#it's impiled so it counts

[meatychunks]

Conan the Barbarian and how it correlates to Mike's inner struggles

I know the topic of Mike's bedroom has been talked to death, whether it's the one-way sign or the buff dragon with nipples poster. However, rarely do I ever see talks on the Conan the Barbarian poster or even on the film itself, which is properly due to the film being somewhat notorious for its terrible treatment of women.

Whenever I do see it, people usually stick it up to being a part of his gay sexual awaking, which was sprinkled throughout his introduction in this season. And while I agree that's a part of it, I believe that they choose this film specifically rather than its sequel (which was only two years old in 86') for its depictions of minorities and masculinity to perfectly sum up his struggles with not only conformity but also toxic masculinity of the 1980s.

A HEADS-UP WITH TALKS OF SEXISM, RAPE, HOMOPHOBIA PLUS BREIF NUDITY.

Let's start with how it portrays sensitivity among men. Right off the bat, we see the film favours traditional masculine values with a conversation between Conan and his father shortly before the massacre of his tribe by the doom cult, with him telling Conan not to trust anyone and allow himself to be vulnerable, only trusting the steel of his sword which, in the film's own words, was founded by men.

Rather than this being a critique on how men are often been forced out of emotional availability by generations before them, it's taken as words of wisdom that Conan takes to heart as we see him from a scrawny kid that lost everything to a muscular killing machine, stripped from sensitivity and is seen by other characters as the prime specimen of man.

Male sensitivity is often depicted as a weakness and is unsurprisingly lumped with homosexuality as something to be ridiculed. We see this as Conan tries to sneak into the temple of the cult by pretending to be a shy and nervous bystander while wearing flowers (to which he says "for a girl" when being asked the purpose of them the scene prior), this attracts the attention of a priest who makes suggestive comments about his body all while caressing his chest. He asks to continue their discussion in private, an obvious implication of a hookup, and ends up getting killed by Conan.

Not only it's presented as something antagonistic with the act of desiring another man seen as something perverse, but also, the implications of GNC men shouldn't be taken seriously and only seen as a target for sexual assault.

Traditional masculinity carries into how women are represented. With it not only their screen time is few and far between but also only serve as sexual reward to male characters or to show off their power, women who don't fall into this category are usually ridiculed by our main protagonist, often being called sluts or hoes. They are disregarded shortly after their introduction by being killed and/or raped (including a woman being raped by Conan during his montage to power).

The only recurring female character is Valeria (we only find that's her name in the film's credits, so take that what you will) who gives the illusion of a strong character with being able to fight aside the male characters and her snarky attribute during her introduction, but ultimately ends up being a tool for Conan by falling into the wife role with her never being able to have true goals of her own. She disappears from narrative, only to show up towards the end for a tiny bit to meet her demise.

The poster reflects her role in the narrative with its composition, with her kneeling down so the viewers' eyes lead up to the main piece Conan, just an add-on to show his power.

Now that's not to say it doesn't cater to female viewers (and unknowingly to queer men) by taking full advantage of the female gaze with multiple lingering close-up shots of Conan, some framed in suggestive angles and even scenes only exiting just to show off Arnold Schwarzenegger's muscular frame (take the random sex scene with the witch for example). And while there is female nudity, like women in this film, it's treated with a lot less care with being in wide shots and going just as quickly as it appears.

Which finally brings us to this film's queer coding. It's common for macho action films to fall into homoerotic undertones due to their misogynistic tendencies, this film being no different with it being parodied in other media, even during its initial release, particularly in underground comics.

An example I like to bring up is Conan's "first time" in a fight. He's confused and nervous as he's thrust into battle bare apart from a loin cloth and is attacked by his opponent, but as the fight progresses, he gets more confident and begins to relish in it.

Overall, the film does serve escapism for it's male audience with its power fantasy elements, but rather of it being done through our main protagonist, it's done through the world where the narrative inhabits with it taking pride that worth is achieved through physical strength, wealth and sexual conquest. And while the narrative is the classic trope of the underdog going against a figure of high power, even they can't help finding his lifestyle appealing.

Now....

What does this tell us about Mike?

Well, we know that his family often emotionally neglect him and encourage him to give up vulnerability (i.e., making him give up his childhood toys that have emotional value and viewing his outbursts as just "delinquent behaviour").

His poor treatment towards El starting when they are together at the start of season 3. Starting off somewhat small with implicitly being disinterested in her when they are actually alone, take their conversation during his bike ride to the mall during his introduction or him jumping on the first chance he got on reducing their time together when Hopper stepped in (despite going against his wishes when it came to looking for Will in season 1).

However, when she starts to gain some independence through Max and stops being "his pet", rather than admit his mistakes and apologise like how Lucas does with Max or how he does to Will shortly after upsetting him, he starts using sexist language and starts to get controlling when said independence is applied to her use of powers.

His implicit homophobia during his projection, when Will (Who is canonically considered GNC during this time) implies his changed in behaviour as something negative.

And this might be a stretch, but maybe him tying his self-worth to whether or not he is able to provide and protect is also due to the societal pressures of gender roles and him feeling inferior to El could possibly be a hint of jealousy due to her being able to fulfil said roles despite her gender.

And we all know he has a certain type when it comes to men.

#stranger things #mike wheeler #gay mike wheeler #byler #it's impiled so it counts #less of an analysis and more of a ramble after rewatching one of my gay awakening films after like five years #conan the barbarian #st #character analysis #Had to rewrite this three times due to tumblrs dogshit layout #This post is a bit all over the place so let me know if anythings confusing

[takobaki]

Snowy innocence // PT 1

The Octopus and the Rice fish

Octavinelle Dorm

A/N: I had to look up so many fish for this lmao 💀 anyways most things that seems ooc do have a explanation but still kinda sucks

Word count: 1,206

Warnings: BAD WRITING, SLIGHTLY IMPILED NEGLECT AND ABANDONMENT, AND CHARACTERS MAY BE OOC, NOT PROOF READ

Other parts here

"Do you think Rice fishy is gonna be okay" A voice asked as Alkni slowly started to gain consciousness, the bright light peeking through her closed eyelids as the small girl just continued to lay there, unmoving

"Be quiet-" Another voice said as Alkni felt someone or something gently rub her head

The movement was so soft...

So gentle...

Something she had never felt before in her few years of living. All she knew was the harshness that they had shown her, and since that was all she had known, thats what she thought was normal, making her fearful of the unfamiliar action

"Do you even know how they ended up here. I doubt someone of their size could even break into the school, and even if they did, why?" The voice from before asked as someone gently picked up her small head, placing it on what Alkni assumed was a lap, something she would use to do for the stray animals outside whenever she was left out to "rot"

Slowly opening her red eyes, the little girl having to squint as her eyes slowly adjusted to the bright lights that were in the room, reminding her of the sun even though the lights were the normal brightness lights should be

There were two guys sitting near her, one with short, wavy, light gray hair, which seemed to be resting her head on his lap, and one with short teal hair that had a black stripe in it "I highly doubt that she snuck in. She's looks so young and like she hasn't been taken care of a day in her life" The light gray haired man said to the other

"Maybe we could get Sam to help, I'm pretty sure he's still here for a bit" The boy with sharp teeth responded, before looking down at Alkni again "Oh Azul- Shes awake-" He said quietly to who Alkni assumed was named Azul, making Azul quickly look down to her

"Hey little rice fish! I'm Floyd and that is Azul, whats your name" Floyd said to Alkni, making her flinch at his tone which was actually uncharacteristically kind for him, thinking he was mad at her

Attempting to push herself up, she felt a hand gently push her back down "Hey, you need to lay down, or else you'll only put more stress on yourself" Azul said as he moved her head from his lap to the couch while he got up. "We'll give you some time to adjust while we help Jade get you some tea, okay" Azul continued on

For some odd reason, Alkni somehow reminded Azul of the younger version of himself, making him feel some sort of level of obligation to protect her despite not even knowing her for a full hour

The dusty black haired child watched as Azul and Jade walked out of the room, closing the door gently as to not startle her. All three of them had a feeling she had gone through some type of abuse or neglect to end up how she ended, with small cuts, scrapes, and bruises littering her tiny body

Alkni gently sat upwards, looking around the room while seemed to be filled with bookshelves upon bookshelves, except for a large vault that was on the back wall. Thats when she realized that something felt off about her

She was warm for once

'When was the last time I felt this warm" She thought to herself as she stood up, her red eyes scanning every corner of the room, a habit she had picked up after being left alone on the streets for long periods of time before being picked back up again

Suddenly the sound of a door opening caused Alkni to panic as she quickly rushed to hide somewhere

Anywhere

Just to not be thrown out again

Tears filled her eyes as she covered her ears, sitting in a fetal position as if to protect herself from any possible harm or danger. The three Octavinelle students paused as they wondered why she seemed so fearful of them

Setting down the tray of tea, Jade slowly walked towards her, a gentle expression on his face as he bent down to her size "Hello, my name is Jade. May I know your name" Jade asked softly as he slowly extended his hand to her, in a attempt to show that he would do no harm to her

"I must let you know, we do not plan to do you any harm, and we only want to help you" Jade continued as Alkni peaked open one eye reluctantly, still very weary despite Jades comforting words. The teal haired boy gently opened his arms, inviting her into a hug in a attempt to try and gain her trust. Alkni looked around frantically, in hopes to find a exit from any possible harm

Alkni's breath hitched as she reluctantly scooted into Jades arms upon realizing that there was no other option but to go to him, flinching at the slightest movement he made out of habit.

To some students, it would be a surprise to as how good Jade was with children, yet when times called for it, he could be. And that time was now. As Alkni came into his arms, he gently patted her back, trying to make her as comfortable as possible in hopes that they could find out exactly what happened and why she had appeared here.

Sitting her on his lap, Azul placed the cup of tea in front of them on the coffee table, causing Jade to take a cup of the warm liquid and handing it to the 5 year old girl. Alkni looked up at him in confusion as she tilted her to the side slightly, wondering what he had given her was "Drink it" Azul told her as he picked up his own cup in a attempt to show her what to do

Azul watched the girl with a careful expression as she drank her cup of tea. There was something off about her, and yet that same thing also reminded him of his past self "So, we are going to ask you a few questions okay" Azul said as he smiled at her. The new students had already long since came, meaning the same thing that had happened with Yuu couldn't have happened with the girl... right?

The pale girl looked towards him for a moment before speaking "S...shiny more m...me's" That one simple sentence filled the three students with lots of confusion.

Shiny more me?

"Why don't we see if she can tell us better in the morning" Floyd said as he let out a yawn, crossing his arms behind his neck as he rested his head on them. "Maybe we can have her show us where she came from too. That might help us find out, plus if betta peacock finds out, he's gonna' be mad" Floyd added while Jade nodded in agreement

Azul nodded as he looked towards Alkni again, chuckling at the look of amazement on her face after drinking the tea 'That must be her favorite type' Azul thought with a warm smile before he spoke up again

"Are you hungry?"

#twisted wonderland #twistedwonderland #twst #twst oc #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst azul #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #twst jade #floyd leech #twst floyd #octavinelle #child reader

[cr0g-0]

Here is my entry for secret Santa! @mcyt-gt-events

I had @mossyfroggs ! Hope you like it!

(This is like, the fluffiest thing i've ever made so-so yea-:3)

---------------

I found more than just cookies...I think I found a family!

tw-Nothing. This is literally the fluffiest thing I've made. no angst at all...except maybe possibly impiled death of unamed characters...but that's brief

Word count-2.5K (Longest thing I've written to date)

----------------

“Wilbyyyyy c’mon you need to move faster!” Tommy complained loudly, tugging his brother's arm as the two walked out onto the marble countertop.

Wilbur sneezed, trying not to get any mucus on Tommy. His brother begged and pleaded that they go out to borrow Wilbur some medicine since he was “a sick and ill dummy.”

The older groaned quietly, letting out an annoyed sigh as he sniffled, whipping at his runny nose with his free hand. “Tommy I’m going as fast as I can slow downnnn."

As the two boys were navigating the counter, planning on going to the area near the cabinet with all the medicine, an alluring scent hit their noses and their bodies seemed to move on their own.

They stumbled upon a plate and a cup and Wilbur stared at it with big eyes...Tommy did not however, climbing quickly onto the plate, digging into what could have possibly been poison.

However, any small whisper of fear Wilbur had was quickly quelled as the sight of fresh cookies and a warm, chocolatey beverage were there.

Tommy gave his older brother a big goofy grin, face covered in chocolate as he continued to eat the cookie. The older borrower giggled, leaning over to wipe at Tommy’s face, only smearing the chocolate on his brother’s face further. The brunet let go of any worry and tension as he began nibbling at a part of the cookie, content with relaxing with Tommy while the two ate, ignoring the fact that they were in the wide open. Their parents finally weren’t there to supervise them and make sure the two ‘Stayed out of trouble’ and the two were overjoyed! ...But they both missed them. The two had been quickly sent off, something about an exterminator.

Wilbur had been instructed to keep his brother safe at all costs while Tommy was told to stay with Wilbur. Their parent’s had looked scared and very serious, like the time they said to never leave because the humans had taken in a cat (whatever that had meant). Wilbur and Tommy had listened of course.

Whenever their parent’s had been serious about something the two always made sure to listen except when they thought they were joking….which was hardly ever. The borrowers had been there for what felt like barely minutes as they relaxed, enjoying the fresh cookies and ‘chocolate water’ as Tommy called it.

“I wish we could have dis stuff everyday Wilby! It much better than da crackers you get us!” Wilbur nudged his younger brother, fondly smiling as he felt a yawn escape him. “Hey that’s mean-be nice to m-” He was cut off by a loud sneeze and the mild amount of tiredness he had felt got whisked away. The blond rubbed at his eyes and yawned himself, cuddling up to his brother as they sat on the now empty plate. He’d usually argue with Wilbur but he was feeling quite tired after that chocolate explosion. “Alrighhttt just this once though…” He softly smiled at his brother, leaning on him as he felt his older brother’s arm snake it’s way around his shoulder. Tommy brought his leg up to his chest as he closed his eyes, relaxing into Wilbur’s side before beginning to drift off. The older borrower looked at his brother fondly as the younger fell asleep and he crossed his legs before putting his head on Tommy, hugging the younger closer to himself. A nap seemed very nice right now…they could always get some medicine later when they woke up. It’s not like anything could happen while they were asleep or anything right? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Techno had been having a sneaking suspicion somethings or rather, someones, were living in the house….because they really weren’t discreet if they were intentionally trying to stay hidden… Seriously, these things, whatever they may be, were the loudest things ever. One of them was always talking to either themself or the other and it wasn’t like they were whisper shouting when they did this-no. They full on shouted and apparently they were right near his bed because he heard them allllllll the time. Techno honestly couldn’t tell whether he hated the voices or if he enjoyed having them. After all, sometimes he heard one, the considerably quieter one usually, singing or humming a lullaby that just…just put him right to sleep

And he swore to prime he saw small, humanoid looking shadows darting around in the dark of his room or in one of the cabinets downstairs.

So he set out on a mission.

A mission to make some cookies and hot cocoa with his father to lure the tiny people?(That had to be like, the only reasonable conclusion in Techno’s fourteen year old mind.) out of hiding. He wanted to know what they were doing in his walls after all.

The pink haired teen crept up the stairs and headed over to his father’s room, knocking a little on the frame before opening the door.

“Hey Dad can we make some hot cocoa and cookies please?” Techno asked, peeking his head into his father’s room.

Phil was just reading before looking up, noticing his son and he warmly smiled.“Oh of course kiddo!” He set down his book and closed it, making sure the page was bookmarked before he got up from his chair and walked over to the door. “What cookies do you wanna make Techno?” “I was hoping for chocolate chip…” The pinkette mumbled as he began to head back downstairs with his father in tow. The two headed downstairs into the kitchen and went to grab some aprons. Phil grabbed his and quickly tied it behind his back before going over to Techno and helping the teen tie his apron behind them. Techno went to get the baking ingredients such as brown sugar, flour, normal sugar, and baking soda while Phil grabbed out some butter, vanilla, eggs and salt and most importantly-

The chocolate chips. Once they had all of their ingredients Phil grabbed out the stand mixer, getting the correct dough hook. “Hey Techno can you preheat the oven to 350 degrees please? Oh and take out the pizza plates and baking sheets while you're at it.” The boy nodded his head and went over to the oven, opening it up and starting to remove the heavy metal pans and baking sheets. “If you don’t mind me prying-why’d you wanna make some cookies mate? Do you just have a hankering?” Techno hefted the plates onto the counter before looking over at his dad who was hard at work combining all the ingredients into one cohesive dough mound for when they scooped it and put it onto the cookie sheet. “Oh I uh…I just really wanted to spend some time with you and baking is a fun way to do that-especially around the holiday.” He mumbled a little. It was a partial lie but he really did enjoy the time he spent with his dad while baking. He looked back fondly at all the times they would cook and bake when he was younger. Making pizza’s on the grill outside or inside depending on the season. (Phil had grilled pizza outside in the winter once. Mistake.) Baking till the house could be compared to that of bath and beyond or Yankee candle depending how many times they failed to bake brownies cause they always burned… They may be the worst at doing pretty much any cooking and baking but none of that mattered. Cause as long as he was doing it with his family he was having a blast. “Awww Techno-” His father smiled warmly at him and left the standmixer, going over to Techno and asking if he could hug him before wrapping him in a tight hug. “That’s so sweet of you…just like these cookies will be depending on if we burn them or not-” He joked, hearing a loud chuckle from his son. Oddly enough, he swore he heard a little snort coming from around the fridge area. Techno smiled up at his dad, removing himself from the embrace. “Alright well let’s make sure that doesn’t happen by making the cookies shall we?” He went over to the dough and scooped it out with a spoon before putting it on the non-stick baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Once the dough had been thoroughly scraped out he went over to the oven and slid it inside before closing the door. “Hey what if we went to watch a movie while they bake? Like a shitty hallmark movie or something?” Phil jokingly suggested and the pinkette snorted. “Alright. For you Dad? Anything. Any shitty hallmark movie you want and I’ll watch it and then tell you the summary cause you’ll fall asleep again.” He grinned widely as he grabbed his dad’s arm and hurried off to the living room, going to prepare a cozy blanket setup so they could watch as many goofy hallmark movies as they wanted and not have a care in the world…. Well aside the cookies. They needed to care about those so they didn’t burn and all…he really didn’t need the house to smell of burnt cookies…for the eighth or ninth time this year.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The timer for the cookies had gone off during the middle of the movie and so Techno had quickly got up, making sure not to disturb his father who was snoozing away as he went to the kitchen Once he was there he got out some oven mitts and swiftly opened the oven, checking on them before removing them and placing them on a cooling rack. He grabbed two and set them on a plate before quickly whipping up some hot chocolate from the coffee machine. He set them out on a plate and left a mug he had given to his dad when he was like, eight, full of hot chocolate before sneaking back over to the living room. Now all he had to do was wait for his bait to work so he knew whether or not there were any tiny people living in his house.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

When the movie had finally come to a close he once more got up from the couch, this time, to check on the bait he had laid out for the possible tiny people…He really hoped they weren’t rats cause then Phil might scold him for feeding the rats and he did not want that.

When he entered the relatively messy kitchen.(They had decided clean up could wait till later.) He had kept his expectations pretty low. If you prepare for disappointment you could never be disappointed after all… Which is why he was a little more than shocked when he saw the two small people, sound asleep on the plate, some of the hot cocoa gone and all but crumbs left of the cookies. Techno couldn’t help but aw at the two small humanoid creatures snoring peacefully. He quietly and carefully approached, not wanting to wake them up out of fear they might run away and he’d never see a glimpse of them ever again. The pinkette watched as one of the two, the older looking one, sneezed quietly, sniffling and he quickly realized that they must be sick. Once he was close enough he cupped his hands around the two and scooped them up into his hands, bringing them up to his chest as he went back towards the living room to get the small people all cozy and warm.

He felt the two seemingly snuggle into his hands, the small blond one appearing to hug at his fingers and if Techno wasn’t trying to avoid waking them or his father he would be awing so hard at the two adorable little people he held in his hands.

Once he reached the living room he went over to the couch and grabbed the fluffiest blanket possible before wrapping himself and the two small people in it before starting to doze off…

He was awoken by some giggles and some shushing noises. Tommy giggle his devious little giggle as he poked the blanket covered chest of the human who they were currently snuggled against, a goofy grin on his face. “Tommy y-sneeze-ou should stop. You’ll wake him up and that’d be a bit mean-” Wilbur tried to convince the younger but of course there was no convincing the gremlin. He continued to try and shush his brother before feeling like something was wrong and he looked at the humans face to see them staring right at them and he gasped. “Tommy you woke him up! That’s not nice!” The blonds head immediately snapped to Techno and he looked at him apologetically. “I’m sorry I woke you up! I didn’t mean to…” The boy mumbled, eyes averting downward. “Oh hey it’s ok… I wasn’t really all too asleep anyway…” Techno moved a hand and pet at the tiny blonde’s back. “Hey uh, do you two have names? And are you living in my house?” The brunet gave a small nod and pointed at Tommy. “That’s Tommy, and I’m Wilbur.” Wilbur motioned to himself. “And we do live here…if it’s a problem we could always move…” Techno shook his head. “No no you don’t have to move I just wanted to know so I could start making more food at dinnertime and stuff…Oh and uh, I’m Techno by the way. Nice to meet you both.” Tommy looked back up at them, any sadness gone and replaced by a bright, beaming smile. “Nice to meet you too bigman!”

Wilbur chuckled a little as Tommy used his usual nickname before he gave Techno an odd, perplexed look. “Wait-you wanna make more food…specially for us?” He asked, rubbing at his running nose with his sleeve. “Well yeah…If you live here I need to make sure you don’t go hungry.” He chuckled slightly. “Oh and on the topic of living, where do you guys sleep and stuff?” Wilbur opened his mouth to give a response before Tommy cut him off. “In the walls…though I wanna live somewhere warmer and cozier…Wilby does too but he just wants to keep to tradi…tradit…taditin!” Another chuckled escaped Techno before he smiled at the two softly. “Well hows about this-you can stay out here for a little while and sleep in my room and if you don’t like it you can go into the walls again.” “...I like how that sounds actually…” Wilbur mumbled a little before yawning with a cough to follow up. “But for now, how about we just get some more rest.” Techno suggested, cupping Tommy and Wilbur close to his chest again as he let out his own yawn and Tommy followed shortly thereafter. It wasn’t very long before they all fell asleep, snoring. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

When Phil woke up he was surprised to see Techno curled up on the couch, shrouded by blankets with two small children in his hands, all three appearing to be fast asleep. He got up and grabbed another blanket, draping it around his son before going into the kitchen to quietly clean up the mess left in the kitchen. It appeared Techno had some new friends…dare he say new family members. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Oh!! And I did some drawing for it as well!!

Da litol bois :D (I evaded doing hands lol)

#Smog Arts #mcyt g/t secret santa 2021 #mcyt g/t #found family #tiny!wilbur #tiny!tommy #giant!philza #giant!techno #fluffiest stuff i've made #smog writes

[secretstanner]

hold me in your arms, take the pain away

Chapter one Pairing: Dan Howell/ Phil Lester

Rating: Not yet rated

Tags: AU Circus, Strangers to Lovers, Impiled Character Death, Angst With Happy Ending, Slow Burn. Character death is NOT main character. Summary: Phil Lester is stuck working for his father’s newspaper, when given an assignment; He must write an article about the first circus to return to Manchester in over 10 years.

He arrives at the circus expecting to be reminded of childhood memories. It turns out to be so much more than that when he meets Dan Howell.

I posted the first and only chapter to this back in late 2018 but my mental health stopped me from posting. I really think this can be better than the idea I had over a year ago. Chapter two will be posted next week

Word count: 3k

AO3

He was sat at his typewriter, staring blankly at the keys beneath his fingertips. What was he writing about again? He couldn't remember, and he certainly did not care. His foot tapped impatiently as he thought about how he came to be stuck in this unwanted job. It was all because of one person. His father.

Phil was shaken out of his thoughts when a pair of legs appeared, standing in front of his desk. They belonged to his boss, Mr Johnson. He was a short, fat man, balding with prominent wrinkles adorning his face, caused by stress at the age of fifty-three. The buttons of his crinkled white shirt strained against the incredible amounts of fat around his once slim belly.

Phil didn’t even have time to greet him before a hand came slamming down on top of his hardwood desk. There, in his cigarette stained fingers, was a large poster screwed up in a tight fist, digits curled around the paper with such a forceful grip that made it look like the paper would tear at any moment. It was way too damaged to go back to its original form, as the sheet was ruined and almost void of any colour it once had. It was now ripped and curled in on itself because of rain and intense sunlight.

He strained his eyes harshly to properly read what the poster once said. The Wonder Requiem Cirque. A circus? Why was Mr Johnson bringing him this poster?

He still remembered the first time he stepped foot in a circus. It was better than his imagination could have ever led him to believe. An enormous red and gold striped tent fixed to the once muddy field, now brought to life with twinkling light and unique performers, greeting young children as they ran inside.

That was the first and last time he had ever been to one. He couldn’t remember much of that afternoon, but he held on to any broken memories that he had yet to fully piece together. It was one of the best days of his young life. He never did much other than attend school and his father's workplace, so something as magical as a circus coming to the city was more than his young brain could fathom.

Circus performers were given a bad reputation after the incident that happened 12 years ago. It shocked most of the city and left the performers cast away; some even branded them as freaks. Whispers were heard every now and again of them being in nearby towns but none had dared to come back to Manchester.

Even with that being over 10 years ago, he couldn’t help but still feel like that same little boy who once thought how incredible it would be to travel all round the world in a circus. Not that he had talent good enough that people would pay to see him. No, he was way too clumsy for anything that would need to gain attraction.

No matter how old he grew, it would always be a distant dream that stayed in the back of his mind. He often wrote fiction about traveling to places like The United States. But that was only fiction, never to become a reality.

Realising he hadn’t spoken yet, he cleared his throat and said, “A circus, sir?”

With his heart beating at a fast pace, he tried to hide his excitement. Mr Johnson moved his face, so it was merely inches away from Phil’s until he was leaning

across the desk. His heavy stature caused the table to creak when he placed both of his hands on the hardwood, as it struggled to hold his weight.

“Yes, Philip, the circus freaks are back!”

‘Freaks’? Why did that word sting like someone took a lit cigarette and pressed it to his bare flesh? Was it because he felt that word applied to him?

As a child, he would write stories about running away to the circus and almost did at one point in his life. He didn’t want what his father planned for him; to get a job at his father’s newspaper company, marry a beautiful young woman, and start a family. Even at 9 years old, Phil knew he couldn’t let that happen, well, not yet at least. He wanted to explore and as a boy, running away was the only solution his mind could conjure. Now at the age 24, he knew the best he could do was put off marrying as long as possible and if that meant doing what he was told, Phil would do it.

How could Phil respond to Mr Johnson’s words? What did he need from him? Phil just stared at him, trying to not indicate that those words affected him.

Mr Johnson finally spoke once again. “Do you know how much attention this will bring to the city, Philip? It’s been years, and we are the first to know about this. I looked all around town and didn’t find a single flier. We need to contact them before any of the other local news outlets get a hold of this.”

All Mr Johnson cared about was money and being the first to write an article about this would be the talk of Manchester.

He knew he had to ask. “What exactly do you want to contact them about? To give an interview?” Mr Johnson shrugged. Phil let out a small sigh “Who are you going to get to write about it, sir?”

Phil didn’t think for a second that he would be given this assignment. He was never the one given the interesting topics; he would always be given the pages towards the back of the newspaper, only ever given mundane activities to write about. Phil was sure no one cared to ever read it - except for his mother, of course.

“You will. Roger doesn’t have the—the same way with people like you do. You could get as much behind-the-scenes information as possible. People trust you, Philip. You’re odd, people take trust in that. They won’t be worried about what they tell you.”

He was right. Phil was so odd that no one would have ever seen Phil as a threat. He was tall and slim, with shaggy black hair he slicked back with gel and small round frames that sat at the bridge of his slightly beaked nose. No one would ever find him intimidating. He was good with people and very well liked at university. He knew people found him credible.

“What is it that you need me to report on?”

Mr Johnson smiled, yellow stained teeth showing as he spoke, “I want you to find out about the death of the performer. See if they knew anything about the circus it happened in, where are the people who worked there? I’m sure they heard about it, their kind must have been aware for none to have come here, until now that is.”

“What makes you think they would even tell us any information? They won’t agree to talking to a newspaper.”

“Like I said Philip, they trust you. Make friends with the carnies if you have to. We’ll make them an offer they can’t refuse. No one says no to free publicity.”

Phil really didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to trick these performers into giving information and then have to write about It. He knew he had to do this. If Mr Johnson spoke to his father, Phil knew that it would only cause trouble. Phil really did the bare minimum, only being employed because his father had a say in him being there. He didn’t want to cause his father any trouble.

Phil straightened up directing his body to face Mr Johnson. He had to pretend he wanted to write this article. Phil let out an unsure breath and said, “When do I start?”

————————————————————————

Dan felt a warm breeze caressing his bare arms. As he made his way outside, he noticed a torn envelope by the trailer door that hovered over the freshly cut lawn.

“What you got there, Dan?” He looked up to see the petite figure of a young female standing a foot away. He held up his hand trying to block out the sunlight beams that blocked his vision.

The girl was beautiful; she possessed intense coffee coloured eyes, heart-shaped lips and thick waves of chocolate hair. It was Hazel, his best friend he’d known since he was barely 5 years old. Her hair was pulled into a neat ponytail tied with a light red ribbon, matching the rouge on her cheeks. However, a few of her locks escaped their confinements and lay sprawled across her forehead. She looked just like Dan, people would often mistake them for twins when they were younger and at the time, they played up to the deceiving act.

“Hey, Hazy. I don’t know, I found it just outside my door. Vincent must have left it there. It was opened when I found it.”

Hazel moved closer to Dan and sat next to him, blocking the entrance to his trailer. “Why don’t you read it?” She questioned, her eyes flicking from Dan to the ripped envelope.

Dan quickly bumped shoulders with her. “I was just about to, you know, right before you came and distracted me.” He said with a playful grin.

Hazel swatted Dan’s arm. “Just open it, Stupid bugger!”

Dan let out a howl of laughter. “Oh, is there really any need for name-calling?” Hazel just gave him an unimpressed look. “Fine, fine, I’m opening it now.”

_

100 York road,

Manchester,

MA1 4HH

Vincent. P. James, The Wonder Requiem Cirque

I’m writing from Manchester’s local newspaper, The Lester Standard. We heard news of your arrival to Manchester and thought it would be interesting to interview some of your circus folk for an article. As you are probably aware, there has not been such an attraction in the city for many years. Our establishment could gain you a lot of publicity, that is, if you allowed it, as we are one of the top news outlets.

I will send Mr. Lester, son of the founder of The Lester Standard and our best writer. We can assure you that this young man will be nothing but well-behaved. I would have him shadow and interview your performers to get a behind the scenes look at how carnie folk live. I have left the address for The Lester Standard if you wish to reply.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Mr Johnson

_

Hazel turned to meet Dan’s eyes. “What do you think?”

Dan didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t want someone to demand questions about their way of life.

“I--I think if this is what Vincent wants, then we should do as he pleases. I’m sure he is aware of all the things that may go wrong. But this Mr Johnson from the letter is right. Publicity, free publicity is what we need now more than before. We have barely gotten by for the past few years, we need this.”

Hazel shot him a sympathetic smile. “Are you going to go find him?”

Dan placed the sheet of paper back in the envelope. “Yes, I need to know what he needs from me. There must be something if he left this at my door.”

She stood to move away, but not before turning back to Dan. “Come find me later?”

He gave her a reassuring nod and Hazel bashfully placed her petite hand on Dan’s cheek, giving a quick peck to his lips before she hurried away.

Dan set out on finding Vincent, who had known him since the day he was born. Vincent was younger then, his head full of tawny locks was now left with sparse silver specks that no longer covered his scalp. The once gorgeous showman was now replaced with the 60-year-old man old enough to be a grandfather. He was exactly that for many runaways he housed over the years, asking for nothing, not even a penny and giving everything he could. Maybe that’s why everything they had was falling apart. It was the reason they had ended up in Manchester.

Dan soon stood in the small dining tent. It was close to noon, maybe he would have luck finding him. As he was searching, he spotted Dorothy. She looked a lot like Hazel, being her mother and all, but she didn’t hold the same youthful appearance as her daughter did. He spoke as he made his way over to her. “Dee! Have you seen Vincent?”

“Sweetie,” She took Dan’s face in her hands, small fingers running across his stained pink cheeks. She kissed his forehead gently and answered his question when she saw the impatient look on his face. “Yes, not so long ago I saw him next to his trailer. Is there something you need, Mon Cher?”

“I found a letter he left me this morning, I just wanted to ask him about it.”

“Ah well you better find him, he said he was heading into town, so go quick before he’s gone.”

Dan thanked her by kissing her hand and ran towards Vincent’s trailer.

In the distance he saw Vincent, dressed in his best day clothes–definitely not something he’d wear everyday working around the tents. They didn’t dress up unless they had a show. His blazer and trousers made from dark brown wool that looked like it would scratch the naked skin underneath, causing minor grazes. The clothes were a little outdated - they looked as if they were about to burst trying to stretch across his oversized frame.

“Vincent,” Dan yelled, hoping that he was heard from across the field. He was in luck when he saw him turn to see Dan running towards him. Dan gasped from running at such a rapid speed. Once he was a few feet away from Vincent, he huffed a laugh while bending over to catch himself from collapsing.

Vincent chuckled, eyes forming deep creases above his cheeks. “Don’t go killing yourself, Dan.”

Dan stood up straight once he was sure he would not faint. “Are you heading out?” He remembered Dorothy said he was going into town, he assumed it was to give Mr Johnson an answer.

“I was, did you by any chance read the letter I left for you?”

“I did. Why did you need me to read it?” He assumed it was because he needed to be interviewed. Dan wasn’t a performer anymore, but he knew a lot about how everything worked around here; he had a lot of information that Mr Lester would need.

“Well, they’re sending Mr Lester over to write a report and I need someone to help him. As you know, once everyone finds out about him being here to write for a newspaper, they won’t be very forthcoming with him.” He paused to clear his throat. Dan could see the stress taking over his body: it aged him prematurely. “We need this, Dan. I don’t know how much longer we can last; this article can bring in crowds of unimaginable amounts of people. Ones we haven’t ever had or at least since before…”

Dan remembered they once had the most popular circus that was known by all towns and cities around. People would flock for miles just to see one performer in particular. They needed something to help them before it was too late.

“I’ll do it for you—I’ll do it for us.”

Vincent’s shoulders dropped dramatically like every ounce of stress had flowed from his body out into the hot air. “Thank you, Dan. Your parents would be so proud of you, you know that, don’t you?”

Dan knew that, and it was the only thing that kept him going, kept him here with this makeshift family they all created together. He couldn’t help but smile, no matter what had happened in his past. At 19 years of age his life was only just beginning.

“Yeah, I know, how could they not be? I mean, look at me.” He gestured to himself, stood wearing the darkest pair of slacks he could find, brown coloured braces and a white tee.

“I’m the gorgeous piece of arse that brings the crowds flocking in.” Dan couldn’t help a smirk at the sarcasm that dripped from his tongue. He was rarely seen by any of the audience. He preferred to stay in the background these days, helping the acts get ready for the show and bringing them water once they finished performing.

Vincent’s face had turned red from holding his breath. He finally released a snort of laughter that he was holding in. “Yes, Dan, what would any of us do without—your arse? And really, it seems like Hazel is the only person you can get to flock to you.”

Dan let out a nervous laugh before sighing. He reached up to smooth the back of his neck. “Ha, yes, you aren't wrong there.”

Vincent rolled his eyes at Dan’s uneasiness. “Oh now, a beautiful girl that’s been falling for you since you weren’t even teens, sounds just the worst there, Dan.”

“Sorry, I’m just having an off day, think the sun’s getting to me.”

Dan looked up to see Vincent’s grin, giving him a knowing look. He was a kind and gentle person, Dan knew he meant nothing by it. “Yes, I know. I will actually head off now. I want to get there and back before dark. Do you think you could tell some of them? I don’t want to leave it too long before Mr Writer Man is here.” He said as he puffed out his chest to imitate what this reporter might be like.

“I’ll go find Hazel, I promised I’d meet her as soon as I finished talking to you.”

Vincent took Dan in a warm embrace before turning away and opened his car door. It was about an hour drive to the city, so he needed to leave now.

#phanfic #phanfiction #hold me in your arms #my fic

[kaz-2y5-images]

One Drunk Night (Turns Into Paradise)||Jenneel x Reader PolyVerse Part Two

Summery: The aftermath of your night of passion with the Ackles.

Characters: Y/N L/N, Jensen Ackles, Danneel Ackles, Jared Padalecki, JJ Ackles (brief), Arrow Ackles (brief), Zeppelin Ackles (brief).

Mentioned Characters: Genevieve Padalecki.

Paring: Jenneel x Reader

Warnings: Fluff with a little bit of angst, suggestive shower scene, mistaken for cheating, mentions of smut, impiled smut, Ackles Family cuteness.

Notes: I can’t believe this took so long sorry. I’m tagging @trashforwinchesters because their reaction gave me life and it’s wonderful and it killed me. Feedback is loved and appreciated.

Word Count: 1414

Tumblr has killed links so search IcyMasterlist on my blog, or if you want the series masterlist search JPSeriesMasterlist

You woke up with against Jensen's chest with his arm draped across your hip, you head tucked comfortably in Danneel's neck, your arms wrapped around her waist, and Danneel was running her fingers through your hair.

"Good morning, darling." She said kissing your temple. "Did you sleep well?"

"Until you woke me." You nuzzled into her neck when she kissed you again, moving practically on top of you, waking Jensen in the process. "'M tired."

"Mm, so am I." Jensen said as he kissed the back of your neck, before pressing a kiss to his wife's lips. "Mornin' beautiful girls." You watched as they kissed and were amazed at how much love they could put into one.

"Why did I ever let you guys go?"

"I have no idea." Danneel said with a smile and kissed your lips. "But I'm glad you're back."

"Even if it did take dating those jerks for over a year." Jensen said.

——————————————————————————————————————————

You decided to bring Jensen and Danneel back to your apartment and talk about what that night actually meant. Instead you talked and laughed and made beautiful love... and avoided the conversation of what you were every time they brought it up for three days until they made you talk. You handed them each a coffee and sat down in front of them, nervously picking at your coffee mug instead of actually drinking out of it.

"So..."

"Y/N." Danneel said sternly.

"Yes?"

"Don't cut us out again."

"I'm not."

"Yes, sweetheart, you are." Jensen said and took your hand. "This is what you did the first time. You were afraid of something and then you avoid everything when we tried to talk seriously."

"That's not what I'm doing now. I just... I feel like I'm coming into something that I shouldn't. I want to be with you I really do, but I'm scared that..." You trailed off and took a sip of your coffee.

"We wanted you then why wouldn't we want you now?"

"Because I freaked out and left both of you."

"You were nineteen. If that mattered to us do you think we would have been staying here with you?" Danneel asked and took a sip from her coffee.

"No."

"We want to be with you, long term this time, if that's what you want. But you have to tell us that it's what you want, if you don't tell us and we'll leave." Jensen said.

"I want it." You said and took one of their hands each. "I want both of you."

"Good." Danneel said kissed you gently.

——————————————————————————————————————————

The next day as you three got out of the shower and dressed, Dee called their nanny to see how JJ and the twins were doing. You wrapped your arms around Jensen's shoulders as he sat in a chair, so utterly entranced by his wife as she laughed with their kids.

"I don't know who I envy more," You said rested your head on top of his. "You because you have such a sweet and beautiful wife, or Dani for having someone so completely in love with and awestruck by her."

"I'd say you. Because you have a sweet and beautiful girlfriend and a boyfriend so completely in love with and awestruck by you."

"You love me?"

"Of course I do, so does Dee. We always have. That's why we gave you a second chance?"

"I've always loved you too. And Dee."

——————————————————————————————————————————

Jensen and Danneel headed off back home to Austin and asked you if you wanted to come with, and of course you said. Arrow, Zeppelin and JJ were such sweet kids and they loved their Auntie Y/N so it would be no problem. When you got there, JJ and the twins hugged their parents instantly. JJ looked up at you and hugged your legs after she let go of her parents.

"Auntie Y/N!"

You smiled and lifted her up and tickled her tummy. "Hi, JJ."

"Momma, why's Aunt Y/N here?" JJ asked as you put her down and walked inside.

"Y/N is gonna stay with us until her and Daddy go back to work."

——————————————————————————————————————————

The time you spent with them and the kids was great. You spent time with your lovers and their kids. You helped them with everything they normally did, you went to the brewery because you've never been, one day you and Dee worked out with Genevieve which you thought was a lot of fun. But you slept in (and together) your own room just in case JJ came to Jensen and Danneel in middle of the night.

You enjoyed spending time with JJ and the twins, they were very good kids and they're absolutely adorable. You also thought it was really cute that Arrow knew some Spanish because of their nanny.

It was little things that made you so happy but also made you regret not staying with them in the first place. Little things that make you wish you did and make you hope that you never let this go. You would never let this go.

——————————————————————————————————————————

You were taking a shower and you heard the bathroom door open. It could really only be one of two people but it made you tense nonetheless until you heard Danneel's feminine laugh.

"Sorry, honey, didn't mean to scare you." She said, eyeing you up and down through the glass shower door. "Room for one more?"

"There's room for two more." She giggled and undressed, stepping in the shower behind you and putting her hands on your waist. "Hi." You said as you turned to face her.

"Hi." Danneel said and brushed her nose against yours. "We don't have too long to be in here, Jensen's making dinner."

"But I had plans on eating you."

"Oh, really?" She asked as she wrapped her arms around your neck.

"Really." You said and kissed her passionately.

——————————————————————————————————————————

After dinner, you helped Danneel with the dishes and watched as Jensen played with the twins.

"I wish I was with you guys from the beginning. I wish I never left.”

“So do I, but you’re here now. And you get to spend all the time in world here.”

“Until Jay and I go back to set.”

“That’s a week away.”

“Seven days goes by fast.”

——————————————————————————————————————————

And it did, really fast. And in seven days, you became more and more apart of their family, making dinner with them, taking JJ to school with Dee. You became family, even more than what you were before. And then you had to head back to Vancouver.

You, Danneel and Jensen agreed to not open up to public about your relationship, at least until people stopped asking you about your exes. But it was your choice to not tell your friends about it, you didn’t know if you were ready, the only people that knew you were in a polyamorous relationship was Jensen, Danneel and your family, until Lili and James broke up with you, and then told the tabloids that they broke up with you. Of course, you’re we’re supportive and said they were sorry that they broke up with you, but you were nervous about what they would say if they found out that you were already in another relationship. Even if you knew the fears were unwarranted.

When Jensen and you got off the plane, he looked around, wrapped his arm around your waist and kissed your cheek. You giggled and turned to look at your lover.

"Jay, honey, someone could see us." You said and put your hands on his shoulders. "We have to keep this private, love." You took a look around as well and deemed it safe, so you leaned up and kissed him gently. You pulled apart and giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck and he put both his hands on your waist and kissed you again.

Your heart fell into your stomach when you heard someone clear their throat.

"Have to say," Jared said as you pulled away from each other "I really didn't think this be something that you would do to Danneel."

"Jared, we're-we're not-" You tried to explain Oh, god why didn’t I just tell them!?

"So you two are just platonically making out in the airport? Jensen," He said, the look of disappointment that he gave Jensen burned your soul even though you know you two didn't do anything wrong. "Dude, you're married. You know Danneel would never do anything like this to you."

#kaz-2y5-images #jenneel polyverse #jenneel #jenneel x reader #jensen ackles x reader #One Drunk Night Series #jensen ackles x reader x danneel ackles #danneel ackles x reader #supernatural #supernatural rpf #jensen and danneel #jensen ackles #danneel ackles #danneel harris #danneel harris ackles #ansgt #reader insert #spn #supernatural actress!reader #actress!reader #pansexual reader #jensen x reader x danneel #spn x reader #more spn tags #this took way too long #this sucked ass but it made me happy #how we gonna queue this #angst ending

[takobaki]

Snowy innocence // PT 2

A bite of care

Octavinelle Dorm

A/N: NEW SECRET CHARACTER THAT WILL BE MENTIONED MORE, AND SOME MIGHT BE CRINGY/EMBARSSING SO SORRY IF IT IS

Word count: 1,001

Warnings: BAD WRITING, SLIGHTLY IMPILED NEGLECT AND ABANDONMENT, AND CHARACTERS MAY BE OOC, NOT PROOF READ, SHORT

Other parts here

"Huh?" Alkni let out quietly as she turned to him, her eyes wide in shock.

'S...so so...hungry' The girl thought to herself as she walked by a bakery, causing her stomach to rumble. She rarely was feed by her parents as most of the time they barely had enough money to feed themselves, much less a barely growing child. 'Maybe this time I'll be able to get some food' Yet it was all wishful thinking as before she could barely step foot in the bakery, she was abruptly dragged out as the person dragging her out, cursed her out Again

Alkni quickly shook her head up and down as she looked at him with doey eyes, making Jade chuckle. "Well, lets go see what we have" Azul said as he picked her up from Jade's arms.

When Azul first picked Alkni up, he couldn't help but notice how light she was. Albeit most kids her age weren't the heaviest, she seemed lighter then she should be. Usually Azul wouldn't do this for free, yet Alkni was a young child, and seemed to be in need of help. He could always have her pay him back for his help in the future anyways.

The dusty black haired girl sat outside the kitchen, waiting patiently for Azul to finish making her something to eat. She was far to afraid to be close to Azul, thinking that if she annoyed him in the slightest, she would have her opportunity to have food ripped away from her. Azul walked over to her, holding a plate of food in his hands as he squatted down to Alkni's height "Before I give this to you, I need you to answer one question for me" Azul told her as he gave her a warm smile, trying to be as comforting as possible to try and get her to answer his questions

"What is your name?" Azul asked as he tilted his head to the side slightly. He knew that the more information he could get on her, the more he could do to find out where she came from. Alkni paused as she tried to remember what a name was

"Come on Alkni!" ████ said as they gently picked up the 3 year old girl, lifting her up and swinging her around in the air. "I promise you, I'll do whatever it takes to protect you... I will stop anyone from trying to harm you, I promise" Holding the three year old girl close to her, the tall woman rocked her as she hummed a happy tune, which ████ had always called 'Alknis lullaby'

''A...ah... Alk...ni?"

She said as she looked up at Azul, her words coming out as more of a question rather then her own name. "Alkni, huh?" The light gray haired man hummed quietly to himself as he handed her the food as promised

Alknis eyes light up as she quickly grabbed the piece of food, quickly taking small bites out of the food. After spending long periods of time by herself on the streets, Alkni had grown used to eating food very slowly in a attempt to keep food for as long as possible

Azul let out a amused chuckle as he watched the girl whom he know knew as 'Alkni' eat the basic food he made. Truth be told, he had never seen anyone so excited over such a simple food, and yet it filled him with a sense of warmth

Almost as if he had been put under a spell

03/19/████

Dear diary

"If you want something, then you must always do it yourself"

Thats what I've always been told.

Of course they never meant it in a encouraging way, rather a 'Shut up and leave me alone' way

We are barely scraping by from the money that our family is giving us, and yet, they deicide to bring another poor poor unfortunate soul here.

I would assume its for extra money and sympathy- knowing them it almost 100% is

So are they finally taking their own words to heart...?

Because if so, this isnt how you do it.

-██████████████

Alkni sat at one of the tables in Mostro Lounge, swinging her small legs back and forth as she listened to the three Octavinelle students talk "Lets bring her to Sam, he might be able to do something about her" Jade said in a whisper, making the little girl freeze in her seat, her red emotionless like eyes widening in fear. Usually whenever they would say that, it would only mean the worst would happen

"Okay, and he might be able to find something useful out about her" Azul said as the three students walked out of the VIP room they were discussing in, which Alkni shouldn't have been able to hear them in. "Hey Ricefish! You wanna go somewhere fun!" Floyd said, flashing her a toothy grin, showing off his sharp teeth.

The red eyed girl quickly shook her head no, as she curled into herself, trying to make herself harder to carry if they where to try a grab her, fearing whoever this 'Sam' guy was would hurt her. "Whats wrong little rice fish?" Floyd asked as he walked over to the table she was sitting at, squatting down to meet her eye to eye.

Floyd did want to do what he always did whenever someone didn't comply, usually for contracts, yet something was stopping him from doing it, making him let out a sigh.

"How about if you go with us, I'll get you some extra tasty food" The octo-person said from behind Floyd, his arms crossed behind his back, while flashing her a warm smile. Alkni perked up upon hearing the word food, as she looked up towards him wearily

She slowly nodded as Floyd picked her up, grinning as he threw her over his shoulder "Now Floyd, thats not how your supposed to carry a child" Jade chirped, making Floyd shift her into a more comfortable position

#twisted wonderland #twistedwonderland #twst #azul ashengrotto #twst azul #azul twst #azul twisted wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #jade leech #floyd leech #twst jade #twst floyd #floyd twst #floyd twisted wonderland #jade leech twst #octavinelle #twst oc #twst x reader #twst x child reader #child reader

[takobaki]

Snowy innocence // Prologue // TWST OC

A/N: This is a oc story so if you dont like those kinda stories then you can just ignore this but I can also do a non oc one if yall want!

Word count: 467

WARNINGS: BAD WRITING, SLIGHTLY IMPILED NEGLECT AND ABANDONMENT, AND CHARACTERS MAY BE OOC, NOT PROOF READ

Other parts here

The sound of crickets filled Night Raven Collage as everyone slept peacefully, while most of the students were gone as it was the beginning of winter break

All was quiet except for the small child who laid on the floor, staring at the mirror that had accidently brought her there

Slowly pushing herself up, the very small 5 year old girl tiredly rubbed her eyes as she stared at the mirror, her head tilting slightly

"C...cold... so cold"

She mumbled to herself as she looked around, wondering just where she was and how she got there

Alkni sat on the hard concert, watching as the people walked by her, ignoring the small child who only had a sleeveless nightgown, doing nothing to protect her the harsh winter cold. Alkni looked down at the snow that she had been nestled in, the sheer coldness from said snow making her body numb from her sitting in it for so long, yet she still sat there, waiting for them to come as they said they would They wouldn't lie... right....

The very pale 5 year old stood on the tips of her toes as she gently grabbed the doorknob of the room she had randomly appeared in, the large door creaking as the small light coming from the room she was in, lighting up the hallway.

Trembling from the cold of the building, Alkni walked through the empty halls of the collage, until she came up to a room with 7 mirrors surrounding her, making her tilt her head as she walked towards one that reminded her of sea shell, something she had only ever seen in the window of shops

Taking a step away from the mirror, she turned around getting ready to go back to see if she could find anyone who could explain to her where she was and how to find her mommy and daddy, yet as she wasn't the best at walking yet despite her 5 years of age, she tripped on her feet, causing her to fall back into the mirror with a yelp

She excepted to feel the feeling of something hitting the back of her head, yet when she didn't it caused her to panic more and before she knew it, her world turned black

Azul sighed as he tapped his pen against his desk, looking at the walls of his VIP lounge, feeling bored out of his mind as business had been slow recently since most people were home for the break

Suddenly the sound of a loud thud interrupted his thoughts causing him to shoot upwards, looking around in confusion as to what the cause of the sound was.

As the mer-person walked outside the Mostro Lounge to see what the possible sound was, his foot bumped into someone something

A/N: SORRY THAT THIS SUCKS BUT I PROMISE THIS WILL GET BETTER AND I NEED TO PRACTICE MY WRITING FOR THE FUTURE SO IT'LL BET BETTER I SWEAR

#twisted wonderland #twistedwonderland #twst #twst oc #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #azul ashengrotto #twst azul #octavinelle #child reader

[secretstanner]

hold me in your arms, take the pain away

Chapter three

Pairing: Dan Howell/ Phil Lester

Rating: Not yet rated

Tags: AU Circus, Strangers to Lovers, Impiled Character Death, Angst With Happy Ending, Slow Burn. Character death is NOT main character. Summary: Phil Lester is stuck working for his father’s newspaper, when given an assignment. He must write an article about the first circus to return to Manchester in over 10 years.

He arrives at the circus expecting to be reminded of childhood memories. It turns out to be so much more than that when he meets Dan Howell. Word count: 2.5k

Ao3

He stopped himself a few feet behind Phil, watching as he turned to follow Dan's sudden departure. He saw Phil’s eyes protrude from their sockets as he now realised the person he was there to meet, was talking to him the whole time, standing right in front of him.

“You’re Daniel?” Phil questioned once he was facing Dan. The way he said it was like he was unsure to believe the words that had left Dan’s lips.

Dan gave a nod and placed his hands on his hips, awkwardly standing like that before he brought his arms up and crossed them over his chest, hoping Phil wouldn’t have noticed his insecure movements.

Dan decided to hold his hand out for Phil to take this time, remembering it was rude not shaking his before. Phil glanced down at the outstretched palm before him, rushing to swap a worn leather notebook into his right hand, realising that Dan was offering a welcoming gesture for Phil to take.

He had to stop the urge from rubbing his thumb back and forth across Phil's knuckles, in awe of how soft Phil’s hand felt. Immediately, Dan snapped his jaw tight before his thought came spilling out.

“And you’re Mr Lester.” Dan said. Phil nodded before finally letting go of Dan’s hand and placing his book back into the opposite palm.

He missed the feeling of Phil's hand inside of his own, and Dan could feel his cheeks growing warm just from a simple handshake.

Phil let out a small laugh before replying once again, “and you’re Daniel.”

Dan smiled brightly at him. “No,” He said and watched the grin fall from Phil’s face, dipping into a confused stare. He shook his head before continuing, “It's Dan. No one calls me Daniel. Well, not since I was a boy.”

Phil nodded agreement. “My apologies, it’s good to finally meet you, Dan.”

He didn’t realise he was staring until Phil coughed politely. “Oh yes, nice to meet you as well. Um… what was it that you wanted to talk about today?” He questioned and shook his head, trying to let go of intrusive thoughts.

“You read the letter, correct? I was wondering if it would be okay to have a quick walk around and meet some of the entertainers before talking to anyone for the article. If that’s alright with you?”

Just before Dan had time to reply, Phil let out an excited shout. “We haven’t had an attraction like this in many years.” He saw him suddenly look away, probably realising how loud he spoke.

Dan shifted his body weight and cleared his throat to speak clearer. “Yes, I remember from the letter.” He lifted his hand to brush away the waves that had fallen into his eyes, wrapping the ringlet around his finger and pulling it down, feeling as it bounced back into place. This was something he did when he was nervous.

“That’s perfectly fine, I think that’s probably for the best, anyway. Do you know how long you will be here for?”

“I want to stay as long as possible.” Shaking his head, Phil tried to fix what he said.“What I meant to say was that if it’s possible to stay to get as much information and knowledge about how this place runs, then I will gladly do so. I thought getting to know you all and watching you perform could be the best way to get said information.”

Dan was trying his best not to show any signs of hearing that Phil might be here for a while made him feel something deep in the bottom of his stomach, even if the fear was still there. “Well we will be here throughout spring preparing for the summer opening. I’m sure you will acquire enough information to get your article done in that time frame.” At this, he saw excitement in the form of a toothy grin.

God, Phil looked cute with his tongue trapped between his teeth, Dan thought. He was almost scared the raven haired man would bite it off.

“Dan that would be just perfect.”

Dan gave Phil a curt nod, quickly clapping his hands together which caused a loud noise to echo through the barren room.

“So Phil, where to first?”

“Well, I was wondering if it would be okay to have a tour around the grounds. I would love to do some interviews but I don’t want to rush everything today if we have all summer to do so.” Dan felt the bubbly feeling again when he heard Phil say that he’ll be around all summer. They often had people stay for short periods of time to help build the set, but then they would move on once they were at their desired destination.

Maybe they could even be friends? Dan, this man isn’t here to be your friend, he told himself. It would be easier that way. He knew in the past that getting too attached only hurt when it came time for them to leave.

“That’s fine.” Dan was ready to walk away when he realised that Phil was standing in the same spot. Turning to look at him, he signalled for the reporter to follow him. “Are you coming, Philip?”

Phil stumbled his way over to where Dan was standing.

“Sorry.”

“It’s no problem.” He waved him off. “So let’s start with where we are standing. This is the main tent as you might have guessed,” he said with a small laugh, “you probably won’t see it like this for much longer. Soon the equipment will be arriving here so we can start training and practicing.” Dan could see Phil looking around, inspecting everything in close detail. The tent was damaged, but they’d done so much patch work to cover up tears from over the years, he hoped that he wouldn’t be able to tell.

Dan saw his eyes light up. “It looks so different in the day, without lights and stage.” He stated, rushing out in one breath and turning to look Dan in the eyes. He was shocked to see how bright Phil’s eyes were.

Breathtaking was all he could think. He caught his own eyes flicking back and forth between the blue-green irises. Dan quickly looked away before he embarrassed himself, what would this man think of him.

Dan flicked his eyes rapidly around the tent. When did Phil get so close to him?

“How long does it take to set this tent up?” Hearing Phil’s question, he looked back at him.

“Is this part of the article? I’m just asking because if it is I’ll try to go into as much detail as possible. But if you-”

“No this isn’t part of the article, I have had a fascination with all of this since I was young. Most of these questions today are just for me. I hope that’s okay with you?” Dan watched Phil look away nervously.

Dan looked at Phil in wonder. He noted that Phil seemed like he was scared of Dan's judgement. “Phil,” Dan gave him a smile. “Whatever you want to know I don’t mind, I’ll give you all the behind-the-scenes details.” Phil’s mouth dropped open slightly, he was acting like a child and not like the grown man that first walked in here. It was refreshing.

Phil soon stood up straight and said, “That would be very nice of you.” Pushing his glasses once again up the bridge of his nose, trying to conceal the ever growing beam across his face.

“To put up the tent, it takes about a day with the people who work on building the sets. It’s a lot of heavy lifting and we try to take breaks while setting up. As for everything inside, that takes a little longer but this will be mostly clear for now. You said that you would want to be around to see us practicing?”

Phil rushed to say, “Oh yes, it’s more for me than for the newspaper if I’m being honest!” And looked down at his shoe, dragging the tip across the gravelled floor. Looking back up at Dan, he questioned. "What is your act?” Dan could see him not so discreetly looking at his body up and down, probably trying to guess.

Dan coughed. “Um...I don't have an act any—“ He stopped himself before continuing. “I just work here behind the scenes. I help around with bits here and there, mostly helping the performers on the nights we open. Getting people in costumes, things like that. If anyone has a problem, I make sure everyone can tell me. We’re a family here, so if there’s anything I can do, even if it’s helping a 76-year-old Margret put on her under garments-”

Phil stared back at Dan slightly shocked. Before whispering, “Really?”

Dan doubled over in a fit of giggles. “No, that was a joke.”

Phil let out a burst of laughter. “Oh, I knew that.”

“How many performers do you have working here?”

“We have 15 performers, some have multiple talents and perform in more than one act on any given night. That might not seem like a lot in the grand scheme of things, but I can assure you that they can entertain a whole crowd. No one will leave feeling disappointed!” Dan couldn’t help how fast the words came out.

“Oh, yes I’m sure they are very talented, I didn’t mean for that to sound like I was-“

“Phil that was my fault. We don’t have as many performers as we did, once upon a time, but we’re still here. We still love what we do when we are—they, sorry. They still love what they do when they’re in front of a crowd.” Dan's eyes were now bulging out. He really needed to shut his mouth. “I really am sorry, were under a lot of stress and I don’t want to say the wrong thing because if-“

“Dan,” Phil interrupted him, “This isn’t an interview, okay? I genuinely love the circus. You can’t believe how excited I am to be here, but right now there’s no pressure.”

Dan swallowed the lump in his throat. “Thank you. Are you ready to see more?” He was feeling overwhelmed and needed some fresh air. He didn’t listen to Phils reply before he turned walking away to leave the tent.

————————————————————————

Phil was watching where Daniel was going. He saw him walk past the pile of chairs that were still a misplaced mess on the floor.

Dan turned around.“Are you coming, Philip?” He asked.

He hurried to catch up with Dan. “Wait Daniel!” He called out, making Dan come to a stop. "What about the—“ Phil gestured to the mess on the floor. Dan just smirked and carried on walking, acting as if the pile of chairs weren’t there. Phil walked past them and ran so he was finally catching up with the boy.

“My name is Dan to tell you again, I don’t let people calling me Daniel.” Phil turned to look at Dan's face who was staring straight ahead. “Oh okay sorry, Dan. You can call me Phil too.”

Dan just turned and smirked at the reporter. "Okay, Phil two.”

Phil followed Dan as they walked from the slit in the side of the tent. “I should let you know beforehand that I don’t know how much information you will get from the people here.” He confessed with a sigh. “Who is it you will want to talk to?”

Phil understood why the people wouldn’t want to talk to him about their life, considering what Phil was here to do, really hear to do, even though they didn’t know his true intentions.

“I completely understand and I’ll try my best to make sure I won’t step over the line. If anyone has any boundaries then I would prefer to know beforehand to not cause any offence.” Phil said, even though he really meant it he knew part of what he was saying was a lie. He was here to get information, that’s if he could go through with it.

“And everyone if that’s possible. I want to know everything about this place, even from the people who don’t perform and just work behind the scenes. I do completely understand it can’t be easy, I’m a complete stranger after all. Hopefully once they get to know me from being around long enough, then they will find it easier to talk to me.”

Dan was staring back at him. Phil looked at Dan nervously, raising his hand to push down his perfectly slicked back hair. “What is it?” Dan looked away and laughed. “Nothing, you’re just not what I had expected, that’s all.”

Phil halted and looked down at the notebook in his hand. “Oh, sorry.” He looked up to see Dan walk back towards him, it seemed like he noticed Phil was no longer walking with him.

Dan was staring at him with a questioning look. “What did you say? Why are you apologising?” Phil bit his lip as he watched Dan stare back.

Phil had to say something. “I’m sorry I’m not what you thought that you were getting,” He looked down at himself. “I can assure you that I can write and I do have experience. Just give me a chance to prov—“

“Wait wait, I didn’t mean that as a bad thing, Phil. If anything, I meant it in the complete opposite way. You don’t look or act like any reporter I’ve ever come in contact with before, and that’s a good thing. Talking to you has given me reassurance that I can maybe trust you, no offence, of course I don’t know you very well. But you telling me that you respect our boundaries, well that’s more than I could hope for.” He watched as Dan moved his hands through his curls, his fingers trying to brush through the nots.

“I hope I didn’t offend you. I’m sorry if—“ Phil had to stop this. “Dan, I jumped the gun, I’m used to peo—“ He closed his eyes tight as he could, before he felt warm hands on his shoulders. He opened his eyes to see Dan staring intently in front of him.

“Are you okay?” He asked and Phil just nodded, letting out a breath before laughing.

He saw Dan turning his head to look around them. “I was going to take you to the dining tent, that’s where everyone hangs out for breakfast.” Dan removed his hands and let them fall back into place against his sides. “But if you’d prefer, would you like to come back to my trailer?”

Phil couldn’t contain his omediate thoughts as he watched Dan's eyebrows crease his forehead.

“For tea!” Dan shouted. “I meant for some tea, the tent can get quite busy and overwhelming. I was just trying to— never mind, it’s fine. Let’s just go.” He caught Dan's arm before he could walk away.

Dan looked back at Phil questioningly. “Dan, that would be a really big help if I’m being honest. I didn’t mean to freak out about what you said. I’m just tired, didn’t get much sleep you see, so some tea before we go meet everyone sounds like heaven.”

He watched as Dan's shoulders dropped in relief. “Oh thank god! Um, right so it’s this way.” Phil followed Dan through the grass. This was going to be a long day, but he really didn’t mind it so far.

#phanfic #phanfiction #hold me in your arms #my fic #C3

[secretstanner]

hold me in your arms, take the pain away

Chapter five

Pairing: Dan Howell/ Phil Lester

Rating: Not yet rated

Tags: AU Circus, Strangers to Lovers, Impiled Character Death, Angst With Happy Ending, Slow Burn. Character death is NOT main character.   Summary: Phil Lester is stuck working for his father’s newspaper, when given an assignment. He must write an article about the first circus to return to Manchester in over 10 years.

He arrives at the circus expecting to be reminded of childhood memories. It turns out to be so much more than that when he meets Dan Howell.

Word count: 3.1k

Ao3

Thankfully, Phil made it back to his house in time and was just about to open his front door when he felt something brush against his ankle. He looked down and saw it was the stray cat he would put out food for.

He bent down and looked inside the shopping bag he had in his arms. “Hi Mister Paws, I got you some salmon today. Does that sound nice?” He got a reply in the form of a long and loud meow. “Okay, okay wait a minute, it’s all the way at the bottom. Ah found it!” Phil pulled it out, placing the small tin on the concrete floor.

“Okay Mister Paws, wait a minute and I’ll open it.” He lent his bag against the door and opened the tin for the cat.

The cat meowed again and Phil smoothed down his back while he ate the fish. He was all grubby and didn’t feel nice to touch, but Phil didn’t care. He loved the cat, even if he was allergic and couldn’t bring him inside for very long. Paws didn’t seem to mind. From what he saw the cat enjoyed living outside, he would come to Phil house for a cuddle and food on most days. When it was sunny, Phil would catch him sunbathing on his outside trellis.

He would be running late if he spent any longer petting the feline. He spoke to the cat again. “Okay now Mister Paws I have to go and I won’t be back for a few more hours. I’ve left the kitchen window open if you need any water.” Why was he talking to the cat like he understood?

Maybe because Phil was lonely.

He made his way inside, placing the groceries on his kitchen table. Putting away the new food he had picked up, he worked on cleaning his used dishes.

-

Phil got out of the bath wrapped in three big fluffy towels. He didn’t care if he lived alone, he enjoyed having three. Walking over to his wardrobe, he found a black dress suit that he kept hidden at the back, pressed between a thick wool coat and a pair of slacks that were a size too small for him. It was uncomfortable in areas and he would only wear it when the occasion called for it. Phil placed the suit on the bed and dried himself before getting dressed and doing his hair.

-

He didn’t drive to the restaurant, assuming he would be drinking and would much prefer to be driven home by a driver. Once Phil pulled up outside of the restaurant, he handed over a tip.

Phil walked in and saw the restaurant host, Colin, who already knew who he was and took him straight to the table where his mother and father were seated. They both stood up slightly, Phil's father shook his hand while his mother walked around the table to greet him with a hug and a quick peck to the cheek. Phil moved back to the seat across from them, as a waiter placed a napkin on his lap. He also hated that and could perfectly do it himself.  

Phil gave the waiter his drinks order and made small talk with his parents. “How was your day mother?” He asked while looking to face her.

“Thank you for asking, child. I’ve had quite the busy morning, haven't I, Nigel? While your father was at work today, I kept myself busy by baking some treats, which reminds me. I have some for you.” She eyed under the table to signal to Phil where they were hidden. She raised her finger to her mouth and shh’d him, “I had to sneak them in so don’t tell anyone.”

He let out a small laugh before saying, “Thank you, Mother.”

Unfortunately, his father brought up work, a subject that he was dreading. Nigel cleared his throat and gave his son a stern look. “Johnson told me you were writing a piece for the paper. Care to tell me about it?” He questioned while taking a sip of his beverage.

“Oh dear, isn’t that wonderful?” Phil’s mother hurried, almost interrupting Phil, moving her body to show him she had her full attention as she whipped her hands against the cloth that was once resting against her thighs.

“Well I was told that we have a new attraction starting soon, a circus flyer had been found out in town. I was asked if I could go meet with them, see how they live and write about the show.”

His mother dropped the napkin she was holding. Phil watched as it slid from between her fingers and fell to the tiled floor. “Oh.” she muttered and he watched as she bent down to pick up the cloth, moving it onto an empty plate beside her.

“Do you know when they will open?” His mother wasn't looking him in the eyes any longer, choosing to take a slip for her wine glass.

His father was no longer listening, having pulled out his reading glasses and looking at the paper in his hand.

He watched his mother become flustered before he answered her question. “Umm, not for a couple months yet.”

Phil's mum didn’t contribute to the conversation, instead she lent across the table to Phil and swiped her thumb against his mouth to wipe away something from his face. “Mother,” he started, looking around feeling like he was a small child again.

She replied with a sorry as Phil cleared his throat. “Can we order food now?” Wondering why they hadn't brought any food menus.

“Not yet we’re waiting for someone to join us.” Phil’s father answered, peering up over the top of his newspaper and looking at Phil, before they drifted to the door.

“Who?” He wondered, looking at his mother quizzically.

“Well you know my old friend Anne,” Phil nodded signaling for her to continue. “Well, her daughter is in Manchester after spending a few years in London and she’s looking to move back.” She flicked her eyes to his.

He let out a short sigh, not liking where this was going.

“When I heard Rosie was in Manchester, I said she should come join us for dinner when she was free. You two are both around the same age, Anne and I thought you two would get on well together.” He noticed a hopeful smile on her face.

All Phil could do was swallow and nod his head.

They didn’t have to wait long until the beautiful blonde walked in and Phil turned around to the entrance as soon as he heard heels hitting the marbled floor. He stood up to meet the young lady as did his parents, shaking her hand and greeting her.

She was dressed in a knee length polka dot dress with long sleeves covering her upper arms. Her hair was neatly pulled back away from her face in perfect finger waves, accompanied by a hat covering most of her golden locks. She removed her gloves and placed her bag down after Mr Lester kissed her hand, seating herself in the chair perfectly placed next to Phil’s.

He introduced himself to her, remembering what his mother had already said her name. “Nice to meet you, Rosie, I’m Philip.” Not wanting the young woman to call him Phil just yet.

She bowed her head slightly, smiling. “It’s lovely to meet you, Philip. Your mother has told me an awful lot about you. You are more handsome than she had led me to believe.”

Phil coughed knowing that his mother would be that forward, he had just wished she would have given him a warning beforehand. If he had known, he wouldn’t have come, and maybe that’s why she didn’t tell him.

“Thank you, um — you too.. I mean no, no not you aren’t.. you aren’t handsome.” Oh god, where was he going with this? He looked up at her to see her eyebrows creased and a frown growing on her face.

Sighing, he restarted. “What I meant was you are beautiful too.��� Had he ruined their ‘friendship’ before it had started? Luckily, Rosie laughed and grabbed Phil’s arm, patting him a couple times.

“It’s alright, Philip. I understand completely.” Smiling beautifully at him before she turned to start talking to his parents.

Phil was miles away when he heard his mother speaking to him, “Hmm? Sorry what was that mother?” He looked around the table to see all the bodies watching him, waiting for a reply. “I was saying to Roise that The Palace Theatre has an amazing show on at the moment and…”

Oh. “Oh yes,” he turned his body towards the blonde. He looked back at his mother watching her give him a reassuring nod, turning once again to face Roise and  asking, “Would you be interested in letting me take you out to The Theatre?”

Roise nodded before grabbing his hand. “Why yes, of course that sounds just wonderful, Philip. I must say I will go back to London in a few days to sort out some important things back there. But when I’m back, I would absolutely love to. That is if you don’t mind the wait?”

He turned to see his father smiling at him holding up his hand and giving him a thumbs up, while his mother was silently clapping her hands together in excitement. He never felt so forced into a situation he wasn’t prepared for.

Looking back at Rosie, he smiled a smile that had not quite reached his eyes. “Of course, I’ll wait for you.”

-

Phil was having a pleasant afternoon with his parents and a new friend. He had come to see that Rosie was actually a very fun person to be around: she wasn’t like the many girls he’d had to get to know before, she wasn’t stuck up and prissy like the others and was very funny and charming. If anything, he thought that he could at least have an amazing friendship with the girl.

Phil might have drank a bit too much throughout the meal, not eating very much. His cheeks felt like they were on fire and and he thought must have been a deep shade of magenta.

As he got to know Rosie, she told him about her future move back from London and how she missed home, deciding to come back before she made new plans for her future. When she left to use the bathroom, Phil looked up to see his parents watching him.

“Why are you two staring at me?” Phil moved his napkin to his mouth and wiped the non-existent food off of his lips. He looked back up to see if that had been the problem.

His mother giggled lightly. “Stop being so silly, Philip. There’s nothing on your mouth.” She paused before opening her mouth to speak once again. He saw her moving her head to see Roise coming back into the room and over to the table. “We’ll speak about this later, Phil. Now eat your vegetables.”

————————————————————————

It was after dark when Dan walked to Jack’s trailer, with it being an overly cloudy night there wasn’t much light from the moon. He was having trouble seeing in front of him and when he walked into something hanging in the air, he yelped and tried to spin his body around to run away. He had gotten tangled in something. He knew it was a bad idea not to bring a torch with him, but he had forgotten where he left it and braved the night sky.

Dan was deathly scared of the dark and open fields, he was still fighting to free himself when he felt a hand grab his arm pulling him backwards, he let out a curdling scream. The motion was stopped by a hand covering his mouth, mumbling his cries.

“Help!” He tried to scream.

“Dan! Dan shut up! It’s me, crazy. It’s me.” Dan stopped struggling and relaxed his body in the arms of the person behind him. When he stopped screaming, the person let go of him and maneuvered his body towards them. Dan turned to see Jack looking at him like he had escaped a loony bin.

“What the hell are you doing out here? What were you doing in the dark?” Dan just threw up his fists and hit Jack in the chest.

“Ow, I was coming to your room, you big dummy.” Jack growled out and moved his body out of Dan’s reach.

“Well, why the hell did you grab me? You know I’m scared of the dark. Stop laughing!”

“I heard you while I was going to the trailer. Dan, you were making noises and I thought someone was being murdered. I came and found you caught in hanging clothes.”

Jack brought a light with him and Dan could now see the wire stretched above his head, dripping wet clothes pinned to the rope. “Yes, well I didn’t know, I couldn’t see.”

He looked to see a sock was still resting on his shoulder and grabbed it, throwing it to the ground, before moving toward Jack's trailer. He turned around to see Jack picking up the abandoned clothing left on the dewy grass and Dan lifted his arms in the air to shout, “Come on!” He spun back and listened out to hear Jack’s heavy footsteps as he ran to catch up with the brunette boy.

-

Dan threw the door open, not caring that it hit Jack as they both made their way in Jack’s trailer.

“Ow! What’s wrong with you today?”

Dan threw his body dramatically onto the bed, placing the back of his hand to his forehead before sighing.

“Why is my life so hard?”  

“Dan stop being so bloody dramatic, what is it that could have prompted this midnight chat?” Dan heard Jack moving around his trailer, hearing the wooded seat creak as he sat down on a bench next to the bed.

“I met with Mr Lester today,” He waited for Jack to say something but he gave nothing but silence. Dan grabbed one of the plush pillows off the bed, held it to his mouth and screamed. Jack just watched and laughed, trying to pull the pillow from Dan's face. “Wow is he really that good looking?”

Dan threw the pillow down by his feet and confessed. “Devastatingly so!” he sat up to look over at Jack seated at the bench. “Speaking of, where have you been? Why weren’t you sleeping?” Dan now moved his body to lie on his side, resting his cheek in his hand in interest. “Sneaking in I see.” Dan raised his eyebrow, noting that Jack was still fully dressed in his day clothes.

“I wasn’t sneaking in, I have no shame.” Dan nodded his head. “Huh, how was she?” Jack groaned at Dan’s comment which caused him to laugh loudly. “Oh that good!”

“Dan please stop talking! I’m sure I already have a hangover and I haven't been to bed yet, so move over you big lump.” He made space for Jack to lie with him, Jack threading his arm under Dan's head. At first glance, you’d think that Jack was some big scary Alpha. He was tall and covered in tattoos, but he was the biggest softy Dan knew. He always let Dan cry on his shoulder whenever he thought about his parents, listened to his latest crush and smoothed his hair when Dan would spill his deepest secrets.

“So, you going to tell me about this Mr Lester?” Jack prompted after 10 minutes of silence. Dan thought he had fallen asleep. Turning his head to look at Jack, his eyes were closed and a cheeky smile was plastered across his face.

He moved his body to lay his head on Jack’s chest. “What about him?” Dan replied, focusing on fidgeting with Jack’s shirt button. Jack slapped Dan’s hand away and continued to play with his wavy locks. Sighing, he tried to prop the younger boy. “What did you two do today? What is he like? Did he meet with anyone? Take your pick.”

Dan huffed, “Yeah, yeah. What you’re asking is what he looks like, right? Well, he’s almost as tall as me, he was way too overdressed. You should have seen him in his suit.”

When Dan first saw Phil walk in, or rather stumble in, he couldn’t believe his luck. He was sitting there, forcing himself to read a book and trying to keep his mind off the person who would come into their safe space and ask them for information. But when his eyes landed on the tall ebony haired gentlemen that came tumbling through the tent, all the stress he had a day before had melted away.

Dan let out a small laugh as remembered watching the man slam his body into the stacks of chairs. He wasn’t who he expected - the guy looked like a clumsy git. Dan had expected a man much older and definitely not as attractive as Phil Lester.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt a shove by Jack. “Oi, care to share with the class? I’m not a mind reader, you know.”

“Sorry, sorry…”

-

Dan left Jack’s way too late in the night that he could hear nearby birds start to tweet, thankfully it was still a little dark and that he wouldn’t have to be up early. He hurried back to his trailer and out from the cold, slamming the door shut behind him. Searching for a light, Dan was thankful he had a candle still burning from when he had first left. Oops, that could have been a bad idea. As he made his way to his bed, he could see the outline of a body under the duvet, their long brown hair laying sprawled across his pillow.

It was Hazel.

He watched as he slowly turned her body, rapidly blinking up at Dan. “Dan, where have you been?” She pushed her arm out of the duvet trying to reach for him to join her. He removed his shoes and jacket before slipping underneath the covers.

She had done this often, starting when they were little kids. Normally, Dan would wake up with a face pushed into the back of his neck and most of the quilt missing. He was thankful most nights this happened, not questioning her motive for being there. It was better than being alone. “Go back to sleep.” was all he answered with, shifting his body to cuddle her as she went back to sleep.

“Night Danny, love you.” was barely audible in her sleep state.

He sighed, “Night, Hazel. Love you too.”

#phanfic #phanfiction #hold me in your arms #my fic #C5

[secretstanner]

hold me in your arms, take the pain away

Chapter two

Pairing: Dan Howell/ Phil Lester

Rating: Not yet rated

Tags: AU Circus, Strangers to Lovers, Impiled Character Death, Angst With Happy Ending, Slow Burn. Character death is NOT main character. Summary: Phil Lester is stuck working for his father’s newspaper, when given an assignment. He must write an article about the first circus to return to Manchester in over 10 years.

He arrives at the circus expecting to be reminded of childhood memories. It turns out to be so much more than that when he meets Dan Howell. Word count: 3.3k Ao3

Dan was wandering through the almost vacant fields before going to find Hazel, swinging his shoes that he had placed in one hand after pulling his trouser legs up to expose his knee caps. He took his time to stroll across the vivid green as spring wouldn’t be around for much longer; he wanted to remember the feeling of fresh grass under his bare feet before it became dried and cracked.

He was looking forward to the summer, having such fond memories of him and Hazel putting on shows for the other performers, being only six and seven at the time. Dan still had a silver scar that was badly hidden by sparse leg hair. They had been told about how much potential they had by Dan’s parents, who  

decided that if the pair promised to practice, his mum and dad would give them lessons. Learning aerial acrobatics took a lot of time and strength having to hold Hazel off the ground, even if it was only by a couple of feet. However, after a few short months of practice they started their double act.

He could vividly remember the moment he and Hazel saw the life-sized poster pasted on the side of one of the trailers. It showed them dressed in their vibrant show outfits, covered with rhinestones and feathers. Hazel was excited the day she got to borrow one of Dan’s mother’s wigs. It looked too big for her head and Dan was sent into uncontrollable laughter when he first caught sight of her almost toppling over.

Dan hadn’t realised he reached the dining tent until he felt a pair of arms slide around his midsection. He watched as two hands with red-painted fingernails squeezed tightly around the fabric of his shirt, and turned his face to catch Hazel smiling brightly at him.

He let out a small chuckle. “Something you need, Hazel?” She untangled her body from Dan’s to walk in front of him instead. He loved Hazel, he really did, but only as a friend. Sometimes Dan thought she was the only one who couldn’t see what everyone else did.

“Yes actually." She gave him a concerned look, turning away to peer around the tent to see if anyone was within earshot. Grabbing him by the wrist, she dragged him to one of the worn picnic tables that didn’t look like it could hold both of their weight.

“Did you find out what Vincent wanted from you?” She questioned.

Dan turned his body to face her, he saw that she was probably coming up with theories in her head. “He was heading out and I caught him before he left.”

Hazel scrunched up her face, causing the skin between her brows to become creased. “Oh where was he going?” Hazel rushed to say before Dan could finish his sentence.

“Can I answer the first question before you ask more?” He joked, playfully and this was usually the way their friendship worked: she was like an annoying little sister, and he was the irritating big brother.

Hazel impatiently lifted her hand to flick his ear, ordering him to continue.

“Ow first name calling now physical abuse, I don’t think I can put up with this for a day longer.” Dan moved off the seat, pretending to leave and he yelped as she forcefully yanked his arm to pull him back down onto the bench.

Once seated, Dan adjusted his body comfortably before he said, “I caught him when he was leaving and Vincent asked if I was comfortable with showing the newspaper reporter around.”

Dan’s shoulders slumped as he rubbed a hand across his mouth. “He doesn’t look healthy, Hazy. I think the stress is really taking a toll on him.” He sighed out.

He looked over to Hazel and she nodded in agreement. “I haven’t seen much of him since we got here, but I’m happy that he asked if you would show the reporter around. Vincent needs a break from spending so many years trying to keep the circus from failing by making sure we were housed, and the animals were fed. I don’t know how much longer he can go on for.”

Dan noticed the look of worry on her face, and he couldn’t let her get too worked up over the unpleasant thoughts plagued her brain.

He plastered a smile on his face before stating, “Vincent said this could help bring in a big audience, like when we were young. Real crowds, Hazy! All here to see you perform. All we need to do is give the right impression.” He gently shoved her shoulder, causing her body to slightly fall backwards.

“You'll have so many people coming to watch what you can do.” He prophesied.

She quickly looked down at her lap and tried to conceal her ever growing grin. Dan knew that’s what she wanted ever since they were young. She wanted people to know her name. She wanted to be adored.

“Will I be interviewed?”

Dan lent forward, grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, giving it a gentle peck. “But of course, our staring act needs to be interviewed. How could you not?”

Hazel pulled her hand away. “Stop being so silly, Dan.” She couldn’t help as she chuckled at Dan’s theatrical behaviour.

Dan sat up and cast a neutral expression on his face. “Sorry, yes Vincent wants everyone to be interviewed if possible.” Dan hunched forward, letting the bones of his elbows dig into the dark cotton fabric that contained the flesh on thighs.

Letting out a sigh, he continued. “I’m going to have to tell the others.”

“When are you going to tell them?” Hazel pushed one of the fallen ringlets away from her eyes and locked eyes with Dan.

This would not be easy to get everyone to let their guard down. They knew what people viewed them as and the thought of someone they didn’t know coming into their home, was terrifying.

Dan stood up and walked a couple of feet away from where he was sitting, turning to look around the room full of most of the entertainers. “Now or never I guess." He shrugged after taking a deep breath as he made his way to the front of the tent. He found a deserted chair that had been placed to the side of the tent and climbed on top.

Dan stood frozen on the chair, looking around and noted that no one was paying him any attention. He was an awkward person but he knew most of these people his whole life. He just had to spit it out and he cleared his throat to attract attention to him. No one had noticed, many still talked while they picked at their leftovers from lunch. He tried again, but no one had looked up.

He opened his to shout, before he heard:

“Oi! Dan's got something to say.” He studied the room searching for where the voice came from. Dan caught sight of Jack’s well-built body positioned on top of a broken table, shaking as it struggled to hold up his weight. Silence soon filled the tent.

Jack was his closest friend here and he knew everything about Dan; things he couldn’t tell anyone else, not even Hazel. “Thank you, Jack.” he said after he sent him a smile.

Jack dragged his tattooed hand through his dirty blond hair, jumped down off the table and walked over to where Dan stood. He placed his hand on the dark haired boy’s back and coolly replied with, “No problem Dan.” Before he pressed his back against a pole, crossing his arms to listen to what Dan was about to say.

Dan took a couple seconds of silence before he spoke, trying to keep up his composure.

“So what I wanted to speak about was, Vincent has informed me we will be having a writer working for ‘The Lester Standard’ coming in the next few days.”

A room full of 30 people stared back in confusion before they turned to each other and whispered between themselves.

Jack was the first to speak up, “What do you mean? What’s a newspaper want with us lot?”

“Vincent thinks it will be good for publicity, he received a letter from a newspaper company here in Manchester. They say to be one of the most popular news outlets, and they’ve offered us publicity if we do interviews on being travelling performers, learn what we do in our free time, what kind of people we are. That sort of thing.” Dan didn’t know what else he could say. He barely knew anything himself.

“Are you sure, Dan? Carneys have not been back here in years. All they want is interviews about our acts, learn that we are normal people no different from them.”

Dan looked down, he felt unsure of how everyone was feeling already. “Well yes, that’s what they said.” He rubbed his hand up and down his arm in hopes of comforting himself.

"I think it’s a good idea, this will help bring in more money. People will actually buy tickets. We’re not the best now, we’re barely getting by. Don’t any of you miss what we had?” He looked over to Dorothy who was sat in Dan’s place next to Hazel.

“What do you think Dorothy?” He wanted her approval, Her opinion mattered to him like a mother.

Everyone now turned and faced her. She let go of Hazel’s hand and walked to stand next to dan. “Dan is right. So is Vincent. Think about what this could do for us, no one has knowledge of us being here. The people this could reach far more than a few posters can do. We can change the view they have about us, about all of us." Dan looked out to see a few people that had nodded their heads in agreement.

“We will lose everything.” Heads snapped away from the front of the room to see Queenie, she was a gypsy who worked with them by reading cards and people’s palms. Dan didn’t believe any of it. He knew it sold as an attraction and so they all played up to the gimmick,  knowing people would buy into the show and pay extra for a reading.

Jack spoke after a minute of silence. “Yeah okay, loony.” He rolled his eyes, and the silence before was now interrupted with contagious laughter. Even Dan couldn’t hold back letting out a small laugh before he covered his mouth with his hand.

A small voice shouted from somewhere in the room. “When are they getting here?” The room’s gaze had fallen back to Dan.

He shook his head and smiled in disbelief, it looked like some people didn’t need much convincing after all.

“Tomorrow.”

————————————————————————

The sun had barely risen when Phil woke, it had been over a week since he had the conversation with his boss. He was going there to write the dreaded article.

No matter how much he hated this job he was forced into, he still respected his parents. His father allowed him to go to university as long as he studies English Language, luckily that is what Phil wanted to study alongside Linguistics. He still had to get a job working with his father but he thought it was worth it. Phil still used the techniques he learnt from his course in private.

Phil soon would make his way to the location of the circus. He got out of bed and decided to dress down for today; he wasn’t going to his work building.

The raven haired man found a pair of old work shoes in the back of his wardrobe that he didn’t mind getting muddy, not knowing what today inteled.

Once dressed in dark slacks paired with a blazer and white shirt, he sat down for some toast to settle the hunger pains in his stomach. He spent the night tossing and turning before finally getting to sleep, not long before he was woken by his bedside alarm ringing. Phil decided to get up and walk around the kitchen hoping to distract him from his nervous and anxious thoughts.

When it was ready to leave his town house, he made his way to the bathroom to give himself a look over. Picking up the comb that was placed on the bathroom sink, he pulled it through his already waxed hair and inspected his teeth in the mirror, checking to see any crumbs still resided there. His black frames began to slide down his nose, catching them just before they hit the ground. Once done looking in the mirror, he plastered on a fake smile before letting out a long breath and frowning.

Today would be fine, he thought to himself. He would only meet a couple of people and then he would get home to start working on the article. Phil held his shaky hands out in front of him and shook them out. Why was he letting his anxiety get the best of him? Maybe he wasn’t anxious and the sick feeling in his stomach was just excitement. He tried not to think about it. When it was time for him to leave, he picked up his bag and walked through the front door.

When he drove across the barren fields, all he saw was wooden trailers. Some painted in bright colours that looked to be faded, acrylic now chipped off the once vibrant wood. His eyes lit up with familiarity as soon as they landed on the incredible red and yellow tent. It looked worn and old, like it wasn’t the same circus that he visited as a child, but the memories still came flooding back.

He felt like he’d been transported back to that 12 years old boy. It looked a lot different in the daytime with nothing surrounding it. It still looked magical. He couldn't stop the giant grin from forming on his face as he leaned his head out of the car window. If he wasn’t careful he'd get a sore jaw from all the smiling.

He left his car to take a slow walk across the grass, he didn’t know how well his car would drive over the rest of the way, he didn’t want his wheels to dig up the beautiful green scenery choosing to continue by foot the rest of the way. Phil felt himself coming to a stop. Standing gazing at the tent for a few minutes, he felt the muscles in the back of his neck start to hurt and so decided it was best to make his way to find who he’s looking for.

He couldn’t see anyone outside the tent, which wasn’t a surprise, it was still a couple months before the show opened. At least that’s what Mr Johnson heard from the man who ran this place.

Phil didn't understand where he was going, surrounding him were the many mobile homes. He did not know if he should approach one trailer? He decided against knocking on one door in case he woke someone, it was still early in when he left his house before the sun had risen.

After strolling around the fields, he noticed an open slit in through the side of the tent, which he couldn’t knock on and so decided it would be fine to walk in. He walked with ambition towards the opening before spinning around and walking back, dramatically throwing his hands in the air.

Just walk in Phil for heaven’s sake.

After passing back and forth for a couple minutes he used all his will power to push through the opening.

He wasn’t greeted with a person, just stacks of white chairs. Accidentally, he bumped into them causing them to topple over forcefully. He stood watching as they fell to the ground, causing a loud thud. There wasn’t much he could do but wait till they were all down before trying to correct the mess he made.

He looked down at the metal chairs on the floor before asking himself out loud. “Why am I like this?” He didn’t have time to bend down before he heard a voice coming from the back of the tent.

“Um, what are you doing back here?”

Phil stopped dead in his tracks. Why did it feel like that had happened before?

He quickly stood up right, hastily he turned around and searched for the person's voice. A figure was sat at a small bench hidden in the corner. Their feet were placed on top of a table with one leg crossing the other, a book placed in their lap. While approaching them, Phil moved his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose and cleared his throat as to speak.

Phil continued to walk across the tent seeing a young man was looking over at him. As he got closer, he could make out the man's features, they became sharper and more defined. He had a confused look on his face, eyebrows raised to his hairline. When Phil got a better look at his face the man looked very young, possibly even a teenager.

He was beautiful.

His hair was longer than Phil’s, by at least a few inches. His hair was in shiny chestnut waves, some of it curled into ringlets that lay neatly against his forehead and neck. His eyes were a deep shade of brown, almost feminine in their appearance. The boy was wearing a shirt that had contrasted against his skin, unlike Phil’s that was a almost sickly pale colour.

The brown eyed boy's bottom lip was significantly bigger than his top one that was nearly non-existent. He noticed he was well spoken and not to judge, but he was shocked hearing the man's true voice.

Phil looked down at what he was wearing somehow he still looked overdressed. He was hoping not to stand out too much, choosing to leave his hat in the car. Fortunately for him, he decided against wearing a tie today. Partly because It always made his neck itchy.

Phil hadn't realised how long he’d been staring and he spoke in a rushed breath. “Um I’m sorry, my name’s Philip Lester.” He held his hand out towards the young man now only a couple feet away when he dashed forward. The boy hadn’t moved from the position he was found in, Phil shook his head and pulled his hand away awkwardly. “I’m from ‘The Lester Standard’. I was sent to write an article and interview the performers here.”

The boy just stared back face void of any expression. He looked like he didn’t know that Phil would be here. "I was told to ask for Daniel?” He saw a teasing grin shot across the young man’s face.

“Oh so you’re the Mr Lester that’s caused all the fuss around here?” Phil watched as the boy spoke, heavily placing the book on the table causing a loud bang. He pushed his chair back before he planted his feet firmly on the ground, yet still not making a move to actually stand.

Phil put his hand out once again as to shake the man's hand. “You can just call me Philip or Phil. Phil’s fine.”

“Okay then, Phil.” The boy said, letting out a small laugh.

Phil gently rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, waiting for the man to speak again and tell him where to find Daniel. But he just stared at Phil, his smile only wavering when he chuckled lightly.

He wanted for this convocation to be over and find the man that was here to show him around. He spoke up for the last time, “Would you please point me in the direction to find him.” Phil let out in a sharp breath, he let himself blink after he stared at the man for too long.

The young man finally stood and brushed past Phil’s shoulder, causing him to stumble back slightly. “You're speaking to him.”

#phanfic #phanfiction #hold me in your arms #my fic