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sophiamcdougall · 9 months

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I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again

I mean, I am. But still.

So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.

So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.

At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.

Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell

So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.

I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.

This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.

Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.

I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.

Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.

We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.

"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."

"A what," he asks.

"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"

"Oh! A turtle!" he says.

"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.

The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.

"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.

"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.

"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.

"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??

The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?

I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.

"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."

"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.

"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!

So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.

(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)

#story time

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osaemu · 9 months

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GOJO SATORU: ❛❛ SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE ❜❜

.ೃ࿐ staying the night at your ex-husband's house was a mistake. NSFW

contents: fem!reader. you and gojo have a daughter. oral (m. and f. recieving), satoru calls you a slut + whore, degradation mixed with praise, mocking, dacryphilia.

author's note: edit—crying bcs an irl read this and alluded to it in one of our convos pls actually kill me /hj

"hey, sweetheart," the man holding your daughter's hand says casually, as if he doesn't know how much you hate the pet name. "you took your sweet time."

a familiar scowl makes its way onto your face and you cross your arms. "satoru, will you ever stop calling me that?" you ask exasperatedly, pressing two of your fingers into your temples.

six years.

you've known satoru for six years, and you were his wife for four of them. now, after a long, painful road, you two were finally divorcées.

it's been a year since you and satoru ended things, and sure, it was hard for all of you, but life moved on. your daughter, to her delight, still gets to see her father on weekends. and unfortunately, you usually tagged along.

"mommy, can we stay for the night?" your four year old asks, looking up at you with big, shiny eyes. "please?"

you hesitate — if it were up to you, you wouldn't stay in this house, the one you once lived in any longer. "sorry, pumpkin. i think we should go. wouldn't wanna intrude on daddy's space any longer."

you hate the look on satoru's face when you refer to him in the same way your daughter does. fucking pervert.

"you two can stay as long as you want," satoru interjects smoothly. he smiles lazily, kneeling down to your daughter's height and ruffling her hair. "it's kinda late, isn't it? i'd hate for you to have to drive all the way back in the dark."

"yeah, mummy!" your daughter says, nodding along to satoru's words. "i'm tired."

you wince and ignore the smug grin on satoru's face as he stands back up with a soft grunt. "we should head home, kiddo. i bet your dad has work to do, and we have our own house."

satoru frowns slightly at the last statement, but he doesn't even consider shooting back — not in front of his daughter. "sweetheart," he says to you, voice coated in that sickeningly sweet tone that you hated, "it's late. and i don't have any work."

when satoru sees the way you scowl at him, a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. "you have any other reasons why you wanna leave?"

none that you need to know.

both your ex-husband and your daughter, who takes after her dad more, take your silence as grudging agreement.

"hey, kid, d'you want to go to bed?" satoru fondly asks your daughter, ruffling her hair again. when she nods, sleepiness evident in her eyes, satoru scoops her up and carries her off to her room without looking back.

when they turn the corner into your daughter's room, you sigh and plop down on satoru's couch. your ex-husband was an infuriatingly good father, and it pissed you off.

a couple minutes later, satoru strolls out of the room, closing the door gently behind him.

"so, babe, you dating anyone?" satoru says conversationally as he plops down on the couch next to you. he's close enough to make you tense, but stays just out of your personal space.

"what's it to you if i am?" you mutter, ignoring the pet name. you know that if you tell him to stop, he'll just say it more, so you don't bother.

he scoffs and faces you, resting his back against the arm of the couch. "what's up your ass today?"

"fuck off, satoru."

satoru whistles and tsks at you, shaking his head. "language, sweetheart. you kiss our daughter with that mouth?"

after a couple seconds, his expression softens and he studies your face carefully. "what's on your mind?"

and just like that, you're back to the times when the two of you were happy. back when satoru wasn't such a dipshit and actually cared about how you felt.

unfortunately, those times were over.

long over, you remind yourself as you dig your nails into the palm of your hand. "nothing you need to be concerned about," you reply. your tone is clipped, and the words come out harsher than you meant them to.

satoru doesn't seem to mind. in fact, he has a lopsided grin on his face as he scoots closer to you, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.

"you wanna fuck it out?"

his words are so unexpected that your mouth almost drops open. thankfully, it doesn't, but a couple minutes later, your legs do.

"fuckkk," you moan, tilting your head back as satoru's tongue trails a stripe up your slit.

"keep it down, sweetheart," satoru says without looking up. "don't wan' to wake up our daughter, do ya?"

you hum in response, physically covering your mouth with one of your hands to muffle the sounds escaping the confines of your lips.

in the year that you and satoru had ended things until now, you'd slept with a couple guys. you'd even dated one or two of them, but god, none of them could use their mouth like satoru could.

satoru can't help but smile as he eats you out, pulling away momentarily to shake his head at you. "tsk, you were so mean to me earlier. and now look at you." he dips his head to nip at your clit and grins when he feels you flinch.

"i've barely even started and you're already drippin' all over my sheets," he mutters, lips brushing against your inner thigh. "fuck, takin' my tongue so good, you little slut."

"satoru, i w-wanna cum," you mewl, shuddering when his tongue re-enters your folds. "wan' you inside me."

"i already am, dummy."

you feebly attempt to swat his head in response before scowling and insisting that he knew what you meant.

satoru scoffs as he pulls himself up to face level to you. he readjusts his position over you so your back is pressed into the mattress underneath him before pressing his lips to your ear.

"let's put that mouth of yours to use, yeah?" he mumbles, slipping two fingers underneath his sweatpants' waistband and tugging him off.

it's been years since you last fucked with satoru, and in that time you had forgotten just how pretty he was. you'd never admit it out loud, but you really didn't mind the reminder. setting into a comfortable position, you wrap your lips around his cock, relishing the way his moans get louder and louder.

you hum slightly, resisting the urge to smile when you feel satoru shake from the vibration. but god, his reaction when you run your tongue over his tip? priceless.

"fuck, baby, it's been too long since you've sucked me off. forgot how good you were- aah," he cuts himself off with a breathy moan. "fuckkk."

you briefly stop to look up at him with a cheeky smile. "you still moan like a girl, satoru."

"and you're as much of a slut for me as ever," he grumbles, reaching down and pushing your head into his painfully hard cock again. "d-don't stop, baby. feels s' good."

satoru's moans only get louder from there, until you have to be the one reminding him that your daughter's asleep two doors down.

"m' gonna cum," he whines, grabbing a handful of your hair and tangling his long fingers in it. "swallow all of it, yeah? don't waste a drop."

you nod your head obiediently, using your tongue just the way you know he's always liked to push him closer and closer to the edge until–

"fuckin' whore," satoru gasps, groaning loudly as he cums in your mouth, hips grinding against your face. "aah, missed your s-slutty tongue, baby, fuck."

"missed your girly moans," you manage to gasp before his tip hits the back of your throat, painfully so.

"shut up and swallow," satoru commands, tugging on your hair just enough to make you cry out. "yeah, who's moaning like a slut now, hmm?"

after you swallow all his cum and lick your now-swollen lips, satoru has you open your mouth so he can check.

"good girl, looks like there's at least one thing you can do right, even if it is just sucking me off. c'mere," he mutters, pinning you down on the mattress and making the bedsprings creak loudly. "m' gonna fuck you, m'kay?"

you nod, reaching out to stroke his saliva-covered cock. "y-yes, please, satoru."

your ex-husband, who you should really not be fucking with, looks down at you with a smirk and takes your hand, bringing it up to his lips. "you look so pretty, baby. all covered in my cum, never looked hotter."

he nudges your legs apart with his knee before pushing himself into you, gritting his teeth through a smug grin when you cry out in pain. "careful, baby. wouldn't wanna wake up our daughter with your slutty moans, would ya?"

"s-satoru, hurts s' much," you whine, pawing at his chest. "you're too big, i can't-"

"you're too big, i can't," satoru mocks, rolling his eyes. "how do you think our daughter was made, baby? did the storks just drop her off?"

his next thrust is particularly harsh, and something about your pained cry almost makes him cum again on the spot. "fuck, we should do this more often," satoru cooes, reaching up and stroking your cheek. "wait, you cryin'?"

yes, you were crying. your cheeks were wet with a mixture of your tears and the remainder of his cum from earlier, and fuck, all you could think about was satoru's cock. so much for being so over him.

satoru laughs, shaking his head and slowing his pace to give you a kiss. "just when i thought you couldn't get any prettier, you gotta go and prove me wrong," he mumbles, licking his lips. "god, you're fucking beautiful."

he presses his lips to yours again, this time letting his tongue slip into your mouth. "i missed you so much, baby. i still do," he mutters in between kisses. he's controlling the pace, purposefully making each kiss's ending sudden as to not allow you to talk — only him.

"you know how many times i've jacked off to you?" satoru breaths, reaching down to grab your thighs and push you impossibly deeper into him. "you know how fuckin' much i want to put a ring on your finger?"

"satoru, i-" you try to say, but his mouth is on yours before you can finish your sentence. and a couple seconds later, more words are waterfalling out of him.

"fuck, baby, you have no idea. i fucked up, but i swear i've changed. c'mon, give me one chance, i-"

"mummy? daddy?"

you and satoru both flinch and whip your heads towards the door when you hear your daughter's voice, preparing to make up some far-fetched story to tell her besides we were fucking.

thankfully, the universe allows you two seconds to cover yours and satoru's bodies with a blanket before your daughter opens the door and pokes her head inside. "i heard noises."

you look at satoru for help making up an excuse, and thankfully he has one ready to go.

"oh, we were just watching a movie," he lies, running a hand through his hair. "go back to bed, kiddo. we'll tuck you back in in a second, yeah?"

your daughter looks at you before looking back at satoru and nodding.

"close the door, please!" you call as she turns to leave. when the door shuts behind her, you let out a long exhale and bury your head in satoru's chest.

and to your horror, the door opens once more.

your daughter looks at you with shiny, curious eyes. "mommy, are you and daddy back together?"

satoru saves you from having to answer that impossible question with a laugh, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer. "go back to bed, pumpkin. i'll be there to tuck you in."

ten seconds after the door shuts for what you hope is the final time, you turn and glare at satoru. "you're gonna tuck her in?"

satoru scoffs in mock disbelief, raising his eyebrows and pointedly looking you up and down. "if you wanna tuck in our four year old daughter covered in my cum, be my guest."

you nudge his arms off of you and bury your face in a pillow, groaning softly. "fuck you, satoru."

"love you too, sweetheart."

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youreverydayfangirl · 17 days

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but daddy i love him

pairing: charles leclerc x australian! reader

summary: where people have things to say about your relationship, or in which it all gets to much for y/n

warning: age gap relationship, slutshaming, angst, death threats

a/n: i have a pt 3 planned don't worry guys

pt 1 is here!!! pt 3 is here!!!

f1 masterlist

main masterlist

arthurleclerc has posted one story

caption: best future sister in law

liked by charlesleclerc, yourusername and 24, 386 others

charlesleclerc how is she

arthurleclerc shes fine

charlesleclerc take care of her please

arthurleclerc ofc i will

yourusername HELP whyd you post this one

arthurleclerc cause you low key look weird asf 🤷🏼

arthurleclerc also im legit standing next to you whyd you have to text me

user1 so she got to you

arthurleclerc leave her alone man shes legit done nothing

user2 ew

arthurleclerc how bout you fuck off

yourusername has posted one story

caption: revenge

liked by charlesleclerc, arthurleclerc and 345, 795 others

charlesleclerc hes gonna kill you

yourusername oh well

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yourusername you like me to much too

arthurleclerc true

user1 slut

user2 going for the more age appropriate one now

user3 cant just have one can you

yourusername has posted

liked by charlesleclerc, olivia rodrigo and 3, 278, 217 others

yourusername happy international womens day. celebrating the women closest to me

tagged: lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo, carla.brocker, yourmothersusername, pascaleleclerc

francisca.cgomes my fav omg

→ yourusername your literally the bestest friend in the whole world

lilymhe hate that photo tbh

→ yourusername wdym you literally look STUNNING

→ user1 shes so not a girls girl

sabrinacarpenter not stop i miss you

→ yourusername i miss you more girl

oliviarodrigo well hangout when your tour finished trust

→ yourusername ofc i wouldn't have it any other way

carla.brocker thank you for dealing with arthur today omg

→ yourusername lol sure anytime

→ arthurleclerc HEYYY

→ user2 ew shes such a slut

→ arthurleclerc pipe down user2

yourmothersusername my gorgeous daughter

→ yourusername love you mummy

yourmothersusername my gorgeous daughter

→ yourusername love you mummy

pascaleleclerc couldn't be happier to have you in our family

liked by creator

pascaleleclerc thank you for taking charles off our plates

→ yourusername ofc but you have to take him on saturday hes getting clingy

→ charlesleclerc heyy

→ yourusername sorry mon amor but its true

user3 she saw twitter and had to shut it down real quick

→ user4 no fr tryna act like they acc like her

yourusername has posted

liked by francisca.cgomes, charlesleclerc and 4, 786, 374 others

yourusername life before i have to go back on tour

tagged: fransisca.cgomes, gomezzzlife

charlesleclerc 🤍

fransisca.cgomes STUNNING

→ yourusername SAYS YOU

user1 acting as if its a chore to be on tour

user2 imagine not liking your fiances comment

→ user3 no fr fr

user4 go die slut

yourusername has posted

caption: race day

liked by charlesleclerc, francsica.cgomes and 128, 879 others

charlesleclerc you look gorgeous today

yourusername charlie 🤍

francisca.cgomes HOT

user1 ABSOLUETLY NOT

user2 byeee

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yourusername but daddy i love him out now

COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN DISABLED

INCOMING PHONECALL

charles

my love

whats going on

you

charlie

im sorry

you

i just can't do this anymore

its all too much

charles

what

what are you talking about

you

i can't do us anymore

i love you so much

but everythings to much

their all to much

charles

fuck them

they don't know our relationship

they don't know how much i'm in love with you

please we can figure something out

you

i can't charlie

i'm sorry

i just need space

CALL ENDED

charlesleclerc has posted one story

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COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN LIMITED

__________________________

a/n: part two guys!!! lmk if you want a pt3 becuase i have one planned.

#formula 1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc smau

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crypticminx · 5 months

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More girl dad! Felix bc I have baby fever like soooo baddd ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹

The day called for perfect weather.

Clear blue sunny skies without a single cloud gracing its presence. The air was inviting and utterly warm, but not to the point where humidity only made those outside drenched in sweat.

It was on this day that Felix found himself spending the entirety of his usual packed days at home—a rare occasion for the profound business man.

He was never the type of man to let his work come first and kept himself disciplined in a sense that he found balance and separation in terms of a busy work life and home life. Thus, making him feel exceptionally grateful for the fact that he could finally take a well deserved day off.

“How does this look, princess?” Felix turned to the little girl sitting beside him, her white babydoll dress already painted with grass and a tiny bit of gravel—something her mother was not going to be pleased with.

“Very good daddy!” She joyfully cheered, clapping her delicate hands to prove a point in congratulating her father.

Felix, who tried his hardest not to wipe his forehead with his soil stained hands, gradually passed the pink gardening shovel to his daughter. Completing the first step of digging a hole wide enough for the rootballs that would later on stem into stunning roses just outside the castles main entrance.

Gardening.

The gardens in saltburn were more emaculate than any garden you could see displayed in a catalog waiting to be purchased in the shops. From vibrant greens of trees older than any of the residents and heavenly grown flowers that looked like they belonged above, it was certainly something miles away from what most had ever witnessed.

A gardeners wildest fantasy painted into reality.

“Did you want to ask mummy to make the bone meal for the soil?” Felix politely asked his daughter, noticing her adorable cherubic face turn almost smitten. He knew she was hiding something from that devious expression and it made want to do nothing more than to scoop her up in a big hug.

“I’ve already made it daddy!” She giggled, pulling the mix that rested in a glass jar from behind her. “And I did it without mummy’s help.”

“My smart girl,” Felix wiped his dirty hand with a washcloth they brought outside before ruffling his fingers in her soft brown curls. She scrunched her button nose as a response, her eyes twinkling with adoration.

“Now, baby, why don’t you go get the roses and then we can start preparing them?”

She nodded her head, loose strands of hair swaying in motion. She was quick in dusting off any remaining dirt that laid on her dress before running off to grab the remaining materials they needed.

Felix’s eyes never left her tiny body as she hastily ran off into the distance as if her little life depended on it. He couldn’t restrain himself from chuckling at the cute scene unfolding before him.

It was times like these that he cherished the most with all of his heart.

#felix catton x you #saltburn #felix catton #felix catton x reader #felix catton x y/n #jacob elordi #girl dad! felix catton #dad! felix catton #girl dad!felix catton #dad!felix catton

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monasterymadness · 2 years

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I always get kind of sad thinking about mummies. It's easy to forget that people from the past were people, they become faceless stereotypes assigned to any given time period you're thinking about. But the mummies are preserved corpses that serve as reminders how they were all real human beings with real personalities and ideas and ambitions and emotions and how they died centuries ago and have almost entirely been forgotten by the world, they cease being the corpses of a human being and become archeological pieces of study. Maybe it's just because I haven't slept in a while.

#mummies #history #rambles #i know this means nothing but #its my sideblog and i will get feels about mummies #i love them all

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saekkas · 1 year

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐄

summary: you've been pulling all-nighters and michael kaiser isn't happy about that. good thing he has a trick to lure you into bed with him.

w.c: 1.6k

notes: don't be fooled by the pictures. the only kitty cat in this fic is kaiser <3

the digital clock by your side is silent, no ticking to announce the seconds that are trickling by so quickly. time is slipping through your fingers like sand, and you can only watch, pushing past the grainy texture.

everything is starting to feel like a bubble, wrapped in a haze of focus. the sound of blowing AC is minimal, no more hustle of honking cars, and the world is quiet as your eyes sting from the tablet light, drooping in exhaustion.

all is well. at least, until that bubble breaks.

"how are you still sitting there even after all these hours?"

kaiser pads into the living room, shirtless with only some sweats hung low on his waist. every single one of his steps are confident, as if he's set out on a mission he's determined to complete. he fans himself with a hand, walking over to where you're seated on the living room couch. "are you a zombie? or has my angel finally turned into a mummy?"

there are dark circles under your eyes, generated by the hours upon hours of work you've been putting in. every movement feels sluggish; the tablet in your hand feels heavy, as if something's tugging you and your body to lie down on the comfortable cushioned furniture. lack of sleep and too much caffeine, probably.

you can see the way he's eyeing you, a borderline mix of anger, annoyance, and sleepiness wrapped into a person that is him. you don't know whether to be threatened or intrigued by it.

"come here, baby. let's get you to bed, okay?" kaiser leans in close to you, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "i can't let you work yourself down to the bone. you've got me, remember? my card's for you to use."

his movements are too gentle, too smooth and the way he's smiling so sweetly at you, batting his eyes, makes you wonder what he has planned. when you feel the telltale signs of his fingers around your hand, you glare, pressing the tablet to your chest. kaiser's always been a smooth predator, he knows how to get what he wants.

"you look like a feral raccoon," he laughs, sitting right beside you on the couch. "i have a thing for pandas. not trash pandas."

this time, he leans in to press himself into the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist as he all but curls into your frame. his shoulders slump and he sighs, happily nuzzling his face into your skin. "you smell lovely, liebling."

"mikka," you sigh as he starts to leave gentle kisses on your skin. he's nothing if not trouble but you won't lie to yourself, his presence always brings comfort even if he does end up distracting you from your work most of the time. "shouldn't you be asleep?"

the digital clock on the desk looks back at you, the gleaming red numbers clear. 12:03 AM. you frown, placing your hand on the crook of his neck, playing with the hair that's found its place there.

"aren't you tired?" his body relaxes, curling more around your frame like a cat does with its mother. you can only chuckle when he tries tugging the tablet out of your hands. "what's gotten into you?"

for one, your lover never goes to bed past 10 PM. it's part of the routine you both have. whenever he's home, you follow his routine down to the t. it starts with breakfast at 8 AM, lunch at 1 PM, dinner at 6 PM, and cuddles sprinkled throughout. then you let him drag you to sleep by 9 PM, snuggling against each other like it's the first time you've both shared a bed.

the pout he's sporting tells you he isn't happy that it didn't happen tonight.

"mikka, go to bed. i'll be with you in just a sec." the words are nothing but a lie and you both know it. if it weren't, he'd be happily drooling with his hands around you in bed by now.

kaiser snorts, his pout turning into a frown. he's displeased and it shows in the way that he's started to tug your tablet harder, determined to get you into bed with him. you can feel him shake against your neck, and you tilt your head, surprised when he leans back with a victorious smile and your tablet in his hand.

"mikka." the threat in your voice is clear as you raise your hand, asking him for the tablet back nicely. "i need that back. give it to me, please."

"you know i can't do that." the pout he shows you is absolutely sweet; one you've seen him use dozens of times to get his way. one you have yet found a way to refuse. "i can't sleep while my fiancée works."

there it is. there's that word again. fiancée. another trick he's been using to get his way. "right, fiancée?" he repeats, tucking his hands under your legs and back to lift you into his arms.

"besides, i'm more important than whatever your working on. after all, i'm your fiancé." he nuzzles his face into yours as he walks, playfully biting your nose with a giggle.

you can only glare when he grins at your flustered expression.

"shuddup. you're so annoying." kaiser smells oddly sweet, a mixture of scents that don't usually linger on him, and as you lean your forehead against his collarbone, he's quick to place you on the bed, hurriedly pinning you under him right after. "mikka!"

"let me see." his tone is a mixture of laughter and whines, and his eyes sparkle brightly, similar to the diamond studded ring that now sits on your finger. he holds your wrists, dragging them away to reveal your face, flushed and all. "there's my pretty."

there's a silence that comes after, one that he fills with a loving gaze and a haughty smirk. he leans down, pressing himself against you, and nuzzles into your neck with his hands wrapped tightly around your waist.

he clearly has a thing for your neck.

the press of his body on yours is heavy but it's something you're used to. kaiser is someone who thrives with physical contact and combined with the summer heat, he's been a menace. he insists on latching onto you like a koala every single day. not that you mind. especially not when he's shirtless like he is now.

"aren't you hot?" you mumble, trailing a finger down his back. you watch as he shivers at the action, goosebumps rising on his skin. "we might both experience heat stroke if we keep cuddling like this."

"yes, i am hot." comes his answer which you snort at. he grins at the sound, lifting his head to look into your eyes. "don't act all coy. i know you love it when my tattoo's on show."

your eyes dart down to his arm at his words, taking in the thorny roses that slither up the skin. they're stark, inky black against his pale arm. you follow their path up to his neck, marveling the rose on his skin that perfectly matches his hair and eyes.

"see," he teases smugly, leaning in to press a kiss on your lips. "you can't resist me."

you blink at that, looking at him with wide eyes.

"what?" a grin makes its way onto his lips as kaiser places his head on your belly, kissing you through your pajamas. "something you wanna ask?"

something is different about him. not in the way he looks, not in the way he behaves but in the way he smells. your eyes narrow before widening in realization. "you're wearing lip gloss?" you prop yourself on your elbows, using a hand to pull him up. "lemme taste."

kaiser grins, smug as he lets you maneuver him all you want. with every peck that's placed on his lips, his grin grows bigger and bigger until he looks like a chesire cat.

"is that why you smell different?" you mumble, tilting your head to press against his lips harder. he responds in kind, wrapping his hands around your waist tighter as if you're going to disappear if he doesn't. "what flavor is that? cherry?"

when he finally lets you pull away, your lips are red and swollen, playfully bitten by the man in front of you. his gaze stays on them, smiling smugly as he nods.

"yeah. after all, i'm the one that gets to pop your-"

there's a groan that comes when you push him off. you giggle, hovering above him from the bed. sprawled on the floor, your big bad fiancé looks nothing like his fierce persona on the field. if anything, he looks like a startled starfish. "that's what you get for being so annoying."

there's a glint in his eye that has you backing up on the bed. seconds later, he's back on his feet, tackling you into the pillows. the sound of laughter fills the room and as you pant, hovering above him, you cradle his face in your hand. your future, your world, your everything.

"i can't wait to marry you," you whisper, one hand trailing hearts on the rose that sits on his neck. "i can't believe you roped me into this."

"i guess i'm just that charming." he laughs, pulling your body down until you're straddling his lap. his hands are gentle as they trail down your thighs in return, squeezing the fat around your hips. "i can't wait either. especially for-"

"one more word and i'm banishing you to the couch."

"will you be on the couch with me? because if you will-"

"mikka."

"yes ma'am."

#blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock fluff #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser imagines #kaiser x reader #kaiser imagines #michael kaiser fluff #michael kaiser x y/n #michael kaiser x you #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #bllk x reader #bllk x female reader #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you #blue lock headcanons #kaiser fluff

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kmt123whatsthetea · 5 months

Text

The art of having kids

Fred Weasley x reader x George Weasley

Requested by: @jelloangela

Request gist: “Overstimulation and breeding with the Weasley twins”

A/N: Thanks for the request! When it comes to the twins, magic must be real cause I'm under some sort of horny spell lol. I don't know why this one took me so long, writer's block has me in a choke hold.

T/W: Breeding, Overstimulation, Praise, sweet nicknames (I went for one's different than usual), a teeny bit of nipple play (thought I’d add a warning anyway), no aftercare

The day had been such a drag at the joke shop. Normal customers looking at the same old stock. The twins had been at the till all day just people watching. At around 4pm, a couple came in with a small boy. The boy looked so excited by all the colours and noises that the shop provided. He was giggling and touching everything in his reach. His parents trailed behind him, putting everything back in its designated place.

Normally, customers touching things and putting them down would be one of the worst things a retail worker could come across, but this kid was so adorable. After the small family had left, the twins turned to each other. The shared look only meant one thing, you were in for a rough night.

____________________________________________

You had been upstairs in the flat above the shop preparing dinner for when the twins locked up. At first when you hear them running up the stairs, you thought something bad was happening, like a fire or a howler from Mrs Weasley.

The twins practically burst through the door and pulled you out of the kitchen, directing you towards the bedroom before you could even ask questions. Fred was in front of you pulling you by yours hands while George was behind you pushing you with eager hands on your waist. They often got like this, where they’d just ambush you and start tugging at whatever you were wearing.

Fred sat on the edge of the bed, pulling you to stand between his legs while George trapped you there with his slim body. Fred tugged your jeans down along with your underwear, George pulled your blouse up. Both twins worked towards the same thing, getting you as bare as possible, as quick as possible.

When they achieved their goal of getting you naked, they both watched you the same way a hungry owl would watch a lost baby bunny, just waiting to strike with sharp talons. Fred stood up, pushing you onto the bed in his place. The boys stripped off their suits until they both stood before you in their underwear.

“Isn’t our girl so pretty and perfect, Georgie? She’s gonna make an amazing mother”

Fred’s words caught you off guard a little, but didn't put you off. George sat next to you and tutted at his brother.

“Freddie, you’re gonna scare our pretty girl away. How does it sound, angel? Being a pretty mummy for our babies? We’ll keep you so full of our cum until it takes, until you become so round and swollen. Just think of how perfect you’d look with a swollen tummy all because of us”.

George always had a way of talking you into kinky situations. Fred has always been the one to jump at the chance to try a new kink, whereas George would sit you down and discuss it first. He’d give you those puppy dog eyes that only he could and you’d be nodding, eager to try it. And nothing changed this time around.

You nodded, giving the boys the green light to do whatever they pleased. George's lips connected with your neck while Fred snaked his hands to your thighs, pulling your legs around his hips. Fred moved his tip up and down your slit, bumping it against your clit in an effort to get you wetter. George left marks along the skin of your neck while his hand made its way to rub over your nipples, which were slowly hardening beneath his rough fingers.

When Fred felt you were wet enough, he pushed in. Even when he was balls deep, he didn't stop to let you adjust. Fred had always claimed that you never needed to adjust, because they fucked you on a daily basis.

His thrusts were slow but deep, wanting to keep as much on his cock buried inside of you as he could. His hands gripped your hips, keeping you exactly where he wanted you. George's lips moved along your neck and up to your ear.

“Does he feel good, baby? You like having him deep in that little pussy? I bet you do. We’re gonna take care of you. Can’t have the mother of our children lifting a finger, now can we?”

The thought of the twins getting you pregnant caused a moan to slip past your lips. Both boys knew that they had won you over. They'd keep you bed bound until there was a positive pregnancy test if they had to. Fred’s thrusts slowly got quicker, while his hand moved to rub at your clit. He always did that when he got the chance to fuck you, loving the way your walls squeezed around him.

Fred’s eyes locked onto yours, his breath coming out in groans.

“You wanna cum, pretty baby? Get my cock all nice and wet and I’ll fuck a baby into you”

His fingers got quicker circling your clit, and then it hit you. Your walls squeezed Freds cock as you came. George kept his hand busy with your tits while whispering sweet words in your ear. But Fred didn’t slow down. His thrusts stayed the same rhythm, which eventually led to your moans turning to whines and your legs trying to close around his waist to stop the onslaught of pleasure. Fred held your thighs apart, while George directed your attention onto him with his voice.

“Sweet girl, if you want Freddie to fill you up, you need to stay still. Don't want him to pull out, do you?”

Although the pain was intertwined with the pleasure, you still shook your head at the very thought of him pulling out. Fred kept going, slowly bringing you to the brink again. All it took was another orgasm from you to make his thrusts turn sloppy and his cock pulse. With a low groan, he buried himself deep within your pussy, making sure every last drop of his cum would stay inside of you where it belonged. After catching his breath, he turned to George.

“Get up here, it’s gonna all leak out when I pull out”

George got up from his place next to you to stand beside his brother. As soon as Fred pulled out, George pushed in. Fred sat next to you, trying to gently shush the whimper that threatened to escape your lips. George slowly built up to a quick pace, his eyebrows furrowing at Fred who was rubbing your clit.

“Fred, she can't handle more. I bet in this state, she couldn't even tell us apart”.

George was always the caregiver. While Fred insisted that you could take more, always drawing another orgasm from you, George was the one who would be reluctant to push you. It wasn't that he didn't like seeing you in such a blissed out state or didn't think you could handle an orgasm or two, he didn’t like those little pouts and whimpers when the pleasure morphed with pain.

“Oh come on Georgie, our girl can handle it. She’s not made of glass, she can take it. Can’t you, sweets?”

Even after a couple of orgasms, you weren’t completely in subspace. You nodded at George, hoping to ease his worries.

“Please Georgie, I can take it. I want you to fill me up. Please Georgie?”

How could George ever say no to you?

His thrusts got rougher, desperate to give you what you asked. That building pleasure was quick to release, giving you your third orgasm of the night. George kept thrusting, although somewhat reluctantly. When he felt his own orgasm approaching, his thrusts got more manic. Soon, his cum spurted inside of you, mixing with both your own juices and Fred cum. George slowly pulled out, while Fred picked your underwear up and slipped in back up your legs. He was determined to keep it all inside you.

Even if it didn't take the first time, you could always try again the next night.

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mead-iocre · 3 days

Text

Squeak! | Viviannne Miedema x Wife!Reader

synopsis: the best thing about writing fiction is that you could do whatever you want. In this one, Viv signs a new contract with Arsenal.

warnings: nothing. just pure fluff

word count: 2.5k

———————

Squeak! Squeak!

You smile at the sight of your two loves walking hand in hand ahead of you. One was tall, dressed in a full Arsenal kit minus the football boots, and her hair in its signature messy bun. The other one was small, tiny by comparison, and her hair was split into two cute little pigtails. She was dressed in a romper that should not have taken as long as it did to put on this morning, but as a mum you have learned to pick and choose your battles, and letting your two-year old decide what to wear to mama’s special day was a fight you were not going to win.

Hence why your daughter is currently strutting around the Emirates stadium in her favourite yellow trainers, embossed with little yellow ducks. And they squeak with every step too.

Every. Single. Step.

You mentally curse Lotte for the shoes, a gift she had given Evie for her last birthday and ever since then they were your little girl’s favourite shoes. Lotte was also kind enough to buy the shoes in multiple sizes, so you won’t be parting with the squeaky shoes any time soon.

“Mummy!” You snap out of your thoughts at the sound of Evie’s voice. She and Viv were a few steps in front of you, your daughter was looking back at you and pointing towards the sliver view of the pitch peaking up ahead. “the pitch, mummy!”

You smile and speed up sightly, catching up to the two. When you reach them, you smooth a hand down Evie’s hair, pushing back the little curls that have escaped her pigtails.

“Mama play football? Aunty Steffy where?”

“No, Ducky. Mama’s just going to take pictures– for the contract signing, remember” Viv picks up Evie in her arms, and your little girl happily snuggles in her mama’s arms. You and Viv share a look over your daughter’s head, with you telephonically thanking her with your eyes for putting an end to the squeaking nosies. You mentally remind yourself to hide the squeaking shoes at the back of the cupboard later.

You, Viv with Evie in her arms, and the photographer walk through the tunnel until you reach the pitch; the slightly tangy, earthly smell of the freshly cut grass is almost jarring. You could hear the photographer explain to Viv how he wants the photos to look, and you almost laugh when you spot your daughter now sitting up in Viv’s arms– her eyes bright and little cherubic face listening to the photographer just as intently as her mama. People always say Evie looks like you– but her expressions and mannerisms are all Viv.

“Okay. Let’s take a couple of pictures with you standing in the middle of the pitch, facing the south stand and then we’ll take a few by the stands” With a thumbs up, the photographer goes over to a little studio set up and already waiting on the pitch.

“Right. Mama’s got to go take pictures now, Ducky.” Viv crouches and places Evie down, doing her best to ignore the pout already forming on her little lips. “Stay with Mummy, okay”

But another trait your daughter had adopted from her mama is her stubbornness. “Ducky go to! Ducky take pictures, pleeeease” Evie drawing out the ‘e’, her sweet drawl a mix of both of yours and Viv's accents. She hugs Viv’s leg, looking up at her mama with those pretty doe eyes.

Evie knows exactly how to play her mama. Viv would do anything for your daughter, especially when she would look up at her with the same eyes that mirror yours. You try to stifle a laugh when your wife looks to you for help, her hazel eyes pleading with you to be the bad guy this time because she was definitely not going to do it. You knew that if you did not step in, Viv would do the photoshoot with her daughter on her hip just because Evie demanded it.

“Ducky, come stay with mummy. We can play football while we wait for Mama” You reach into your bag and pull out a soft mini football, waving it enticingly at your sitting pouty daughter. At the sight of the ball, you see Evie’s grip on Viv's leg loosen slightly.

Just like her footballer Mama, your daughter loved football. You and Viv had signed her up for classes as soon as she could run on her little chubby legs, and so far she looked forward to all of her weekly lessons.

You step closer, crouching down and opening your arms for her. “Come on, Ducky. Maybe you can have a turn for photos with Mama later”

“Photos with Mama? later?” Evie looks up to Viv for confirmation, and when she gets a nod in return, your daughter grins and skips straight into your arms. Crisis averted.

Viv leans down to give you a kiss, pecking your lips sweetly before giving Evie a raspberry on neck which earns her that sweet melodic giggle. “I’ll be quick, love. Have fun with Mummy, Ducky”

With one last smooch for the both of you, she turns and walks off.

You and Evie watch as Viv jogs towards where the photographer is waiting. You were so proud of her. She had been contemplating this for a while– whether to sign a contract extension or begin a new challenge somewhere else. You could tell Viv has been yearning for something new, never someone who likes to settle and be comfortable. She thrives off of being spontaneous (the opposite of you), and not making plans.

Before having Evie, Viv would angsty when she has nothing to do at home. For a while, Viv had expressed the possibility of wanting to transfer clubs and you were supportive of her. You were lucky enough to have a job that allowed you to work remotely from anywhere, so the only thing that you both would need to worry about is finding a new toddler football class for your daughter. However, Viv felt that now was not the time for a change as big as this one. She has a lot of ties to Arsenal, not just contractually but personally. She loved her teammates– teammates that have quickly become family over the years. It would’ve been really hard to leave all of that behind.

So she agreed to the contract extension during the last meeting, and since then it’s been like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders. Now, she is taking pictures for the announcement, which you have no doubt fans are eagerly anticipating based on the buzz on social media.

You are snapped out of your thoughts when the football you were holding is snatched out of your hands.

“play ball, Mummy! Ducky play now!” Evie places the ball onto the ground, and then takes a few steps back. You laugh when her face contorts into an expression you have seen so often on your wife’s face whenever she’s on the football pitch– eyes narrowed into little slits, rosy lips pressed tight together in concentration– a mini Viv in the making.

Evie runs as fast as her little legs could carry her towards the football. She kicks the ball with her left leg, sending it rolling a few feet away, and then proceeds to run after it; her little blonde curls bouncing behind her, and her yellow shoes squeaking alongside her.

After Viv finishes taking pictures around the pitch– even taking a few with you and Evie as she promised– you are led into the office where the contract signing and the final picture-taking is due to happen. You and Viv greet Jonas with a hug, and he enthusiastically high-fives Evie, oohing-and-ahhing over her yellow shoes when she points them out to him.

You spot the familiar looking set up where numerous of contract signings have taken place over the past couple of years. The white backdrop littered with Arsenal logos, the mahogany brown desk, and the matching chair that bares the physical contract and a pen beside it, just waiting to be signed.

“Love, they want pictures of us” Viv waves you over to another spot in the room that overlooks the pitch thanks to the floor-to-ceiling windows. Quickly checking on Evie, you find her standing by the desk, fully engrossed in staring at the wall displaying the club’s history and relics. You make your way over to stand beside Viv.

“We’ll just a couple photos of the two of you here, and then we can move onto the signing” The photographer tells you both, a camera poised and ready in his hands. You lean into Viv, feeling her wrap an arm around your waist to pull you close, and you both smile for the photo. The photographer counts you down for the picture just as Viv lets out the biggest full-body sneeze you had ever witnessed.

"Achoo!"

The sound was so sudden and forceful that everyone, including the photographer, jumped. Viv's hair blew up comically, and her face scrunched up in an exaggerated sneeze expression. The photographer, momentarily startled, managed to snap the photo just at that moment.

For a split second, there was silence, and then the entire room bursts into laughter– with your laugh being the loudest. You had tears pooling in the corner of your eyes by the time you managed to calm yourself down. After getting over her initial embarrassment, Viv couldn’t help but laugh along, hiding her face behind you.

Squeak! Squeak!

“Oh god” Viv wipes at her nose, her cheeks still slightly pink. “Sorry ‘bout that everyone!” You palm her face towards your to access any damage.

“You’re good, love. No discharge” There’s a huge cheeky grin on your face.

“Gross. Don’t call it that” Viv rolls her eyes, but gives you a shy smile, still embarrassed by the whole thing.

“Would you rather I call it snot then?” “No!” Viv laughs and then turns to the photographer. “Let’s take another one, and this time I’ll try my best not to sneeze”

“–but she can’t promise that” “–no promises though” You both say at the same time, drawing more chuckles from everyone in the room.

Squeak! Squeak!

The photographer turns to the two of you and you both resume your poses from earlier. With one hand on the shutter button and the hand counting down from 3, the photographer takes the pictures. You paste a smile on your face, leaning into Viv

Squeak!

“Mama! Mummy! Ducky draw! Ducky draw!”

You’re pretty sure you got whiplash from how quickly your head snap towards where your daughter’s voice was coming from. You crane your head and sure enough, she was jumping up and down gleefully, aggressively waving a white piece of paper in one hand like she was one of those flag wavers at the end of a race. In her other hand you can see what looks to be a pen.

Squeak!

“Evelyn!” “Evelyn!”

Your daughter immediately stops jumping at the sound of her full name, the bright smile of her face dimming slightly. She knows it means that she’s in trouble. You and Viv rush over to where she’s standing right behind the desk, and sure enough Viv’s contract extension that is worth a lot of money is filled with scribbles and lines all across the bottom of the page.

You eye your wife, wanting to follow her lead on how to handle since this was supposed to be her day. Viv just stares at her contract that is now full of squiggly lines and illegible handwriting. For a moment only silence fills the room.

“…Well, guess you can’t sign me now. Someone already beat me to it!”

You break first, giggling, and soon the rest of the room follows.

“I reckon she’s a better signing than you, Viv” Jonas calls out from the other side of the room, beckoning more laughter.

In the midst of everyone laughing about the whole situation, Viv turns and crouches down to your daughter– the mini human sized embodiment of mischief and trouble. She’s quiet now, probably sensing that she’s in a bit of trouble.

“Ducky, this paper was very important and it was only for Mama to write on”

“Oh” A pout forms on your little rosy lips, and then silence as your toddler tries to make sense of the situation as best as she could at two.

“…sorry Mama” Evie rushes forward, throwing her arms around her Mama’s neck, almost throwing Viv off balance. Viv stands to her full height, toddler in her arms and gives you a wink.

“Thank you, Ducky. Next time, please ask Mama or Mummy first, okay, you can’t write on things that are not for you to write on, Ducky” Viv rocks her from side to side, her tone gentle yet firm, and so full of love.

Jonas walks over to you all and places a new, clean, squiggle-free copy of the contract on the table. “Thank god for printing machines. We can print as many copies as needed”

When it was finally time for Viv to sign the contract she was seated in front of a fresh, unwritten contract with a pen right beside it. Next to her, Evie was seated on her own chair– boosted up with a few pillows stacked on top of one another– with her very own copy of a contract and a pen.

You watch, standing behind Evie, as Viv signs the contract that will keep her at her home away from home for a few more seasons. A club of people and colleagues that have witnessed your relationship from the very beginning, have witnessed you grow from a family of two to a family of three, and a place that will continue to be your second home for the time being. You were so excited for what’s to come for Viv and the rest of the team.

As you watch your wife sign her name and signature on the dotted line, you glance over to her left and smile at the sight of your daughter doing the exact same thing– except she was drawing lines and squiggles on her very own contract.

For the first time in Arsenal’s club history, two people pose for their contract signing– Vivianne Midema and Evelyn Miedema.

two blurbs in one week?! who is sheeeeee

but I was feeling pretty inspired during the last couple of days, hence another fic featuring Viv and reader's daughter, Ducky. I had this idea before Viv announced that she was leaving Arsenal, but I still wanted to write it regardless lol.

I was just introduced to Stardew Valley on the switch and now I'm obsessed (I know I'm yearssss late).

I appreciate yall always,

-- butter.

#vivianne miedema #viv miedema #vivianne miedema x reader #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso blurbs #woso community #woso

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lw6-woso · 6 months

Text

not all sunshine and rainbows (wonze X child!reader)

travelling with a toddler could either go really bad or really good nothing inbetween, and it stress both your mothers a lot. it was the day of travelling all the way to Austrailia for the World cup. everyone was a little nervous for the trip, but nothing came close toLucy and keira. both girls had been planning for this trip for months, from inspiration to shopping it took a lot. you had never been on such a long plane ride before, and now that you are three it makes things a little bit more difficult with keeping you entertained for the 20 hour plain ride.

it was the morning of the flight and you felt a hand running up and down your back making you groan not happy to be woken up.

you slowly opened your eyes and saw your mama hanging over your cot "no mama seep time" you said to lucy trying to move away.

"come on lovey its morning we got to get breakfast" Lucy said to you, not wanting to make you grumpy and have you in a good mood for the day.

you slowly sat up and grabbed your bunny and blanket, you rocking major bedhead and lucy picked you up, kissing your head.

"big bed" you whispered as mama walked towards hers and mommys bed.

"yeah big bed gonna have some snuggles" mama said.

your mama drooped you on the bed and you instantly snuggled into your mummys bare chest. you looked on the bed side table and saw your dummy and reached for it and put it straight into your mouth snuggling back up

"hello my love whats with the dummy its morning time" mummy said but thankfuly didnt take it from you. you all snuggled for a little bit but unfortunatley you had to go for breakfast. your mums didnt get you changed out of your PJs and just sorted out your hair.

walking down to the lunch room and you ended up in your Mamas arms, still not funny awake, you still had your dummy in your mouth and in each hand was you bunny and blanket, at this point of the day your mama and mummy had realised that you were going to be quite clingy and just wanting to be in arms reach of both women.

your mummy got some food on your plate a little bit of each thing you pointed out and then you was sat next to leah whilst your mums went to get there own food, you sat happily eating your food, in silence. most of the girls where confused as they had never seen you this quiet you were normally dancing around, but not today.

your mama came back first and you gave her your dummy, which you did everytime you ate.

"thank you baby" she said kissing your head, and you went back to eating all your breakfast. once you ate all you breakfast leah asked you a question "ready ready to go on a plane today"

"big plane aunty lee lee" you said and she nodded.

"yeah i seep" you said figetting in your seat.

"your gonna sleep" she asked and you nodded.

you went over to you mama and sat in her lap and hid under her shirt.

"oh my little baby" mama said stroking your back.

once everyone finished breakfast sarina talked to everyone about today and then everyone left to do there own thing to prepare for the travel, the three of you went up to your room to pack everything and get your carry on bags ready. your mums were tag teaming with everything mama was packing the big bags and mummy was putting things in the small bags and getting you dressed.

"mummy bluey on pain" you said.

"yes baby we have movies as weel for the plane" she said and you went to sit next to her and watch.

"else" you said wanting to know what else.

"so your little bag you have snacks toys book lots of things to play with" she said.

"pull up" you said pointing to the several pull ups next to your bag.

"yes we want you to wear a pull up on the plane" she said and you nodded.

since you had just turned three a month ago you were still trying to get hold of potty training and with the amount of flying and change that will be happening today taking you having accidents both you mums wanted to take it out of the equation of problems that could occur.

"no acident" you said and Keira nodded glad you understood what was happening.

once all the bags were packed and at the door it was time to get on the coach. Mummy went to put the bags on the coach and you were sat with mama laid on the bed, your dummy back in your mouth.

"you going to be a good girl today" mama asked.

"yeah" you said through your dummy.

"so we are going to go on the big bus and then he big plane its going to be a lot of sitting down okay its a long time but if you want or need anything you got to tell me or mummy okay so we can help" she said and you nodded.

it was a little further into the day and you had reached the airport, the bus trip was good as you had a little nap on Leah's lap and you were now walking hand in hand with Leah walking towards security, when they all arrived to security, you were handed of to your mama, who gave you a kiss on the cheek when you pouted at not being with your aunty Leah.

"lee lee" you said to your mama trying to get out of her arms.

"hold on just got to get through security first" your mama said.

"no mama" you said starting to cry.

"hey hey what's with the tears" mummy said wiping your face.

"lee lee mummy" you said.

"oh lovey" your mummy said as you silently cried.

you continued to cry, until you were at the front of the line, your mama went through first putting you on the floor, causing you to cry hysterically.

"mama" you cried loud.

"come on the walk to me" she said kneeling down, but you made no efforts to move and just cried.

mummy was behind you and put her hand on your back making you walk through the metal detector and the moment you went through mama picked you up into her arms, as you continued to cry.

"no like" you said.

"i know baby i know its all over, now its time for the plane" she said wiping your face, trying to calm you down. once everyone was through security you all walked through towards the gate and you stayed in your mamas arm, with a death grip. everyone sat down and mummy came up you stroked your face.

"you want to go potty before we go on the plane" she asked and you nodded head resting on mamas shoulder.

"come on then lovey and we can get into so nice comfy clothes" she said picking you up and walking towards the nearest toilet. whilst mummy was getting you changed into some comfier clothes you asked.

"mummy bluey on plane" you asked.

"yes baby you wan watch bluey on the plane and in your own big girl seat" she said.

"with you and mama" you asked more questions.

"oh yes in between me and mama" she said.

"where lee lee" you asked.

"lee lee is next to mummy with g" mummy said now walking out of the toilet.

you walked towards your mama now a little bit happy after the little situation which wont me mentioned for the rest of the trip, you where happily sat on the floor with Georgia playing the goal being to tire you out a little bit which was working your dummy in your mouth and blanket in hand. you were rarely allowed your dummy during the day and only for night times, your mums both needed some comfort for you to have with a busy day like today.

after twenty minutes it was time to get on the plane, you were sat at the window looking at the plane whilst you everyone was boarding.

"come on lovey time to get on the plane" mummy said and you ran into her arms. walking into the plane you were skipping along with mummy by your side.

"where mama" you asked noticed her absense.

"she's on the plane getting your seat ready" she said, and you were confused what she meant by that. when walking to your seat you said hi to all the players and the staff and high fived Sarina.

"mama" you shouted when you noticed her.

"hello lovey" she said and she put you in your seat. which had your blanket bunny and other blanket set up.

you snuggled into your bunny and saw Leah poking her head around you mummy.

"lee lee" you giggled.

"hello baby you comfy" she said.

"yeah me go night night" you said.

"not yet to early for night night you haven't had your tea yet" Leah said.

"night night soon bluey first" you said.

"of course bluey" she said, knowing you always watched bluey before bed, after the hundreds of sleep overs you both had.

everyone was in there seat and the plane was taking off, your mama had given you a drink whilst the plane went in the air so your ears would pop without cause you any pain, you were sat in your own seat hanging over to your mama gripping onto her shirt clearly ready for a nap but your mums where advised not to let you sleep until about an hour or two in.

the plane had gotten up in the air, your drink was finished and everyone was moving about some to other seats and to the toilet.

"mama wee" you said to her.

"come on then" she said, getting out of her seat. you may have a pull up on but lucy was happy that you stuck to the routine of going to the toilet when you needed to.

after while it was now an hour and a half into the flight and everyone food was handed out and you were eating whilst watching bluey on the plane tv, happy as ever.

your mums where happy that you hadn't kicked off about something and you were the happy kid you were, well for the majority of it anyway, you ate your food happy and then climbed over you mummy and in Leah's lap almost instantly who was on facetime with Alex.

"well hello little bronzy" she said over the phone, and you snuggle into Leah's chest closing your eyes.

"right ill let you go and be with your favourite little one" Alex said.

"hey no sleeping you" Leah said poking you.

"night night with lee lee" you said finalising you wanted to go to sleep.

Leah looked over to Lucy who had sighed.

"you have to stay awake Y/N" mama said.

"no mama" you said sitting up with a pout on your face and your mama gave a you a look. you knew you shouldn't push when she gave you that look but you were two tired.

"night night soon okay you need your pjs first come one watch bluey for a bit" your mummy said trying to diffuse the situation but it only made you start the water works.

"you want to watch bluey with me" Leah said and you nodded.

tears still going down your face. all three women felt guilty just wanting to let you sleep but it was for your own good in keeping you awake. sitting happily in Leah's lap you were getting more and more tired by the minute, and your parents in looking at your tired face. mama had gotten up and grabbed your pjs and a fresh pull up with some wipes.

"some on then sleepy head" mama said and picked you up.

"bluey" you said.

"will be back with lee lee" she said carrying to the toilets, getting you changed was a struggle as you were to tired to hold your head up.

walking out the toilet you were in mamas arms and she walked up and down the isle trying to get you fully asleep, your blanket, dummy and bunny where in your arms, the plane was quiet everyone either asleep or calming down going to bed.

you weren't going to sleep, mama had noticed how tired you were but you were looking at her twirling her hair.

"go to sleep lovey" lucy said carrying on rocking you.

mama sat down with you and lifting the windows of cutting of the rest of the girls from the small family, mama took her shirt of and you your shirt of putting you both skin to skin, she rested your blanket on top of you both. and this got you fast asleep.

"all you needed was this" Mama whispered.

"proper mamas girl" mummy said.

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cuubism · 7 months

Text

a very silly story for you. johanna, dreamling's weird baby, and an accidental kidnapping (and subsequent rescue)

Johanna’s seen a lot of weird shit in her time. It comes with the territory. Magical shit also tends to be horrible shit which also tends to be weird shit. But even she is finding herself flummoxed by this one.

She’d broken into this flat prepared to perform an exorcism. Amateur occultist, planning to summon a demon? That’s what she’d heard, and yeah, that wasn’t going to go well. And it hadn’t—the guy was on fire when she arrived, so on fire that there was no way she could put it out or help him, though she had throne a blanket over him in a meager attempt. It was too late, though. He was charcoal in seconds.

That, while horrible, wasn’t even the weird part. The weird part was that there wasn’t even a demon, but there was a baby.

Sitting in the middle of the room, in a bird cage.

Johanna stares at it now, barely noticing the acrid smoke she’s still breathing in. Why the actual fuck is there a baby in a birdcage?

It doesn’t seem to be hurt at all. It’s just sitting there on a blanket at the bottom of the cage, clutching a little cat stuffed toy in its chubby fingers. But it’s in a birdcage. A bird cage.

Johanna goes to open the cage, of course she does—

And the moment she touches the latch she jumps back, shaking out her hand from the spark. Holy hell, that thing is warded to high heaven. That cage could probably keep a demon contained. Why is a baby warded like that? It’s just a human—

It.

It looks like a human baby.

Johanna circles the cage, more wary now. She should know better, should know that an occultist like that wouldn’t be carrying around a regular baby in a cage. Even if you’re a real sicko, you don’t need a cage to keep hold of a baby. It can’t even walk.

So it’s not a regular baby. Sure looks like one, though. Makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up, that does.

As Johanna looks more closely at the wards, the baby watches her with wide eyes, sucking on its thumb. It’s actually pretty cute. It’s even wearing a star-print onesie. The wards are hardcore, though. Nothing’s getting in, and certainly nothing is getting out.

“Either you’re some fucked up thing disguised as a baby,” she muses out loud, “or you’re an actual little baby fucked up thing, which means your fucked up nightmare mummy is going to come looking for you.”

The baby blurbles in agreement.

Either way, she can’t exactly take it to the authorities. Which means she’s going to have to take the baby home, at least for now.

“Fuck me,” Johanna says, and picks up the cage.

The baby is silent on the drive home—buckled awkwardly into the back seat of the car—and remains so as Johanna puts the cage down on the floor of her living room. It watches her with big eyes, sucking its thumb. It doesn’t seem particularly afraid, though Johanna can’t imagine being in a cage is very pleasant, even for a baby that probably doesn’t understand what’s going on anyway.

Or who knows, maybe it does. Jo doesn’t really know much about babies’ development trajectories.

“Right,” she says, looking at it with hands on her hips. “I’m not really looking to become a mum, so we’ll have to get you out of there and back where you belong. Fuck if I know where that is.”

The baby makes a gurgling sound that could be agreement or just gassiness.

Johanna gets out some chalk and starts to draw a containment array around the cage. “Sorry about this, little chap,” she says, “but I still don’t know what you are. Better safe than sorry, eh?”

The baby is silent, watching her.

Johanna finishes the containment circle, binding it off with a final rune. It’s not so mean of a ward as the cage had. Just enough to keep the baby from exploding with power once she does break the cage open. If that’s something it can even do.

She studies the ward. “Think I can pick this lock,” she says to herself. “Take me a sec, though. Don’t suppose you want a beer while you wait?” This to the baby. “I haven’t got any formula. Or are you old enough for baby food?”

The baby just sucks on its thumb. It really does seem quite sweet. Shame about secretly being a monstrosity in a cage, and all.

Johanna works on the ward, occasionally chatting out loud to the baby. It doesn’t reply, obviously, but it listens. Johanna is feeling more invested in getting it back to its parents the longer she sits with it. Even if it is some gross creature, it doesn’t deserve to be in a birdcage. It’s just a baby.

“Good trick we met each other, my friend,” she says as she finally unravels the last bit of the warding. “Doubt that guy had good plans for his captured baby.”

She clicks open the ward.

As soon as she does, the formerly placid baby starts screaming. And Johanna realizes that part of the ward’s function had been to stop it from crying for help.

“Mama!” the baby wails, tears pooling in its eyes, little fists scrunched tight around its plushy’s legs. “MammaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!”

Its voice warbles outside the normal sound range and straight into her brain, ringing like a bell. She covers her ears, but it doesn’t help. Great, now the thing’s mother is going to show up and eat her. This is what she gets for trying not to be a total asshole for once. Should’ve opened the cage in the street and fled.

“Shhhhhh,” she tries to soothe the baby, “it’s okay—” But it’s too late. And Johanna isn’t a very soothing person anyway. It probably wouldn’t have worked, even if the room hadn’t been plunged into sudden darkness.

Johanna stumbles back, though she can see nothing. Thunder and static ripple through the air, cold wind tangles her hair. Jo claps her hands over her ears as the air pressure increases and increases and—

The baby squeals, and it sounds happy now, rather than afraid. “Mama!!”

A voice scraped from the utter depths of mental torment booms through her flat.

C O N S T A N T I N E

Ah, fuck.

“Morpheus,” she tries, because she does recognize that voice, unfortunately, “listen—”

A wall of sand knocks her backwards.

As it does, some light returns to the flat, and she can see Morpheus, looking markedly less pathetic than when she’d last encountered him, standing in the center of the living room, looking down at the baby. His eyes flash with otherworldly light. His sand rushes around him, scrapes through the binding circle she’d drawn like it’s nothing but chalk, dissolves the birdcage to nothing, plays with the baby’s curls and pools in the crevices of its onesie. Meanwhile, it flattens Johanna against the wall, wraps in winding strands of wind around her chest and squeezes.

The baby reaches for Morpheus, who kneels and picks it up. He says something to the baby, the words low and solemn but inaudible over the rushing sand, then holds it close to his chest.

Then his gaze turns to Johanna.He looks murderous. Johanna had thought he’d been pissed off about his sand. She hadn’t seen even a tenth of it.

“I guess you’re mama?” she says, past the sand squeezing around her chest. This really is just the kind of stupid thing that would happen to her.

Morpheus’s eyes are like black holes in his pale face. “Constantine,” he growls, with much of the same danger as before, though at lower volume. “I thought we had parted on neutral terms. More fool I. What grudge do you still hold against me?” The sand squeezes her tighter. “Speak quickly, for your time is limited.”

“There’s no grudge, I have nothing to—”

“Ransom, then?” says Morpheus, seeming, if possible, more angry. “You would compel favors from me by threatening a child?” He clutches the baby to his chest. It’s started chewing on the lapel of his coat. The whole picture would be kind of hilariously adorable if she weren’t on the verge of being torn apart by nightmares.

“I’m not responsible for this!” Johanna insists. “Consult your stalker encyclopedia of all minds if you have to. You really think I’m going around kidnapping infants?”

“I think,” says Morpheus, each syllable a new threat, “that you must explain why you had my daughter in a cage. NOW. And count yourself fortunate I have granted you the mercy of an explanation.”

“I literally just found her!” Johanna says. Doesn’t she deserve even a little bit of good faith? She did help with the sand and all. Morpheus’s eyes narrow as if he does not believe her. “Look. Caught wind of this amateur guy messing around with occult stuff. Thought he’d summoned a demon so I went to exorcise it. Found this baby instead.”

“And what of this man?” says Morpheus in a tone that suggests exactly what will soon become of him.

“He was practically dead by the time I got there. Burned alive.” She shudders. She still hasn’t figured out exactly what was going on there, if he’d meant to summon Morpheus’s baby in the first place—ill-advised choice, that—or if it was a spell gone wrong. “‘Fraid you’re too late to torment him.”

“Hmm,” rumbles Morpheus, with evident displeasure, but the sand finally releases Johanna and she sways, standing on her own feet again. Morpheus doesn’t apologize for throwing her against the wall. “You will show me where you found her.”

“Sure, mate,” Johanna says, sucking in a wheezing breath. “Might want to get your baby home first, though.”

Morpheus doesn’t get a chance to respond. Behind Johanna, the front door bursts open— bursts off its fucking hinges, goddammit, now she’ll have to get that fixed— and a man runs through. A very ordinary man, except that he’s carrying a sword. An actual, medieval-looking sword. And in a way that suggests he knows how to use it, too.

He looks almost as murderous as Morpheus, except that no one can quite match Morpheus’s shadows-and-cataclysm level of murder. Evidently, Johanna found the most radioactive baby in all the occult world. But at least it has people that care about it. That’s nice, she supposes.

As soon as he sees Morpheus with the baby across the room, he relaxes, sheathing the sword in a scabbard strapped to his back. “Ah, love. You found her.”

“Dadaaaaaa!!!!” yells the baby with its piercing voice, reaching for him. And the man smiles, striding past Johanna and taking the baby from Morpheus, leaning in to kiss Morpheus on the cheek as he does.

“Hob,” says Morpheus, with a little smile that finally breaks his stormy countenance. “Yes. She called for me when she was able.”

“Good lass,” says Hob, kissing the baby on the forehead, then looks warily at Johanna.

“Ms. Constantine is not responsible,” says Morpheus, and ‘Hob’—his partner? Coparent? Johanna’s not sure she even wants to know—relaxes further.

“Great. Glad we’ve established that. How the hell did you find my flat.” This she demands of Hob.

Hob reaches into the back of the baby’s onesie and plucks a small disc off the collar; he shows it to her with a little wave, then slips it in his pocket.

“Is that an AirTag?”

“We aren’t all plugged into the whole collective unconscious.” He taps the baby on the nose fondly, and she giggles, grabbing at his finger. “And you’re Dada’s little flight risk, aren’t you?”

Johanna sighs, finally flopping down on the couch now that it seems she’s unlikely to get swept away to nightmare-land. She definitely needs a beer after this. “You have a baby?” she says to Morpheus.

“Evidently,” he says flatly. So much for getting answers on that.

“Have we gone after the person who was responsible?” asks Hob. Johanna thinks he means it to come out mildly but it doesn’t, really.

“Already got set on fire, mate,” Jo tells him. “Found him like that.”

“Set on fire?” says Hob with a frown. “Was the rest of the room on fire?”

As a matter of fact, it wasn’t. Which is strange.

Silently, she shakes her head, and Hob turns back to the baby. Now he’s grinning. “Did the bad man wish for power?” he says, in a baby-talk voice, bouncing the baby in his arms. “Did he? And did my little Sparkle take that literally and turn him into a lightbulb?” As a conspiratorial aside to Johanna, he says, “She loves electricity.”

“Sparkle?” she says. “She’s a baby, not a My Little Pony.”

“That is a nickname,” says Morpheus, with a sideways glance at Hob that suggests he finds it questionable at best. “She is Wish.” He says this in the same way he might say I am Dream, rather than my name is Dream.

A moment later, Johanna learns where the nickname came from, as Wish giggles and taps at Hob’s face, sparks dancing around her fingertips. Sparkle. Jesus.

“She does not yet have a firm grasp on her abilities,” says Morpheus.

Wish. Half-Endless baby. Kidnapper set on fire. Jo thinks she gets it now. She shivers.

“You have sworn to show me where you found her,” Morpheus reminds her. Sworn. Does he have to be so dramatic?

Jo sighs, but heaves herself up from the couch. “Yep. Alright. So long as you promise to keep better track of that monkey’s paw baby of yours.”

Morpheus bristles, but Hob just chuckles. “This is the easy part. Wait ’til she gets better at flying.”

He doesn’t appear to be joking. “Don’t envy you,” Johanna says. Then grudgingly admits, “She is cute, though.”

Hob beams.

Morpheus is still fixated on her. Johanna can read the demand without him having to voice it. “What, you’re gonna bring the baby along on the revenge mission?” she asks.

They both just look at her. Neither moves to take Wish home.

“Figures,” Johanna says, with a sigh. This is what she gets for not choosing a more normal profession. She opens the front door and gestures them on. “Fine, then. Let’s go.”

#a silly nano project #my writing #the sandman #johanna constantine #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling

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imyourbratzdoll · 2 months

Note

I crave a good fluffy fic with wolverine, his wife is a badass and when someone threatens him she loses her shit and kicks their ass🫡 with so much disrespect.

hey baby, I'm so sorry for taking so long! I hope you enjoy what I did, it's a bit more violent than you probably wanted.

summary - a dumb 'bad guy' lures you and your husband out, things take an escalated turn when he threatens your husband.

warning - SUPER violent, like extreme level probably, swearing, mentions of sex, dude talks of touching what's his but nothing triggering, dick and balls suffer rip.

18+ only please, the gif I use isn't mine, divider by @newlips

You couldn’t believe this guy, he was really threatening your husband right in front of you. Thinking he was all tough because he could throw fire or some shit? You didn’t know what he could do, except talk a lot of shit. That was probably his power. What was his name again? Captain Talks Shit? Shits A lot? Little Fucker? Who cares, all you care about right now is that he’s threatening your man.

You walk out of the shadows, having heard enough because honestly. Why do the bad guys always talk for so long? Have none of them realised or picked up from past bad guys mistakes? It was tiring and a waste of your time because you and Logan could’ve been gone by now, screwing each other silly, probably somewhere extremely risky. But, noooo. You had to listen to this jackass.

“Listen, dick licker. If you don’t stop threatening my fucking husband. I’m going to rip your arm off and beat you with it.” You growl, moving to stand in front of Logan. (Sure, he would have protected himself and it may look weak to the other guy that a woman is standing in front of an extremely large man, in more ways than one, wink wink. But you happen to know that this turns your husband on and who are you to deny him his fantasies?)

“Is that a threat?” Captain Dipshit sneers.

“Did it sound like a fucking compliment, Princess?” You watch as he eyes you, sizing you up and in his mind he’s probably thinking ‘yeah, I can take this chick.’ You hope his ego deflates before you kill him.

“Listen, Babe. This is between us men, now why don’t you run along and go make us a sandwich or something. Maybe put on some cute lingerie and wait for me in the bedroom ‘cause once I’m done with your husband here. You’ll be creamin’ around me.”

Logan shakes his head, stepping way back. He remembered when he accidentally said something similar and he was in a coma for a whole month, not even his fast healing could help him.

It was like a switch turning on, the beast that lived within you had been released from its cage and not even God could save this man now. You stalked towards him, he still smirked thinking he was safe. You jump, wrapping your legs around his neck and twisting, bringing him down using a move your good friend Natasha had taught you. You move swiftly while he is down, sending a harsh kick to his face, hearing the satisfying crack of his nose and possibly jaw breaking. You grab him by his hair and lift him, a large grin covering your face as you bring him eye level with you.

“You wanna repeat that, Princess?” You bring him closer, whispering in his ear. “How bout you go make me a sandwich, put on a cute set and I’ll bash your dick in with a baseball bat. How do ya like the sound of that? Cause I love it.”

He struggles within your grip, trying to swing at you but with your other hand that isn’t gripping his hair. You snap his arms, relishing in the sound of bones breaking. His screams echo the warehouse, dumbarse had lured us in here without a backup plan or backup.

You let go of your grip on his hair, immediately switching to gripping his throat instead. “You don’t like my plan, Princess? Rethinking the whole thing? Cause ya already pissed me off by threatening the man I love, but then you had the balls to say THAT? Tell me, Princess. Just between us girls. Did mummy not give you any hugs as a kid? Cause how did you think this was gonna go? You could’ve ‘killed’ the Wolverine, but he wouldn’t have stayed dead. No. But if he heard you touching me, touching what’s HIS. He would’ve torn you to shreds, but slowly. Very slowly. It’s what makes me love him.” You pat the man’s cheek, grinning as he winces.

“How bout an apology and I won’t kill you.”

“F–fuck you.” He spits at you, SPITS. Not even clear fucking spit, this shit has blood in it. You lift your hand, wiping the spit with the back of it and then onto his clothes.

Your face screwed up. “Well, that was stupid.” With quick movements, you throw him, watching him crash into a wall so hard that it leaves a dent. Your hand reaches out and a bat flies into it. “You’re not wearing that cute set and I don’t have a sandwich, but this will do.” He tries to shuffle away, his eyes wide. You stalk toward him and swing, smashing his dick and balls with one hit. Think Superman merged with Hulk strength, how do you think his twig and berries did?

A scream rips out of his mouth before his eyes roll back and he falls backwards. You frown and poke him with your bat. “Hey mista, you dead?” You look at Logan, “Bitch passed out.” He shakes his head at the pout on your lips.

He walks over and places a kiss on your head, “C’mon, let’s go home now or better yet. You ready to do something real risky, Sweets.” Your eyes light up.

“Do you mean…?!”

Logan nods, smirking. “I’ll finally let you fuck me while I drive.” Your squeals escape as you jump into his arms, smothering his face with kisses.

“OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You’re the best husband a woman could ask for!” And with that, Logan carries you out as you stare at him dreamily.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

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