#it’s. weird. the last time i spent this long in an interest was with hs but that lasted for 7-8 months

[anapologethicc]

I posted 18,028 times in 2022

That's 4,183 more posts than 2021!

162 posts created (1%)

17,866 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dailytomlinson

@harrysmaison

@thepeaceringx

@ladychlo

@decemburied

I tagged 1,602 of my posts in 2022

#fanart - 90 posts

#prev - 84 posts

#hs3 spoilers - 83 posts

#hs - 45 posts

#ananya's brain babies👶🏼 - 40 posts

#inbox - 39 posts

#daddy - 35 posts

#babygirll💖 - 35 posts

#ltwt - 34 posts

#lt - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and because im adhd and autistic the hyperawareness that both of those bring doesn't fucking help in social situations where ppl don't like

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

16 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

#4

me randomly remembering i played james bond in heels and then learned to change from those to tap shoes in 30 seconds and then performed in tap shoes as james bond and got a piece of wood kicked and broken by this dude who used to do taekwando and he once kicked me in the face during rehersals and how i looked so good in a black suit and red lip all while the handbell team played the 007 music

21 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

#3

(x)

listen. i have been trying to explain this to people for years. and even as a child. when my parents would tell me to like ‘thank people’ for like gifts or something. my brain would be like. ‘but why? i don’t like it.’ never understood the concept of not hurting someone else’s feeling until much later. and every single time i was invited to hang out with people or to go to a party. i would say ‘i don’t know those people, i can’t talk to them’ and everyone would say ‘but just try and get to know them’ and i could never explain that i just can’t. i don’t wanna go up to them say “omgg hiii long time no see!! last i saw you was xxxx”. like i know mannerisms. i’ve spent years copying them trying to look and act neurotypical. but like i cannot fake insincerity. and that’s why i ended up being ‘that one friend of those people who’s mean and rude’. and whenever people would do this, i would look at them like i was half amused and half just shocked/confused. because here i was standing next to some of my closest friends and suddenly they’re best friends with someone else. in a matter of seconds. and it used to give me such a whiplash. like how did that happen. how can you do that?? i can’t. it’s one of the reasons why i can’t form friendships that easily. because people go from insincerity to friends. they’ll be all ‘yeah yeah omg let’s make plans to hang out or party’ and then spend time and get closer. and for me. i literally cannot do that. i have to actually be interested in you as a person to be your friend. i can’t pretend to be your friend and then be friends with you. what kind of fucked up NT logic is that. but i’d always be the one standing in the corner or helping people with food or setting up the music. i can lie just as well as the next person, maybe even better. but i can’t be fake. i just. it’s so hard. how can you just switch characters like that. but nOoOOo. i’m the one who was a bitch. like actually i was hyperaware of all the fakeness that i was surrounded by. i can’t do insincerity just like i can’t do small talk. small talk is fucking weird man. with people my age it’s usually. ‘omg so what are you studying and where are you studying” and majority of the people i used to hang with would say they were studying business *insert eye roll*. and then you couldn’t stop me from telling them how their so-called business men idols could choke and die for all i care. and then from there i would go on about how systems are fucked up and minorities suffer from that and literally not a single person could keep up with me. because they would be like ‘whatever, ananya’ and just change the topic. and then after that they didn’t like me and i was mean and blunt and whatnot. so i mean. who’s really the mean person here. 

33 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#2

me randomly remembering how in primary we had to ask if we could drink water and how when we entered secondary we were so surprised that we didn't have to ASK TO DRINK WATER anymore

115 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i am matt. matt is me. (x)

897 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[ectoplasmer]

in two months I will have been into yugioh for a year and that is absolutely terrifying

#i have been bracing for a random new interest to pop up but. nothing has happened #i consider this a good sign but also dear gosh one year #that feels so wrong?? #like i remember jokingly saying i was gonna finish this show just so i can say i did #i didn’t expect to get attached or for there to be actual plot #i didn’t expect to be so enamored and spend so much energy on some of these characters #like… the earliest thing i can find of me showing /any/ actual emotion over this show was about marik not knowing what a tv was. #like rainy. buckle up you have a ton of other things to be obsessing over #it’s. weird. the last time i spent this long in an interest was with hs but that lasted for 7-8 months #i’m glad i’m still interested because i genuinely enjoy this series #but like. jeez one year #that’s so odd #i should probably get on planning a one year post or something… idk. #sorry random rainy rambles. as to be expected #rainy.file

[strekkingur]

——— ABOUT THE MUN !

(I’m back and you get to enjoy my extensive chatter and rarely seen mun icon again)

——— BASICS !

(PEN)NAME: Silf (or Sussu with friends) PRONOUNS: they/them ZODIAC SIGN: Libra, aka don’t trust me to make any decisions ever- SINGLE / TAKEN: single pringle :’)

——— THREE FACTS !

• I’ve worked as an exchange student tutor at my uni for the last year and it appears I’ve freaked out almost everyone I’ve met with the number of languages I know. How many languages do I know? “Too many.” (Depending on how you count, the number is somewhere between 4-12. Tho pls note that knowing a language and actually speaking it are two very different things... I’m only 100% fluent in two languages - take a wild guess what those are - and speak another 2,5 helpfully. xD With the rest I’m limited to more or less “tourist”.)   • I’ve worn basically the same pieces of jewellery every day for like... more than a decade now. An opal pendant I got on a holiday in Crete when I was 15 (it was my parents’ confirmation gift to me and I wear it instead of my golden cross bc I don’t like crosses or golden jewellery and lost my faith around the same time... I think the circle shape fits better into my spiritual concoction anyway). Opal also happens to be my birthstone which I found out years later as a fun coincidence. Besides the necklace, I currently have four rings, two in each middle finger (why stacked? bc I have ridiculously tiny hands and the lower rings are a size too big and would fall off otherwise). I started with one ring (that I no longer wear, it was my elementary school class ring and has Bad Vibes) in hs and they’ve accumulated since. At this point I’m so used to their weight on my hands that I can’t write/type properly when I’m not wearing them. I also stim with my rings and have accidentally flung one or two of them across a room on multiple occasions both at home and in public. Oops. • I’ve spent the last week or two (or three... I’m losing count) researching Chinese astrology and cultural symbolism and just... don’t ask me why, I’m trying to name a new muse and quickly discovered that there are roughly a million things one needs to take in account to make a good, auspicious Chinese name. Tbh I’ve been at my name research for the last year already with some breaks in between but this urge to find his name strikes me again after a few months. (My weird research topics are, usually, one way or another, related to my muses. If you want an easy conversation opener with me, you can always ask about my latest research topic and I can always guarantee interesting and/or entertaining answers.)

——— EXPERIENCE !

PLATFORMS USED: Skype in the very beginning, though I usually don’t count it. It was just dumb one-liners and projection. Facebook pages were my home base for several years but I finally moved to tumblr in 2016 after fb made it practically impossibly to rp there anymore. Also a brief stint on Kik that I’d rather forget (between fb and tumblr).

HOW LONG? Facebook since 2012, Skype maybe a year before that if it counts.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE !

GENDER: my main muses tend to be guys but it’s actually a 50/50 split in my head... not even half of them have (active) blogs bc my mains are attention whores. Someday I plan to dump the rest of them on a multi-muse... whenever I find the time and motivation to write half a dozen bios

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S): I don’t know actors/actresses that well and I don’t really pay that much attention to fcs... I’ve found all of mine half by accident on pinterest

MULTI OR SINGLE: Single but I’m willing to experiment with multis. My multi blog would most likely be a disaster (but what in my life isn’t) but, well, dunno for sure before you try it

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT ! ♡

FLUFF: I love fluff as much as the next person but it’s sometimes hard for me to write bc I have some, shall we say, prerequisites for it. Like, if the thread is nothing more but pure and simple slice-of-life fluff it just gets... boring to me tbh. For me, ideally, there needs be a bit of a charged undercurrent, things that are left unsaid between the lines. I want a feeling of history between the muses and a sense of continuity to their story lines even after the fluffy moment passes. Imo the fluff needs to fit in to the bigger picture of their (my) narrative rather than just be an isolated moment for the sake of itself. In short, a sugary sweet fruit cocktail alone doesn’t do it for me, it needs some chamoy in it (and no, I haven’t tried that food myself actually, just seen it a lot recently on tiktok lol). Without some depth, the fluffy slice-of-life threads just don’t hold my interest for very long and I might end up dropping them without a warning (sorry)

ANGST: I love angst and I think fluff is even sweeter when it comes after like, ahem, an avalanche of angst. xD If you talk to me on discord, you know I come up with new hcs every week and they’re usually angsty ones... I especially love the Treaty of Kiel stuff here (aka Eiki’s separation anxiety and the source of his infamous Attitude™). With Zinon I’m a lot more careful, mostly bc his main source of historical angst is very very recent so... you know, we’re respectfully not touching that. I recognise that it’s still an open wound to native Cypriots so I’ve resorted to just... implying the elephant in the living room every now and then. Bc ignoring it completely would also be rather difficult and morally questionable imho. Other than that, I just don’t really care for writing violence/war situations and like to focus more on interpersonal relationships (and the mess that those make when your average lifespan is measured in centuries).

SMUT: I think the one and only time I wrote smut was in like 2014 and... well, I’m not opposed to writing something like that again someday, my preference is just to not do it in a public platform. Kissing and innuendo is fine in threads but then it’s fade to black and if you want more details, we can plot or write it on discord. I also prefer to avoid nsfw memes most of the time. (”Most of the time” bc it also varies a bit with my muses’ body confidence. Each one of them has a mind of their own and some of them are absolutely shameless. Yes, I am looking at you, Zinon.)

PLOT / MEMES: I prefer plotting but people have also complained in the past that I plot things too well and then there’s nothing left to rp so... hmm. My current tactic is to use memes for inspiration, to gauge interest and stuff. And hc memes are great for expanding characters. At the same time, I reblog memes quite rarely bc I have no self-control over the number of threads I start and can get easily overwhelmed with everything I have to deliver... and then it might take me months to reply and I try to avoid that but life also likes to throw curve balls at me.

stolen from: multiple people on the dash- @xbasilrp @banamaak​ @heroyam​

#half told tales (ooc) #//I'm late to every meme as usual

[pluviophile-imagines]

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

#ask.🌧 #anon #pattering on the roof #char.🌧 multi #again these r just the ones ive thought about so sorry if i didnt bother with any chars u care abt ajkhsfbgsjdhfb #thank yall for asking LMFAO any excuse to ramble abt this shit #it does impact the way i write these chars #obviously #bc this is meta more than anything else and so is fanfic lol

[yodawgiherd]

Show, Don't Tell

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Yet another fanart-inspired work, because all I do lately is scroll Twitter and feel pain because of the leaks. Check it out -----> https://twitter.com/AnnLuVazzel/status/1392937671467671554/photo/1

I just wanted to take my mind off canon which is turning into a pile of flaming garbage.... So have some HS AU shenanigans instead!

“Dark knight! Dark knight!”

A weight crashed into the side of Eren’s body, familiar fingers quickly grasping his arm.

“C’mon Miki,”, he mumbled, ”I told you not to call me that in public.”

But when he looked at her, seeing the giddy look on her face and the light in her eyes, Eren couldn’t be mad at his girlfriend. Why did it matter that she called him strange names when he got to look at her from this close, when he got to…

Turning his body to face her better, Eren leaned in and Mikasa quickly got the message. Tilting her head she kissed him, her lips meeting his in a familiar and practiced movement. As it should, considering that they have been together for a year already.

When they first met, three years back, Eren thought that Mikasa is weird. The occult lover’s strange style of clothing and makeup and how she was adamant about calling him a “Dark Knight”, her defender against Jean’s advances, annoyed him at first. But then he got to know her, and those prejudices faded away.

Mikasa was a sweet, gentle being, hiding herself behind a wall of indifference and goth-ness, the more time they spent together the more he liked her. He also began to notice that she is really cute, especially when one of the rare smiles crossed her pale face. It took Eren a year and a half before he truly realized his feelings, and another six months to gather his courage and ask Mikasa out.

They went to see a movie, and although it was an interesting one with some man-eating giants running around Eren couldn’t fully concentrate on it. His eyes kept traveling to Mikasa’s face, seeing the tiny tears that appeared in the corners of her eyes when the main hero died.  Armin would enjoy it if he was here, but Eren managed to croak his plan to him over the phone and the blond did what a true friend does and stayed home.

After the movie they grabbed ice cream, Mikasa’s favorite treat, and just strolled through the city while Eren kept repeating the whole speech in his head.

“Hey Mika,”, he began, getting her to stop and face him, “How do you… you know... feel about me?”

An adorable blush spread over her cheeks while she whispered some words that made no sense, and Eren knew that he would have to be the one to break it.

“I kinda like you.”, he deadpanned, “And I was wondering if you like me too.”

She stared at him, wide-eyed, stared for so long that Eren wondered if he didn’t break her with those words. But then the silence stretched from cute to uncomfortable and he realized that he probably put her on a spot – she was trying to figure out the gentlest way to let him down. That was not what friends do, so cursing himself inwardly, Eren offered her a way out.

“Sorry, that was a strange thing to ask.”, half-turning away, he went on, “Let’s….”

Her fingers grasped the sleeve of his shirt, holding on with much more strength than Mikasa’s slender build suggested. When she looked up to meet his eyes, the adoration that Eren saw in her face was everything he ever hoped for.

“I kinda like you too.”, she confessed.

And that was that.

Dating Mikasa Ackerman came with a number of things that Eren never realized when he asked her out, but that became known to him over their year-long romantic relationship.

It meant having to check his face anytime Eren went anywhere public because Mikasa was a messy kisser and her black lipstick left marks everywhere.

It meant dealing with Mikasa’s older brother, who – even with his short stature – scared the living shit out of him.

It meant a slow exploration of their intimacy and finding out that Mikasa, despite being so shy on the outside, could be demanding once private. She knew what she liked and wasn’t afraid to ask for it, and this went to the point where they watched porn together so Eren would get an idea of how to improve his stroke game. There was still something that she wasn’t telling him, he suspected, a darker side of her that only came out when Mikasa was truly losing control. Like those times when, deep in a haze, she asked him to slap her, spank her, or pushed Eren to be rougher….

Well, he was willing to give anything a try, as long as it was with her. Mikasa would tell him about these things once she felt comfortable about it, and Eren had no reason to push her. The things that they were doing together were already something from his wildest dreams.

“Do you have plans today?”, she asked, once they began walking home from school, still holding onto his arm.

Yea she was clingy, but he didn’t mind it one bit. Plus, walking around school and having the most beautiful girl there hold onto you like this? Let’s just say that it gave Eren quite an ego boost.

“Not really,”, he answered her question, “since I aced the test today – thanks to your tutoring I might add, I have free time.”

“Oh, come over then, my parents aren’t home.”, her face lit up, “We can watch a movie together.”

“Is it Twilight?”

“Maybe….”

Eren used to hate these movies because he found them stupid and cheesy, but as he dated Mikasa he began to appreciate the more subtle things that watching this vampire on werewolf action brought. Like the fact that Mikasa was easily distracted from the movie, and when he kissed down her neck she rarely told him to stop. Or that seeing Edward shirtless seemed to turn her on, and Eren was right there to help Mikasa’s horny thoughts.

Honestly speaking, he would shake Mr. Pattison’s hand for all the good times his performance blessed him with.

They passed the walk home with small things, talking about school and whatnot until Mikasa was unlocking the door to her house and letting him in. The first thing Eren did was check if they are indeed alone and for one reason only – while he liked both Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman, Levi was his nightmare and was sneaky as a cat. If he ever caught Eren doing anything intimate with Mikasa, it would probably be the last thing the poor boy ever did in his life.

Mikasa went to get some snacks and Eren was left in charge of preparing the movie. He turned on her laptop, found the movie but also noticed that the battery was quite low. Searching for the charger, he couldn’t find it anywhere so Eren checked the nightstand next to Mikasa’s bed. However, the third drawer held quite a surprise and it wasn’t a laptop charger.

Unsure of what the hell it was, Eren pulled the thing out and inspected it. Two black leather straps connected to a red rubber ball in the middle, with the straps having a buckle at the end so it could be locked in place.

What the…?

The door opened and Mikasa was back, but her smile faltered as soon as she saw what Eren was holding. Eyes darting between his confused face and the thing in his hand, she scrambled for an excuse.

“I.. Uhm… I can explain.”, she squeaked.

And that was when Eren took the wind out of her sails.

“Is this like a goth accessory?“, he asked in such an innocent voice that she wanted to burst.

“H-Huh?”

“Like your chokers, you know,”, Eren gestured at her vaguely, indicating the collection of odd jewelry Mikasa wore, “Piercings, necklaces, things like that. Is this such a thing too?”

She stared at him, unblinking, deciphering what the hell did he just say.

Oh god. Oh god her dark knight was so innocent and cute. He had no idea…

“Kind of..”, she drawled, weighing her options.

She could lie, say that it is indeed just one of her odd decorations, let him continue living in darkness. He would probably never find out, as Mikasa had a hard time imagining where her Eren would ever come across a ball gag.

Or….

She could tell him the truth, reveal that she enjoys using toys in the bedroom, teach him how to use them. The sex was good but it could be so much more, the possibilities this course of actions unlocked….

The fire igniting in her lower belly was the only answer Mikasa needed.

“… but not really.”, she finished her thought, stepping closer to her boyfriend and taking that toy from between his fingers.

His beautiful emerald eyes were confused as he watched Mikasa snap the leather strap. She had him in her clutches now, deep in her lair, and she wouldn’t let her dark knight leave until he learned a thing or two about her kinks. Mikasa’s gaze drawing him in better than any spell, the half-smile on her beautiful face holding him in place, Eren listened as her next words were said in that low sensual voice that never failed to make his spine tingle.

“Let me show you.”

#eremika #fanfic #fuck the ending

[reversecreek]

clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!! 

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how. 

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

#irvingintro #abuse tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #anxiety tw #violence tw #DOES A LITTLE JIG #admittedly i didnt include a formative moments section like my other intros bc idk what kind of superpowers i was inhaling the fumes of #for those intros but #i'm a mere mortal now.

[erascrhead]

November Ice Breaker Tag Game

loI was tagged by the lovely @bnhastanning! I’m sorry this took so long - I’ve been procrastinating all of my work and i had to take care of it before did this but now? watashi ga kita motherbuckets.

November Ice Breaker

1 - What was the last thing you were really excited about? 

Not gonna lie, things are a bit bleak at the moment, but I suppose I was very happy because I did really well on my last lesson test in my Japanese class and I raised my cumulative grade by a whole percentage! I am not very good at it but if I do decently for the rest of term I think I can make my way up to an A-, which would be really cool!

2 - What do you wish someone taught you long ago? 

Don’t be so singularly focused on your goals and responsibilities that everything else is removed from your life. Most of my middle and high school career, I was focused only on achieving what I needed academically and extracurricularly, and pushing myself beyond what I really could handle, that I ended up overworked and lonely. If it puts it into perspective, in my 10th grade year, I not only had multiple people ask me if I had taken a semester away because I had spent so much time hiding in the library, but I literally gave myself an ulcer from stress and taking on other people’s responsibilities because I had painted myself into a position where I was never allowed to refuse. While I did get to achieve beyond what I ever could have dreamed of (and I’m really proud of myself for that), theres a lot of my adolescence that I have a sort of phantom nostalgia for, and that’s something I really regret. 

Your life needs to have balance to it. Make sure you find that early on, and understand how to equally prioritize your own well being with what you want and what other’s want from you.

3 - What are some of your guilty pleasures? 

Not doing the reading for class lmao. As someone who never once skipped the reading until I graduated HS, skipping some of the reading in college, when I end up having around cumulative 500 pages per week is quite nice. I wish I had something less goody-two-shoes but I do nothing and also have zero (0) shame.

4 - What topic could you give a twenty minute presentation on without any preparation? 

There’s a couple of different things I could talk about in differing qualities ranging from classical ballet scores to a linguistic breakdown of a hamilton song, and of course I could go off about bnha for a long time, but I’m gonna go with a fun one.

My most fun answer is that I could talk about racism and race correction in Harry Potter for like three hours. Black Hermione is god tier fanon, and JKR’s attempts to race correct her make me really frustrated, not only with the problems with the action itself, but as well with the nonchalance she attempted to do it with. I have a bit of a ‘cheat’ on this one, because last year I wrote a ~5000 word academic research paper on the subject. I was already really passionate about it before that though (that’s why I wrote it in the first place); the only difference now is I can spit out narrative and numerical facts™ off the cuff, and my argument would be better organized.  

5 - What scene in a movie or tv show gives you goosebumps every time you watch it? 

I don’t really have an answer for this, which is kind of sad but also hilarious considering what my parent’s jobs are. If I had to pick something, I don’t really have a scene in particular, but the movie Amadeus (the extended directors cut edition) is one of my favorites that leaves me breathless in the best of ways. 

6 - What were some of your favorite holiday traditions growing up? 

One of my favorites is that every year since I was little, my mother and I would pick out either 1-3 new ornaments for our tree. I remember being little and walking into the Macy’s Christmas section and just being dazzled by the lights, and typically, we would pick out some white and gold porcelain birds. As I got older, are choices started coming from more small time shops, like a kiosk in hawaii or a small knick-knack shop near the place where we occasionally ski in the winter. For me, it’s really the act of going and picking out something beautiful with her that’s really nice.

A newer tradition is that every year I bake chocolate-chip bread pudding in a dutch oven. I am, unequivocally, the best baker in the family both immediate and extended, though not the best chef, and this became a hit around the time I was 15. It’s just really fun to make -- I like to belt out to Christmas songs while I bake. 

7 - What book had the most significant impact on you? 

HARD QUESTION. There’s a bunch of different ways I could answer this: the impact on the way I think, the first chapter book I read on my own that helped me discover my love of reading, my favorite example of intricate world building? I have a lot I could say. The direction I’m going to go for is the impact on my writing, and the one of the first books that really made me marvel at the beauty of words, just as they are. My two runners up are The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller and We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson, but my final answer is Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz.

Representation aspects aside (but also, yes!), this book was one of the first books that made me feel emotion for the words themselves. It’s more of a character study than it is plot driven, and as a kid who grew up loving action adventure fantasy novels, I think that’s one of the reasons it really stood out to me. I pulled an excerpt, just to give the gist:

I stared at the reproduced mural in the book -- but I was more interested in his finger as he tapped the book with approval. That finger had pulled a trigger in a war. That finger had touched my mother in tender ways I did not fully comprehend. I wanted to talk, to say something, to ask questions. But I couldn’t. All the words were stuck in my throat. So I just nodded.

One of my favorite things now is to play with words, to roll them around on my tongue and isolate their melodies, placing them in them in rhythm to a beat only I can hear, and I think that this was the first book that showed me how to do that.

8 - What weird thing do you have nostalgia for? 

So I went to a small school for all the way up until college; about 45 kids in my sixth grade class, 22ish in my homeroom/main class. There were four kids, including me, that had an aptitude for math, and understood the lessons without being taught them, and so what my teacher would do is give us the homework packet for the week and send us out to the outdoor benches next to our classroom to complete it during the period. We, being 11, would goof around Monday through Thursday and do the entire packet in the Friday period and then turn it in. Not the best teaching decision (i wish i had been taught the next year’s material tbh) but that’s not the point.

It was just a year, but those periods felt so untouchable and surreal and innocent. I remember, the school was so quiet, and it was just us, and we were just kids who were getting away with not learning math for a whole year, and it felt like the greatest victory in the world. 

9 - What's a problem you have, that might be entirely unique to you? 

I don’t know how unique it is, but the intensity with which I currently need to pet a dog is unparalleled.

10 - What are two of your favorite snacks? 

I literally eat an apple with peanut butter on a daily basis I cannot emphasize this enough i am, a slut, for peanut butter. 

There’s also this specific Costco Brand trail mix that I literally have eaten so much of that I got nauseous. We love Kirkland Signature™ up in this house.

That’s all! I’m tagging @kicheetah @teamstevesass @stark-tony @bakugox @rabbitproduce @pixie-witchery @joeytrlbiani @queenangst THOUGH NO PRESSURE and also anyone else who wants to! Have fun!!

#literally feel no pressure to do this!!!!! #i have a BUNCH of new moots and i want to learn about them!!! how was your day dears!?!!? i want you to feel validated!!! #and i want to catch up with all my old moots!!!! how are you doing loves?!?! its been a while and i miss you <333 #yaya rambles #tag games

[faakeid]

There this vid of an ex sasaeng telling how she stopped after finding out the idol she stalked was dating a gg member. Everyone says it was Ji's sasaeng, based on the clues she gave. Either kxk or jxk it doesn't matter, but does that mean Ji was really in a relationship with the girl? For real? She says she had a reality check because of this and quitted, so she must have had valid info, right? What do you think???The vid is [INTERVIEW] Ex Sasaeng Fan Tells You Why She Started and How It Ended

Hey anon! Interesting question you brought here. Thank you beforehand for giving the video, so I can attach here (and could watch as well). Just want to say that what will be said here are my own interpretations and explanations, not facts.

For this analysis, I’ll go with two approaches that could be possible:

The story told in this video is not real;

The story in the video is real, but the idol in question is not JI.

For the first one, people can say I’m crazy or stupid for thinking about this possibility, but am I really? How many videos on Youtube are scripted those days? Or how many are not? Unfortunately, Youtube became somehow like TV shows, where  people pretend to prank their partners for views and likes. The difference is that you can choose what to watch, but other than that, the edit and scriptwriting procedures are pretty similar.

When you look at the OP’s channel, you see the channel doesn’t have that much of subscribers (less than 100.000). Probably had less than that in the period the video was posted. According to him, he was the one who intervewed the claimed sasaeng. But, unless he knew her as a friend or something, why would she agree to talk about her life in a channel with not that many subscribers? If they didn’t know each other beforehand, the chances of her finding his channel and wanting to talk about it are just slim to none. And it’s not an interview he simply took from another source. He did it himself and, in between, he does cuts on the footage to give his inputs not really adding new information (except for a point that I’ll maybe talk later). But why would he do that in an interview he did himself? In general, people post the interview first and later makes comments, if necessary. But it can be only his style, who knows. In the end, that was the first and only video he did in this style until now.

If this hypothesis is true, what could have happened? He called this person he perhaps knew before and asked her to portrait a sasaeng for the video. Both of them know Korean although both of them could perfectly speak in English too (she studied in America and all) probably for credibility. And for an idol, they could have thought about JI considering his dating history and how “recent” it was from the video release (that happened in July 2019 while the dating scandal happened in January 2019. It could make him memorable in case anyone would try to guess). Or they simply made up an idol with a few details and people just thought it was JI because his scandal was fresh in people’s minds. 

Besides, the video title is “Ex Sasaeng Fan Tells You Why She Started and How It Ended” when in the actual footage, the OP mentions she “claims” she was a sasaeng, like he wants to give some doubts/is unsure. 

But anyway, the second point is the one I’ll expand myself more. Let’s suppose everything about her narrative is true and get some key points to focus (especially about the idol she stalked)

In the video, the lady explains her life was pretty normal, that she didn’t know kpop and thought normal fans were crazy for liking a celebrity this way... until she saw a random dance practice of a specific group and she liked one specific guy she wanted to know everything about. And then was the time she became a sasaeng (yeah, we know this story is weird, but it’s all true).

But yeah, she mentions she came across the group (when it happens there’s a loud beep to avoid identification but the name seems too big to be exo ngl) and she mentions the idol she liked had “beautiful dancing lines and he was handsome”. A vague description. Ofc JI is well known for his dance moves but is he the only one? Really? This and this list don’t think so. You can even watch this video analyzing “The Eve” and see other “beautiful dancing lines and handsome men”.

There was also another detail that caught my attention: she found out the idol name because he had a nametag (meaning she didn’t need to read the video comments or ask around, the name was just there). We know that in some EXO dance practice videos they had nametags on their shirts, but they’re not the only group in kpop industry who does that. BTS, GOT7 and others did so it could be easier to identify the members. 

And another point: for the story told, if it was JI, the most probably period of time she became a sasaeng was in 2014. That’s because she admits she spent one year and half being one until the time she found out the guy had a girlfriend. And, knowing he had a previous public girlfriend before, what are the chances of someone just delude herself so hard to think he won’t date again and be surprised when he does so? With another girl group member??? And around the time, if we consider this timeline as real, the video she was one of those: Overdose (really bad quality) Mama or Wolf (there’s Growl, but it’s a video with no tag name in it). 

And even at that time, look at the video quality. How can you suppose the idol is handsome with a quality like this?? 

720p

1080p

The difference with a REAL HQ video

In the last video, I can see pretty well their beauty and moves. On the top ones, I can’t do it pretty well tbh.

This sentence confirms what the OP said at the beginning of the video, about this happening a few years ago (imo, she was in HS or something).

She spent 1.5 year being a sasaeng. Probably didn’t pass much the born baby level (until she found out about her idol dating ofc). She admited it herself.

Later she explains that most of the information she got was because of “top seeds”. The definition of this term is:

In other words: or this person is a long term sasaeng from groups like DBSK and still continue to pursue this “career” with young groups or they’re fansites. There was a discussion here before about how fansites and sasaengs are somehow alike with their methods, having ties with companies (which could explain, for example, why 9493 room and other kd fansites stopped posting pictures of them).

“... in exchage from information”. An example that in this circle, information is NOT for free. So, if you see someone being a sasaeng or friend of a friend of one, think about those words.

“of course there were rumors going around that the two have something going on between each other”, continues next.

That’s the only detail she gives about the idol, another one that makes people think it’s JI because of his recent dating news.

But didn’t people think that maybe, just maybe, it’s related with someone that is still dating in secret from the major public? Because, when you see her reaction, she continuously taps her fingers on the table, like the event still gives her distress. Again, I believe she would hardly react like this if it was an idol that had a previous public relationship. Even if she loved him and genuinely believed she could be his girlfriend, it’s like his type, so why act so surprised with someone when the pattern just repeats itself?

So, being this story real or not, there’s a high chance this celebrity is not him. After all, idols have sometimes those stereotypes more than one person can fit in.

[mcrmadness]

I was writing elsewhere about why I don’t relate to he most common Asperger’s traits and why do I think I have a logic explanation to everything they think makes me an asperger, and the text got so long I might as well just copypaste some of that on here:

It's also so hard to find any good list of Asperger’s symptoms because almost every list says "may or may not be like this", and I definitely am missing the core symptoms of Asperger's and autism. I only relate to those symptoms that are present in both, Asperger's/autism AND adhd, and then to symptoms found in ADD but not only in Asperger's/autism.

I also lack anything from childhood that makes a kid a typical autistic kid. And many things that I share with autistic people I can already explain with other things like my personality, e.g.:

I don't like people because I'm an introvert, not because I'm not neurotypical; and I'm aroace which is why my interests are more important to me than human relationships.

I don't look people in the eye because I am highly sensitive person and an introvert. I also have lots of traumas from other people which makes me act like that because I still basically expect people to start shouting at me or something out of blue, so I'm sometimes acting the same way as a dog that has been beaten too many times and can no longer trust humans.

And this can be easily seen as weird and antisocial when I'm looking at the walls and ceiling and everything else but the person I'm talking to, it just helps me concentrate when I can stare at something that gives my eyes things to do. I'd probably be counting people's nose hair and get distracted by that if I stared at them.

Being stared at overall makes me highly uncomfortable because of being an introvert and HSP.

And me being sensitive to things is also a HSP thing + migraine.

The overstimulation and sensory overload I feel because of HSP is different to those with autism. I have a filter, I can stand that into certain levels but the filters fills up faster than non-HS people’s and then I just start seeing and hearing everything. I’ve understood that people with autism don’t have this kind of filter and when they go to places with lots of stimuli happening all around, they can’t take it the second it happens. In my case I can stand it even when the filter is full but if I don’t get peace soon, I usually get irritated and eventually end up with a headache.

I just wish they would give me an opportunity to explain why I think what I think and didn't just suggest medications for this and that. I mean this psychiatrist already was talking about meds and how he could suggest me a anxiety medication and how "some medications do cause the feelings to go numb, unfortunately". Me on my ANTIDEPRESSANTS was like having depression without melancholy. I couldn’t focus even that little I now can.

How did I end up with an Asperger’s diagnosis, then? I think it’s all just a misunderstanding and professionals understanding my words the wrong way and focusing too much on how I’m on the outside rather than actually paying attention on what I say is happening inside my head. So far I've got social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder on paper. With the latter I've been living since early childhood and I got the diagnosis when I was 28. And when I went to a psychiatrist last time with this anxiety shit (I was 22), I was desperately looking for a diagnosis with anxiety and what did I get? I got told I can't get therapy if I don't eat medications because "it does not work without meds and we don't have any resources for that", and only when I actually was so mad I finally stood up for myself and said "I'm not going to put any kind of pill into my mouth ever again so f this is all about medications, I guess we're done here." and was already ready to leave and that's when the doctor was a bit baffled and I swear she sounded a bit annoyed when she asked what would have I wanted from therapy, then.

They did not take me seriously, they saw just the social phobia that I told millions of times not being the problem. Me not leaving the house because I was so afraid of accidentally having low blood sugar was not social phobia. I wasn't afraid of people stealing my blood sugar you know??? But they thought I needed group therapy and it was the only solution and there I could also get therapy, even tho I told them I don't like forced socializing and I don't want to go there. They still booked me an appointment with people from that group therapy thing and I legit felt like we'd have sat in that meeting room for days until I'd say "okay I will try it". It literally was just them trying to talk me over to try it. And I went to this thing a couple of times until I messaged them that it's not my thing, I'm not coming there anymore and that's why they cut contact with me because I didn't accept the offered therapy method. And afterwards I went to see my information on the website with medical information and nearly fell of the chair because it said I had been diagnosed with Asperger's. With my mom we actually came to the conclusion it’s because they needed some kind of diagnosis to be done in order to get in that group therapy but I am still stuck with this stupid diagnosis that no doctor now is willing to take away! I'm sure my stubborn behaviour and "I don't like people in places like these" was what made the psychiatrist think it must be Asperger's. They were and still are only worried about people not being able to be a part of the society and an individual has to change instead of trying to make the society better place to live for everyone.

The previous doctor I had for 5 years (ages 17-22), at that time my dad was going to Asperger tests a few times and we all were certain that he has Asperger's too but nope, he doesn't. And at that time we all were also interested in knowing if I have Asperger's and I asked about it from that doctor and he immediately said nope, he doesn't think I have that at all. I also was to neuropsychiatric tests when I was 22 and there were some things, mainly about social skills and emotions and feelings and my "obsessive-compulsive" behaviour they thought supported the Asperger's. My explanations again: Social anxiety. I have problems with emotions because my dad has anger issues and I only lately realized I'm afraid to let all the feels come out because I'm afraid of losing control and accidentally hurting myself, someone else or breaking something. And I don't want that, I need to be in control of myself at all times. I also find it hard to cry because I feel like I can't cry hard enough, I should literally cry my eyes out for it to be efficient. When I thik about anger, I think I just see in my head how my dad reacts to it and I don't want to be like that. So I keep it all in and only way to let it out is by channeling it into something else, like writing, drawing or playing video games. (This is a HSP thing but could also be ADHD thing.) I have the results of the and everything they say about me understanding social cues wrong... I think that's it, they think I don't understand them when it's just because of the heavy bullying that made me unable to trust anything other people do or say. I'm actually good at reading people, I don't have trouble understanding people's facial expressions. I myself don't really use facial expressions because it's a self-defense mechanism, I'm not "allowed" to let people see how I feel. Also social anxiety made me really think i was the center of the world and everyone who laughed, was laughing at me, and combined with bullying, I felt like everyone was talking about behind my back and I just felt so hated because it WAS the truth, but I also was sure that also people who don't know me, do that. So me misunderstanding social cues and those were not typical Asperger's but just caused by bullying and being hated by everyone, and excessive loneliness which sometimes felt like I was going crazy and started having voices in my head because I just needed to have a conversation. I still sometimes think friendships work like they did when I was a teenager because that was the last time I've had an actual friend group or even actual friends. I mean friends who I can actually meet with. Only one of those people is still in my life and we live about 2km from each other but still we meet like 1-2 times a year because we always keep talking about how we need to meet and then don't meet. Rest of my friends I know through internet and I’d so much want to meet but can’t and I can only try and guess how I’d work in situation where I’d be in the same room with them because I no longer remember how that even works. That’s how lonely I am because I can’t get to use social skills outside of the internet that much like, ever. I also had to do lots of learning with social situations when I got over the worst parts of social anxiety, it prevented me from learning things you learn as a teenager because I'd enter panic mode when someone talked to me and then spent the rest of the day analyzing it and wishing I was in control and did something differently. Same thing happened with the antidepressants, 5 years of my life without emotions and feelings. They were taken away when I was 17 and then I got them back when I quit the meds and was 22 and suddenly I should have needed to know how to deal with adult emotions.

So, long story short, bullying left me with inability to read other people CORRECTLY but that does not mean I wouldn’t be able to read people. Nowadays I don’t do the mistakes that much anymore, I sense people’s emotions very easily and I mirror people. I might be weird but it’s not because I would act weird or use weird, inapproprite facial expressions. I enjoy being weird so when I do that, it’s usually because of my sense of humour just not matching with other people’s. But there’s still people who DO understand it, it’s they usually just are not neurotypical.

#mcrmadness' random stuff #mcrmadness' deep thoughts

[saltine-kakyoin]

OH AND for the other ask thing, mayhaps 🎯 🔭 🎞 🥐 and 💌? this is also quite a few hgjkghd if u don't wanna do them all that's fine!!!! i hope u can find a moment of relaxation tonight

it’s no worries!! i’m really appreciative of these because my sister and her fiance are talking about me flying home in the other room and i am truly tryna be like ⬇️ thank you for the kind wishes man… you already know this but ilysm ; J ;

the rest of this gets really long, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore!

🎯 if you could gain any skill instantly, what would it be?

broo this question is like a callout post… i have a list of skills i’ve been meaning to learn since at least august of 2018 that has regretfully gone untouched + unloved.. I would say, either the ability to speak spanish or ASL? or maybe how to hand embroider, or to do calligraphy? (fun fact: i bought a quill at last year’s ren faire, mostly as a prop for the game of whodunnit we do every day + I was going to learn to use it properly but it’s sat in my RF tub since november.. la tragedie) i’m really godawful at cooking and i don’t know how to bake, so maybe i should prioritize those..i desperately dream of baking loaves of bread for my friends and family, wrapping them in twine + writing kind notes, and hand-delivering them.. uGH ;J;

🔭 what’s your go-to topic to learn about when you’re bored?

it really depends on what i’m into! most of the time, i love deep-diving and learning the weird ins-and-outs of the lore of whatever i’m really into! my brother can testify for me staying up all night on the dragon ball wiki trying to make heads or tails of the different timelines.. August-November, though, i love learning about handicrafts! i have an entire playlist on youtube dedicated to leatherworking, bookbinding, woodburning, + other funky crafts that i’ll hopefully one day delve into so that Corylana can evolve from Ditsy invader zim-kinning elf to a tru Explorer of the Woods who has seen shit + lived to tell the tale! c:

🎟 what are some artists/bands whose music brings back childhood memories for you?

i’m such an audiophile so this question, i think, is probably the loveliest one to be asked ^ ^ a really important thing to understand about this answer is that i spent the latter half of my formative years locked up in a house all day w/ 2008 internet as my primary source of entertainment. 

most of my childhood is tied up in songs as opposed to bands. my sister and i were really Addicted to yugioh amvs, so we listened to a ton of alt rock bc that’s what all the amvs were set to? the most iconic one was this joey x mai amv from like 2008 that i am SO glad still exists.. he is everything you want Stays one of my favorite songs solely bc of polarshipping (this is a Lie that song SLAPS)  chasing cars, eclipse of the heart, iris, you and me, and hfhsh remember the name were really Crucial songs ;v; i was also ObSESSED w britney although my mom hates her + i vividly remember that they used to play hips don’t lie Every Single Time we went to eat at buffalo wild wings, so it became another obsession. my mom really loved ymca so we listened to that all the time, too c:

also FUCK my sister brought this up… the first 3 seconds of untouched by the veronicas sets off my fight or flight response because SO many people used it for their iconic 2008-2010 “xyz productions” title cards, FUCK.

things changed once we moved back to north carolina (read: my sister and i became mortal enemies?) i’m about to oust myself but vocaloid was such a huge part of my childhood (it’s also why i joined choir at all, which is hilarious considering that’s basically the rest of my life lol) i enjoyed a TON of different artists, but i remember for a fact that i was obsessed with wowaka, deco*27 (egomama and aimai elegy were particular faves) (ALSO TWO BREATHS WALKING + LOVE DISTANCE LONG AFFAIR WAIT.. WAIT…. OMG), and jin (ms. kagerou project....

on a mildly unrelated note (does hs count as one’s childhood? hm), disney’s candlelight processional brings back so many warm memories from high school! although I cannot fuck with the hallelujah chorus, even 2 years after graduation, because it brings me back to the first time I performed it + my throat locked up on stage and i couldn’t breathe consistently for like 4 minutes! ; J ; i vividly remember debating whether or not i could make it through the song w/o passing out or sitting down (if you sat down to be carried out during the performance, you didn’t receive your complimentary tickets bc you didn’t perform the whole show. My dilemma was that Hallelujah is the final song of the show + i had powerhoused through every song before it)

🥐 what food is your go-to when you want something easy to make/prepare?

in moments of dire hunger, my brother and i always resort to ramen with broccoli! ramen is a1 on its own but there’s something about the broccoli that truly elevates it.. idk. i cannot wait for when i have more time to cook + look back on this answer and cackle at my lack of cooking skills ;v;

💌 what’s something you love about the last friend/family member you texted?

the last person i texted was my brother ben! and bro where the fuck do i even Begin with benji, oh my god.. he and i have been through the trials and tribulations of childhood alliance + betrayal, we’ve walked through the fires of hell + lived to tell the tale of it to our mom even though we both agreed we wouldn’t snitch.. benji is a legend

I feel the same way about ben that you do about lj! we’re almost always on the same wavelength about stuff, and i feel like i can talk to him about genuinely anything c: we swing wildly between being Literally Incoherent and manic to being very real and sometimes philosophical and it is always yeehaw Times. one of the things i appreciate most about ben is that he’s SUCH a good sounding board for ideas- i always bounce my new concepts off of him and he almost always has something interesting to add or consider. sergio, and most of my other aus, would deadass Not Exist without ben’s inputs c:

#long post #ruth you are such a blessing bc the second question got me to drag my sister + brother-in-law outta their airport talk and we spent a frfr #somehow they're still on youtube w/ no problem despite featuring full-length songs?? #2008 youtube is Indomitable #anyhow i feel much much better after answering these..thank you so much! you always make my day better and ily bro ;J; #sriracha ask game #fullmetal-the-last-alchemist

[artisticallys]

              omg hey... what’s going awn  ?  i havent dont an intro in soooo long i dont even have anything fun or interesting to say about myself errrrrr my name is sam  !  i use they/them pronouns we big chillin.... im real bad at answering messages but i get to them eventually i schwear. yep that’s all if anyone wants to plot or whateva just lmk okie  ?  there’ll be a tl;dr at the bottom before plots if u dont wanna read all this it’s a lot-_____-  without further adieu may i present miss scout kang.... 

﹤𝙺𝙸𝙼 𝙲𝙷𝚄𝙽𝙶𝙷𝙰, 𝚂𝙷𝙴/𝙷𝙴𝚁, 𝙲𝙸𝚂𝙵𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙻𝙴﹥; * - hello SCOUT KANG. long time no see. i know a lot about you. like how you're TWENTY TWO, how you're a GAME DEVELOPMENT major,  and in fact.. how you KILLED YOUR TWIN BROTHER AT HIS REQUEST AND LIED TO YOUR FAMILY ABOUT HIS PASSING AWAY TO STAY IN THEIR GOOD GRACES. would be a shame if it got out, wouldn't it ? so let's play a game. 𝚃𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝙾𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙴 ?

ok so yeaaaaah her secret is kindve a lot ! we gone get there... but first i gotta discuss her childhood u kno ? set things up <3 scout was born to 2 vewy loving parents with a twin brother. there were complications in the pregnancy some medical shit i cba to research but basically her brother wasn’t getting all the nutrients he needed to develop with a good immune system. scout was born two minutes before him, he never let her forget it with his hag jokes and she never let him forget when it came to calling shotgun. 

as i said her brother was born with an auto immune deficiency it left him in a place to get sick very, very often. almost anytime he caught the flu he was hospitalized and generally his life was lived through a glass case from the outside world. and oddly enough it made scout feel trapped too as he was her twin flame, they were the best of friends and wherever he was she wanted to be. there came a time where his health plummeted drastically, doctors weren’t sure he’d make it and the pressure of it all finally cracked down on their father

not being able to watch his own flesh and blood rot away in a hospital bed he took his chance to get out while he still could and vanished into the night never to be seen again. scout remembers hearing an argument between her parents before pretending to be asleep when he came into her room and gave her a final kiss on the forehead and secured her blankets about her body.

it was a shock, really, when her brother pulled through and was somehow stronger than ever. an elaborate hoax was curated by their mother but scout knew, and deep down she thought her brother knew too. but it’s hard to give life to such a grievous monster and so it stayed in a grave.

life went on, doctor and hospital visits became routine and her brother never let things get in the way of living his life. in high school they were quite the pair. mostly it consisted of conversations about where they wanted to run off to after graduation, who their dream spouse was ( he always wanted to marry the student body president while scout had dreams of marrying some degenerate *her brothers words* ), things theywanted to do before dying. they wrote that stuff down on an old study guide scout was using to cheat off of for ap chemistry....

which was something she did often as early middle school days, her mother planted the seed of her going to medical school. to find a way to help people like her brother and at first it was a welcomed idea, do good for people like the one she loved more than life. time went on though and the pressure to have a 4.0 to get into a good premed school with tuition help was mounting. it made dreams that had been forced upon her to morph into something ugly but there was no hopes of standing up to her mother, not when she was already looking forward to such a future. but scout didn’t have the best work ethic when she wasn’t really invested in something, she was smart yeah but that just... wouldn’t cut it and she found that out real fast

her scenes changed quickly during the summer of junior year. her brother had fallen incomprehensibly ill, worse than she had ever seen him and the fear she had as a child slowly crept back, licked up her neck and nested on her shoulders making a home there. reports came back soon enough and he was diagnosed with leukemia. at first it was manageable, some chemo and radiation should do the trick, they said. then it became bone marrow transplants and blood transfusions and fluid drips. she was the first to volunteer, obviously as his twin, for marrow transplants, blood, any organs he might need. 

desperation came in the form of a crying mother after news that he wasn’t going to live past christmas came. it came to scout as her mother accused the doctors of knowing nothing and doing nothing for her son. and it lastly came to her brother when he had been going through these treatments for 2 years and he still could feel how his soul was rotting away. how he was just a carcass in a paper thin nightgown. 

it was then he proposed the idea they travel and cross things off their bucket list and scout both ready to escape greyed walls and sterile affections as well as their small town agreed, readily. took every penny she earned from working, even opened up a gofundme for this trip and was lucky. things went well, so well in fact, that the pair forgot that half of them had one foot in the grave already.

until one day his pain became unbearable, too much for him to handle anymore, and he asked scout as she was helping him into bed after an attempt at leaving the house that day. it was hushed, whispered in shame and fear. had what he just said really happened? was the summer sun getting to be too much? it wasn’t until he had cleared his throat and said it with his chest, “i want you to kill me.” 

call her wrong but she actually laughed. retracted from him with brows creased and a confused laugh slipping out. there’s no way he could be serious. but when he didn’t laugh too she knew he meant it and that’s when she knew she had a choice to make.

it took a week of pondering the thought before she came to the conclusion that she’d end her brothers suffering. they spent the next few days doing something that haunts scout to this day really: planning the best way for her to kill him. for her to end her twin flame. 

their last night together was something memorable, spirits were shared and tears were shed. he left her with only 2 promises to keep.   1. never reveal to anyone that she ended his suffering and 2. to stop letting their mother decide scout’s life and future

she didn’t go to his funeral. didn’t want to replace what she had left of him with what was in that coffin, spent the night drinking homemade sangria and watched star trek. his 2 favorite things. 

this obviously didnt go over well with her mother, went even worse when scout announced she had dropped from pre - med and planned on becoming a video game developer. she was called an embarrassment, a failure, and that she would end up nowhere. and for a while she believed it, still does. 

she got really lucky though when the streaming community got more recognition and now she plays video games for a living and attends classes to make good games. 

TL;DR 

scout grew up w a really sick brother, their dad left, and scout basically became her brother’s keeper. was forced into studying shit she had no interest in and when her brother had enough suffering asked her to take his life, which she did. now she streams video games with hopes of making her own and somehow finding her mother’s love again. 

𝑃𝐿𝑂𝑇𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑆  ? 

got the songs it’s you & bang bang stuck in my head rn maybe some romance shit off theeeees? dunno...

dudes... some people who knew her AND her brother growing up like maybe they went to hs together idk maybe they’re like girl what ever even happened...

ex’s yupppp gimme

her bestest friend(s) maybe even shares her world w them u kno? im in it...

maybe something unrequited or like some sort of clueless sheet who knows!

frenemies...? like enemies that actually just have some weird tension they gotta get through :kissing:

literally anything u think scout would be good to fill like if u got any wcs?

OMGGG wait last one. i really want someone who her brother was in love with or like had feelings for and shit got crazayyyy after he died we can discuss

#bro this intro is CRACKEDDDD #sorry i included a tldr i felt it was too long but if u still read it all really smooch? #error.intro #my plots are kinda doodoo but that's fine i'll think of more i swear #ummmthats it yup bye

[snakuchan]

about me tag 

aye listen up @13-scoups, yoongi needs to make way because my heart...you own it asdfghj thank you for tagging me again :”))

The rules are:

Tag the person who tagged you. 

Answer the questions.

Tag 10 people.

How tall are you?

5 feet and 3 quarters. I’m the runt of the group, those 3 quarters mean the world to me 

What color and style is your hair?

Medium brown with blonde highlights and copper tones. Since it’s getting hotter and I’ve already spent some time in the pool, she’s getting lighter uwu. I have my hair in an A-line bob but it’s been a few months and the shortest ends are past my shoulders already :^( I’m planning on getting a simple bob right above my shoulders cause i dont wanna grow my hair out just yet 

What color are your eyes?

Light brown? Hazel? Tbh it depends on light. I’ve worn grey contacts that straight up make my eyes look a bit blue and people think yeah those are your eyes

Do you wear glasses?

Yeet, I’m blind :^(

Do you wear braces? 

I had to suffer with them for 3 years from 8th to 10th grade and im never going back idc if those bitches are getting crooked again 

What is your fashion style?

Feminine? I only wear dresses and long skirts uwu. Miss me with them skinny jeans in this Miami weather bro 

Full name?

Cynthia~

When were you born?

December 11, 1999 (love making fun of my 2000 people even tho i am in spirit a 2000 child)

Where are you from and where do you live now?

I’ve lived in Hialeah my whole life and plan on dying here fam 

What school do you go to? 

Uwuu let’s not go to into too much detail ;) My uni’s a pretty popular school and it’s essentially every Florida student’s safety net if they can’t make it into the more competitive unis. There’s like 60k students parking’s a bitch pls help :)

What kind of student are you? 

Uh the quiet type maybe. I’d rather not do teamwork and I just mind my business. Really I’m more of a get in get out type of student, I refuse to stay on campus for longer than necessary. I either get As or Cs because I sort of prioritize which classes are more important so I guess I still have hs mentality where I ignore the “elective” type classes. Need to work on that oof 

Do you like school? 

Sometimes. I actually took the most recent semester off (which ended like last week) because anxiety :))) My body was just not handling it well. The times I do like a school are honestly when I feel like I could get a moment of peace and quiet on campus but that’s not often 

Favorite subject? 

Any science subject really but probably more chemistry (I’m majoring in biochemistry)

Favorite TV show? 

You mean favorite netflix series? asdfgh no it’s probably Buffy the Vampire Slayer pls never let this masterpiece die off

Favorite movie? 

I love so many movies so I could never really pick but let’s just go with The Fifth Element cause why not. I have weird nostalgia for it and idky 

Favorite books? 

I haven’t read in the longest time what a shame :(( but Esperanza Rising and Tennyson are my absolute childhood faves. Also Strange Sweet Song idk it just hits me in a way. You could say I’m still a whore for teen fiction. Oh shit that’s right The Night Circus is fucking *chef’s kiss* delicioso 

Favorite pastime? 

Coloring in those therapeutic coloring books, bingewatching anything and everything, yelling at my dumbass friends on Telegram, and doing laundry. I actually like doing chores now holy shit

Do you have any regrets?

I feel like I could have worked harder in high school, especially with some of my AP classes (I could’ve fucking passed my calculus exam if i just hnng :)) and I also could’ve enjoyed myself a bit more as a teen cause now I just feel burned out. Interesting these contradictions 

Dream job?

A physician. What field? We’ll see

Would you like to get married?

YEET 

Would you like to have kids?

I would love to have kids but I’m afraid of being a bad mother simply because I feel I have no motherly bone in my body I’m just sdfgh :’((

How many?

1, just one kiddo is enough 

Do you like shopping?

I rarely do, I honestly get really exhausted so I only go when I really want new clothes and have the money for it 

What countries have you visited? 

Besides visiting family in Cuba, none :^( and honestly Cuba isn’t a real vacation cause dealing with some of my relatives is a chore. Ask any Cuban-American really 

Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

OOF I’ve had lots but here’s one from when I was 15. It’s basically my high school, all dilapidated and whatnot. I’m scrambling around trying to get to class when I reach the third floor of the main building and walk into the main hallway to see my principal, nude and morbidly obese with chains in his hands leading to a dozen naked and anorexic women with black button eyes (Coraline?) and like a mouse’s head? The women were scrubbing the floors and walls until their hands and knees bled. It’s all I remember but it’s stuck with me all these years and every time I think about it I get a bit nauseated 

Any enemies?

Probably not. I really don’t care about anyone around me besides the people I befriend. I’m probably an enemy to someone but I wouldn’t know. When I tell y’all ignorance is bliss 

Any significant others?

Been single my whole life :)

Do you believe in miracles?

Hmm I am religious so I’d say yes 

How are you?

Well, my sunburn’s healing fantastically thank fuck can’t say ass about the scrape on my knee tho. About to shower and eat dinner :)

Tagging @mycandylover0822, @ilovewonu, @girlwithluvs lol i need friends *twitch* Why the fuck do I write so much?? Hopefully this has been a wild ride for u fucks ily all 

#if u guys read this in its entirety u own my ass #uhm why in the fuck is it thundering so much ok

[gfn-sam-evans]

Texts || Fabrevans

Taggings: Sam Evans & Quinn Fabray When: Thursday to Saturday Notes: Getting to know each other! <3

Quinn: Please do! And once you've got it, we'll talk about a vlog. Quinn: Oh geez. That's such an unflattering picture!! Quinn: Honestly, I started getting bored. Everyone was so busy with each other, I figured I'd get home to Jude. He gives me all the attention I want. Sam: Aye, aye! It shouldn’t be too far from now. I’ve talked to Blaine about singing there. Sam: It’s not! I think it’s cute. Sam: I didn’t realize you were bored.

 Quinn: Oh that'll be a great show then. I'm sure other people will show up to join in. Quinn: oh but it really is. I could always send you a better one. A way cuter one. Quinn: I mean it was fun at first but then idk...i was ready to leave. I felt slightly odd ball out

 Sam: I hope. Sam: Business is good but it’s not booming and I don’t want to hit a bad stretch of months. That freaks me out. Sam: I won’t say no to that. Sam: I didn’t realize how fast the night turned until that truth or dare game happened. Sam: I hope I didn’t make you feel awkward

 Quinn: I understand. I can see why you'd freak out. Your business is your baby. You want it to do well. Quinn: Well hopefully we can get you some publicity and get more people to come in :) Quinn: Hmmm, now i gotta pick a good one. GIve me a sec. Quinn: I think everyone was just tipsy, and horny apparently lol Quinn: oh no no. You didn't make me feel awkward at all. I won't lie, it wasn't a bad sight

 Sam: It really is. I never thought I’d have my own store. I still pinch myself about it. Sam: Yeah. Even my date and I got carried away but I reeled it in. Sam: It was fun to do that. Not something I wanted a group of people I know to see but I couldn’t back down.

 Quinn: Was it something you always wanted to do? Or did little Sammy have other aspirations? Quinn: Oh I saw that. Although, I think she would have been okay if you hadn't. Quinn: Hey sometimes alcohol makes us do the wildest things. As long as you had fun with it, that's all that matters

 Sam: Little Sammy wanted to play football but when that didn’t look like it was happening he changed things. Sam: You saw us making out? Sam: I did but when people started taking their shirts off I didn’t know if it was about to turn into a sex party.

 Quinn: So I take it you were a football player in high school? Woulda been just my type.  Quinn: Oh I thought you meant the lap dance. No. I didn't see you make out. I'm assuming this happened after I left. Quinn: Yeah it was getting wild. And while I'm not afraid of wild, I had had enough for one night

 Sam: You’re into jocks? I still play but only when I’ve got time. Sam: Yeah. That’s why I was confused. I took her home and then left after she fell asleep. It was a fun date but I don’t like being that guy who hooks up with someone right off the bat. Sam: Kissing is fine though. Sam: You’re not? What’s the wildest thing you’ve done?

 Quinn: Well I mean I was in HS. I was head cheerleader after all. But I was super into the artistic types too. Quinn: Ahh gotcha. Sorry for the confusion. But that's very gentlemanly of you. Quinn: I don't think there's anything wrong with kissing on the first date. Especially if you've had a good time... or you're super into/attracted to them. Quinn: Wildest? Ummm... climb up to the roof of a house and jump into a pool, half naked? I mean granted I was drunk so that could have been super dangerous.

 Sam: I try to draw but I’m not the best. I can do macaroni art and make actual masterpieces with it. I can show you if you ever want to see it. Sam: Quinn! That’s insane! Even I wouldn’t do something like that.

 Quinn: Wait seriously?? I have to see this. Ive never heard of someone who makes macaroni masterpieces. I'm intrigued.  Quinn: Yeah... not one of my proudest moments. I won't lie... I did a lot of stupid stuff the first two years after HS...

 Sam: They’re good. What I lack in drawing I’ve picked up with macaroni. Sam: Why after high school?

 Quinn: That's impressive. You're full of surprises Sam Evans Quinn: Well pretty much my whole childhood and high school career I had an image to uphold. For the sake of my mother basically. I got tired of it. So when I graduated, I wanted to live my own life. I uhh... I partied a lot. I was super social. But along with all of that, I hung out with the wrong crowd, did things I shouldn't have.... Just lost control of my life basically.   Quinn: wow I'm sorry, we barely know each other and I'm unloading all this heavy stuff on you. I'm so sorry.

 Sam: I like you shared that with me. I did a lot of stupid things in college. Not to live a deprived life but because I hung out with a lot of frat guys. They wanted me to pledge but I didn’t want to go through the whole Greek thing.

 Quinn: Are you sure? That's alot of information I'm sure you didn't want to know. Quinn: But yeah.. I didn't even bother with sororities. But I knew where all the parties were. Living in LA, there's always a party somewhere

Sam: We’ve all been through stuff, Quinn. It’s s lot but it’s still things that help me get to know you better. Sam: I spent my freshman year drunk most of the time. I had fun and met a lot of cool people. Did crazy things kinda kind what happened at that party.

 Quinn: I don't tell people these things. Even some of my closest friends here in Nashville know about this part of me. About my past. Quinn: Yeah sounds like me. I didn't even finish though. I uh... kinda got kicked out because I missed too many classes.  Quinn: I'm uh... really not proud of that.

 Sam: I used to dance for money. Sam: Only sharing that because you said you told me something real personal. But I get doing things you’re not proud of.

 Quinn: Sam you didn't have to do that. Just because I'm basically word vomiting right now doesn't mean you have to too. Quinn: But now I know why you're so good at it.

 Sam: That was me drunk. William sent me the video and I could tell I lost my touch. I needed money to send home and that was a quick way without dropping out of college. Sam: Just don’t tell anyone. Okay?

 Quinn: I've always heard it was a good way to make some serious chunk of change.  Quinn: Your secret is safe with me. I promise. I wouldn't tell a soul.

 Sam: It is. I made a crap load. It was insane because I’ve worked all types of jobs but that one was a last resort job and it paid the best. You lose a little of yourself and I had to go slow with giving my parents the money because they thought I was delivering pizzas.

 Quinn: oh wow. So like on average how much were you making a night? If you don’t mind me asking. I won’t lie but I kinda wish there wasn’t a stigma about the adult business. They’re just trying to make a living like everyone else.

 Sam: it depended on the night and how busy it was. The most I made in one night was $300. Sometimes you get requested by clients. I was one of the favorites there which seemed weird but it was extra money. I did it for a few months.

 Quinn: Wow. That's nice. The money I mean, not being favored by people. I'm glad you found what you actually wanted to do though. Although  some lucky lady is gonna be able to see your experienced moves.

 Sam: it’s nice but it messes with your head. I didn’t really want to date for awhile and didn’t exactly like to be touched. Sam: Technically many lucky people have.

 Quinn:  Oh wow. I never even thought about it messing with someone. I'm sorry. Here I am praising you for it and when in reality... it sounds like it's something you didn't really want to do.  Quinn: Well true but it's not the same like in the intimacy of the bedroom. That's what I meant.

 Sam: It’s cool, Q. You didn’t know and it wasn’t all bad. I met interesting people and got to take part in shows. It felt like being in theater with some of the acting we did. Just when I thought about what it was in the end. That’s what gets me. Sam: Oh. Uh, yeah. That...I haven’t heard any complaints when it comes to that.

 Quinn: Okay then, let's just say you were in Magic Mike... the musical? lol idk Quinn: Well from seeing your moves the other day, I didn't think you had

Quinn: I had a good time yesterday btw

 Sam: I did too! Sorry I didn’t realize I had pasta sauce on the side of my face.Sam: Magic Mike would make an interesting choice for one.

 Quinn: It's alright. It happens to the best of us. It was cute seeing you slightly blush. Quinn: actually i think it's actually a thing...

#texts: quinn

[deeeelightfuldee]

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? I would be devastated. Even if we are no longer talking, it would destroy me to know they aren’t on this earth anymore.

Is there something you’re happy about at the moment? not really no. well, I mean I’m happy with a conversation thats happening.

Do you want someone dead? absolutely not

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? if it’s kile we are referring to, yeah. I’m getting a lot better putting it out of my mind. my other exes heckin no except for the other one I loved.

Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal? absolutely. we have adopted some from that method ahah

What is something you tend to worry about? people I care about. Like I worry that they’re safe, mentally OK, healthy, etc.

What is something you do that is unhealthy? hold on too long.

What is something you do that is good for you? I talk well about myself usually and I look for positives

What last caused you to force a smile? something in a video i thought was funny

What was the last video game you played? Was it fun? animal crossing. my controllers are SUPER whacked so it wasn’t too fun. I miss playing my games but I can’t afford new controllers yet

What is something not many people know about you? my assaults/history probably. I’m a very private person over all so i think most things people know about me are things they can see.

What word describes your basic style? classic

Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? oh a customer once told me that because they wanted a special ordered crib that day and it was a 12 week wait. so obvs a legit reason -.-

Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? .

If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it? ..

Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better? yessssss

Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)? brushing teeth or CHANGING THEIR SHEETS

Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it? I made a choice to let go of a love that was destroying me. the motivation was like okay, i’m seeing he doesn’t love me, hes not going to love me. I’m spending my time, energy, and attentions to love him and I could be missing out on someone who loves me back.

What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master? sewing

Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight? never for me but I’ve gone with friends who were getting them -.- ridiculous

Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot? yesssssssssssssssssssssssss and yes

Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings? I’ve done that for school but not on my own personally

Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children? art, animated shows/movies, games

Is there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? hmm, not really. I like going to tjmaxx & target better if I’m with someone.

Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover? for the most part. because its not my money that pays the rent I def don’t get weird about it. but I like most ofit

Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? yes. I really want a particular type of coat but its hard to find.

Who makes you smile the most? hm. ummm... kile made me smile today he was bein a bit crass. it reminded me of how happy he used to make me. he used to be the one BY far that made me smile. these days its fairly even across the board.

What piercings do you want/have? I’d love to have my cartilage pierced again but it always gets infected because of my blood so i’m fine with what I have

What's your favorite website? probs tumblr.

Do you own a fish tank with fish? currently no

Do you like the movie 300? neverseen it.

Do you pop your knuckles? yup all the time

Do you have Photoshop? no its expensive

Do you use tinypic or photobucket? no

What’s your favourite song from the 1980s? if I had the effort I wouldlove to genuinely figure it out but I only have a quarter-butt effort rn

How about the 1990s? ^

Have you won anything recently? nerp. 

How often do you make Excel tables? What for? pretty much never.

What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? probably a bunny

Are you always available or online? I’m usually available

Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like? gluten sensitivity and dairy sensitivity

Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? I always loved silver because I think it’s so attractive but it turns out gold is VERY nice with my skin tone and since I have had to replace all my fine jewelry from kile with cheap stuff i can afford, i buy pretty much all gold.

Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? I was on a gilmore girls kick but right now im watching bobs burgers.

If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon? i loved when I used to get it done professionally but its literally several hundred dollars and I just don’t have that. 

If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. < Same.

Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? yes and no. It would be hypocritical if I said omg yes, you should always be in contact with your parents --- because obviously I never ever ever talk to my dad. But for a lot of people I know.. they put so much blame on their parents for things that are fairly unjustified or unrealistic expectations for their parents to not be human-like and remain perfect. It destroys me because I have spent years crying and aching for a father figure in my life that to think some people just create unnecessary division is frustrating. However, if there is serious conflict and its a matter of safety (physical/mental) then absolutely no problem with boundaries.

Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? hahahaha yes when I look like neither of my parents nor my siblings.

What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? honestly, loving and being loved.

Have you ever grown a berry bush? No

Have you done something new to your hair recently? I chopped about 15 inches off. 

Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? no. anxiety really has never been a problem for me, thankfully.

One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? rape

What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? i replay conversations from my split with kile despite my desire to forget it. 

How often do you have late nights out? pretty much never lol its just not my scene. I’d kind of like one or two a month but I don’t know anyone that would go out with me and it can be unsafe as a female to do so alone.

If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? yes. I’m oriented to pretty strict self-discipline so it wouldn’t be a problem for me.

If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now? either a really strong thunderstorm or cooooooooold weather

Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? my motivation is completely there but my health is not

Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? i never remember names of them because i legit tune it out in my head.

Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? I always dreamt of going to college and doing well. I accomplished that (and then some!) I got into my dream colleges. I always wanted to travel by myself and I did. I always wanted to be in love and I was.

Have you ever had food poisoning? Yup.

What are you listening to? the freakin’ funniest song ever in bobs burgers -- the derek dematopolus song 

Do you think there will be a WWIII? I would not be surprised. there is a lot of animosity in this world

Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? lol no. i’m a super smiley, happy person so it wouldn’t be expected of me.

Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would? definitely. Michael always throws me off my guard that he likes me. 

In all honesty, can a person be too nice? people always say yes that they get taken advantage of but I think those are two separate things. I believe you can be endlessly nice even with boundaries. I wish people aired on the side of overly nice than the typical overly rude

Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you? in HS Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? absolutely. the effects are devastating

Do you shop at Sephora for make-up? once in a blue moon. but only online

Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? i never really played either

Do you own a rosary? no,I’m not catholic

[manawhaat]

Rules: Tag some people you want to get to know better.

Appearance:

5′9″, short ass boy hair/pixie cut, tiny mouth, lanky af legs, freckles kinda all over (though the ones on my face have definitely faded a lot over time), kinda large ears/not so much large as they are further away from my head as most people’s, small head (seriously, I tried on a newborn beanie the other day and it fucking fit). Rounded nose, big boobs, ass that looks better than it should for a person who doesn’t work out at all, a little pudgy in the middle but overall a fullish hourglass figure. 

Personality:

Fuckin’ weird. Quiet around new people only because I know how out there and taboo I can be and I’d rather not just be 100% up front because I am introverted and like to preserve my quiet side a bit. I’m very honest, very loyal, daydream all the time. The key to getting to know me is getting me to talk. If I’m not interested in a subject I’m very dismissive and will just stay quiet, but if it’s a subject I like, you will not get me to shut up. Around my friends I’m all out, but I also deeply enjoy sitting back to just observe as they interact together/talk. I’m a very, very, VERY lovey drunk. I once spent an hour on the phone drunk calling people to tell them that I loved them- I’d gotten drunk at the hotel and walked out wearing leggings, sandals, and a t-shirt. It was 35 degrees out and my sister had to come find me bc I was gone so long. I was two blocks away in a town we didn’t know because I didn’t get reception to call people so I’d walked until I did.     

Ability:

I’m a photographer, writer, can sing, can sleep for ridiculously long times (I’m talking 18+ hours in one go), convincing people to do things they shouldn’t (including climb things, trespassing, running things over/going offroading, giving me stuff for free).   

Hobbies:

Sleeeeeeeep!! Eating, writing/reading, watching films/TV, photography for fun and hire, true crime, taking scenic drives with the windows down and radio up, taking selfies with strangers, staying up all night just to watch the sun rise, taking mini-adventures around the valley to places I’ve never been, getting lost just to see new things and find my way back home.  

Experiences:

Gishwhes lol- but really, been in a coffin filled with pop-corn, hugged a dude in the middle of a street for 20 minutes straight, made a dress out of flowers, then another dress out of paper. Zip-lined over Fremont Street in Vegas, twice. Laid under a sheet on a mortician's table, chased down wildfires to photograph them, rode shotgun with the driver in a monster truck, shot rodeos/monster trucks/moto-cross from where they enter the arena (and was almost hit by all 3), been tackled by football players while shooting a game, shaved my head by myself, been caught in a rip tide (after going into it to help a guy who couldn’t swim, then had to haul him back to shore by myself), been hit in the face with (essentially) rebar in a full-power baseball swing, sung solo in front of an audience of 400 people (twice), been photographed topless in public (in body paint), was first in line for the midnight premier of the last 3 Harry Potter films, surfed Big Sur, partook in a mass pillow fight in LA, got my septum pierced, lived in multiple haunted homes, stayed in a haunted hotel overnight, traveled across the country to go to a tumblr friend’s wedding reception, met several of my beautiful tumblr friends in person, rode a horse at full gallop through the desert in the middle of the night, have been bitten by turtles (yes, multiple), drove 17 hours straight in one day. Has been winked at by JDM, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins (twice), Richard Speight Jr., Jason Manns, Mark Sheppard, Aleks Paunovic, Tim Omundson, and has survived (barely). Had my first kiss on a baseball mound in front of a stadium full of people- Just kidding, that was Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed lol. Also kinda heavy but I was the caregiver for my mom and grandma as they fought a losing battle against cancer. 

My life:

Would be really boring if it was a TV show. Mostly sleeping, writing, watching movies- the occasional photo shoot or outing. The most exciting part about it is the porn I write/read, and even that is a little lackluster after you get used to it. 

Random Stuff:

I have a twin/ am one of 5 daughters with no brothers. I used to be an endurance swimmer in HS, I love country music, I’m a virgin, I’ve had pet rats/mice. I’ve been caught singing to my dogs at the top of my lungs. At an ice skating rink someone collided with me and their ice skate sliced my knee open when we fell. I’ve ripped my pants straight down the ass several times in public with no way to change. I carry a taser and pocket knife on me at all times, and also sleep with a gun and hunting knife by my bed (can you tell I don’t live in a safe area lol). I used to be a lifeguard. One time I was hugging Jason Manns and he apologized for being sweaty and I said, “It’s okay, I like it.”

Tagged by @thelittleredwhocould, tagging @sebbytrash @winchesterswoonathon @saxxxology @kittenofdoomage @kayteonline @wheresthekillswitch @lucifer-in-leather @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @faith-in-dean @mrswhozeewhatsis. 

#tagged #about me

[doodledrawsthings]

Alrighty here’s the masterpost for Hell’s Studio, I guess

So what the heckity heck is this au about?:

This AU spawned from a joke I made with @arsonsara about bendy looking all weird in-game because joey sucks at 3D modeling.

Basically, Joey Drew got the idea in his head that he could potentially bring his original characters to life, and then goes to do that. However, it’s not all that easy, and he ends up bringing Bendy into the real world completely off model as this hulking mess of sentient ink vaguely in the shape of a demon. Obviously Bendy is very frustrated by this. But on top of being off model, he finds even more frustration in the fact that Joey wasted precious time trying to perform a demonic summoning ritual when he could’ve spent it making the actual goddamn cartoon. Seeing how impulsive and distracted the guy can often get, Bendy decides to appoint himself the new head animator and co-producer of the show if they want anything to get done. And it all kicks off from there.

So this AU doesn’t have a big overarching plot or anything, it’s mainly just episodic and things just happen. Think of it like The Office of Parks and Rec. Most of it is goofy comedic shenanigans, but i guess there is some drama-ish stuff in there from time to time, idk it’s a mess. It’s been built off of people sending me cool ideas on Tumbler Dot Com.

I don’t intend on making an organized timeline for things that happen throughout the au because literally anything can happen at almost any time and it’s constantly being added to, so I’m just gonna list a bunch of important points about the characters and how things work.

this is kinda just so y’all have just one big post to reference.

So here we go there’s a whole heckin’ lot:

Bendy was the first character to have been brought to life. Since it was Joey's first time summoning a demon, he did it wrong and messed up the model.

Bendy had to spend the first week or so as this tall, spooky, mass of ink trudging around the studio and yelling at people about animation.

Boris came in next, this time successfully and on model. Boris, the character, had already existed in the show even before HS Bendy was brought into the real world, so the two are already familiar with each other and personally know each other.

He works with the music department with Norman and the rest of the band and also script writing.

Then comes Alice, a much newer character, written into the show about a year after Bendy and Boris are brought to life, and is supposedly Bendy’s female counterpart in the show. Because she was put into the show after Bendy and Boris were summoned, the real-world versions of the boys never had a close relationship with her before she was brought into the real world, whereas she was close to a Bendy and a Boris that don't exist in the real world.

They decided after Alice that Joey should not summon any more characters into reality.

The toons retain their memories from the episodes they were previously in before being summoned, as if they were actual personal experiences. So when Alice comes in, Bendy and Boris don't really have that relationship with her that she may have had with the in-show versions of them. And Bendy and Boris know each other already because they were written as friends in the show, together. Even before both were brought to life.

Alice and Bendy don't get along at all at first but gradually become good friends as the years go by.

Bendy in earlier years often got jealous when something threatened to take his spotlight. 

Alice works closely in the music department, writing music with Sammy and directing voice stuff and working with Susie and the other actors.

Bendy is pretty strict when it comes to the art direction of the show, but he knows his workers’ limits. If he knows they REALLY aren't capable of doing something he won't make them do it, but otherwise he’ll try to push them to do the best they possibly can,no exceptions. He just wants things to look good.

Bendy, despite maintaining a sense of professionalism as an animation director, is still a mischievous prankster when off the clock. He won't deliberately do anything to halt progress, but people still should watch their backs.

Bendy LOVES picking on Sammy because his reactions are always the best. Sammy resents this.

The toons are made of ink, water and acetone hurts them but it won't kill them. I guess it sorta makes them lose form.

Holy objects are the opposite of good for these three.

Joey, in this au, is a pretty hardworking guy and a lot of people respect him for his accomplishments. However, he is incredibly impulsive and often inconsiderate of the consequences of his impulsive actions and often gets dristracted by other things halfway into a project, so he needs someone to keep him in check. He always means well but he doesn't really have a filter for the things he says or does, and often puts himself at risk of being punched by Sammy for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Joey is not super devoted to demon worship or rituals. it's kinda more like a side hobby. He did it cuz he realized he could use that kinda magic to do a thing he wanted to do, so went ahead and did it.

Sammy, despite also having a passion for what he's good at, is exact opposite of Joey: Pessimistic and constantly acting like he hates his job. He does what he does REALLY well, and people respect him for that. But most think he's a kind of jerk,so they leave him alone. He’s good acquaintences with Susie, Alice, and Henry though.

The top three people who piss Sammy off: Joey, Bendy, Wally Franks.

Henry's kind of the voice-of-reason. Very easy going and usually able to keep calm in ridiculous situations and is also good at following directions when given. Y’know that one post about being 85% of Joey’s impulse control.

Colored ink apparently gets the toons drunk. They act differently depending on color.

The toons drink regular ink like humans drink water

Joey has absolutely no interest in raising a family, he's already got one at the studio. He’s metaphorically married to his work.

Despite the crazy shit Joey does, he still means well and is usually one to try to make up for his mistakes. If only he just prevented them from happening in the first place.

Sammy, at some point, kicks the ink machine and becomes an ink-creature for a while. I kind of consider @nollplus’s fic to be AU canon, but honestly anyone can play around with any of these ideas as much as they want to.

I don't know who of the original crew passes away first, but I know for sure that Joey goes last.

Joey teaches bendy how to play piano as a way to relieve stress, it's kind of a thing they do together.

Henry is very close with bendy, and is often one of the people the toon goes to when he needs someone who will listen to his rants and frustrations without complaining about it.

Henry and Bendy often go out together on breaks to draw or walk around the town. It’s their thing.

Boris has the kind of face that is really hard to say no to. Whether he realizes this or not is questionable.

While Boris tends to be more on the naive side, he’s not ignorant. He knows when things are bad, and sometimes knows how to read a room better than Joey can, honestly. He just thinks that having a positive attitude will spread to other people.

@Ka-star’s fic about bendy getting chased into a church by a dog is AU canon and for the longest time it made him kinda scared of leaving the studio. But he’d never admit that.

Alice is very careful when she leaves the studio and is much more sneaky about it. She loves being outside the studio. It gets a bit too stuffy in there for her.

Same goes for Boris, he doesnt have a particular place he likes to go he just likes to run around outside and get out pent-up energy.

The toons get redesigns every now and then, some more permanent than others. Bendy was the first subject of that.

Sammy's office (and much of the rest of the music department) is right by the ink pipes, which often tend to burst and leak. This poor man is in a perpetual state of frustration.

The studio in this au actually becomes very successful over the years (in more of a Disney-ish fashion rather than Fleischer studios)

The toons are kept secret from the rest of society, when they go out into public, they go wearing cheesy disguises.

Bendy is not one to be very open about his emotions. He doesn't like being seen or treated like a kid, either. When he's upset, he often tries to hide it as best he can, which is kind of hard when you visually reveal how upset you are by involuntarily melting whenever you're stressed.

Since people in the studio have known them for so long, the toons are a regular and normal sight in the workers there. So when they get new members who are absolutely blown away by how toons exist in the real world it can be a bit jarring because sometimes even they are forget how unique their situation is.

The ink machine is kind of equivalent to a glorified coffee machine for the toons. It still serves importance though, as being a quick way to heal them if they get hurt.

They very much enjoy video games as they’d probably be around long enough to see technology develop from the 1920′s to what it is today and idk but thats kinda cool.

The toons can shapeshift to an extent, doing it for too long makes them REEEALLY tired. They usually use this ability to become other characters when kids are given tours of the studio. (Or to play pranks. Bendy specifically.)

Wally never really gets outta there, the studio’s become a sort of hectic second home to most of the workers.

Joey gave bendy that sweater after impulsively taking up knitting as a hobby, just because. Bendy wears it as PJ’s.

As much of a stick in the mud as Sammy is, he refuses to be a jerk to kids. Same with Bendy, though the latter is better with kids than the former.

While Joey was out doing his thing, bringing the toons to life, everyone unanimously decided Henry should be in charge when Joey’s off distracted by something else. He was stressed out for the longest time while Joey was working on that project of his. Everyone was. Thanks Joey.

Toon logic applies to the toons in some of the weirdest ways, and has a 50/50 chance of being convenient or inconvenient.

“Thanks, Joey” has become a sort of inside joke throughout the studio.

The summoning ritual is kind of anticlimactic. When done right, it’s kinda like POOF there’s a cartoon here, now. Yay. For the toons themselves, it’s an incredibly weird feeling. One moment they’re in whatever world they came from and now they’re here for some reason.

They do a Haunted House every Halloween that is basically just the canon game, but as a spooky haunted house.

Bendy sleeps in a drawer in his office.

Muppet Bendy. Just. Muppet Bendy. Whether it’s Spud’s idea whre bendy just straight up becomes a puppet at some point for some reason or if it’s just a puppet that bendy happens to have, it’s there. 

Thaaaaat’s all I can think of right now. There is so much stuff that goes on this au and so much still being added to it that it's hard to keep track of it so i’ll probably be constantly adding to this post.

But uh these are most of the ones that stick out to me more.

#hell's studio au #hell's studio masterpost #batim #long post