#last life is ending soon

[s-aint-elmo]

girl who has suffered more than alll-mer

(ID in alt text)

#fear and hunger #fear and hunger termina #fear and hunger 2 #samarie fear and hunger #fear and hunger samarie #samarie #doodles #mine #so hard to tag for a mononymic character. girl get a last name. domek is right there #these are the three samarie emotions: yearning radiating and Abject Misery #she also gets an emotional support mini-rina. it's what she would have wanted #took a 5-hour crash course in funger bc i saw marina's moonscorched. ended up feeling so strongly for samarie i had to exorcise it thru art #you can't put a pathetic sopping wet shaking unhinged little creature in front of me and expect me not to itch to treat her kindly for the #first time ever in her life #poor little unloved lamb let me keep you and coddle you and cover you in blood. let me give you one good day like a mouse soon to be fed to #a pet snake. let me feed you to the snake regardless. #anyway. the psychic attacks i've been fielding bc of samarina have been relentless. can unwell teen girls stop reflecting my life circa #junior high school. thanks

[goemon-fan]

fujigoe

#this will likely be the last of my recent twcfm posts #but i did love goemon's (and fujiko's) depictions/relationships #all goemon wants is a friend like him since he feels so alone in the world #but he fell in love with a person who doesn't exist #and he keeps setting himself up for failure by hoping for fujiko to change into the woman he thought she was #only to end up more lonely since before meeting fujiko (the ending of twcfm “resolves” their relationship but it felt wrapped up too soon) #also i'm specifically thinking of the scene where they're on the beach and goemon interprets her actions as having been good and honest for #once only to end up disappointed when she hadn't changed for the better to be more in line with his values #as for fujiko she got closure from her trauma but her relationship with goemon went nowhere #she was too traumatized to understand that goemon was trustworty and genuinely did love her unlike all the other men in her life so far #but it was interesting to see her being comfortable “alone” after she dealt with her trauma as well as her new outlook on life #but i still feel bad for goemon; he deserved better and all he wanted was for someone to want/love him and make him feel he belongs #lupin iii #lupin the third #lupin the 3rd #goemon ishikawa xiii #goemon #fujiko mine #twcfm #the woman called fujiko mine #fujigoe

[awyanno]

When I saw this happen on stream, I knew what had to be done…

#this was so rushed #the quality could be better but I’m proud at how quick I made this lol #I had to speed run because I’m going on vacation & I wanted to get it posted before I left ;-; #again #you can tell who’s my favorite to draw #I’ll probably have more stuff to post at the end of the trip #I’ll be gone for so long ;-; #do you know how much happens within a day #let alone 2 weeks?! #foolish literally lost his last presidential life today #something nobody thought would happen #so soon #qsmp #q!maximus #q!aypierre #q!baghera #qsmp maximus #qsmp aypierre #qsmp baghera #qsmpshipping #qsmp shipping #tw suggestive #??? #furryduo #maxierre #my art

[ganondoodle]

I was at first in love with totk, and I still think mechanical wise, its quite impressive

And when I collected all the tears and saw the "story" I genuinely got upset in a good way (at first), because man! Did they really got the balls to go that far? Is there nothing I can do for her? Now I MUST do all the temples, see how it plays out and --oh, I've got this cutscene already. Why are all the people so dumb about Zelda, I KNOW where she is, Link say something-- Link??

After finishing all the temples and almost falling asleep, I stopped playing the game, looked up the last boss and remaining cutscenes and went "Thats it?"

Watching other people (including you) being critically about so many things, both character and mechanical wise, I've almost startled myself with a realization what the gnawing feeling I constantly had, actually was.

Totk feels like a fanfic.

And don't get me wrong, I love fanfiction, I think its great and important, I adore fanfic writers, I love finding gems, I love reading self indulgent stories, see new spins and interpretation of characters. I love the casual, the passion, the creativity!

But totk gives me the same feeling everytime I am reminded that Fifty Shades is a Twillight fanfic.

The world is there. The faces I know and grew to love are there. But everything is ever so slightly different, uncannily so. Just how some characters talk, how they act, how they were placed in the story. The Zonai appearing out of nowhere, but no, they always had been there you see, they were these super magical advanced people but they all died, the king is so tragic. And you see, the king is super cool and powerful and-- oh I dont get to interact with him outside of the tutorial. Did they try to do another King Rhoam-- but wait, that only worked because we didn't knew he was a ghost-- totk wait stop why do you take him out of the story, why couldn't he be a companion, he IS ABLE TO TALK THROUGH THE ARM LET THE OLD GOAT COMMENT ON STUFF?? If you bring up all this ancient stuff and you still got a ghost lingering, let him talk?? (I never ended up getting Mineru but I smell wasted potential as well)

Im not even mad, I am disappointed. It feels like the devs saw what all the lore hunters got attached to and talked about and then just... took the "cool". All the Zonai stuff could've easily been Sheikah tech, but got just reskinned to look more exciting instead of being its own thing.

Like... at this point I prefer what fans are doing over what Totk gave us. The characterization of Rauru (and everything Zonai), projects like you do of what totk couldve been, the little nuggets of actual highlights and details of love fans find in the game. I found much more enjoyment in these concepts than I got from a 70bucks game. And thats depressing.

I love fanfiction. I dont love it when my corporate 70 dollar, six year development, console exclusive game feels like a story that passionate fan couldve written miles better in a week (and I've already seen much cooler and interesting rewrites and ideas).

Zelda has been a huge part of my childhood and its depressing seeing it treated like that. It always was about the story, the epic, its The Legend of Zelda for crying out loud. To be courageous to enter a dungeon, to be wise and solve all the riddles. To become powerful over the journey you embarked on. Zelda to me is the campfire story you tell to others and go into the woods or the beach and imagine what monsters you would slay. Zelda is not the sandcastle you build in the sandbox and then add dinosaurs and star wars ships because you didn't had any other toys, and just stumble into and over some story to entertain yourself until lunch is ready.

I'd have an oracle of seasons over another totk any day at this point. They should've just make the mechanics of totk its own thing, but I guess they were scared it wouldn't sell if it doesn't have a Mario or Zelda skin straped over it.

Anyways, sorry for the mini rant - love your art, love your thoughts and insights, and I am looking forward to see more of it - Zelda related or not (your original characters look amazing, I adore your style sm)

Hope you have a great rest of the day!

*nods along through this entire rant*

idk how many of my rants you have read but yeah ... yeah ... and the further you think about it the further it all falls apart, the wasted potential of it all and the goddamn audacity of them to do those interviews in which they make it EVEN WORSE is just

i know the expectation for a direct sequel to botw was huge and understandbly so but i really REALLY think it would not have been that hard to make it a good follow up even taking into account that totk was originally a DLC, pretty much all of botws aspects could have been developed further, i dont know what could have happened to make totk have turned out like this .. literally it feels like something had to have gone wrong, its like someone who doesnt know zelda nor botw at all was given a few prompts and then just made some generic fantasy story while the rest worked on ultrahand for 5 years

the technical impressive things ARE technical impressive, but i dont think it was necessary nor served the game well in any way (and i LOVE building games- however totk is neither a building game nor a story game nor a zelda game nor an exploration game nor a sequel imo) but zelda, this zelda, is not made for that and i cant help but think it was mainly to encourage people to make some ridiculous mechs so it can go viral on tiktok (not trying to discredit them, it IS cool what they are doing but i .... have my doubts if zelda is the right place for that)

ill stop there bc i have ranted so much about everything i dont wanna repeat it here again; it just doesnt feel like a real game (derogatory), it feels extra bad bc i was not really into zelda when botw came out and while i did get it as soon as i could (months after release since i just started a minijob and didnt have the money) i only over time grew to love zelda this much again, devouring any theories and anything about it bc i loved it so much- i was never into it like this when a new title was announced and dont own any special editions so i bought the totk collectors bc i was just so damn excited for it after the 2019 trailer dropped (god i want that time back ... it looked so much more like it was going to be an actual sequel) even if i was already worried it wouldnt be good at that point given how much i started to sense stuff i dont like about the newer trailers

i recently sold it at our local gameshop bc it was like a thorn in my side given how expensive it was and how dissapointed i was in the game, i genuinely think that, technical impressiveness aside, totk is the onyl zelda i truly cannot stand (for alot of reasons) and im genuinely worried for the future of the franchise

i bought an Oki (Okami) figurine for what i got back and i feel much happier with that :3

(also on a note, i did finish the game two weeks after release but stopped playing it right then and hadnt touched it since, i also streamed all of what i played and its still up if you want to see my slow descend into madness fjkdhkdhjk though its been a long while since then and i by far did not talk about everything back then, just what my most immediate frustrations were while still playing)

(also the gameplay isnt as good as people make it out to be, so much is so frustrating and punishing to use i am kinda baffled it got through like that and most people call that its best aspect ..... though i guess if the rest is so much worse even mid gameplay can seem good ooooooooh how dare i)

also thank you for liking what i do!!! <3 it means alot to know it is appreciated by someone :D

#ganondoodles answers #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #in my playthorugh i genuinely tried to be super open to what its offering me #but i think its pretty clear that i could see were it was going pretty soon and tried to fight my fear #and then i ended up being right #like i even went out of my way to get the memories and dungeons in turns so i wouldnt spoil anything #and still you can see me get sadder and dissappointed with each new memory i got #and the time it truly all started to crumble was when i discovered what they did to the shrine of life #pretty sure after i got all the lightroots and all i got was a you did it sticker i jsut gave up and went to the end #and after that i found the endfight fun so i played it a few more times #but the last few streams were mostly me ranting jkdfngvkjdfnhgjkdf #for this price its pretty bad #idk why so many people are okay with this tbh #zelda fans deserve better #i think the wasted potential and insulting treatment of both lore - botw and even the player is what frustrates me so much #sidenote i love the username bc there sure are words #alot of them even #(good) #i have done so much ranting it feels good to read someone elses rant about similar frustrations

[rhymaes]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook, Ep. 40 // The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights, John Steinbeck

#the entire fucjing series. that last line was floating through my head. from eps 29-40 I couldn’t believe. how cruelty it held up #AND MERLIN BADE FAREWELL TO THE KING HE HAD CREATED #TO DIRECTOR DI’S ‘there will always be new legends’ & EVERYONE NOTICING FANG DUOBING’S GROWTH #AROUND THE EXACT TIME HE CHOOSES TO ABANDON THE GOAL OF RECOGNITION BECAUSE HE WANTS TO STAY WITH HIM #he wants. to live with him. SORRY BUTIT IS THE EXACT THREE AUTUMS FIC QUOTE ‘I want to be alive with him again’ AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN #ITS WHAT HE CHOOSES. AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN HE CANNOT HAVE IT. #because li lianhua believe his life is his legend & his legend is over. and it’s fang duobing’s turn & its. it’s. SOMETIMES YOU LOVESOMEONE #SO MUCH YOU END UP ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THEM #anyway u wouldn’t believe the ammount of screenshots in my album rn so yeah you’ll all b seeing a lot more parallel posts soon SO. THEY ARE #JUST. THE PERFECT TRAGEDY. YOU CAN DIE AND COME BACK BUT YOU DONT COME BACK AND YOU DONT GET TO DIE QUIETLY AND YOU ARE SO PRESENT YOU ARE #INEVITABLY REWRITTEN OVER AND OVER IN FROMT OF YOUR OWN FACE!!!! anyway. okay. okay. the End. for now #mysterious lotus casebook #li lianhua #li xiangyi #di feisheng #fang duobing #parallels

[starchasersunseeker]

Is it just me and my fyp or is it finally another wave of people reading / talking about crimson rivers? Because if so I am /so/ here for it!!!

Crimson rivers is a masterpiece that broke me and put me back together over and over again too many times to count

The worst part was that I predicted everyone's deaths {of those that did end up dying} and knew exactly when it was going to happen...

Like in the chapters that it happened I could sense it.. I knew it was coming so every time i started sobbing before it even happend.. they were still all good and happy and I was already crying and mourning them 😭💔

Anyway happy reading to everyone getting into it or rereading it!! {I am living for all of this new cr content}

#crimson rivers #cr #marauders era fic #jegulus #starchaser #sunseeker #wolfstar #dorlene #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #marlene mckinnon #yes those last 3 were the ones im talking about #they were the bigest predictions that i wish i hadent predicted #the second the first time Reg described Barty as a constant i knew it was coming #the second Dorcas got attached to Marlene i knew Marlene would die #Evan being the first broke me #the second Reg started thinking that maybe he and Evan could be friends i knew Evan would die soon #Dorcas's ending broke my heart #Jegulus's ending healed it #Regulus “my fiance actually” Black full on updating James about their life #Him still doing it years later #Regulus “hi honey welcome home meet your new kids” #James just going along with it every time #he is just happy to be here for the ride

[art-by-fate]

Sorry for the lack of anything this past month, take this sneak peek frame of the animation I’ve been working on for 8 months as an offering :D

#I’ve just been hyperfocused on ArtFight do not worry #I will return soon (artfight only lasts till the end of July) #Life series #double life #grian #big b #fanart #I’ve been trying to get an artfight attack out every day and so far I have succeeded 💪

[zenith-at]

thank you tsukumizu

#i had a sudden urge to write about how much i love tkmiz's works now that shimeji simulation ended #but i dont really know what to say tbh but really tkmiz has influenced my life a ton in the last few months and reshaped me in massive ways #(rewatching girls last tour and reading manga properly this time and reading shimeji and other things) #you should watch girls last tour and read girls last tour and read shimeji simulation asap #p.s. if any of my followers were wondeirng ive been mostly inactive on tumblr due to a lot of irl stress and other personal issues #i will return some time soon #also sorry for microblogging in the tags im just trying to avoid having to use microblog tag #shijimarin #shoujo apocalypse adventure #(shimeji simulation and girls last tour) #i probably need to make a generic tkmiz tag lol

[archduke-enver-gortash]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again. #sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does #like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful #while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child #like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all. #imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child #only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you #his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you #agree deep down #and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept #but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide #and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke #and you discarded it and got a new one #and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow #and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it #until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly #and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different #and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child #and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da #and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand #but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs! #so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee #his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing #and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately. #but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when. #like. imagine that. jesus dude. #like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love #or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do #with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here. #but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like

[nerosdayinanime]

ok i originally just wanted to think of something w obagiyuu but then it went to obamitsugiyuu but then sabiuzui happened and now its a full on everyone lives au with everyone hugging the last 3 ubuyashiki kids just after kiriya announces the demon slayer corps disbanded and im Crying

#kny manga spoilers #kny spoilers #<just bc its an original post #mitsuri got so emotional she had to hug him but she forgot she lost both her arms. #obanai cant see whats going on so giyuu pulls him over with his remaining arm and they act as her arms for her :) #everyone else joins in very soon after pulling in the other 2 with them #some kakushi sprinted to bring a camera to document the last moment of the demon slayer corps as something joyous #finally get to unveil my sabito lives au idea- in the final battle sabito & giyuu were fighting together and sabito saw an attack coming #before giyuu did so he shoved giyuu out of the way- muzan's attack still got most of giyuu's arm and the end of sabito's forearm #sabito was horrified for a moment bc. that was far to close to losing giyuu in a fuckin *instant* #something something even earlier genya & muichiro live because sanemi stopped koku from fully cutting genya in half & genya regenerated #enough to chomp through the sword going through his mouth. made him more monstrous like how koku was about to do and it had the same 'is #that what i become? what im becoming? and for what- power? life? this isnt worth it' and explodes himself #all 4 of them patch up and recover as much as they can before joining everyone else w muzan #sanemi telling genya that under NO CIRCUMSTANCE is he to eat part of muzan. kokushibo was already pushing it the demon king himself? FUCK n #anyways it all started at an inn on a joint mission with sabito & giyuu and obanai #giyuu & obanai were kinda just chilling while sabito was out and about doing who knows what #'im bored' 'what do you expect me to do about that?.' 'wanna check out the onsen with me?' 'wh.' 'do you think kaburamaru would like the #warmth?' '..i dont know' 'onsen?' 'fine.' que giyuu giving him a towelette to tie over his nose & tying his hair up with an extra he brough #obanai thinks hes weird but is very touched by the gestures nonetheless. they speak sparsely until sabito joins (giyuu left a note) & #starts up a bit more conversation. it gets quiet after a while and sabito looks over and notices giyuu's little smile as hes laying his hea #back on his folded towel on the edge. 'what are you so happy about?' obanai looks over and sees it too 'hanging out with my friends is nice #'plural?' both of them look @ him 'yeah- we're friends right? ..can we be friends?' obanai doesnt answer and focuses back on kaburamaru #swimming around his arms. he glances over at them chatting between themselves about some minor thing- (either theyll scorn me or... or) #he takes off the towel covering his face- neither of them mention it immediately even if he catches them giving a glance or two #'do your scars make it hard to move your face? i think mine cut through the muscle. cant smile as much on this side' he looks at #sabito tapping his scarred cheek. giyuu's back to trying to sleep in the water 'not.. much.. its only deep near my mouth' said quieter #towards the end as he focused back on kabu (his prime excuse to avoid eye contact) sabito nodded and kept chatting about whatever- giyuu #quietly enjoying listening to them. kabu got too hot for the water and curled up next to giyuu's head on the towel. obanai actually enjoyin #himself around other people (than sanemi) its nice :) +theyre still on a mission together for a few more days so its not a one-off thing

[chilapis]

Just came back from the exam, I hope everyone is doing well.

#the exam itself was fine; I finished well in time and the questions were definitely easier than what i was expecting. #i ended up having an argument as soon as i got back to the car though so uh? I don’t know. i’m not really as excited as i was last time. #this did remind me why i wanted to get a scholarship so bad though. cannot wait to get the hell out of here. #i haven’t felt safe in this house for a single second of my life i am. i don’t even know. #i’m so cold. i’m so thirsty. i’m hungry. I’m so tired and so overwhelmed and i . do not know #wow i really wish this family actually felt like family and didn’t make me feel like i was going to get hurt at literally every given moment #two more years and i’ll be out. thank fuck. i hate this hostility. i hate the expressions and the yelling and the violence and i want out #sorry for being such a downer on this lovely monday uh. yeah. #🥀 #vent #<- in case anyone doesn’t want to see whatever the hell this is.

[orcelito]

My nails r getting kind of long. Almost to claw mode. I kinda don't wanna cut them tho bc I kinda wanna paint them for my birthday weekend

Nonzero chance of seeing my mom on mother's day. By my own choice, I guess. And I'm still not sure how I'm feeling about that. But ykno what, it'll be my birthday weekend, and I'm going to make sure to live it to the fullest..!!!

#speculation nation #my thoughts about her are all jumbled up after losing my dad & then her hospital visit a few weeks back. #and i bought her a thing of earrings from the farmer's market. i havent bought her a present in Years. #idk if it's just compulsory reaction to How Things Are rn. but. idk. #it never has been simple i suppose. #god i really do hate that my birthday is always near mother's day..!!!!! my forever curse!!!!! #at least leap year made me dodge a day-of event this year. the last one was when i turned 21 #but bc of leap year my bday went from saturday to monday. missing mother's day by a day ❤️ #makes me wonder what sort of life i'll be living 6 years from now. when i think the next mother's day event will be. #will i still have a mother then? i have no fuckin clue #my heart tells me no. but i also have 'everyone in my life is going to die soon' paranoia now so thats probably biased. #Oh Well. either she dies or she doesnt! i'll deal with it either way. #in any case. birthday! nail painting!!! i think i want to do color changing nails #my favorite blue/green polish that ends up being teal on the in between. love that shit so much

[deus-ex-mona]

have you listened to meoto? yes? good!!!!! listen to it again~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!

#i fear that this song has changed me for life dangit #can’t even sit down for 3 minutes without thinking ‘ehehehehehe meoto mv coming soon’ #i mean. c m o n. if these two already act like an old married couple 24/7 imagine what they’d do as an *actual* married couple #man. i want the last scenes of the mv to be something like lxl thanking the staff for their hard work at the mv ‘filming’ #t h e n aizo trips on his hakama as they turn to each other or sth and falls forward and they accidentally kiss just as the song ends— #d. d o you s e e my vision auauauauauauauaaaaaaa #i can’t w a i t to see how they’ll even be able to act more lovey dovey than they do in *that* ny aizo unevolved 5⭐︎ #anyways. i think everyone needs to listen to the lxl album radio tracks instead of wondering if there even will be a meoto mv #c’mon guysssss they outright confirm its existence t h e r e it’s just a matter of w h e n it comes out now auauauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaaa #. or actually. maybe don’t listen to the first lxl radio. if i didn’t i wouldn’t be thinking about the meoto mv 24/7 #hauauauauauuauaaaaaaaaaaaaa meoto mv w h e n hw pls give some crumbs im begggingghhhh #anyways. i think it’s about time for a meoto tag to filter out all this nonsense. #LXL MEOTO CRISIS 2K24 #there… now time to go back to retag everything else lmaoooooo #染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—

[yeonban]

Sometimes I think about posting the one meme which goes "I want to ____ you" and see what your muses fill it in with for my muses but knowing my muses, I can already foresee an army of "kick" "beat" and "kill" <- in that order

#tbd. #* ooc. / posts. #ADHUISADHASUHDSAHD to be fair I too would beat them all up! ^_^ maybe kiss their wounds afterwards idk but FIRST. kick!!! #Anw I've been legit fighting for my life irl for the past few days and am being tortured by my own traitorous body as we speak #but I hope against hope that I'll soon be free to write and reply to dms bc lord knows when I last was able to... #My profs are the personification of irritating bc the SECOND we think we finished all our assignments and can breathe for 2 seconds #we receive 30 new emails saying hi! forgot to tell you this but you have a 12 page long assignment by the (checks watch) end of this week #like??!??!?!!? did ~3 of them for last Thursday now I have another 5 for Tuesday; 1 for Wednesday; 2 more for this Thursday #and then a random RNG one I guess bc my prof told us about it but then never posted the deadline. only an eerie 'by next week' #(aka this upcoming week) so fuck me I suppose AHDIUASHDISAHD #I just want to talk w my beloved friends and write silly things on tumblr dot com is that so much to ask for............. gawd

[asterdeer]

not to be like “i miss college” even though i do but mostly i think i miss being smart. before depression and life events had chewed up and partially swallowed my brain. just getting to problem solve and think, being Very Into something as the norm. i know being an english major is basically the easiest thing you can be at the undergrad level but i do feel like that was the one and only time in my life where my natural state was actually a pro instead of a con. i graduated with the highest honors and absolutely no one cared but i cared

#aster chat #family life exploding exactly one (1) month from graduation is still just. it. god. it was almost seven years ago and it still hurts #SO much. i had worked so hard to graduate with the honors i did #i took a 400 level history class in my 2nd semester with one of the hardest humanities profs and i got a B #i basically lived in a break room for a whole semester because my misophonia was so bad with my roommate at night #i stashed pillows and blankets behind a couch and slept there to stay sane enough to write my papers #i got so close to Ending Things three times and DIDN'T #my professors LOVED ME #and then graduation came and it was just. over. #went right back home to sit between my parents as much as i could and get yelled at and watch everything go down the drain #like as soon as i walked out of college i stopped existing except as something for my parents and my job to use up #like. i know it's cringy to still be thinking about college but that was the last time i mattered as myself. you know #people liked me because of my brain! my thoughts! not for what i could do for them or for a paycheck #me qua me #okay lmao Antidepressant Time bye #no offense but my english classes wouldn't have made me feel weird about saying 'boon' instead of 'pro' up there #i changed it to not sound like an assclown but my profs would have thought it was funny.

[shopwitchvamp]

also a warning for today: Some of today's designs I don't have a bunch to restock, but Mage Midis in particular uhhh I just messed up at some point. Thought I'd ordered more at the end of last year but it turns out I did not! So there's gonna be.. one C Size available. Why is that all that I have? I don't know :[ but it's all that I have right now

#i'm gonna run preorders again at the end of this month for wizard/mage/sorcerer stuff as well as things from last week's restock- #and a few more random designs #'cause i guess i could only afford or fit so much stuff in the last two orders from last year & ended up cutting more out of my restocks- #than i remembered :[ #so if you're looking for something in particular and i don't have that size/design pls hold on until preorders #i gotta figure out what dates will work but i'll let everyone know soon #wahhh stressed #taxes and life have got me down y'all i'm hanging on by a thread