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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

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Smugglers and Killers (Favored Ones, Part 18.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Quote for the chapter: “I'm just a poor, wayfaring stranger... Traveling through this world below.” - Johnny Cash

Part summary: As the whole incident slowly settled down, new problems started to arise.

A/N:.So, we soon be on a family trip to Seattle, guys, how are we feeling about that?

Warnings: Angst, some more angst and a bit of fluff.

Word count: 4.8 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme @peakymarvels @davnwillcome @pickleriiick @jodiereedus22 @gladiosamicitias @tamkashi @eternallyvenus @avengerssstuff @fangirl-inthe-us @avery-miller @mikah-writes @mad-hatter-98 @sadiaafrin99 @flavorishy

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS | SEATTLE DAYS

Early spring of 2038, twenty days from departure to Seattle:

When you'd woken up for the first time, Ellie and everyone else forgot about the hatred inside for a small while. You were drugged and high as a living fuck, talking complete nonsense. Sure, Ellie desired to talk to you about the strangers, but at the moment, she was just laughing happily at your expressions and monotone voice, just like Dina, Diego and Jesse did. Joel wasn't in town to see you awake, but everyone was sure you'll have plenty of time to talk things out later.

Surprisingly enough, Ellie was standing at his doorstep, accompanied by Dina when he got back from the hunt. It made him grin to know that his baby girl had healed enough to talk to him once again - only if he'd know how downhill will the conversation go. But just like the man he was, he invited both ladies in and made them a cup of coffee and tea.

"So, you two hit it off, huh?" - Joel rose his eyebrows teasingly, having Dina chuckle at what he'd said. But both the girls nodded. Ellie was nervous about the whole matter - it was stressing her out enough to sit with Dina as her partner in front of Joel, but the matter she came to talk about was making her even more nervous. - "I'm proud of you, kiddo. You know I am." - Joel smiled at his daughter of sorts heartwarmingly and Ellie felt as her girlfriend's palm held hers a bit tighter.

"We'll put all the politeness aside, for now, Joel. I came to talk about the patrol." - Ellie licked her lips, lifting her look to look at the old man. At this statement, Joel leaned his back into the chair, letting out a long sigh. Sure, he should've seen this coming. While he knew when to stay put and calm, Ellie saw the world from a different perspective. She saw and felt different about the situation, and it was fair to hear what she had to say. So, with that, Joel nodded to let Ellie know he's listening. - "I want to go after them. Dina and I, we are going as soon as Y/N tells us who they were." - And with that, Joel closed his eyes, shaking his head with clear disagreement.

"You think I'll let this slide, Joel? I know you're pissed too, you know I just want the revenge she and Tommy deserve and you want it as well." - Ellie spoke out frantically. - "And you'd do the same fucking thing as soon as something happened to me. You wouldn't stay put and waited for things to play out, come on." - The girl looked into the man's face. His expression was unreadable and stoic. He was just called out because he didn't pack his damn stuff and went after them immediately, as Ellie thought she should've done. This wasn't about fear or about staying put. This was about making sure you were doing good in the first place.

"Kiddo, I think you should calm down in the first place, 'kay?" - The man spoke out after a moment of digesting the information. - "I am not waitin' here, sittin' around to see how it plays out. I get what you're goin' through rite now, trust me, I've been there. But..." - Joel tried to speak with the girl confidently, but she just sprang up on her feet. Dina was just sitting there in silence, afraid of what's yet to come. She told Ellie Joel won't agree to this short-fire plan she came up with, and there is was.

"Calm down? Are you fucking serious? I thought that the fact you've been fucking her for the last few months might make you do something for avenging," - "Ellie, sit down. We can solve this without bein' rude." - Joel answered rather calmly, but it could be heard that he's about to lose his nerve soon as well.

"No, you don't get to tell me when to sit down and shut up, Miller. I'm doing this for her." - "And you think she'd want that? Kiddo, she's a good person, she wouldn't jump straight to violence." - Joel defended you while looking the girl in the eyes. He was playing around with his tongue and teeth, biting on his bottom lip and trying to stay concentrated on the conversation. - "And how can you know, hm?"

"Oh, good Lord, that's what bitin' your ass? I know that girl for quite some time now and her moral compass is oriented differently than mine or yours." - Well, this was getting heated up fast. Dina would swear she hadn't felt this uncomfortable for some time and let her say, she and Jesse had the most awkward conversation ever when they were breaking up. - "Oh, great. You're talking shit about morals, given the fact you've started fucking my best friend? You did it even when you knew what she means to me? She is like my sister, Joel, but you just had to come around and fuck the shit up as you always do." - Ellie threw her hands in the air, staring at the man in silence for a while just like he was staring back at her.

"I am sorry to break it down for you, kiddo, but I have a family to protect 'ere now. And somethin' to get a hold on. All your great plan is goin' to do is make you both killed, mark my words. But I ain't be stoppin' you since I'm just that old fucker who had practically took advantage of your best goddamn friend." - Joel chuckled ironically, leaving to open the door for them. At that moment, Ellie stopped and winked a few times, realizing what she'd just said. These things were just nasty to say out loud, even with the given context. Sure, you were her best friend, but you and Joel had every right to date... If you liked each other and felt something for the other one. Which you surely did.

Sure, Ellie had the right to be angry about the matter, but she in no way had the right to blame Joel or to tell either of you to cut the things off for good. It was a weird situation to be in, but when she looked down on Dina, Ellie knew that no-one had the right to judge someone else's romantic choices. And as long as you two were happy, there was nothing left to say. And the redhaired girl knew that... Yet with the things she already told the man, it was too late to tell him. Dina smoothed her palm and caught it to hers, standing up.

"Listen, I'm sorry," - "Leave my goddamn house." - Joel mumbled when Ellie wanted to apologize as he was leaning into the open door, one of his thumbs was slipped behind his belt. So, she wasn't talking to him for years and now, when she and Joel made up in a way, she pulled a complete 180° stunt. That was just fucking great. Although she knew that Joel isn't her and he'll calm down as the time will pass, she couldn't help but feel bad for the words. She just smiled sadly and nodded, walking out of the house with her head held down.

"I'm sorry, Joel." - Dina told the man quietly, offering him a quick comforting hug before running after Ellie. She bit Joel's ass for a long time after she and Dina left. Did the girl think he wasn't grieving and in pain? Did she think that he's living in this small fortress of comfort that didn't allow him to see the things around? You were a person he deeply cared for, so, of course, he was shaken when Bobby allowed him to see you for the first time after the incident. There were a few days when Joel was forbidden to see you because Maria didn't know what his reaction will be. It was on the wild range of basic randomness. It could be everything from being outraged to saddened. When Joel begged to see you for the tenth time, Maria finally agreed. Even if you got better than when Dina had driven you into the hospital, you were still looking as if the people have beaten the fucking shit out of you. The man reminisced over everything as he concentrated on making a craving of the hind you've seen last year since he thought you may like it.

And ever since he sat down to hold your hand, he couldn't but think it all had something to do with him. He wasn't sure how could any of that involve him, but because of a habit, he was sure that it was somehow connected to him. Joel visited both you and Tommy when he found the courage to, yet he always sat by your side way longer. It was making him calm seeing you slowly getting better, seeing as your skin tone slowly started to resemble the one he remembered. Sometimes, he came overnight to sit by your side the whole night, just watching over you.

Ellie was right. If the things weren't as they were at the moment, he'd go after these fuckers immediately. He had the habit of getting into a rage too quickly - but this time, you needed him there more than he needed to avenge you. Sure, you needed him there just metaphorically, but he needed to be there for you. There was no way around it - he was, indeed, in love. For the first time in the last twenty-four years. And he'd do anything just to keep you safe.

Naturally, people were sure that he'll take you to his house once you'll be able to leave the hospital. Sure, there were the weirded-out stares when he came for you, but honestly? Just like you've said, the people could go themselves. What did they know about you or him, about what you had going on? Maria seemed to be on board with the fact that you were a serious couple, slowly accepting you as a new addition to the family just the way she was adjusting to Dina. You two were always close friends she had in Jackson, but this was a whole new level.

"And here he comes. Howdy, you handsome cowboy." - Was the first thing Joel had heard you say after a few weeks and holy moly, the man was almost on the verge of tears at that moment. You weren't looking healthy, but at least you weren't looking like someone whos dying either. You put down a lot of weight thanks to your prolonged coma, you were sitting in a wheelchair and it could be seen that you're fucking tired. Yet as long as you were sitting there and smiling at the man, none of these mattered to him. - "Youre ready to sing the whole songbook for me, huh?" - You asked and grinned when he leaned down to steal a kiss from you.

"When exactly I said I'll be singin' for you, girl? My memory doesn't seem to be workin' as it used to." - Joel grinned back, looking over to Maria who came to the room to greet her brother-in-law. They shared a short hug before Maria took him aside.

"Listen. You need to be careful with her now, 'kay? She ain't one of the girls to break down under the gentlest blow of the wind, sure, I mean... Her head is probably more fucked up than her body. She had some wild nightmares last night, and she was mumbling some name from her sleep, but I didn't catch it." - Maria told Joel seriously, watching you make some small talk with the nurses, laughing through it. - "Also, you should know that she and Dina are on thin ice... I heard them screaming at each other because of something involving both you and Ellie yesterday and listen..." - The woman caught Joel's shoulder when the man almost turned away from her annoyedly. - "I don't know what it was about, but take the things slow for now, you promise?" - Maria sighed and in the end, she had Joel nodding.

Great. Not only that he and Ellie had some bad blood between them, but now you and Dina started to argue as well... Those were some great fucking news. - "How's my baby brother doin'? Heard he woke up yesterday." - Joel changed the topic and at that, he saw Maria tearing up. First, it was hard to tell if she's happy or sad, but she nodded and smiled in the end.

"It's still your brother my husband inside of that head. His bones are fine now, so give him two weeks and he'll be standing on his feet again." - The blonde woman whispered happily, feeling the stress washing off of her slowly. At that, Joel smiled and nodded, freaking out when your head suddenly appeared next to his palm as you tugged his shirt.

"Are we going or what?" - You asked, looking at both him and Maria. - "Dude, I haven't smelled the fresh air in weeks and you don't know how eager am I to take a motherfucking bath." - A hum left your mouth as you thought about pouring yourself some water. Joel sure as hell was surprised with your cussing - you didn't cuss as much before the incident, at least not around him.

"I shouldn't leave the girl hanging. See you around Joel, and... Look after her." - Maria teased you with a smile, wiping the tears away. At that, you chuckled with a dry tone, giving her a daring smile back. - "I am not a baby, Maria. And you sure as hell ain't my mother." - You bumped her thigh with a faked drama, having the woman laugh lighthearted.

"But you can't even walk for now. So you're a baby. Jesus, Joel, tame her down." - Maria joked, leaving you two alone for Joel to take you home already. The man gladly pushed the wheelchair to your house to pick some clothes from there while you made him talk about the weeks he spent without you. He was glad to have you poking fun of him again, making jokes, and speculate about things, no matter how much you were swearing.

"Which ones should I take?" - Joel asked while you sat in the doorframe, watching the man packing your stuff. - "The ones you find the sexiest, of course. That makes sense." - You answered him almost immediately, having the man shaking his head. You were impossible at times and it caught him off guard every time. - "You keep on dreamin', girl. I'll take the most comfortable ones for starters." - Joel dismissed the innuendo. With a loud sigh, you rolled your eyes.

"You, Miller, are not fun. I can't wait to get my hands on you." - You mumbled with a dreamy smile on your face. That made Joel sit on the edge of your bed, looking you into the eyes. - "I told you to keep on dreamin' and there's no way you can go around that, young blood. Not until you feel better." - He told you, seeing your expression to soften a bit.

Even if you weren't in a state to acknowledge that, you've missed him dearly. This man was something out of the world. And you almost didn't remember that you two were an official thing in Jackson until Maria had told you what happened that night when he and Seth argued about Ellie. That was probably the wildest realization you had ever since you've woken up. - "Heard you have some trouble with Dina, wanna tell me 'bout that?" - Joel asked you suddenly, having you sigh.

Dina came to ask you about the whole incident thing and God, it pissed you out. The audacity to ask people rude stuff Dina sometimes had was quite unbelievable. You had just woken up, disoriented and with the drugs still wearing off and she was already there, asking you stuff. This matter was the kind you had to solve inside your head first before talking about it with the others. You remembered some pieces from the time you were in limbo - like Abby's face. Not her entire face, but you knew that you'd recognize her eyes anywhere, on any given material. The whole Abby issue was something you weren't ready to talk about with anyone just yet - especially with Joel when he was the one you've endured so much pain for.

"She wanted to ask me things about the cottage, so I told her to fuck off for now. And she took it way more personal than I anticipated her to, given it's Dina who I was talking to. On the other hand, I've heard you had a beef with Ellie too. What was that about?" - You asked back to make him uncomfortable as well. The man looked away for a second, fiddling around with his fingers to figure out some answer. - "The girls wanted to talk about the whole thing with me as well, but... I don't think it's my turn to decide who's goin' to die or not. But if you'd like to visit 'em and you know at least somethin' 'bout these people, baby girl, you can count on me." - Joel whispered, declaring his loyalty in this fucked up situation.

It felt like the safest moment to tell him that Abby was there to look for Joel. She was purposely searching for the man, and given what kind of a person Joel used to be before Jackson, you were willing to believe that he has done some fucked up shit to a person she knew. And she wanted to avenge them... But... Would you be any better if you'd go after them because of what they've done? Would that solve something at all? Or would there be just more blood? So you've just smiled at Joel, looking back to the wardrobe.

"Don't forget to take my granny panties too, I know they're turning you on." - A joke left you, but it didn't come across as funny at all. All it was was a desperate escape from the situation inside your head. Yet your man hummed in agreement, packing some more of your stuff. As soon as you were at home, you've decided to take a bath like the big girl you were - determined that you'll climb the staircase on your own. Joel was doing some stuff around the house, so once you felt like you're ready, you caught the railing and swung yourself standing, just to scream out in pain.

Joel ran after you immediately, checking on the situation - and it was quite funny how quickly his eyes widened in horror as soon as he saw what you were up to. His palm slipped on your waist and he put your arm over his shoulders to make sure you'll be standing on the a-ok foot. - "I was just about to prepare us some bath, you're ruining the surprise." - You chuckled to hide the pain. It was anything overwhelming, yet it didn't feel right to stand up on your own just yet.

Nurses told you to take things slowly because it was kind of expected of them to be the adult ones out of you two, but you were a hotshot at the end of the day. You wanted to feel empowered and independent, but the things didn't quite play out the way you anticipated. - "Jesus, I thought you've hurt yourself. You want to open up the wound again, or what you're after?" - Joel huffed angrily, helping you to climb the stairs up. It didn't feel as bad when you had someone to help you out with walking up. The discomfort was way lesser. So, making sure you're contained, Joel got you a bath of hot water.

The man sat by your side for a fairly long time and chatted with you until it came to undressing. Even with that, he helped, acting like the most polite gentleman around with it. Slowly, you gathered yourself to take the bandages off your thigh, checking on the scab. The skin around it was now pretty weird, but it was more or less turning into a scar. Bobby promised you that you'll be soon enough allowed to walk on your own. Joel was weirded out when you limbed to him, unbuttoning his shirt with a gentle smile.

"Hey there, Texas. How ya doin'?" - You asked with the most overly dramatic Texas accent ever. Joel furrowed when your hands slowly got to his belt, unbuckling it skillfully. - "No sex, I swear. Just a bath." - You made a scout promise before rolling the t-shirt from his torso. When you took in the view of his chest covered in gentle hair, you nuzzled in, taking a deep breath in. You were both alive and safe. What could be better in this awful world?

A subconscious smile appeared on your lips when you felt as he leaned his chin into the top of your head, exhaling slowly as he smoothed your back, entwining his fingers at its small. When you made him step out of the jeans, you both somehow puzzled into the bathtub so closely that there wasn't an inch where you could move around. But that was what made it even better. Soon enough after you both laid down, you heard the man snoring lightly. So you just laid there until the water got really cold, and when it did, you woke him by gently soaping his calves.

"Damn, I've fallen asleep?" - Joel asked you with the typical sleepy-raspy voice. With a chuckle, you nodded, soaping your shoulders and upper arms. - "'s okay. You're an old man." - A tease left your lips when you felt him shifting behind you as he leaned in to kiss the nape of your neck. After a while, when you let the man smoothing the skin on your back and soap your hair, you turned your head at him.

"What?" - Joel chuckled, kissing one of your temples. - "Nothing, you're handsome," - You smiled and kissed him. Once you both put on some clothes, you agreed that you won't the bandage on for the night.

"You up for a movie?" - Joel asked with anticipation, but he knew that answer as soon as you stretched and yawned. Your look traveled to a book in his nightstand, which made you smile as you took it into your hands.

"What is this about? Space for Idiots?" - You asked, putting the book on its place before you sat into the blankets. Joel nodded, walking up to you. - "Ellie likes space, so... I wanted to make her happy with knowing some stuff. Doesn't look like Imma about to use it, though." - The man sighed, watching you laying down. So he just closed the door, tugged you in, and left to his carpentry workshop to work on a few pieces. When he was sneaking into the bed again, you were already dead asleep, yet he couldn't help himself and leaned in to smooth your hair. - "You up?" - Joel asked and kneeled beside the edge of your side, smiling at you.

"Not anymore, you couldn't help yourself, could you?" - You whispered, sending him a crooked, sleepy smile. It didn't take the man too much time to lay down next to you, making sure he has you curled up to his side carefully enough to protect your thigh from any possible impact that would hurt you. - "You still up?" - Joel smoothed your back. Was he about to say it out loud? Oh, dear Lord, he was. Was he ready to say it out loud? No, he fucking wasn't. But things were the way they were. - "What are you after, Miller?" - You hummed into his chest, being half asleep already.

"Uh, just a little somethin' to tell you, baby girl." - The man got out tenderly. There was so much emotion that it made your head sprang up so you were looking at him as your fingers smoothly caressed the small spot under his collarbone. He closed his eyes, exhaling once more. Jesus, you've never seen Joel so nervous about anything in the whole fucking world. - "I love you." - The man licked his lips and continued staring into the ceiling. He was so nervous he could barely look at you - you felt his heart jumping under your fingers as if it was about to have a stroke. At that, you chuckled and kissed his clothed chest, putting your head back there. It was cute that this was officially the first time when his palms got sweaty, and if it would be light in the room, you'd see that he's blushing.

"And I know that. You don't have to tell me... All it takes is to show me you mean it, Miller." - You whispered, hugging his side with your palm carefully, bringing the man even closer. He was petrified of the idea of not hearing it back. You told him just before you encountered the strangers, and now, when he was somehow sure it's safe to put his heart out there, you won't tell him back? - "You know I love you too, stop holding your breath, will you?" - You chuckled and felt as his chest lowered suddenly as he breathed out.

The other night, there was a surprise party for you and Tommy. That 'we're pretty glad you're alive, shitheads' type of party which greatly resembled one of the winter dances. You and Tommy with your partners were sharing one table as the people came in to congratulate you, even if survival was barely considered a thing to congratulate for. While Jesse came to your wheelchair and pushed his body on yours, making you laugh, Ellie has been torn apart between talking to you and not talking. Dina was mad at you and Joel was mad her, no matter how unimportant it seemed to be. Ellie saw your confused gaze flying over to the two girls and she could tell that you're confused why you're not there.

So when ten p.m. came, she walked directly to you, ignoring both Dina and Joel, pushing your wheelchair to the dancefloor. It was funny when she sat on your lap and you both felt the wheelchair practically tearing apart under you. But you just hugged her waist and laughed with her. The girl wasn't the one to cry, but when she looked at you being all happy and healthy, she teared up as she put her forehead onto yours and closed her eyes. Other couples were dancing while you two just sat in the wheelchair, sharing a moment of friendly emotions.

"You scared me back there." - Ellie whispered, looking around and winking in a fast pace to shush the tears away.

"No fucking way. I told Dina they've come late to the party." - A nasty grin assured her that you're taking her interest seriously.

"Do you remember something from the..." - "I remember pretty much everything, thank you for bringing that up." - You shut the girl off. Ellie's eyes widened and her breath hitched. You remembered everything. You remembered the people, you could have a clue about who they were. You could... - "Whatever you're thinking about now, Williams, drop it. At least for today. Can we be just happy I've survived that shit for one evening?" - A sigh left you. You knew the look Ellie was giving you. And you almost didn't trust that shell drop it. - "Dina already told me what you're after. And I need a few days to think about all the shit. Tommy and I agreed that we won't be talking about it with anyone until we feel the right time has come."

"So you wanna go after them?" - Ellie asked mesmerized. You didn't give her a clear answer, but there was a little light of rage and hatred inside your eyes. She didn't know the reason yet, but she already knew that you were pretty much ready to hunt these sons of bitches down one by one.

#ellie x dina #tlou #ellie williams #joel miller #dina the last of us #ellie the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #jesse the last of us #tommy miller #tommy the last of us #maria miller #maria miller the last of us #the last of us part two #the last of us imagine #the last of us part 2

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emily64cooper · 4 years

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If I Lose Everything in the Fire (I’m sending all my love to you)

Title: If I Lose Everything in the Fire (I’m sending all my love to you)

Author: emily64cooper

Rating: PG-13 for language

Fandom: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (tv)

Characters/Pairing: Susie, Lenny/Midge, Mentions: Sophie Lennon, Joel Maisel

Summary: Susie turned around to leave and instantly began berating herself for speaking to a comedic legend like Lenny Bruce like that. Still, she moved very slowly, hoping that he would stop her. She really didn’t want to have to involve Joel in this.

(Or, after getting kicked off the tour, Susie can't go comfort Midge, so she sends the next best person she can think of: Lenny Bruce).

Author’s Note: Takes place immediately post-season 3. Like, immediately.

“You again.”

She'd caught him coming off an act at a club in midtown. The club was ritzy by midtown standards, much nicer than the Gaslight, but still enough beer on the floor to remind you you weren't at the Copa. She'd kill to get Midge into a place like this of her own accord, without having to rely on someone else's reputation. She’d hoped they were heading toward that, but she wasn’t so sure now.

“Hi Lenny. Nice to see you too,” Susie said. She was already mad enough at herself for having to come down here, she didn’t have time to deal with his sarcastic bullshit.

“Aren't you supposed to be in Europe?" he questioned, pulling out and lighting a cigarette.

“I need your help.” Fuck, she hated that. She hated saying those words. She hated that they were true. Fuck.

“I expected nothing less.”

“It’s about Midge.”

"She talk about the pregnant friend again? Disparage the Sophie Lennon?" Lenny asked, feigning disinterest by leaning back against a post.

Midge was always vehement that she and Lenny were just friends, but the fact that he was clearly pretending to be so casual about two of the hardest moments of Midge's comedy career was telling. Just what it was telling her, Susie wasn't really sure, but it reinforced her decision to seek him out for this. "What? No."

Lenny sighed. “Look, you know I like her, but at some point my reputation’s going to take a hit if I keep playing gigs for free, and, uh, between you and me, I don’t think it can stand to get much lower.”

“This isn’t about that,” Susie cried out, exasperated. It was time to pull out the big guns: “She needs you.”

He looked at his feet and took a long drag from his cigarette before meeting her eyes again. “Is she, uh, okay?”

“Yes. I think. But her career's back in the shitter.”

“And you expect me to do what?”

“I’m not asking you to do another gig. She messed up. And she’s alone and sad and she needs a friend. And I can’t do it, so it’s gotta be you or she’ll turn back to that asshole ex-husband of hers and god knows that is the last fuckin’ thing she needs. Miriam is not going to be insignificant and he makes her turn into a fuckin’ nobody.” God, Susie hated that guy. He represented everything wrong with men. He'd had a perfect woman like Midge and he'd thrown her away like fucking garbage.

“Well, we can’t have that now, can we?” he responded quietly.

Susie let out a breath. “Thank you. Asshole.” Fuck. She'd just called Lenny Bruce an asshole. And had been kind of a jerk to him in general. She was losing her goddamn mind. "I am so sorry, uh, Mr. Bruce, sir."

Lenny smirked at her. “Where is she?” he asked after a moment.

Susie looked at her feet and mumbled a response.

“I’m sorry, I don’t subscribe to the Strasbourg Method, I don’t speak mumble. You’ll have to speak up.”

“I don’t know, okay?” She exclaimed. “Look, she said some shit she shouldn’t have and Shy kicked her off the tour. She was upset, and after she had a good cry, she told me she needed to go figure out if it was still all worth it, whatever the hell that means, and just took off in a cab before I could stop her.”

“Midge got kicked off the tour?”

“Yes! Jesus fuck, Lenny, keep up. Look, I need you to go find her.”

“I’m sorry, isn’t it a manager’s job to manage her client?”

“Fine, if I’d’ve known you were gonna be a fucking prick about it, I wouldn’t have come. I’ll just go fuck off and find her fucking dick of an ex-husband to help Midge. Thanks for nothing, asshole.”

She turned around to leave and instantly began berating herself for speaking to a comic legend like Lenny Bruce like that. Still, she moved very slowly, hoping that he would stop her. She really didn’t want to have to involve Joel in this.

“Wait,” Lenny said finally.

“Oh thank God,” she mumbled, turning around.

He looked past her for a moment, then chuckled quietly to himself. “I know where she is.”

“Great... so are you gonna go or?“

“I’ll get her.”

Susie breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.” They stood looking at each other awkwardly for a few moments. “So I’ll just-“ Susie said, motioning toward the exit.

“Yeah,” Lenny said with a curt nod.

She took two steps out the door then heard him call her back.

“Hey,” he said. He sounded... not like Lenny Bruce. He sounded melancholic. He sounded sad. “Why me?”

“What?”

“There are other people in her life you could have come to, more important people, her parents for example, her former ex-husband. I bet even the doctor would leave a man’s chest open on his operating table just to chase after her. But me, I’m just a background character in her story. I’m not a leading man here. Why did you come to me?” He asked.

Susie would have laughed at the absurdity of Lenny Bruce standing so uncertain before her had his entire being not been shining with sincerity as he asked. This was a side to him she didn’t expect. This was a Lenny Bruce with demons, with self-doubt and self-loathing. Was this sincerity something that Midge was privy to? Because Susie definitely didn’t know how to handle it.

She could only put out so many metaphorical fires in one night.

"Oh, uh," she hesitated. Honestly, she wasn't sure why she'd come to him. She hadn’t even thought to ask anyone else – except Joel, but ew. Not if she could help it. But now that they were out of jobs, Susie needed to find a way to make Midge’s money back fast, so she couldn’t try to track her down. And if she couldn't go after Midge when she was down, Lenny Bruce was the next best choice. "Well, uh, you seem like you care about her, or whatever. And she uh, she told me a little bit about that night in Florida."

Lenny's interest piqued at the mention of Florida. "Oh," he said quietly. "She did, huh?” He cleared his throat and looked anywhere but at her. “She, uh, tell you how it ended?"

"She did not," Susie responded slowly. She knew Midge had left some things out when she'd told her about the date she insisted was not a date, she'd acted as nervous as a whore in church about the whole thing. And now Lenny Bruce stood before her, melancholic. And shy, almost? Something more had definitely happened between them.

"Look, far be it from me to give advice about love or relationships, I don't know the first thing about that shit. The longest relationship I ever had was with a plunger. God, I loved Pamela, may she rest in peace." She took a moment of silence for her beloved plunger, who Jackie had killed one afternoon at the Gaslight. They'd held a funeral. It had been beautiful, yet tragic. She breathed deeply and shucked it off, then turned back to Lenny. Right, she reminded herself, Lenny Bruce needed emotional support. What a weird fucking day.

"I don't know if you slept together, or didn't sleep together or whatever the fuck happened between you. I don’t need to know. But you obviously like her. And Midge can be a moron when it comes to men - have you met Joel? - but you mean something to her. Something special. Just give her time."

Lenny smirked at her around his cigarette, then tossed it and put it out with the toe of his shoe. She watched as he grabbed his jacket, then moved to follow her out the door. "Uh, thanks, for that," he said finally, grimacing slightly and scratching the back of his neck.

"You're, uh, welcome," Susie responded. They looked at each other awkwardly for the second time that night. "Right, so I'm gonna go," she said at last.

"Yeah," Lenny nodded, shoving his hands in his pocket.

She turned to leave, then turned back around. "For the record, she'll be happy it's you. If that uh, if that means anything."

He smiled tightly at her. "Thanks," he said. He turned to leave and gave her a little wave. "See ya, Susie," he said over his shoulder, walking away.

“Yeah, see ya,” she responded slowly. She shook her head a little - offering relationship advice to Lenny freakin’ Bruce was definitely not a thing Susie ever thought she’d do - and kept moving.

She desperately wanted to be the one drowning her sorrows with Midge, but she couldn’t be. Susie didn’t think she could really even face Midge right now. How do you tell your best friend and probably only client – she doubted Sophie would want her as a manager after that verbal sparring match outside the theater – that you lost every cent they’d made? No, she had to get their money back fast and she needed time and space to figure out how to do that without letting Midge know she’d been the one to lose it all in the first place.

Besides, she knew Midge was in good hands with Lenny. She could trust him to find her and take care of her the way she deserved to be taken care of.

Midge needed to be with someone who loved her. And tonight, that meant Lenny freaking Bruce.

Susie shook her head at herself incredulously and picked up her pace. “Weird fucking day.”

#the marvelous mrs. maisel #tmmm #tmmm fic #fanfiction #fanfic #lenny x midge #midge x lenny #susie myerson #tmmm spoilers #protective friends protecting their friends #my favorite subgenre #in which the author doesn't know how to end a fanfic #lenny bruce #miriam x lenny #midge maisel

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