#lu you stupid bisexual bless ur heart

[letitrainathousandflames]

First off, I loved the story. Second, what happened 👀👀👀

(Not particularly heavy stuff, but an emotionally abusive situation is mentioned, so TW for that, I guess? Also if u have anything u want me to tag here, just send me an ask and I'll do it. Also this is a long post, but that's what u get for asking someone with adhd to tell a story ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Alright, so like I said, I my first bf and I met in highschool and we stayed together from me being 15 to 26. A decade plus one of emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, my friends being cut off to further my isolation, and me being too inexperienced to see the guy for the asshole he was.

And, like I said, my therapist from that time was a goddamn genius who saw how much I was suffering but also could tell I would not get out of that situation willingly bc I was so used to that being my life and the whole "he can't be abusive - he never hit me!" mentality that I couldn't see that he would cheer me up when I was down - but he was the one to put me down to begin with!

So she said "how about you two take a break? One month away from each other, with no strings attached, not bf and gf anymore, so you can see whether this is a relationship worth fighting for" (it wasn't, lmao)

Me, a week after: so, he's gonna be traveling in two months after this one and-

She, very serious: fascinating! let's make it three months then! You'll meet again when he's back, it'll be great for everyone!

The thing is, when you date someone that swallows up your entire life and cuts your bridges to everyone else, you end up pretty lost and alone (this is literally the tactic cults use to force people to stay in the cult, by making sure they won't have a community to support them once they are out).

But! My bff, bless her heart, never left my side no matter how often I would ghost her while i was still dating. And after I'd spent that first month (november of that year) moping and crying like someone had died, she invited me to go clubbing and I actually got to dance and be silly for the first time since my early teens!

Being undiagnosed autistic/adhd and having my ex as my only social interaction outside of my family AND not doing well socially in school bc bullying made it a bit of a challenge to come on to people, so my bff would be my wingwoman - hey, my friend thinks you're cute, etc.

For some reason, the ladies shot me down a lot, which sucked bc I really wanted to kiss a girl and "find out" whether I was bi (I thought I needed this as proof, lol). But the boys had those looney-tunes eyes at me so I got to kiss some of them and it was fun and stupid and so freeing.

And then there was her. Julia. Even my adhd brain still remembers her name. She was much taller than I, with full, black hair and a raspy voice that made me go heart eyes over her. I asked my bff to chat her up to me, and when instead of politely shaking her head with an apologetic smile as the other girls did, she walked up to me.

Then she asked me whether I wanted to kiss her, and I said yes, and she leaned over me and the world stopped spinning for a moment because I was kissing a girl and it was soft and sweet and good and oh my god, so I do like girls, of course I do, they are so pretty and amazing and oh wow, I am bisexual, that's a lot to unpack and-

And then she was smiling, and saying goodbye bc she wanted to meet up with her friends, and I was left in the middle of that rooftop dance floor, under the stars, my ears ringing and my face burning hot. I had my answer. I had my truth. I had it all along, but now it was real.

So just on account of that, month two (december of that year) was already chalked down as better than the entire time I had ever spent with my not-yet-entirely-ex, but I went out with my bff other times and had just as much fun. Incidentally, the hidden quickie with the handsome guy only happened bc I was intensely fueled by a spiteful thought of "aw hell no, I won't close this year without having boned someone other than [redacted]!". So uh. Yeah. The say love makes you do things, but hooo boy, the things that spite makes u do!

Anyway, moving on! January rolled out and my soon-to-be-ex sent me a text for us to meet, and we did. We caught up at some public place, and at some point he asked me whether I wanted to get back together.

Now, the first sentence that popped into my brain, in all caps, was: "I'D RATHER DOUSE MYSELF IN GASOLINE AND LIGHT A MATCH LMAO" but I unfortunately held back enough to say "I think we're much too different people now" while choking back laughter. So he asked to be just friends and I was like, ah well, I guess?

And we had this whole talk in the cab on the way to drop me off at my place, and this is where the nickname to which I refer to him now, "the deceased", came to be.

See, he was very clearly trying to lay the groundwork to try and build a relationship with me again, talking abt how different people can still get along even if they're exes bc we are both so emotionally mature, etc.

And I jokingly say the most absurd thing I could think: "yeah, and even if we're different, it's not like you're gonna... idk, vote for bolsonaro".

And he did a double take. And. Very shyly, he said he was, in fact, gonna vote for him. Y'know the genocidal, pro-dictatorship, homophobic, corrupt, nightmare of a president with which we were later plagued with for four years in the middle of a pandemic.

That's when I realized this dude wasn't worth keeping around even as a distant acquaintance, and I had a whole mental funeral for this guy bc he would be dead to me from then on. Sad music, flowers, the whole thing. Rip in piss, as y'all say around here.

Once we arrived by my place's door, I asked him to wait in the cab while I went up real quick. When I came back, he was like "oh?? you wanna go somewhere else from here?"

and I simply shoved the very large plastic bag I'd carried down on the seat next to him, explaining: "no, it's just that this is all your crap that was still in my house and I don't want it here anymore. Bye."

What a terrific place to end this story! How dramatic! I mean, that guy was the worst thing I've ever had cling to me in my life, and that includes that one time in the woods when I was a kid and like a hundred ticks bit me.

Well, close the curtains on this show, then! This is a satisfying ending and surely you never heard of him again, right, OP? Right, OP????

[press X for the next stupid anecdote about the deceased]

[press Y to never hear about the deceased again]

[vanilla extract] (sorry I had to)

-

If this made you laugh, buy me a ko-fi to help me continue to afford the therapy I so clearly need lmao

#long post/ #lu's stories #abusive relationships/ #emotional abuse/ #what I love about this story is that the only thing that might be wrong there are some dates bc adhd brain #but yeah it was. a ride #i still quote the gasoline quote sometimes #also obsessed with my stupidass logic: #ok u wanna kiss girls. u find them hot. but what if you kiss one??? and don't like it??? then ur het #lu you stupid bisexual bless ur heart