#its so fucked because im stuck between feeling coherced but also knowing the situation i was putting myself into

[weedexchange]

i cheated last night

#i never thought i would #it was with a complete stranger #im just in such a confusing relationship with *** #about a week ago he asked me for exclusivity but he always assumes im dating anyone i talk about #and he seems fine by that #we arent in a comminted relationship but i feel so inlove with him #but i wonder if i really am #so basically what happened was a met this guy while walking my dog he was already a little drunk he had just gotten off work at a local #restraunt and i was in my car smoking weed and he approached and asked if he could come in and smoke with me and i accepted #he tried to kiss me twice and i rejected him and explained the situation with *** #he kept being very pushy like touching me and stuff and im not going to act like i didnt know what i was doing because i did #he invited me into his house to smoke more and i should have known to deny #he didnt let me leave his house #its so fucked because im stuck between feeling coherced but also knowing the situation i was putting myself into #i didnt sleep last night and i had an 8 hour shift today im exhausted but im going to talk to *** in person about this #i cant not tell him i cant keep thid from him and continue our relationship like normal its not right #im fucking sick with guilt because i know that if i had just had a conversation with *** first then he probably would have let me #i never pictured myself doing something like this ive been obsessing over it all day #i have to be accountable for my own actions and owning up to what i did and being honest is the only way to go #i definitely considered lieing about the reason and just stopping talkkng to *** #but i cant bring myself to fo that i care about him too much #which seens hypocritical because if i really cared i wouldnt have done this shit