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rearranging-deck-chairs · 2 years

Video

ive been watching this series on netflix called echoes (spoilers next if you care to watch it) i wasnt super into it especially in the beginning bc the dialogue and exposition are pretty clunky and cliché but then this scene happened and i laughed out loud with delight and then was immediately like 'ohh thoschei au'

so this series is about two twin sisters who have made it a habit since childhood of pretending to be each other for long periods of time. it starts when they accidentally push their older sister off a tower and she gets hurt pretty bad. the one sister, leni, is like “you’ll get punished for this gina, but if we pretend to be each other, i can keep you safe” so they switch identities and live as each other for a bit.

they keep switching to get out of trouble throughout their childhood and they also share everything. they get in a fight once bc one of them (i think probably gina) had a secret and leni found out and was pissed. from then on she was like “we’ll keep this shared diary and we can have secrets from each other but not the diary”

they share a boyfriend until the boyfriend has sex with leni and gina feels like she should maybe get her own life independent from her sister. so she goes and gets a boyfriend. leni gets jealous and sets a fire in the church where gina and her boyfriend have sex once. the church burns down and leni does her old trick of “switch identities with me gina, then i can make sure you dont get in trouble for this” and she basically pins the arson on gina’s boyfriend who gets a bad reputation and has to leave town for a while. you get the idea of this whole switching thing.

the reason i think this scene where gina demonstrates how easy it is to switch works so well is because as an audience member you keep being kept on the back foot. the serie starts with us following who we think is gina. we get her pov. she lives in hollywood and goes home for the first time in a while to the country because her sister (”leni”) is missing. she goes home to try and help find her and finds all kinds of weird mysterious sketchy shit that “leni” has left for her. at the end of the first episode she finds a message from “leni” thats like, leni’s clothes on a doll thats left in some secret spot they both knew with a note that says “you get both lives. choose”. so “gina” is like “wtf leni??” and she goes home pretending to be Leni The Daughter Returned and she decides to play both gina and leni for a while to figure out where leni is and what shes doing.

but so at the end of that first episode where we THOUGHT we had been following GINA the entire time, “gina” decides to play both parts for a bit and in voiceover says “okay gina, i’ll go back to being leni for a bit”. so from the first episode youre made unsure of who youre watching. because leni had been living gina’s life for a year before returning home and going back to being leni. if youre more smart than my dad and i are then it’s probably super clear and easy to follow but for the first half of the series my dad and i kept asking each other “wait so this is leni?” “is this gina?” “is gina now pretending to be leni or is this leni pretending to be gina pretending to be leni?” etc

for the next couple episodes as we now realise we’re in leni’s pov not gina’s, we get to know gina as someone who seems to have been fucking up leni’s life from the inside. stealing a baby horse and some ketamine maybe, having an affair, letting out some horses from the stables, idk im not good with plot but some stuff like that gina has been stirring shit up and now shes missing. so leni is pretending to be both sisters for a while while she tries to get answers about what troublemaker gina was up to and what shes done to leni’s life.

but then at some point the a little past half the series i think, we switch to gina’s pov, we get to see what gina-pretending-to-be-leni for the past year has been doing, and our sympathies switch. instead of gina being the troublemaker we get the impression of gina just trying to wrestle herself free from her sister’s control. because as she says in the clip, theyve been switching lives every year on their birthday since the birth of leni’s daughter, who is like 12 now. leni got married to her high school sweetheart who they already shared back and gina is with someone in hollywood (her THERAPIST lets not get into it ghkgkjgj). so theyre sharing lives, sharing husbands, sharing a child, and nobody knows about this except the two of them (and turns out later the therapist husband too, he went along with it. this whole situation is fucking great)

in the last episode and their house burns down and leni tries to keep gina from escaping the burning house, fails to do so, and then chases gina into the woods. leni is like “nobody understands, why dont you understand i love you more than anything” shes chasing her sister through the woods yelling “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH COME BACK TO ME” it’s Good Shit. leni is like “come home” and gina says “i have no home” and leni goes “IM your home”. GOOD SHIT.

gina tries to get away by crossing a river over a waterfall and leni tries to drown her, they struggle, some family secrets and misunderstandings are brought to light and leni always tried to protect gina from everything etc etc “i had to take care of us. i always take care of us. just come back to me so we can be together” and gina says no and jumps off the waterfall. leni then goes to find gina’s husband charlie and i wish i could put the scene in here but i cant so heres a transcript:

CHARLIE: What happened? LENI: Didn’t the sheriff find you? CHARLIE: She did. THey think it was a suicide. I don’t believe that. LENI: I tried to stop her. CHARLIE: She went over the falls. LENI: Yes. CHARLIE: Why? What did you do? LENI: I didn’t push her! Jesus! CHARLIE: That’s not what I meant. I just want to know what happened. LENI: I followed her into the forest. I told her how much I loved her. It didn’t matter. There was something so broken inside her that no amount of love could heal. CHARLIE: I know there’s a deep hurt in both of you. LENI: You knew. All these years. Why didn’t you say anything? CHARLIE: I thought I was doing the right thing. Being present. Accepting, loving you. LENI: Watching, judging, playing along. CHARLIE: Was it play, for you, Leni? Because it wasn’t for me. It was a life. LENI: Two lives. CHARLIE: Yes. LENI: And now? CHARLIE: Do you think she’s dead? LENI: I don’t know. I thought I’d know. Wouldn’t I know? CHARLIE: You know there’s two images I can’t get rid of. The first one is her body. On the shore of the rvier somewhere in the darkness. Waiting. THe second one is she’s on a bus. Or a plane or something. And she’s happy. But in both cases, I can’t talk to her. I can’t touch her. I can’t hear the sound of her voice. She’s just gone. WIthout a goodbye or any kind of resolution. It’s unfinished. You are her. And not her. LENI: I’m so sorry Charlie. CHARLIE: (he holds her face like hes gonna kiss her) I never judged. I watched, I went along, but I never judged. And I loved both of you. LENI: I love you too. (he doesnt kiss her and leaves)

then at the end of the episode, after a scene in which leni leaves the country with a fake passport and gets told by the airport employee “hey werent you here a few days ago too?” and she goes all “uh no? someone who looked exactly like me? how funny. nope wasnt me :) but out of curiosity where did she go?” after all that theres a scene where charlie reads from the book hes written about leni and gina in a bookstore and someone in a hat and glasses in the back asks him whether gina’s body was ever found. then he goes home and theres someone there and THAT scene goes like this:

CHARLIE: You know it felt silly sometimes, not changing the locks. Like I was holding out too much hope. Not being realistic. GENA??: That doesn’t sound like you. CHARLIE: Well this changed me. Probably for the better. GENA: Thats nice to hear. CHARLIE: You prefer a twist if I remember correctly. GENA: That’s right. CHARLIE: I did think the hat and glasses were a bit much though. GENA: Hat and glasses? CHARLIE: Yes, at the reading, just now? That was you right? Asking the first question? GENA: No? I’ve been waiting here tonight for over an hour. CHARLIE: Hmm... GENA: Hmm ;) CHARLIE: I’ll find out, you know, which one you are. GENA: Maybe. Maybe even I don’t know any more.

anyway so now im contemplating a fucked up codependent thoschei twins au

#mostly just posting this so that if i start posting about some fucked up codependent twins thoschei au you can follow the tag and know what #im talking about gkfjhgjgh #but this whole like #identity thing #and the 'i love you more than anything ive always taken care of us'#and all the murders also #and the fires #thoschei twins au #also like the way in that clip that when gina takes on leni's personality she doesnt just do the mannerisms and stuff #but she immediately starts basically slandering herself #like as leni #shes like 'well gina is fucked up and unstable and you cant trust a word she says'#HMMM GOOD SHIT #it's about the uhhh your self image being so tied to another person #at one point the cop is like 'ive been thinking of these two as two people but i think i need to tthink of them as one person.#maybe then i'll get somewhere'#and also just the. living as each other?? LIKE JUST TAKING EACH OTHER"S HUSBANDS??? FOOLING YOUR KID??#the writing isnt super strong but the PREMISE #the premise is really fun #hence thoschei au

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bangtansfavwriter · 4 years

Text

💘bangtan as boyfriends: jungkook💘

-oh my god this soft boy

-still can't quite believe you guys are dating and sometimes still blushes very heavily when you kiss him

- it took ages for him to ask you out and he probably wouldn't have done it without a pep talk from seokjin who hyped him up before you and jungkook went on a date together

- he was so timid and tripped over his words a lot, so when you asked "are you saying we should start dating?" he went "oh my god yES PLS"

-he know tells everyone that you asked him out first bc "the golden maknae of bts, bangtan sonyeondan, behind the scene, world's best band tbh has to be asked out"

seokjin: makes sense, bc said golden maknae looked like he was gonna pass tf out before you two met

jk: .. hyung why you.... I asked y/n out!

seokjin: lies

you: he did... kinda

seokjin: LIES

jk: I find your lack of faith disturbing, hyung..

seokjin: nerd 😚

jk: 😔✊🏼

- a nerd indeed, but cuteee

- very loyal, it already took him long enough to call you his, so he sure af won't give you up

- also very selfless, he loves helping you out with whatever you need help with... even when you don't ask for it

- like when you had a project due and you were stressing out about it bc you had no time for anything else and stuff... he was really worried you'd skip meals to do your work, so he made sure that you'd eat by either coming to your place or calling/texting you, whenever he couldn't come over personally

-he was afraid he'd bother you while you do your work so he was always very cautious but you reassured him it's fine

-but you felt bad bc you couldn't talk much while doing your work... he looked at you and smiled: "it's ok, I'll write some lyrics maybe.. and you do you. we'll give each other strength with our presence, alright?" he started laughing when you got up and cozied up to him. you spent the next 10 mins cuddling, as this was the only reasonable thing to do after he was being so sweet. "so much for no distractions, hm?"

- you still got your work done btw, so no worries

- movie nights are a huge thing for you two, your range is broad af but mostly consists of marvel, disney and studio ghibli. he has a thing for 80s movies tho, felt ferris bueller on a personal level

- cried when he watched the princess diaries for the first time and will end u if anyone hears about it

-rather savage irl but he cries during some movies, especially when he's tired, he gets emotional and even whiny

- for example: he was very sleepy when you first watched the mandalorian together and you swear he started weeping when he first saw baby yoda and he's been obsessed ever since btw

- very thoughtful and caring

- remembers the smallest things about you, will bring you your fav ben&jerry's when you feel down and enjoys the fact that you look at him like the saint he is

- also memorizes your habits and reads your body language so well that it still surprises you even after all the time you've been dating

-you poke his cheeks on any given occasion and kiss his nose, he's not quite sure why but he enjoys it too

- his hugs are just warm ... they make you feel like everything will be ok

- many pancake mornings together

- will never ever forget any birthday or anniversary, he once did tho and he still beats himself up about it but he was busy as hell during that time so you were ok with it in hindsight (which was greatly appreciated bc he truly felt awful)

- very down-to-earth, it doesn't have to be all fancy with him, he's doing just fine with netflix and ramen

- your personal laundry fairy

- looots of laughter and giggles with this one, always cracking jokes

- you guys have like 48394 insides jokes

you: hey.. hey

jk: ?

you: second goose right left

jk: LMAOOOOO WOFT

you: LMAOOO

jk and you: -dying-

rm: this sounds like some terror code

hobi: or a stroke

- sends u memes at 3am, his go-to are kermit memes as reaction memes, he sometimes forgets to use actual words tbh

you: kook, i can't come over today, working late :( but tomorrow is fine tho, you free ?

jk: -kermit crying under the shower meme-

you: jungkook, words pls

jk: oh sorry babe, yeah im free 🤗

- either uses the cutest nicknames or the weirdest which are pretty cute when he explains it (like left shark "bc you stand out")

- displays of 'strong manly man' when he picks you up, and spins you around only to kiss you --- displays of 'babie boy's when pouts until you give him attention or your last pockys ("we can share, you know 👀" - "oh worm? 👀")

- a true romantic deep down, he once surprised you when he decorated your entire house with candles and flowers bc he knew you had a tough time and you legit just started crying. he was overwhelmed for a sec but knew this was just bottled up emotions and relief coming through so he just smiled and hugged you until you calmed down."it's alright, love... let me take care of you." you nodded and smiled at him, while wiping your tears away. "you're the sweetest, you know that?" - "well, obviously. but fire safety was never my forte, so let's be careful, ok?" he said and you both started laughing.

-sings to you very very often, get used to it, even when you're not right next to him you can still hear him humming from afar and it makes always makes u smile

-you two are fiercely competitive, there is no "it's just a game"... you guys play mario, sonic, rayman etc and there's always a whole lot of screaming

-there was a time namjoon jin got so fed up with this that he took the playstation away (+ mario kart) and jungkook and you had to find other gaming options

-some examples of truth or dare sessions between you (in the safety of your own home):

you: i dare you to dance to begin

jk, in his pyjamas: wha- ... no!

you: truth it is, then. what was the dumpling incident about?

jk: nevermind, I'll do the dance.

you: squeeze the ketchup bottle empty with your thighs.

jk: ?????? jesus, you take your kinks to a whole knew level. choose something else, the stains will be nasty as hell.

you: wear booty shorts👀

jk: you wants thighs and booty, huh? 👀

you: you bet 👀👀

(a blessed day for u tbh)

jk: babe, i dare you to dance to fire.

you: ?????? well, I can try, but you should get me an inhaler, my lung capacity may not suffice for this

(jungkook laughed so hard when did it that he was the one that needed an inhaler)

-takes lots and loots of pics of you when you're together and of the location you went together , posts the view on twitter sometimes and jokes about you two being official (to fans) without really being official

- you two go on walks together, have coffee shop dates, go to concerts (and go fckn feral when u go see iu), visit art galleries where you mostly imitate everything and touch things you shouldn't touch, go to karaoke places ... and you also do art together! that was actually his idea were he bought a shitload of acrylic paint and huge linen sheets and you had your first painting date, which has become a tradition ever since.

- something that jungkook absolutely loves and appreciates is that you guys never run out of topics to talk about

-the intellectual stimulation he gets from you is pretty much unmatched and that's also something that made him realise he's into you before you started dating

- 2 sides of the same coin: smart, charming and kind // absolute crackhead (remember the vid with his goggles? vids like that are now your exclusive content from yours truly)

- once chased down chickens when you visited a village together and ran away screaming when a huge ass rooster chased after him ( u filmed it ofc)

- lives for dramatics, gains new life power on Halloween when you two do shenanigans on bighit's annual party

- he loves the fact that you're still a child at heart and that you're not too stuck up to scare hobi and jin with michael myers masks on (but you did feel pretty bad about it when hobi almost fainted)

- you're super savage when you want to be and he loves it when you are... ngl... you being assertive and all kinda turns him on lmaoo

-your green card to get him to laugh whenever was saying "you sexy beast" and he'd forget whatever issue you were having before, as long as it wasn't something too important obviously

-loves you show you off, especially when you guys are all dolled up and ready for a night out "look at us being all sexy and shit, like, how dare we look this hot, jimin-hyung hates it when someone looks hotter than him" - "hmmm kook, imagine if I'd have jimin as my date today, the place would burn up" - "...." - "kook, i was joking..." - "right shark" - "I WAS JOKING BABY" - "........say it. you know the deal." - "i would rather die" - "go hang with hyung then, i'm gonna stay home" - "you...." -

👀👂 - "YOU SEXY BEAST" - jungkook laughed until he couldn't breathe when yoongi, who just passed by you two, and you stared at each other, completely mortified. you: how to unsay things... / yoongs: how to unhear things/ jk: -on the floor and in dire need of an inhaler"

- you couldn't face yoongi the whole night, whereas jungkook occasionally stared down jimin who had no clue what the heck was going on and munched on some appetizers

- jealousy is not a big thing for him but he still doesn't quite like it when someone is too touchy with you

- he trusts you, absolutely no doubt about that or he wouldn't have even entered a relationship with you, as he has high standards about who to let into his life, especially with potential lovers

-that's why everyone knew you guys were serious about each other and it was hardly surprising that you got to meet his family shortly after you guys started dating (his mother loved you btw)

-has like 200 pics of the day you met gureum

- an absolute sucker for you, you could say you want the n seoul tower to flicker in purple and pink lights and he would get it done somehow

- very sensitive to touches so ......👀

- loves your room bc he says it always smells like your lotions and laundry

- you sometimes surprise by setting the mood with some smooth music and nice fragrances and the world comes to a halt for him, it's just him and you

-shower him in affection and he's putty in your hands, legit, when he first performed euphoria and did the high note at the end you spammed tf outta your messenger and hyped him up and he actually got so hype he jumped around backstage after the concert and sprinted to you when he saw you, twirled you around and, for the first time, kissed you while the guys were there

-he still gets teased about it tho, but he doesn't really care bc your support means the world to him and he values it too much to care about the guys

-you guys went home that night and he serenaded you while you were cuddling. you guys started talking about songs, especially your favourites. you got sleepy when he started talking about 'home' and softly sang it to you, until he realised you dozed off. he smiled to himself and caressed you hair, as you had layed your head onto his chest. admiring your sleeping figure, closely entangled with his broad frame, he said to himself: "this is home..."

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adhd-sorcha · 4 years

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Im trying to get into the medical field and I have a super hard time with adhd. Any advice for getting through all that schooling?

I am soooo sorry I took so long to answer this (good thing you didn’t go on anon!). I have no excuse, I’m just like this.

Before I get into anything, I just want to say that I was only diagnosed a few months ago, so I didn’t go through school consciously coming up with ADHD-busting strategies and there were definitely mysterious difficulties that I’m only now understanding but at the time I never managed to sort (*shakes fist at essay based subjects/exams*). I will tell you what I think were my accidental ADHD-helping techniques though! One other thing, I have predominantly inattentive ADHD ( or formerly ADD) so if you or anyone else are looking for tips on how to stay seated for extended periods or anything like that, I’m afraid I’m no help there. Sorry!! Also, since I don’t know what stage you’re at school-wise, I’ll include things that I found useful in secondary school too, in case it’s useful.

So, in no particular order! (this may get long...)

- Diary, diary, diary: In the schools (primary and secondary) here in Ireland you get given a diary at the start of the year. At the end of every class, the teacher writes up the homework and we copy it into our diaries. Great system!! The diary is only for school so it never needs to leave your school bag, so it should be hard enough to forget. I used to only write short notes, eg. Maths: pg 20, part a-e or something like that. It makes it easy to look through at the end of the day when collecting your books to bring home. I used to look at one line, put those books in my bag, then look at the next line. One at a time. And I often double-checked. It made me slower to get ready to leave than everyone else, but hey! I remembered my stuff! I got myself a diary for college when I moved on. They are soooo helpful. And it’s so satisfying to tick things off as you do them!!

- Have ONE school bag: Might sound weird, but I know people who, in college, just bring whatever handbag matches their outfit that day. No! You’re going to forget to transfer something over. With one bag, you can keep your school diary and pens and student card and things like that in it. They will always be in there. No need to go moving them around, they’ll only get lost if you do that. It just helps to limit the things that you have to remember to bring with you, if your bag is already kind of packed as a default.

- Take advantage of desk/locker space: Keep spare items at your desk/in your locker so that even if you forget to put them in your bag, you’re still covered. Things that I’ve kept at desks/in lockers include: spare pair of glasses, hair ties for labs, spare writing paper (so it doesn’t matter if you forgot your copy!), pens/highlighters/pencils, socks (it rains a lot here, probably not the most relevant...). Absolutely anything that you think you may be likely to forget and is safe to leave at school just keep a spare one already there! (maybe don’t leave valuables...)

- Set your timetable as your lockscreen/homescreen: I’ve never done this one personally. I kept my timetable in my diary. I find it easier to read. But, I know a few people who used to make out their timetable in Word or something and set that as the lockscreen on their phone. People tend to keep their phones somewhere that’s easy to reach, so it shouldn’t conflict too much with executive dysfunction or anything like that.

- Routine: Having a set routine can really help with getting homework done. It becomes a habit and so a certain amount becomes automatic. I used to do mine as soon as I got home from school/college. And I had a set time for when to start my work at the weekends.

- Bring the lecture slides to lectures: I assume this will vary by college, but our lecturers used to post their lecture slides to the class site before the lecture so you could bring them to class. You could either bring the pdf on a tablet/laptop or print them off. (If you’re using a tablet/laptop you can always download the notes when you get there so it’s okay if you forgot to do it before class!). I found these helpful because I only had to make note of the extra information that the lecturer said out loud or I could just highlight important words, thereby limiting the amount I actually had to write. When I just had blank paper, I was always trying to write everything for some reason and just became lost...

- Make study notes that suit you! I remember being shown in school how to make notes when studying. But I found the standard neat lines, black/blue pen that teachers wanted didn’t work for me. They were boring to look at so they were boring to use. So I made them interesting! I used lots of colourful pens, sticky notes just to create little ‘boxes’, scribbled in the margins, drew labelled diagrams instead of putting some things into words. People would actually ask from time to time how I studied from them XD Study notes are one of those things that we’re taught how to do, but there really isn’t a one size fits all approach to it, so don’t be afraid to do different things with your notes. I used mind maps to study history in school! Here’s an example of my 3rd year pharmacology notes (believe it or not there isn’t any colour-coding XD I just went with what was fun!).

- Have a study buddy: This seriously helped me when I moved from school to college. The two girls I became friends with in first year were so much better at organising study and assignment work between lectures than I was. They’d just automatically go to the library to get stuff done between lectures so I went with them and just worked on whatever they were working on. Having them around kept me on track. We did this informally (by which I mean I’ve only recently come to realise that copying their behaviour is why I got through my first two years so well, they have no idea that that’s what I was doing XD), but you could always formalise something like this with someone. There is no shame in needing someone to help you organise your study or needing someone around to work on assignments together. You don’t have to do education on your own.

- Have multiple study places: I know study advice normally says have one dedicated location for study, but that gets so boring. I might be able to study at my desk in my room this month but then it gets boring and I can’t study. So, I have multiple dedicated locations for study. My desk at my room, the main college library, library on a different campus. People with ADHD like novelty, so sometimes I find having a change in study scenery can help focus on work!

- ASK FOR HELP: To be fair, this is one I still struggle with myself. But honestly, so many problems can be solved so easily if you just tell someone about them. Can’t remember when that exam is happening? Ask. Don’t know how to make that application/do that assignment? Ask. What did those instructions even mean? Ask. Forget where that office is? Ask. So many educators, particularly at third level, genuinely want their students to do well, but they can’t help if they don’t know you need it. I know for myself I don’t want people to know how disorganised or confused I get so I put off asking questions, but the sooner you ask, the sooner the problem gets fixed!

- If you need to do something differently, do it differently: Before I started my leave I was starting to realise that my having ADHD meant that I would have to do things differently to my neurotypical labmates. I was going to need to write more reminders of basic things for myself and stick them all over my bench. I was probably going to generate data more slowly than them because time management and organisation is difficult for me. I was going to need to have a detailed protocol next to me at all times instead of knowing the procedure off by heart like the rest of them. The neurotypical way is not the only way. Doing something differently does not make it wrong.

- Be kind to yourself: The education system is tough enough on it’s own, but those of us with ADHD have some extra obstacles in our way. There really is no point in comparing yourself to someone who doesn’t have ADHD (or similar problems) and berating yourself for not getting as much done as them or doing something slower etc etc. Don’t let ADHD limit you by any means, just remember that the route to success looks different for different people.

I think I’ll stop it here. This is getting quite long! Like I said, I’m newly diagnosed so there are things that I’m still struggling with myself (time-management is a big one!! I am 100% unqualified to give people advice on that one!!) and the things that I have done well have been more lucky accident than anything else. I hope these are somewhat helpful? Feel free to ask anymore questions though! And I wish you the best of luck with getting into medicine!!

#asks #tips #neurodivergent academia #adhd #actually adhd

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notatypicaldimension · 6 years

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Tagged!

Thanks for tagging me @theragamuffininitiative !

I tag @hurtbyintensejourneys @thylovelylionheart @falconhawk9

— what was your last…

1. drink: tea!

2. phone call: my mom.

3. text message: to a group chat with friends

4. song you listened to: “Meltdown” by Lorde, Q-Tip, Push, HAIM, Stromae

5. time you cried: uuuhhh I think it was a couple of days ago, when I was just trying to get out of some pretty bad states and actually felt OK enough to cry so it was a good thing!

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: No.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: No.

8. been cheated on: No.

9. lost someone special: Sorta....if the term is used quite broadly.

10. been depressed: Haha. Yes. Ofc.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Niet.

— fave colours

12. Purple, or gray/black scale probably.

13. I actually quite like brown....so maybe that?

14. Hm. Probably a deep navy? Like a sailor outfit blue?

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: Yes. Absolutely.

16. fallen out of love: No.

17. laughed until you cried: lol yes (thank you to theinsanereader for your book wedding video)

18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes!

19. met someone who changed you: Hahahahah...yeeeesss. Helped me a lot tbh.

20. found out who your friends are: In a way. Like it’s not that I didn’t know before, it’s more like now I understand it better in terms of human leanings etc.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Uuuhhhhh....no, not on the lips.

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Nearly everyone, there are a few I only know via the internet somehow, but I still know them from everyday things, or I have already met them.

23. do you have any pets: Nope!

24. do you want to change your name: No.

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Oh boy. It was a weird day but good. I spent time with a cute lil kiddo, went on a walk and saw lots of flowers, watched an episode of doctor who, went out for starbucks with a friend, and got to hold a baby amongst some other more ritualistic things.

26. what time did you wake up today: like, 10:30 or so.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Probably just listening to music and...um...maybe writing down in my diary or something?? idek.

28. what is something you can’t wait for: Hmm...this is gonna sound lame but fr I have very little social life so seeing a couple of friends once their schooltime frees up a bit more or whatever....oh! and also my little sister is competing this weekend o I can’t wait to go and watch her and her team :)

30. what are you listening to right now: Static, for the most part, and in the muffled background, my family just doing everyday things (lil screeches, telling offs, whAT?! etc.) lol.

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: For sure.

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: HA. The government, and some approaches that the American Evangelical Church seems to be oblivious to or non-sympathetic smh.

33. most visited website: “Youtube and Tumblr are probably about equal.” (lol same)

34. hair colour: Brown.

35. long or short hair: Long..

36. do you have a crush on someone: No... at least I don’t think so. Idek if I get crushes or whatever idek it’s confusing moving on

37. what do you like about yourself: Ooh. I like that the single most re-occuring obstacle in my life is that I’m so confusing to both myself (im still learning its ok to be me) and the entire world that it’s very, VERY conflicting in odd ways and that that is what makes everything mean things to me.....it’s like my essence etc. and I now know my main passion etc......tl;dr I like that I’ve figured out what the single epitome of most of what I am is and how its path has severely been distraught, and that though it’s going to take a lot of work to get back, it’s also just going to be the most incredible thing.

38. want any piercings: nope.

39. blood type: sis, if y’all think I’m gonna put out vip information like that on this already crackhead-justice owned website by same-type company like yahoo, y’all are w r o n g.

40. nicknames: Uuuuhhhh. idk. @hurtbyintensejourneys , you should give me one.

41. relationship status: Single. And probably most definitely not ready to mingle (but it’s ok! I’ll be someday, sometime soon...ish)

42. sign: Taurus. But I don’t follow horoscopes.

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: Idek anymore....I love Lie to me, and like rags said, Fringe (tho I am still on like s2 aahh), and maybe Doctor who? I actually love Granite flats and GMW/BMW as well tho.

45. tattoos: Nope.

46. right or left handed: Right-handed.

47. ever had surgery: Nope.

48. piercings: No.

49. sport: Alrighty; look, I will watch just about anything even though I’m bad at it....I think it has something to do with an interest in developing my recognizing of stuff/talent???? also it’s v cool.

50. vacation: uuuhhh????? Probably my last “”vacation”” was in California? idek.

51. trainers: I think they’re Nike.

— more general

52. eating: I just want some sushi right now. The good stuff tho. NOt the *shudders* doobly-tasting kind. I love Asian food that’s not spicy tho. That’s some real bod-foodspiration right there for me.

53. drinking: Water, tea, juice that’s actually juice...... fresh smoothies.

54. I’m about to watch: probably just safe-feeling trailers for me, so like, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl or something.

55. waiting for: My mental health/processing desire to buffen up a little so I can actually start doing things again maybe (that’d be nice). Perseverance, basically, I guess.

56. want: Soundproof area maybe, to record //things//? A small local group of friends.

57. get married: At some point, maybe. I’d not be surprised if I end up single tho. BUt I feel like I won’t which is....honestly.....sorta scarier for me rn dfhbjdhsbjdf

58. career: lol. idk. God’s plan?

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs

60. lips or eyes: eyes, I think.

61. shorter or taller: taller

62. older or younger: depends

63. nice arms or stomach: niCe ArmS oR SToMacH? (bruh idk)

64. hookup or relationships: relationships is the only way to go, and not only in romance my friends.

65. troublemaker or hesitant: Uuuhhh....hesitant. but you know what...imma pretend I come off as, like, a fine brand so. Hésitante.

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: No lol.

67. drank hard liquor: No. Thank GOD.

68. turned someone down: Only one (1) time. Sorta.

69. sex on first date: N o.

70: broken someone’s heart: I actually don’t know. I don’t think so. I hope not.

71. had your heart broken: Not like that, but also yes. At least a little. It’s sorta like having to go back and unstitch a stitch of yourself that’s all messed up; you thought you’d be ok with moving on from it, except ways further along you realise that you can’t and then having to go undo everything and start back up but even then your thread is all folded up and a little extra rugged.

72. been arrested: No.

73. cried when someone died: I want to say yes. But I actually am not sure. For sure, in fictional chracters so....(dad from my big fat greek wedding voice) there you go

74. fallen for a friend: No....I don’t think so.

— do you believe in

75. yourself: Sorta. But inherently? yes.

76. miracles: !!!! yes! If y’all knew some of the stories I’ve known....I love God so much I can’t even. It’s so marvelous. I just....Ah!

77. love at first sight: Yes, but only because I think it’s like some weird intuitive thing that’s legitimate for some people. Or maybe even a spiritual thing sometimes?

78. santa claus: “He exists in every way that counts.” 😂 looolll

79. angels: Yes. Again, if y’all knew...

— misc

80. eye colour: brown

81. best friend’s name: I don’t have a best friend rn.

82. favourite movie: Idk.

83. favourite actor: Idk!

84. favourite cartoon: *Idk intensifies*

85. favourite teacher’s name: Not gonna say any specific names, but probably my German teacher in middle school, or 5th grade teacher. Also, non-official teacher friend man who taught me abstract concepts way beyond my grade level. I love them so much and they continue to have a very important impact in my life voyage.

#tags #yall can do this if ya want and consider me as tagging u or whatever

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vaughnwamsley · 7 years

Text

This is a conversation between [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton and yourself, Silent Ghost! John Laurens.

Silent Ghost! John Laurens: D: !!!!! [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Laying on the ground slowly and painfully bleeding to death* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Sits down next to him, waves hand in front of his face* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *He opened his eyes slightly and coughed* L-Laurens? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *grins and waves a little* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *looks at a wound for a second and winces*[Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Laurens...It's so nice to see you *He smiled slightly wincing in pain* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Nods, tearing up* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Points up at the sky* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *He looked up*...Looks like i'll be with you again Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Nods quickly* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *hesitates, and then mocks rocking a baby* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ...Is Philip there too? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Grins and nods. taps his temple* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Alexander gave him a confused look* Will you be able to talk up there, its hard to understand you like this Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Nods. looks over him again and pantomimes opening a pocket watch* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Alexander had closed his eyes started to slepp/die* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *stands up and waits for it* [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *His breathing slowed till it eventually stopped and he died* Silent Ghost! John Laurens: ...Alexander? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Can you hear me now? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Alexander stood infront of laurens assuming he was a ghost now*......I-I can Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Grabs his shoulders, grinning wide* You sure kept me waiting, Alex. Silent Ghost! John Laurens: So long, I almost felt like- Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Uh... you know. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *He smiled hugging laurens* Sorry I took so long Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Hugs him back* Don't worry about it. Rachel kept me company. Smart woman, no wonder you turned out so well. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ..Rachel my..my moms up there too?Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Oh, yea. *hits his arm* Speaking of, she has a few choice words to say about some of your life choices. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ....shit...im in for a motherly lecture arent i? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: She's makin' up for lost time. She's good at it too- Philip got one too when he showed up. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ....Fuuck Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Wraps an arm around his shoulder* Don't worry, I'm sure as soon as she's done chewing your ear off it's gonna be sob central. She's missed you a lot. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: I've missed her too...a lot there were so many things i wanted to say before she died but i didnt get a chance to. Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Well, you aren't gonna run out of time up there. *Laughs a little* Prepare to unload 47 years of pent-up feelings. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: i dont know if im ready for all of that... Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Delaying the inevitable, eh? If you want we can just walk around here for a while. You can catch me up. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: that sounds nice... Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Let's go, then. Anywhere in particular you wanna wander towards? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ...I think, could we see eliza? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Of course. But ah, to do that... *Looks over to where they're loading Hamilton's body to row him across the river* I feel like it'd be easiest to follow /that/. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: then lets get going Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Let's go, then. *Leads him towards the boat, walking over the water like it's nothing* Uh, a little tip for ya, I suggest you don't look at yourself much. It's freaky. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: wasnt planning on doing that...*He looked at the water nervously* can i really walk on that? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Oh, yea. *stops a few feet from the shore* Probably shoulda told you you can like, fly and stuff. Cool ghost powers or somethin. Silent Ghost! John Laurens: It's hard to explain how to do it. Just... focus on not falling. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: That should be easy enough Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *raises eyebrow* Think you can handle it, smart guy? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Yeah no problem Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *turns back towards the boat, looking back at him* Let's go, then. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Hamilton walked up next to laurens* ok Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *there's a bit of silence* So, tell me more about Eliza. I got the "we're getting married it's so great. aaah I'm having a kid" part, but from what I've heard a lot's happened since then. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Yeah... [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: well, i wouldnt listen to her to take a break and ended up cheating on her with maria reynolds....things got bad, philip died...we got back together and things where getting better and now im dead Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Sounds like what I've heard. Maria's one of the topics you're mom's gonna tear you a new one about, by the way. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ..yeah i figuredSilent Ghost! John Laurens: Can't really blame her. But you know it was a dick move, so I think you're good.[Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: hopefully...either way im not going to hear the end of it Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *shrugs* I mean, we've got forever. After a while everyone'll run out of things to say about it. *grins at him* Now whether that'll be a week or a century or now I can't be sure. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Laurens I will never run out of things to say Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Can't argue with that. I've seen you write. I think you said more words just in all your essays and stuff than I did my entire life.[Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ha...yeah Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Hey, you're a passionate guy who's good with words. I admire that about you, man. I'd rather be good with a quill than a gun.[Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: *Hamilton sighed thinking of burr* Burr fucking sucks Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Frowned* I don't get it. We were friends, right? I wasn't just /imagining/ our five-man buddyhood, was I? What the hell happened? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Burr is just mad because i said he was a bad vice president Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Mad enough to /shoot/ you? What the hell did that even /solve/? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: I have no idea Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Shakes his head, trying to calm down* I dunno. I'm not a vengeful guy, but I think it'd serve him right to know what getting shot feels like. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ...Can i touch and move things as a ghost laurens? Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *takes a deep breath to calm down a bit more* Not really, no. Some people can kinda feel when you touch them, but it doesn't feel normal. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Damn...that sucks [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: i was thinking about stealing jeffersons coat and freaking him out Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Oh my god, you're a genius. Imagine picking his cane up and smacking him on the head with it. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Ha yes, he'd freak out, or just putting his coat on and dance around infront of him Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *Laughs* Imagine his /face/. Ooh, even better, get some chains and clang them together in his face while he's asleep. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: That would be hilarious...Or we could put pictures of Madison everywhere and he'd get really confused Silent Ghost! John Laurens: *elbows him* For an /old/ guy, you've still got that spunk in you. 'Sides, I bet he already has a stash of pictures of him somewhere. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: Hmm...bet he has some kind of diary somewhere. we could find it and put it somewhere where madison would find it and see all that hes written Silent Ghost! John Laurens: I can only imagine what he's gotten written in there. *Puts on a bad virginian accent* Dear diary, today I was a horrible person to my slaves. I hope Madison notices I love him. Who's Martha? [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: oh wait i have one *Trys to sound virginan but failing miserably* Dear Diary Hamiltons passed away and i've finnaly realised how better he was then me. I wish i couldve been honored to have the privledge of being his friend Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Dear Diary, I wish I could go back in time so I could bow down to Hamilton, who is way smarter and cooler and less racist. [Bleeding/GotShot]AlexanderHamilton: ha...hmm Dear Diary, if only i couldve been more like hamilton and not be such a mega bitch who owned slaves for no good reason other then to seem cool Silent Ghost! John Laurens: Dear Diary, I sure am glad John Laurens died before I could have met him, 'cause he'd have punched me in the face and probably broken my nose.

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icantedit-blog1 · 7 years

Text

The deprecation of human nature

When shit goes down and the world bacically ends, you seem to think to your self that nothing really matters, time, currency, language, nothing. Its all just made up. When you're in the middle of a zombie appocolyps, haven't seen anyone for mouths and the last people that you saw was your family, getting their necks chomped by your best mates, you start to wonder about what really matters. If you're wondering why im telling you this depressing stuff that will probably give you an existential crisis, let me take you back to the start, where shit truely went down. It was the day after my birthday and i was sitting at home, playing on my new console, with my best mates. My mum told me to go to the shops to get some milk, but thats when it happened, remember the hole chomping thing? Sometimes i feel if i would've been a stubborn little bastard like i normally was, i could've died with them insted of living in this hell hole. Theres nothing i can do anymore, i seem to be the last one on earth, which is funny because if you could see me you'd probably think, how could that little, long blond haired, dirty, freak show of a teenager get this far? No point asking me because i dont know either. Come to think of it i should probabluy get out of this "public toilet" before speedy mageedy out there, comes in and carves my neck like a fat guy that can't wait to eat his christmas dinner. Being a little guy has its moments, especially when you cn fit through a tiny toiley widow...probably no bigger than a toilet its self. You may think a toilet isnt the best place to hide, but these zombies are somthing else, for some reason they can smell you from a mile away. Thank fuck dartford park toilets still stink like piss and sweat months after no one has used them (and that's only the ladys) Oh and by the way i may have covered myself in some shit on the way out, now before you stop reading let me ask you something, even if you wanted to die, would you smother your self in shit so you can go find someone before you go even more mental then you are right now? And that's not me calling you mental so don't get triggered like the hole of facebook when a gorialla died. By now you would've fault that ive searched the hole of this town looking for people and you'd be right, the only reason im still here is because its all i have to remember my friends and family. Unlike the movies my family didnt, care to give me a heart locket with our pictures in it, so if you wanna read that kind of soppy shit, go find a dead girl's diary because all you're going to get with me is depressing shit. I just hope that one day people will actually come here, thats quite unlikely though. i dont even know why im writing in you because even if i do get attact and killed, theres no one to read my story and even if people do all its going to do is depress them, i guess thats all im really good for, anyway i'm saying all this stuff about wanting to die but i'm just contradicting myself, whenever i see one of those freaks of nature, i either kill it or run, i can't just stand there and let it take me otherwise im just as much of a wimp as you probably think i am. its been a few more days since i've wrote in you now, shit when down just after i left the toilet. The creepy cunt still court me, its definaltly not the best to clim head first out a window. but oh well i have my way of escape, or at least i thought i did but slowly over time the zombies seem to be evolving, at first they was slow zombies but over time they've been getting faster, harder to run from. The bathroom one especially. I use to be able to clime over fences to get away but they've been getting stonger, faster and for zombies, cleavier. This one just climed over the fence, still not as fast as i can but they're getting better, or should i say worse. I finally got away from it but this towns filled with them and as good as i am killing them, i dont want to use the gun to attract more of them so unless i find a good silent wepon, i think i have to keep running and hiding round this town. Anyway after i ditched that one, i looked for a better wepon, but thats where the trouble came from. As i was looking in a block of flats, near the park, to see if there was any wopons. I was on the top floor and on my last flat, i bacically gave up hope. I stood looking out the window, knowing that i was probably going to die soon. Then l heard this growl from behind me, i slowly turned round in fear, hoping the it didn't attack, my hands was shaking, breathing sounded louder than a festival. When i got far enough to see what was behind me, all i saw was a little girl, just staring at me. I didnt want to but i had to kill her, You know what they say, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Unfortunatly the thing i had to do was kill a little girl, that really didnt deserve what she had done to her. Oddly she looked fresh, the massive chunk on her neck looked like it only just been bitten, thats what made it worse to do this, she then realised that i wasn't just a pile of shit standing there and lept for me, before i could even think i shot her in the head, her courps just flung back and hit the floor in a bloody mess. I had to leave as soon as i could, feeling like more of a descrase of a person than i already was. That day really didnt go well for me. The next day was a lot worse. So far you've only seen a single zombie at a time but if you go to temple hill, its full of them and i mean full of them, if you ask me why they're so attrected to it, i'd say it probably has something to do with the smell. The night before i found a good spot that use to be a restaurant, to rest in, not that i really do that anymore becuase im always in fear of being eaten in my sleep but i tried to get a few hours. I woke up just as the nucular sun was rising and got up and out of there as soon as possible. When the human race is bacically wiped of the face of the planet and the ones that survive are trying to survive, no one cares anymore about petrol garages, nucluar plants and other things like that. What the movies tell you about them magically staying up is wrong. I've already had a garage blow up in this town and it was hard enough in the 1st week, with the slow zombies but now they're getting stronger, i was definatly not prepaired for what was about to come. Obviously i was hungery so i decided to go find some food after i woke up. as i was looking though the petrol garage to see if they had anything. I could'nt find anything in the frount because at the start of this people thought they was going to servive and ran in to shops like packs of savige animals. I went to look in the back because it was locked and i thought they would've had something in there, boy was i right. I knocked down the door by running into it with my shoulder, not as easy as those ass hole action movies made it out to be, it hurts like shit. When i got into it i could'nt believe my eyes, it was full of food, it may have just been caned food but why should i give a shit. i stuffed my bag with a good amount to carry and still be able to run, i locked the door with a chain i found outside and kept the key on me, so none of those flesh eating fuckers could get in and jump scare me when i go back. As i walking away all i heard was a massive expslotion and felt heat just hit the back of my head that knock me to the ground. I dont know weather i triped a wire or it just happened like the other one all i knew is it was going to attract a lot of them creeps. The only up side is that it may attract people, but then again i dont think i could talk to another person, its been so long. I got out of there as fast as i could but no fast enough. I didn't use my instinks and just turned a coner. There was too many to imagein coming from temple hill, they charged at me, with a hungry gave in there eyes. I had to run and try to lose them. I was going to use my gun but i only had 3 bullets left and i was going to save them just incase one of them pounsed at me or in worce case sinario, bit me, so i could take out one last zombie before i died. I rapidly turnt corners because they can't do it very well and its good to make distance from them as they're getting faster. I tried not to climb because it does wear me out too fast and i knew it was going to take a while to escape from this huld of zombie. After 5 minuets of non-stop running i lost about three quorters but the ones that was still on me was pasistent. I heded towards the lakes to lose the rest of them. I thought i lost them by climbing a tree and to my understanding it worked, they all ran past thinking i continued forwards. I waiting a couple of minuets to jump down the tree, as I went to jump down the branch i was on snaped. I know what you're saying, typical that it happened, but it did. I wasn't too high up, so i only landed with slight cuts on my hands and my legs hurt a bit. unfortuanty a near by zombie hurd me. With out me even being able to think the zombie darted at me, it grabed my leg and pulled me closer too it. I tried kicking it in the face but somehow it cought my foot its it gastly mouth and bit it, it hurt like no pain i could ever imagen. I pulled my gun out of my holster and shot it. For once i tried to copie the movies and take my foot off. Without debating it i shoot the bone just above my ancle twise and pulled my foot off. The pain was unbareable, so unbareable i fainted. As i fained, My brain whent into over drive, my life flashed before my eyes, i looked back onto everything i took for granted, my mum, my dad, friends, school, everyone and everything. Looking back i was such an ass hole. - Sorry about any spelling or grammar mistakes it only rough atm

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