ravenousnightwind

[ravenousnightwind]

It's okay if you've pushed yourself too far. It's okay if you overdid it and are dealing with the consequences. It's okay if you did something that made your condition worse, intentionally or unintentionally. You have autonomy & do not have to only do things that make you "better".

[ravenousnightwind]

Maturity is not seeking revenge. It's healing and moving on, so you don’t become like the people who traumatized you.

[ravenousnightwind]

This is a friendly reminder to never, ever publish your book with a publishing company that charges you to publish with them. That is a vanity press, which makes money by preying on authors. They charge you for editing, formatting, cover art, and more. With most of these companies, you will never seen a cent of any royalties made from sale of your book. A legitimate publishing company only makes money when you make money, they will never charge you to publish with them. If a company approaches you and says "Hey, we'll publish your book, just pay us X amount of money," tell them to go fuck themself and block them.

[ravenousnightwind]

Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views

Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:

That is not what a happy gator looks like.

That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.

Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.

Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)

So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!

Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.

How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!

Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.

For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?

Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.

By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.

Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:

It is doing a threat display.

It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.

It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)

It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.

There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.

In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.

It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)

Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator

So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.

Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)

Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.

As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.

Why Should I Listen To You?

Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?

Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!

But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.

Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:

Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets

The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt

Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk

Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet

Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang

Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)

Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson

Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul

Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.

[ravenousnightwind]

just a reminder that BetterHelp is selling your fucking data and that they themselves have said at industry meetings that they're a data-driven company more than a people-driven company

It feels like for a while in there that people were dropping them as a sponsor but now that the controversy has slightly dimmed there are so many ads for them again; do not give them your information, do not give them your money

I know insurance is a pain in the ass and mental health treatments cost too much out of pocket for most people. So do they, that's why they're making this little bait and switch operation. Helping people is, at best, a side product of their data harvesting, and at worst just a trick to lure people in.

[ravenousnightwind]

"When you want to take their books away, they're children. When you want them to work, they're adults."

"When you want to take their books away, they're children. When you want them to work, they're adults." -/u/xFurorCelticax/ on /r/LateStageCapitalismhttps://www.reddit.com/r/LateStageCapitalism/comments/194g10g/when_you_want_to_take_their_books_away_theyre/

[ravenousnightwind]

you don't have to be productive for your life to matter; you have inherent worth simply by being alive. your productivity also doesn't determine if you're a good or bad person; you are more than what capitalism expects you to be.

you are an entire person with feelings, dreams, thoughts, wants, needs, things you enjoy, values... that matters a lot more than working in any capacity - as a job, at school, at home... you're just so much more significant than that.

[ravenousnightwind]

If being a loser and a failure means I get to be who I am without having to pretend, then yeah, I'm proud to be a loser and a failure. I don't want to spend my life not knowing who I am or making stupid choices just to be popular or successful. To give up who I am and all my morals just to have money and power. Because at the end of the day all that shit is worthless. Money can only buy so much. It buys security, not happiness. You can buy priceless experiences with it, but you can't buy yourself or true meaning in your life. So yeah, fuck that shit. I'm a loser baby, but I know I'm not the only one. I may never be successful or have profit, but at least I have myself and people give a damn about me.

#autistic #adhd #pathetic loser #losers #self realization #self reflection #money buys security #mental health #self awareness #self love

[ravenousnightwind]

My partner and I had a discussion about how I need details. This is a problem we've always had and he's never been able to understand why or how come. I wasn't really able to explain it either, until I did. Being autistic with adhd is hard. I need details and explanations, especially if I want to be close to someone. If someone wants me to feel close to them, then they have to share with me. All the good and bad. I don't expect everything, but I need some of it to be able to communicate. Idk I guess I feel like it was some kind of step forward that I was able to explain this to him and he actually get why. Or it seemed like he did anyway.

#adhd #autism #relationship problems #communication

[ravenousnightwind]

Coming to terms with the idea of maybe it's going to be harder to be able to live in the same way other people do has been really hard. It means putting aside my own ideas about life and jobs and careers. While everyone else gets better stats, even at a shitty job. All I can do is sit at home and play games all day or sleep. All while things pile up around me literally.

Then my friend said it doesn't matter if I never work, if all I do is play games. Their sibling, who is also my friend, also told me that not everyone has to be doing something productive all the time or even at all. It's okay to be disabled. They're both hardworking people who earn their money. So it was a big deal they said this. That people's assumptions about me and others like me, are just wrong.

This allowed me to go down a healing process where I was able to re-evaluate my life. To determine what I'm capable of, but not by other peoples standards, by what I know myself to be capable of. Knowing that is the first step to anything. Even if it means I may never work at all. Being at peace with that and okay with that is a very big step forward.

It's okay to have goals, but sometimes we have to re-evaluate how those goals match up with our own capabilities. I'm not bad or gross or lazy because I don't work, or have trouble cleaning myself or my living space. I didn't just decide not to do those things. I have a hard time with them because of my condition. Forcing myself to live up to standards that will physically hurt me will only lead to more problems.

#autistic #autism #autistic adult #adhd problems #adhd things #adhd #personal #work #career #mental health #mental illness #incurable disease #disabled person

[ravenousnightwind]

Realizing that I was abused was a pretty big thing for me. It was how I began my process of healing. Then by having people who legitimately cared and wanted to be around me was also important. It set the foundation for security and change. My friends helped me heal, and through that process, I began to trust them in ways I'd never trusted anyone before. Consistency was and is a big part of this.

I've changed now in a way that is vastly different from the person I was. No longer afraid and lacking understanding, but confident and steadfast. Even though I did the majority of the work by having the willingness to move forward, by trying to learn and examine my flaws. My friends helped me rise above the trauma that stopped me from being who I really am. No longer do the wounds fester. Yet the scars remain. The pain may never fade completely, but I know who I am now. I know not only what I want and what I need, but I feel confident that things will be okay no matter what happens. It's all I can do is hope.

#autistic adult #adhd #depression #social anxiety #friendship #mental illness #mental disorder #mental health #abuse #trauma survivor #trauma

[ravenousnightwind]

I've finally drawn all the Straw Hat Pirates with Pokemon Teams! Individual posts below ⬇

Luffy | Zoro | Nami | Usopp | Sanji | Chopper | Robin | Franky | Brook | Jinbe

These are just my opinion and for fun!!!

[ravenousnightwind]

I had a pretty huge meltdown the other day. It was the longest I'd ever experienced. I don't even know for how long. However, I do know that once I got out of it, I felt better overall. Shaking, weird and loud noises. Nonsensical talking, slurring words, jibberish, inconsistent cognitive, and executive functions.

Afterwards my partner and I had this big argument where I cried mercilessly in the parking lot of our apartment complex, revealing all the things I felt about our relationship and his seemingly noninterest in me. My observations about him, and a lack of understanding why he acts the way he does with me, when he knows I have problems. Or he'd blame me for stuff I had no control over, or for the past he couldn't let go of. At the end, we concluded we needed to communicate more.

Part of me changed then, part of me died then. Part of me was born and reborn then. Idk how or what will happen, only that continuing on is the start of something new and different.

#relationship problems #autism spectrum #autistic adult #autistic meltdown

[ravenousnightwind]

Being autistic people have all kinds of ideas about what to expect from me. Not being able to do stuff to simply thinking I'm stupid. There are those that know me however that do see me as an equal with intelligence of high caliber. Yet, they also refuse to see the tendencies that are often accompanied with my condition.

I have a very specific way of doing things. Which means no loud noises, no loud music. People can get upset and wonder why, or argue about how unfair it is they have to give up their ability to listen freely. When I tell them it's because I might have some kind of emotional episode that could lead to irritation and potential violence, their response may be something akin to "you're not that autistic" and my response to it is "doesn't matter, the tendency is still there regardless and I struggle to maintain control at that point, which is something I dislike"

No response given then is taken as acceptable. Why though is it this way? Because overstimulation can lead to emotional outbursts. Which there's only so much of it I have control over. Especially now that I've already begun the process of "demasking". But because I'm very aware of my own tendencies, I can manage it pretty well and keep myself far away from that result because I can plan for things to happen.

At the end of the day, mitigation is key. I know I can never truly get rid of my own tendencies, but I can definitely lessen the impact or potentially prevent them from happening.

No longer do I fight against myself for control, I shape my environment with caring people, surround myself with things I like and love. I alter things as needed, and honestly, it's been one of the best ways I've been able to prevent any outbursts other than making sounds or crying loudly.

#autistic spectrum #autistic adult #adhd #autism #autism spectrum #autistic outburst #autistic things #autistic traits #autistic #support system #autistic stimming #autistic support #mental health #ableism #autistic masking #autistic logic #autistic mitigation #cognitive behavioral therapy

[ravenousnightwind]

A fantasy outfit/weapon design + a spell slinging scene commission for LevinLuxio!!

It takes a certain finesse to be a proper spell-blade, but it seems this Luxio's got his act down pat♥

OH YOU CLICKED READ MORE, have a flat version!

[ravenousnightwind]

Skaði, the jötunn and goddess associated with winter, snowy mountains, skiing. she is a skilled huntress, able to hunt on skis with her bow and arrow.

after her father Þjazi was killed, she went to asgard to confront the gods. she was offerred a marriage, and married njord, the god of the wind and the sea, though they eventually split because neither liked where the other lived. she is an outsider, determined, and fiercely independent, unafraid to confront the gods.

[ravenousnightwind]

If being lethargic brought me any kind of benefit, it's not freaking out over small stuff. To just go with it because there's not much I can do anyways. Sometimes all you can do is lay there. Sometimes you have to make choices, but you don't have to beat yourself up while doing it or freak the fuck out. Just focus on what you can control. Beyond that, it's just causing you more pain.

The more you struggle, the more the quicksand of your problems will drag you under. So do yourself a favor right now. Take a deep slow breath, and exhale. Shit is gonna be okay. You're gonna do what you can. If it all goes to shit, you're gonna figure shit out. Take another fucking breath, drink some fucking water. Let's do this, you got this!

#anxiety #depression #adhd #lethargic #disabled #autism #slow down #relax #breathe #positive mental attitude #mental health #mental health support #mental illness