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rpfisfine · 3 months

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For the gaming asks: 11, 24, 30!

HEYYYYYYYYYYYY win thank you so much and sorry for being so late smiles in a regretful and apologetic style

11. favorite game genre

answered!!

24. if you could live in one of the games you’ve played, which one would it be?

thats such a beautiful quastion i honestly remember having wanted to live in pretty much every single game ive ever played no matter the genre but probably subnautica..i literally don't care that i would be stranded on an alien virus infected planet completely alone with nothing but sea creatures ranging from adorable to mindbendingly horrifying to keep me company and no hope of a rescue i would literally be thriving i think...... i was born to live the faceless subnautica man lifestyle

30. favorite aspect of a game (e.g. exploration, combat, fashion/customization, environments, graphics, bosses, roleplaying, etc.)

(is it gonna be really really genuinely annoying and horrible if i say gambling......i know its not an actual aspect at all but i mean this completely genuinely whenever a game has a gambling mechanic or even just some kind of undercover mission where you need to win at poker or sth it immediately becomes a hundred times better in my eyes like there are only a few game worlds within which gambling wouldn't make sense otherwise you can only benefit from adding in like a weird guy who sits in the corner of a pub who allows you to gamble. you have nothing to lose)

but okay im gonna answer in a less lame fashion and go one by one in like a process of elimination so exploration = good but also becomes a stressful and tedious process when a world is annoyingly big bc you're always Missing something and at some point it always turns into only caring abt unchecking boxes and crossing locations off a list than genuinely caring abt what they have to offer. combat & bosses = depends on how finely tuned the combat mechanics are in the game obvs if they're horrible or have aged rly badly then i only thoroughly enjoy it like 50 hours into the game once i have bent the gameplay to my will but if it's good (like in current cyberpunk 2077 for example) then im literally attacking everything that moves bc its fun and awesome and im good at it. environments = sometimes face the same problem as the exploration aspect but when they are truly truly unique and distinct and feel completely different from each other i rly love just going around and soaking up the atmosphere of different locations. graphics = not that important to me i think liking a game purely because of its graphics is one of the shallowest things the human psyche is capable of obvs it sucks when a game is borderline unplayable bc its appearance makes you want to vomit (like this game called black and white does anyone remember black and white.....) but there are sooooooooo many gems that also happen to look like garbage but that shouldnt make you want to not play them... give old bad looking games a chance....... for me

and i think through the process of elimination i have arrived at the conclusion that my fav aspect is fashion / customization & roleplaying all at once i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE roleplaying not even for like major game defining decision stuff but mostly when it allows you to do the most mundane things like having tea in the morning and making your bed and doing chores and petting dogs and picking up your hat when it gets knocked off and fashion & customization kind of ties into that as well im always like well michael gta wouldn't wear these sunglasses because he hates them (source: my mind)..... arthur would never wear this fancy dress shirt and top hat bc he doesn't bathe enough etc. like my preferences for what i would actually like to see a character wear come AFTER what i think the character itself would want to wear. but yeah to put this whole insanely long thing very briefly roleplaying is my favorite aspect

gaming asks

#i am actually like scarily good at cp77 i have put so many hours into it i will always defend it it was never a broken useless game TO ME #asks #thank you so much!!!!!!!!

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forestryfae · 7 months

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one really fun thing about having a mom and a dad like mine is that i literally cant enjoy anything if it isnt neccessary and i have to keep reminding myself that it doesnt have to be useful or a neccessity to be ok to have and that just because i CAN go without something for a while doesnt mean i should have to

like. okay maybe i CAN go the whole day without eating, or i CAN go the whole day with only one meal. but i dont HAVE to and im not lazy and fat for getting dinner even if i "havent done" anything that day. i dont have to do a million chores that day just to be justified in eating. i dont need to be completely out of pants or tshirts or socks or underwear or whatever to justify wanting a couple extra pairs of socks so i dont run out so quick, or simply not enjoying some of my clothes cus theyre uncomfortable to wear. i shouldnt have to justify that, it is what it is and i shouldnt have to feel like i NEED someone to tell me its ok for me to buy extra socks or more tshirts or whatever. and they dont HAVE to be uncomfortable or pretty. they can just be comfortable and i can just enjoy wearing them.

similarly i shouldnt have to justify having fucking needs and emotions. i simply hate living in my house, thats just somethign that is, and it makes sense, i shouldnt need to literally beg people to justify it for me cus i dont feel that what im saying is good enough. i shouldnt have to feel embarrassed and like i have to overexplain why i hate the house and why its miserable living in there. yes it "technically" has a kitchen that works and a bathroom that works and ive got a bedroom and livingroom and washingmachine, so it "should tcehnically" be fine but it isnt. its fucking old, theres a piece of the wall where the insides are missing, cold air is leaking in in more than one place, the bathroom fucking sucks and the kitchen is gross, its lonely, the backyard is a mess, the garage is literally too dangerous to be inside due to shit engineering and a big fucking cement block in the roof, and its gonna cost me more to fic all of it than i can ever afford, plus its in the middle of fucking nowhere and i have to take the train to get to the nearest city just to buy groceries and i cant go in the summer at all. i shouldnt have to indirectly beg people to validate me when i try to justify why i dont like living there. just because mom and dad doesnt fucking care when i say i hate it there

i shouldnt have to justify or explain why something upsets me eitehr, it upsets me and that should be it. i should be allowed to be upset. i should be allowed to say i dont want to be treated a certain way and immediately being yelled at and told im not that special and i should get off my high horse and have literally every tiny thing ive ever done be thrown in my face to justify why i dont deserve to be treated nicely.

also similarly, i should be allowed to just. like things. just because i like them. instead of trying to force myself to like stuff i feel like i "should" like or i want to want to like. instead of thinking "i dont need that" because thats what my shit mom keeps telling me any time i even look at something nice. i cant even point at a nice dress and say "i like the pattern" without hearing my little sister or brother parrot it back to me cus they learned it from mom. also, just because i CAN go a whole day without eating and be fine, just like i did involuntarily due to shitty parenting, doesnt mean i should have to. i can just eat when im hungry instead of continuously telling myself at 10 am that dinners at 3 and i can wait. generally after 4 hours i can eat a second meal of the day, its fine, i dont need to be literally starving to be able to eat something. i dont need to justify not showering with "ill shower tomorrow morning cus work or whatever" no shut up i want a shower now and i need a shower now and its the only thing i can think of so lets shower now. its fine. literally doesnt hurt to shower just because i want to. doesnt hurt to eat just cus im hungry or i want to. its fine if i wanna do laundry even if its late in the day and its fine if i wanna skip an activity cus im tired or sad. idk why exactly im like this but i feel like my mom and dad constantly belittling me or brushing me off or just straight up ignoring me and not bothering to do their job as a parent cus "i should just do it myself" and "well why didnt you just eat a sandwich for dinner" and "well why didnt you just do this differently" for every little thing plus me not being allowed to want attention or need anything cus i "already have" something else or im "nagging" them might have something to do with it

"why didnt you just do this" well for starters i was scared to cut my own nails until i was like 11 or 12 or something cus i thought mom or dad was gonna scream at me at the top of their lungs and curse me out for doing something wrong. i wasnt allowed to do SHIT and i was never told when those limitations and rules didnt count anymore. there was no "youre old enough to cut your own nails just be careful" for literally anything. there was just screaming because i wasnt allowed to do something OR there was "you have to do this now" literally overnight with NO prior warning or explanation. i had to start going to school and waking up on my own overnight cus dad just told me the day before school after summer vacation that i had to. like. my brother way 6, i was 9 and id never done any of it alone, i wasnt even allowed to cut bread on my own, and if we didnt manage to do it on our own we had to call him and get screamed and cursed at for the whole ride to school cus he was "going to get fired" and "going to jail" and we were "helpless" and shit. like okay thanks for that, YOU raised me to be scared of doing literally anything on my own and never taught me anything, he literally treated me like i just knew everything he knew. wtf was i supposed to do.

anyways shoutout to my parents for making me scared of fuckign liking or wanting stuff. or even trying stuff. i see people who willingly buy shit just because they wanted it and not because they needed it just for fun and it drives me up the fucking wall. other people can just. buy stuff. and they dont need to justify it, they can just want it. meanwhile i have the most deranged way or approaching how to decide if i want to buy something or not and its so fucking unhealthy and i dont know why i do it, i just do and its part of why i hate shopping with other people, i like the peace of just quietly shopping on my own and working on it, instead of trying to get second opinions from people or feeling like i Have To Buy Something cus thats how quality time w my grandparents and cousin was like when i was a kid aunt uncle and cousin visit grandparents for the weekend, dad and us come along to visit and hang out, we spend a large amount of the time either shopping for new clothes or toys or candy, quality time w family then quickly becomes Shopping Is Love, dad doesnt give a shit about me but will buy me a soda after ive been talking to my therapist at 13, now giving people stuff and money is how youre supposed to show people you care. fucking deranged

in other words, i am not a bad person for struggling, im also not a shitty awful person for not being good at money, and im not a bad person for wanting to sell the majority of my furniture and other shit so ill have less to worry about and ill have less shit i dont use or want or need. im not a bad person for wanting to have some order in my life.

but yeah im also not a bad person for wanting stuff or wanting to actually enjoy my sorroundings and how life works for me and so on

#talkies

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moltazia · 3 years

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A court of silver flames plot rewrite

Plot doctor. SPOILERS!!!

ok so i really dislike the latest ACOTAR book, it really undercut the illyrians as cool warriors and the achievements of rhys, cas and azriel for reaching the mountain. Really 3 people whos trained for a year is alot better than people whos trained their whole life?? it also really ignored Nestas actuall skillset and seemed to try and make her feyre 2.0. in this feyre is also very much not pregnant. that whole plotline deserves its own book and since they said they wanted to wait i think it can happen 50 years into the future or something rather than the immidiate next book from the one saying they wanted to wait. also no attempted rape tacked on plot or 3 objects everyone just forgot about. if i was to do a rewrite of the plot beats and settings of the book it would go something like this:

we move it so nesta actually moves to the illyrian camp full time for her intervention. with how the human society is structured this fits her better than velaris with the more strict and defined gender roles, we can explore here how in a way she is quite alike to illyrians. cassian is frustrated that she is not on his side when it comes to training women. we see flashbacks of her life and how it was beaten into her by her parents and everyone around her that it was mens job to care for women and it was horrible and unsightly if a woman tried to do anything on her own or push to hard for something with physical force.

she helps with the womens chores but are also confronted with the ones who want more out of life and they ask her why she thinks why shouldnt they be allowed. not all women will suddenly be trained, just the ones who want to. she comes around. she makes friends with the female shop keeper, she really likes the idea of being in control of making and having her own money. flashback to the cottage, her frustration with her father for not fulfillinf the role of provider and leader he was "supposed to" and her not being able to bring herlsef to chop the wood because it will ruin her hands, hands she was told to take care of because it was a sign she was a lady. her admiration for feyre for bringing them food but that first instinct to shun her for not being feminine or adhering to her role is very strong. she doesnt know how to handle it.

life in camp settles into a routine a bit, she sees cassian caring for his people and being a gentle person, she finds this very admirable and thirts a bit. sexism being directed at her, now that shes settled in with the women well the other illyrians have started to regard her as "just another woman" she gets angry and it becomes a bigger spat. she gets some approving comment from the more outspoken women who wants to train. she asks cassian to show her some basic defense moves.

she sees a wing clipping when cassian is gone to inspect some other camt´p and she tries to intervene she cant do anything since shes too weak and illyrians are stone hard super warriors. she makes the bargain with Cassian this time its for protection if another spat happends and so through the bargain she could summon him.

the evil queen attacks the camp with autumn court soldiers. its a disaster and alot of people die. since it was made clear they were soley after nesta she gets blamed for the attack in the high emotions after when people find their loved ones dead. she cant stay in the camp any longer.

cassian and her leaves for the court of nightmares, meeting up with the gang and Eris to discuss whats happened.(before eris arrives it is tense between her and feyre, fyre tries to hug her after hearing what happened and nest cant stand to ahve someone be kind to her after feeling like shes to blame and shrugs her off) it is agreed since nesta is a mostly neutral person to the rest of the courts and the one most trained in court manners she will be the one to go with Eris back to the autumn court to investigate. cassian will come with her as her personal guard. as the queens sister it is not something off about that arrangement. to give a reason for her to visit the autumn court they decide to fake a romance between eris and nesta. same ballroom scene as in the book.

longer flashback of nestas life right before poverty, shes the ultimate mean girl and a social butterfly, switching masks to be different people to different artistocrats with ease. shes admired and she holds high society in her small lace gloved hand. they arrive in the autumn court. she gets a "low" faerie assigned to her as a handmaiden. she has a audience with Beron and his wife.

Eris is a much better mirror for nesta than cassian. he is the same as her in many regards, growing up in a strict role. missing a step in the social dance can mean death (symbolically for nesta growing up, real here). putting on an uncaring mask to not show how intensly you care is a big theme in this part. Eris and Nesta are great at playing "the game" toghether and cassian as her silent bodyguard grows to admire her slyness and how great an actress she is, manipulating the courtiers to giving information and making accurate conclusions from their clothes and manners ("we can pressure X person to do this, their clothes are a season old and they are doing their own hair because its messier in the back where they cant see it in the mirror, this means they cant afford a hand maid anymore. give them a bribe and they will do anythign" etc). she and eris starts growing a friendship of two people who see alot of themselves in eachther.

they are figuring out the evil queen, but some moves from the enemy doesnt make sense, theres a third player in this game they realise (death god lake dude). the trio have become comfortable with each other and are hanging out and putting together their intel and gossip. Nesta becomes friends with her handmaiden. this helps break down her elitist and class barriers in her head a bit. while feyre has her painting it is to messy for nesta when she tried it. but shes always loved clothes (we can see a bit of it in the first book even), she starts putting her own touch on dresses throughout the book and starts designing her own even. we can see how many in the court she has won over to her, cassians and eris´s side by what courtiers copy details from her designs.

she makes her handmaiden some nice outfits. we can also learn what nesta likes about herself here, in the dresses she designs: what does she emphasize, what does she hide? while she probably has a whole range of outfits to make her look anything from innocent to evil queen what does she wear when shes just "nesta"? Feyre once remarked she hated her eyes because they reminded her of her mother and nesta. does nesta feel the same way or does she like her eyes for just the same reason? combat training with cassian continues in secret. some fun wrestling or close combat fighting flirting. she reflects on the fact that while she "let loose" in velaris and slept around she would never sleep with him casually, she knows it would mean somethign and she wouldnt be able to brush it off if she did. he asks her to teach him something aswell or explain some etiquette thing. idk, poin is that they are learning from eachother and admire each others strenghts. she says to him she thinks hes very brave to never masks his feelings but notes it leaves him open to manipulation easily. he asks back if shes then thinks herself a coward for always masking herself. conversation started out nice but turns sour.

Autumn court outing, she and cassian makes up and she opens up to him about her and feyres realtionship. we can also maybe get some more background on why shes so protective of elain here, as someone whos described to be so beautiful and charming i dont buy its because someone was like once mean to her. elain would have been popular in her own right.

she and eris ride together and jokes and such, he makes some halfjoking remark about cassian maybe and she defends him. they talk about family pressures and parental figures who are very imposing and bossy while the other is passive (something they have in common) eris lets down his guard a bit and talks about how he doesnt want to be like that, he doesnt want his future partner to be trapped in the same situation either. she talks about how she never really thought about how married life would be like growing up, everythign was about getting married. the after wasnt something discussed. she thinks about if she would ever want a family, she probably assumed she would have children one day (it was expected) but the only thing she can imagine is a perfect child like she was. she starts being afraid of if she has children she would turn into her mother. she has a quick image of cassian as a dad with a smiling little girl in his arms.

throughout this whole thing nesta is writing letters to the night court, it is expected since shes the high ladys sister and since they are surely read they use it to throw suspicion in the wrong places to beron about what she sees and suspects. but as she writes and recieves back letters and she reflects and improves on who she is, her letters become more heartfelt. doing some work to improve their relationship a bit. in her dresses she starts sewing in hidden pockets. Cassian gifts her a dagger, saying he thinks she will be able to be marginally more dangerous to others than herself by now with it. she makes a special hidden pocket for it and always has it on her.

the trio finds out who in the autumn court is the death gods agent and kidnaps them. azriel comes by to get information through torture but the agent does not break. Nesta goes in and through playing a perfect balance between caring and arrogant she gets the agent to slip up and give them a clue about where they will strike next, what they are after. Azriel is impressed, notes she is a a great interrogator and would make a great spy for him. he also notes to cassian about how shes changed alot since he saw her last. more focused and balanced in herself. Eris notes how she reminds him of Amarantha from the first book before she betrayed everyone and cassian gets mad he would say something like that. back and forth but and eris notes how "a knife is a knife, its about how its wielded." and pointing out that just because a person was an enemy on the battlefield doesnt mean he couldnt admire a skilled warrior. and so likening her to amarantha was a compliment. cassian huffily agrees and sees their, to his mind, more boring socialite nights with a new eye. same revelation as in the original book when nesta read battlefield books and saw how like it was to a court but for cassian instead.

the clue from the death gods agent leads them to trying to go after the mcguffin under the guise of a romantic trip. think a bunch of weapons hidden in a picknic basket. Handmaiden comes along to make it look real. on the perilous trip they all work together and and finally gets it, on the way back to bring the macguffin to meet up with nighcourt gang so amren can study it, they get attacked by the queens cronies again. Eris has the mcguffin and the handmaiden on his horse and rides off, making the smart decision to first and foremost get it out of the enemies reach and try and lure them off cassian and nesta. it doesnt work. the evil queen is overcome by her hatred for nesta and order her soldier after her instead of the mcguffin. nestas had some training but cant hold off soldiers whos trained for centuries and gets taken. she sees cassian being overwhelmed but still trying to get to her. she invokes the bargain of favour they made to force him to abandon her. they share a long look before he is forced by the bargain to fulfill her wish.

Eris and Cassian meets up the NC gang and they are besides themselves. a rescue mission is put toghether. Feyre insists on coming "she came for me, trying to pass the wall". handmaiden stays with azriel and amren.

Nesta wakes up in The evil queens castle. we get some one on one talks with the villain. we get insight into her motivations and why she valued her youth so much. we get to see how Nesta used to also think the most valuable thing about herself was how well she could appeal to others and the power that gave in a society wich was designed to make her powerless. she now finds it a bit sad and reflects on how much she values her new friendships and how cassian would probably still like her even if she wasnt traditionally beautiful anymore. The Villain starts draining her blood bathory style to get her youth back. agents of the deathgod comes and makes her stop before Nesta dies. he has bigger plans for her. Evil Queen looses her shit at not getting to kill her.

we see eris, feyre, and cass making plans for how to get in and rescue Nesta. some heart to heart between feyre and Cas about his feelings for Nesta and how hes holding off on showing her them. He talks about how hes seen alot get thrown at her. he talks about how she havent gotten to choose alot in her life and so in a way he hates the bond because he himself realises that that is yet another thing she havent gottent to choose. feyre wonders if nesta thinks he isnt attracted to her. that she thinks cassian only said what he said in the heat of the moment on the battefield. Cassian is dumbstruck by how anyone could not be attracted to nesta.

Evil queen comes by to taunt nesta in her cell. they exchange barbs and she lies and says she killed "her warrior" to mess with her. Nesta doesnt believe her but still gets anxious. has a twinge of doubt anyones goign to rescue her. elaine has always been with her when things go bad and a part of her thinks they only got rescued because of her since everyone loves elaine and now when its just her will they still come?

shes to be transported somwhere by the evil deathgods cronies and the evil queen is accommpanying them. the rescue trio sees them leaving. their whole plan on infiltration flies out the window and they have to move quick. Feyre uses her shape shifting to look human and makes herself bait. running at the caravan of nestas captors when theyve left the city (a castle usually have a city around it) screaming theres fae attacking from there pointing to the right as eris and cass attack from the completely opposite side. in the chaos nesta gets loose and starts running for the trees evil queen blindly pursue her and tries to kill her. with her arms free she grabbs the hidden dagger from her dress and kills the queen in self defense. the rescue trio finds her and they all go back to Night Court.

the book concludes with her and cassian having a heart to heart about how he was so worried he would loose her again and she admitting how she certainly feels somethign for him but she wants to take it slow. (her being terrified of showing her true raw feelings have yet to be resolved. her admitting this much is a big step forward for her) and they have a super smoldery kiss.

end of book. sets up evil lake dude as big baddie, nesta gets to have her own skillset instead of being yet another warrior and next book can build on the change illyrian culture regarding women plot aswell. and makes the sex have some build up.

this whole thing was of course just my personal opinion, and an impulsive plot and theme re-write. rant over.

#acosf #plotdoctor #spoilers #plot #rework #nesta

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cryingbilldenbrough · 7 years

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you: a concept: kasplonbrough also you in the tags of your post: “i’m feeling some bill/eddie/mike ot3!” me: ok bitch it’s time so i’m thinking i’m going to need to know who was dating first and how was the third person added? like i need to know some origin stuff. please and thank you (also ilysm).

OK so let’s build off this post

the thing is, bill knows eddie loves mike more than friends, more than a brother even

he can tell by the way eddie gets a little short of breath when mike bends over to pick up a particularly heavy rock, muscles straining beneath a white shirt

and bill knows mike’s similarly smitten, cause he bites back a smile whenever eddie gets started on one of his rants, gearing up and sucking in a deep breath to get ready to talk for as long as he can without interruption

bill figures he just needs to leave them to it

(even though he’s fallen in love with mike’s smile and his casual wit and his soft-spoken intelligence)

(even though he’s been in love with eddie kaspbrak since before he can remember)

he knows he needs to step back and let them figure it out, without getting his own stupid feelings involved

cause for bill, love is So Messy

he’s a glass table with jagged broken edges, one blow from fracturing further into a thousand pieces

and his friends deserve a love untainted, without fear of breaking

(bill’s kind of an idiot)

anyway, mike and eddie never get together as kids

cause eddie goes off to new york for the second half of high school and mike takes on more responsibility at the farm

and they all kind of just…. forget each other

bill forgets about thursday night dinners and helping mike’s mom cook and he forgets looking out the kitchen window to watch mike and eddie, pink cheeked and eyes watering from battling biting wind, do farm chores with breathless smiles on their faces

bill eats dinner alone at the dining room table at his house and can’t shake the feeling of emptiness in his chest

he shoulders the invisible burden, he goes to college, becomes World Famous Author bill denbrough, and forgets all about Derry and his Family

until mike hanlon calls him late one night

it’s nearing 3am and he’s awake, because bill really doesn’t sleep much

and the caller ID has a number with a maine area code

he answers hesitantly, mind almost numbingly blank, and gets shot back into the past by the sound of mike’s voice

he books the next flight home and spends the journey bouncing his knee anxiously

he gets into town at like noon the next day and immediately goes to the derry public library

mike hanlon grew up handsome, as if there was any worry of that

his shoulders are broad and strong and he shakes bill’s hand with confidence and god, bill feels it all rushing back

the warmth of loving mike flows through his veins and god, how did he forget? how did he let this memory slip past his finger tips

the fear is almost an afterthought, the reason they’re there and Together at the back of bill’s mind, forgotten

he goes back to mike’s house and sleeps in his guest room and bill hasn’t felt so At Home since he stopped going to hanlon family dinners

there’s a piece missing though

cause the dinner table isn’t the same when eddie’s not chattering away

conversation is stilted, not because mike and bill can’t get along by themselves, but because they’re constantly pausing

as if they know instinctively eddie would want to butt in and say his piece

it’s not until the next day, late into a lazy afternoon

(mike had gone to work for a few hours in the morning and returned to explain the Full Story of Its return with bill)

eddie comes home

he somehow knows where mike lives, marching right up the porch steps and something in bill’s chest pulls him to the door, answering it before eddie can even knock

eddie kaspbrak grew up good. his hair is fluffy and he has a pair of thin-framed wire glasses on his face and he’s wearing a really warm looking sweater

bill scoops him into a hug and breathes in deep, familiar and grounding

they share a bottle of wine in celebration that night, gathered around the kitchen table at mike’s house

they’re loose, flushed and giggly, and bill looks at his boys with wonder on his face

“how’s your dad?” eddie asks, almost as if the thought has just occurred to him

bill remembers then, remembers cooking with jess hanlon, remembers the bond with mike’s family he once had

mike swallows, looking just a little too old and weary, and tells them of both parent’s tragic deaths

will passed away from cancer a few winters back and jess hanlon followed him peacefully the following spring

it really really fucking hurts to hear

it’s like bill’s been given a gift and then had it ripped from his grip

he reaches out, across the table, and grabs mike’s hand

eddie has the other, fingers interlocked, and they’re a chain of grieving

they spend that night in remembrance of their family and all they shared

as time goes on, the losers arrive one by one

bev then ben then richie (no stan, and that fucking burns too)

they spend a day lost in memories again, relearning a forgotten childhood

and bill tries not to want it

he tries not to want to gather eddie and mike up and flee this cursed town

he tries not to want to finally let himself indulge in a fantasy where he gets both of his boys all for his own

he tries not to picture himself happy

because it’s all going to be torn apart soon

he puts his head down and tries to get some fucking Work done and doesn’t get distracted by eddie’s familiar lilting laugh and mike’s fucking stupid white smile

(it’s not going well)

they go on their Walking Tours and god, it’s only worse

cause mike fucking gives bill the gift of Silver, of memory of childish carefree fun

bill and mike spend the afternoon riding his bike like fucking children

and then eddie comes home from his own Tour with scraped knees and a dirty face and bill plummets back to earth

he remembers why they’re here

he throws himself back into it with fervour

he tries to remember their secrets, their hidden weapons, the reasons they survived the first time

he tries to make a plan, a foolproof plan to beat It

letting himself get lost in mike and eddie is really not a part of the plan

unfortunately (fortunately) for bill, eddie kaspbrak has never once done anything according to bill’s plan

he sneaks into bill’s room late one night, when they’re so close to the end that bill can taste it

there’s a thrumming in the air that bill knows means their time is almost up

(bill doesn’t know that Henry Bowers is currently making his way to the hanlon house, fully intent on killing them all)

he slides the door open almost silently, feet tracking over the hardwood floors, and bill sits up in bed as he enters

“eds?” he says, voice scratchy, and feels eddie sit down on the edge of his bed

“it’s me” he answers, but bill knew that from his soft breath and steady heartbeat

“w-what’s up?”

“oh, nothing. just wondering if we’re gonna die tomorrow.”

bill doesn’t answer. it’s answer enough. eddie sighs and takes a deep breath in, almost like he’s steeling himself

(bill loves his brave boy)

“bill?”

“yeah”

“i love you”

bill wants to brush it off

he wants to go back to forgetting, to letting things fall through his fingers without feeling their loss

but he can’t

“i love you t-too, eds” he says instead

eddie plants a hand on bill’s knee through the blankets and kisses him

just once, light and steady, and then he backs off

and u KNOW that once bill’s tasted the forbidden fruit he can’t forget

he dives back in head first

“what about mike” he can’t help but breathe against eddie’s mouth

“i’m sorry,” eddie says, and moves back

bill chases him, leaning in and trying to capture his mouth again, but eddie’s gone

“what?” bill asks, confused

“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have,” eddie’s making excuses, running a hand through his hair and bill reaches up to flatten it down “i just thought maybe…. i just figured you had maybe felt what i did but i understand if you’re just interested in mike i shouldnt have assumed and i love mike too it’s okay you two deserve each other i shouldn’t have come in here”

“whoa whoa whoa,” bill says, putting his hands up because eddie is rambling and he isn’t making any sense “eds, i love you,”

“yeah, but–”

“but what?”

“but you love mike”

bill chuckles

“can’t i love both my boys?” he says

and eddie fucking crashes into him

anyway, i dont feel like getting into logistics bc i have already written too many words of ot3 makeouts and there’s only so many times u can write three-way kissing b4 u wanna die

but they end up in mike’s bed, pressed together on the king size mattress

and that’s when fucking henry bowers makes his debut

but!

mike’s not alone this time

he’s flanked by bill and eddie and they have something worth fucking fighting for now

they’re been recharged by every moment they’ve been together and they’re fucking unstoppable

mike takes a knife to the thigh and bowers gets off a solid right hook to eddie’s jaw but otherwise they��re virtually unharmed

it has Begun though

they make their way down to the sewer, just like they’re meant to

except man, bill’s powerful this time

(there’s no Audra, nothing to distract him, and his boys are walking strong beside him)

eddie supports mike, the other man’s arm thrown over his shoulder, as they track through the sewers

and while Bill and Richie go into the deadlights, mike is there to help eddie take down the spider

and eddie kaspbrak does not lose his fucking arm

because right as he’s thrusting his inhaler into Its mouth, mike’s arm catches him round the waist and pulls him back

eddie loses the tips of his fingers but it could have been a LOT fucking worse

eddie and mike call bill back from the Deadlights together, whispering “come home bill” into the Void

“you’re too old,” It tries to taunt, tries to distract from the power of eddie and mike calling him back “too old and broken and you’re all going to die here”

bill hears mike and eddie’s whisper in his head

and turns to richie, eyes flashing wickedly in the dark vaccuum of the void

and he smiles

because nothing can stop bill from getting back to his boys

send me requests/headcanons/prompts!

#kasplonbrough #bill denbrough #eddie kaspbrak #mike hanlon #it headcanons #DO I HAVE TO BUILD THIS RELATIONSHIP FANDOM ALL BY MYSELF #anyway sorry this didn't probably go as deep as u wanted #maybe ill write a real fic of it someday #my writing

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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‘Ghost Recon: Wildlands’ review: Ambitious but poorly executed

Ghost Recon: Wildlands isnt just an open world game its a daunting expanse of unrealized potential.

SEE ALSO: 5 tips you’ll want to know before you start ‘Ghost Recon: Wildlands’

At first blush, Ghost Recon: Wildlands is a mesmerizing experience. The rocky hills in Itacua, the first province in the game, create a beautiful, treacherous landscape that is glorious to behold. But Wildlands quickly reveals itself as a husk, devoid of any life or meaningful story, with more veneer than actual substance.

A good start to the story breaks bad quickly

Wildlands narrative starts off compellingly enough. You play as a Ghost Recon operator, call-sign Nomad, in the wild lands of Bolivia, under the CIAs Operation Kingslayer. Your mission is to clear out the Santa Blanca cartel and rid Bolivia of its narco-state ties. But it isnt long before you discover the myriad flaws and plotholes that run rampant throughout the games latter half.

Yuri and Polito, the first provinces buchones (minibosses), were a fascinating pair to track down. Their cringe-inducing talk of necrophilia was enough to motivate me along the missions that would lead to their inevitable execution. Unfortunately, Yuri and Politos end was one of the only satisfying story conclusions in the game.

Everything in Wildlands takes place in an open world, which means that the buchones can be taken down in any particular order. Which sounds great until youre stuck in choice paralysis. I got so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of provinces to explore and buchones to execute that I began to resent the cartel map and its execution targets. Ten hours after starting the game, its repetitive nature and tone deaf narrative caught up with me.

The deeper Wildlands thready narrative gets, the more stale the ideas feel. Its flaws start with inconsistencies in the story but completely unravels when yet another cinematic rewrites a major plot point. But it was the ending both of them that was the worst offense. Not only is Wildlands narrative conclusion a massive letdown in terms of tension and story resolution, its treatment of drug trafficking and cartels is appallingly ignorant and still somehow heavy-handed.

Theres a way to handle those themes that doesnt rely on stereotypes or tired tropes. The Mafia games, especially the most recent installment in the series, provides a far more nuanced perspective of what it means to run a large drug operation. Lincoln Clay, Mafia 3s protagonist, and his gang leaders feel tangible, believable. Wildlands couldnt decide whether to be serious or satirical, evident by its bombastic characters that felt too ridiculous to be taken seriously, even if that was the purpose. Wildlands is a poignant reminder that painting broad strokes on top of existing real world issues is not the way to tell a compelling story.

Sniping is everything and your drone is your only friend

Story isnt always necessary to enjoying a game but, sadly in this case, Wildlands misses the mark almostall the way across the board. Thankfully, between decent gunplay, enjoyable long-range combat, and a drone that has more personality than anyone else on your squad, it manages to claw its way back to mediocrity.

The gunplay is mediocre in comparison to any number of third person shooters, including Ubisofts own The Division, mostly because the contextual cover system is twelve ways to ridiculous. The cover system is unreliable, accounting for at least a third of my deaths it was hard to stay fully protected because there was little indication as to what was considered true cover and what was only a cosmetic hiding spot. The latter obscured my line of sight but didnt give me any protection from enemy fire. But in spite of the unintuitive cover system and the shrug-worthy gunplay, there were a handful of moments that made the game worth playing.

The long-range snipe is where Wildlands really shines. There isnt much to shooting from the hip, even after youve put points into that particular skill. But the shots I made with my eye down the barrel or through a high-powered rifle scope were often the most exhilarating they challenged me to think tactically, rather than just react to the environment. The quick audible feedback, followed by the target dropping out of his sniper tower when the shot struck true from 300 meters away (regardless of whether or not it alerted the enemy to my position) was often the best part of beginning an encounter.

The majority of the game is played at long range, so moments like this are fairly frequent, which means theres a lot of fist-pumping along the way.

Sadly, the only things that your AI squad is good for are fist-bumping one another in background chatter and soaking up sicario bullets. The background information on Holt, Midas, and Weaver indicates that they have special roles within the team. Unfortunately, those roles arent realized within gameplay. Youre still the one laying C4 charges and blowing up trucks full of coke, even though you have a demolitions expert in the squad. So, while its easier to play stealth-heavy missions with the AI (as their presence doesnt alert enemies), theyre little more than meat shields in the heat of battle.

Your drone, however, is your constant companion. In most altercations with either UNIDAD, the military police, or the cartel, the drone was the only way I stayed alive. Flying it (while safely in cover, of course) allowed me to mark targets, blow up a group of enemies, distract another group, and even revive a teammate remotely. My drone was my in-game bestie the only thing that kept us apart was a drone jammer and I always, always dealt with those first.

Vast spaces too empty for their own good

From breathtaking vistas to lush jungle rivers all the way to desolate salt flats, Wildlands has constructed a collection of incredible landscapes to explore. While Bolivias existence as a narco-state is a work of fiction, the environment is as close to real life as you can get without hopping on a plane (or three). Its a joy to ride a dirt bike around the early provinces, capturing shots of sunrises and twinkling stars, but the world is otherwise empty.

Strangely, the more you explore, the more overwhelming the world feels, in spite of the desolation in the environment. It takes a long time to travel from mission to mission the roads and mountains are unforgiving and expansive. As you uncover more intelligence within each province, the TACMAP becomes the most unsavory place in the game. Without a way to filter, it devolves into a lumbering beast with a plethora of icons obscuring the map and making navigation a chore.

Open world games shouldnt be daunting. Rockstar and 2K Games both managed to create open worlds that dont feel like youre drowning in them. So why didnt Ubisofts land?

Outside of the cartel hit list, Wildlands does very little to acknowledge progression. Theres the odd soundbite from DJ Perico, Santa Blancas propaganda-spouting mouthpiece, but there is nothing in the cinematics or the gameplay that recognizes the cartels destabilization. The videos from El Suenos perspective feel disjointed enough that its hard to believe that any part of the cartels operations are aware of one another. Story progression felt like a checklist of requirements rather than the interwoven narrative that it could have been.

Crackdown tackled a similar structure to Wildlands, but integrated the gang leaders executions into both the story and the gameplay. Each gang leader that you took out led to the decreased effectiveness of the gang itself. Taking out a particular leader could mean that enemies began to carry pistols instead of assault rifles; or typically well-defended hideouts would see their numbers drastically decreased. Sometimes, you had to fight certain leaders first before you could even think about tackling some of the games bigger fights.

Wildlands gives the player full reign of what to do and where to go next a true open world experience. But as I progressed through the game, it didnt feel like my actions impacted the game. It was a matter of finishing out a set of missions in order to get to the next set of missions, in order to maybe get the hint of a story. Crackdown, on the other hand, demonstrated through both gameplay and narrative how important it was to be tactical and strategic about the order of execution.

Huge, open world games need diverse soundscapes

Wildlands requires a lot of point A to point B travel but doesnt offer much in the way of companionship. Your options are either to listen to your squad mates drone on, or to endure the same two songs that play on the radio over and over again until youre fairly certain that you are, in fact, in hell. The combination of the two work to create an aggravating experience in between the major story beats.

Theres some satisfaction in looping through the terrain in order to pick up the plethora of meaningful collectibles, but even that wears thin.

Theres a hollowness to how your Ghost, call-sign Nomad, interacts with their squad mates. While Nomad perks up with comments about the mission every once in awhile, Midas, Weaver, and Holt are usually silent. The intermittent broisms including various musings about sex with twenty-two-year-olds and snorting coke to cope with altitude sickness cement how vacuous the game presents its operators. Granted, its a Tom Clancy game and exaggeration is usually the order of the day, but the dialogue writing feels downright lazy after more than a couple of hours with the squad.

There are only so many times a person can hear this medal has a coca leaf on it, thats kinda cool before they are driven to summoning an Elder God in order to end all existence.

Despite its best efforts, Wildlands can still be fun (with friends)

Somehow, out of the cocktail of mediocrity that the game serves up, Wildlands still manages to be kind of fun in partnered co-op. Hopping into a party, bantering with friends and taking down sicarios is pretty much the only way to enjoy playing the game.

With the exception of the day/night cycle, the entire multiplayer experience was disjointed. Weather conditions, radio audio, and incidental chatter was delivered locally, rather than synced across all players in a session. It could be a torrential downpour in my instance of the game while the sun was shining brightly in yours. But in spite of that, the multiplayer experience is what initially sold me on the game.

Cooperative play set a tactical atmosphere that solo play missed. While AI squad mates wandered around of their own accord, getting in the way of my tactical plans, real-life companions and I were able to coordinate our efforts more explicitly.

Everything except stealth missions were easier with human players because we had specialized our Ghosts skill trees. My co-op partners skillset was best suited for vehicle combat, so he often drove. My Ghost was far better at reconnaissance, so I would scout ahead with my drone, marking targets and blowing up small groups of sicarios along the way.

Were not booking a return trip to Bolivia anytime soon

Ghost Recon: Wildlands is an enormous departure from what makes Ghost Recon a reputable tactical squad-based shooter franchise. Beyond narrative fluff, the three AI Ghosts are indistinguishable from one another. Gone are the series staple of individual commands for squad members and the teams specialized skills in favor of a trite story with an empty, repetitive world. The mish-mash of ambitious, poorly executed ideas detract from what could have made the game truly great.

Sniping is a lot of fun. And roaming the gorgeous Bolivian landscape is absolutely breathtaking, no matter which province you find yourself in. But Wildlands myriad missteps are experiential landmines that blow up in your face in almost every province, with immersion and enjoyment suffering as collateral damage.

Amanda Farough has been writing about video and tabletop games for a number of years. Her tastes are eclectic and varied, with a love for strategy and action. You can find her on Twitter at @amandafarough, where she is likely shipping her Overwatch main, D. Va, and Lucio. You can also find her previous work at her personal site.