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fate-defiant · 1 year

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I'm only like six episodes in (been trying to average out about an episode a day but it's an uphill battle my executives are dysfunctioning ok) but I have some Initial Thoughts on Utena I want to share so here's some Initial Thought on Utena:

I didn't look much into the marketing of the show but I do wonder how people initially responded like.... this was airing once a week right? I wonder how people responded to the first few episodes. If you're going in completely blind it really comes off as a particularly batshit shoujo. It's not hard to figure out that it's meant as a parody of sorts but still. What an Experience lmaoooooo

I know that rn we're only scratching the surface but still I like the things it sets up

Like that scene where Utena shows up in the boys uniform and Totally Owns The Teacher is like. Farcical. Category five and-everyone-clapped moment. There's already plenty in that alone.

Also Utena not being able to clearly recall how her desire to be a prince started being immediately being juxtaposed to Wakaba's recollection of a silly childhood memory. Something something the way this shit takes root and the absurdity of it all...

I know this is all baby level stuff don't laugh at me established Utena scholars

"Uuum this whole duel thing is so dumb you guys are like dumb" said Utena, taking no actions to like. Take off the ring. Refuse to participate.

Obviously it's not as simple as saying Nah but her protests still ring hollow

We get it she's lost in the sauce. She's lost in the sauce she needs to get outta that damn sauce or like properly examine how and why she's in the sauce and then at least like navigate her way toward the shallow end of the sauce.heh You see what I did there I totally did a metaphor there I'm so good at this hehe--

You know a big problem with examining systems of oppression is how they can trap you just by making you overthink how steeped we all are in them it's like an eldritch horror It's Literally Everywhere. Hard to focus on fighting back when you're also fighting the fucking. The despair the fatigue the confusion

It's like trying to root out a blackberry bush what the fuck this shit is neverending

That kangaroo really said fuck them kids

We haven't even scratched the surface of the incest and I'm already banging my head against the table. Why are they all like this.

And that is It so far thank you fir joining me on my journey towards expanding my horizons. Also look see I've been a Good Girl I've been doing my supplemental reading.

#now if you'll excuse me #im gonna kick back with a couple episodes of something easily digestible like idk. ninja turtles or motorcity #before i hop back onto Feminism: The Anime #Abolish Gender: The Anime #Death is Real and It's Gonna Happen: not the anime necessarily but the theme of utenas ascent up the stairs makes me feel existential #i mean i have like.opinions on how not acknowledging our time on this earth as frail and finite kinda makes ppl very fucked in the head #but that's it's own entire.thing #anyway.#off topic #im watching utena #<- my tag for when im watching utena and talking about how im watching utena #hey. Hey. i am watching utena #goodnight #fate.txt

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roseband · 24 days

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ppl complaining about the new legally blonde prequel coming out didn't seem to get the movie cause elle WAS interesting and smart from the get go????

"i have a 4.0...." "but in fashion merchandising"

girlie's got a business related degree from the beginning, even if it's a "frivolous" thing

i think u rlly missed the main idea?

#personal #omg no i want the FIT MPS in global fashion manageneny #management*** im rlly grumpy cuz like 3 yrs ago it was an MBA but now its an MPS ;^;#which i wanna try to shmooze my way into having my company pay for #(or hop to someone else who WILL pay cuz at work i built basically the same automation system VS has lmao #like my coworker who used to be at VS was like 'u made this....huh this is what VS contracted out')#BUUUUUUUUUUUUT like i was one of the top students in my class for my art school and ran a student org #and when i told ppl i wanted to do either animation or apparel with my graphic design degree ppl were sooo nasty #i mean like PROFESSORS and advisors /#:/#so i feel for the character lmao?????? cuz i know for a fact i earn more than my archi and a couple of my ui/ux friends who #like...arent at faangs so.........and im happier than them :)#like ive been on a product development design team as one of two artists for 2.5 years now #and like i have to be in the FASHION MERCHANDISING meetings #and....theyre business meetings about sourcing and costing and meeting minimums to make profits #its not cutesy clothing its....spreadsheets #and my art automation system is also based off of a spreadsheet :)

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skrunksthatwunk · 2 months

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wait why is dmc1 good

#not that i thought it was bad just #i mean listen. i've played the first couple of missions twice now but i finally like. y'know. went beyond that #it's just really really working for me in a way it didn't the previous two times #i'm still in this castle though. like i kinda feel like i'll never get out but that's probably not true right. that would be really weird #anyway i kinda got through the learning curve the first couple of times and i've been thinking about it and not playing it for days #and i've been nauseatingly hooked on sdv (again) since the 1.6 update. (70 hours. probably a little more. In The Past Like 2 Weeks. wth)#like i'm actually sick and antsy doing it but i can't stop like that kinda hooked. (boooo. i have more important shit to do...)#so i think it's like im purging with something a) new b) very different and c) that i've been thinking about for days #anyway fuck some of the platforming though. this should not be a game that requires me to hop on moving circles and shit #i'm not good at it but i'm having a good time :) also dante... dante's kinda silly... (<- can smell a blorbo on the rise)#i love his descriptions of things. he'll be like 'it's a statue of their glorious leader riding off to battle. psh whatever what am i doing #so yeah. hopefully i won't fall out of it again because i really do like it so far. but with my brain who knows

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devondespresso · 1 year

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i absolutely adore whenever Alexi pops up in fics and when people casually ignore his death like yeah hes been here the whole time hes just kinda quiet and hes got his slushie so he didn't really feel like chiming in to the conversation. also love when hes just there in modern aus as like murrays roommate or whatnot. he deserves to be immortalized

#stranger things #Alexi stranger things #i have no idea if im spelling his name right #i cannot fathom another spelling of it #stranger things season 3 #stranger things s3 #i can imagine a fun little scene where like ppl who haven't met Alexi are stopping by murrays or something #and theres someone out of the upside down loop there so murray has to play off why his roommates this Russian guy that hopper hates #and so hes just like yea this is my roommate alexi hes shy #and alexi only talks by whispering to murray and no one else so he doesn't give himself away #that could be so funny #but now im thinking angst wise if anyone in scoops troop but specific robin or steve heard murrays weird roommate talking in Russian #they'd totally freak #maybe have a panic attack or flashback or maybe run to hop or Joyce like #guys alexis a Russian spy we have to do something #and then an awkward conversation of yea we know he kinda committed treason i think and we didn't really talk about it #devon thinks sometimes

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ahsokaisawesome · 8 months

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Hometober Day 3

Today's prompt was "a vision of home", based on the 3 months of living with my aunt Lossie [yes she's my godmother] in her big mansion-like house. Her bedroom was one of my favourite places to be, it was the ideal master bedroom in the early 2000s and it was quite hard to pick a colour for it, but the soft yellows from the morning light made it look like heaven to me as a kid. More detail under the read more, but otherwise hope you enjoy!

My aunt was a co-CEO of a law firm with my uncle, so they lived very comfortably and supported all of her kids through school and extracurriculars. My cousins had the coolest bedrooms, the basement was massive and decked out [you might see it in a later entry] and her backyard was large and ornate, and had a fancy gate that led into a forest trail. A large portion of my time in Calgary was spent idolizing her and all she had, she was the pinnacle of success to me. She fed me the large double chocolate chip muffins, gave me fancy vitamins and her home was so huge it was like discovering a new city to explore. But as stated, her bedroom was my favourite. It started with an inside balcony with a fancy little desk and chair that led you to a beautiful ensuite where she placed my daycare projects. [I felt like I won a gold medal in life when I saw them there]. Then these giant white double doors led to the bedroom, very spacious and brightly lit, and the slanted roof ceiling was the coolest thing ever to me. She had gorgeous decorations and fancy throw pillows, and it led into the biggest bathroom and tub I have ever and still have ever seen. The entire area was like a princess' castle and I felt spoiled when she let me walk around and sit on the bed to watch TV. I wore fancy dresses and lace-trimmed socks [any Latino will know what I'm talking about] and I battted my lashes at everyone I spoke to because I thought it made me more ladylike and I wanted to fit in with the fancy lady vibes of the house.

Looking back on it, those 3 months were very important to my formative years, learning manners at the table and how to speak English very quickly [to specify these 3 months took place right after Christmas from the last picture so I had just turned 4] so I'm thankful she was able to cater for us and keep us above water while my parents managed immigration stuff. However, I recognize as well that these memories while precious to my childhood, were built on a painful falsehood. My aunt married my uncle and assumed her position at that building through the marriage, a building my mom and dad were hired to clean while I sat in one of the break rooms reading or staring at the jellybean jar in a glass stand down the hall. My aunt used her kindness and goodwill to keep my parents in her favour, and especially bent my dad's thoughts to her side of things. While I loved going to her house for parties and family reunions and playing with my cousins, she continued her guise while talking down my mom and sister. She used my idolizing of her against them, and the whole house was a beautiful glass present wrapped in fancy antiques and overcompensation for the children she did and didn't bear. I loved that house, and the good times I had. But if I ever visit it again, I know for sure it'll be in a brand new light. It was the last sense of "home" I felt before I moved to Ontario and sometimes I feel a small little piece of myself still clinging to the deep brown doors of her home and the upper-class vibes of the neighbourhood I still look back on fondly. Who knows, really.

#october prompts #october 2023 #drawtober #monochrome #calgary #bunart #estoy la #hometober #hometober 2023 #hometober day 3 #tia lossie's house is a very gray space for my memories #its one of the most confusing and conflicting memories I have #ive had many long and sad talks with my sister about it and even now i know i don't have the entire story #i sometimes get the urge to hop on the next plane there and kick her door down and confront her #but a girl needs time and patience and plan #maybe one day ill tell her how I feel and finally cut it off for good #she didnt have a perfect life being the second oldest of 9 #but i dont think any of it excuses what she did #im sure theres many reasons she wasnt there for her sister's 50th this past may #sorry this was a downer #but Im happy honestly to finally start expressing these feelings I've been humming and hawing about for years and years #thanks if youre reading this #your memories are yours to make of it #but dont let them consume the day to day joys and wins of now #or the love of those around you and yourself #have a great day!

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extervus · 9 months

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Jesus christ just realized I haven't like turned on my computer since Thursday, it's just been one of those weeks man

#shut up max #shit idk if im even gonna be in the mood to hop on anything today #i prolly should at least boot it up #but man ive just been so busy. which is both a blessing and a curse #on Friday i hung out with a friend and had dinner with him and that was a blast #<- biggest understatement of my life #and then i worked Saturday morning then went to go see that same friend's dad's band play at a bar afterwards #and then Sunday i worked a sexy 10 hour shift that made me looooooose my mind and also i was just like in a pissed off mood #and then Monday i had a corporate meeting in the afternoon and didn't get home till almost 6pm #but i hung out with a different friend for a few hours that night so that was fun to just like vent about work frustrations and shit #and now im typing up this post at work and i still have almost two hours to go #but i think im just gonna like clean the kitchen when i get home. the table is just fully covered in things and i neeeeeed to organize it #or else ill explode #but i also havent like. had a time to just sit to myself. ive either been working or going to meetings or hanging with friends #which dont get me wrong. Friday was sooooo fun and id take every opportunity to hang out with him if i could #but maaaaan ive been non stop doin somethin for almost a week now. not a single moment to sit and chill #unless im like showering or about to go to sleep

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prettyboysmlm · 10 months

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istg i’m gonna kms

#so i worked today #and i thought i worked 3-9 #but it was 2-9 #so i came in late #so i’m gonna have at the very least a fucking performance discussion for that #even tho it was an accident #and then #we have these plastic folder things on the counter #and i was sitting on the counter #and when i hopped off #i broke one #so now i’m definitely gonna get yelled at by the gym #*gm #and that’s just :))))) fucking great :))))))))#i already wanna quit since my favorite coworker is leaving #and this job requires me to be on my feet all day even tho i have chronic pain in my knees feet and back #and i don’t get paid enough #but i also can’t get a job anywhere else that’s better and pays more #bc im a minor #jesus fucking #im hiding in the bathroom rn crying bc i don’t wanna get yelled at by the manager working currently for breaking the folder #idk just. im gonna die maybe.#k.txt #vent tw

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supremeoverlordkat · 10 months

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I haven’t checked to see if Taylor’s been unhinged on tumblr lately I’ve been too busy following her around the country via tik tok @taylorswift I hope you’re okay and resting with the cats before you go international

#i love her but idk how she does it #just watching her and seeing her progress makes me tired #but I’ve been here since Tim McGraw im not hopping off now #the eras tour and the rerecords are both so great #bc as she relives her past I relive mine #a 28 year old me may have been the one seeing her #but she went for the 14 year old girl who danced around to fearless in her room and couldn’t afford tickets #and for the 16 year old who had to wait for her brother to leave so she wouldn’t get made fun of #but blasted speak now through her the computer speakers when he left #she’s just done so much for me my entire life and I hope she’s resting #she deserves rest #taylor swift

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pikkish · 2 years

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Jupiter Hell headcanons. Giv.

Headcanons? Plural? HECK YEAH DON'T MIND IF I DO

youtube

^^^also putting the cinematic trailer here bc its good and more people should watch it (and then go buy the game and play it for hours and give it a good review)

anyway yes I have lots of headcanons about this game and since I'm basically the only one posting about it here on tumblr there's no one to contradict me on them. also a lot of them parallel and/or contrast with Doom headcanons, since JH is largely inspired by Doom.

For starters, the CRI isn't inherently evil like the UAC. I mean, they definitely have problems, what with the Callisto mines being run primarily by prisoner labor, and the primary funder of the CRI being the us military so their main focus is war weapons, so they're just as twisted as any major government funded war profiteering company, but they're not actively going "hee hoo lets sacrifice our own employees in cult rituals to Hell for ~SCIENCE!~" They just went "Woah whats this funny pentagram thing buried in the heart of Europa? WOAH ITS A PORTAL TO IO!! SICK WE CAN INSTANTANEOUSLY TRAVEL BETWEEN MOONS hey wait there's another one here on Io YOOOOOO IS THIS A SPACE STATION INSIDE JUPITER??? WE SHOULD TOTALLY INVESTIGATE THIS!" And then it turned out it was a portal to Hell and they accidentally started the demonic invasion. Tough luck, guys.

As for the protagonist, JupeGuy, or Mark Taggart, as is his default name for each run, I like to think that for all his flippant, snarky comments throughout the game, he's actually a relatively sane, levelheaded character, especially compared to Doomguy. This is mostly inspired by the fact that, once you get to the Dante Station levels, he stops with all the silly snarky voicelines and gets a lot more serious and solemn in reacting to things, but there are a few other points that work well with the headcanon. He uses cover when fighting, he can actually pick up a medkit and store it in his backpack for later use instead of either using it immediately or leaving it behind, he can modify and repair weapons and armor, he can gather intel on what's ahead and plan which route he wants to take based on that intel, and he doesn't just go charging at the final boss screaming ferally (unless you're playing a melee build.) He's like Doomguy's smarter, more wary cousin!

He 100% did go to The Pit on Europa, and he did pet Rexio, and now he has a funny puppy that's like five feet taller than him and will maul anything that looks at him mean. Let the man have his pet hellhound.

Also speaking of pets, solely because Doomguy has Daisy, I headcanon JupeGuy also likes small, flluffy animals, though he tends more toward birds, specifically budgies. He had a little green budgie with a yellow head named Spinach.

Ok, just one more headcanon, though this one takes a bit of explaining: there's a secret level in JH called Purgatory, and it is... punishing, both to survive, and just to get to.

First, in order to get to it, you very much have to know what you're doing. First, you have to go to a specific branch on Callisto, which is the first moon you're on. If you miss it, you're out of luck. on each floor you have to close a portal within a pretty short time limit, which usually means tanking damage from all the enemies between it and you, and again, this is early-game, so you're relatively low level and don't exactly have the stats to be tanking like that. Then, you have to close two of these portals, minimum, when at maximum, there only are three portals, and sometimes, there are only two to begin with, depending on where the branch entrance is.

So if you manage to do that, you'll be given the "Demonic Attunment" status, which... well! It's entire description is just "Unknown," so it doesn't really give you a whole lot to go on! But, if you can make it to the branch special level and successfully fight off a handful of archreavers- essentially JH's equivalent of Barons of Hell- then so long as you have a high enough rank of Demonic Attunement, you can hit a handful of pillars in the right order (an upside down star, of course) to open the portal to Purgatory, which doesn't sound so difficult in theory, but those pillars are the only cover you get from the archreavers in the entire arena, and if you accidentally bump one out of order while seeking shelter from the archreavers, then you're out of luck, you can't open the portal.

BUT, if you do get everything right, and you go through the portal, congratulations! you have a whole new set of problems to worry about! For one thing, Purgatory is jam packed with late game enemies, and you're still using early game gear, maybe with a few buffs if the loot in the Callisto Anomaly was good. For another, Purgatory is a liminal space, and going up and then right does not take you to the same place as if you go right and then up, so it's very easy to get lost. And the final icing on the cake? You gain the "Catharsis" status, the description for which reads, "You've witnessed the Purgatory. Some wounds will never heal, and you're less motivated to learn from new experiences."

How does that translate to game mechanics? the "less motivated to learn" means you permanently get 20% less experience for killing enemies, so you level a lot slower, and "some wounds never heal" means that every time you go through one of the teleporters to the next room, you permanently lose a few points off your maximum health.

So what's the reward for going to Purgatory aside from the challenge of it, fighting the secret boss battle, and unlocking the second, harder hardest mode? Well, see, Jupiter Hell is a roguelike game, so all of the loot and weapons you get are randomized. But if you know the route- and I do mean really know the route, because again, going right and up is not the same as up then right, and the health loss applies when backtracking, too- you can get your pick of any of the unique weapons in the game, of which, in a non-purgatory run that goes to all three possible special levels, you are normally only guaranteed to get one unique, and a random one that may not work at all with your build. But in Purgatory, if you can survive there and back, you can get any of them that you want.

Now, the unique weapons are great and all, but if you know what you're doing, you can beat the game without one. So what's an even more powerful weapon, or perhaps, a more powerful defense against Hell itself, that which does its utmost to rip all the joy and hope and love out of you? What could possibly let you knowingly stand against and fight Hell itself like that?

Here's where the actual headcanon starts, because my answer is apathy.

Or, the achievement of catharsis.

Knowing that you're going to bleed forever, knowing that your achievements don't actually amount to all that much, knowing that you are going to go to Hell, choosing to go to Hell, and being okay with that. Being at peace with that. Because how can you truly be affected by misery and suffering if you have already made peace with your situation?

So I think that JupeGuy figured out pretty quickly that he was fighting demons and realized he wouldn't be going home, but to Hell instead. I don't know how he knew to get to Purgatory, since, like I said, it isn't readily apparent, but you pretty much need to know what you're doing in order to get there, so it was a conscious decision on his part. He chose to go there, chose to take up the burden of eternal pain, chose to lose the joy of learning new things, the excitement of life, he chose the horrible apathy of catharsis, all so that he could fight Hell itself and stop the invasion.

And I just think that's a terrible, awful, and incredibly interesting concept, of catharsis first being a bad thing, a painful thing, that only by knowingly, willingly choosing to bear that pain forever can one gain some meager benefit.

as a last note, here is the background music for Purgatory. I think it is absolutely terrifying and also sometimes I will listen to it on repeat and think about JupeGuy.

(I had to record this myself by sitting in the level and taking a video then converting that video to mp3, because no one's put the ost up on youtube, I don't know if/where you can officially download it, and apparently JH uses a weird filetype that I could not for the life of me find a tutorial on how to rip the soundfiles for. So idk if that's its actual name or what.)

#pikspeak #jupiter hell #thank u for asking me about jh i love it so much it is such a good game #i think you in particular would actually really like it. it feel very very much like classic doom to me #albeit with more stat management and reading and such #but it actually plays so SO fast for a turn based game #and has only marginally more lore than classic doom does #the vast majority of which is entirely just flavor text #which means there is SO much room for making up your own stuff lol #ive actually been thinking about a JHxModern Doom crossover au for a while now #in which doomguy and jupeguy are brothers and end up fending off their respective hell invasions at roughly the same time #and then things get funny while dg is in argent dnur and later when jupeguy gets back to earth #im sure ill talk about that sooner or later if people wanna hear it #also it was made by a small dev team and theyre still actively updating it even a year after launch #like the full game is definitely there but the devs are still adding the stuff from like #kickstarter goals that werent initially reached in the original kickstart #and i hopped on the discord a while back and everyone there is so nice #i was actually able to reach/beat the purgatory boss bc of tips they gave me #and they have a channel for posting your death/victory logs and #even though most of the ones people put there are like their super hardcore victories #both times ive put my little medium difficulty victories in there people have congratulated me #also i see the lead dev in the discord all the time especially in the bug report channel and the design suggestion channel #helping people troubleshoot and talking with them about their ideas for the game #basically what im saying is that its a super awesome game AND the devs seem super cool too #you should definitely play it. and let me know what you think of it if you do!!#we could yell at each other about ANOTHER silly stupid space marine...!

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