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berlinini · 2 years

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Clem's Tour Commentary: Vancouver (y/n edition aka my show)

Sooooo!!! Last May I was lucky enough to get tickets for the Vancouver show, which wasn't sold out at the time, and Portland 2, which had just been announced. I love Vancouver so I thought I'd visit once again. Having heard of the city of Portland, and especially because of the venue (one of the smallest of the tour, with GA), I thought let's do both! I ended up buying tickets to LA and so for months I have been thinking about what I called Clem's West Coast Tour 2022. This has been a simple way to explain to friends and family the reason of my trip - and get concerned looks at the idea that I was seeing the same artist 3 times, to which I wanted to say... bestie I'll have seen the show 20 times before I even set foot in the first venue...!!! I know the show by heart at this point! Anyways.

All of this to say, you can imagine the anticipation of finally seeing Louis live myself, especially after witnessing his performances over livestreams for the last 5 weeks, and after months of waiting and incertitude!

As usual, I wrote a full length novel about my experience, so each show will have its own post. Recap under the cut! :)

VANCOUVER

Pre-Show

The show was on Sunday night and I started feeling jittery on Saturday. I went to check out the venue, unfortunately Louis' name wasn't on the marquee. Sunday around noon I went around the artist's entrance and fans were already lining up to see Louis arrive. I spent the rest of the day being a mess. The show was an all seated venue, which I loved because I found it less stressful, and thought it would be as good as Nashville. Oh! And by the power of the Louie God, I had the chance to exchange my balcony tickets for better seats in the orchestra, in ROW 28 so!!! It was a blessed event! Even more so because Louis showed up at the venue in PURPLE???? Very truly blessed!

Me and my excellent solo louie companion @bbrox arrived around 7:30pm, and lined up in the short line (there were two lines because there are two entries to the venue). Upon entering (at 8, so we knew the show would be delayed), we saw that the lines for the merch stands were a literal maze going up and down the stairs, it was insane!!! The venue was SO beautiful, a palace fit for a King. We got drinks, which was funny because I got carded (being confused for a 19 yo is always nice) and my mind was elsewhere so after that I took my drinks and started leaving and they were like... girl you have to pay! That gives you an idea of my state of mind! We renounced getting merch and decided to join our seats. Row 28 baby!!! It was the last row, right in front of some of the sound consoles. We did a little visit of the front of the stage, where people were taking pics. You could feel how everyone was so excited! Sun Room was nice, and the girls in front of us were apparent fans and it was very cute to see. During the break @captainlouisuniverse (which I sadly didn't get to meet :\) texted me to say that if you payed cash at the merch counter you could go quicker. So we jumped on the opportunity and cut the queue (sorry not sorry). I got the white tour t-shirt (with the eye!!!). Also, I asked the venue lady if they were handing out water and she was like...well you have to pay for it?! and honestly I'm suing LTHQ for discrimination against Canadians fans...

It's Showtime!!!

I was SO nervous when Smells Like Teen Spirit started playing and we KNEW the guys would get on stage, we KNEW the drums to WMI were coming up and we knew LOUIS was coming up!!! To paraphrase Louis, one year of built up energy!!! The atmosphere in the room was crazy, Louis showed up wearing all black (so sexy of him!!!) and honestly from that it's just a blur of emotions...

Compared to Portland show (more on that later), I have a hard time describing how Vancouver felt. I hardly remember stuff... (ok this 1 000 words post is saying otherwise) Maybe because it was too intense on a emotional level, maybe it's because I wasn't as close to the stage... It's gonna sound weird but I was so focused on myself during that show and on the communal experience in the room. It really felt like we were sharing a moment, after such a long time waiting. When I think about it there was Louis singing, me singing with Louis, and the awesome atmosphere. I was just living the moment and I honestly felt like I deserved to have this moment of pure joy considering how bleak life has been for the last two years.

And the way I experienced the show was so different from watching it online - I didn't care to find out what brand Louis was wearing, I didn't care to rate the crowd, I wasn't focusing on Louis reacting to fan signs, hell I hardly looked at the guys (except Michael). I wasn't trying to take pictures (RIP my iPhone XR's shitty lense) or get Louis' attention, I just wanted to have a good time and give him a good time. The crowd was good and all the fandom drama was far away - we were there and we were happy, and so was Louis and the band. The songs just kept on coming, with the rush of OMG THIS IS XYZ!!! and before you knew it, we were losing our minds to KMM and it was over.

I had so much energy singing and jumping around and yeah one thing about me is that I scream a lot at concerts (RIP the people standing besides me), so I did that. I screamed. A lot. I had no voice at the end of the show... I was so hot, thank God I was wearing layers but my fleece-lined platform Converse were very uncomfortable. Suddenly I understood the fans fainting in the pit - at least we had room to move around.

My (almost) enemies to lovers story with Matt Vines:

Ever since being in Vancouver at the same time as Louis and his band but especially ever since knowing me and Michael had walked the same street on the same day, my mind was going overdrive with some y/n fantasies, which became a running gag among some of you here (I love you all). It wouldn't be the first time in this fandom that fans think they're in a fanfic, however I'm not dumb enough to think Louis will invite me on his tour bus so I had placed all my hopes (delusions) on Michael, because... well you know why. So that was the joke. Alas, if someone noticed me (even that...) from that night it was... Matt Vines.

Matt was standing behind us, a little bit to my left, in between the sound consoles. He was there almost the whole time, on his phone for a good part. I know because I looked at him a few times, since @silverfoxlou had given me the order to give him a stinky eye if I ever saw him. So I sent him bad energy. So what happened for me to say he noticed me? Well bestie don't believe anything you read on tumblr dot com especially dodgy fan reports because nothing concrete happened LOL. But I was so close to him and as I said I screamed so much, jumped so much, that there's no way Matt didn't at least looked at me once and thought: who is that crazy chick with her wannabe Ariana Grande ponytail and her bouncing cross-body bag and who's wearing awesome Converses (ok there's no way he saw my shoes). Dreams do come true!!!! If anything I hope he saw me going hard on the non-1D songs and I set a good example of solo fans (as if that was written on my forehead lol - though my attitude during Habit probably gave a clue). Anyways, fuck you Matt I still hate you.

Some honorary mentions of the show (the bits that I recall):

The lights during Two Of Us: this was not a fan project, it just happened organically? Not to brag (but I will) but I was one of the first to put my torch out, it just seemed like it fit with the emotion of the song? I'm glad we had that <3

There was a fan project for the rainbow lights for OTB . We didn't have a lot of flags (some will say we were homophobic for that), but it was still a very emotional moment. I haven't seen what the rainbow lights looked like - that's what happens when you're at the back of the venue... Also, it's interesting to see how the perspective is different being live vs being "front row" via a stream.

We did the lights for Beautiful War as demanded asked by Louis. That song always makes me tear up and hearing it live, I feel so lucky. Just thinking about this makes me emotional.

Louis messed up Walls (video) which I didn't realize because unfortunately I always forget Walls #dontcancelme. I'm so glad we got to scream YOU WERE MY BECAUSE to him twice!!! It was so awesome!

This was me when Habit rolled on. I boycotted the song and kept my mouth shut, yes I'm petty. I hope Matt caught that.

When the drums to 7 started playing I was going INSANE. Unfortunately the crowd wasn't that much into it but me and my bestie went 110% on it, I was out of breath at the end, it was everything I ever dreamed off. I had a slight obsession with that song last summer, so seeing it live was a real #wemadeit moment.

I had this urge to scream "Michael you're so hot" because... why not... but didn't want to be disrespectful, so finding the right time felt tricky, but luckily I saw an opening during the band pic break. Around 0:35 in this video if you squint really hard you can almost hear it? God I wish I had been closer or had a louder voice. Anyways I hope he heard me <3 If anything Matt definitely did so I count that as a win in the things he's gonna tell Louis and Michael about me because he totally noticed me and talked about and this is my y/n moment

OK but talking about Michael being hot... He's insanely talented and the way he works that guitar during 7, LBD, is sooooo hot!!! He's just out there manspreading like a king while a whole venue is screaming for him, go little rock star!!! I'm also "manspreading" thinking about it but for different reasons

Fearless: I've been saying for months that hearing Fearless live would cure me and boy did it work!!! It's so good!!! I still have the reflex of singing "enjoy this Crystal Palace" (lol) I hope Louis would give us a "enjoy this (name of city)", because it's the perfect introduction - he know... he knows.

Defenseless and Always You are so good, fuck the person at Sony who didn't make at least one of them a single, because you can tell these are bops that the crowd loves. It was awesome to sing "it's been two years since I saw your face" and "just wanna be loved by YOU" to Louis, the way he reclaimed those songs, go off my love.

The energy for KMM was insane (video), it's such a good way to end the show, but it's also so bittersweet? The high is insane and then you're left to yourself, with the inevitable realization that it's over... :(

See @seasurfacefullofclouds1's wonderful highlight post about the show here.

Post Show:

In true Groupie Fashion™️, and because we couldn't handle the show being over over, we waited outside to see Louis getting on the bus. We spotted Oli going back and forth several times, Kyrstle and Jessie (to whom I sent bad vibes) going on the other bus, Isaac, Zak and Matt getting on the bus together.

Then LOUIS!!! The King of England! God I can't believe he was there, right across the street from me (video). He got in pretty quick and then sat at the window like the annoying little shit that he is, just being there and basking in the attention (Michael's that is). I truly wondered how it must be like for him...Like there is no reason for him to have that window open (except for when he smoked)?? He's just a superstar. The crowd was shouting "Louis we love you" and because I had to balance my karma from my 'Michael you're so hot' shout out, I yelled at least two times "you're so pretty" because Louis needs to know it and also I love to objectify men.

Michael arrived late, by himself, with his huge backpack, which is one of the things I considered worthy of my camera roll. I have 3 blurry pics to prove it.

JD and Wolsey were stellar in their crowd management, especially because it was a busy street with a lot of cars (and trams - we were joking that the tram would block Louis from our view when he got out, à la Walls mural van). At some point the fans shouted some praise for JD and Wolsey and Joshua was filming and it made a little bit of a commotion, thus prompting Louis to curiously put his head out... Drama queen!

Joshua was hanging out a bit outside the bus, taking pics from under the window. Charlie was really doing the rounds, he was so close to me, I almost started chatting him up about dinners in Portland. Instead I made sure my mask was all up so I wouldn't be recognizable if I ever make it in that damn documentary he's making (another 18 months before I find out, another y/n moment wow I'm so lucky).

Post-Show: the Crowd/ Fandom stuff (anecdotal notes that you can skip if you're tired of reading this essay):

The crowd waiting outside was interesting. They started singing No Control - it was inevitable... but luckily it was the first time of the night, since we didn't get it during the show break. The problem with my brain is that I just start singing songs without realizing what they are - I'm on automatic mode. I truly thought we were singing Miss You before I realized it was NC... RIP. They also sang Home, WMYB and later Perfect Now (cute). At some point the singing got drowned by shout of 'we love you', which was nice.

In waiting we chatted a bit with the girls close to us and this hilarious (to me) interaction happened, when Louis was still inside and someone rolled out a box:

Girl: OMG maybe he's pulling a Harry and he's hiding in that box LOL

Me, turning around: excuse me? Céline was doing that first

Other girl: yeah I was going to say Taylor did it before Harry

Me: Sorry. Céline Dion.

Don't disrespect the queen like this UGH.

Also some fans were acting like the fandom police telling other what to do/ not to cross the street and I rolled my eyes to far back into my skull. Can we not? It's not your job so please stay in your lane.

Anyways, it was fun to wait out for Louis and see him, and I could already picture the gifs I would see on tumblr the day after of his adorable face out the window. It was a bit strange to think about how the show would be "perceived" and brought me back to fans who've been saying that livestreams don't do justice. I know it was a good show but at the same time I truly didn't give a damn about how people on tumblr and twitter had reacted - I had a good time, we had a good time. Louis sounded amazing, the crowd was loud and supportive, it's all that matters!

I feel like this was all over the place... thanks for keeping up with my Thoughts™️

TLDR: I fucking love Louis Tomlinson.

PS: for another recap of the night you can read @bbrox's post here

#clem's tour commentary #ltwt:vancouver #(y/n edition aka my shows)#tumblr user berlinini #ltwt fan report

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