#about a week ago he asked me for exclusivity but he always assumes im dating anyone i talk about | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wizkiddx · 3 years

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i saw that you at least used to write for harry could u do another? like maybe im just a basic bitch but 'only one bed' trope or sm

Summary: honestly just me shitty attempt at the only one bed thing ahah with Harry Holland x reader

no warnings I don’t think apart from my ramabling :)

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God you were groggy. It had been a long 16 hour flight and you were well and truly completely over this day. Once you’d had some proper sleep, no doubt you will be beyond excited to explore the forest and beaches of this remote island in Indonesia. You were certain it was beautiful, even if you’d arrived in the dead of night so you couldn’t see any of the majesty yet. It was one of the joys of being Tom’s makeup artist - travelling the world and being paid for it? A literal dream.

Except maybe the previous 24 hours. The Holland name carried a lot of weight in the world, but not enough to control typhoons across the tropics - there were some limitations to his power. And yes first class lounges were nice but none had beds to crash on during the 6 hour weather delay. The four of you (Tom, Harry, Andrew and yourself) ended up camping out in a out-the-way corner. Tom got the long sofa; Andrew in one of those weird egg line chairs; you and Harry splayed on the floor. Why you’d had to get up at 4 am to catch a flight that was now not departing till 12 hours later actually hurt to think about - especially because you’d all gone out for a meal the night before that had inevitable went a lot later than planned.

Two connecting flights with a very angry baby later, the four of you were checking in to the only hotel on the island - which was now almost exclusively filled with the production team for Tom’s newest movie. It wasn’t especially big-budget with massive million pound overheads, instead a smaller scale indie film (that you privately thought might earn Tom a number of accolades). But yeh, shooting on an island that received almost no tourism meant everything was different to the usual. None more so than for Tom and his team (including you) who he normally would look after very well, with the nicest hotel rooms or rental homes.

The hotel was basic, you’d known that before you arrived but seeing is believing is it not? Most entertaining though, was seeing Tom’s face. Andrew was a well travelled older guy, he had stayed in some shitholes in his life. Equally you and Harry had both travelled when you were younger (you through inter railing and him in australia), so had stayed in hostels before. But for Hollywood star Tom Holland? The way he tilted his head to the side as if to say ‘really this place?’ did lift your spirits momentarily.

Andrew had got his key first, bidding you all good night with a grunt, then Tom - who still seemed confused as to the whole arrangements. It left you and Harry at the small dingy reception, the warm glow of an old lantern-esque light fixing illuminating the place. The guy behind the desk was a smiley local and greeted you warmly, if incorrectly.

“Ah and finally the couple I see!” He spoke with a thick accent but still very clear English which had you questioning if this was just a translational error. Harry looked at you instantly, his eyes wide which made you scoff - him joining in, shaking his unruly curly mop emphatically.

“No no we um… we aren’t together.” All the while Harry pointed between the two of you, communicating through actions rather than just the language, given that you were both the very typical Brits abroad who hadn’t learnt the language of the place they were visiting.

“Still under Holland name?” The guy asked in a perplexed manner, flicking through a book filled with cursive scribbles and scanning to see if he’d made a mistake. He checked one, then looked up nervously before checking the same page once again- you saw where this was going. ”We, we only have couples room down for you though? 3 double rooms is the booking for Holland.”

It was late, you both stunk of a combination of plane and BO, you both just wanted your individual and respective beds.

“Well can we get another room then?” Harry didn’t quite snap but there was still an impatientcy to his voice, which came out whenever he was a little agitated. Seeing the slightly worried look the mans eyes, you leaned onto the desk with a genuine smile.

“Sorry we know its last minute and its not your fault, we’ve just had a really long flight.”

“I am terribly sorry miss but we are only small hotel and Hollywood has filled us up. I have no other rooms. I am truly sorry sir, ma’am.” The guy went from looking worried to terrified as Harrys jaw tensed up, you naturally squeezed his arm to try and ground him, instantly deciding that you’d just work it out.

“No no it’s not your fault, don’t worry we’ll figure it out. Can I just get the key?”

Harry stepped back and let youtakeover proceedings, signing all the insurance documents etc and asking the man about the breakfast arrangements and such, though you saw him furiously typing on his phone and by the buzzing in your pocket- presumed he was messaging the group of you Tom, Andrew and himself.

Once finished the guy pointed you on your way, up two flights of stairs and down a hall. The whole time Harry was muttering about how useless the other two were for not replying and also for making the wrong booking in the first place. If only you hadn’t been the last two to checkin, then it would’ve been someone else’s problem.

He felt especially guilty just because you were the only girl- he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, hence why he was trying to locate his brother so they could share tonight till they got it figured out. The tension, combined with sleep deprivation, was palpable as you both walked in silence toward the room - Harry was trying to formulate a plan in his head as they did so. And honestly? You just couldn’t be bothered to deal with it. So, once you reached the door 57 holding the physical key (old school, rather than a key card) you just decided to address it.

“Will you chill please?”

“Well if my idiot broth-“

“Oh leave him be for god sake. If you’re okay with it I really don’t mind sharing with you tonight?” Not bothering to laugh at his slightly shocked expression with mouth hanging a little open, you fiddled with the key until the lock clicked open. From the entrance you had a pretty clear view of the whole room and… well, lets just say dated would be a fair expression - when compared to what you were used to? The floor was tiled and the bed was a small double, with some funky and slightly washed out prints of blue and red on the cover. The pillows looked a little limp, more like glorified pieces of cardboard than anything fluffy and comfortable. The walls were that yellowy magnolia shade that everyone in the UK had gone insane for in the 80s and there was an old school wooden wardrobe in the corner.

Home for 5 weeks.

With a shrug of your shoulders you entered, dumping your personal and work suitcases by the far wall carelessly - the higher priority action being to collapse on the bed. Doing so with an overdramatic huff, you let your eyes close but payed special attention to the delayed footsteps of Harry as he entered, then the slight creaking noise as he perched on the other side of the bed - no doubt looking at you, at least slightly fearfully.

The relationship between you and Harry was complex to say the least. Well no… it should be, not on the face of it. You had met through work and made friends. And you wished it was that simple but alas, nothing ever really is. When you’d first worked with Tom you were in the tail end of a relationship you had long since forgotten about - literally meaningless, not worth the time and effort you’d put into it. From the start you’d had a feeling Harry was more interested in you than the average co-worker (even if your job and therefore co-workers were anything but normal and average) but you were in a relationship so nothing ever came.

Then almost as if synchronised, just as you got out your relationship, Harry threw himself in the deep end with a girl he’d met through his family friends. Then the roles were somewhat reversed, you now spent a good chunk of your day just entertaining yourself with thoughts of the curly headed, slightly awkward, very-passionate-about-tea-making Holland. The cliche is so real - your always want what you cannot have.

However, a couple months ago his relationship had fizzled and faded away leaving both of you in a sort of no mans land. The sort of not wanting to ruin the friendship situation. The subject was never broached by either you - except you assumed he was being tormented in a similar way to how you were by his big brother and Andrew. Never publicly, yet whenever you found yourself alone in a room with one of them (being Tom’s makeup artist that happened often enough) there would always be a sly dig. The chemistry was so ‘obvious even a blind man could see it’. Somehow though, weeks of this and your were still stuck. Stuck in the middle.

“You sure you’re alright with this?” His voice was gruffer and hoarser from the long journey but you could hear the self-consciousness and naivety in his tone, without having to peel your eyes open and look at his face.

“I know your not a murder and plus, we shared the airport floor this morning… this is pretty much the same.” He hummed in acknowledgement so you carried on “and plus your pint sized.” That earned you a playful shove in the side as you sniggered, before pulling yourself up so you we now sitting next to him, legs hanging off the edge of the bed. His brown eyes searched deeply into yours, as if physically checking for any hint of regret or hesitation. “Don’t even dare offering to go on the floor.”

“Okay okay okay!” Holding his hands up in surrender, you both laughed, breaking the peace of the late night of the remote Indonesian island. Once an impressive yawn interrupted you though, Harry proclaimed it was time for bed and shooed you into the bathroom to get changed and sorted.

Honestly you were too tired and lazy to dig out your cleanser and skin stuff, instead opting to just splash a bit of water on your face before swapping into your pj shorts and an old tattered oversized tee. Once done you and Harry swapped, him coming out a couple minutes later in basketball shorts and a black loose fitting tee.

It wasn’t awkward so to speak, more a sort of excited-tense atmosphere, which there was no doubt Harry was mainly responsible. The boy was jittery and on edge, which to put simply, you didn’t have the energy to reciprocate.

With a quiet wish of goodnight to each other, Harry flicked off the bedside lamp and you both rolled to your respective edges of the bed, a large space of no mans land between you. In the middle. You know the first time you share a room with someone and you overthink everything? When you don’t want to move about or fidget too much in case it disturbs the other? When your listening intently to their breathing, in the hope it’ll even out and only then will you feel able to fall asleep yourself?

Well it doesn’t work when both of you are doing it. When both of you are professional over thinkers.

God knows how long it took till you gave up, favouring sleep over your worries and concerns. So you flipped over, no doubt rocking the whole bed, turning to face his back that was still huddled almost teetering off the edge of the bed. The only light within the whole room was that coming under the actually scarily large gap between the floor and the door to the hallway. It was just enough to see the back of Harry’s curls and you must’ve fallen asleep trying to trace all the torturous and windy routes of the strands.

///////////

In the morning the process of waking up didn’t come easy to you as normal for many reasons; the long day prior; the jet lag; the weird surroundings. So you stayed in this sort of blissful haze for probably longer than you should. Half aware but not really; half asleep but not quite. In the middle of sleep and alertness. Therefore it took you longer than it should have to notice the extra weight on the dip of your waist. Not anything alarming, just a presence you were absolutely not used to. It was only when you shifted a bit to lie further on your back, that enough of a stimulus from the added pressure made you actually open your eyes blearily. And sure enough, a limp hand looked to have casually and unconsciously been thrown over your side.

As if in slow motion, you traced the arm backwards - first with your eyes, but then having to twist your neck too. Only then could you fully see the browny ginger haired boy who was lowkey spooning you? It was certainly a way to fully wake you up, breath halted to a stand still in your lungs, in fear of disturbing him and having to confront what would almost certainly be an awkward situation.

There was still a safe hands width distance between the two of you except for the rogue arm. Harry’s head was placed to the edge of his pillow, mouth slightly parted as his breathing slightly tickled the wispy hairs on the back of your neck. He looked so peaceful and calm - a difference to the normal Harry who, even on a good day, took great pleasure in meticulously picking things apart and being a bit cynical. It was part of his ‘charm’; but seeing him like this was a type of vulnerability he rarely chose to show.

To be fair he was asleep, he dint realise he was exposing himself in this way.

Finding yourself a little transfixed (a bit creepy but hey) on the natural curves and definition of his face, you ever so carefully rolled over in the bed to face him. It stopped you from craning your neck and gave the sleepy boy a slight nudge, making him tense his arm a little more tightly round you.

He settled quickly though, giving you ample opportunity to just observe what was going on . Both right in front of you… and what the hell was going on in your head. Because to be honest it was an overwhelming amount of emotion thoughts for the early morning.

Somehow you must’ve eventually drifted off once again because the next thing you were aware of was a shuffling from immediately next to you. This time though, you were instantly aware of exactly the situation you found yourself in and chose to keep up the pretence of sleep - a little interested in how Harry would play it.

You heard a small gasp, having to suppress a chuckle at what you imagined Harry’s sleepy and panicked face looked like. That lasted a couple of moments, before you felt him painstakingly slowly peel his hand from your waist and if you were being 100% honest… you heart sort of sank.

What you had been expecting?- you don’t know and really there was really no reason to be disappointed. Yet, you still felt this deflated and disappointed feeling, hit your chest especially hard. Perhaps it was because of your focus on that emptyness that you forgot you were supposed to be pretending to be asleep./.

Because when he had delicately brushed the side of your face to tuck a rogue bit of hair behind your ear - your eyes flickered open. Like a rabbit caught in headlights, Harry froze, his hand still hovering over your jaw. Equally, you didn’t know what to do. Because really… do friends tuck hair behind the others ears? And do friends look at each other with this matched expression of confusion and fear?

It took a painfully long time (though in reality was probably only a matter of seconds) before the boy retracted his hand, suddenly sitting up from his reclined position down at you. Mirroring his actions, you both ended up sitting, facing the opposite wall, bodies closer than they needed to be in the double bed. Both still very much in the middle.

“I er-“

“-No no don’t… was nice of you” He had been about to apologise which you didn’t want to hear. You didn’t want to hear ‘ I didn’t mean it’ - you wanted him to mean it. In response Harry nodded jerkily, and from your peripheries, noticed he was searching your face for any sign of emotion.

“Still can’t believe this all happened… I-I didn’t disturb you too much did I?” He sounded really nervous. You were never like this with each other. So static and forced.

“No no… I slept really good actually.” Your register was quieter, waiting till you’d finished speaking before looking over at him with a self conscious smile.

“Ah I’m glad… I um-I did too.” The silence returned and the atmosphere just felt sharp. It felt like you were quite literally walking either side of a knife edge. It made you chew on your bottom lip, playing with the slightly frayed edges of the vintage quilt.

“Y/n- I look…” He’d bolted upright and voice was more raised than normal for the morning. “This is gonna sound so fucking weird, especially cos we’re literally in the same bed but... but I was thinking we could maybe go on a hike or something together?” What he seemed to be suggesting didn’t match the level of panic that was conveyed in his body language which confused you. And what the bed had to do with it… was yet to make sense in your head.

“I think Andrew said we’re getting some tour of island this afternoon so-“

“ I kinda meant just you and me.”

The penny dropped and it had you focusing all energy on processing what was happening - understandably causing Harry to only worry more with the lack of response. “I’m sorry if I’ve ruined ever-“

“No I-I….I’d really like that too.”

“Oh er… well… really?” The sheer shock made you giggle, feeling the two of you sliding back into the normal dynamic.

“Normally a boy has to buy me a drink before he gets in my bed but….” A mischevious smirk that spread across your lips gave Harry the final confirmation that just maybe you were interested too, making him scoff and quietly chuckle.

It was odd; mainly because this was the two of you being incredibly vulnerable and honest with each other - something that you hadn’t allowed yourself to be for fear of messing things up. And then one lazy morning, both with morning breath and slightly puffy eyes, it changed. For the first time when you looked at him, he really saw - and vice versa. You were still in the middle of something, yet it was completely different.

This time you were in the middle together figuratively as well as literally. In the middle of the bed, closer than you needed to be, but not wanting to retreat - while you both just looked shyly and bashfully at each… Eventually you lips hesitantly met in the middle.

#Harry Holland #Harry Holland fluff #Harry holland x y/n #harry holland x reader #tom holland

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remmiesaloser · 4 years

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13 Years | 4 Weeks

honestly, I dont know which of the two have been longer in my life.

so recently I ended a 13 year long relationship with the guy I've been dating since my freshman year of high school. it took me this long to understand, acknowledge, and accept the relationship was emotionally (and borderline physically) abusive and thanks two my two best friends and a very nice therapist I asked him to move out.

I thought the overwhelming life style change would be the hardest. I haven't been alone since I was 14 and it took me a long time to build up the courage to end things because I am terrified of change and had little to no idea what to do without him. to my surprise I've adapted to being alone pretty well. the loneliness does get to me sometimes - I miss those moments we had where we could have a conversation without speaking. I miss over a decade’s worth of inside jokes, and it still hurts when I see something and instantly think of him cause it was our thing.

its a daily struggle to remind myself why I did this because its frighteningly easy to minimize the damage he did when he’s not here to do it every day. the gaslighting and emotional manipulation isn't something that just switches off or diminishes with distance. somehow, in some super shitty, unfair way, it gets worse. because im left alone with my thoughts that he’s managed to turn against me and they’re still working angles for him that catch me off-guard sometimes. I still battle with guilt for making him move out, because I feel terrible that now he’s stuck living with his mom and all his things are in boxes. and I hate that it’s gonna take a long time for that to go away.

but I digress. because all of that isn’t the hardest part. the hardest part is getting him the fuck out of this apartment. we 'ended things’ April 5th. there are quotes around that because we haven’t officially broken up. like, I told him I needed a break till he gets his shit together, and he’s all but moved out, but I haven’t even changed our relationship status on Facebook (yay, guilt!) and we haven't really agreed that we’re broken up. Jesus, again I digress. ANYWAYS. I knew it was gonna be a process to move him out because our lives are so intertwined that we’ve had to go through rooms and drawers and boxes one by one separating our shit. and this process has been fucking agonizing because he is dragging his goddamn feet.

Initially I thought we were gonna bang this out in a weekend, get all the shit out and be done. A month later, and there’s still a pile of his shit at the top of the stairs, a handful of things in the corner of the living room (including the giant china cabinet filled with his things) and his grandmother’s dishes in my cupboards. but that’s a post for another day. because right now im just gonna vent about him taking his sweet ass time, being insanely petty, and still somehow fucking manipulating me when he doesn’t even live here anymore.

honestly the pettiness and inconsideration for my own time and requests is the biggest thing that’s getting to me, what’s driving me to write this. most of the time he’s been here for his shit, his mom’s been with him, and I was chalking up a lot of the pettiness to her. because he’d be here to get the things from the living room, and hours after they'd left I’d notice small things had been taken from other parts of the house. now some of the stuff he’s taken was his, just something I was using with him that I’d assumed he’d at least mention he was taking. im a lot of things, but selfish isn’t one of them and honestly unless it’s something from my family or something that I bought that was expensive, I don’t care. he can have it. It’s more the fact that, when I need something all of a sudden I cant find it and realize he took it.

like, his nana’s pots and pans. They’re a really nice set his mom let us have and I fully expected them gone. my only request was that he give me a heads up so I could go out and get my own set when he planned to take them because with them gone, all I’d have left is a few frying pans. This is our conversation from that weekend:

This was Saturday afternoon. He never told me he wasn’t going to come by Saturday, and gave me a 15 minute heads up he was on his way over on Sunday - which did me no good because I wasn’t even home. That meant I couldn’t clean out the dressers (I didnt want to do it until the day he was going to get them because I would have to leave my clothes on the bed until I could get my own dresser from my parent’s house once his were gone). When I got home, all of my clothes were thrown on my bed and the ground.I had to rewash a bunch of shit, refold everything, and then clean the entire room from the mess that was made.

fucking on top of that, his mom decided to take the pots and pans. I’d specifically asked him Saturday because I was going to Walmart and could have bought a new set for myself while there. I didn't want to buy them until I needed to because I’m trying to save money and didn’t get paid that weekend, so I figured if he’s not taking them I don’t need to get things until I get paid next weekend. Wrong. I had to go out that night again and get a set because, as I said, all I had were 3 frying pans and a skillet thing. Oddly enough, she didn’t take the dishes. They were her mom’s, just like the pots and pans, and for some reason she didn’t want them... don’t worry, I already plan to pack them up this weekend and give them back because lord knows what’ll happen if I dont and she decides she wants them six years from now.

honestly though the biggest level of petty was the Tylenol PM. I know, it’s not a big deal. But it’s just one of those little things that I stopped and was like, are you fucking kidding me. I noticed that, after taking his bed and dressers, the pack of tissues he’d got us from Sam’s was gone. Again, he bought them, whatever. would’ve been nice for him to tell me so I had a heads up to fucking get them when I was at Walmart but whatever. he also took a 6-pack of toilet paper he’d gotten literally the day we ended things (because he’d gone to king Soopers with his mother instead of talking to me about the fight we’d had) and he’d initially told me to keep it, it was for me anyways. I noticed just last weekend it was gone.

but the fucking Tylenol PM. I'm not one to buy brand name medicine. if I can get store brand, I will. Almost all my medicine is store brand except that Tylenol PM because I was really sick one year and wanted the good stuff. Y’all know how expensive Tylenol is. I sprang for it, and I used it sparingly because I didnt want to have to buy more if I didn’t really need it. Well, two weekends ago I fell down a fucking mountain. I was running a trail down a mountain, tripped, flew through the air, and landed on my shoulder and kneecap. It still hurts, and that day I was in a lot of pain. The regular Tylenol and Ibuprofen that I’d been switching back and forth with all day just wasn’t doing the trick and I was like, okay. this is a Tylenol PM kind of pain. That night, right before bed, I went to grab it from the bathroom cabinet.

it was gone. the rest of my medicines, the store brand acetaminophen and store brand ibuprofen, those were still there, but the Tylenol PM was gone. It has exclusively only lived either on the dresser/nightstand in the bedroom, or the bathroom cabinet. as he took the dresser and nightstand, and it wasn’t in the cabinet, it had been taken. I cannot tell you how livid I was. it still pisses me off. because of all the things to take he took that. Not the rest of his bathroom shit, not even all his shit from the bedroom. but he took the Tylenol PM. I even asked if he knew where it might be - thinking he’d come across it at some point. he told me “it’s always been in the linen closet” where the rest of our medicines are. It was never there, but I checked the entire closet just in case - nothing. Again, I know it’s small. it’s just a bottle of pills. but it’s the whole damn thought behind it.

there’s more things too - the fact that no, he doesn’t take all his things from a certain room, and I have to then box the rest of his shit up, move it out of my way, and clean the room that he trashed.

It’s the fact that 90% of the things on our walls were his (which helps show me how little say I had on my own things in the apartment I exclusively pay for) and now that he’s taken them, he’s left the walls, hooks, and nails behind. most of them are up way above my head - he needed a ladder to put them in - and now they’re littered all over the wall. today, as he worked to get the shit from our front bedroom (hopefully the last things he’ll need to get) I asked him if he could also get the nails and hooks out of the wall because I can’t reach them. he asked me, “did you try using the step-ladder?”. I answered no, and he simply said, “that should work then”. Like, no. you put those up, so you could display all the things of yours YOU wanted to display (3 out of 4 walls in the room were covered with his things) and now he can’t even take the tacks down even though he took the hangings down.

and then of course, it’s the fact that he just leaves a mess in his wake. when he first moved things out of the living room it was a mess. I spent hours rearranging shit, packing up the rest of his shit that he left behind, and then cleaning up everything because I still have to live here. it was the same with the bedroom. and now it’s gonna be the same thing with the front room. I told him today that everything needs to be out by next weekend because I can’t do this every weekend. He asked what I meant by ‘this’ and explained that I was tired of having to clean up everything that got messed up. He told me simply “it’s not being destroyed. I’m just taking my things”. At the moment the entire room was in shambles, everything askew from him digging his things out and leaving my stuff lying in piles. It’s cleaned up now - save the pile of boxes and junk at the top of the stairs - but I told him I have to clean up the mess that’s left behind. He didn’t have an answer for that.

Honestly there’s really not a point to this. I’m just pissed, I’m annoyed, and I’m angry, and I’m sad. I’m just tired. And I wanted to vent. So if you stuck with me through this, I wanna thank you for listening. I appreciate being heard, because I haven’t been for so long. your time means a lot to me.

#abuse #emotional abuse #physical abuse #mental abuse #gaslighting #manipulation #breakup #ending a relationship #thoughts #rant

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chxinsxwed · 5 years

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Da Rules:

Hi, this is a bit lengthy - but first, thank you for checking out this post! It means a lot to me and I hope we can interact! <3

1. Themes might vary with this blog. I’m typically SFW, but keep in mind this is NEGADUCK. He’s not morally sound and will certainly not be nice to everyone who has the unfortunate opportunity to come across him. Be prepared for dark themes of that nature.

Things will be tagged! I’ll try my best, anyways. If you want something in particular tagged, please let me know. The format I use for tagging is, for example, tw: swearing.

I don’t have any triggers but I do ask you tag all of your NSFW content.

That said, I won’t do anything NSFW - gore is okay, though.

I’m of age.

2. I’m a little selective, so I might be a pretty picky when it comes to who I interact with. I’ll interact with anyone, including canon, AU, Crossover, and original characters - as long as they’re literate/write para.

If it’s a crossover, I have to know the fandom and be at least a little bit confident with it. This is so I’m able to work with you, our thread and have muse for it.

No godmodding or Mary-Sues, please.

This is bound to happen given Negaduck’s character, but this rule goes especially in fights. I will tread carefully in these and give partners fighting chances, so obviously I expect the same. i.e, don’t assume all attacks hit, keep dodging, etc; all that. Keep in mind Negs does not put up an easy fight, though.

Please don’t be offended if I don’t want to interact with you (and please don’t try to guilt me into doing so!).

As for following back, I usually take a week tops to do so - but if you’ve hit up my promo, I go through that eventually.

I’ve worked through a majority of Negs’ media, including his episodes, comics, and even small comics. That said, there are a couple I’ve missed (that are in another language) - so if I miss anything in reference to them, forgive me.

I haven’t completely finished Darkwing Duck, either, so as far as unrelated references ago, I might miss a few things.

3. Please don’t rush me for starters or responses.

I have a lot of blogs. Pretty much an understatement - so I’m pretty busy with stuff, and it’s all dependent on what muse I have. Motivation and life also exist.

Please note the mun deals with anxiety and depression - this might affect how frequently she roleplays.

Chances are, I’ve probably has seen that bit of interactivity and just haven’t gotten around to responding yet.

My roleplaying style being para/multi-para, I may take a while to respond. I hoard drafts like a dragon - it’s really just the motivation to write and ship those out.

Additionally, if I don’t end up responding to an ask or something, the case might just be I don’t have the muse for it, or I’m not interested in the thread. Apologies!

4. Shippings? Eeeeh, with Negaduck, I’m picky about them, depends on the muse and/or proposed relationship. Long story short: he’s an outright jerk so don’t expect much from him.

If I don’t happen to be interested, don’t force anything on my character.

I do not ship incestuous ships. Do NOT follow/interact if you do.

The ship has to have chemistry; I’m generally shipping trash, but if they don’t click, they don’t click, sorry.

This is a multi-ship blog, meaning there will be more than one ship without them conflicting with eachother.

If you want to ship and I already have a ship of your choosing going with a duplicate, please don’t hesitate to hmu! My ships aren’t exclusive and each character/relationship portrayal is unique to me!

Relationships are eternal until you deem otherwise.

5. Whilst I am of age, I’m not aiming for sexual content on this blog (and will not be dealing with fetishes). That stuff makes me uncomfortable, and I typically don’t recommend pulling it with my characters if you’re interacting with me. Nonetheless, should it arise, I will tag it appropriately.

6. About reblogs…

I am not a meme source, and reblogs clog up my activity. Please reblog any memes you find on this blog from their SOURCE. The exception to this rule is if there is no source; go ahead.

I don’t feel comfortable with Personals reblogging my IC posts, so please don’t do that.

A few times is fine, as it happens, but repeatedly breaking these rules will result in me soft blocking you.

I try to participate in reblog karma as much as I can, but always reblog from the source/a meme source.

If a post or ask is for you, you’re free to reblog it to save it though - but only if you’re an rp blog!

7. I’m a para / multi-para blog, novella if I’m adventurous and have time. Whilst I may roleplay crack threads with shorter responses, this does not apply to all threads I write. This means:

I write my replies as detailed as I can muster.

Short responses (such as one-liners) in more serious threads where I’ve written a decent deal can instantly kill my muse for that thread.

Whilst I’d prefer for partners to at least somewhat match my length, it’s entirely up to you - just try your best and make sure you give me enough to work with. ♡

If my muse happens to go nuts out of nowhere - like, overboard - don’t stress too much about matching them.

If para roleplays are not your forte at all, it’s not recommended you roleplay with me seriously. Anything else outside that is fine, though - we can still have fun outside of proper threads.

8. Threads typically happen naturally with me, but if you’re looking for interaction opportunities:

I’ll have a permanent starter call somewhere for you to hit up; honestly though, if you’re a mutual? Pls feel free to hit it up.

I reblogged a starter meme? Send something! If I’m interested, I’ll answer it!

If there’s a verse you’re interested in, please specify.

If you want to turn an ask into a thread, go ahead!

I may not roleplay with every starter I am given - I’ll do a ‘background check’ if you’re a new blog on the block. If I don’t feel your writing style/length matches mine, I might not respond. Apologies. ;__;

In that sense, I don’t recommend writing starters for me unless we’ve discussed something. I really don’t like to leave anyone hanging.

IMs are open to mutuals, if you want to do any in-depth plotting.

9. Guidelines on mains and relationships:

If we’re mutuals and we interact a lot, you’re welcome to ask me if I’d like to be your main!

Please don’t be offended if I deny, though; I typically want to pick those I trust to be my mains as well as people I can comfortably write with.

Not limited to them! I roleplay with duplicates galore so don’t be afraid to hit me up if you want to interact!

Pre-established relationships are a-okay in my book; if you have an idea for a relationship between our muses we can work towards, hit me up! I reblog those pre-established relationship memes every so often too. Romantic relationships link back to the shipping guidelines.

Also, friendship/family/rivalry relationships are EXTREMELY valid to me - Negaduck is generally a terrible person, but if you hmu, I’ll see what I can do.

10. If you have any issues, please let me know and hopefully we can resolve it!

Unlike the evil duck, Mun is actually super nice, so don’t be afraid to hit her up!

IM-ed me and I haven’t responded? Social anxiety is a jerk and it’s exhausting for me to communicate sometimes. Know that I’ve seen your message and will get around to it eventually!

Please leave me out of drama; I’m here to have a good time, as is everyone else, and it pains me to see people arguing.

11. It’s easier with a clean dash for me, so I’m more likely to follow people who:

Trim their posts.

Don’t spam reblog memes.

Have rules and about pages! I always read those before interacting or following!

12. On threads…

If you’re not interested in a thread anymore, and would like to drop it, please let me know! I’d feel terrible if we’re both not having fun with it or if partners feel overwhelmed with the amount of threads we have.

Honestly, unless I let you know, our threads have no expiry date - so no need to worry about me dropping them without telling you. I can just be quite slow sometimes.

13. Mun does not equal muse! Anything Negs might say does not reflect on how I think unless I explicitly say so. He’s a chainsaw crazy villain; mun is not.

14. The mun is TERRIBLE at breaking the ice. If she follows you, she’d like to interact - but she’s super nervous about approaching people.

15. These rules may be subject to change.

Please like this post if you’ve read the rules! You don’t have to, but it’s of personal reassurance to me if you have.

#|| rules.

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stephhannes · 3 years

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I Was a 23 Year Old Widow & Here’s Where I Went From There

a friend sent me a link to a refinery29 article today (I’m A 31-Year-Old Widow, & I Don’t Know Where To Go From Here) and it felt exactly like something i would have written three years ago, when i was in my first year of widowhood. it basically is something i’ve written three years ago. i remember all of those same feelings, am i doing this right? how do i navigate being hot and young but also a grief-stricken widow?

the most important lesson i’ve learned in the last three years is this: the world doesn’t revolve around me.

every time i start freaking out about the nuances of grieving i remind myself, the world doesn’t revolve around you, dummy. and nothing has been more freeing.

everything in my life revolves around my grief, but there is no one else around me that’s thinking about it as much as i am. so much of my anxiety was defined by if i felt like i was grieving appropriately, in a way that society would approve of- but society isn’t thinking about me and my grief. and if they are, who gives a shit? talk to me when your partner unexpectedly dies at the age of 23.

when i came back to social media after nathan died, i remember getting comments on photos like “oh, it’s so nice to see you smiling!” that made me so self-conscious. is it too soon to be smiling? is it ok to be having fun with my friends right now?

i returned to dating apps within a year of nathan’s death, and i kept it secret for a very long time. i didn’t want people to think i was moving on. i wasn’t moving on, i was lonely! i was afraid that people would see me on tinder and be like “oh, she’s not that sad i guess” i was that sad! that’s why i was reverting to the ol’ faithful coping mechanism of entertaining gentlemen callers!

as someone forced to live in my own grief, of course i was out here catastrophizing every situation possible. i stayed awake at night stressing over ok so when i do eventually date again: when do i tell him that i’m a widow? (literally just whenever it comes up in conversation) is it weird to talk about nathan all the time? (not really, is it actually any different than when someone talks about their ex? if anything, it should be less uncomfortable, my ‘ex’ is dead, there’s no threat there) do i take down the pictures of nathan before inviting someone to my house? (no, it’s my house).

in the piece i wrote 20 days after nathan died, this is what i was panicking about:

And I know that it’s only been a few weeks since Nathan died, but I feel the weight of the 21st century coming down on me already. Theoretically, he and I were so lucky to have found each other so early, not having to navigate our 20s with awkward dates and rifling through dating apps. But in reality, now that’s where I’m going to have to find myself again. I don’t know how to date someone that I haven’t already known for 10 years. When do I tell someone I’m a widow? How much is appropriate amount to mention my dead fiancé during a blind date? When is the appropriate time to update my Facebook relationship status to ‘single’? When am I supposed to take off my engagement ring and show my face on 6th street?

What’s an appropriate tinder bio?

“Hi, I’m Stephanie. I used to be engaged but now I’m not! Hit me up!”

How do I navigate a new relationship with someone when I know that they will never know me as well as Nathan did? I can spend all day talking about who I was in high school, I can explain with detail every moment of my collegiate years, but no one will truly know who I was during those times because they weren’t there.

and here’s the update on that, 3 years later:

as previously mentioned, i’ve had success just bringing it up whenever it happens to come up. i played around with immediately being like “hey i’m steph i’m a widow what’s poppin?” but i think it’s a little more palatable to lure someone in with my insufferable personality and then be like “oh btw im a widow lol”

i went through a phase where i would tell stories about my time in new york, but omit the fact that the reason i lived there was because of my fiance. or i’d tell stories about “an ex” without being like “well the ex is actually my dead fiance” but that felt weird, so i transitioned to just literally talking about nathan, my dead fiance, whenever i want to. and shockingly, it’s gone over pretty well. men are a lot more receptive to hearing about your ex that you’re still kinda in love with when your ex is dead.

my facebook relationship status is still not updated to single. but i did take it off my profile altogether after about two years.

i took off my engagement ring about 6 months after nathan died. it was a whole thing. i was tired of people seeing it and assuming i was engaged, and asking me about it and then being forced into being like “oh haha well i’m not engaged anymore” i showed my face on 6th street and hated it, not because of my status as a widow, because i’m 26.

i’m banned from tinder, but my bumble bio is “self made hundredaire / used to work on broadway / never eaten a grape before / very passionate about the monster mash and sparkling water” people seem to like it.

if i could go back in time and whisper to myself “shhh you sweet summer child it literally doesn’t matter” god, i would. i sucked in high school, thank fucking god no one knows what i was actually like then. i was unbelievably depressed in college, we don’t need to re-live that in detail. i’m literally so cool now, and that’s really all that matters. like, i’m fun and a boss babe and smart and hilarious and mysterious (but let’s not focus on the mystery just yet) so does it really matter if someone doesn’t immediately know the nuances of my 15 year old psyche?

+++

when talking about my relationship with nathan, i’ve always framed it as “i know it’s not the end all be all of relationships” and i still firmly believe in that. like the ann druyan quote- “we knew that we were the beneficiaries of chance. we found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.” we had a dope relationship, it ran its course, i learned a bunch of shit about myself and what i need moving forward, and now it’s time to move forward.

and in moving forward, i have to keep reminding myself that accepting relationships as they come into my life is a fun and exciting experience. it doesn’t have to be daunting and serious and terrifying. part of that has been just forcing myself to get out of my head, stop overthinking everything, and remember that the world does not revolve around me. there’s something about being able to just take what i need, leave what i don’t, for as long as it lasts and being fine with things when they eventually end.

it’s been kind of hilarious finally going through scenarios i used to agonize over in the middle of the night. everything that i imagined to be a huge deal has been actually, not a deal at all. i had a conversation with a friend a couple of months ago where i was like “i just want a toxic relationship to pass the time,” and she was like “are you saying that because that’s actually what you want, or are you saying that because you’re afraid of being genuinely intimate/vulnerable with someone that’s not nathan?” and i was like, ok first of all i didn’t come here to get dragged like that and secondly…yeah, maybe.

the vulnerability thing is still tough for me- very much not a fan of talking about my feelings without masking it with comedy. but every step i’ve made in that direction, i’ve been able to do without guilt or questioning myself.

the first time someone other than nathan slept in my bed, i was worried that i would end up upset- it was fine. i was like “oh, i forgot how nice it is to wake up not alone.”

when i found myself in a vaguely toxic relationship i realized “yeah ok, that’s definitely not what i want.” the last time that person left my house, my first thought was “i miss nathan.” and it wasn’t even necessarily nathan that i missed. i missed being around someone that made me feel like they idk…..cared about me as a person and like…..respected me.

i spent a lot of time seeking out people that i thought were similar to nathan, and then i realized that the qualities i was attracted to were just the bare minimum of human decency. the things that i loved the most about my relationship with nathan weren’t necessarily qualities that were exclusive to him (they were things he was very good at, but so are a lot of other people). his willingness to listen to me tell the same stories over and over, his patience with all of my anxiety, how much he loved just spending time around me, the way he valued and respected my opinions, his ability to remember very tiny details, our effortless rapport.

and at the same time, i’m recognizing strengths in other people that fill in where nathan had some weaknesses. the fact that none of my friends liked him, his inability to cope with my depression, all of the times he’d ask for forgiveness rather than permission, his unwillingness to accept criticism when i was upset with him, or the way he’d continue to push buttons i’d repeatedly asked him to leave alone.

+++

so maybe it’s the zoloft, or maybe it’s just growing up a little bit- but letting go of all of that anxiety has really allowed me to feel a lot lighter. it feels good to finally be present in all of my relationships, not concerned about how anything looks- rather, just concerning myself with shit that feels right. i’ve always been a pretty solid judge of character, and as soon as i stopped doubting myself, the quality of person that came into my life was immediately a lot better, weird. it’s almost like the only opinion that truly matters....is my own.

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jjkfire · 7 years

Text

Wrapped Around; pt.6

Jimin x Reader x Tae // College!AU // 11.8k words

Summary: Freshman year was a mess and sophomore year doesn’t seem to be looking too good either. You know boys like them are no good for you but maybe they’re just your kind of type

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

A/N: hur hur finally!!! I always feel horrible for making y’all wait for a month for each chapter haha. also, im running out of appropriate vmin gifs lmaooo

Previously…

Jimin silently stuffs a spoonful into his mouth and although he had no appetite, the mere thought of this being something you made is enough to push him to forcefully swallow it. He thinks perhaps if he ate enough of it, it could help fill the vague emptiness he felt in his chest but he knew that only one thing could do that and that was you.

“So, he went to the ball with this Mina girl?” Solji asks, her voice slightly fuzzy over the phone speaker.

You let out a low hum of agreement, sinking down onto your bed, the phone still pressed to your ear.

“Because she asked?”

“Yes,” You sigh, setting your phone next to your head after selecting the loudspeaker option on your screen.

"And you had a week to ask him to the ball but you didn’t?”

“Well, I mean… yeah… but whatever, that’s not my point,” You groan. “My point is that he slept with Mina.”

“And is that a surprise to you? You really can’t blame him can you?” She asks. “He probably waited for you to ask him out to the ball and when you didn’t, he assumed you weren’t interested and went for someone else who was.”

“But I am interested,” You grumble, running your hand over your face in frustration.

“Well, how would you expect him to know you’re interested in him if you never show it?” Solji questions. “He’s not a mind reader you know…”

“But we— he knows it, I’m sure he does.”

“Y/N, trust me when I say boys are daft sometimes.”

“Forget it,” You sigh, waving your arms in the air in defeat. “I’m over it, over him.”

“Sure,” She laughs and you can just imagine her rolling her eyes at you.

“I’m serious!” You frown. “This is all probably just a fun game to him. I don’t want a guy who isn’t able to keep it in his pants for like 5 seconds.”

“Won’t you look at this? Kettle calling the pot black,” She scoffs. “Do you need a reminder of the number of boys you burned through freshman year?”

“Shh, we do not speak of the cursed freshman year,” You scold but you find yourself laughing along with Solji by the time you end your sentence.

“Anyway, stop ignoring the poor boy. I’m tired of seeing all of his cryptic emo tweets about you on my timeline.”

“I’m not ignoring him,” You retort. “I’m just busy.”

“Doing what? Lounging around the house in your pyjamas?”

“Hey I’ll have you know that simply doing nothing is a privilege we lose every time the semester begins so, I’ll spend as much time lounging around without judgement, thank you.”

Idiot, Solji mumbles under her breath and you laugh along with her.

With time, the conversation switches focus and you listen about her talk about her winter break so far. As you hear her speak about her calm, drama-free holiday, you can’t help but agree with Solji, that it was you who had created all of this mess for yourself.

Just because you had shared a few intimate moments with Jimin, didn’t mean that he had to be exclusive with you because the truth was he didn’t owe you anything, not even an explanation which he so graciously offered. Honestly, you were just being a huge baby by ignoring him, refusing to deal with the feelings you had for him, dragging him and others down in your state of confusion. You end the call with Solji feeling much lighter about everything. Maybe you could salvage this winter break after all.

Jimin’s heart skips a beat when he hears you calling out for the boys come movie day on Monday. You throw your arms over the shoulders of both Hoseok and Taehyung before sending a blinding smile Jimin’s way.

“Well, well… look who finally decided to show up for once,” Taehyung glowers.

“Oh come on,” You groan. “I only missed one week.”

“So you’re not busy anymore?” Taehyung lifts his eyebrows at you, his tone so condescending you almost feel like slapping him across the face.

“Yup,” You answer with a warning glare before your lips curl up into a soft smile. “My aunt didn’t have any errands for me to run today.”

“Ahh, it’s good to have you back,” Hoseok smiles, slinging his arm across your shoulder, completely unaware of the silent conversation you were having with Taehyung.

Jimin stays quiet, watching the whole exchange cautiously. You smile warmly at him, as if the two of you hadn’t argued just a few days ago and he’s completely baffled. So, you suddenly weren’t mad anymore? Had Mina told you the truth about the night of the ball? That had to be it. You were practically seething the night he found you in his home but here you were joking around with all of them like nothing had happened. Jimin wasn’t complaining of course, he missed your playful jests, your adorable scowl.

The three of you prance around the adjoined arcade, playing a few rounds of assorted games. Many of which Jimin lost on purpose just so he could see you rub it in his face, a million-watt smile gracing your lips but there’s something that seems to be missing from your smile that he can’t quite pinpoint.

Everything seemed rather normal… well at least normal enough after all that’s happened. Although he notices that you’re keeping a notable distance, choosing instead to cling to Taehyung but hey, baby steps… at least you were here at all.

After spending a sizable amount on game tokens and snacks, the three of you finally pick a movie to watch, some action-comedy movie and as silly as it seems, Jimin was giddy at the thought of finally being able to sit next to you.

As usual, he takes his place beside you, the other boys sitting next to him on the opposite side. He spends most of the movie glancing at you rather than the screen, looking for a hint of a playful smirk that you would usually send his way but your eyes were practically glued to the screen the whole time. Perhaps the movie was just that good?

Jimin tries to pay attention to the battle happening on screen but his heart starts palpitating at the thought of finally being able to interlace his fingers with yours again. He felt like a twelve-year-old who had finally scored a date with the prettiest girl in school and he wonders if you knew you had that effect on him, how your presence alone was enough to render him into nothing but a nervous boy.

Halfway through the movie, Jimin spots your hand resting below the arm rest that divided the space between the both of you and a light smile graces his lips. Although you usually did place your hand there earlier towards the beginning the movie, at least it was there now and this was his chance.

His hand inches towards yours, his pinky brushing yours and suddenly he feels your hand jerk away, retreating towards the popcorn bucket instead. Jimin’s heart drops, the feeling of pain pinching at his chest and if the lights were switched on, you’d be able to see the undeniable sight of worry etched into his features. He glances at you, the bright flashes from the screen illuminates your face for a few brief moments, revealing an unreadable blank expression and he sighs, rubbing his hands down his thighs nervously.

For the rest of the movie, you place your hands on your lap, not wanting a repeat of the attempt and Jimin’s frown only grows deeper. So, he was wrong. You were still mad at him or not... and he’s not sure if this was better or worse because when you were angry at him a few days ago, at least that meant that you were upset with him, that the situation had bothered you. Now that you were smiling at him, as if you were unfazed by it all, did it mean that you no longer cared for him? That maybe you weren't mad at him at all... Maybe you secretly detested him. Jimin just needed to get you alone, corner you into answering him. He knows you hate being put on the spot but your mixed signals were literally driving him insane.

When the movie ended, Jimin had meant to ask if he could talk to you alone but as the four of you stand in the lobby of the theatre listening to Taehyung rant about the movie, you suddenly bolt the moment you see your bus arrive, frantically waving the boys goodbye as you shout your apologies for your sudden leave. Jimin only lets out a heavy sigh as he watches you disappear into the bus. It was almost as if you could sense the impending serious conversation he had been planning to have. He should have known something wasn’t right. Your smile seemed empty and you hadn’t actually uttered a direct sentence to just him all afternoon. Damn it. His heart aches, painfully so and he hates it. He hates you.

You jump onto the the bus, letting out a long exhale as you plop yourself down onto the nearest empty seat. Pretending Jimin had no effect on you was a lot more tiring than you thought it would’ve been. No matter how many times you’ve told yourself to let it go, that it was fine that he had slept with Mina, half of you was still unbelievably mad at him while the other half of you craved to be held in his arms. Pathetic, you scoffed. Why couldn’t you just make up your mind about him and stick to that decision?

God, you remember how you panicked when you felt his hand brush up against yours. You weren’t sure if it was deliberate or by accident so you tried to play it off by pretending like you wanted to grab some popcorn. You think you did a pretty good job of trying to hide your emotions but when you saw his constant glances while Taehyung was talking, you knew that Jimin knew something was off. Knowing Jimin, he was going to be straightforward and ask you point blank what exactly was happening between the both of you and truthfully you didn’t have an answer to that so rather than trying to figure it out with him, you took the coward’s way out.

Mina strolls over to your house as you shovel the snow out of the driveway, watching on as you curse each time you plunge the shovel into the layer of white that blanketed the cobblestone path. You notice her a few moments later as she climbs up to sit on the short wall that divided your houses and you finally put down the shovel to greet her with a smile.

The both of you indulge in small talk, about how the last few days went for each other and truly you feel a little guilty because you had been giving her the cold shoulder over something that wasn’t really her fault. She makes no mention of Jimin for the first solid 10 minutes and it surprises you because she usually opened her conversation with the mention of him but then just like clockwork, he comes up in one of her stories. Apparently, he had been avoiding her, refusing to reply to her texts and you shake your head knowing that this was classic Jimin. It was as if he was begging for you to hate him. Unbelievable that he’d give his childhood friend the exact same treatment. An A class asshole, he was.

“He’s a douche,” She grumbles and you nod your head, agreeing to the fact. “But I still like him,” She groans, head in her hands and you frown, stopping yourself short of saying me too.

Breaking two hearts at one time… you expect nothing less from Park Jimin to be honest.

She leaps off the wall, dusting the snow off her pants with a deep sigh before turning to you with a large smile on her face. She informs you of a last-minute party she had decided to hold in celebration of her parents both leaving yet again for another work trip, singing gleefully about the set-up she had managed to get done within such a short span of time. It’s obvious that she was throwing the party in a ploy to lure Jimin to her house and boy is she smart because say the word party and he would come running. You didn’t really want to go, especially with how you had left the theatre abruptly yesterday but the promise of alcohol and good music has you nodding your head yes… even if you weren’t too happy with the guest list.

At a quarter past 9, a few people have already begun to show up but what surprises Mina is Jimin strolling in this early into the night, alone too. He had given a rather vague answer of we’ll see over text so she wasn’t even sure he was going to show up at all but she had mentioned that you were going to be there too in the following text and although there was no reply to that, she should’ve guessed that it was all she needed to say to have him come running.

“Hey, Mina,” He greets, handing her a bottle of liquor.

“Hey stranger,” She smiles, placing the bottle down on the counter.

He laughs off the greeting awkwardly, grabbing himself a beer bottle from the fridge.

“I’ve got a question to ask,” Jimin grunts, having trouble with the bottle opener.

“Shoot,” She smirks. Mina has a feeling she knew just what he was going to ask. After all, she knew just why he had been ignoring her.

“Why did you tell Y/N about us sleeping together—” He whispers the last two words, his two hands brought up to mimic quotation marks. “—when I specifically asked you not to?”

“About that,” She laughs. “I didn’t tell her personally as per se. Her cousin asked about my hickey so I told him and she just happened to be listening to our conversation,” She licks her lips, pouring herself a drink. “I kept my promise, I didn’t tell her.”

"Mina,” He groans. “Telling the story while she is in the vicinity isn’t exactly what I’d consider keeping your promise.”

She simply shrugs her shoulders, unbothered, choosing instead to move into the living room where the other guests were gathered.

“Fix this,” Jimin demands with a stern grip on her shoulder.

“How do you suggest I do that?” She questions, whipping around to lift her eyebrows at him. “It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?”

Jimin stares back in confusion. He doesn’t recognise the girl standing before him at all. Her words seemed to drip with poison and envy, almost malicious, nothing like the sweet girl he grew up with.

“Look, I don’t know what’s gotten into you,” He starts. “But just—”

“Jimin!” Taehyung shouts as he climbs onto the boy’s back, clinging onto him like a koala and Jimin lets out a groan. Tae always had horrible timing. As he struggles to shrug Tae off his back, Hoseok snags the bottle out of Jimin’s grasp, downing most of the drink before he places it back into his hand.

Mina greets everyone, smiling as she sees you striding into her home, your cousin by your side, the sight reminiscent of that of the night of the ball. You pull her into a hug before both you and your cousin make your way to the drinks table, your insides bubbling with excitement as the atmosphere of the party hits you. You fill your red solo cup with a multitude of assorted liquors, a mistake, you know, but you just wanted to reach that alcohol high as soon as possible.

Jimin watches you carefully, unsure of what mood you were in today. Were you going to be furious with him like you were a few days ago? Or maybe just like yesterday, you were going to be surprisingly warm to him, with a side of mild confusion of course because nothing was ever straightforward with you.

It seems like you choose the latter when you sit down next to him, flashing him a curt smile before joining in on the conversation, shifting a little further up the couch to put some distance between you and him. Jimin silently thanks Taehyung who hands him a drink because lord knows he needed one if he was going to stay sane tonight. Between your confusing behaviour and Mina’s annoying one, he’s surprised he hasn’t screamed out in frustration yet. Why couldn’t Mina just clear things up for him and why couldn’t you just be open with how exactly you were feeling? Women, he sighs. They simply drove him mad.

Taehyung sits next to you, giving you a belated hug before encouraging you to down your drink with him. You meant to refuse the request but he flashes you that puppy dog smile and you find yourself throwing back your cup in one huge gulp. The alcohol stings your throat and you scrunch your face at the burning feeling which earns a laugh from Taehyung. Weak, he teases and you shove him away lightly with a frown on your face.

The drink had just about settled in your stomach when Hoseok comes barging in with shot glasses lined up. You refuse, obviously, but he brings up the topic of tradition and friendship and you groan, reluctantly agreeing to what is basically a one-way ticket to spending the night hugging a toilet bowl.

You’re not sure how Hoseok had managed to line up over 10 shots that quick but here the 4 of you were having 3 small glasses to each person. Your stomach churns when you lift up the first glass and as you chant the classic line before throwing back the drink, you can’t help but think back to how this very moment is usually the last memory you have of every crazy night you’ve ever had. If all goes to plan, throwing back this shot might very well be the last thing you remember tonight as well, which for the first time, might be a good thing.

Two shots in, you try hiding the last one underneath the coffee table but while doing so, Hoseok catches you and he sends you a disapproving look before he makes you drink two extra shots as a penalty. You beg Hoseok, asking him to let you off the hook but he starts pouring a third, warning you that you’d have to take another if you don’t start drinking. Letting out a groan, you twist the glass in your hand making a face as you bring it up to your lips. Taehyung, ever the gentleman starts pouring himself a shot to accompany you on carrying out your penalty. Well, if you were going down, at least you weren’t going down alone.

By the time you’re done, you don’t even dare to stand up because you’re sure your feet will just buckle underneath you. You lay back into the couch, your head nodding along to the music blaring over the speakers while your arms hung off the shoulders of both the boys seated on either side of you.

The next two hours are a blur in your mind. You find yourself enjoying the music and cheering on the boys as they - in your opinion - have one too many drinks and soon enough everyone on the couch is at your level… except for your cousin. Your cousin is having the time of his life, collecting a year’s worth of photos to blackmail you with, chuckling with each click of the camera. You shout for Hoseok to join the photo session but he’s nowhere to be found, probably in some corner of the house, shoving his tongue down the throat of that cute girl he liked. The boys on either side of you were just as drunk as you though and they comply to every photo request. Usually, you’ve had enough after one or two photos but tonight, you were way too gone to object, the three of you smiling as you all pose for yet another photo, as per your cousin’s instruction. In your state, you don’t notice the way Taehyung’s hand sits extremely low on your hips, neither do you notice the fact that Jimin has kissed you on your cheek close to 5 times now, each time whispering something a little too inappropriate in your ear when he pulls away.

An ungodly amount of empty glasses lay upon the coffee table top, the sight an indication of how the three of you have managed to hit the sweet spot of being drunk. Each one of you had on the same smile, your heads lightheaded but your minds calm. Sober enough to remember tomorrow when reminded of significant events of the night before but drunk enough to be unable to tell when exactly the three of you had excused yourselves to the toilet to take an obscene amount of selfies on Taehyung’s phone.

“I’m tired,” Taehyung pouts.

“Aw baby, c'mere,” You coo, patting your thigh. Taehyung smiles delightedly before laying down, his head comfortably placed on your lap. He grabs your hand and places it in his hair, encouraging you to play with his soft locks and you do, a light smile gracing your lips as your fingers grazed his scalp in a quiet rhythm.

Jimin frowns at the mention of your pet name for Taehyung. He wanted to be called baby too. In the most innocent and childish way, he hates Taehyung. He hates how he knew all these details about you. He hates how you treat Taehyung with such endearment while he himself only got the cold shoulder or this fake warmth that you’ve recently begin to show him. Jimin wants you to smile at him genuinely or run your fingers through his hair. In other words, he wanted to be Taehyung. Jealousy nips at his insides and he finds himself cursing his best friend in his head. In his slight rage, Jimin reaches for Taehyung’s shoulders, lightly shoving him in an attempt to get him off your lap. He has had one too many shots though so all that’s really happening is his hand lightly gliding off Taehyung’s shoulders, his palm grasping nothing but air. Even so, Taehyung whines swatting away Jimin’s hand that hovered above him.

“Babe, stop doing that,” You frown, removing your hand from Taehyung’s hair to pull away Jimin’s hand.

Babe. Hmm, he likes the sound of that.

“Okay, babe,” He smirks, interlacing your fingers with his, an absolutely stupid smile on his face. He returns to his previous position his head resting against your shoulder, a sweet sigh escaping his lips as his thumb glides over yours in a soothingly repeated fashion. With a whine, Taehyung tugs your other hand prompting you to go back to stroking his hair and you oblige. You shut your eyes, tilting your head until your cheek rested against Jimin’s soft hair.

Your cousin watches all of this, feeling like he was halfway between vomiting at how cringey this all was and laughing because he’s never seen you this affectionate before. He takes at least another dozen photos, knowing that this was a moment you’d love to forget but he will never ever let you live this down. In fact, he would never let you forget this whole night. Might even make a slideshow out of all the pictures as a special birthday surprise for you. You’ll love it for sure.

As it almost approaches midnight, the party has seemed to calm down a fair bit and you feel yourself drifting off to sleep. You shift uncomfortably, trying not to wake either of the boys but you’re unsuccessful. Jimin awakes from his short nap and gives your hand a short squeeze before nuzzling against your neck, letting out a hum of delight.

“I like you when you’re wasted,” Jimin yawns. “You’re a lot nicer.”

“So you hate me when I’m sober?”

“A little,” He hums. “But I hate you a lot when you ignore me,” He pouts, his sentence slightly slurred due to the alcohol that’s coursing through his veins.

“I have never ignored you,” You answer, feigning surprise.

“Tell that to all the messages I’ve sent to you that went unanswered,” He points accusingly in his drunken stupor, a single finger swaying in the air.

“I was busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Stuff.”

“You’re still angry at me,” He groans, noticing the blank expression you often wear when you’re trying to hide your emotions.

“I’m not.”

“You are and you won’t let me explain myself,” He whines, lifting his head to look at you but your eyes don’t meet, your gaze completely fixed on Taehyung’s head.

“I’m not,” You sigh. “I don’t want to hear an explanation because I just really don’t care.”

“So… you hate me?”

“What? I don’t,” You laugh. That was lie. You did hate him. “I said I just—”

“Then, kiss me.”

“What?” You question, your mouth going slightly dry at the way Jimin was staring at you.

“Kiss me,” He repeats.

“Why?”

“To prove you don’t hate me.”

“I’m not kissing you,” You frown. “I don’t hate you and I don’t know where—”

“If you don’t care and you don’t hate me, kiss me.”

“No.”

“So, you do hate me… and you do care about what happ—”

There he goes again, sounding like a broken recorder. You put a finger to his lips, interrupting his sentence.

“If I kiss you, will you shut up?” You ask, annoyed with his constant badgering that did nothing to help with the throbbing sensation you felt in your head.

“Definitely,” He answers, his eyes wide with anticipation.

“Great,” You smile, turning your head fully to face him. Your lips are a hair’s breadth away and Jimin could feel his heart start to pound. Was it the alcohol or was it just you? He wasn’t sure. He wills himself to sit up straight, to sober up because shit, you were about to put your damn lips on his and he wants to be able to fully remember this tomorrow.

Except, he never feels them.

“Y/N,” Mina calls, tugging you off the couch roughly and instead of lips touching lips, your forehead bumps against Jimin’s harshly, a groan of pain leaving your throat as you rub the aching spot. Taehyung who has tumbled onto the floor, lets out a yelp of pain before he pulls himself back onto the couch, settling his head down in Jimin’s lap in the absence of yours.

You stumble into Mina when she pulls you forward again and she holds you up, before dragging you away, up the stairs and into her room.

Jimin sits on the couch feeling 1 part confused and 3 parts frustrated because you were so close to kissing him just seconds ago and then you were gone, being whisked away by Mina. What was with everyone and their shitty timing tonight? Your cousin who had been recording everything was on the floor, laughing like a madman and he wonders if a night out with you guys on a regular night during the semester was like this because if it was, he was going to get started on his request to transfer.

Mina guides you to her bed before she shuts the door with a frustrated groan, a look of pure disappointment on her face.

“You shouldn’t have drank so much,” She sighs.

“Blame Hoseok!” You exclaim as you laid down on her bed, your legs dangling off the edge.

“You were this close to kissing Jimin,” She glowers, her hand in front of your face, her thumb and index finger almost touching. “This close!”

“He asked me to!”

“And if he asked you to eat a pile of shit would you have done that too?”

“No… but—”

“You know how I feel about him,” She frowns.

You did. God, you’re a horrible human being but Park Jimin is the devil reincarnated and he tempted you at every turn.

“Sorry,” You mumble.

“You ruin everything,” She groans, kicking at the miscellaneous clothing on her floor.

A pang of pain runs through your chest and you stay silent, your anxiety beginning to claw at your throat.

“I didn’t sleep with him,” She exhales out of a sudden and you perk up, confused. “Because I wasn’t ready,” She quickly adds.

“That’s… that's—” You leave your sentence hanging, unsure what an appropriate response to a sentence like that sounds like so you shut your mouth, swinging your legs in silence.

“And he’s mad at me now because of that whole night and it’s all because of you,” She huffs, fully emphasising her last word.

There’s a second of silence, almost as if she was waiting for you to ask what exactly you had to do with all of this but you know better than to question her because Mina is seething at the moment and she looks absolutely terrifying.

“So, just do me a favour and stop getting in my way,” She grumbles, as if your existence in itself was a burden to her.

“Sorry,” You mumble again. Maybe you should’ve fought her, told her that she was getting in your way too but you were tired and you just wanted all of this damn drama to be over with. You wanted to go back to your first week here, the week where you hid from everyone… Everything had been much simpler then because no Jimin equaled to no problem.

Honestly, why was Mina here, getting mad at you when Jimin was just at fault, if not, even more so? He was playing the both of you, leaving both of you sad and confused but you know telling her that would get her even more riled up and if what she had said to you earlier was any indication of what she’s like when she’s truly angry, you didn’t really want to provoke her any further. She was simply too blind to see the truth.

With just a few words, it was as if the party had died and everything seemed to have dulled to grey. The elation that came with the alcohol was now replaced with a solemn feeling, one that seemed to swallow you whole. Mina had stormed out of the room after spitting out her final line and you laid on her bed, trying to collect your thoughts. With a loud exhale, you push yourself off the bed, and make your way towards the stairs, ready to go home and grab some much-needed shut eye.

When you find yourself in the living room, you see Mina talking to an obviously disinterested Jimin and you laugh to yourself. The poor girl was so in love with him and it seemed like he barely cared for her. You tap your cousin on the shoulder, pointing towards the door to signal that you were ready to go home and he simply nods, already having in mind just the conversation Mina just had with you.

“Babe, what about my kiss?” Jimin pouts with his head tilted to the side when he notices you saying your goodbyes.

Mina sends you a warning glare and you don’t know why but it makes you bubble with anger. You had planned to stay silent but who was she to threaten you like that? In that moment, you thank Hoseok for all the shots he had fed you throughout the night for you’d never let thoughts like these cross your mind but with a little bit of liquid courage, you feel a surge of confidence course through your body. A pinch of rebellion never killed anyone, right?

You smile sweetly at Mina and the look she gives you sends shivers down your spine but you’re turning towards Jimin, your mouth already moving.

“Sorry, babe. The host says you’re completely off limits,” You frown. “I’ve been told to stop getting in the way of things… to stop getting in between the both of you sweet, sweet lovers,” You sigh, a condescending smile on your lips.

You know you probably shouldn’t have said that but you were feeling rather spiteful especially after having had the time to fully digest everything Mina had said to you. Shame, you had really liked her before she revealed her true colours. If she thinks you ruin everything, then hell, you were going to make it your mission to.

“What the fuck?” Jimin growls, an immeasurable amount of anger behind his words. He turns to Mina, his eyebrows furrowed, jaw taut and fists clenched. Maybe it’s the alcohol that has him feeling this way because you’ve never seen him this angry before. You tug at your cousin’s sleeve, wanting to be far, far away before you have to witness a shouting match between the two of them and your cousin obliges, quickly ushering you towards the front door.

“Honestly Mina, what’s wrong with you?”

“She’s fucking making shit up, I didn’t say anything like that!” She exclaims, a crowd beginning to gather around them.

“No, I’ve had enough,” He shakes his head. “The last time you told me you didn’t say anything, you said exactly what I told you not to and who are you to—”

You don’t hear the rest of his sentence, your cousin promptly shutting the front door behind the both of you.

“Holy shit, aren’t you guys a dramatic bunch,” Your cousin exhales, guiding you down Mina’s driveway.

“I was just having fun,” You shrug.

“Hell yeah, you were,” He laughs, as he opens the front door to his house. “Just wait until tomorrow when I show you all the wonderful photos I’ve taken of this lovely night.”

You nod, fully aware that he probably has one too many embarrassing photos of you now but really how bad could they be? All you know is that you’re drunk, a little sad and unbelievably tired. All you wanted right now was to curl up into your bed and sleep. The best thing about being this wasted was that you didn’t have time to stop and recount the events of the night because the moment your head hits the pillow, you’re already falling deep into sleep.

You wake up with an absolute killer headache and a heavy sense of regret. Unfortunately, unlike most nights, you remember most of this one. Goddamn it, the one time you wanted to have no memory of the previous night, your brain decides to work against you.

The final sentence you had uttered before leaving Mina’s house still tastes bitter on your tongue but that is one thing you do not regret from the night before. You’ve never met someone who was so manipulative, showing you one side when needed and showing you another when things weren’t going her way. To think you felt bad for her, felt guilty for pushing her away. You shake your head in disappointment. Perhaps your subconscious knew better.

At breakfast, you get a full recap of the night before, completely against your will of course. Your cousin shows you photo after photo, each one more embarrassing than the next but at least you were having fun? The finale is of course the video of you with Taehyung on your lap and your face mere centimetres away from Jimin’s. You cringe while watching it and break out into laughter when you see the look on Jimin’s face as Mina drags you away.

“Why did you have to go and piss off the only person that throws a decent party in this stinking town?” Your cousin frowns.

“Look, she definitely had bitch flakes for breakfast yesterday because the girl was downright nasty last night,” You huff. “I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Guess we’ll just have to raid my mum’s alcohol cabinet to get drunk,” He sighs.

“I’m sorry I ruined the remainder of your winter break,” You laugh, patting him on the head.

“Oh, don’t worry, all I have to do is look at this picture and it makes me feel all better,” Your cousin smiles, turning his phone to show it to you.

There’s a gasp and then a shriek that tears through the house.

“Delete that now!!!”

Your cousin is up on his feet, laughing wildly as he tries to escape from your killer grasp.

“It’s really one of my favourite pictures of you,” He chuckles, ducking down to dodge the arm that you swing at him. “You look like such a sophisticated lady in it, don’t you think?”

“No!” You scream. “If you ever post that picture, trust that I’ll kill you with my bare hands,” You seethe.

It’s a picture you would later print to keep in a scrapbook hidden far, far away. One to remember your horrid teenage years by.

It’s really not too bad of a photo. There’s three of you in it; yourself, Taehyung and Jimin, the drunk triplets. You’re sat in the middle of course, with Taehyung and Jimin on either side of you, which sounds normal except they’re both kissing you on the cheek and have one hand each on your breasts while you have two middle fingers raised with a look of fake shock on your face. Thank god movie day is cancelled today because you can’t even think about seeing the both of them before blushing bright red.

You finally get your cousin in a headlock, forcing him to delete the picture in front of you and he pretends to be upset at the loss of a great photo. He’s laughing internally at your proud look of success. You truly underestimated him. Did you take him for an amateur? Of course he had multiple copies of this very photo, all stored away for a day in which it would come in handy.

Ding!

[10:07] Jimin: nerd

[10:07] Jimin: the season finale is out…

For a second the world stands still and you release your cousin from your hold. You’ve been waiting for the release of the finale for a whole week now. Wasn’t it supposed to be awkward between the both of you after last night? No, none of that matters not when it comes to the TV series that is basically the foundation on which your friendship with Jimin stands on.

[10:08] You: crap!!!!

[10:08] You: i’m not ready

[10:08] You: wait have you watched it already?

Watched it already? Without you? Never.

[10:09] Jimin: nah not yet

A sudden realisation dawns on you and you let out a small cry.

[10:09] You: fuck my netflix subscription expired

Holy shit. For once the universe was working in his favour. He had made just the right purchase last month.

[10:09] Jimin: come over then

[10:09] Jimin: you have 10 minutes

You slip into your winter coat, putting on your boots in a hurry. Your cousin gives you a quizzical look and with the mention of the TV show and Jimin’s name, he lets out an exasperated groan.

“Have fun talking about the whole Mina incident after you finish the episode!” He shouts but you slam the door shut, pretending that you didn’t hear a single word.

[10:10] You: bitch give me 15

[10:10] You: i’m legit running rn

Jimin smiles, getting off his bed to put his plan into work.

[10:10] Jimin: 9 minutes

[10:10] Jimin: tick tock, tick tock

You arrive at Jimin’s house almost 20 minutes after his last text, horribly off schedule, you know but really, you’ve never ran so hard in your life. You hope that he hasn’t started without you and if he did, you would force him to start from the beginning anyway.

Jimin hears you running up the stairs and he quickly pulls the blanket over him, placing his laptop gingerly on his lap.

“You’re late,” He exhales, giving you a disappointed look when he sees you pop your head into his room.

“I’m so sorry,” You apologise, shrugging your coat off to hang it up. “It’s snowing a shit ton outside and—” An awkward shiver runs through you and you rub your hands down the side of your arms. “—fuck it’s cold in here,” You mumble before diving under Jimin’s blanket.

The moment you join Jimin in his bed, he hits play and he watches in delight as your face lights up the moment you hear the words previously on…

As the hour-long finale plays, you slowly inch closer towards Jimin, searching for more of his warmth, his thick blanket doing nothing to stop the chilly air that was pinching at your skin.

“Why is it so cold?” You murmur, mostly to yourself but Jimin hears you loud and clear.

“Yeah, the heating’s been a little cranky lately, sorry,” He answers, slipping his arm under you to pull you closer.

A complete and utter lie.

Jimin had fiddled with the thermostat before you came, putting the heater onto its lowest setting just so you would have to scoot closer to him. It’s a genius plan, he thinks and one that’s obviously working since you were practically laying in his arms at the moment.

You’re so engrossed in the show that you don’t really notice how you were basically cuddling with Jimin currently. Perhaps you don’t realise it simply because it was so normal for you to be in this position with him. Either way, you’re happy because you’re warm and Jimin’s happy because you’re- in his opinion -right where you’re supposed to be. It’s a win-win situation really.

The episode had started off with a thrilling chase, the plot developing slowly as it went on and with 10 minutes left, you don’t think there’s much that can happen but it takes a dark turn, leaving you stunned as you watch characters whom you thought have main roles, start to drop like flies. A knife to the heart, a bullet to the head, each kill hurting more than the one before. You wince away in horror every time and there’s an accompanying squeeze to your side, a telltale sign that Jimin too was literally shitting bricks at the moment. At the end of the show, you’re left speechless as the closing shot shows a room full of dead people, all characters you have come to love.

You turn to Jimin to see a matching stunned expression and he utters three words,

“Feel good movie?”

You’re nodding your head so fast that he giggles as he goes through a selection of movies. He makes his way down the list of rom-coms and stops at the one he knows to be your favourite. You smile at him, as if to say good job, and he only replies with an annoyed huff. A fake one of course. He secretly loved that movie too.

You barely get through 20 minutes of the movie before you find it hard to keep your eyes open. The activities from last night catching up to you, calling for you to shut your eyes. After 10 minutes of nodding off and waking up, you finally give in, choosing instead to curl up and go to sleep.

Jimin only notices some time after that you’ve fallen asleep. Your signature murmuring notifying him that you’ve drifted off to catch some shut eye. He shuts his laptop and sets it aside, shifting quietly so that he was now facing you. You let out a groan, squirming about in his hold and Jimin holds his breath, hoping that he hadn’t woken you up. You simply settle against his body, draping your arm across his middle while your leg wrapped around him, pulling him closer to you.

He felt like he was in a dream. You being this close, tugging him towards you? Definitely had to be one especially with everything that has been happening between the both of you, last night being the obvious highlight of the whole disaster of a situation. Jimin had stood there arguing with Mina, the girl he would have given everything to had she asked him 5 years ago. She seemed so different standing in front of him, unrecognisable almost. Perhaps like she said, he had changed or maybe he was finally seeing her for who she truly was now that he was no longer under her spell. Taehyung and Hoseok always did say she was a little scary, that despite her bubbly personality, it seemed as if every move she made was calculated but Jimin had always dismissed that, unable to see anything past that teasing smile she always flashed him… until now.

Jimin tries to make sense of everything that has happened so far and he wonders how one innocent ‘yes, i’ll go to the ball with you’ had led to all of this mess. It’s all a little too much for him to process and all he truly wants is to enjoy this very moment of you laying in his bed, in his arms, all by your own will. Just the feeling of your warmth is enough to make him smile and he pulls you just an inch closer, tucking your head under his chin before he too shuts his eyes to nod off to sleep.

Jimin stirs from his sleep about an hour later, shivering wildly and he curses himself for turning down the heater so low. He dismisses that thought when he feels your breath against his neck. It was worth it. He’d bear the few hours of cold again if it meant seeing you in his arms.

Jimin lets out a light sigh before he moves downwards, wriggling slowly until he was face to face with you, pulling back ever so slightly to look at your calm features. It’s risky, he knows, but he can’t help himself and before he can think twice, he’s leaning in to place a light kiss on your forehead. He backs away quickly, hoping that you hadn’t felt that. You remain unmoving, your breathing still at the same pace and he lets out a sigh of relief. With a smile, he swoops down to place another kiss at the space between your eyebrows, letting that one linger for just a fraction longer before he moves to the tip of your nose.

Jimin’s lips had barely left your nose when he notices your beady eyes staring back at him. He backs away slowly, truly hoping that you would somehow shut your eyes and go back to sleep but he knows he’s been caught. Damn.

“What are you doing?”

“Sorry,” Jimin mumbles, his head hanging low.

“I didn’t ask you to apologise,” You laugh. “I asked you what you were doing.”

“Kissing… kissing your nose,” He answers, his cheek beginning to glow with the slightest shade of pink.

You let out a short hum and Jimin is left slightly confused. He had fully expected you to have been hitting him or running out the door by now but you’re still here, completely relaxed in his hold, wearing a smile of mischief.

“What were you going to do next if I hadn’t woken up?”

“Nothing,” He answers, his voice quivering slightly at the way you seem to be staring darkly at him.

“You sure about that?” You question, a smirk playing at your lips.

Of course he wanted to go for your lips next but he had drawn the line there. That would have been borderline creepy, wouldn’t it?

“I’m sure,” He replies, this time his voice is strong, completely certain of what he was saying.

You shimmy your way closer to him, your nose bumping his and he could feel your breath on his lips as you spoke.

“Really?” You ask. “Pretty sure you were begging to kiss these lips last night.”

He shouldn’t… not when the both of you haven’t cleared things up yet but your lips were practically brushing against his as you whispered those words and he was just a man. A weak, weak man.

A whimper leaves his lips as he holds on to his last strand of self-control. Your eyes flutter shut and he gives in, surging forward to capture your lips between his own, completely entranced with the taste of you. Warmth blooms in his chest as your hands come up to grip the side of his face, his own hands sliding down to hold you delicately, pressing you as close to him as possible.

You had woken up a few minutes before Jimin, the cold cutting into your bones making it almost impossible for you to stay asleep. You keep your eyes shut, basking in the little warmth that radiated off Jimin, melting at the way he seemed to fit perfectly against you.

The first kiss on your forehead had taken you off guard but you try your best to pretend you were asleep, putting all your energy into making sure your smile didn’t show. The subsequent kisses cause a fluttering that feeling in the pit of your stomach and it was getting harder to maintain a blank, relaxed face. He moves further down your face, towards your lips and when his lips grazes the tip of your nose, you open your eyes to look at him, taking it as your chance to watch a flustered Jimin when he comes to realise that you’re awake.

You egg him on, feeling him tense beside you as you move closer and closer to him, your lips almost on his. The finale aside, you were a woman on a mission. When you had woken up in the morning and recounted the events of last night, you had made a decision. Though Mina’s belated confession made you smile a little, it didn’t change the fact that Jimin had intended to sleep with her that night and that if she was willing, it would’ve happened. You had thought it all out on your trek to Jimin’s house, planning to use his very own moves and words against him. A personal vendetta of yours, to see Jimin get all worked up over the things he said to all the girls he wanted to fuck.

You were going to get him to play a rom com, hold his hand and kiss him at the crux of the movie. Then, you were going to have him moan and beg underneath you and for the finale, leave him alone and broken in his bed. Although, you have a feeling the last part wouldn’t work. You simply didn’t have enough power over him to make him feel that way. In any case, all of this was for you, for you to finally rid yourself of the player that was Park Jimin.

As much as you liked to believe there was something more going on between you and him, you realised that all of this, all of your feelings for him stemmed from that one night you gave into lust. That’s all it was between you and him, a manifestation of lust and you knew the only way to get rid of it was to get him out of your system. One more time, you tell yourself. It wasn’t going to be hard, you knew that. After all, you were giving Jimin exactly what he wanted. One more time with him and the both of you will go back to being former quiz partners and perhaps even just strangers. Perhaps it was a good thing that you had fallen asleep. It would have been a true shame if you had allowed Jimin to ruin what was your favourite movie of all time.

Jimin pulls away from the kiss momentarily to back himself up against the headboard, his hands tugging you along, your legs now on either side of him and he watches on in awe as you made yourself comfortable in his lap. If cuddling with you felt like a dream then having you straddle him and kiss him senseless felt like heaven. He takes his time with you, moving his lips languidly, wishing to drag this out for as long as you would allow him to.

You break away from the kiss to mark his neck, leaving petals of blue and purple on his soft skin. It’s so hard for Jimin to think clearly when he feels your ass grinding against his cock but his mind clears up just enough for him to remember that there’s still so much he needed to say to you.

“N-nerd,” He stutters, he intends to finish his sentence but you’re biting that spot behind his ear that has him writhing under you. His hands slip under your shirt, roaming your back before gripping your waist with such force, as if he was afraid you were suddenly going to leave.

Your hands tug at the hem of his shirt and he holds your wrists to stop you. Once you get his shirt off and he tears yours away, he knows his mind will no longer have the power to construct full sentences.

“Babe,” He whimpers. “We— fuck—” A roll of your hips causes his words to become mangled moans. “Fuck, okay,” He breathes, barely able to concentrate. “We need to t-talk first before—”

You press your lips against his, cutting off his sentence and he responds with a whine. You were really making this difficult for him.

“We can do that later,” You mumble. “I need you right now,” You whine.

Need. You needed him. Not want but need. He lets that sentence ring in his head one more time before he loses himself completely to your touch, your kiss.

Jimin shoves your hand away, opting to pull his shirt off to speed things up and in that time, you remove yours too. He marvels at your body, his nimble fingers unbuckling your bra in a split second and a guttural moan leaves his lips the moment your breasts come into view. His hands explore every single inch of your body, memorising each curve and dip while your hands tug at his locks, urging him to do something, anything.

All the pictures, all the events, everything that you and Jimin are plays in the back of your mind, warning you of what you are so adamant on destroying but you can’t find it in yourself to stop. Not even the horrifyingly embarrassing pictures from last night can prompt you to stop rolling your hips against him. He was extremely intoxicating, his signature smirk, his scent, all things that had you wanting more… even if it meant you were digging yourself deeper into a hole of despair. As you sat on him, his aching member pressing against your centre, you come to a realisation that you had horribly miscalculated just how much he affected you and that your grand plan was falling apart with every second. Regret. The emotion fills every crevice of your body but the heat pooling in the pit of your stomach makes it easy to forget it all, to simply stop thinking for a second and bask in the way Jimin was staring at you, his breaths already shallow.

“Baby, fuck, you need to stop that,” He groans. “My mum will be back soon.”

Damn, you loved the way the word baby rolled off his lips. Even if he called numerous girls by the same name, it still made you weak in the knees. You ignore his pleads, continuing your ministrations, watching as Jimin struggles to hold on to his sanity.

“We can be quick, can’t we?” You ask. “I bet I can have you coming in your pants before she gets here.”

Fuck. Jimin’s mind spins at the words that are falling from your lips and all he wants is to hear you say more, speak with more confidence about all the things you wanted to do to him. He can’t bring himself to say anything, his mind only able to prompt him to grab your hand and guide it towards his member that was growing achingly hard.

A light laugh bubbles from your lips as you saddle down further his thighs, your hand tugging down his sweatpants to reveal his member pressed against his boxers, a dark spot forming at where his tip was, pre-cum already leaking through. You palm him slowly through the thin sheet of cloth, the whines that escape his lips causing a pleasurable twist in the pit of your stomach and it takes everything in you to stop yourself from ripping his boxers right off.

“Babe, please,” He begs. “No teasing. I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” He whines.

You silence the rest of his protests with a kiss, letting your tongues dance together, a ton of unsaid words swallowed between the both of you. Your hand slips into his boxers, pumping him once, twice and Jimin detaches his lips from yours, his head rolling back to hit the headboard, rapid breathy whines falling from his lips.

You tug his boxers just enough to let his erection spring free, revealing his cock that made your mouth water, his tip red and angry. You build him closer to his release, your hand spreading his pre-cum down his shaft, gripping with just the right pressure before twisting your wrist to come up to his head, your fingers teasing at his slit. His head now buried in your neck as he tried to muffle his moans with kisses that he left on your supple skin.

Jimin’s almost there, your dirty whispers bringing him closer and closer to his high. Just a few more times and you’d have him blowing his load. His chest rises and falls rapidly, his hips thrusting upwards into your hand to chase his release.

A sharp ring sounds from your back pocket, slowly falling into the melodious tone you recognise as the one you had set as your aunt’s ringtone. Your hand stops dead in its track and Jimin continues thrusting his hip into your hand to urge you to keep going but you let your hand fall limp.

“Don’t,” He whines when he sees you reach for your back pocket. “Don’t answer that. Baby, I’m so close, please,” He begs.

You tilt you head to your side, flashing him a polite smile before pressing your phone to your ear.

“Hi Aunty!” You greet, tucking his member back into his boxers, wiping his pre-release all over the front of his sweatpants. Jimin lets out a frustrated groan, his head resting on the headboard with a thunk! as he gives you a disappointed frown.

“Y/N, do you think you can stop by the store to pick something up for me?”

Jimin reaches for your hand, pulling it towards his cock, urging you to continue where you had left off but you simply shrug off his hold and send him a warning glare.

“Sure,” You answer. “What do you need me to get?”

Your aunt begins listing a few ingredients, a variety of vegetables but fuck, Jimin has on an evil smirk and you know you’re in trouble. He wraps a single arm around you, pulling you closer, while his other hand comes up to caress your breasts.

You frown at him, and mouth the words stop that to him but he simply shrugs his shoulders at you before his lips wraps around one of your buds, his tongue darting out to swirl around it. You’re delirious as you feel him suck at your skin, his mouth moving to leave patterns down the side of your breast, his hand massaging the other. The words slipping out from your phone’s speaker goes unheard as you tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, devoting all your energy into making sure your moans stay silent. Park Jimin really is the devil, is all your mind can conclude.

Your hand slips between the strands of his hair, tugging at them lightly before you pull harder, forcing Jimin to detach his lips from your nipple. He stares back at you with a sly grin, only to be met with your signature scowl and he leans in to peck your lips, to stop you from saying anything.

You hum into your phone, hoping your aunt hasn’t realised that you’ve been way too silent or worse, that she had heard anything that would have given her a clue of what exactly was happening behind the scenes.

She’s still listing more ingredients, letting you know on what she was planning to cook and you let out another hum, wishing she would just end the damn call already. Jimin lets his hand slip to your waist as you speak to your aunt and when you give him no attention, he lets them venture further southwards, thumbing the waistband of your pants. He looks up at you but you’re staring into space with your eyebrows furrowed, like you were actually trying to listen to whatever your aunt was saying. As if, he scoffs. His finger slips into your pants, snapping the waistband of your panties against your skin teasingly, knowing full well that this would definitely get your attention.

You pull your phone away, your hand covering the mic as you send him another warning glare. “Jimin, stop that!” You whisper-shout and he only laughs, letting his other hand slip to your behind to leave a hard slap. A tiny gasp leaves your throat and you pray your aunt heard nothing. You move to climb off his lap, unable to tolerate him anymore but his strong hands hold you in place, not letting you move an inch.

“Okay, I’ll stop,” He whispers into your ear, his light chuckles punctuating his sentence before he nibbles at your lobe. You bring back the phone to your ear just in time to hear your aunt ask if you had got all that and you answer with a curt yes. Crap, you were so screwed.

Jimin shifts under you, pulling you closer to him, your chest touching his and your centre pressed against his erection. It seemed like the word stop had a very different meaning in Jimin’s dictionary. You wriggle around, hoping he’ll release you but your efforts are futile and if anything, only riles him up further. His hips roll into yours letting your core feel his throbbing cock, aching for something, any form of friction. His lips busy themselves by returning the favour, marking your neck as you did his earlier. Low whimpers escape from your throat and your knuckles turn white from gripping your phone so hard, your mind screaming at you to not give into Jimin’s tricks.

There’s too much going on and you feel your resolve slowly crumbling, your mind on the verge of telling you to just toss your phone across the room and succumb to your desires. There’s a murmur on the other side of the phone and you let out a shaky yes, hoping that it had been a question your aunt was asking because you really hadn’t heard anything past ‘I need you to get me some vegetables.’

“Y/N, are you listening?” Your aunt questions, her tone clearly frustrated. “I need you to get them for me now, yeah?”

“Huh?” You question, mind still hazy from the way you felt heat pooling at your centre, the knot in your stomach growing tighter by the second.

“Y/N,” Your aunt grumbles. “Are you in the middle of something?”

“N-no, I’m listening,” You answer and Jimin giggles when you reach out to push him away.

"I said I need you to get me all of that right now.”

“Right now?” You repeat and Jimin backs away to look at you in confusion. Hell no. You’re not going to leave him here with blue balls are you?

“Yes and—”

"Wait, I-I caught most of what you told me,” You lie. “But I think you should still text me the list just so I don’t miss anything out.”

“Ah, my boy will meet you at the store and he has the list, so don’t worry about that.”

What. The. Fuck. She made you sit through all of that torture only to tell you that your cousin had the full list? What the hell was the point of this phone call then?

“He should be there already so meet him as soon as you can,” She chirps. “He always manages to miss something even when he has the list,” She groans.

“Sure, I’m on my way now,” You huff, trying your best to hide your annoyance before bidding her a curt goodbye.

When you hang up and put your phone back in your back pocket, you’re greeted with a look of bewilderment on Jimin’s face.

“No, no,” He growls. “You’re not going anywhere until you fix this,” He grunts, thrusting upwards. A light moan bubbles up your throat, completely betraying your thoughts.

“I-I can’t,” You mumble, trying to hide the moans that threatened to escape your lips. You search his bed for your bra, your hips still attached to his since he refused to let you go.

“You have to baby,” He groans, running his hand through his hair. “You can’t leave me like this!” He exclaims, pointing to where you were sitting on, finally releasing his hold on you.

You take the chance to climb off him and he whines, trying to pull you back to him but you slap his grabby hands away with a laugh.

“You said you were going to have me coming in my pants.”

“I failed,” You shrug.

Jimin flails around in his bed, throwing a temper tantrum like a child.

“I’ll eat you out, I’ll do anything,” He begs. “You can’t do this to me,” He whines like a 5-year-old.

“So you mean you weren’t planning to eat me out to begin with?” You question, hand on your hips.

“O-of course I was.”

“You’re stuttering, Park,” You tease. “That’s not very convincing.”

“That’s because your girls are literally staring me in the face right now,” He points towards your chest. “They make it really hard for me to think straight, you know?”

“Shame,” You shrug, while putting your bra on. “If you didn’t stutter maybe I’d be getting undressed,” You sigh as you pull your shirt back on.

“Baby please,” He cries, stalking over towards you. “What am I supposed to do with this if you leave?” He groans, fingers directing you to look at his member.

“You’re a big boy,” You smile. “Figure it out on your own, baby,” You tease, patting him lightly on the cheek. “Or maybe ask Mina… I’m sure she’d love to help.”

Jimin’s face immediately turns sour and you know you’ve gone a little too far but really, he walked right into that one.

He lets out a loud exhale as he watches you move towards his door, leaving him to deal with the problem in his pants, alone. He’s never been in this situation before. A girl actually leaving him with blue balls… but you’re a girl he’s shared quite a few firsts with. Most notably, the first time he’s felt himself slowly being driven insane by a girl.

Shit, he really didn’t want you to leave and not because of his semi-hard cock but because he just didn’t like seeing you go. Today was the first time you had smiled at him since the night of the ball. A genuine smile, not that crappy half smile you’ve been giving him lately or the other smile that never quite reach your eyes, one that had fake warmth behind it. This smile was that rare toothy grin that he thinks is reserved just for him. It’s not, but he likes to think that it is. On top of that, you even called him baby, albeit teasingly, it made his heart soar. It was like you wanted him to melt into a puddle right before you.

You had to stay… and if you weren’t going to, he had to see you tomorrow. He has a second to decide what to do and before he can really think anything through, he hears his own voice ring around the room.

“Nerd,” He calls and you look back, lifting your eyebrows at him. “D-do you maybe… want to watch a movie tomorrow?” He asks, his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

“You mean with the boys? Sure, just text the group—"

"No, I mean… Just you and me,” He gulps. “Like last time… you know? and then maybe we can talk about last night, about everything,” He adds quickly. His mind is racing as he awaits your answer, his heart thudding against his ribcage, so much so it felt like it was going to jump right out of his chest. Christ, even his pre-competition jitters had nothing on you.

It’s interesting, watching Jimin shift around nervously and you almost feel pity for him. He’s a convincing actor, you’ll give him that. You mull over the invite for a while, seeing it as your chance to carry out your plan, perhaps a little better this time. Talk. He wants to talk… that’s new, you hum. The both of you rarely speak about the things that happened between the both of you, choosing to ignore it until it becomes forgotten. You absolutely didn’t want to ‘talk’ but just like today, you think you’ll be able to wriggle your way out of that.

“Sure,” You smile. “Text me the details later yeah?”

“Y-yeah, of course!” He answers, almost shouting out his reply. He had meant to say goodbye but he’s so excited that his mind is unable to string the right words together. By the time he finally gets his act together, you’re already running down the stairs and out of his house.

Jimin takes a lengthy shower, stroking himself to thought of you, pretending it was your lips around his cock but even then, the euphoria he felt didn’t compare to hearing you say yes to the movie date. He paints the tiles with spurts of white, his breath heavy as he comes down from his high and all that clouds his thoughts now was how good you looked sitting on top of him but how much better you looked sitting beside him, your hand in his.

Being infatuated with someone made him feel so lame, he sighs but the warmth that bloomed in his chest with every thought of you made it feel like it didn’t matter.

By the time Jimin is done with his long, long shower, his parents are already sat at the table, lunch completely laid out. His mother complains about how it’s freezing in their house and he nibbles at his lips, a light feeling of guilt swimming in his chest.

Jimin’s parents notice their son being a lot more perkier than usual and they don’t have to ask why when he starts dropping some trivia about you, something or rather someone he had stopped talking about for a while. It’s endearing really and they watch on in fascination as he lights up, eyes crinkling when he smiles. Oh they couldn’t wait until you came over the next time, excited to finally be able to fully embarrass their son in front of you, a few choice stories already lined up.

Midway through the lunch, there’s a faint ding that comes from Jimin’s back pocket but he’s far too preoccupied with the conversation at hand to notice. A string of messages light up the front of his screen, your name flashing above them.

[1:42] You: hey i’m gonna have to take a rain check on that movie tomorrow

[1:42] You: because

[1:42] You: guess who my aunt’s cooking for tonight?

[1:42] You: my parents!!!

[1:42] You: anyway i’m leaving for my hometown tonight

[1:42] You: so i’ll see you when we’re all back on campus :)

Ah, the universe strikes again. It’s mysterious ways forever working against Jimin.

There’s a dull pain that sits at the bottom of your chest when you type out your messages to the boys, your uneasiness intensifying as you typed out Jimin’s. You had definitely made the situation worse with your stunt this afternoon, further confusing yourself but maybe your short trip home would be able to clear things up for you or even better, help you forget all of it ever happened. Maybe like always, after returning to campus, both you and Jimin would pretend like nothing happened… the both of you were really good at doing that anyway.

You shake your head, refusing to think about all of it anymore. You’re sure it’ll all work out because by the time the semester starts, you’ll all be back on campus where there would be a 100 other girls that Jimin could distract himself with and you’ll fade to the background, simply becoming another one of ‘those girls’ that he had had his fun with. Just another fuckboy, you tell yourself. Just another mistake. That’s all he was. Looks like you were going to have to look for another cuddle partner when you get back on campus and you had just the right person in mind…

A certain Kim Taehyung perhaps?

A/N: a lil insecure about how this chapter turned out bc i know this chap is kinda jumpy with the constant switching of viewpoints but I just idk hahaha I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!! As always, thank you so much for reading and feedback is welcome!!!

#btswriters #kwritersnet #armiesnet #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #jimin fluff #jimin angst #jimin smut #i wrote most of this on mobile and im kinda proud of that lmao #ayyy finally get to devote 100% of my mind into the sports collab that im superr excited about

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mortallyburningobservation · 3 years

Text

Serena meets a vampire

First, Id like to introduce myself.My name is Serena and Im a witch.I know what youre thinking and the answer is no.Im not the kind a witch that worships the elements or practices Wicca.Im the real kind.I can cast real spells which really work.

Given I look very human I blend in with the rest of you, therefore you wouldnt know that Im a witch by looking at me.I eat, drink, and sleep - and when I fly Im a passenger in a plane and not on a broom.

Incidentally, Im nearly two hundred years old.

Relax!I dont look that old.In fact, I physically turned fifteen years old last July.Confused?Id be.

Now, where should I start?I guess everything stems from a Halloween Party that I attended eleven years ago.I just love Halloween Parties.

Huh…?Hang on a second my mom is calling me.

Okay, Im back.My Mom wanted to remind me that Charmed is on television tonight.Its a Halloween Special.Theres something about a show filled with hot witches that turns me on.Anyway, in my family we all sit around the television to watch this show.

Whats that?

Oh yes.Im the only witch in my family and they havent a clue.

Did I mention its Halloween in a couple of days?Ive been, like, invited to a really kewl party.A couple of my girlfriends are trying to set me up with Damien.Hes in my algebra class and really cute, but to be honest, I have my sights on someone else.But Ill get to that later.

Halloween night is a very special night for me.It was midnight on this date, two hundred years ago, that I was conceived.In fact, its the only night of the year that a witch can get pregnant.It certainly makes for some interesting parties.Anyway, on a certain Halloween night there was another significant event, and like I mentioned before, this happened eleven years ago.Ill never forget about it because Im reminded of it several times a day.All I have to do is look in the mirror.

No, Im not hideous.In fact, Im a very pretty girl.I mean, really pretty.Im even pretty enough to be a model.Anyway, eleven years ago, I was a very beautiful 28 year-old woman, who stood about 58 and weighed about 115lbs.I was extremely fit and firm, not to mention incredibly curvy.My most prominent feature back then was my tits, which I contributed to my biological mom, who was pretty healthy herself, and a growth spell that I cast on them during countless hours in front of my vanity mirror.If I had worn a bra back then, I probably would have needed a 35DD-cup.

I guess I should get going with what happened to me but before I do let me go over some facts.In order for a witch, or a warlock for that matter, to stay young, they have to steal age from humans.I know this sounds mean, but in most cases, you humans arent even aware it is happening.Did you ever notice how some people look much older than their age?For example, some girls who are 14 look more like 20!You know the kind - trust me - theyve been tampered with.

You will also be happy to know that the nicer witches outnumber the evil ones, so when a nice witch steals age, they usually steal a little at a time.The victims never know.By the way, Im one of the nice witches and have never intentionally stolen more than 3 months from the same human.Evil witches are another matter and can be very dangerous.Id recommend that you stay clear of them but chances are you wouldnt know one if you met one.If they did do something to you, theyd probably cover their tracks and tamper with your short-term memory as well.

Just to shine some light on how serious stealing age can be, let me share a very sad story with you.It happened about thirty or forty years ago.Im sorry, when you lived as long as I have; trying to pinpoint a time frame is difficult.What I do remember is my cover, because I enjoyed some of my most memorable experiences during this time frame.I was physically 21 at the time and portraying myself as a rich girl attending a prestigious college in the Northeast.I laugh now at my motivation for attending this specific college, for this Institution is female exclusive.

I remember renting a small house in a quaint little suburban area.I even grew a friendship with my neighbors, and the young couple had the most adorable little girl.Every day she would stop by and visit me after school and I loved listening to her talk.She would say some of the silliest things.

Anyway, just to stay in the loop of my true nature, I would occasionally attend a Coven party, and it was at this party that I toyed around with a warlock.The guy was a creep, and had a reputation for playing the witches.I thought it was about time someone paid him back in spades.I knew he wouldnt try any spells on me for it was against the code, and to be truthful, Im pretty powerful so I seriously doubt his powers would have been a match for my own.Well, by the end of the party, the warlock realized he wasnt getting any from me and he became outright belligerent.I was relieved to see him leave the party.

One Friday afternoon returning home from an afternoon lecture, he showed up unexpectedly.I was shocked.He said that he decided to forgive me and surprise me with a weekend getaway.Of course I told him I wasnt interested.I remember thinking; doesnt this warlock get the hint?Anyway, I told him that what he was doing was called harassment and I threatened him with a formal complaint to the Warlock & Witches Council.

Well, this only made him angrier.If you hadnt guessed it by now, Im a lesbian.Well, at least I was then and I never disclosed this to the warlock during the party.But even if I were into men back then, this guy wouldnt have had a chance.He was a creep - plain and simple.

Anyway, the warlock asked me if it was due to our age difference.His body was that of a man in his mid thirties, so he must have assumed that I preferred younger men.I again asked him to leave, and it was about then that my little friend came through the door.You know - the little girl.Now, stealing age doesnt take that long and can be accomplished in a matter of seconds.The warlock spotted the girl, grabbed her arm, and before I could react, he applied the age transformation spell.He stole the girls childhood right before my eyes!

I stood there in utter shock.How someone could be cruel enough to do this to a little girl was beyond me.I looked at the warlock, who now looked in his early 20s and then looked back at the little girl, who was no longer little.In fact, the girl was now a stunningly beautiful young woman!Given her clothes were torn to shreds from her transformation, she stood there near naked and looking like she was about to cry.If I recall, her name was Christina.

Anyway, Christina was now wearing a body of a young woman about 19 or 20, but she was still mentally a child!Once a witch or a warlock performs this age transformation spell, its final… at least to the best of my knowledge.

I quickly led Christina over to the couch and placed a sleep spell on her.Then I turned back to the warlock.He stood there thinking he was gods gift to women and I screamed a bunch of profanities at him.I would have loved to cast a curse on him, but the laws prevented me.Anyway, he told me to go fuck myself and walked out the door.

So, there I was, faced with a 10-year-old girl inside a 20-year-old body.I knelt down by Christina and cried.It was my fault.10 years of this girls life was gone and shed never get it back.How was I going to explain this to her parents?How was Christina going to adapt?As all these things ran through my mind, I kept on staring at the girl and I admit she was starting to make me feel horny.The girls 20-year-old body was breathtaking and like I already told you I was a lesbian.Christina looked so sweet and obviously she was innocent.I hope you dont think the worse of me for my bodys reaction, but it isnt something that I could control.

Think about it.Im staring down at a young, innocent, very vulnerable woman, who was incredibly beautiful and near naked.I would have given anything to make love to her, but I restrained myself.I didnt go there!I wanted too, but I didnt!Instead, I spent the rest of that day and night casting various spells.I did what was best for her and her parents, but what I did is another story and I need to get back to this one.

Like I had mention earlier, at 28 years of physical age, I was a knock out and believe me when I say I draw my share of attention.My hair is blonde and I kept it long.So long it actually tickled my butt when naked.Incidentally, Id appreciate it if you hold back the blonde jokes.

Anyway, here I am at this party and thinking that I was all that and having no idea what was in store for me.All I knew is that I love Halloween parties and despite this experience, I always will.I love the fact that people dress up in costumes and hide their inhibitions underneath a mask.I myself tend to be more daring.

Oh, let me tell you what I was wearing.My costume was the one I always wore.Remember that old television show from the sixties?Bewitched was the name.Remember the blonde cartoon at the shows introduction.I looked like her, but even sexier.I wore a black short skirt, black top, black sexy hat, which set off my long blonde flowing hair.Thats what I looked like, except for my tits were much bigger.

Anyway, the black outfit I wore was form fitting and showcased every curvaceous attribute I possessed.So, I was attracting all kinds of attention.I was out on the prowl and feeling very horny.Oh… did you know that in my two hundred years that almost all my sexual relationships only lasted a week?Although there was Cassandra North, who I shared the same bed with for a much longer period of time, but Cassandras another story for a different time.

As the party progressed I settled on a cute hottie dressed as Super Girl.She looked college age and I looked forward to my favorite part of the evening, the seduction.Most girls were virgin to female sex and this made it all the more erotic for me.Dont get me wrong, there are plenty enough hot looking lipstick lesbians out there, but I prefer my girls pure and innocent to lesbian sex.I absolutely love how confused they become when theyre suddenly aroused for another girl.

Super Girl was petite, and possessed shoulder length auburn hair.She looked very sexy in her mini and cape.If I remember correctly, I think her name was either Lisa or Lana... or something that started with an L.Everything about the girl was perfect, except maybe her breasts.I really did feel shed look far sexier with a bigger pair, but then again Im partial to bigger breasts proven by how much time I spent perfecting my own.I had the girl approach me using a compulsion spell and found she was here with her roommate.Apparently, the girls were friends of the host, but since I crashed the party, I had no idea who the host was.

The girls roommate was dressed as Batgirl.The girls attended the local community college and I immediately got wet thinking about a threesome with them.I mean, if Batgirl looked half as hot as Super Girl, how could I resist?

As Super Girl and I talked about various interests, I decided it was time to make my move.So, I cast one of my favorite spells on her.

Just to let you know, there are over one hundred different spells to choose from when it comes to seducing a girl.My favorite is the arousal spell.Now, I know youre thinking why would a girl that looks like me need to resort to using magic.Excuse me.Hello...?The girl Im seducing is heterosexual, remember?Just because Im all that doesnt mean that a girl that likes dick is suddenly going to want to lick pussy.So, even witches that are knock outs have to resort to witchcraft every now and then.

The arousal spell I used transmitted a stronger version of my own arousal inside the girl.The hornier I become for the girl, the hornier she would become for me, but I made sure to amplify her arousal almost five fold.I also decided to do something about her breasts, and ended up using a time delayed growth spell on them.Im usually pretty good at measurements and decided to go with an increase of three additional cup sizes.I wasnt completely sure what size bra she wore, but she didnt look bigger than a B cup.Not wanting her boobs to be painfully entrapped in her bra, I made it where the spell would trigger the second she slipped it off.Super Girl would go from a 34B cup to Double Ds!I also made it where her breasts would be extra sensitive to sexual stimulation, and then tied the stimulation of her nipples directly to her clit.

Well, it wasnt long before Lisa started to fidget.She was soooo adorable as she tried denying her desire for me.She mentioned more than once how hot it was and I saw her discreetly touch herself.She blushed when I caught her staring at my boobs.

I then looked around for Batgirl, but unfortunately she was still nowhere to be found.I decided I was too horny to wait any longer, so I invited Super Girl to come upstairs with me.But just as I was about to take her hand I noticed a man.

Now, that in it self should have set off some alarm bells.Simply put – I never notice men.They notice me and I ignore them.What bugged me about this man was that he was so damn good looking.My eyes were glued to him.What was it about him that hit me with those powerful vibes?

Then the mans eyes locked on my eyes and suddenly I felt a strange tug inside my mind.I also felt suddenly weak with an overwhelming desire to spread my legs for him.Here I was a lesbian and feeling heterosexual desire for the first time in my life.Im not sure how I was able to look away but I did and quickly shook off the feelings and composed myself.I then turned back to my pet super heroine and could see from her heavy breathing that she was ready.Hell, I could smell her.

I leaned over and copped a feel of her lovely ass and as I did I made sure to slide my hand underneath her sexy mini.I pressed my middle and index fingers against her pussy and she nearly came right then and there.Gasping and blushing, she pressed her ass down against her fingers in hopes that I would enter her.I so loved teasing my conquests.

As I was about to lead her away, the man that had so captivated me a few moments ago now stood boldly in front of me.Had I really forgotten about him?He had this huge grin on his face, gave Super Girl a quick once over with his eyes, and then returned his attention to me.

The guy oozed virility and was on the tall side.He wore black, but if he were trying to pass himself off as a vampire, I thought he failed miserably.I was about to tell him that he was intruding on something private but Super Girl suddenly announced that she had to go home.

Impossible!I could still smell the girls arousal for me!How could she be putty in my hands one second and then be leaving the next?I was about to throw a get lost spell at the man when he suddenly caught my gaze again.

His eyes were soooooooo hypnotic.Soooooooooo deep.Soooooooooo incredibly beautiful and it no longer bothered me that Super Girl was leaving.

The man started to make small talk with me and I felt compelled to respond.Strangely enough, I even found the conversation enjoyable, and boy did I want him.Im not sure how the topic landed on immortality, but it did.

It has always been my contention that warlocks and witches should not be classified as immortal because if we chose not to steal age, we wouldnt stay young.Ive certainly had my share of debates on this subject, not to mention some really heated ones, and this guy was no different.I remember becoming really angry at his smug smile.I mean… who the hell did this guy think he was?

I was really getting pissed and declared that witches can die of old age - just like humans and therefore this in itself proved their mortality.

Witches choose whether to live or die.Only immortals have this choice, the guy responded, just as angry.

Youre wrong!Witches need to steal their youth in order to survive.How can you be so ignorant not to see this and besides, what makes you such an authority on the subject?

It sounds to me like youve had this argument before.Maybe if you were less a bitch and more a witch, youd be as attractive on the inside as you clearly are on the outside, the man replied, smiling.

I was fuming!How dare this guy talk to me like this!How dare he call me a bitch!I was about to let him have it when he simply stared into my eyes again.Those damn eyes!I lost myself in them.They were big, beautiful, dark, deep, and ever so gorgeous.It wasnt until that very moment that I realized I had lost my will in them.Whoever this guy was, he had successfully hypnotized me.I was powerless to do or say anything.I remembered desperately trying to break eye contact with him but found I couldnt.Not until he asked me a question was I able to say something, and even then it was only to answer him specifically.

Whats your name and your true age, the man asked me.

Serena Templer.Im one hundred and eighty-eight years old, I whispered in response.

Youre very pretty for someone so old.It must be immortality that keeps you looking so young, huh? he responded with a smile.

Yes, I whispered.

I couldnt help it!This man had mentally forced me to admit that I was wrong in my definition of immortality.I turned beet red from embarrassment.

Let me introduce myself, Serena.My name is Michael Anthony Lexington and Im what you would consider a vampire.Not an every day run of the mill vampire, but Im an ancient one and have been undead for nearly a thousand years.Now, follow me, witch.

If I were allowed, I would have panicked, but instead I found myself following the vampire through the crowd of partygoers and out the back door.Damn me to hell – I saw Batgirl on the way and she was just as hot as her roommate.Anyway, when we got outside we went another fifty feet until we were alone in a back ally.We stopped next to a black limo that was parked on the side of the street.It was obviously his.

Tell me, my pretty little witch.Have you ever made it with a vampire before?

Yes, Cassandra North… we were lovers for a decade.

Ah yes, Cassandra North… Im aware of her.Im curious about something.Were you always a lesbian witch or did Cassandra turn you?

I... I... I dont understand.Ive always been a lesbian, I responded, suddenly very confused.

Cassandra could have easily altered your sexual preference when she drank your blood.I swear… you witches are as helpless as these humans.Have you ever been with a male before?

No.I mean... not really, I whispered in response, suddenly remembering an incident that happened a long time ago.

Explain.

I... I had sex when I was real young.The boy got me drunk and took advantage of me.

And your witchcraft didnt protect you?

I was too young.

I see...Well, did you get revenge when you turned sixteen?

Yes... I... I cursed him, I replied, wondering how he knew about my witchcraft kicking in when I turned 16.I cursed him where he would only feel sexually aroused from the act of masturbation.

Hmmm… interesting, he responded, smiling.

I stood there like a statue as the vampire approached me.When he stood inches from me, he brought his hands up to cup my chin.Im not small, and usually I dont have to look that far up at someone, but with him I had to look up... and I felt very small.Weak, too!Another thing I was feeling was that strong sexual desire Id been feeling before for him… but this time it was about five times stronger!

Please, I begged, needing him.

The vampire brought his mouth down to my mouth and we kissed, and then I wanted him more than anyone else before in my life!I wanted him to fuck me!I desperately wanted him to fuck me!I remember my huge breasts bouncing up and down with each heavy breath I took and feeling wetter than I ever felt before in my life.Never had I wanted to be with anyone more than this vampire and that included Cassandra.If he wanted my neck, I would have begged for him to drink from me.If he wanted my life, I would have begged for him to take it.

As he kissed me, I continued to kiss him back, harder and with more passion than ever before.I blush to this day at the memory and did I mention he left me with a vivid recollection?My only thought was how desperately I wanted him to bend me over the hood of his car and outright fuck me.

Then suddenly, he broke away from me which left me gasping.My eyes pleaded for more and if I had control over my actions, I would have dropped down to my knees and begged him.

Tell me, Serena... what would you like more than anything else in the world?

I... I want you to fuck me, I replied, honestly.

Strip for me - slowly.

The fact that we were outside... didnt matter.All I remember caring about was undressing, but undressing slow enough to look my sexiest.I forced myself to go slower than I would have preferred, but I knew how important it was to please him.After I stripped completely, I stood submissively naked before him.Damn did I ever need him, and I knew my eyes represented this.Id been reduced to his sex slave and he made me crave it!

You still want to be fucked, Serena?

Yesssssss… pleeaaaassssssseee, I whimpered and begged.

Go ahead and lean yourself over the hood of the limo, he commanded me.

I eagerly turned around and did as I was told... spreading my legs with anticipation.

Im going to give you a taste of what youve been missing all these years.

As the vampire moved behind me, I felt myself getting hotter and hotter between my legs.Waves and waves of arousal crashed down on me and my knees nearly buckled when I heard him lower his zipper.

Uuuuunnnnngggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh, I cried out as he penetrated me.

Never in my 200 years had I felt more pleasure from a single act.As the vampire thrust into my dripping wet hot cunt, I cried out in ecstasy and wished he would never stop.Every time the vampire pulled back, I cried in fear that he was withdrawing, and then screamed out louder as he plunged back into me.I know I was loud, but I couldnt help it.If someone was outside in a couple block radius they would have heard me.By the time he was done, I had lost count at how many times I came and eventually passed out.

Im not sure how long I was out cold, but when I woke, I was still leaning over the hood of his limo.I must have presented quite a sight with my legs spread eagled and my naked ass on display.I also remember how incredibly satisfied I felt.

I heard the vampire tell me to turn around and as I did, I noted the soreness inside my pussy.He smiled as if he knew what I was thinking.Was this a reminder of my first fuck?

When I looked down and saw that the vampire had put his cock away, I felt a rush of disappointment.Apparently, he was done fucking me.Then I noticed the teenagers standing by the side… a boy and a girl who didnt look much older than fifteen or sixteen.My first thought was to cover my nudity, but my arms remained at my sides and my sexy costume remained on the ground by my feet.

Serena… I must tell you that this was one of the finer fucks Ive had in a very long time.You were not only hot, but tight as well.

I blushed at his comment, but I also felt proud... and I had no idea why.

Now, let me introduce you to Jeremy and Connie.My chauffeur selected them.He found them while you were taking a nap.Youve been sleeping in that position for more than an hour and Ill tell you this much, both Jeremy and Connie couldnt get over how hot you looked in that position.Yes, even Connie, who had never looked at another girl sexually before in her life, thought you looked hot.Anyway, theres another thing that the three of us did while you were sleeping.We talked about the future.Your future, their future, and how you will all be one happy family.

I just stood there wondering what he was talking about.More sex…?I could feel myself becoming aroused again.

Incidentally, it seems like Jeremy and Connie are just friends.Jeremy has always had a crush on Connie but Connie never felt anything other than a friendship towards him.Theyre both virgins.Apparently, she has a boyfriend and although she hasnt gone all the way she has done everything else.

I watched the Vampire walk over to Jeremy and Connie and stand directly in front of them.Both kids faced forward apparently in some sort of trance.

I have plans for them… and you.First, let me make some adjustments to them.

The vampire stood silent, alternating his gaze back and forth between them.It seemed like a long time but it was probably less than a minute.I only did what I was allowed to do... watch.

All set with the first phase.When they come out of their trance, they will have a real passion and love for one another, but of course, Connies sexual desire for Jeremy will be much stronger and she will be more passive when it comes to their relationship.This way Jeremy has the power to keep her in line.

The vampire then walked over to me.

I could simply make you believe that you no longer want to live.As a result, you would grow old and die, but where would the fun be in proving you right regarding our earlier discussion?

I stood there in silence.

So, what do I do?How about I make you my own personal sex slave?Based on your response a little while ago, you obviously enjoyed it.Im sure you would look hot crawling around on your hands and knees to me… begging me to make use of you.I could make it where you want it so much that your pretty little pussy would be perpetually creaming.

I stood there, envisioning life as this vampires sex slave and I could feel myself growing aroused from it.I knew he was putting the image there, but I responded anyway.My desire for this overwhelmed me and my intellect took a back seat.

Or I could provide you an opportunity to start over.Of course, the big advantage of starting over is grooming you to be much more compliant.Wouldnt you like that?

I wanted to shout no but I still stood there silent.

Yes Serena, youll be much more docile and passive around everybody… the way you should have been the first time around.This way your big mouth wont take away from that beauty of yours like it did tonight.

I looked at him, not wanting to understand where he was going with this.

Youve also been much to obsessed with one type of sex when a girl that looks like you should indulge in a whole variety.Of course, youll have to wait a spell before this happens.

Ill leave your memories alone - especially tonights because I wouldnt want you forgetting our time together… every thrust of it.

If I could have looked alarmed I would have, but I continued to stand still like a statue.I watched the vampire walk over to the boy and lead him over to me.I still wasnt sure exactly what he had in mind and felt fear when I heard him tell the boy to strip.Within seconds, the boy was completely naked.He had an erection and I wondered if he was going to force the boy to have sex with me.I tried moving, but still wasnt able until he instructed me to take the boys hand.I reached out my hand and did so.The kid must have still been in a trance because he didnt seem to notice that we were both completely naked - nor what he was doing.

Alright Serena - take twelve years from him.

The command stunned me, but there was no hesitation in my action.I just did it.I couldnt refuse because I was nothing more than a puppet, and the vampire held the strings.I performed the age transformation spell and within seconds the boy was no longer a boy.He was a man.In fact, a good looking man!He looked mid to late twenties and possessed a huge erection.I gasped at the sight of him and felt myself grow damp.I wanted him!Then it hit me!If the boy was a man - that made me...

Serena, you may look at yourself, but you cannot move your feet nor talk above a whisper.

I quickly looked down at my body and cried.What I saw shocked me.I was sixteen again!During every age regression I performed on myself, I never ever went below the age of 18.I now had some baby fat added to my curves and instead of being a beautiful adult I was sixteen year old.Yes, I was still great looking, but with enough baby fat to make me more cute than beautiful.I felt heavier in my ass and hips, and for good reason.I wanted to look behind me to check my ass out, but felt too embarrassed.My breasts shrunk but only a little due to the growth spell I had placed on them.I dropped maybe a cup.My face would obviously give proof to the fact that I was sixteen.Then another realization hit me.Good thing he didnt go back any further because if he had I would have lost my witchcraft.

I looked back at the boy – now a man.Our age difference was reversed and I wanted him!I looked down at his erection and the sexual desire flooding my body made me feel weak in the knees.Only if I could move!I wanted to be fucked by that big pole sticking straight out at me!

The vampire walked over to the girl and whispered something in her ear.She then proceeded to strip.My mind was racing.Why was he doing this?Did he want us to be a threesome?The girl was a doll and with every article of clothing she took off, I found myself feeling more and more aroused.Despite her young age... hell, we were physically the same age now.I wanted her… and wanted him… I wanted them both!If the vampire allowed it, I would have cried out with joy!

Alright Serena...what Ive done is give you a taste of what you will look like in about twelve years.Ive been kind enough to let you enjoy both sexes.Instead of a lesbian, Ive made you bisexual.Now, take twelve years from Connie.

NO!!!You cant do this to me!I shouted in a whisper, but again I was merely a passenger as my hand reached over and took a hold of Connies hand.She, like the boy, had no idea what was happening.I performed the age transformation spell, and within seconds, the girl was no longer a girl, but a woman.God, what she ever tall!She was a beauty as well.She even rivaled my previous form!Her breasts had grown from a B cup to a DD cup, and she had curves in all the right places!Her hair, which had been long to start with, grew down past her very rounded buttocks and WAIT!As much as I appreciated her very beautiful looks I realized I felt absolutely no arousal!

I felt absolutely nothing for this lady and then remembered why.I started to cry… really cry.I was a child.Actually more like a toddler.Four years old if that.No breasts!No patch of... nothing!Just a little toddler…

Why?Why make me little girl? I asked in my new high pitched voice.

I still maintained my intellect and my memories but my words came out like the little girl I looked like.

To teach you respect, little witch, and oh yeah - no more witchcraft.Not until you reach sixteen... almost twelve years from now.Tell me Serena, what do you want right now?

I want my mommy, I replied, sobbing.

Remember Serena - never engage in a debate with a vampire… especially one as old as me.

The vampire walked before the naked couple and stared at them for a few moments.He then knelt down in front of me and as I looked into his eyes - it became so clear.I could move again and I ran into my pretty mommys arms as she lifted me up.

Mommy, mommy! I screamed with happiness, loving as my pretty mommy hugged me tight.I heard her whisper… Yes, my precious Serena - what is it dear?

Can we go home, I sleepy... pleeeaassee, I replied.

Well – thats my story.Like I said, Im fifteen now and in nine months Ill be sixteen again.More importantly, Ill be a full fledged witch again.Unlike the last time, I remember a lot more about my childhood.As you kind of figured out, the vampire had turned Jeremy and Connie into my parents.They love each other - and as far as they are concerned, Im their first child.

My Mom and Dad are constantly making love.Its hard not to hear them with my mom being so loud.Theyve been at it ever since that special Halloween night.

I have six younger sisters and another one on the way.No brothers.I remember the vampire telling them to have ten children, so my Mom has two more pregnancies to go unless she has twins.

The vampire also did a few things to me.I have a passive personality.Its like I have this burning desire to please everyone and I feel weak during confrontations.Ive never been in an argument.Some of the boys in school have picked up on my submissive nature.I even found myself allowing a boy to grope my tits during in the movie theatre.I couldnt believe how horny I got.Not because he attracted me so much, but because I felt so damn helpless while he was doing it.Im hoping I turn sixteen before the boys start really taking advantage of me.

This leads me to tell you about Jason and Jessica.Theyre twins at my school and they turned fifteen last summer.They look older than they are and Im almost tempted to believe a witch or warlock got a hold of them.Im constantly thinking of them.Jason is really cute and Jessica is very pretty.Theyre going to be at the Halloween Party Im going to and I cant wait!

Like I said, childhood was a lot different this time around… much easier.Modern technology is a little like magic because it makes life easier.I also play soccer and that keeps me busy.Im pretty good at it and play the striker position.The coach calls me her secret weapon.I think she has lesbian tendencies because I catch her stealing glances at me.Shes attractive and I have a feeling if she tried to seduce me, there would be very little resistance on my part.I just hope Im sixteen before she tries.

My breasts have been getting bigger lately.Maybe Im not ready for a C cup but it should be soon.Of course, when Im sixteen, I can simply make my tits as big and shapely as I want them to be.Jessicas are already big.I stole a glance at her bra size in the girls locker room.She wears a ‘D cup.Its hard for me not to look at her when we take showers.

Lately, Ive been masturbating while fantasizing about the two of them.God, they make me so horny.Im really looking forward to getting my powers back.Right now, Im only a casual friend of Jessicas and Jason is too preoccupied with sports to recognize girls.But thats going to change.Love spells are the easiest type of spell and nine months from now theyll both be feeling the affects.

Hang on...

My Mom is calling me...Charmed is on.Dont you think Alyssa Milano is a hottie?Yes, I have a crush on her.Every time I watch the show I think of how kewl it is being the real life version of a witch.Maybe when I regain my witchcraft, Ill go visit the set of Charmed.

Oh... I havent seen Michael Lexington since that night.You remember him - the Vampire.Maybe one day Ill meet him again.God I hope so...

Talk to you later…

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adultingrpg-blog · 7 years

Photo

ALI has been accepted as CLAUDE CHAMBERS. **This is just a sample application.

OUT OF CHARACTER.

NAME: Ali. AGE: 23. TELL US SOMETHING ABOUT YOU: I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. TIMEZONE: EST. ACTIVITY LEVEL: 6-7/10. I have really bad service and internet where I work but I can be on throughout the day, and then once I’m home from work. PRONOUNS: She/her. SHIPS: /chem. ANTI-SHIPS: /forced.

IN CHARACTER.

DESIRED CHARACTER: Claude Lee Chambers. SONG: We Don’t Talk Anymore - Charlie Puth ft. Selena Gomez. NICKNAMES: Lo, CC, Chams. HOMETOWN: Laval, Quebec, Canada. FAMILY DETAILS: Original character. FACECLAIM: Matthew Daddario. DATE OF BIRTH/AGE: December 27th, 1993 / 24. GENDER IDENTITY/PRONOUNS: Cis-male, he/him/his. SEXUAL/ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Bisexual demi-biromantic. OCCUPATION/EDUCATION: Works at the University of Chicago in the English department, and helps out his friend with marketing/working at his new bakery. He also sells his artwork if he feels like it’s good enough, or if he needs money. APARTMENT CHOICE: Grand Court.

A LITTLE MORE.

Except for once when he was twelve, Claude has never spoken to his father. Oliver has made several attempts at connecting with him, but Claude refuses each time.

When he was nineteen, Claude legally changed his surname from Daniels to Chambers after his mother married Morgan.

Claude moved from Laval to Chicago to be with Asher, but the city became his new home. Asher understood that which is why he left instead of asking Claude to.

THREE NEGATIVE TRAITS: Meddlesome, obstinate, imprudent.

THREE POSITIVE TRAITS: Magnanimous, candid, stoical.

NETWORKING.

@CHAMCHAMS: i swear im not actually 5??? i just like plugging my ears & saying “i can’t hear you” on the rare occasion????

@CHAMCHAMS: someone buy this for me [photo]

TEXT TO [SISTER]: will you pick me up

LAST 4 EMOJIS: 🤷 🔥 🙄 ✋

BACKSTORY.

** TRIGGER WARNINGS: TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ABUSE. **

Claude Chambers was born into a family that ended almost as soon as it started. Born out of wedlock to a pair of seventeen year old Catholics, it’s safe to say that Claude wasn’t exactly planned. It was after a bit too much alcohol one night and a drunken decision that Eleanor James found herself pregnant. She took test after test, went to a clinic… and all came back with the same positive result. While her family wasn’t pleased, they were somewhat understanding. Claude’s father, Oliver, was happy as can be, though. He proposed that day, and they were married three weeks later. For almost a year, Oliver and Eleanor were happy. They went shopping for baby stuff, he tagged along to every single appointment and worked two jobs to help support Eleanor and the baby all on his own. But then Claude was born, and the shock that Oliver was in seemed to slowly dissipate. Issues started to pop up here and there. The shower in their run-down apartment leaked, they were dirt broke, there was mold in the carpet in the living room… And then there was the bigger things that couldn’t be overlooked and ended up being the tipping point. Oliver was sick working two jobs and swore up and down that Claude wasn’t his. Disagreements then led to fights and turned violent fast. After the first punch, Eleanor packed up her stuff and her son, and left Denver for Laval.

They settled there only a week later. Eleanor contacted her aunt and asked if she could stay there and watch Claude. It was about two years and ten jobs later that the two left and settled on their own, and only four years after that did Eleanor meet Morgan and fall in love. Morgan, of course, had no clue that Eleanor was in love with her for another three years, and it was then that they finally moved in together with all three children. Two of them Morgan’s and then Claude. They were a family and a better one at that. Everything seemed to fit into place then. Claude was nearing eleven at the time and he can still remember how amazing it felt to finally feel like he belonged somewhere. The house they lived in, the love between Morgan and Eleanor, his new siblings… it felt right.

So life was good. Claude had his family, was passing all of his classes and his friends were all pretty good to him. He had a strong support system that he knew would get him through it all. And then he met Asher, and everything seemed to change.

After his friends talked him into it for almost a week, Claude ended up at a house party. At just sixteen, he wasn’t expecting what he saw. He always assumed it was kegs, bubbles, glitter and pop music. What he found instead was shitty vodka, some beer, indie music and a bunch of people basically having sex in the same room. That’s where he met Asher. It started off as something heated. Claude was instantly attracted to Asher and Asher to him. They traded numbers and agreed to a no-strings hookup whenever and wherever. But after a year, they were sleeping with one another exclusively. It was then that they agreed to see if there was chemistry outside of the sex.

Things were fine at first, but then there were small disagreements, and those small things led to fights, which led to break-ups and Claude sleeping in his car. It wasn’t until months of the recurring behavior that Claude was going to leave Asher. He didn’t want to be in a relationship like his mother and father were in. He didn’t want the fighting or the secret hatred, and he didn’t want it to end the same way. But then after a particularly bad fight, Asher admitted to have been seeing another guy he met at a bar a few weeks ago, and that it was looking pretty serious despite not knowing him that long. That broke Claude’s heart.

Claude all but begged Asher to stay with him even after everything in him was saying the complete opposite just the night before. To Claude’s delight, Asher agreed. But everything changed. Their once somewhat dysfunctional relationship turned toxic. The love Claude once felt had changed into something more sad and desperate. He didn’t want to lose his boyfriend, especially not after fighting the way he did. There were too many nights spent on his knees crying–begging and pleading his boyfriend to stay with him; choose him. And the tears that were shed in the bathroom when Asher went to bed…falling freely every single night like clockwork. He couldn’t let go, even when all the mean things Asher ever said to him played like a constant loop through it all… He wasn’t good enough for anyone else. No one wanted him. He wasn’t that smart, anyway. No one would love Claude the way that Asher did. The words stuck without him ever realizing it. They formed doubts and regrets in his mind making it hard for Claude to leave.

They broke up once a month it seemed. Whenever they made it to an anniversary, Claude would realize that they had broken up one or two weeks earlier for a few days, only for him to go back apologizing for something he didn’t do. It wasn’t all on Asher, either. Claude would say things during arguments that had Asher running away with tears in his eyes. They were never on the same page to begin with, anyway. Claude had always wanted more whereas Asher made it clear from day one that he wasn’t in it for the long run.

It eventually ended when Claude was twenty-two. After going out with some coworkers on his birthday, Claude arrived to their shared apartment to find Asher’s stuff gone. He had packed all his stuff up during the day and vanished with just a note on the fridge: We aren’t good for one another. There were several things that should have been the tip-off for Claude before that point. It wasn’t the fighting because he knew fighting was unavoidable. No, it should have been the absence of talking it through. That’s when he realized he wasn’t fine. That his life wasn’t fine.

It never really hit Claude, not really. He knew he wasn’t fine, sure, but not to what extent. He went on with his life as if nothing ever really happened. The only obvious difference was the people in his life–having cut them down to those that either didn’t like Asher or didn’t know him. There’s always that voice in his head on replay that says “you should’ve been better”, but the alcohol seems to help make that go away. He’s seeing a therapist at his mother’s insistence because she spoke so highly of it throughout her own therapy, especially now that Claude has learned the news of Asher’s upcoming wedding. There was a lot of alcohol after he heard that.

Despite it all, Claude’s got a decent life. He’s happy….or he’s getting there, at least. He’s trying to figure everything out in the meantime. Claude was under the impression before the break-up that he’d end up going into English or Business, and even has a degree to pursue it, but he no longer wants to go down that route. In the meantime, he’s working as basically a barista for his friend’s bakery, and helps him with all the marketing and business. He also sells some of his art when he needs to, and works at the University of Chicago in the English department.

#family: chambers #character: claude chambers #all biographies