#im just mentally ill about them 🫠

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Gonna throw up If I can't talk about them-

Bunch of Aiden analysis under the cut because he's just SO OBSESSED CODED AND NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT 😭 (I will be very weird about it)

The way it's so doomed from the start. He's already so fascinated by her. It's in the little jump he does when she sits in front of him, like a secret they're both in on, like her sitting in front of him is some obscure way of her inviting him into a conversation.

Why is he like this (not positive but not negative either)

He has such a cocktail of personality traits and, most certainly, mental disorders, and his own history that makes it so, when he's in love, that it WILL blow up in his face.

The fact that he's been homeschooled for his entire life- he has no idea. HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW. He doesnt realize that its not normal. of course he doesn't :( His parents obviously leave him alone for long stretches of time and he doesn't seem to mind this. He hasn't had the chance to develop his social skills at all-

It's why he's so, let's be real, creepy. Ash makes it very clear she's not interested and he just keeps worming his way into her life. He plots so that she'll go on the field trip, he follows her around, he goes to her fucking house on the first day. LIKE, HELLO? RED FLAG?

He's having evil thoughts here I swear 💀

And already so quickly after meeting her he makes Ash his priority. He asks to sit next to her, he engages and makes an effort to talk to her. Tries to joke around with her. Gives her a nickname. Touches her. He's so touchy.

And defends her!!! When Tyler gets pissed at Ash, he honestly goes off on him even tho he KNOWS Ash can defend herself- and he's so...dark about it. There's a threat hidden behind his words. He's MAD here, right? Tell me I'm not crazy, please-

He also very clearly has violence on the forefront of his mind 💀 He's the first one to actively attack the phantoms; not to defend himself, not to defend somebody else (well, he pulls Ash out of the way), but for fun. And he's disappointed when they don't scream. He's sadistic, he likes causing pain, it's something he relishes in.

I mean look at how he smiles!!! None of the other kids have such an...active ENJOYMENT in fighting the phantoms, but for Aiden, it's almost like he finds relief in it, some way to vent out his frustrations. He's eager for a fight, for a thrill.

That's how Aiden sustains himself, he pretty much operates under "I'm here for a good time, not a long time." Everything he does gives him a boost of adrenaline, no matter the consequences. He got into a fight? Eh, who cares about all the bruises, at least it got his blood rushing. Broke a bone while doing parkour or smth? Whatever, the way his stomach dropped when he was falling as totally worth it.

It's a very dangerous mentality to live with, obviously. He's an adrenaline junkie. He's an addict. More than anything else, Aiden wants something that makes him feel alive.

And what makes you feel more alive than love?

Like not to minimise or anything but he's known her for like. 2-3 months- and he's already SO scared of losing her. Like I just don't think he would have had this type of reaction with anybody else besides Ben. He would have absolutely lost his shit if Ash 'died'.

He's a straight up love junkie. He's obsessive. Nothing beats the high love can give you. It overrules everything else. If Ash (or whoever he's interested in) feels bad because of smth, he's done with it.

He LIKED dying. He LIKED the adrenaline rush. But he won't do it again. Not because he had some realization that he didn't want to die, that he still wanted to live and do things, but because Ash was upset. Because this, this rush of care from her part, the way she was so scared of him dying that she was shaking, nothing could fill the hole in his heart better than that. And now that he has a taste for it, he won't let go easy. He will keep on living- if it means Ash will be by his side.

Which is a very dangerous position to put her in. Ash already feels responsible for her friends, and she doesn't even know that Aiden has "put" his life in her hands, not that it's her responsibility, because it isn't, but she will certainly feel responsible if Aiden does something FOR her.

Like He's so fucking obsessed and he doesn't even realize it- like look at how he sees her 😭 THE HEAVENLY GLOOOOOOW, LIKE SHES AN ANGEL AND HE THINKS SHE CAN SAVE HIM. BABY SHE CANT, YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF.

He could spiral so fucking bad. He could do some absolutely heinous things. Because he just doesn't know. He doesn't know how to love truly, yet. For him love really is that rush of adrenaline, the knife carving out his heart, he could be putty in her hands, or her executioner. This love that can be so obsessive, that he NEEDS it to function, like its water, like its the air he breathes. Its a compulsion, a fixation, a longing that burrows into your very soul. Ash doesn't even know what she's getting herself into-

Godddddd, it makes me so sick/ pos, it's SO FUCKING INTERESTINGGGGGG. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

I literally cannot function around this drawing 🫠

The. The hand. That way he's grabbing her. He's pulling her back. Towards HIM. like "this is mine. And I'm not sharing." And that little fucking look in his eyes, he just looks SO fucking pleased with himself. And Ash looks so...resigned. they're so doomed-coded, i love them so bad.

I don't know how I was supposed to NOT make a killer au, when he's just...like that around her.

Love is a wonderful thing. But love is also cruel, it is vicious, it is possessive and obsessive, and it will leave carnage in its wake.

Romantic love is an obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You cannot stop thinking about another human being. -Helen Fisher

#sbg #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg (webtoon) #aiden clark #ashlyn banner #aidlyn #aiden x ashlyn #im gonna scream #rip my teeth out #idk idk #im just mentally ill about them 🫠 #tw obsessive behavior

[mwahmichelle]

🎀 goals i have before 2024 🎀

these goals aren’t necessarily things i want to achieve / be able to do by then. just things i want to get into the habit of doing :)

physical goals

1. go to the gym three times a week

im kinda cheating with this one cus i already do this, but i want to be more productive (?) when i go. i also want to set a plan for those three days so i dont do random exercises. (eg arm day: 10 sets of _ exercise, ect.)

2. stretch and use the massagers every evening

my parents recently bought a foot massage machine, a hand massage machine and a neck massage machine. i used them for around two weeks before i stopped lol. i did notice a difference in how much pain and stiffness i was feeling throughout the day, so i want to start using them again, as well as using their back roller and leg bands to help me stretch.

3. walk my sisters dog four to five times a week

walking her dog was so difficult in the summer because of the heat, so hopefully it’ll be easier now that the weather is cooling down :,) its unrealistic to say that ill walk her (the dog)) every night, so ill stick to a minimum of four days :)

study and work goals

1. work every day

sigh. i have a schedule where i work ~30-60 minutes every day, and 8 hours once a week. sounds easy. and it is. i just have problems with discipline, so i’ve been skipping a few days 🤥 that is not good, so i need to focus >:(

2. do homework the day its assigned 🗣️🗣️

in the past, i did all sorts of mental gymnastics to convince myself to do my homework the day before the lesson, but i end up just not doing it 💀 my teachers get pretty worked up about it, as does my mother lol. rightfully so tbh.

3. study ⁉️

i adore studying, so why am i not studying 🤨 makes no sense 🥱 lets get to it, mkay??

self improvement goals

1. self care sunday (morning…)

i have classes every sunday afternoon, but they’re pretty chill, pretty enjoyable :) the main issue with self care sunday, is that most of the time, i dont do enough during the week to deserve them lmfao. its like every day is self care day 🫠

2. explore the city twice a month

i moved to a new city back in february, and still don’t know anyone or anything abt it 😧 i need (!!) to get out more. like, no joke. with my busy schedule, twice a month is the least i can guarantee. its more than i’ve done the past 8 months 🤷🏼‍♀️

3. read and meditate every evening

this one should be easy, but alas. i’ve never been able to meditate, and reading every evening is difficult when u don’t have any books 😺 i shall try my best anyways…

yuh these are my goals ✨

i tried to make them achievable, so no excuses 😠

#take a shot for every time i wrote ‘so’ #becoming that girl #goals #studyblr

[stonerosestank]

hi there 🤍

they aren’t coming anywhere near me this year so i don’t think i’ll be able to but i would’ve loved to </3 also i actually haven’t seen their setlist so i have no idea which older songs they’re still performing it’s wild to think they have three more albums since i saw them lmao and i hate how expensive resale tickets are nowadays and how a lot of them end up being scams. fuck those ppl for stealing from fans.

she calls me back with those drums and that guitar gives me such roadtrip vibes i need to do it at some point in my life. and i never thought of part of me as like a maybe niall/1d song but you’re so right! they share a similar structure. and anyway just hits me square in the chest every fucking time idk what he put in that song but my mental illness cannot get over it ❤️‍🩹

i definitely recommend about time for a quiet night in bed with some comfort food, it’s a very domestic? and casual? romcom but with a magical twist that adds a hint of (more?) drama to the story. and sex life of college girls is deadpan hilarious, i’ve been loving the second season so much, they’re all dramatic and a little problematic but ultimately pretty much what you’d expect from college girls lmao and oh i hope you get to watch young royals soon! my heart ached so much for wilhem and simon the whole season and there’s a couple of characters that i just 💀 drama drama drama all over again rip

here’s some more love since it’s midweek and a little push to finish off the week is always appreciated imo 💖💕💗💓💞💝

- ☁️

hiiii ✨

it sucks they aren’t coming anywhere close to u 😔 and no literally the resale prices for everything are insane and i hate it so much!!!! i’ve seen so many people selling $30 concert tickets for $300+ and for what??? it’s the most annoying thing

omg yes!!! the roadtrip vibes!!! manifesting u can do that it would be amazing 🫶🏻 also ur so right about anyway it’s painful 😭 i had to sit in silence for a min after i listened to it the first time fjshsjs

i love movies like that!!! anything cozy and im down for it. and im definitely adding sex life of college girls to my watchlist now!! it sounds like my kind of show!! also please can the universe just let wilhem and simon be happy 😭😭 there was so much drama in season 1 im not sure im ready for all the season 2 drama 🫠😭

thank u 💗✨ i got overstimulated in the grocery store so any love is appreciated fjshsjs sending u good vibes for the rest of ur week/weekend 💗💗🫶🏻

#☁️ #holiday pal ✨ #asks