying to understand what was coming from Tup’s mouth, and could not care less that his own kind were holding weapons to him. It had been the first time anyone had heard Tup speak words that didn’t sound like “kill” and “Jedi” since his arrival.

“You… you know the one. The- the mission, the one in our dreams…” Fives’ wide eyes scanned over his friend, searching for a clue, for anything. “…that never ends.”

You were frozen in your spot, taking in Tup’s bewildering words. You watched Fives’ expression as he frantically tried to decipher what Tup was murmuring. You glanced up from them, seeing the guards' buckets turn to look back and forth at each other. The mission - the one from their dreams?

“Oh, brother…” Tup’s hand lifted to the best of its ability; Fives grabbed it with his own and squeezed. This moment was so raw, so emotional, so real. You never would have thought…

“This is the end. Forget the mission.” Tup was fading away. You could hear it in his voice, and you knew that Fives knew what was coming. It looked as though Fives was holding back tears – trying to keep his composure. “Oh, the nightmare. I’m… free.” With that, Tup was gone.

You scanned the room. Shaak Ti bowed her head, hand over her heart. The other clones lowered their weapons down to their sides, heads bowing. Nala Se, however, remined the same. Her expression never changed. Heartless Kaminoans.

Fives was shaking his friend’s body, begging him to come back. “I thought I saved him…” You didn’t know what to do now. Tup was gone, and it was your fault. He was alive until you removed the tumor. Fives was in pain – mourning for his brother because of you. You took a few steps back, and leaned against the counter, your fingers combing through your scalp. Not only did you disobey direct orders twice today, but you also killed the very first lifeform you did a biopsy on, and to top that off, the patient you killed was important - a brother - to someone you deeply cared about.

***

Fives was placed under arrest just shorty after. Tup’s body wasn’t even cold yet.

You stood there in silence; Fives locked eyes with yours as he was almost forcefully escorted out of the room by the surrounding guards. It was clear that both of you were trying to communicate with the other using only your eyes, but no distinct message was coming across. You wanted to tell him you were so sorry for everything, and that you’d miss him, that you’d never forget him and Tup, and that meeting him changed your view of the clones entirely. But, there were no final goodbyes, no condolences given. Fives would be taken away, and you would be dismissed. You’ll miss Fives with all your heart, but you won’t miss Kamino.

General Shaak Ti followed behind the guards, leaving you in the macabre room with Dr. Nala Se and Tup’s lifeless body. It was silent for a moment before Nala Se looked over to you, shaking her head in disbelief. You were in big trouble.

“Miss Renna,” the long-neck approached slowly, closing the gap between where you were hunched forward over the counter resting on your elbows and where she was covering Tup’s body with a sheet. “I can not condone this type of behavior from an intern. I have no choice but to reassign you to your previous duties in the archives indefinitely.” You were not at all surprised. You nodded slowly, still not looking up at her. You felt numb. Only three days into real field experience, and you fucked up royally. You didn’t need to help Fives, resulting you in ending up in whatever this is. It was interesting that you weren’t dismissed like you’d assume you would be – just reassigned. The thing with Dr. Nala Se acting weird when Tup’s tumor came into play still was on the front of your mind; perhaps you would be able to look into these matters during your long, boring hours in the archives.

Finally looking up at Nala Se, “What… what is going to happen to my patient?” The words nearly came out choked as you tried to hide your worry for Fives. You needed to keep up the front – the professionality of it – so no suspicion would arise. She was scrolling through a datapad, clutching the tumor in her three fingers. The tumor. You tried to study it from afar - what it looked like, the coloring, how the cells neighbored inside it. It looked... dead. Depleted. You snapped your eyes away and over at the dead trooper, whose body was now completely covered by a thin sheet, when Nala Se spoke again.

“Do not worry about ARC-5555. It will be taken care of, so we can put this matter behind us. Just be thankful I didn’t dismiss you, Miss Renna. You are too valuable to replace with some other eager intern.”

Valuable? ‘It’? Taken care of?

“I am thankful, Doctor. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” You were motioned to exit the room; as you walked by Nala Se, you caught one last glance at the tumor, attempting to burn the image of it in your brain and commit it to memory. There was something about the tumor – something that prompted strange behavior from the Kaminoans – and you needed to figure out what that something was.

***

tags: @bvcketfvcker @deewithani @chromia7567 @cyaniderainfall

#djarrex writes #countermeasures series #arc trooper fives x reader #arc trooper fives x oc #arc trooper fives x you #arc trooper fives smut #fives x you #fives x reader #fives x oc #fives smut #the clone wars fic #the clone wars smut #the clone wars #conspiracy arc #the clone wars conspiracy arc

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