overall, kaeya thinks that he actually needed a breather. a breather with ginger hair and a smile that could rival the sunlight, pulling him by the hand while giggling like a child about it.
they abandon mondstadt in an hurry, like they're fugitives: past a certaint point, their relaxed stroll breaks into a run as if pursued just for the thrill of it, the freedom tasting sweet on their tongues. they stop around halfway towards liyue, where childe shields him from the looming sight of dawn's winery with an arm around his waist, guiding him into a region he knows a bit better than kaeya.
it seems like ajax is whisking him away, perhaps to outsiders, but he wants him to do just that.
it's the most relaxing vacation that kaeya remembers spending: for three weeks he breathes, watches and lives with childe, watching him closely while they travel. he doesn't remember their hands leaving eachother for more than ten minutes at worst, fingers entertwined as one of them trails at the other's side. teyvat is beautiful, and while the foolish notion of traveling all of it is tempting, they simply don't have enough time to do that.
so they move between liyue and the vast territory parting it from the city of freedom, daring to edge at the chasm and sitting in a comfortable, empty tree trunk that borders in sumeru to rest a while and watch the gynormous sumpter beasts do the same in a large field. kaeya rests his back against the musk and, for once, doesn't find himself disgusted by it.
sometimes in inns, in and out quick, sometimes in caves, they find peace with eachother. for once there are no fatui, no knights, no political discussions. for once, they're just kaeya and ajax.
in front of a sunset, after bickering about entrails and fishy kisses, kaeya expresses a quiet wish that this inner peace he feels could last forever. childe softly comments that he likes to share a life with him, both good and bad sides, and kaeya closes his eyes, pacified and bathing himself in the coziness of a camp, with a familiar body warmth to lean into. even the damned, slimy food doesn't taste so bad.
when they come back to civilization, the city of freedom seems a mountain of unnatural houses, of strangers happily greeting him. the faces all blend together in a blur of days spent chasing cats and scolding drunken citizens from doing irresponsible things.
the sun shines down over the city, warm and pleasant, but kaeya has grown colder and jaded towards the place who was never this home, if it was further possible.
if his friends notice, nobody mentions it.
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Kaeya thoughts part a lot: This is stream of consciousness, not really thought out at all, but I’m making it the tag’s problem anyway because I Can. So. Apologies in advance, this is messy and ridiculous.
Side effect of writing fic about characters with very inconsistent canon personalities, possibly, but I find myself thinking about the choice to have Kaeya’s constellation be the peacock. Especially as I’ve discovered the way I tend to write him is… specific.
From what little I know of birds, (which is very little. I grew up in a kennel, y’all, not a bird run, I can talk Great Danes for days, but I know jack shit about birds besides Pretty and Loud) the eyespots are meant for attracting a mate. This isn’t necessarily relevent, but I do tend to always have shipper lenses on, so it is also…not not-relevant? …moving on.
My silly rabbit hole is more about symbols.
Peacocks are stunning. Bright colors, lots of contrast, a fan of glorious feathers much larger than their bodies, utterly covered in false eyes. They’re meant to be flashy and attention-getting.
But it’s not actually the peacock you’re looking at, is it?
The tail, those false eyes, that’s what you’re looking at when you marvel at a peacock. Not the bird itself. I mean, sure, you might drop your eyes for a moment and coo over the brilliant sapphire feathers on the body, the little fluffy bits around the head, maybe the delicate curve of their neck, or just how tiny their head seems in comparison. But it’s the damn tail that you’re centered on, that you’re supposed to be staring at.
I know it’s hardly revolutionary, but every now and then I just have to sit with the realization that this is exactly what Kaeya, what little we’ve been given, is.
He’s beautiful, he’s bright, he’s carefully cultivated his appearance to be eye-catching. He seems to modify his behaviors and even his voice to keep whoever’s attention he’s after, and then he shifts that attention to exactly where he wants it.
Kaeya as he presents himself is his own tail, his own false, misleading eye. And since you’re looking there, you’re not looking at the smaller parts of him that are Real Kaeya. You’re missing his actual goals or intentions.
Add in the fact that he’s got an eye-patch, the possibility of an otherworldly eye hidden beneath it, add in the various godly Oculus— the god’s eyes scattered throughout Teyvat, the way the visions themselves are also sometimes referred to as gods’ eyes, and it just makes it a little more interesting to me that Kaeya’s ‘destiny’ is represented by an animal known for being covered in gorgeous, attention funneling fake eyes.
Then, of course, there’s other things, like how supposedly peacocks are surprisingly delicate needy idiots, and well. How could he have ever been anything else?
In all fifty billion of my wips, I can’t seem to escape the fact that Kaeya is both the lure and the trap. He’s turned himself into the target, the siren’s call, but in such a way where *his* target never notices the teeth they’ve walked right into. How could they? They’re too busy being lost in beautiful blue eyes that aren’t there.
But, Archons, he wishes someone would find the real one. Just once, and maybe, if he plays his cards right, they’ll keep him close.
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I'm slowly loving the Crepus slander 😂
That what if Crepus comes back to live thing, how does Kaeya react and do when he sees that Crepus is an asshole to his very own son?
I'm just hungry for protective Kaeya shit 🗿👌✨
You know I have several essays about why he sucks?
And I've been considering researching child psychology and finding papers to scientifically prove he's a bad dad, like legit. I have some experience writing academic papers, and I might as well put this knowledge to good use.
Let me also tell you about my story with Kaeya. I used to hate him because of Venti's Story Quest and his own quest. Because in Venti's his line in that was so fucking outta pocket and unnecessarily hurtful just to "Please drink responsibly"
It didn't help that I was exposed to "fanon" Kaeya a lot. And that's a whole other mess.
So I was like, you know what. Let's change this around a bit. And I started to think of him more how I think of Ayato. Someone who recognizes that they are bad and keep doing bad things because it still causes a good outcome. And Kaeya gets a sprinkling of the depresso and over protectiveness of Diluc because he recognizes how much he hurt Diluc, and he never wants Diluc to be hurt again.
And you know with each update with him in it. My vision of that keeps getting clearer and more backed up. I did kind of do an "I told you so post" when his conversation with Dain happened, and he said, "I think my dad just left me there to be happy."
SO YEAH.
I think Kaeya is very protective of his brother.
So Crepus coming back. And now, being an adult and Kaeya can see how poorly Diluc is treated. And how favored Kaeya is. (Because he had to be favored IMO) Especially since Kaeya is still a knight.
Kaeya would be like
"No, no, no! Hold the fuck up. You should be showering and spoiling your son! Not me! He's been hurt by everyone! And he can still find it in his heart to try and save them! To be kind. You don't get to praise me when I am not even proud of this job. But I am damn proud of Diluc! He's doubled the winery's income and made drinking better for everyone! He's sweet and kind and the best person in Mondstadt. And I won't allow you to come here and shit all over him just because he doesn't were some stupid uniform anymore!"
And while Kaeya normally likes to keep his distance from Diluc. (Insecurity and feeling of not deserving to be there) I think while Crepus is around, he would stick closer to Diluc's side to butt Crepus out. Because while Crepus being there would bring out a bit of the younger Diluc, Kaeya would see just how fragile and trusting young Diluc was and how much Diluc is still that person in some ways. But He could also see how Crepus keep constantly failing Diluc. In giving him an unobtainium goal to reach and making it feel Crepus's love is tied to the goal.
So yeah, he'd let Diluc nowhere near Crepus.
There is also the back from the dead angle, which is how Kaeya would probably play it off to Diluc because god forbid they actually tell each other their honest feelings.
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꒰ 𝒎𝒊𝒅𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒚 ✩࿐
pairings: alhaitham, diluc, kaeya, and zhongli x gn!reader (separate)
content: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship, arguments (unspecified reason), reader and character live together
summary: after a heated conflict with your boyfriend, you decide to sleep on the couch instead of together on your shared bed. how does he react?
a/n: shockingly, i'm not writing for any anemo boys this time. that's mainly because this is a gift for @spiritingawaytoanime for @favonius-library's gift exchange event! i hope you enjoy!
The sound of the front door closing is the only sound that can be heard as ALHAITHAM steps into your living room. An ocean of pitch-blackness threatens to drown him. The space lacks illumination. Darkness floods into every crack and crevice of your home, invading an otherwise peaceful space.
He breathes out a sigh as he walks down the hallway of your shared apartment. Alhaitham doesn’t bother flicking on the lights. He knows you’re probably asleep already, and he’d rather not disturb you, especially since you were in a foul mood earlier. So unpleasant, in fact, that you got into a petty argument with him. However, Alhaitham isn’t really that worried. He knows that in the end, you’ll be able to sort out your differences.
But when he enters the bedroom, he immediately feels that something is off. The air feels colder than usual, biting his skin with the ferocity of a thousand cuts. It’s unsettling and especially disturbing to Alhaitham because such feelings don’t often overtake his frozen heart. It almost feels as though the atmosphere has the ability to thaw his emotions, awakening a sentimental side of himself that doesn’t often show beyond his rational demeanour.
When he approaches the side of your bed, he instantaneously realizes what’s wrong. You’re not here. You’re not here. An unfamiliar feeling drives pinpricks into his heart. The sensation is strange, irritating, and it won’t go away. He hasn’t ever felt this way before. Perhaps this is another emotion to add to the list of new feelings being with you has caused him to experience.
Alhaitham sighs. It’s not like he wasn’t expecting this outcome. He had been far too cold earlier while you had been far too emotional. Ice and fire would never coalesce into a single being.
The feelings that accompany the situation are all a complete mystery to him. Nonetheless, he buries his emotions so that he can focus on finding you, maintaining his logical front in the face of such a precarious situation.
As your lover, he knows you well, so he’s almost entirely sure he knows where you’ve gone. Alhaitham shakes his head. He should have checked right when he entered the house. After all, the couches were right by the door.
Once again, Alhaitham walks blindly through the darkness, taking it step-by-step without so much as a stumble in his gait as he makes his way down a hallway that has long engraved itself in his memories. It’s odd. Alhaitham doesn’t usually go out of his way to become involved in the affairs of others, much less memorize details about their lives. But with you, everything is different. He remembers every single intricate thread of information in the web that forms your identity.
And perhaps that’s why he feels a sense of calm wash over him like cerulean waves on a pristine summer day as he approaches your sleeping form. As he takes in the sight of your silhouette against the backdrop of night, he notices that you appear to be shivering slightly. You don’t have a blanket on.
“Typical [name],” he whispers under his breath.
Although his words sound rather harsh and slanderous, he utters them with hints of a small smile gracing his face.
Quietly, Alhaitham walks over to a closet in which you keep a multitude of blankets. He takes his time selecting one — after all, he’s in no rush. Eventually, he settles on a velvety blanket that feels soft to the touch. Although Alhaitham can’t exactly picture it in the dark, he knows that it will be sufficient.
So with an insurmountable level of care, he drapes it onto your body. Even though he can be insensitive at times, Alhaitham knows that you most likely want some space for now, so with a gentle ghost of a kiss to your cheek, he leaves the room.
The silence that fills the house rings in DILUC’s ears, shrieking in a manner reminiscent of thousands of crystal glasses shattering into pieces. It’s deafening. The space feels as though it is full of nothing but misery and doubt and yet it’s so, so empty at the same time.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
The sound of a clock’s arms snapping into place in one second intervals is the only sign of life within the building. Every space on the canvas of night is blank as if awaiting wonderous stars to fill the nothingness with inquisitive light. However, the illumination doesn’t come. Tales of galaxies serendipitously brightening worlds are simply idealistic fantasies from the minds of children. In the real world, things seldom end so well without any intervention.
So he decides to slowly get out of bed, leaving the warmth under the covers — a heat that feels far too stifling without you — in order to search for you. But as the abyssal air of night brushes against Diluc’s skin, he feels a shiver run down his spine. Nothing feels right without you by his side. He needs you. Now.
Diluc knows you’re sleeping on the couch. He saw you there when he was going to bed, but at the time, pride and petty emotions whispered words of spite in the depths of his soul, phrases that prompted him to ignore you.
As he navigates the dimly-lit hallways of your shared home, a wave of regret washes over him. If only things hadn’t gotten so heated when you were still immersed in the waking world together. Now you’re asleep, and he’s lost any chance he has of making things right today. If he wants to apologize, then patience will be crucial.
However, at the same time, Diluc wants to check up on you. So when he finally makes his way through the doorway of the living room, his eyes immediately land on your figure, burning with the light of a thousand fires, almost as though they are casting a glow upon your silhouette. The moonlight illuminates you, caressing every strand of your hair and highlighting every dip and curve of your features to make you look absolutely ethereal.
As Diluc approaches you, he notices that you’re barely covered by a thin blanket, and despite the feeble layer of protection, the frigid atmosphere of night seems to permeate your soul. He shakes his head slightly, sighing as he stares at you. No matter how angry he was at you during the day, Diluc can’t just leave you here to freeze.
So with bated breath, he picks you up while you’re still immersed in a universe of dreamy fantasies and carries you to your room. He thanks all his years of training with a claymore for giving him the ability to lift you. Although you’re not on the best of terms, Diluc is sure that you’ll make up once morning comes, and thus, a vibrant new dawn will overlook the horizon for both of you.
Shivers wrack KAEYA’s body as he tosses and turns restlessly in a bed that feels far too large and far too empty for his liking. It’s peculiar. The cold rarely bothers him, yet now, without you by his side, the frigidness of the night air is far too potent for his liking. Tendrils of night creep under the covers overtop him, wrapping around him with an icy fervor, and no matter how hard he tries to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he can’t.
It’s as though the brighter part of himself has faded away with the radiance of the sun, giving way to an indescribable melancholy that settles into every inch of his being, taking all that he has and becoming all that he is. The cold is so much more unbearable without your warmth, and it doesn’t take long before he realizes that he won’t be able to close his eyes peacefully and drift into a tranquil world full of glacial wonderlands. Instead, he’ll lie awake, alone in your freezing bed — a place that feels far too desolate without your presence.
Hours stretch on and on, twisting and turning in a way that morphs them into a neverending story. As time goes on, the unsettling embers that had once singed the pit of Kaeya’s stomach grow until they blaze brightly, morphing into a raging fire. It’s unbearable, and he knows that he has to do something or else his mind will continue nagging at him for the remainder of the evening.
With cautious movements, he sits up and climbs out of bed. It’s awfully quiet in the house. Usually, flirtatious remarks and passionate displays of affection fill the void within your home, transforming it into a utopia overflowing with wonders. However, at the moment, none of that exists. Perpetual darkness and transient flashes of anxiety are the only things present at the moment. However, he manages to carefully make his way down the hallway without much issue. The creaking of the floorboards is the only noise that cuts through the silence hanging in the air.
As Kaeya enters the living room, his eyes land on a figure lying on the couch. It’s you. He breathes out a sigh, approaching you. Kaeya can see the rising and falling of your chest, hear your gentle breaths, and feel you exhaling once he leans in to examine your face. You look as though you’re at peace — a stark contrast to your earlier demeanour, an act fueled by feelings of rage and spite.
A small smile tugs on the corners of his lips. You look ethereal, although slightly pitiful, your face tinted with the light of the moon. His heart breaks. You appear lonely without his arms wrapped around you. Kaeya feels the urge to pull you into his embrace, hold you tight, protect you from the unknown monsters of the night.
But instead of doing anything, he simply stands there. After your explosive argument, he’s still hesitant to touch you. However, upon closer examinations, Kaeya sees you shaking like a leaf in an intense gale. You’re freezing. And that’s the final straw.
Your boyfriend finally breaks under the weight of your needs and his desires. With steady movements and a fragile touch, he lifts your body just the slightest bit — barely enough for him to climb onto the couch under you. Gradually, he sets you down, laying your head down on his chest. His fingers graze over your features as he eyes you with a gaze full of admiration.
“Sweet dreams, babe. We’ll figure everything out once the sun rises.”
ZHONGLI sighs as he settles atop the plush covers of your shared bed alone. It feels cold — far too frigid for his liking as darkness encroaches, and although he glances out the window in hopes of seeing a single shard of fragmented starlight, he is greeted with nothing more than the sight of an endless abyss devoid of radiance.
A chill permeates every bone in his body, gnawing at him in a way that serves as a perpetual reminder that you’re not beside him right now. It’s strange. For once, Zhongli feels restless. He’s usually so calm, so composed. But at the moment, he can’t help but worry.
You’re not here with him. Instead, you’re out in the living room, curled up alone on the couch. Zhongli can picture you in flawless detail — every dip and curve of your troubled face, the shadows that shroud you in a cloak fashioned from midnight, and the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe in and out. He feels a longing that he hasn’t felt in centuries. He wants to be beside you to trace your features, to prevent the glacial fingers of night from creeping down your back, and to feel your breath fanning his face.
However, he knows that no matter how hard he wishes, his hopes and dreams will have to be put on hold for now. In hindsight, it was a bad idea to let you escape into the land of slumber without trying to work things out with you first because now, Zhongli feels as though he won’t get a wink of sleep. At least, not without you by his side.
Eventually, he caves to all the thoughts running through his head; guilt threatens to swallow him whole. So instead of continuing to chase sleep, Zhongli gets out of bed, and although the night air sends a shiver down his spine, the sensation is nothing compared to his need for you. Quietly, he makes his way into your living room, trying to keep his footfalls light out of fear of waking you up. His eyes have long since adjusted to the darkness, so he navigates the house without any real trouble.
When he arrives at his destination, his gaze immediately zones in on a silhouette lying on one of the couches in the room. Although obscured by darkness, he knows that it’s you. Cautiously, he bends down to observe you. Zhongli raises his hand in order to caress your cheeks, his touch feather-light as if he’s afraid that you’ll shatter.
He wants nothing more than to wake you right now and talk things out, but he doesn’t want to disturb your slumber. You seem so peaceful despite everything that happened earlier, and besides, Zhongli is sure that with time, the two of you will make up. Your love for each other is much stronger than any form of false resentment fostered by petty arguments. After all, the illusions created by a deceptive heart are far too easy to dispel with feelings of everlasting passion and affection.
So instead of rousing you from the oneiric realm of dreams, Zhongli sits down on a couch beside the one you’re lying on. Although his mind has not completely settled yet, it feels less perturbed with you by his side. As a master of patience, he decides that he’ll wait for you to wake up. He’ll wait for the first rays of light to grace the face of the earth in order to greet you with a smile and an apology once you open your eyes.
Thank you for reading!
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— 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐟.
✦ info: kaeya returns home wearing his master thief costume. (takes place after the events of 'secret summer paradise' in version 3.8)
✦ warnings: not proofread.
✦ notes: where can i get myself a kaeya pls why isn't he here with me
the clock strikes nine just as the knob to your front door turns, the little bird in the wooden device chirping out the counts at precise intervals. the creaks of the door are not loud, yet they still have you jolting awake from your impromptu after-shower nap.
“sorry, did we wake you?” a very familiar voice whispers into the dark from near the hallway. kaeya’s back! you realize, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
you shake your head, closing the book that lays open on your lap. “no, no. i just dozed off.” you laugh it off, smiling at your boyfriend and at klee, who’s dozing off comfortably in kaeya’s arms. she stirs when he moves a little too abruptly.
“hey, it’s okay, you can go back to sleep.” he coos softly, patting her head. he sets her down on the couch, gently laying her head on a cushion.
“we had a little too much fun in sumeru,” he tells you after he’s made sure she’s sound asleep, pulling you close and wrapping his arms around your waist. “she’s all tired out. albedo’ll be here to take her home soon.”
“i can tell. i love her mage costume.” you squint at his indigo and peacock feather get up. “and you’re supposed to be a…?”
he huffs playfully, pouting. “you can’t tell? i’m a master thief, clearly.”
“the style suits you.” you tap at his lips and his mouth spreads into a grin underneath your fingers, lighting up his entire face. “though, you’re not you without the boob-window. or that fluffy monstrosity you call a cape. it’s characteristic, but unnecessary. ”
he gasps in mock offense. “how could you slander my cape that way? you call it an unnecessary fluffy monstrosity, yet you still steal it when you’re cold, do you not?”
you exhale forcefully through your nose despite your best efforts to keep a straight face. “touché. drama queen.”
“besides, i was born for this role, you know,” he says, mischief glinting in his periwinkle eye. “after all, did i not manage to steal your heart?”
you roll your eyes, undoing the peacock feather tie and tugging at the braid he has his hair in to free it. he gives you a fond look, shaking his head to assist once you’ve loosened it enough. azure cascades down his shoulders, a slight wave throughout. “so, master thief kaeya, wearer of feathers, stealer of hearts.” your expression mirrors the still-present grin on his face as you loop your arms around his neck, his hair a silky waterfall on your fingers. “what caper are you chasing next?”
“since i already have the most precious of hearts in my hands, i believe i need to steal a few kisses to complete my collection, yes?”
“but good sir, are you sure you’d be satisfied with just a few?”
“oh, haven’t you heard, darling?” you feel his mouth curl into a slow smile against your neck, his voice a caress against your skin.
“i’m insatiable.”
taglist: @number-one-love-lover
new taglist form (old one had issues): here.
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