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tinxxxenminxxx-blog · 7 years

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May 14th 2017.

1. I'm so behind on planning my euro trip!!!!! Hopefully I can get the ball rolling by Thursday....I should probably make a to do list.... 2. That man has some. fucking. nerve. Its funny that parents have an eye for their children's shortcomings, while being blind to the demons that continually bind them.....Maybe my lifestyle is stressful to my mother because her mind can't understand that people are different. But that is not my fault nor does he get to negate the fact that he is the biggest stressor in her life. 3. I feel as tho Im the only 25 yr old who hasn't been in a serious relationship...It obviously can't be true however thats how I feel. I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong. I refuse to become more masculine or change how I dress just to please some nigga. But maybe internally i'm just not ready yet. My heart feels open to letting someone in though. I know I can be selfish, but I know I'm willing to sacrifice for someone who will do the same for me. I know sometimes you have to wait a life time for "Your person." BUTI DONT WANNA WAIT FOREVER. I wanna have a best friend and lover, someone I can truly trust that is willing to take the time to understand me for who I am. Maybe I have to be more vocal and upfront....no I probably just need to invest in ass shots. I hope one day being myself wont turn out to be my greatest regret. 4. I guess I have to talk to Troy about the birthday situation..one day I'll stop being passive aggressive...maybe. I realize more and more how hard it can be to be friends with a new American. The difference in culture and thought is significantly different..however deceny should be ingrained. 5. Curtis... its not going to work out.. this I know. But his company is nice... usually. -pros: He is actually funny. He likes having me around as far as I know. He appears to be trustworthy. I wont have to fight bitches to keep him. He's actively seeking to be a better man. He really loves God and the church....ALOT. -cons: we live two different lifestyles (Professional hippie wannabe vs. Church boy.) I don't feel like he is interested in my thoughts and what I have to say...our conversations can be one sided...It doesn't flow like it should...even Chris (insert eye roll) is more culturally versed and communative than he is ...which is astounding to even think about. His DL church life style will be the death of me. If we cant assimilate our lives at some point...then what are we doing. I wanna see him go the extra miles...the passion is waning due to this major factor. Any boy or girl wants to feel more just being desired sexually especially out of convience. I need to feel needed. ...the fact of the matter is I should return to the feelings I had when I first met him... fuck around with him until you're over it. But once you've been dealing anyone for an extended period of time...even if its just fucking you can't help but form an unchangeable attachment. 6. I'm yearning for a truly introspective, spiritually filling experience. No not frigging church...{still open to it tho}. I wanna see "God" through my life, through nature through events in my life. I wanna feel like each isn't a run of the mill workday. Even on the most uneventful days I wanna approach it with clear thoughtful mind. I wanna continue to grow in wisdom and spirituality. SN: maybe I miss God more than I thought...or I want a replace...religion was a such a big part of my existence for so long and its offputting to feel so seperated from it. But rather viewing life from a religious strictly SDA stand point I wanna know God and the university outside of the confines that I was raised in. There is so much more to know, to experience and to give unto others. 7, Financially planning is hard. Financially planning is hard. Financially planning is mutha fucking hard. 8. I would like to gain more local friends. (2 or 3) Fun & crazy but professional and goal oriented. Random and open. Compassionate, thoughtful and elevating (especially in the spiritual sense.)

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13-augustine1949 · 7 years

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Parallel Worlds (Continuation of “The year . . . . 2012“)

Chapt2.

A.N.:Starting from this chapter, is all solo work, if you read the previous chapter some of the style of writing and description is different and maybe even better, that is because of the mix of styles. I believe Issabel my friend have added quality and inspiration to the work. She and I started this continuation was because she wanted a continuation to the story, and we both wanted to do a collab work together but after awhile we both got busy and the story was left to rot until today, I wish to give the story a proper completion. Hopefully you the reader can enjoy this version of the story. On a side note, special thanks to those who recommend some songs for me to continue writing the story with the feeling down. You probably think it's something small but you really do help me out big time for the completion of this part, stay tune for a part 3.

P.S.Sorry for the long wait.

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[6] "Michelle ..?" I Asked to no one, as it appears the faceless people gathered in the room cant hear a single thing. All except Michelle, the rest has no facial features just a patch of pinkish beige skin over the head where their face suppose to be. Their crowning glory still in tact. long hair, short hair, human figures i would say more than they seem human. The man who seem like Michelle step forward. I silence myself and content myself with an internal conversation, as I feel the need of caution well up in my gut. Wait did i just say faceless? and Michelle? I cant remember my name so why does his name seem able to surface. Suddenly my mind trace back to a memory that seem to be of when i was a child, with my twin braids, I saw a hole on the floor of the roof area near the art class rm, I told the teacher and my classmates but they all make the confused and disbelieving face almost like what I am experiencing now. It makes me think that what i saw, feel, or think is not weighty enough to warrant such attention, it also make me feel like an attention seeker, but I wasnt was i? I try think to think hard about what else i can remember that can tell me about myself but nothing came out. 'Michelle' chase the crowd out of the room. "Do you remember anything?" He asked with a look of concern as he stalks closer. "It's fuzzy" I say, not wanting to give him an exact answer.

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[7] "This is my- no.. Ours. Yes, our apartment. Make yourself at home. Although you dont remember alot of things, I am still happy you remembered my name." His home was a wide sunny apartment. The feeling of the kitchen chairs feel familiar but not as well. It's a funny feeling when you dont remember the person, but he claims to be your close companion. I watch him as he pour us both a glass of water, although the apartment is well ventilated, and somewhat cool, his thick shirt has been soak up with sweat at certain areas, his chest, his arms, down to his chiseled muscled abs. I gulped at my water, quickly noticing that my stares were super obvious to him. After he finishes his glass, he showed me around the house, the bathroom was huge compared to the ones they had at the hospital, complete with a bath tub too, then he showed me a room which is locked he says i shouldnt enter that room as it's his study. Last but not least the bedroom, he said i would have to share the room with him but mostly because he is out working he says for most parts I would be the one using it. He left for work right after our little tour. I throw myself on the fresh bed sheets, it seems he have it cleaned before he invited me to his house. The things around the house also seem very spic and span, almost untouched even. It looks more like a showroom then a house- . . in that moment I flashed back to a scene where i was looking for a house by myself.. and then im back on the bed again. Why was i looking for a house? It's looks like I really cant remember.

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[8] As I grab a cabbage from one of the refrigeration unit my attention was prickled by the sensation of a nearby kid staring and pointing at the eye patch over my left eye. I nearly drop the cabbage but i turn and glared at the kid instead, his mother quickly apologizes for his rude behavior before leaving me in the relatively empty aisle. It seem like the area his house is situated in was pretty near a supermarket. But the area he lived in is pretty isolated in a sense that there is a few buildings and lot of empty housings on ground level. alright. cabbage, some lean meat, yogurt and drinks , time to go to checkout. As I turn I noticed a figure standing behind a shelf. Walking fast to the counter I quickly gave the cashier my basket of items, paid for them and left the building. I notice the hooded figure moving quickly as I ran past a park back to the apartment. As I close in to building it dawn to me that I dont have the card key nor the pin to get into the apartment, panicking I pretended to look into my pockets, I get more tense as I hear the person's footsteps coming to my side in a fast speed. But nothing happen except for a slight bump into my shoulders. before the figure walk briskly off. Suddenly someone grab my arm from behind, an displeased looking Michelle chided me for leaving the apartment before I could say a thing. Pulling me along back to the building not before I notice the same figure standing not quite far off their face still covered by the black hood was blown up alittle by the passing wind revealing a face very similar to mine. She was not having any expression, she just looked on dispassionately but as we disappear into the building a flicker of desolation form on her face.

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[9] "Why were you even outside of the building, what if i came home late?" Michelle questions me after nagging about how unsafe being outside is. I shivered inwardly but stilled myself. "I'm sorry . I ..thought you might want dinner" He look at me like as if he have given in. Then he took the bag in. I sat down on the sofa tired out alittle. He takes the pots and pans out. "Here. I thought you wanted to cook? " I gave him a look that says i thought you wouldnt let me. As I was about the prepare the food at the basin he grab my wrist. "Does the hand still hurt?" I shake my head. I wouldnt have even notice the bandanged palms of my left hand if he didnt say anything. The next couple of days went by just like this. Although I no longer saw the woman with the same face as me anymore. I start recieving weird packages at the mail filled with little things. Some are postcards, Some are trinklets. I didnt tell Michelle about it because they were non threatening. And they dont seem to be addressed to him. There was no name to it. I just keep compiling them into a singular box and threw the empty boxes in the trash. Except I couldnt stay this way it was weird. Although staying with someone I know is supposingly thought that it could expedite the memory recovery but 3 weeks in and I still have no idea who I am. To add to it Michelle, he is always out most of the day. He only comes back for dinner and sleep before leaving super early again. Like I know he said so when he first let me stay at his house. But after the first few day's small incident that seem to tell me he and who I was, were pretty close, he had accidently slept in the same bed cuddling up to me and walking into the bath while i was showering lucky there were curtains. He seemed comfortable with all these but I feel alittle uncomfortable but it was bearable. I am even beating myself up because I cant remember what it was between us? but the thing is do we even have anything to begin with.

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[10]Today was different tho. There was a direct msg of sorts in the mail box. it was two pages long, plasted with newspaper cut out fonts for words..

"R e m e m b e r. . ."

"Y o u A r e N o t"

"M e e t . D a l i n g e o F a m i l y's"

"3 . 2 5 p m" I felt weird out for the first time by the parcel sent by this nameless sender. I decided to ignore it since Michelle will definately freak out alittle if he finds out that I have been recieving weird mail from his mailbox. Seeing as how protective he can be when I went out grocery shopping that one day, that he actually order grocery shopping online for me. It's not like he locked me up in this apartment, he allows me to visit the small nearby park hidden around the corner turns of the apartment building. And also freedom to travel abit, it's just that he asked of me to not visit the supermarket as he fear the distance I have to travel back might have me meet into mishaps. The next 2days I didnt recieve anything in the mailbox. I had thought maybe the sender has given up. Then on the 3rd day was another one in the same newspaper font format. .

"U . N e e d T o R e m e m b e r."

There was two thing attached this time to the singular page of msg. One was a picture of me in a lab coat with two other men on a boat, one of which looks like Michelle. The other was a formula or recipe thing that was in a language other then the one I spoke, looking at it gives me ditzy spells. Behind the picture was some words scrawled behind, "Meet me. Same Place N time."

#ParallelWorlds #part2 #story

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