#mc13 writes

[musical-chick-13]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Doctor Who, Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Twelfth Doctor/River Song Characters: River Song, Twelfth Doctor, Amy Pond (mentioned), Rory Williams (mentioned) Additional Tags: Christmas, Grief/Mourning, Gift Giving, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

She adored this, once. But seeing mothers and fathers play in the snow with their children, walking into a restaurant filled-to-the-brim with families who look so content and so completely at peace...it just reminds her of all of the Christmases she used to spend with her parents.

The kind of Christmases she’ll never get to have again.

#merry (late) christmas! have a fic about my favorite married couple :) #trying this thing where I write a story and DON'T edit obsessively #doctor x river #twelve x river #twelfth doctor #river song #doctor who #doctorriver #otp: you are always here to me #this...isn't the Broader WIP. but I had an Idea™. and then I had to get it out of my brain lol #would you believe tumblr user musical-chick-13 is writing about grief AGAIN #mc13 writes #behold! a creation!

[equusgirl-writes]

WIP Tag Meme

I was tagged by the lovely @musical-chick-13 (thank you!)

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many  people as you have wips. I have deemed that this isn’t just for writing, either. Sketch titles? Comics? Dnd campaigns? If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!

I’m going to follow MC13 ‘s lead and only list my new WIPs since doing this last. It’s much more manageable that way.

Spider Goddess WIP

Gothic mystery

Fruits of Poison

The Memories We Leave Behind

Dark fantasy short

Ropes and kinks

Going to tag @laufire-writes @aninkwellofnectar @chishiio @malandanti @moonscribbler and an open tag for anyone that would like to do the thing :)

#tag meme

[musical-chick-13]

Regrettably. I think the answer to "how do I personally finish a wip" is "bounce around between my various wips" because this seems to be the only way any writing on anything is actually happening.

#perhaps I need to. cleanse my brain. of the same story. #get new blood (metaphorically) in there #maybe then I will have more Epiphanies™ that will actually allow me to COMPLETE A PROJECT. #CAN ANYONE HEAR ME I'M SCREAMING FOR HELP #mc13 writes #like I literally wrote for an hour and a half without stopping AND without doing compulsions #that is UNREAL

[musical-chick-13]

SCREAM HI I MISSED THAT YOU REBLOGGED THE 3 SENTENCE FIC PROMPT AND AM HERE TO PLAGUE YOU. Mello/Near and hmmm HMMMMM hm. airport. <- really vague but i shall leave the details to you,

(okay I cheated, this is 5 sentences I'm sorry)

Amid the overlapping murmurs of conversation, the nondescript jazz music seeping through the airport speakers-almost aggressive in its blandness-and the lightly cacophonous squeals of a few particularly fussy children, Near almost doesn't register the uttered "Here" that's meant to alert him of the plastic bottle currently being lobbed at his chest.

"Thought you might want some water," Mello clarifies--and while Near can appreciate the simple gesture of goodwill (more than appreciate, actually, but he thinks it might be dangerous to dwell too much on the ideas of "Mello" and "unprompted goodwill toward Near" simultaneously in public), they do ostensibly have a budget for this trip.

"Why did you pay five dollars for this; I could have just waited until they served drinks on the plane."

"Who says I paid for it?" and Near should chastise him for that, should remind him that such risky and flagrantly disobedient behavior, while at times necessary for solving a case, is hardly appropriate for something as trivial as an overpriced bottle of water-but Mello has a half-cocked smile on his face that complements the suggestive tilt of his head, and his eyes somehow catch the sterile overhead lighting in a way that makes them look like they're sparkling, and Near...well, Near can't really find it in himself to reprimand him.

He opts for the only other logical course of action and kisses him instead.

send me a ship + a concept, and I'll write a 3-5 sentence microfic about it!

#uh. UHHHH. #(*drops this in the ship tag and runs away*) #meronia #you're telling me a god of death made this note? #multi t(ASK)ing #mc13 writes #my god you don't want to know how much time I spent going over this again and again for absolutely no fucking reason

[musical-chick-13]

Usually "self-indulgence" in fic for me looks like, "This person gets a hug," or "this character has the same mental illness as I do," but really, the ultimate act of self-indulgence is giving a character my exact Classical music preferences.

#WOULD she like modern opera? idk!! but she does now!!!!! #and she likes alllllll the composers I do :) #(odd to me that I ONLY do this with river. like I don't do this with cersei. she has different music opinions than me) #(but maybe it's because I understand her to the point of absurdity so I can't bear to put parts of myself onto her that I don't think she #shares) #(like. for example I don't think cersei would like berlioz. she WOULD like salome. these are not opinions I have lmao.) #(river likes and dislikes everything that I do though. her favorite composer is phil. glass. because I said so.) #mc13 writes #The Fic That's A Lot #c2g #I am going to TRY to update this tomorrow but there KEEP BEING MORE SCENES #THIS CHAPTER IS IN DANGER OF BEING LIKE TWICE AS LONG AS THE FIRST ONE

[musical-chick-13]

You ever write a line and go. "Girl, wtf."

#mc13 writes #this is. sure a fic. #deranged oneshot #honestly if I'm ever going to get Cancelled™ for writing something Needlessly Weird it's probably going to be this one if I'm being honest.

[musical-chick-13]

*pointing at my reflection while giving myself a death glare* Just make the shitty incomplete first draft, Just make the shitty incomplete first draft, Just make the shitty incomplete first draft, Just make the shitty incomplete first draft, JUST MAKE THE SHITTY INCOMPL-

#mc13 writes #I have NO idea why my brain is being Like This #like I have so much of this fully worded out in my head but I CANNOT sit down to actually type it #is this the 'artistic vulnerability' fear again? #IS THE REASON LITERALLY ALWAYS THAT????

[musical-chick-13]

Mini-preview Monday (because I missed six-sentence Sunday as;dlfkajs;dls)

What finally ends the whole ordeal is River setting a trap for the leading military general and, once captured, holding him at knifepoint.

“How many lives do you have? Just the one?” She asks coldly, inching the knife at his throat marginally closer to his skin.

The man stares at her in barely-concealed terror. 

“I asked you a question.”

“Yes,” he chokes out.

“Good.”

“What are you,” his eyes dip down, warily focused on the blade she has in her hand—striking silver and glinting ominously, despite the relative darkness of the section of the woods they’re standing in, “Going to do with that?”

“Well that depends.”

A heavy, disgusting, pitiful gulping sound erupts from somewhere in the general’s larynx. “On?”

River moves the knife, exacting and steady, until it’s resting just to the left of his sternum, directly over his heart. “How much you want to keep your life.”

#:) #women's wrongs <3 #as always might edit this later etc. etc. #this is NOT from current multichapter we are long past the point where posting ANY excerpt of that would make ANY sense out-of-context #see! I can talk about wips that aren't the same story!!! #tw: knives #tw: violence #?? I guess ?? #I feel like this should be tagged for something but I'm not sure what #mc13 writes #I get to write about her Penchant For Violence in this one it's very fun #(<-very totally normal thing for me to say)

[musical-chick-13]

@SELF GIRL YOU ARE SO CLOSE, PLEASE JUST FINISH THIS FUCKING TASK OH MY GODDDDDD

#mc13 writes #The Fic That's A Lot #c2g #PROVIDED I can successfully edit* by. end of day tomorrow. there should be. an update. but like. that's. that's not a promise. it's #a moderately-likely possibility #*when I say 'successfully edit' I mean 'do a broad edit in context' not. whatever tf my compulsions are doing on a line-by-line basis #(though I do have some tools going forward to hopefully help with that.) #my god trying to create things while you have this illness is a fucking trip lmao

[musical-chick-13]

This just in, area women puts yet ANOTHER gratuitous fucking music metaphor in her goddamn story.

#I'M SORRY. I HAVE ONE PARTY TRICK AND IT'S THIS. #I CAN AND WILL KEEP REPEATING IT UNTIL I AM DEAD #AND TBH PROBABLY AFTER #mc13 writes #I'm so close to finishing the scene. I am so close. SOOOOO close. And then all that's left are the edits. I can do it. I CAN DO IT.

[musical-chick-13]

WIP WEDNESDAY

LOOK AT THAT, I FOUND A LITTLE SECTION IN THIS THING THAT ISN'T JUST GRADE-A-DERANGED THE WHOLE TIME

It’s during times like this where she thinks, in a manner that’s insane even for her, that maybe the abysmal parts of her childhood were all worth it. If it hadn’t been for the Silence and Madame Kovarian, she might never have met the Doctor at all, and then she wouldn’t have this–this little moment (which, to be honest, really shouldn’t affect her as much as it does), this one-of-many stupid little moments of hope that what they have might be as precious to him as it is to her.

That’s a thought, isn’t it: turning years of compounded trauma into something good. One could even call it optimistic, if they were naïve enough to think that word had any meaning in the grand scheme of the universe.

But then, her husband has a way of making optimism and naivete look surprisingly tempting.

#this probably-once again-is making this story look like something MUCH different than what it actually is #but I LITERALLY do not know how else to hold myself to finishing the last quarter of this unless I just keep talking about it #(okay the last quarter of the FIRST draft.) #mc13 writes #The Fic That's A Lot #I have to go to A Medical Thing but when I get back. we are doubling down. on The Writing™. #(for the sake of everyone's sanity. so that I can finally stop fucking talking about this lmao)

[musical-chick-13]

Six-Sentence Sunday

(Not related to the thing I keep talking about, but I did remember I was working on this, so here you go. Pour one out for Mireille/Silvana, the most problematic™ sapphics I can think of, and the rarest rarepair in my armada of ships.)

If she were one of those excessively sullen Russian writers, she might say something pretentious like, The greatest intimacy you can give another is taking her life, but Mireille knows that’s not true. She’s killed a lot of people for a lot of jobs, and every time it’s been a methodical, clinical process; there’s no intimacy in any of it. But this feels…different.  Sure, finally eliminating the Intoccabile is cathartic and it’s a climactic end to a conflict that’s been building for years, but even more than a grand finale, it feels almost like…a confession. Of what exactly, she can’t say. But it’s much more personal than any other assassination she’s done. Driving the knife into Silvana’s abdomen feels like some sort of communion ritual, and that would probably break Mireille’s brain if she wasn’t so exhausted.

#yes there ARE a bunch of gratuitous religious references in this fic #noir #noir anime #noir 2001 #mireille x silvana #mireille bouquet #silvana greone #the intoccabile #would you believe this thing is 10000 words and still needs probably about 4-or-5-thousand more truly I cannot be concise to save my life #I hereby dub this ship name: #silmir #which I can do because I'm the only one who cares about it probably #this is 100% just an effort to get me more used to sharing things I create. and this piece is...probably the least daunting to share #out of everything I'm currently working on #mc13 writes #SHIP: revenge is the greatest act of forgiveness

[musical-chick-13]

Why did I set the story up like this.

#I made some choices. and those choices make it harder to communicate what I'm trying to communicate #(at least without being like. SUPER heavy-handed about it) #*shaking my brain around chaotically* MAKE GOOD WORDS #mc13 writes #c2g #The Fic That's A Lot

[musical-chick-13]

Sometimes I remember that there are people out there getting paid to write stuff that I find absolutely reprehensible, either on a personal level or an artistic one. And if THEY can get PAID for this. Then I can make a fun little fanfiction story for free and have it be imperfect.

#specifically I'm remembering everything that gave me a Bad Time™ in regard to its horrible depiction of mental illness #and you know what. regardless of whether I write about that topic or not. at least I'm not doing THAT. whatever I do it's. it's not that. #and that is incredibly freeing to remember #mc13 writes

[musical-chick-13]

HAD A STORY EPIPHANY, EVERYBODY CLAP

#mc13 writes

[musical-chick-13]

Six (Eight)-Sentence Sunday

once again, this is not from ANYTHING I'm currently working on, but May IS mental health awareness month, and mental illness IS the focus of this piece, so.

She sees the way he looks at the stars, at the passage of time and all the wonders those things hold. He looks at them with a fascination more powerful than any force in the universe and that, she thinks, is love, not the way he looks at her. She knows any pitifully, humanly mundane thing such as a marriage or romantic connection could never hold the same appeal. And that alone she might be able to deal with, but she’s had a lifetime of trauma, of people telling her she’s not kind enough, not personable enough, not strong enough, not good enough, and she’s just lost her parents. She can never see Amy and Rory again, and the Doctor has retreated to God-knows-where to wallow in his own grief and she’s lost the only three people she cared about. ...Okay, that’s not really true. She cares a lot more than she can ever let on to anyone, not even her family. (A girl’s still got to have some secrets, after all.)

#tw: parent death #tw: family death #(not really sure exactly how to tag for that if anyone has better ideas let me know) #my poor space wife :( #she like. REALLY goes through it in this one. #(I mean. she kind of goes through it in everything I write for her just about but. it is. BAD here.) #(as per the course of having this disorder unfortunately) #(but it's okay because she gets better and she goes to therapy and she learns how to be happy) #(anyway did you know that she has pure-o o/c/d just like me? she told me so herself.) #otp: you are always here to me #mc13 writes