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nonokoko13 · 2 years

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SXF Chapter 65

Hi! How are you doing? Hope you are well. It's been a while since I last made review, I kinda missed it haha. I thought it wouldn't take me too much to analyze it but it ended up being longer than I expected, hope you enjoy yourself as much as I did when I read this chapter!

TW: Mild swearing in some parts. Sorry, I'm quite foul-mouthed

Of course, this has spoilers from spy x family's manga, I warned you. Now, let's go onto it!

This analysis continues here and here

Everything starts with Anya asking Yor to buy her "crunchy tea cakes" and then remembering what Damian told her about a cake. Anya seems to think only about pastries last chapters and honestly? Can't blame her lol

Seems like Anya's perception about Damian seems to be the same as usual, because in previous POV flashbacks she always imagine him with the most clown-ish face and an OOC personality. Not Bond having trauma related thoughts after he ate Yor's homemade cookies here 😭😂

While she goes on her way to buy sweets it occurs that habit of hers of thinking that the insignificant, harmless thing is related to killing and/or getting arrested by the SSS, just because she doesn't know where to find the crunchiest tea cakes.

Poor woman doesn't get herself any time to relax and stop overthinking everything, tbh very relatable. I would say it's her signature mood but seems that all the Forgers do it, only that with each one the consequences are different (Yor thinking they'll hand her to the SSS or just thinking everything is related to killing/death, Anya thinking she'll go to the orphanage again and Loid... Loid thinks of almost every type of consequences really, the major one that Operation Strix fails tho)

This panel is obvious foreshadowing, it was seeing it and I thought "So this is where it is going..."

Yor still has doubts about what it's normal, aka accepted by society about who you are or what you have to do in your everyday life to be considered so.

It's sad this is actually something that many people suffers this insecurity irl, the main problem that Yor has is that she hasn't realized yet that there is no universal truth as a "normal" way to act upon or live like and normal is just what a bunch of people from a certain place think it's like. Moreover, it's just a really reaally subjective concept that it's wrongly used to describe what's usual and/or morally acceptable in the eyes of those who use this term. Note to say, these three words are not the same, but they're usually switched with one another.

Hope she'll someday reach that conclusion and just behave as she pleases while she doesn't do anything illegal like letting Anya drive with her age

Heading to the pastry shop, she saves a woman who I knew she will later interact more with. Gotta say, if Yor hasn't gone to the rescue not only those things inside the boxes would have been spoiled/broken, but Melinda could have died or get severely injured falling from the stairs is serious business fr

Also, it will sound silly but when I saw Melinda's face here it reminded me of Sylvia since both have triangular/"teardrop" eye shape. Yor looking cute as usual

Melinda invites Yor to join her and her friends from the lady patriots society to an all-mothers volleyball game,and with this we can the three human members of the Forgers have played at least once in a sports "tournament". Actually 4 counting Yor VS Fiona tennis match, but that was just a "friendly" game. Bond, you're next

Gotta say she looks great on the volleyball uniform, but it called my attention how she blushes and gets all flustered when she realizes she's wearing shorts. Looking back on time she has always been shown wearing dresses, skirts and in one of the "extra: Yor fashion week" outfits a pair of trousers, all of them being at least covering up around the knees.

Is it because of the mentality of that time about not showing too much [leg in this case] or is she just easy to get embarrassed? It might be both idk, it just surprised me her reaction as I didn't think she would be the type to get scandalous about not covering too much, although seeing how easy she got embarrassed with Yuri's speech and Loid's attempt of seduction I should have seen it coming. I wonder how she'd react to someone who wears often like that, but knowing how kind she is she probably wouldn't treat them different from others, only getting embarrassed when she wears something like that. Or I'm just overthinking and it doesn't go that far her reaction and I shouldn't have needed two whole damm paragraphs for this lmao

Getting back at the chapter, seems that despite her strength and overall non-human physical abilities her team lost towards the Northside team, goddammit!

Tbh it was predictable with how many times Yor must have breaken rules, I mean it's remarked twice so

But hey! They had fun, that's all matters!

After the battle Yor opens up a bit with the mommies and confess that she doesn't know what to do neither as mother and wife, which the group relates to and reassures her that not knowing what to do is normal, a light-hearted moment and something that many people should hear (specially those in their 20s when you are turning adult-ish and think that you should have figured out your entire life by then, a big mistake we make, a harmful thought that we as society reinforce and a big struggle that I can relate myself)

With the warm moment comes the unexpected plot twist. I was too emerged on the Yor getting friends scheme to see it coming until they brought up the kids topic and I went from "Ooh" to "OOOOOOH" with this

Being aware that she's a Desmond, I have to say:

1. After reading it I saw many reactions and users talking about this chapter and some were surprised that Mrs Desmond were such a seemingly kind person. Which? Honestly?? I thought it was going to be the case so it didn't surprise me.

I mean, in this post I talked about my theories regarding Mrs Desmond, mostly her marriage and her role in the family, and although I didn't said that she was going to be a saint I speculate she could be the cheerful, loving member that the Desmond's household so much needs.

With this I believed that in order to balance her husband's cold and reclusive behavior she could be the opposite: a woman who in public surrounds herself of people and is or seems to be friendly with everyone, perhaps sharing personality traits with Damian and not only her looks (which now seems possible).

Being nice towards strangers or your friends doesn't define a person as a good parent, good person ≠ good mother, so we'll have to wait until we see more of her and her sons and pray that Damian has at least one good and loving figure in his life.

2. The Illuminati-like symbol in both her earrings and ring makes me believe she may be related with a third party. We know WISE and SSS, and that symbol doesn't belong to any of them, so it may be an organization led or supported by the Desmonds?

SSS technically isn't a spy organization, more like a state service, and I always wonder if there's a East counterpart of the western spy agency, maybe this is the hint of a East WISE's existence? It would be so fun if I got the idea of Melinda being a spy or some sort of physical/strategical trained person right.

3. Talking about symbols and organizations, if you reread the chapter or this post it's said that Melinda is a member of the lady patriots society. Given that patriotism is often how conservative/right wing parties describe themselves I think this could have also been a foreshadowing of Melinda being Mrs Desmond, since Donovan is the leader of the National Unity Party (which seems to be leaning to right wing); also a nice detail that let's you wonder what do the moms do or talk about apart from playing sports and making tea parties. Would be their political ideology as extremist as Donovan's seems to be?

4. When the fuck are we going to meet Demetrius. Seriously, everyone or at least those who remember he exists are waiting to confirm if he got Melinda's looks or if he's going to be the second sleep paralysis demon of this fandom alongside his Frankenstein progenitor. To think I believed he would make his appearance before his mother 🤡🤡🤡

5. Calling Melinda already as Yor's friend and stating how Yor has achieved the goal Anya and Loid searched isn't quite right. Don't get me wrong, I want Yor to make friends (because her coworkers are kinda bitches and as much as Camilla taught her how to make a stew in one occasion doesn't redeem how disrespectful and mean she has been with Yor); Twilight has Frankie, Anya has Becky, it's about time Yor has friends on her own. The fact that she has been able to meet with a Desmond is half of the goal already achieved, true.

But that just hasn't completely happened yet: Melinda and Yor just met, Yor was asked to join them as a way to thank her for her help and because Melinda was amazed by Yor, they are talking to each other rn. It's not finished yet, more like a ongoing first meeting.

Also, did you see what happened when Melinda remembers where she heard the name Forger before? Maybe it's just me, but those three panels focused on her face/eyes. The "dust motes" on the air. The way she leaves the cup of tea and introduces herself, going from shocked to a returned yet different smile.

There was a shift in her behavior. I know it.

As if she's with her guard up, or she's aware who she's dealing with. You cannot convince she didn't change her behavior and switched to a sudden more calm, polite attitude. Doesn't it ring a bell?

It gives similar if not the same vibes as Loid when he met Donovan, knowing he had to be careful with what he says and doesn't let the other what are his intentions. It's just, that smile, THE smile,, I have seen it too many times before and the ones who smile the calmest are usually the ones you shouldn't believe.

"Looks like she can kill you, _______" meme vibes right there. Is she the brain behind the main boss in the series rn? Is she a spy or some kind of manipulate person who disguises their true colors like one? Or not?

Moreover, in both Mr and Mrs Desmond introductions Anya wasn't there so there's no way to know what Donovan was really thinking then, and it seems we won't know Melinda's thoughts either.

This cliffhanger gives more questions than answers, what did Melinda remembered about the Forgers? Did she only think about incident between Anya and Damian, or did also Donovan told her his meeting with Loid and now she's suspicious about how two Forgers, now three, has found a way to meet her family?

That fascination Melinda had about Yor abilities who helped her while she performed maneuvers with boxes can change quickly. From a random kind stranger you have nothing to do with seems pure casualty you met, you think WOW, not much thought about it; but when it's the mother who raised a kid with such strength that they threw your kid to a wall? It's a matter of perceptions and the information you have about the other which distorts the general impression you have.

I hope this is just another of Endo's tricks where he wants to make us suspicious of Melinda and she ends up being as sweet as she was in the beginning, that Yor gets to be genuine friends with her or any of the moms there (although knowing who Melinda is affiliated with I'm not sure if Yor making friends there is a good idea), but as for now I don't trust her, I just, nope. Neither I discard all those ladies may be wonderful as friends, but let's not jump into conclusions and gets our expectations up.

All in all I can't wait to read the next chapter to find out how things will turn out with Yor and Melinda. Praying that it will work out just fine 🛐

#spy x family #sxf #chapter 65 #yor forger #anya forger #loid forger {mentioned}#damian desmond {mentioned}#spoilers #melinda desmond #bond forger #manga review

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delicateunknownphantom · 2 years

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I have been reading this manga for months but still don't know the update schedule.

Anyway spy x family chapter 65 spoilers

This made me laugh the most 😂. The store lady didn't even question the fact that Yor said "weapons". To be fair an eyeliner can be a weapon if used correctly.

These stairs are really confusing me

Our girl Yor shot that ball into space lol

I KNEW SHE LOOKED FAMILIAR. Though I thought she would be Becky's mom lol. Hopefully, she is nice Yor needs good friends.

#stairs are confusing #future mother-in-laws meet #imagine looking through a telescope and seeing a f-ing volleyball #eyeliners are now eyeball stabbing weapons #spy x family #yor forger #melinda desmond #manga spoilers #spy x family chapter 65 #volleyball #*mothers-in-law #my english teacher would be disappointed #that I made that mistake

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thefourthvulpix · 2 years

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NEW SPY X FAMILY MANGA CHAPTER

Talking about chapter 65 under the cut

Oh. My god.

Loid is going to be over the moon with happiness when Yor tells him about this recent development. (Lmao now I'm imagining him being so happy that he just kisses her, and then she faints) Honestly, after that little scare he had with Anya’s second bolt, I think Loid needs some happy news for his own mental health.

But God damn. Melinda is soooo pretty and so sweet and I'm so happy Yor finally found lady friends who she can relate to. (Because let’s be real, her coworkers are bitches)

#spy x family #spy x family manga #sxf manga spoilers #Yor Forger #sxf manga chapter 65

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alittlelavenderlady · 2 years

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pls tell me i’m not the only one who’s first thought was that anya looks like a duck with that burger in her mouth

#i love anya so much #the way becky brough her a whole ass burger 😭#this manga is too good #spy x family #anya forger #spy x family manga #manga spoilers #spy x family chapter 65

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lilover131 · 2 years

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Clear Card Chapter 65 Analysis

FA;DKLFJAD;LKFJA;FJAFAF

I have feelings about this chapter. A lot. There was a lot going on in this chapter, and I have so many questions and theories!! Without further ado, let’s dig in!!

The cover page is beautiful. I know plenty of my friends were hoping we’d get a Red Queen Akiho cover page, and I’m happy that their wish was granted! This page feels very much like half of a full picture though, so I have a feeling that Kaito is going to appear on the next cover page, being the second half of this picture.

The chapter starts off with a voice saying “Alice…tell me. What is sorrow to you?”. This appears to be the same thing Momo said to Sakura in their first official meeting. Back then, Sakura had been transported to a world where no one knew who she was, which was of course upsetting. This time, she seems to be transported to a world where all of the cards she had created are living. The first card to make an appearance is Labyrinth. Then Mirage flies above her and is absolutely massive! While climbing the steps of Labyrinth, she also spots Reflect and Snooze floating about. Gale leads her up the stares and Sakura witnesses an incredible battle going on between Blaze and Aqua (can you imagine how beautiful this would look animated?). Then, without warning, she is swallowed up by Spiral and transported somewhere else.

Meanwhile, Syaoran is navigating the treacherous terrain of this dream world. He’s surrounded by darkness all around and steps that are crumbling beneath his feet. It reminds me a lot of the scene in the Sakura card arc where he cut through Maze and Illusion to get to Sakura. However, this place seems to be much more difficult. Syaoran can hardly stay on his feet with everything crumbling beneath him, but he stays determined and isn’t giving up. He recognizes that he is within a very powerful spell and that if he lets his guard down, he could be thrown back out into the real world, and he very well can’t save Sakura if he is gets rejected. Everyone is counting on him to bring her back, so he’s not going to give up!

The scene changes back to Sakura, who is transported in a fashion that very much resembles when Momo showed her the world where no one knew who she was. It too looks like a storybook with carboard cutout props, but she is amazed that everything around her appears to be moving! The Appear card appears (lol) and tells Sakura that they are moving because she willed it to move. She is told that she is seeing the world she wished to see. It is around this time that we start to see signs that Sakura doesn’t seem to be fully aware of her situation or even perhaps who she is. She states “I thought this was Clockland. I thought the Queen was here!”, which would not make sense if Sakura knew her current situation. She was just in a play, and certainly the play would not have effects of this magnitude, so to state that she thought she was in Clockland seems to imply that right now Sakura does not recognize herself as ‘Sakura’, but rather ‘Alice’. This also leads me to think this is a dream world particularly, because I have certainly had dreams where I had no self awareness of who I was or that what was happening in my dreams was out of the ordinary. I think this is what Sakura is currently experiencing.

The clear card versions of Yamazaki, Chiharu, and Naoko appear as well (True or False and Syncronize) to tell her that the Queen is here in this world. What I find interesting about this scene is how all of the furniture is half white and half black, as if to show duality. I’m sure there is a symbolism here that will be important later, but it seems like it could potentially reference the decision Sakura will need to make. Sakura asks if the Queen is governing this world too, and she is rather ignored initially and offered tea. The cups are moving via the Action card it seems, and Naoko (True or False) says “Don’t you remember what the cat said? It’s up to you to decide. And your decisions…will create the world”. Again, we get the reference that Sakura will be making a very important decision here soon, and this decision will impact everything around here. This gives me major TWC vibes since there is a similar theme there that also included a choice that would impact the entire world.

However, she goes on to say that this world is intertwined with a “certain person’s” dreams. I find it interesting that the panel shows the Synchronize card while she says this, as if to further imply that she is currently synchronizing with someone (perhaps Akiho). It is further stated that dreams are desires, and when they call out, and when they reach the intended person, they grow stronger. Naoko finishes by stating that she will have to decide whether she desires dreams…or the truth. To me, this almost sounds as if it’s being implied that she might have to decide whether to stay here or return to the real world (Naoko did mention a while back to Sakura how frightening it would be to be in a dream and not be able to wake up), but it could also mean something else entirely. It could be that her decision is related to whether her dreams become reality or not, like the Cloaked Figure and the Dragon. I’m sure CLAMP will continue to dangle us along until we get the answers.

Sakura spots a gazebo in the distance with a huge train of fabric dangling over the edge. As she enters, she spots Tomoyo (Repair) sewing a dress for “someone dear to her”. First off, WHAT THE FUCK CLAMP?! This gazebo is the exact same gazebo as the one that Kaito sat with Lillie in and had their important conversation about finding the thing Kaito likes most. This cameo of the gazebo makes me suspicious af (insert Among Us ‘sus’ meme), because I feel that the gazebo would have more meaning to Kaito than Akiho. It was never specified whose dream in particular is intertwined with Sakura’s right now, so it gives me the strange thought of “what if this is Kaito’s dream right now and not Akiho’s?”. What if Sakura is getting closer to seeing Kaito’s desires right now and not Akiho? I think it’s a fascinating idea. It might honestly explain as well the dark and crumbling area Syaoran is navigating through, like the darkness in his heart that is eating everything away.

Repair tells Sakura that she has sewn a dress for the Red Queen, but that this dress is for the most important person in their life. Sakura asks where they are now, and Repair states that they are elsewhere, but that she knows in her heart that they’ll come back someday to wear the dress she made for them. This reminds me very much of the scene in the second CCS movie where Tomoyo says that when Sakura and Syaoran wear her outfits, they always return safely, and it’s her hope that they will return so long as they wear her outfits. I truly believe that Tomoyo in the real world would share this sentiment and is praying for Sakura’s safe return.

Suddenly, Shade appears next to the gazebo, and engulfs the whole area in shadow, but before this happens, Repair urges Sakura to never forget what matters most. This seems to further indicate that the decision Sakura will make soon will be related to the things she cares the most about (which of course are her family and friends). It will very likely be a choice with great weight, and it makes me super nervous that Sakura does not appear to be herself right now with something so important looming.

The next scene is displayed so brilliantly that it still has me in awe. Separated in panels, it shows Syaoran making his way to what appears to be Sakura and Sakura calling out to someone who appears to be Syaoran. At first glance, it seems like this is all the same scene, but they are separated purposefully into panels as we learn shortly after that they are not the same scene. In one scene, Syaoran reaches for what he believes is Sakura, and in the other scene Sakura’s hand is grabbed by what appears to be Syaoran. However, we learn in the next page that Syaoran has not grabbed Sakura’s hand but…Mirror!!! The signs were there almost immediately when he grabbed her hand and realized he was not being shocked. And let me just gush for a moment about how Syaoran had zero hesitation grabbing her hand with full expectation that he’d get hurt in the process.

Anyways, Mirror being here is bad news, because as we all know, she was recently kidnapped by Kaito, so this likely means that this is Kaito’s doing and that this was one big set up (insert “It’s a trap!” Admiral Ackbar meme). This is evident as well with Mirror’s tears as she tells Syaoran she is sorry (poor Mirror!), and in his shock, he is unable to react before consumed by shadows (this is giving me major PTSD cuz’ of my CCS nightmares).

In the separate scene with the actual Sakura, she is met with what appears to be Syaoran, but we are well aware now that this is not actually Syaoran, but an imposter, which begs the question of WHERE IS SYAORAN NOW?!!! It seems clear that Kaito does not want Syaoran to find Sakura, which means that he has a big influence on what decision she would make. This has me so concerned, but also has me questioning who the heck is now next to Sakura. There are a couple theories, but ultimately, here are the potential explanations:

1. It could be that this is Mirror also, and that the moment she had with Syaoran was necessary to take on his appearance. Perhaps she needed to touch his hand in order to take on his appearance and do what Kaito has asked of her with Sakura. After all, we don’t know for certain that the two scenes with Sakura and Syaoran separately happened at exactly the same time. What happened with Mirror and Syaoran could have occurred before Sakura was saved by the Syaoran imposter.

2. This could be Kaito disguising himself at Syaoran to manipulate the situation in his favor. The seriousness in his face in this moment is rather intense and seems as though this fake Syaoran is very determined to succeed in his mission. And who other than Kaito would have such determination (other than Syaoran himself, but obviously this isn’t him. Haha)? It would also be fitting as Kaito is Akiho’s black cat and connected to Syaoran in so many ways.

3. The third option is this could be someone else entirely that we haven’t considered, but I can’t possibly imagine who it would be and what their motives would be. I could imagine maybe Momo getting involved in this way, but that wouldn’t explain Mirror’s role, as Mirror is under Kaito’s control and Momo seemingly does not want him to succeed, so if Momo were involved here, she would most likely have interrupted that rather than be part of it.

Either way, it looks grim. Sakura addressing the fake Syaoran as “Mr. Cat” further indicates that she is not ‘Sakura’ right now but rather ‘Alice’, so it’s impossible to say how she will react or what she will do. Fake Syaoran doesn’t respond to her thanks for saving her and very seriously says “Let’s go” while Shade takes them away to god knows where. I imagine they will be taken straight to the Red Queen (aka Akiho), and likely from there, Sakura will be faced with her decision.

I’m so pumped for the next chapter. I need answers for sure, and I’m certain that what is coming next I will likely hate (in the best way). I love the drama, and the next one will be amazing for sure!

#cardcaptor sakura #clear card #spoilers #chapter 65 #manga #clamp #chrissy talks a lot #analysis #sakura #syaoran #akiho #kaito #mirror #IT'S A TRAP!!

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stsgooo · 3 months

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moonlit goddess.... maybe jinshi is wondering why his dear maid continues to pull away from him... and maybe gao shun lets it slip that "they shouldn't have been close that day anyway".... and jinshi pesters him until he folds n explains.... IDK I JUST WANT A HAPPY ENDING FOR THOSE TWO :((((( (not forced ofc!! i jus love ur writing!)

Bridge the Gap.

✩࿐ summary: life and death really makes a girl wonder.

warning(s): idiots in love, chapters 61-65 manga spoilers, master/servant like relationship, description of near drowning, suggestive content, ambiguous ending. wc; 9.3k

pairing(s): jinshi/fem!reader.

a/n: tysm for reading my fics means the world to hear ppl actually enjoy them, anon!!! ;') i wasn't really going to make a 2nd part of moonlight goddess as i thought it was okay to leave off there, but i love jinshi sooo i'll take any excuse to write him. this was initially going to be a part 2 of clumsiness, but i figured my plans worked better with what you were envisioning! im not entirely sure how to feel about this, but i hope this lives up to the standards! i apologize for any mistakes, this was written mostly in the early mornings when i had time!

part i. m.list

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"

"Y/N, please, stop asking me that."

"Oh, yes. My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry."

This were, admittedly, not going well. Both of you soaked, hair dripping, and standing in the cave behind a rapid waterfall, and a dull ache in your chest as you recovered. Partly your fault, partly the fault of some crazed marksman that was hiding in the forest, trying to slaughter Jinshi and, by proxy, you.

To understand how you two ended up in this situation, we would have to back up a bit.

"Oh? Y/N, I didn't know you'd be attending this as well?"

"It was a last minute switch with Suiren and I."

"You... enjoy these hunts?"

"I've done everything I could to avoid them in the years past."

Your lack of excitement was apparent and clear. It appeared to bring no ease of mind to Maomao who dragged her rather disgusted eyes from you towards Gaoshun. The older man just kept his attention on the moving scenery outside, a distant glaze over his eyes.

Maomao obviously wasn't optimistic. Just like you. You were almost proud that she had caught on so easily.

The sweltering heat outside seemed to seep into the carriage, cooking you alive in your rather formal wear. Something that you were spotted in far and few, having been years that you truly cleaned yourself prim and proper. You had been on the edge of declining even going when Jinshi, with a grin and a certain glitter in his eyes, had too happily informed you that it was a direct invitation from Shishou.

Your fate had been sealed.

Maomao peeked at you from the corner of her eye, head tilted, "Do you mind me asking why you avoided these events?"

You don't even spare her a glance, "I fear if I spoke my honest opinion, I'd stain Jinshi-sama's reputable name with my foul mouth." You reply flatly in return.

"Please don't." Gaoshun said softly from his seat, looking particularly tired.

You decided to ignore the slump of Maomao's shoulders as if disappointed by the swift interruption and decline on Gaoshun's part. Turning your eyes towards the shifting world outside.

It'd been exactly five months since Jinshi had danced under the moon and you came to the conclusion that any impure thoughts you held for your master would be safely tucked away in the back of your mind (and heart). Forever your secret. Only to be heard in your dreams and upon your death, when you repent for any ill thoughts to the Great Man above.

Everything had returned to its normal routine. You would get up in the morning, prepare breakfast alongside Suiren, eat, then proceed with any chores the woman gave you for the rest of the day, then repeat. Equally, your relationship (or lack thereof) with Jinshi had remained the same. Conversations filled with pleasantries. Simple things that had always lingered between the two of you since you were children. Pleasant and simple. As the world shall ever be.

It got a bit ruffled with Jinshi had cornered you and practically ordered that you come to the hunt instead of Suiren.

In the middle of scrubbing away at the floors, he had found you. Stood above you with that grin, “Y/N, you’re one of my most loyal servants, hm?” He’d begun with an inflection in his tone that made you horribly hesitant.

You had faltered in your scrubbing to stare up at him with confusion, “Uh…well, I suppose, Jinshi-sam’s.”

“Why don’t you join me for the Hunt this up coming week?”

Your had heart dropped. And, by the look Gaoshun had dawned, his had too. The Hunt, in your humble opinion, was a glorified weekend for the men in high positions to rub one off while killing animals. It wasn’t something you found interesting in or much grace. That’s why you had declined Suiren’s question on whether or not you’d like to take her place only three days prior. You had no interest in watching anyone, even Jinshi, size each other up while a defenseless animal bled.

“Jinshi-sama, I believe Suiren—“

Ever the gentleman, he had cut you off, “No worries, Suiren agreed to take over matters while you’re gone! She’s the sweetest, right?” He had appeared all to eager and all too himself for you to ignore.

So, with a heavy heart, you’d sighed, accepting defeat and his invitation.

Now, you would find your torture for a multiple day retreat with a bunch of men with their c—

The carriage came to an abrupt halt, bringing an unruly end to your thoughts as you all carefully exited and were greeted by the sunshine. The humid air heavy with the condensation of the area and already making a sweat appear on your brow. But, ever the lady, you pleasantly tuck your hands into your sleeves and follow behind Gaoshun and Basen.

You were a little surprised as Maomao stuck closely to your side; but not all too surprised to find her attention on your surroundings, vague surprise in her eyes. The area was as equally as beautiful as it was a burden to you.

The buildings weren't anything for you to revel at. Spending an entire lifetime within palaces and in buildings as equally or above standard to those, it just wasn't anything special. The nature surrounding the area, however, was something to stare in awe at. Lucious trees, beautiful grass, and beautiful array of plants and flowers. It almost made you regret all the time you had spent away from this place.

But it wasn't like you had the chance to truly return since the last time you were here. Nothing could bring back that little girl.

You deterred your thoughts away as Gaoshun slid the door open. Immediately, you were hit with a wave of heat that you made you tense up. It was apparent that you wouldn't find your much needed cool down you were desperate to find since you were confined in the carriage days prior.

You were the last to enter and when you did, you faltered at the sight before you.

Jinshi was sprawled across the couch, wisps of his dark hair framed his sweat glistened face, eyes closed in contempt. A small dent appeared between his eyebrows and a frown adorned his face. However, your attention was caught on a drop of sweat that made its way from his hairline, down his cheek, his jaw, his long slender neck, and past his— his collar.

His modesty was of no worry, apparently, as he laid with his robes parted open to reveal his chest. Itself was glistening with sweat. Delicate skin on showcase for all to see. It brought a soft blush to your cheeks, as you blatantly ogled him. Pressing your lips together to contain whatever thoughts you had about him from burst from your seams.

"Y/N," Jinshi's voice hit your ears, tender and smooth. You're suddenly hyperaware that he's staring at you with raised brows, lids peeked open to stare at you.

You straighten your back and offer a bow, "Jinshi-sama. Do you require anything?" You had to get it together. It was inappropriate to behave in such a scandalous way. "Request for ice? Tea?"

Jinshi shook his head, sitting up, "No, rather I'd like for you to rest after such a long journey."

You falter, your arms wavering from their position in front of your face, "Uh.... Wouldn't the room be more tolerable with some ice?" You spare a glance around the room and grimace. The windows are shut tight, only bits of sun peeking through the cracks. Basen looks rather miserable, but trying to appear his usual stern self. While Gaoshun and Maomao seem rather okay with showcasing their small discontent with the heat. A nice cube would help at least cool down a bit.

You also couldn't stand another second seeing Jinshi like that. As if he were some type of nymph testing your faith.

"Really, it's fine—" Jinshi attempted, but you were already turning on your heel.

"I will return with ice." You didn't miss the way Jinshi's face fell and his eyes cut to Gaoshun who shook his head in return.

Your fast paced adventure led you to the main hall, where people were moving in and out. Various officers and servants filled the area, finding their rooms or helping their masters and fellow officers to their own rooms. Everyone appeared to be feeling the heat as they wiped their brows. Much like you, they appeared to be attempting to defeat the heat.

You found your way towards an attendant who helped you get something situated for Kousen. Something that brought you both distaste and irritation. Something to be addressed at a later time.

Joy filled you as you turned around, ice would soon be in the room and you could crowd around it like it was a new lover.

As you were about to make your way back to the room, you ran into someone.

You were about to apologize when they whirled around and you let out an audibly sigh that conveyed your unwavering exhaustion for them.

"Hey, watch where— Oh, hey, " Lihaku blinked, kind face twisted up in vague recognition. “You’re that lady-in-waiting. What are you doing out here?”

“I’m on loan from Jinshi-sama,” you answered rather flatly, not missing the small frown accompanying the man’s face.

You were vaguely familiar with Lihaku. What with Maomao getting involved in the problems within the inner and rear palace, you were bound to make new acquaintances when she was dragging you around. Lihaku was the first one you had ran into. On orders to accompany the girl from Suiren, you had gotten to see her investigative skills firsthand. You were impressed, surely, when she had made the discovery about the potatoes. But the impression was overshadowed by Lihaku, who had spent the entire time chatting your ear off.

He was kind, handsome, and smart when it called for it. But you could tell that, like most officers, he had an airheaded vibe to him. One that deterred you from making things too complicated with him.

Friendly enough, and one of the few people that didn't seem to disinterest Maomao, you accepted his very vague and shadowed feature in your life.

"Well, that's nice of him." He said, clearly disinterested in where this conversation was going. "I'm glad to see a friendly face, though."

You offered a small smile, "As am I. Not many kind faces around here often."

"You can say that again." You hear a loud inhuman snort and a tug on your gown, taking a large step back, you look down. A large dog with drool leaking out from the sides of its mouth stared back at you. "Oh, hey, boy, no!"

"O-Oh my." You uttered, slightly breathless as you looked at the large beast.

Lihaku glanced at you, offering a withering smile, "Eh, sorry, he gets excited around new people— not a great trait in a dog like this, you would think, but he's a real gem. Just has his moments. Hey, now—"

Lihaku pulled out something metal and brought it to his lips, then blew. It emitted little to no sound, at least, any you could truly hear, making your perk up when the dog tilted his head and sat respectfully before the officer. He blew again and the dog laid. Again, and the dog stood on all fours.

You smiled softly, watching in wonder as it obeyed whatever silent orders it was getting from Lihaku.

"He's very smart." You observed as the dog sat down again.

"Right?" Lihaku beamed, "I can get him to come running from kilometers away if need be."

"Useful when you're in a bind."

"For sure!" Lihaku's demeanor reminded you of a proud father as he puffed his chest and looked distastefully towards the cages lined up outside. "He's real smart, yet they still want to use those birds in the end."

You didn't want to point out the various problems that could come with using a dog; as there were probably another list of various pros to actually use the dog. The hawks had been used for years and you doubt that some dogs would be taking their place any time soon. It'd probably be a long time before these arrogant men came to their senses and found better means. Despite dogs being loyal and determined to their cause, the hawk would always be chosen.

Or, the better alternative, they didn't do this hunt anymore.

But you knew that was a longshot.

It wasn't long after that you bid Lihaku a farewell and good luck on his duties, making your way back to the room. You exchanged pleasant smiles and greetings with familiar faces, but nothing that kept you from relaxing much longer.

When you returned to the room, everyone had found their own areas and activities to occupy themselves. Gaoshun and Basen were playing Go near the windows, Maomao was reclining on the floor where a sliver or air was flowing through (from where, you weren't completely sure). Jinshi was back to sitting on the couch, a book in his hands. Something that was quickly disregarded as you gently closed the door behind you.

"The ice should be up soon." You informed the room with a respectful bow.

Jinshi didn't look at all interested, "What took you so long?" It sounded like contempt. Irritation if you had to really dig. Something that made you falter.

You look up and see the pout on his lips— childish, as always. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jinshi-sama. I happened to run into a friend and got caught up in conversation." You apologized softly. The last thing you wanted to do was bring him more annoyance and disturbance.

He straightened considerably, "A friend?"

You didn't like the way it was spoken. A touch of disbelief was enough for you to eye him with your own distaste. Even if you and Lihaku were nothing more than strangers with vague familiarity with one another.

"Yes, a friend." You confirmed with thin lips. Despite your inner voice telling you to reign in your attitude, you upturn your nose and decide to join Maomao— whose eyes were shooting between the both of you with trepidation and vague sympathy. "He was being kind."

Jinshi huffed, "I didn't know you had any secret friends."

"Not a secret. Just don't find any time to speak about it with you, Jinshi-sama."

That made the man falter, a darkened shadow over his face. "I suppose." He frowned heavily now, squinting at you with something unreadable. "Who is this friend of yours?"

You, finding no reason to lie, continued on, "Officer Lihaku."

In an instant, three heads snapped to you with varying degrees of emotions. Maomao looked shocked, but welcomed the information with a shrug. Gaoshun looked pale and overwrought, for whatever reason you weren't entirely sure, but you had an itching feeling it had to do with Jinshi.

The same Jinshi that was now face down on the couch, letting out a miserable sound. Speaking into the fabric of it all, unintelligiable. But you swore you heard something along the lines of— "that second rate, again?!" As he continued to rant and cry.

With that, you decided it best to not involve yourself with whatever Jinshi was battling. You wouldn't win anyway.

You'd always hated Kousen-sama.

He almost always seemed to loom in the shadows. An masked man who held no personality or words of his own. Pleasantries offered out of necessity and not because that was simply the right thing to do. He was mysterious. He hardly appeared, but he was always there. A reminder for what things would return to one odd day. A symbol for exactly where your loyalties and master lied.

Kousen-sama was to always appear before others with his mask on. To avoid them seeing the ghastly sight of scars and blemishes that adorned his skin because of his sickness (whatever that may be) and spare him the indecency of stares. He was unmoving. Stone amongst he lively environment that ate away at their lunches and softly conversed with one another.

Prince. The respectable Kousen-sama. The great son of the empire. The brave prince against all odds.

Oh, how much you hate Kousen-sama.

But you still had woken up early to help him pin his hair back. To slip his robes on. To delicately place the mask on, fingering the bangs out through the slits to allow some type of familiarity. You were his confidant. His reliable and kind servant.

As always, you and Basen stood behind Kousen-sama with your backs straight and eyes ahead. A pleasant servant on loan and stern guard, you both were familiar faces against the unrecognizable figure in front of you. It reminded the people exactly who was before them. Exactly who had decided to grace their presence.

Still, it brought you discomfort.

You still eyed Gaoshun in the corner of you eye. The older man sat at the other end of the table. Maomao standing behind him with a distant look in her eyes, obviously not paying attention to the things happening around her. Not entirely surprising, but you felt the overwhelming urge to scold her for her lack in etiquette.

Oh, you're starting to think like Suiren, aren't you?

Suddenly, Basen is tensing up beside you and Kousen-sama is turning his head away from a scowling Shishou. Your eyes snap between the two with a scowl of your own. Whatever that man had said—

Kousen-sama's hand clenches. So tightly that his knuckles turn white and he shakes. You know something isn't right. You had missed something. Something so obvious and you were too concerned about Gaoshun.

The man stands from his chair, the legs loudly clattering against the tiled and stone floor. You watch uneasily as Kousen-sama raises, takes a moment to collect himself, then practically speeds away from the room. You don't waste a moment to bring your sleeve covered hands to your mouth and make your own exit.

As you pass a concerned Maomao and Gaoshun, you hear a barely uttered whisper from the girl— heat. Food.

You try to hide your confusion and worry as you follow behind your master.

It doesn't take you long to find him.

Down the path, up against a tree, the masked figure was hunched and obviously breathing heavily. You draw closer, outstretching a hand to gently press it against the large expanse of his back.

"Kousen-sama, are you quite alright?" You ask softly, hunching slightly to capture a glimpse of his eyes from that slit in the fabric.

When you do, you're almost breathless. His violet eyes are alight with something distant and scornful. Eyebrows furrowed as he meets your own gaze.

"Y/N...?" He sounded vaguely surprised under it all, breathless himself. As if he couldn't quite believe that you were here in front of him.

You nod once, reaching out and grabbing ahold of one of the ties keeping the mask all together. "I'm going to remove this. No one is around."

His hand is suddenly wrapped around your wrist. Not tight or unrelenting, but enough to make you freeze. Warm and clammy skin against your own to make you feel scorched. You don't need to see his entire face to know that his jaw was clenched now.

"I can't," he said in all his self-assuredness, "Someone might still come."

What a pain. You thought to yourself as you draw in a heavy breath.

You don't waste a second to slip under his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders and allowing him to lean most of his weight against you. "No worries, sir, I'll just find us some place where no one else is around."

You gently guide Kousen-sama from the line of trees and deep within it. Finding an oddly familiar path created within your mind to follow that takes you towards an overflowing waterfall. A loud crash of water hitting the rocks and body of water below that brought you a distant sense of comfort. The refreshing smell of the water hits your nostrils and you take a deep breath.

With Kousen-sama against you, you felt the sweltering heat hit you tenfold. But the mist from the waterfall brushed against your skin like a gently caress from an old lover.

This is it.

You stumble over to one of the few trees next to the waterfall and gently guide Kousen-sama to sit up against it. The man took a heavy breath and you finally felt a little at ease. Reaching forward, you moved to take the cloth off once again and then—

A loud thud and chunks of dirt hit your cheek.

You frowned, looking to the ground only a could feet away and saw a small crater. A sharp smell filled your senses and you stiffened. It was an unkind and almost putrid scent. The smoke from the small crater was the main cause.

"Eh—?"

You were suddenly cut off as Kousen-sama wrapped his arms around you, jerking you upwards and away from the tree. You would've basked in the way his body was pressed against your back or the way his fingers seemed to mold into your abdomen— you would've if it weren't for the loud crack in the air then the pieces of bark that flew through the air around you.

The tree that he had been pressed up against only moments ago was now split open with a piece of metal imbedded into the wood. It looked eerily similar to the same that had been in the ground moments ago.

"Is that a feifa?!" His voice pierced through your thoughts, oddly frantic and uneasy as he moved quickly from the tree and towards the river.

You glanced up at him and found him already staring down at you. Eyes narrowed and, if it weren't for the mask, his entire face would be scrunched up in that familiar distaste and panic. Yet he seemed eerily calm as he dragged you through the trees and into the water.

"Sorry, but this is gonna get a bit dramatic." His voice was soft against your head, warm breath caressing your hair as he wraps a protective arm around your head.

Your eyebrows raise, "Dramatic— WHAT?" You should've known his tone and choice of his words were a warning for what was to come, but you were still caught off guard.

He gave no indication that he was going to jump off the cliff.

"Jinshi, you goddamn idiot!"

You mustn't get ideas above your station.

The water was oddly clear. Even with the mix of the overflowing waterfall, under it all was peaceful and calm. Fishes and water like insects lived in harmony.

Cool and calm. Always.

You are there to serve your master.

The little boy's head burst from the water with a big grin, short hair flat against his head and dripping. The sun reflecting off his violet eyes and almost blinded the little girl curled up on the side shore. Her face set into a scowl, clothes drenched, and a looming unimpressed older man behind her.

"It's so nice out, why don't you come in!" Beckoned the boy from the water.

The little girl shot him a nasty look, "You know why, you jerk!"

The boy's grin faltered, tilting his head at his friend, "Eh? Why are you being mean?" His voice wavered on the ends, still just floating in the middle of the basin.

"I'm not mean! You're mean! You're the biggest meanie!" The little girl stood up to throw an accusatory finger at the boy, her sleeve heavy and uncomfortable as she moved.

The boy's face reddened, eyebrows scrunched together, "I'm not mean! You're mean!" He repeated.

"No, you are! You're the biggest meanie in the whole wide world!"

"No, you are!"

"You are! You pushed me into the water!"

"You are! You should swim!"

"I hope you drown, meanie!"

The boy's expression fell completely. A heartbroken glint in his eyes flooding them. His lips trembled. But, before he could do something like cry, he was already swimming deeper

Nothing less, nothing more.

"Now, now," a large hand rested on the little girl's shoulder and gently tugged her back, turning her around to face the man. He seemed to be trying to appear as tender as he could to try calm down the girl's high nerves. "No need to get angry."

"But, Gaoshun—" The little girl whined.

Gaoshun shook his head, patting her shoulder, "No, we don't argue. Try to forgive and forget, yeah?" He reminded the lessons that he'd attempted multiple times to teach the two children. "No reason to walk around with resentment for others, right?"

The little girl scoffed her shoe against the ground, a pout on her lips, "Do I have to, Gaoshun?" She knew what this would call for. Exactly how this would end for her.

The man heaved a sigh, nodding, "Yes, you do. Now, go reconcile. I'll wait here."

The girl faltered as the man raised to his full height, cupping his hands behind his back. She dragged her feet through the soft soil and found her way towards the boy once more. He was grasping onto the edge of the bank, sniffling and snorting. His shoulders shook and his face was stuffed into his arms.

The little girl frowned. "Um... Are you okay?"

The boy stiffened, not turning around as he answered, "No."

"I'm sorry, I said something real mean." The little girl uttered, stepping closer as she clutched her wet clothes. "I just... You pushed me into the water, I can't..."

"I thought you were my friend!" The little boy whirled around on her, face red and eyes filled with big tears. He looked enraged but incredibly disheartened. The girl blinks in return as the boy glares. "You say such mean things to me. Friends aren't supposed to be mean!"

The girl clenched her jaw, "You were mean to me first!" She accused.

The boy sniffled, wiping under his nose with his forearm. "You're my friend." He repeated as if that cleared up any anger.

Nothing more, nothing less.

The little girl slowly sat beside him, her feet dipping under the water. "It is nice." She whispered.

The little boy dragged his eyes upwards, looking hurt but hopeful. "Right?" he asked, equally as quiet.

"You're my friend too, Jinshi." The little girl nudge him with her leg.

Jinshi's eyes twinkled, wide and all too bright, "Really?"

"Really." The little girl confirmed with a toothless grin. "My friend forever and ever!"

Jinshi positively beamed, the water sloshing as he jumped happily. "Forever and ever, and ever!"

"And ever!"

"It's no longer... appropriate for you and Jinshi-sama to be friends."

"I don't... I don't understand. He's my friend."

"His mother no longer finds it appropriate for you to concern yourself with Jinshi."

"But, Gaoshun—"

"No, Y/N. It's over. Come along. Suiren has a present for you."

"He's.... He's my friend...."

"I'm so sorry."

You are to give your life to your master.

The woman paused, back pin straight, as she entered her master's office, finding him curled up in the corner, muttering nonsensically to himself. The guard of said master was watching on with a pitiful expression of his own, only breaking his eyes away when the woman entered the room. His expression only seemed to deepen.

She didn't need to ask. There was an unspoken understanding as to what their master's breakdown was regarding. The Apothecary. The one that had gotten the attention of everyone in the palace as of late. The one that had been causing her great grief as of late— and was about to create more.

"Jinshi-sama?" The woman called softly, stepping closer.

Jinshi's lifeless eyes continued to stare at the floor below him. A gentle rocking seeming to soothe himself from the rages of his mind. "I don't need anything, Y/N. Thank you, kindly." He uttered just as lifelessly.

The devoted servant's chest clenched. Her face flushed as she reached out a wavering hand. To place it delicately against his hunched back. To offer her best comforting words that she could. To distract him away from her.

Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

She faltered. This wasn't her place. This wasn't a part of her duties unless Jinshi said so. Inappropriate behavior wasn't called for. It will be punished severly.

Retracting her hand, she stands, and offers a respectful bow. "Please call me if you need anything, Jinshi-sama." And left him in his dark corner.

"Gaoshun, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, Jinshi-sama."

"You have been in my life for as long as I can remember. You remember more than I possibly could about my younger years. Whatever happened to cause me and Y/N to fall apart?"

"...."

"It had to be around the time I was eight that I noticed we were growing apart. Even now, I see it so clearly."

"It's been a long time, Jinshi-sama. You're no longer children."

"All the more reason to know, isn't it?"

"I don't know...."

"Gaoshun, nothing will come of it. I'm simply curious."

"..."

"I'm sorry to put you in this position. Please return to what you were doing."

"Jinshi-sama.... you might not like the truth..."

"I usually don't."

"Where to begin.... Before her eighth birthday—"

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"H....E—"

Everything felt so muffled. Faraway. Featherlight.

Was that a pressure against your chest? A thump that came into quick successions, then stopped. For something soft and ever so delicate to press against your lips?

Everything was distant. So far away from your grasp. From your state of being. As if you were already long gone from whatever reality you were in moments ago.

"H—"

It was almost like floating. A gentle sway and a crack.

A joyful gliding against the sky that soothed you away from worries and woes.

Thump. Thump. Lips.

Repeating endlessly. Happily. Wetly?

Thump. Thump. Lips.

You welcomed it. Whatever it was. Whatever kept the rhythm. The wonderful rhythm.

Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

......................

THUMP. THUM—

You shot up with a cough.

Your throat burned and head ached terribly. Your eyes almost felt like they were about to pop out of your head and roll away. You felt horrible.

It didn't help that you were drenched from head to toe either.

Beside you, there was a heavy and loud sigh of relief as he fell to his backside. He let a silence fall over you both as you recovered, hand pressed against your throat and heaving.

Jesus. Had you almost...

The thought alone almost made you sick.

"I'm sorry. I thought.... I didn't think you still couldn't swim." His voice was soft, barely heard over the waterfall. Kind and cautious, worried and terrified. Things that seeped from his tone as if it were bleeding out and bearing all its insides to you.

Exposing him to you.

You peeked over your loose strands of hair to glare viciously at him. "When would I have the time to learn to swim?" You shot back ruthlessly, not entirely caring from etiquette in this moment. "You've lost your mind."

"Right." Jinshi immediately agreed, almost looking fearful as he watched you.

You push yourself up and take in a deep breath, coughing slightly at the burn of your throat. Taking in your surroundings, you swore that this was that—

"Are you really alright?"

You glanced back at the man and found him still sat on the damp ground. His eyebrows are furrowed and a small frown on his lips as he stared up at you. It made you uncomfortable. To see such a glittering violet staring back at you earnestly. Honestly.

You instead clutch onto your dress, "Suiren is gonna kill me." You scoff, tugging the garments apart.

You could hear Jinshi sputter behind you. The gravel and dirt below him crunching as he probably scrambled up from his spot.

You spared a feeble look over your shoulder to find him with his eyes clenched slowed, hand covering your body from his gaze. You snap your gaze back around and tug the fabric a little too hard as you scoff.

You wouldn't deny the pang of hurt that clenched your chest.

"Don't worry, Jinshi-sama, you won't have to see my unruly body of mine for long. I just want to make sure Suiren doesn't slaughter me when we return."

"I— No, I'm just— okay." He finally muttered.

You are stripped down to your underthings, placing the dress and various pieces on the ground as delicately as you can to avoid too much dirt being stained into the fabric.

As you place the last bit of clothing down, you hear the flutter of fabric behind you.

Jinshi is a bright red, gently tossing his robe down behind him. His back is facing you and you know its for whatever mock sense of modesty he wants to give the both of you. You instinctively reach out and take his robe in your grasp, twisting it and squeezing it to watch out a fair amount of water drip out.

"You worry about mine later. Take care of your things first."

Yeah, right, You think as you twist it with an unrelenting grip. You are there to serve your master. It's one of the first things you learn. His needs came before your own. His needs were your needs.

Jinshi snatched the robe away and squeezed the fabric tight, an overflowing amount of water released from the cloth and into the ground.

Okay, so maybe he was better at it than you.

You nod, turning your attention towards your own garments and try to ignore the overwhelming feeling that you had eyes on your rear.

"So, um—" Jinshi cleared his throat when his eyes dragged away from you, cheeks a bright red. "What now?"

"Well, we could attempt at trying to swim back—"

"You can't swim."

"I was going to say that."

"Oh, sorry."

There's a soft silence between the both of you as you finish up. Gently redressing, you make your way towards the entrance of the cave, where the waterfall is blocking it from any negative eyes. You press your lips into a thin line and regard it bitterly. You remember this waterfall.... you could recall the times you whimsical pondered what it'd be like to ride down it like in those stories.

Jinshi had promised such when you both were too young and too dumb to realize how naïve dreams like that were.

You couldn't really judge that mini-you, for you had your own dreams of—

"Remember when Gaoshun first brought us here?"

You hadn't realized that Jinshi made his way over until he was standing beside you. Robes lose over his shoulders and tugging on his top layer. Violet eyes were watching the water as if it were a canvas of memories in the long distant past. Something to be admired and viewed with daisies and smiles. Not to be addressed as anything but good or amazing. Not to see the truth of it all.

You press your lips together, drawing in a heavy breath, "I remember you pushing me in the water and Gaoshun having to pull me out."

Jinshi's face screws up slightly, a faint blush on his features as he almost looks around with shame. "Right...." He straightens, "I'm sorry."

You blink, "Huh?"

Jinshi glances at you with a small smile, "I, uh, never really apologized back then. Made you apologize like you did something wrong." He explains weakly.

You raise an amused brow, "I told you I wished you would drown."

"I kinda deserved it!" Jinshi counters, his lips cracking into a grin. That charming grin he gets that makes your heart flutter. Make you hopeful for terrible and wistful. "I'm real sorry."

You smile softly, eyes kind and soft as you regard him, "I forgave you a long time, Jinshi-sama."

Jinshi's expression faltered, "Don't call me...." He trailed off awkwardly, turning his attention back to the unrelenting waterfall. You watched him for that moment. That split second where it looked like he was actually going to say something that would make you lightheaded. His jaw working and the muscle jumping as he seems to contemplate his next words.

Say anything and I'll cling to it, You think, watching his lips part, I always have. I always will.

"I'm surprised you were the one that followed me out. I thought the Apothecary might've done it."

You tense. That was certainly not what you expected him to say. Of all the things he could say? The Apothecary.

The waterfall in front of you is suddenly much too loud and violent. The cave seems to darken and your eyes drag from Jinshi to stare at your bare feet. Of course. Of course. Why wouldn't he want Maomao? Why had you even came here? Who were you to get between whatever silent signal he was trying to send to the other girl.

Him and Maomao. It was nicer than him and you. Jinshi and Y/n.

You straighten, pushing down any ill thoughts and heavy feelings into the dark pits of your chest and mind. "I apologize for the intrusion. I thought it'd make more sense for me to accompany you, Jinshi-sama."

"Why are you apologizing....?" He trailed off and then made a noise that sounded eerily similar to that of a caught man. "No, wait, I'm really glad that you're the one who came! Like really glad!"

"You don't have to spare me, Jinshi-sama. I'm a woman now, not a little girl."

"I'm not—" He visibly slumps, closing his eyes and trying to collect whatever thoughts he has and place them appropriately. He draws in a breath and faces you, looking oddly serious compared to his usual self. "I'm not trying to spare your feelings. I was just trying to say that— Well, it's not— I want you here, Y/n."

He's sparing your feelings. He's being kind. He doesn't actually want you there. You can't be friends.

You don't spare him a response. Instead, walking further into the cave. You raise your eyebrows, looking at the gaping hole above you where light and the sounds of nature filtered in. What could possibly get you both out of there...?

Whistle. Sit.

Of course. Him.

Jinshi sighs, "I spoke to Gaoshun before we—"

You place your fingers in the corner of your mouth and blow. A loud whistle bounces off the cave walls and out of the hole. You wait and hope to hear a bark or see the familiar tall man, but there's nothing.

"What are you doing?" Jinshi asks slowly, glancing between you and the hole above.

"Hello?" You cup your hands over your mouth and shout as loudly as you can. "Is anyone out there?"

Jinshi frowns, staring at you uneasily, "Y/n, please, we don't want to attract them this direction."

In the mess of almost drowning and seeing peeps of Jinshi's bare skin, you'd almost forgotten that you both had been chased down here by some violent assassin. Rather foolish, if you were honest.

You place the tips of your fingers against your lips and try to force the blush spreading across your cheeks off. "Sorry." You offer a bow of your head, despite the position you both find yourselves in.

You receive no response which causes you to peek at him. The stare that he's leveling you with doesn't bring you any type of comfort. It usually meant he was about to say something that—

"Hop on my back and see if you can reach up there."

—you wouldn't like.

Your eyebrows shot upwards and you stared at him with wide eyes. If Suiren was here and knew what he just proposed, she'd positively lose her mind. No matter how long she had known you— she'd think it improper. He was your boss and you were his lowly servant. To be in an position above him or treating him like a mat, it was...

It was simply ridiculous.

"But—"

"If you're the one below, you'll get crushed." He jabs a thumb over his shoulder. "Do it."

And that's how you ended up here. Legs wrapped around Jinshi's shoulders and heads, hand reaching out for the dirt above. You dig your fingers in and glance down at the man below you.

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"

Jinshi sighed for what seemed the hundredth time that day, his hand on your thigh squeezing gently. "Y/N, please stop asking me that."

You grimace, "My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry." You shakily raise from your place, ignoring the soft and deep grunt Jinshi gives as you stand on his shoulders.

You dig your nails into the damp dirt and begin to tug yourself up.

This is it. Finally, you could get into the open forest once again. You're not going to be suffocated by his presence. Everything will return back to its rightful places—

You froze when it smacked you in the forehead.

You tried to keep calm as you felt the slimy breathing thing rest on your skin. Body tensed up and eyes staring widely at the bright sky above.

"Y/N?" Jinshi softly called, noticing the way you tensed.

"F—Frog." You utter, jaw clenched tight and you felt it shift as you take a deep breath. "A frog."

Jinshi blinked, looking up at you with his own wide eyes, "Hey, don't-don't freak out! Just shake your head and it'll hop off."

You shake a little, but follow his instructions. However, you may have overestimated the shake as you lose your grip on the dirt and begin to fall back.

"Hey!"

The tumble down is short and not all that hurtful, like you had been expecting. You had closed your eyes in anticipation, fear of having to watch the ground quickly approach too much for your tiny heart. You expected to feel the damp mud to be seeping into your clothes and little bits of stone and bark digging into your skin. However—

Nothing.

There was nothing except the soft silk under your fingers. The scent that resembled a sweet fruit, one that you had smelt quite often in the mornings. In the noons, the evenings, the nights, repeat. You knew that smell and that familiar beat against your own chest.

Peeking your eyes open, you find that Jinshi is already staring back at you. The first thing you notice is that you both are extremely close to one another. His breath fans against your dewy face, making goosebumps raise off your skin and a shiver sent down your spin. Next is his tender expression, Eyes gentle and twinkling. His expression isn't filled with pain or anything that would indicate that he was uncomfortable with the very short distance between you both. The last thing you notice is the fact that your body is pressed against his.

Your complexion flushes and you blink down at him.

He's warm. Incredibly warm. A sharp contrast to his damp clothes, which are open and pooling under his shoulder blades, revealing his bare chest to you. Your breath is ripped from you as you stare at the plump skin. You've seen it a million times. Every day as you help him get ready for the day. It should be normal. Should be something that doesn't make you lightheaded.

But it does.

He's right there. Right against you. You can feel his heartbeat ramming against his chest and into yours. You can feel every small breath he takes—as if hanging onto this moment with, what? Trepidation? Unease? You weren't entirely sure but you knew that you felt light.

Was it so bad that you felt nice in this moment? That this warmth was wrong? Was it so out of your reach that you simply couldn't imagine a man wanting to embrace you in a way?

You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

Yes. It was.

You clenched your jaw, ignoring the tender look in Jinshi's eyes as you try to bring your mind into the present.

The frog.

It wasn't anything that you wanted to touch, but Jinshi was your master. Your discomforts and fears must be pushed away for his sake and needs.

Reaching down, you feel for any signs of the frog. It wasn't large, but it wasn't entirely small either. It wouldn't be hard to find in all it's slimy and— There it is.

Your hand brushed it and you feel almost elated to find it. Your hand cupped around the bulge from Jinshi's robes. It feels much bigger than the average frog that'd been on your forehead. It was unmoving to, except for the small twitch it gives as you rest your palm down. You gripped it.

"Hng," Jinshi grunts, his eyes close. You're a little shocked as his hips shift, his hands at your hips dig into your flesh, almost too eager. You snap your eyes upward to his suddenly sweating and flushed face. "I-I'm sorry, but... but could you move your hand? It's making things, um, rather difficult."

Difficult?

You grip onto the twitching frog below you—

"U-Uh—" Jinshi moans in a deep and guttural way that would make anyone, especially you, malfunction. It doesn't help that his hands latch onto you harder, pressing you closer and releasing a stuttering breath against your ear.

Why was he squirming so much? Why was his face so red and dripping with sweat? Why was his chest heaving and his hands flexing around your skin? And why was this thing twitching and getting bigger in your hold....

Oh.

You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

You felt a little sick at your intrusion. At the gall. You couldn't believe yourself. You had violated one of the single rules you were ever given. You violated Jinshi's space. His entire being. You were to be punished and hated— ousted from your position.

Disgusted with yourself, you slowly stand up. Jinshi's softly panting from his position on the ground, running a hand through his mused hair.

"S-Sorry, I haven't— I'm a bit—" Jinshi's obviously embarassed and uncomfortable. Look what you've done. You've ruined it all. "Hey, where are you going?"

Before you could think much more as his hands grip your hips once again and pull you down.

You're sat on his his lap and you could feel it.

"J-Jinshi-sama, I'm so-I'm so sorry!" You tucked your head down, shaking with trembling lips.

Jinshi's hands fall to your thighs, limp, "Eh...?"

"What I did was truly inappropriate and-and I will take any and all punishment!"

"Punishment...?" He sounded terribly confused, still a bit breathless. You keep your head ducked and he remains unmoved. "Why would I... you're not getting punished."

"I give my life to you. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished." You repeated softly under your breath, tucking your hands against your face to hide away from his gaze. From the judgement and hatred. "It's only just."

There's a longstanding silence between the both of you and you're hopeful that he's coming to his senses. That you'd be released and freed. That you would finally accept the gap and space between them. To fall away, finally, to the shadows.

It was tarnished the moment Jinshi wraps your hands around your own, gently prying your hands away from your face.

He doesn't look vengeful or angered. No. No, he looks kind. As he always has been. Kind and considerate. Honest and open. He'd always been so...

He'd never really been angry with you. Not without sadness being overbearing. Always so quick to forgive you. To push everything away with a smile and crinkle of his eyes.

"Y/N..." His words are as soft as his expression.

Your hands shake, "Please... Please hate me." You pleaded quietly, pressing your forehead against his hands as if he were a monk to be begged to.

"I'm not going to punish you or... or anything of the sort. Why would you want that?"

You draw in a watery breath, shoulders shaking, "It's easier to let go that way." You admitted.

"Let go of what?"

"Of my love for you."

"What?!"

His shout echoed off the cave walls. Your humiliation and embarrassment was quick to follow once it bounced back at you. Made you flinch back and try to push yourself back from his lap. Why did you say anything? Fool. Disgusting fool.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jinshi's hands wrap around your wrists and tug you forward a bit. You refuse to meet his eye. You refuse to be humiliated and demeaned— "Don't do that. Don't close off."

You clench your jaw and try to push the humilation deep within you, taking a deep calming breath as you stared at his bare collar. "You're so kind and so... you. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable or disgusted, but I need to tell you. And then I would hope that you would let me go."

Jinshi's eyebrows shot up. "Let you go?"

You've been thinking about this for some time. That it all would be better if, in the end, you were to serve someone else. That you were pawned off for some soldier instead of this slow torture. This uncomfortable, unbearable tiptoeing.

"I would like for you to offer me to a soldier or anywhere else."

The reaction is instant. The way Jinshi's complexion darkens and he stares at you with wide eyes. He slumps into the damp ground and almost turns into putty. His hold on you slackens and gives you ample opportunity to move away. But you're frozen in your spot.

"Why would I do that?" Jinshi's voice is quiet, slow, "You're... You're mine."

A blush takes over your cheeks, "Jinshi-sama, It's not appropriate! I shouldn't be like this with you."

"What if I like it?"

You blink at him. "Huh?"

Jinshi leans forward, his thumb gently skirting against your skin. "What if I have some love for you too? What if I don't care about what's appropriate or follows the rules."

I would ask who you are. You were tempted to say but your mouth was clamped shut in shock. Following the rules had been completely him. He was put in his current position now to ensure the rules in the rear palace were being followed diligently. The thought that he would love someone like you when there were people like Maomao or princesses out there. People much more deserving of his devotion. It wasn't right.

As if sensing you're not believing him, he pulls away and presses his lips thin. "Okay, I'll convince you." He straightens up and takes a breath. "I spoke to Gaoshun not too long ago. Before we came here and I know everything now."

A pause. Everything. He knew everything now? Everything is so much. Everything is... well, everything. What exactly had Gaoshun told him?

"What's everything?"

"That my mother didn't want you around anymore. That Gaoshun told you that you weren't allowed around me anymore. That you stopped being my friend and became my employee."

Your stare up at Jinshi with wide eyes. "That's not...Us being friends wasn't right anymore."

Jinshi frowned, shaking his head and his hands slide up to your arms. "If I had my way, I would've had you by my side all that time. Not as some lady-in-waiting, but as my equal."

You shake your head, ignoring the erratic beating of your heart against your chest. "Don't say that. Don't say things you don't mean, Jinshi." You beg softly.

Jinshi reaches out, wrapping his hands around your own, pressing it against his chest. "I mean it with everything in me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have ever been separated from you. Forget what my mother said." His words were sweet, tempting. They made you lightheaded. So did the sudden brightness and tender smile on his face. "That's the first time you've called me Jinshi since we were kids."

"What? I've always called you Jinshi."

"No, you've always called me Jinshi-sama."

"Oh."

You suppose you had.

"Jinshi," You utter, unsure of what else you both could say.

Jinshi's expression, if possible, softens further, leaning forward an inch. "Yes?" He whispers back just as softly.

Your eyes trail between his eyes before moving to his lips, parted and glistening, "Jinshi..."

Jinshi's hand slides up your thigh and his lips are ghosting against yours, "I'm here. I promise." He whispers before pressing your lips together delicately.

Your heart soars. Your hands shakily press against his cheeks, drawing closer as his own press your hips together. He's soft. He's tender. He's cautious and all encompassing. Filling your senses and making you lightheaded.

As you both part for a breath, he flips you onto your back. His hand grips the underside of your thigh and presses you close enough that he lets out a soft and broken sound.

His eyes are heavily lidded as he gazes down at you, lips pink. "I just want you. No one else. I promise." He utters.

You twist your hands into his hair, eyes fluttering. "You're it." You pass back.

His lips are back on yours. Wet and eager. This is sudden. Fast. But you've been waiting for so long. Had been clinging onto the smallest of things. Desperate to have this closeness that you had now. To feel his skin against yours. His breath mixing with your own. Everything him and everything you intertwined.

You just wanted to cherish this—

WOOF!

You and Jinshi both tense up, jumping. Looking over his shoulder, your eyes widen upon finding a familiar dog staring down at you both, wagging tail eager and happy to see you.

Jinshi's eyebrows furrow, "Huh...?"

There's not much warning before the dog is jumping down. Landing straight on Jinshi's back, causing the poor man to let out a pained sound. He's squishing you against the ground as the dog stands on his back, happily lapping his tongue against your cheek.

Vague disgust and disappointment wash over you, but you smile all the same. "Oh, boy!"

He barks again. A greeting you're sure.

Above, Lihaku and, surprisingly, Maomao appear. Both of them stare down at you with varying degrees of emotions. Lihaku looked excited and kinda like his dog, while Maomao.

Well, Maomao looked all too knowing.

"Well, you look rough!" Lihaku called down with a grin, "Glad to see you're not dead."

"As am I!" You huff out a laugh, then look to Maomao. "Hello, Xiaomao!"

"Hello." Maomao said flatly, she looked lower and her face screwed up distastefully. "Is Jinshi-sama okay?"

Lihaku then he spots his dog and slightly pales, letting out a sharp whistle. "C'mon, boy!"

The dog eagerly jumps off Jinshi, going to sit by your head and wag his tail. The man above you sighs in relief, pushing up off you. He sits up and you try not to focus on the bright blush on his face.

"Why did he do that?" The royal asks.

"Must've thought something was wrong." Lihaku rubs the back of his neck, frowning down at you both. "What... exactly where you two doing?"

You and Jinshi glance at one another, furious blushes flushing over you both. Despite anything that Jinshi said, there were things that you weren't allowed to do. Rules and laws that forbid something like this form happening the public eye. For a man like himself from being with a woman like you. A servant with a beautiful prince.

Protecting him was the priority.

"Nothing!" You shout back, ignoring the eyebrow raise that garnered from both Jinshi and Maomao.

Everything was better left alone. A secret between the both of you. To cherish and hold for however long it may need. You could deal with the anger and longing later.

#✩࿐ t writes #jinshi x reader #apothecary diaries #apothecary diaries x reader #jinshi #jinshi x y/n #jinshi x you #Kusuriya no Hitorigoto x reader #Kusuriya no Hitorigoto #request #anon

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rlbbackup · 2 years

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Guys, I really want Twilight's first reaction to finding out about her meeting Melinda to be that he's amazingly proud of her.

I mean, sure it'd be funny if he had one of those SHOCK faces or lose his mind, but I genuinely want him to be soft with her.

I want this face for Yor.

That is all.

#spy x family #loid forger #yor forger #agent twilight #manga spoilers #chapter 65

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citrushaven · 2 months

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[Spoilers!] Dungeon Meshi Manga Whump List: Laios Touden

Note: Death is not permanent in the dungeon, so people can be resurrected. This whump list is not spoiler-free.

Chapter 5: Scalded by hot oil (comical)

Chapter 6: (Flashback) stabbed in the chest by a sword

Chapter 11: Gets clung to by a ghost, pained look, explosion near his ear, gets clung to by a ghost again, thinks about his sister and wishes he was the one in her place instead

Chapter 16: Gets a parasite from eating water monster, stomachache

Chapter 17: Weak

Chapter 19: Gets stung by tentacles, face swollen (comical)

Chapter 24: Hit on the head by bricks (brief scene)

Chapter 25: Tripped, smashed into a wall, leg bitten off by dragon, collapse, weak,

Chapter 26: (Flashback, as a kid) Attacked by a ghost, (present) cold sweat

Chapter 29: Gets hit in the torso, passes out, carried, unconscious for half of the chapter

Chapter 30: Still unconscious, trying to go after his sister despite his weak state, stopped by multiple people, holding his torso in pain

Chapter 33: Sudden pang of pain in his torso (either hungry or in pain), falls, weak

Chapter 34: Collapse, mana sickness, crying, nose bleed

Chapter 38: Punched, fight (with human)

Chapter 40: Blasted by spell (nothing serious)

Chapter 42: Half of his face melted/aged

Chapter 43: Arm struck by icicle

Chapter 44: Face scratched

Chapter 50: Fever

Chapter 51: Hit by gargoyle

Chapter 57: Cut down by a Dullahan, disoriented, dying, bleeding from the mouth, weak

Chapter 59: Gets drained by a succubus

Chapter 63: Hands burnt

Chapter 64: Collapse, blood from the mouth, choking on blood

Chapter 65: Dead, revived

Chapter 67: Arm scratched, head hit and bleeding, back hit and bleeding, dazed, swaying

Chapter 70: Broke a rib, thrown, head hit, nose bleed, bleeding from eyes and nose, coughing blood

Chapter 71: Coughing vigorously

Chapter 76: Punched

Chapter 79: Head hit

Chapter 88: Head cut off (Winged Lion)

Chapter 91: Stabbed multiple times (as a monster)

Chapter 92: Emotional angst

#manga whump #laios touden #dungeon meshi #whumplist #whump list #it's a very interesting series #highly recommend to read the manga #the anime is on air right now too #delicious in dungeon

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mantisgodsdomain · 2 months

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On Dungeon Rabbits

(Dungeon Meshi spoilers for the manga - tread with caution!)

So, we've been working on a particular AU lately. And that AU, as it turns out, means lots of thinking about Dungeon Rabbits, as well as decapitation.

(full ramble below cut - spoilers through to Dungeon Meshi Chapter 65)

(FULL DISCLOSURE NOTICE: we are repurposing an Author's Note for this, as we won't get to post it during the General Posting in (however long it takes us to finish this ficlet), and we also are no longer sure that it'll fit in the Ao3 End Notes)

We thought about dungeon bunnies a lot for this particular universe. In their intro, it's established that they decapitate people, or at least, are capable of decapitating people - and yet, when we encounter them, they just slash people's throats. Their spurs are relatively short, even if it's clear they're ridiculously sharp, not enough to fully sever a neck, and they don't ever actually take off a head, even with relatively-small Chilchuck - what is it that would let them behead someone, exactly?

As anyone who's ever butchered a whole animal will know, beheading something is harder than you'd think - necks are TOUGH, and they sort of have to be, since they've got to stay intact for a whole lifetime. They've got a metric ton of gristle and connective tissue that's a right bitch to get through even without the spinal cord - and when decapitating fully, the spinal cord is very much a concern, since it'll get in the way of pretty much any beheading method out there. It's a right bitch to work around, and even if you didn't have to worry about accidentally getting a knife stuck in it, it's gonna be hard to cut through. So how could a rabbit decapitate someone?

The first likely point, of course, is the spurs. They have sharp things attached to their heels which are shown to cut through flesh like butter. Obviously, this would make decapitation easier - but we see them using those spurs in the manga, and they don't behead anyone, just slit throats - and the throat is far from the most challenging part to work through, when it comes to decapitation. They go for the front of the neck, not the back - which would be very inconvenient to decaputate someone with, even if you were working with a blade long enough to allow it.

As dungeon bunny spurs don't appear to struggle at all with most armor, or most clothes, for that matter, we doubt that they'd struggle much with a spine. They pierce through as though there was nothing there, for anything except Laios's bunnyplate armor - and that seems to function more on a buffer of air, so that the bunny's spurs slash the air rather than the user's neck (and then the blade is stopped by the bunny's actual leg, which doesn't have the cutting power of the spur). We feel fairly safe saying that a bunny's spur COULD decapitate someone, if it were long enough - but it isn't long enough to make it all the way through the neck, so it would need something extra to actually decapitate.

This, of course, is when we make a Connection.

Our second point: the movement on those bunnies. The dungeon bunnies, much unlike the bunnies we have IRL, seem to have some RIDICULOUS jumps. Taking Laios's height into account, we know that they can jump at LEAST 185cm into the air (roughly 6 feet if you're American) - and with some of the panels, they go even HIGHER, over Laios's head. Rabbits aren't large animals, by any means, but putting anything that high into the air takes some power - that's fucking RIDICULOUS amounts of movement! For reference, IRL rabbit can only jump around 61cm in the air, with the world record being a 99.5cm jump. This is more than twice that! That's a ridiculous amount of height!

Normal rabbits can kick hard enough to snap necks on small animals, if they're lucky, and this is more than thrice the average jump height. Dungeon bunnies would have a RIDICULOUSLY strong kick, especially exerting that strong of a force on the tiny plane of a rabbit leg. We'd bet that they have some damn strong leg muscles, as well as probably some significantly beefed-up bones - IRL rabbits can break their own legs or permanently paralyze themselves by kicking too hard, and dungeon rabbits hop all over the place without batting an eye.

That is STUPIDLY strong! That's gonna be a concussive force at the VERY least! That shit's gonna hurt! With the spur cutting the neck open, it would probably be easy for something that stupidly strong to finish the job and kick a head clean off! All it needs to do is follow that nicely-cut path of least resistance, and you've got a headless adventurer! If it were less of a bitch to actually cut a head off, we might assume that'd be enough to chop that off even without the spurs, but it's surprisingly difficult to blow parts off with blunt force alone. You need the cut to make a weak point - though honestly, we're surprised that the FIRST kick doesn't decapitate, with a kick force that strong.

With that figured out, we're surprised Chilchuck still HAS a neck, after Marcille used his body as a meat shield. We're pretty sure that they exert MORE force than a horse's kick, with that much force on that small of a surface area, and you saw how that turned out for Senshi's family. We wonder if the warning thump would scare off other monsters? With them aiming for the throat, they'll be going RIGHT for the weak point on a red dragon, so they might pose a genuine threat to some of the bigger monsters. Fucked up little beasts. Fun to think about, though.

(Special Note: We studied the Bunny chapters of the manga for this, and the spurs on dungeon bunnies actually look to have some sort of armor-phasing effect, rather than simply piercing it. With all of the party members, even when they're bleeding out through their throats, anything they might have in front of those is completely unscathed - scarves, armor, beards, and anything else in the way are entirely untouched. A Dungeon Bunny's kick appears to simply ignore everything that isn't flesh - but their legs aren't subject to the same phasing effect.

Laios's bunny-plate armor works because it puts enough air between the wearer's neck and the bunny's spur that the bunny simply can't reach past the plate, and as the spur phases rather than cutting, the armor isn't even damaged by the interaction - minus whatever dents that the sheer blunt force of the kick might put in it, of course. It's possible that the cutting force of the spur, too, is a magical effect - rather than needing for it to be physically sharp, a dungeon bunny simply needs its spur to exist, and the magic does the rest. Neat!)

#we speak #dungeon meshi #blood #gore #decapitation #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon bunnies

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tochugesya · 1 year

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my theories on kunikida’s childhood/backstory *·˚ ༘♡

kunikida is my favorite character (world shock) so i wanted to share my thoughts of it are taken from aspects i have annotated about him/he has said. these are theories!!! nothing confirmed. pd: i have taken some info from doppo kunikida’s irl life, asagiri has taken a lot of details of his life so i doubt he won’t now. please enjoy! :) i also apologize for any misspellings, english is not my first language.

1) kunikida & his family:

kunikida is one of the few characters that have confirmed families (as said in the mini novel kunikida & katai’s magnificent days), so the possibility of being an orphan is eliminated. it’s not mentioned if he has parents or not but he has a family. here are my options/theories abt his family

his dad/his mom (or both) work for the military/government. usually the “stick” personality is associated with having a military family, kunikida’s character trope (istj, moralist) fits in the “military family” stereotype and considering bsd has a lot of topics around the military (like the current arc), it’s a high possibility. this also explains kunikida’s hate of authorities (we will get into this later), and even if they’re not from the military they’re probably people with high prestige/on the traditional side (ex: the zenin’s in jjk).

on the opposite side, kunikida’s family are anti govt (anarchism). again this is mostly related to his authority hate. this also can be linked to the azure king (if you want me to elaborate please let me know!)

these are my main ideas. important to note that irl’s stepdad worked for the ministry of justice and was an ex samurai (which could connect him to one of the fukus). other small things i have noted:

kunikida cares a lot about reputation. maybe this need for the ada’s reputation to stay intact is a reflection of his family.

kunikida used to pass a lot of time with katai (more than with his own family) so they are probably busy people/weren't really present in his life

kunikida has a “motherly” behavior yet he has a strong personality that is usually linked with a strong patriarchal figure. i personally link this to the fact that kunikida’s household could have been more matriarchal. with this, kunikida could have conflicts with his mother possibly related to his idealism.

kunikida is the youngest child. don’t debate me on this.

kunikida’s family dedicates to save people’s lifes/bring justice to them. so he followed their footsteps in his own way.

2. kunikida’s young years

2.1) his possible relation to the great war:

(spoilers for bungo stray dogs manga chapters 65 and 66)

when you think about kunikida's potential childhood, most people assume he had the most "normal" childhood out of all of the ada members. however, kunikida could have (sadly) been involved similarly to how yosano was or in other ways. this section will be divided in two sections: kunikida doppo's irl relation to the sino japanese war (with a connection to irl mori) and kunikida and the usefulness of his ability in the war context.

kunikida doppo and the sino japanese war: for a little bit of context, the first sino japanese war (1894-1895) was a conflict between the japanese empire and china because both countries were looking for being the dominant influence in korea. in this time, multiple authors that were bsdfied participated as war correspondants with the exception of (surprise surprise) ogai mori, who enlisted in the japanese army as an army doctor.

kunikida doppo worked as a war correspondant along with his friend katai tayama in the sino-japanese war. there is no information about where kunikida worked in, but katai worked in taiwan in the same division as mori; this war correspondency was vital for kunikida's career, he got extremely popular due to his war journalism). both kunikida's (doppo and his brother shuuji) were disciples of soho tokutomi, a japanese historian and journalist; it was under him where he became a war correspondant, learnt german (similar to mori) and worked in the newspaper "Kokumin no Tomo" founded by soho, and where mori published "the dancing girl".

kunikida had a involvement in the russo-japanese war, but it's insignificant compared to his work in the sino japanese war. i put this in the post because, as mentioned, asagiri puts details from the irl's life in the story; this is not the reason why i believe he was in the great war, but it makes a little bit more possible.

as i keep rereading this arc, i noticed something yosano said that caught my attention:

doesn't this sound a little similar to mr. idealist "no one will die in front of me"? because it does to me. even if they don't mean the exact same thing, the general idea is the following: keeping people alive.

yosano truly values human life

kunikida's ability and his usefulness in the war:

here's why i believe kunikida may have been involved in the great war; his ability. kunikida's ability "doppo poet" consists of being able to create anything that comes from the notebook. kunikida's ability, even if doesn't look like a threat at first glance, it's a tricky one; if he wanted, he could use a bigger notebook he could summon bigger weapons (such a b0mbs, bigger guns) but he stays with a smaller notebook (which yes it's practical, but why would he use grenades when he could summon better weapons?)

kunikida, with a never ending pile of paper, could summon multiple useful weapons almost at the same time; for the great war, having someone that could create weapons in an instant is convenient. it's also important to remember that ability users' were searched at that time (+ mori's plan, that is explained in chapter 65 or 66).

but besides his ability, and with the past section focused on yosano's trauma and response due to going to the great war, it's not difficult to assume he could have been in a similar situation. kunikida's constant creation of weapons that killed people, that he didn't not want to do because he was a child, in front of him, with no way to stop it because he was forced to create those weapons and because he was a child... he couldn't save them all, kunikida's own experience as a child soldier/weapon during the great war, in this context, is why he's so attached to them, because he sees his little self in them, and in general, it may be possibly the main reason of ideals' being born, so “no one will die in front of me” is kunikida’s reaction to the cruelness of war, just like yosano’s (panel attached below) plus, kunikida's reaction to death is very emotional and raw, which is something that is not seen a lot in bsd (and it's one of his most important characteristics), and has been a theme around for a looong time now.

i wish i'm wrong in this one (please)

2.2) kunikida the rebel

as the name says (lol) kunikida could have been a rebel in high school as well. kunikida does not care about breaking laws (except the ones where he acts like a normal citizen). this could be the aftermath of years of trauma; it's not linked to why he is the way he is but is... more of a way to show he's not that much of a "stick"

ps: between all this mess, he met katai. i don't have a theory abt their meeting but i know those two find each other in the moment they needed it the most. :) following the war timeline, i think katai's family were also involved and they met when it finished and... trauma bonded (to put in blantly).

3. kunikida and the past (why does he not want to talk abt it?)

i want to dive into the most interesting part of kunikida's conversation abt his backstory. he does not want to talk about it.

there are multiple reasons this could be such as shame and trauma; i don't have an elaborate reason why (there could be MULTIPLE) but here are the ones i feel that are the most likely:

as i said before, kunikida could have been from a family of politicians and military members. as he's an idealist, and the topic of politicians and corruption could fit perfectly, he would want to disassociate himself from them.

> this doesn't have to be only abt having govt affiliated family btw. but just the idea that he doesn't want to associate himself with his family because they don't have the same ideals.

he got disowned. not much to mention here

trauma. again not a lot to say here.

rocky relationship with his family. or maybe they are just shitty people and doesn't want to be with them anymore.

othe stuff i have thought about is that kunikida is a liar. not exactly something possible considering ranpo should know by now but it’s still… there. it’s possible.

that's it! i hope you enjoyed. sorry if it's too long i love kunikida. :)♡ let me know what you think as well!

#kunikida doppo #bsd kunikida #bungo stray dogs #kunikida thoughts all day #kunikida headcanons #kunikida my beloved #💭theories

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pokeyoupine22 · 4 months

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*minor spoilers*

So I was like curious about how many chapters were animated this season, so that I can estimate approximately how many chapters will be animated in s3. So basically s2 had 72 chapters animated (65 - 138) so assuming 72 chapters will be animated for s3..the last ep of jjk s3 would be chapter 210..and just for reference..it's this chapter..

Manga besties know what's up after this ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

Although the *thing* happens in chapter 212..maybe in the anime they might end with that cliff hanger..

#ahhh cant wait to bawl ny eyes out again in s3 #megumi fushiguro #gege when i catch you gege #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk 212 #jjk spoilers

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emilover-1 · 2 months

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Mori isn't a pedo

TW: anime and manga spoilers, mentions of pedophilia, beast spoilers, light novel spoilers, official guidebooks spoilers

WARNING: my purpose isn’t to defend/justify/excuse/support pedophiles or lolicons, i have friends who have been victims of pedophilia and trust me the last thing i would do would be to defend/justify/support/excuse pedophiles and or lolicons.

CHARACTER SHEET

Basically, in his character information sheet, it says that he likes young girls, in JP it would have been young misses (幼女) but anyways, it doesn’t necessarily means something romantic, just like in the guidebook it can be platonic, after all theory, sweet red beans also appear on his likes, which- is a like in general but I believe firmly that it isn’t a romantic like, since Mori actually likes taking care of kids since in beast he literally runs an orphanage, so it makes me believe that it is a platonic type of like.

GUIDEBOOK

A lot of people didn’t understand this BUT, when he said about his favorite type is little girls below 12, doesn’t necessarily mean a romantic attraction, it’s a favorite type in GENERAL, we know that Mori likes taking care of children (beast) so it could be a favorite type as in platonic, and honestly, I believe it could be a reference to the irl author.

ELISE

Elise isn’t meant to represent Mori’s sexual desires despite the name, Elise is meant to represent his regrets, needs, and wants, nothing sexual here despite the name of the ability, I won’t talk a lot about the regrets because I already have.

In beast, Elise was a 20-year-old, but why? Because Mori didn’t need her as a child anymore, he already was running an orphanage so what he needed more was a helper, someone who could help him to take care of those kids, having another kid instead of a caretaker who could help him wouldn’t work for him.

A lot of people consider Elise a “victim” when she is an ability, she can’t really feel, she does whatever Mori wants her to, same with how she acts, she could be straight up a doll for him.

OMAKE

Omake 12, Mori says that Elise is his wife, however is that really what it should have said?

Bsd has a LOT of mistranslations, for example with Yosano in the Spanish version it isn’t specified who dragged her into the war, yet the English version says that Mori was the one who dragged her into the war.

In the JP version, it doesn’t say so, in the JP he says tsuma (妻), and while yes, if you put tsuma on the traductor it says wife, is the traductor really reliable? It isn’t. Tsuma goes from “side” and “edge”, indicating someone who is at the side of someone else, tsuma has historically been used for someone/something by the side, it depends on the context of the situation but honestly for this context I believe it makes sense to use the historical version. Mori could have perfectly used Okusan (奥さん) that directly mean wife, again I believe it’s a clear reference to the irl author who give things to interpretation a lot of times.

CONVERSATION WITH KOUYOU

This again, is used a lot for “proving” that Mori is a pedo, but again, this is another of the mistranslations, in the chapter 37 in the EN version he says “I’m touched, but the only girls I protect are aged twelve and under I’m afraid” yet in the ESP version it says “I’m very happy to hear that, but I’m only interested in those under twenty, you know?” In the anime if you put the JP audio and English subtitles it says “I’m grateful, but I deal only with those under twelve” however if you put the English audio it says “I’m quite grateful for that, but I prefer the woman in my life to be under twelve” which- absolutely sounds weird however the JP version and the JP version, from what I understand says “I’m happy but my defense range is under 12 years old” So, the prove that a lot of people use are straight up mistranslation because on every language it is different and it even variates from the manga to the anime.

CHAPTER 65

Basically, in this chapter a lot of people think that Mori was a creep towards Yosano because he liked her, and I honestly agree he was creepy, but not because of that, let’s start talking about some panels. I want to talk about this one a bit "先週まで和菓子屋の店番だった妾をアンタが無理やり徴用したんだろ" it’s translated very weirdly since it basically says on the translator as "You must have forcibly conscripted the mistress who was the keeper of the Japanese sweets shop until last week." but knowing the context I translate it to "You forcibly drag me, I was the keeper of the Japanese sweets shop until last week" however the translations are very weird, and even more because the kanji “妾” means concubine or mistress, but anyways, let’s go to the next panel.

The anime did a very bad job with this panel too, in this panel Mori says, “Such a strong will….” While having tears in his eyes and apparently, a nosebleed, however rather than being a nosebleed because of Yosano per se, its because of the strong will she has, the confidence she has. Mori represses his feelings due to being the pm boss and going always by the logical solution, in a lot of times he has been shown with regret on his face, an example being the fight with Fukuzawa, so I believe that the nosebleed is because of admiration while the tears are because of him deep down wanting to have that will. Also, his expression changed when looking at her before having the tears and nosebleed.

Next panel, basically a lot of people think that mori has an attraction towards Yosano because of this panel, in this panel he says “よ·さ·のくん私の与謝野君がお気に召したかね?” which means “Did you like my Yosano-kun?” which- does sound creepy, and I won’t defend that, but rather; I will explain. Mori wasn’t the only one who acted that way towards Yosano, other soldiers did too, but why would they? Because she was useful, with the soldiers I think that it was rather admiration for such an ability but that doesn’t change that the way they acted is weird. Mori not only admired Yosano due to her strong will, but because of her ability too. She was useful to war, and therefore she should not be attached because they could not only end up having hatred towards her which would cause her mental health to be worse, and or those soldiers could get killed and it would also affect her mental health. Sure, Mori did abuse her however it was never his direct choice to, sure shooting someone in front of her and forcing her to heal them did affect a lot on her mental health, but we also have to understand that going by Mori’s logic it would be better if she was willing to heal them without the necessity of them being at the border of death (it is shown that she COULD heal minor things).

DEAD APPLE AND LOLITA COMPLEX

This topic is very connected to the next one, so let’s start. In the Dead Apple intro, Mori is shown as someone with a Lolita Complex (ロリータ) and also in the Omake 12, let’s see what Lolita Complex mean; The term Lolita originates from the book Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, we are not going to talk too much about this right now since it will be talked ahead. The English term refers to a man who finds young girls, mostly fictional sexually attractive, yet the Japanese one is different, it comes from positive idealization and romanticization of girl’s culture. I would also say that even though Asagiri said that Dead Apple is canon, I wouldn’t consider EVERYTHING from Dead Apple as canon due that Asagiri didn’t write it.

LOLITA AND LOLICON

To give context, Lolita comes from the book by Vladimir Nabokov, it touches topics about pedophilia, the protagonist being the pedophile towards his stepdaughter that has 12 years in the book and 15 in the movie, the term “Lolita” is used a lot for little girls or teenagers in porn. In Japan, the term Lolicon comes from the book Lolita, Lolicon refers to obsession, liking or attraction towards little girls coming from fiction. Which brings us to question; Can Mori be considered a Lolicon? The answer would actually be no, I used to think that Mori was a Lolicon, but analyzing it he wouldn’t be considered as such. Does he show attraction to Elise? No, taking in account that he isn’t attracted to little girls, and that he didn’t call Elise his “wife” where does the thought of mori being attracted to Elise? It comes mostly from the dark era in the anime version where he is dressing Elise, and honestly the anime did a bad job at this scene. In the light novel, he wasn’t just dressing Elise, in difference he was scolding her for throwing the dresses while running naked, but even if we go with the anime version, there wouldn’t be anything rare since he isn’t blushing or anything else.

CONVERSATION WITH FUKUZAWA

Omake 12

A lot of people, yet again misunderstand some of his conversations with Fukuzawa and use it as “proof” to say that Mori is a pedo, yet misunderstanding is again big. Firstly, the Omake. I believe that Fukuzawa either answered like that because of a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding because; Mori says that Elise is his tsuma, and since it technically does mean wife, Mori saying “Ah, that’s the response that hurts the most!” could mean that he either said it before or he said that on purpose even though it could be misunderstood. I can understand Fukuzawa’s reaction as a misunderstanding, and the next panel makes me think that even more, Fukuzawa says that he will report Mori, yet he didn’t, which makes me think that Mori told him that Elise was his ability afterwards

Chapter 30

In the chapter 30, during Fukuzawa and Mori’s fight, Fukuzawa says “相変わらずの幼女趣味か?” towards Mori, and yet again the mistranslation is very big. The word “趣味” usually means hobby, interest, fondness and even sometimes affection, which is very different to say that it is a fetish, in some translations it even says lust which not necessarily means something sexual but most of the times it is used for sexual things, so I do not understand them using those words.

ABILITY

First, to start about the ability part, we have to state what it has been said in the anime, manga, and even light novels; Abilities are tied to the soul of the user, it reflects the pure form of the user, but what does this has to do with anything? A lot of people use as an argument of mori being a pedo his ability; Elise being a child and the ability name being Vita Sexualis, which honestly at this point I’m not surprised, but as I’ve said before; The book isn’t an erotica despite it being cataloged as such, the book is about the sexual encounters of the protagonist named Shizuka Kanai which is like a autobiography by the author. He quote on quote suspected that unlike the rest of the human race, he might be indifferent to such sexual desires, so why is it named Vita Sexualis? Again, it is about Life and Sex, yet a erotica has to awaken sexual feelings, but the book HARDLY does that, so I do not think it can be considered as an erotica, it surprises me how so many people assume that just by the name.

Thank you for reading my analysis! The first two topics are inspired by some post of plinko mori, and the lolita complex is inspired by this doc!

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