#it's behind a readmore you'll fucking live if this nonsense shows up in your tag

[theorderofthetriad]

fuck it, i'm gonna be liveblogging the Loki/Matt Murdock/Tony Stark fic i found below the cut as i read it bc i need the Loki/Matt content but also i need to clown on it

so like Matt has only been Tony's lawyer (why did he get hired as Tony's lawyer? He's Tony Stark he probably has a fucking luxury fleet of lawyers) for like five minutes and he has already completely thrown any and all professional conduct out of the window by agreeing to fuck Tony.

Also, Matt is making it really obvious that he can tell when Tony's lying and that he has heightened senses and that is so phenomenally out of character for him to just let people know that. Canonically Matt is obsessive about protecting his identity and hiding his powers, he wouldn't reveal to a random lay that he could tell they were aroused from across the room especially if the random lay was Tony "couldn't keep the secret about Iron Man for even five minutes" Stark.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm tony apparently "subtly" indicated to his fucking AI to record him and Matt fucking, as in, like, Matt doesn't know that Tony recorded them fucking???? gross! i hope this is gonna come up in the plot in some way and not just be a really fucking creepy tidbit for someone to add like it was a fun sexy detail!

and now Tony's making the AI read Matt's recent text messages. this is why i didn't want to read a goddamn tony fanfic! I hate this bitch!

this fic just described Foggy Nelson as "neither overly attractive nor unattractive" BITCH HE IS THE HOTTEST GODDAMN DUDE IN THE ENTIRE MCU AND I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THAT!!!!!

Foggy just looked at him for a moment, coolly assessing before he rolled his eyes with a groan, “Oh, God, he slept with you. He is the worst lawyer.”

Thank u, Foggy, I love u, Foggy. Hate that this implies it's totally in character for Matt tho.

Matt has a mystery contact he's using for help that he implies is more insane than he is, and i genuinely don't know if he's talking about Frank Castle or himself. It's one of those two options if he's a friend of Matt's and insane. Even though he had the non-insane and definitely better option of Luke Cage. Maybe don't send someone who can get stabbed to go up against the thousand year old stabby god?

matt is spending way too much time fucking his client and not enough time actually doing his job.

Tony pulling out the "love you, babe" after like, what, three days of knowing matt murdock?? this dude is such a fucking mess i hate.

oh don't you love it when you click on a fic that was rated "mature" by the author but definitely shoulda been rated explicit? Once you start to describe the sex acts happening that's an explicit, dude! Even if it's just sucking dick!

"Matt chose not to answer that" there is literally a penis in his mouth

it's worth noting Loki has not shown up yet, i'm just slogging through this Matt/Tony content i have zero interest in.

oh, Loki has finally made it into the plot! All i had to do was complain about his absence.

Okay it has been confirmed that Matt's "guy" that is "more insane than Matt" is just Daredevil, so.... Matt.

okay but actually how would Daredevil have been able to capture Loki on his own? Loki def had to have let himself get captured.

....Matt is negotiating Tony and Loki fucking as a compromise to get Loki to stop committing crimes. I mean okay he is a lawyer but this is absolutely absurd.

[Tony] found his voice to ask, “Isn’t this incredibly weird for you as a Christian?”

“Isn’t it weirder for you, as an atheist?” Matt shot back.

“Fairly certain it’s the most weird for me.” Loki arched an unimpressed brow.

ok i will hand it to this fic it can be intentionally funny. also wow tumblr is being a cunt and not letting me highlight three paragraphs at once, just make one damn indent line, you cheap hack.

“Who’d have thought, Daredevil’s a Dom.” Loki commented from behind them.

I take that previous statement back this line is so bad it retroactively stole all of the chuckles i had from anything before this line.

Okay I actually take back that previous statement about taking back that previous statement because after that very cringey line Matt responds by being wildly over-submissive towards Loki so the fic is funny again.

Okay seriously why did the author think this fic was a mature rating and not an explicit????

They're brining sub/dom dynamics into this but imo all three of these characters would be the sub. There is not a goddamn dom among them. Like i get that Loki tries to be super dominant in non-sexual situations, but in sexual situations he is absolutely a sub. Matt likes to get his shit absolutely wrecked by someone stronger. Tony is a goddamn pillow princess. This trio with sub/dom dynamics just seems incredibly out of character for them.

okay I said that Matt was being comically submissive but wow he just keep increasing the submission and I'm kinda reeling at it. like a "he's doing WHAT?" kinda feeling.

had to double check the tags and the author really fucking tagged this "probably deserves the M rating now" DID YOU START THIS FIC WITH A TEEN RAITING!?!? HONEY. THE M RATING IS WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE STARTED WITH AND THEN BUMPED UP TO EXPLICIT.

this isn't the sort of Loki + Matt interaction i was hoping for.

oh right matt's doing this all while still (mostly) dressed as daredevil

matt just referred to Loki as a god (and not in like a "i was told to" sub kinda way,) how much more outta character is this gonna get?

Tony being a creep who records sexual encounters w/o consent never came up again like it really was meant to be a fun sexy little detail to the fic.

okay i finished the fic and i think ultimately where it fails for me (other than the complete lack of emotional interaction and previously mentioned mischaracterizations) is with Matt being so casual about sex. He's just NOT the character for a porn w/o plot unless you're writing like a religious shame kink. He's a practicing catholic, and while i know he does fuck outta wedlock he was never shown to often and i can only imagine his guilt-ridden ass would be off to confession the very next day.

And that's just about sex with women. Matt grew up catholic in the 90's. I genuinely don't believe he'd be able to even kiss a man and not have some internal crisis over it. If Matt's not gonna have a deep conversation with Father Paul about it I don't think it makes sense to happen.

#literally what should i even tag this? #should i tag the characters? #fuck it imma tag the characters #it's behind a readmore you'll fucking live if this nonsense shows up in your tag #loki #tony stark #matt murdock #otp: horned helms something about lying #mcu