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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

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Don’t Call Me Angel - Detective Meares x Reader (Needle)

GIF CREDIT: X

All responsibility out the window here, I can’t claim any, it’s all Mendo Nation’s fault! No seriously they came up with it, I’m innocent I swear!

Author’s Note: “How did we get here!? Who brought us here!?”

I stg, @mendelskrull and @crawlingmist started me on this damn man with digging up (and creating) gifs I didn’t even realise were a thing. And then I was like ‘you know I think I can probably get something out of him!’ and kinda dismissed that 500 words as all we were ever going to get.

Oh no. Then - rightfully so! - I did some campaigning for him on Twitter polls and now I’m here.

I digress. I wrote more for Meares, and you’re welcome.

Disclaimer: This is not my idea/plot and is a joint effort of the Mendo Nation - who let me go ahead and write it / Needle naught to do with me / gifs & lyrics not mine

Premise: When Meares turns up at a crime scene and finds a second potential victim he’ll do anything to see the killer brought to justice, for her. If he can figure out who the killer is...

Words: 8277

Warnings: TW potential rape discussed / sexual connotations / sexual pre-amble / swearing / kidnap / I really tried to make that last scene as far from non-con as I possibly could but I still want to put a warning for it jic.

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Don't call me angel when I'm a mess Don't call me angel when I get undressed You know I, I don't like that, boy I make my money, and I write the checks So say my name with a little respect All my girls successful, and you're just our guest Do I really need to say it? Do I need to say it again, yeah? You better stop the sweet talk And keep your pretty mouth shut Boy, don't call me angel, You ain't got me right Don't call me angel, You can't pay my price Ain't from no Heaven,Yeah, you heard me right Even though you know we fly, Don't call me angel You sizin' up my body, oh yeah Don't you know that I bite when the sun set? So don't you try come around me Might work with her, but not me, oh yeah Don't you know that I bite when the sun set? Keep my name out your mouth I know what you about So keep my name out your mouth I appreciate the way you watch me, I can't lie I drop it down, I pick it up, I back it off the county line I fell from Heaven, now I'm living like a devil You can't get me off your mind I appreciate the way you want me, I can't lie I drop it low, I back it up, I know you wanna think you're mine Baby, I totally get it, you can't guess so You can't get me off your mind We in it together, but don't call me angel

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Abandoned building in the middle of nowhere – that wasn’t so unusual, not for a crime scene anyway. This was the kind of place he half expected to be sent to. Not that he particularly wanted to go – another Detective had been on the case this morning, but apparently something a little more interesting had come up for them and so Meares was thrown the file. ‘So… where’s my crime scene?’ in fact, he wasn’t even sure he was in the right place by the fact there appeared to be no officers guarding the scene. Only the tape strung across the front of the building let him know that’s exactly where he wanted to be. Maybe they’d all just been lazy and decided to clock off for the evening? He ducked under the tape and flicked his torch on, which he still needed because the lights in the warehouse were so goddamn dim. But why had everyone left? The sheet was still over the body and to him that only signalled that the scene had yet to be fully processed. ‘Fucking bastards sending me out here…’ He huffed, ‘If they’ve all miked off drinking I swear to GO---D.’ He noticed how he was also alone out here and his partner, Detective Reddick, didn’t want to bother driving across town for it either. “Aw, nah, it’ll only take one of us. Report back..!” Cursing again, Meares approached the victim, he supposed he might have to start this alone. Bending over he grasped the corner of the white sheet delicately – having learned from previous crime scene interactions that sometimes he could be a little too flamboyant in his actions and there’d been a few ‘incidents’ – and stood to height as he pulled the fabric back from the body. Respect the victim - a little easier when he was alone… Meares guessed that sometimes he just liked being a show off and it was an unfortunate trait he couldn’t help. He jumped as he surveyed the body, just one glance over – his stumbled footsteps echoed around the warehouse, adding to the eerie atmosphere. Meares checked his papers, then the body, then the papers again, then the body… That was not a ‘white male, 20s, average build, deep lacerations, bruising and ligature marks’. This was a very naked (but very beautiful) woman; possibly around the same age bracket - but the body itself looked intact. “Okay. Who is out here pranking me now!?” Had someone switched files? Had someone told him the wrong location? No, no, how often did that happen? Everything else about his file was right, apart from the body. Meares tipped his head, tongue between his lips as he drew his eyes back up her. He rolled it with a small tsk sound, and then knew he was smirking. It was probably very inappropriate to think that a potential victim was hot, even when it was as confusing as to why this was the body in front of him. But her form dipped and curved in just the right places, her skin very nearly perfect… Meares wouldn’t have guessed she’d been dead too long, but also didn’t see any way that she could have died. He stepped carefully around her, her eyes may have been closed but she had an Angel face to match her body, Meares thought hard; ‘more importantly, why is she at my crime scene? And if she is here… where is the real body?’ He let his eyes linger on her for a little too long, and felt that guilty blush build up on his cheeks, travelling fairly swiftly to his neck… but the rush of blood travelled a little further than expected. NO. NO. C’mon, man… He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. But found himself suddenly sad that she was the victim; of course, every victim was difficult but as a detective he had to do his best to separate- “Is it her or her body, though? C’mon. You have nooo idea what she’s-” Meares paused, “Aw, great, I’ve finally cracked I’m talking to myself at a crime scene.” He stopped his walk, palm to his forehead for a minute, “Well, nothing like an expert opinion!” He looked her body over again. No, he was fairly certain there was no obvious sign of trauma. Nor anything to indicate any other type of foul play. And it still bothered him that the body was supposed to be male-! ‘It sure does feel like a set up…’ And of course, forensics had all cleared off. He took one more step towards her; maybe Meares just wasn’t thinking clearly enough. ‘Too distracted, obviously.’ But also maybe he just wasn’t looking closely enough. His eyes lingered on her face ‘Who are you? Why are you here? Who did this to you..? C’mon, darling, I need answers…’ Meares didn’t have a chance to think much more than that; her eyes snapped open. If he thought he’d jumped back before, his string of yelled expletives matched the pounding of his heart in his chest as his adrenaline spiked. Yeah, dead bodies did that, occasionally – but dead bodies did not then take dry choked breaths that then became something close to strangled sobs. That didn’t surprise Meares either; she’d practically been declared dead, she was in a middle-of-nowhere warehouse, naked, and a male detective was now standing over her and – by his own admittance – probably looking a little leery. When her eyes focused on him all he saw on her face was terror, she pulled her knees up, arms around her body to cover herself as she attempted to scramble away. Meares threw his hands up, immediately going for his badge, “Hey, hey! It’s okay! It’s okay! My name’s Detective Meares. It’s alright – I’m here to help… I promise… you’re alright now.” He wasn’t sure she trusted him, and her nails dug hard into her skin. Meares shrugged himself out of his jacket, levelling his voice off in hushed tones. “You gave me quite a scare there you know?!” He smiled as he held it out for her, “I’m here to investigate a body, although believe me I’m glad you’re not one… take it. It’s okay… We should probably get you outta here…” He watched her slip it on, buttoning the front up to look as modest as possible, but she still shivered. “You… got a name?” Her eyes raised back to his face, but suddenly she shook her head, “I don’t…” “Remember?” Her nod was certainly sad and he didn’t want her to panic and spiral, but anything he could get now would aid his case greatly, “Do you remember anything? Why you’re here, what happened? Anything about who did this? What about your clothes honey, do you know what you were wearing?” She continued to shake her head, and Meares certainly didn’t want to stress her out any more than he had to. “Okay, it’s okay, this happens. I’m sure it’ll come to you. It’s all going to be fine. But, I should really get you over to a hospital.” “I don’t-” “Honey it’s procedure, I don’t have much of a choice,” he held his hand out for her, “you’re safe with me. No one is going to hurt you.” She placed her hand in his delicately, and Meares felt like he was going on some kind of power trip, but not a bad kind of trip; she trusted him. He was going to protect her now, that was his duty. He pulled her up, trying to keep his eyes on her face. “Thank you.” “Hey, we’re not there yet, you can thank me later. Let’s make sure you’re all okay, right now. Come on, I’ll get you to the car and get you warmed up.” He didn’t touch her as he led her to it, opening the door; Meares would put the heat on for her, he’d pull up to the hospital and they could do tests and maybe he’d get some more evidence from her… And she’d remember too, once she was over the shock, he was sure. He slid his mobile out of his pocket, calling his partner as he jogged around to the driver’s side of the car, indicated that he should meet Meares at the hospital and they could figure it out from there. The detective paused, looking back at the building for just a moment as he opened the door… There was just once problem he couldn’t quite figure out here. “Where the fuck is my actual body, though?!”

** You kept glancing across to the detective as he sped towards the hospital, and you did mean that – Meares was running every light and had his blue lights flashing. He looked on the verge of his 40’s, messy greying black hair and piercing blue eyes – though the true colour seemed fleeting as they changed with his emotions. And those were all over the place right now, that much was obvious. Although he appeared to be being the gentleman, sometimes he couldn’t help but look over at you – and his glances to your body weren’t very fleeting, either. In a normal situation you supposed you would be flattered, but right now you were having doubts you could trust him to be taking you where he said he was. ‘No… He’s a detective. He surely wouldn’t take advantage of that?’ or, maybe he would; how much did you know about Meares anyway? Maybe not a lot; but he was very easy to read on the surface so you didn’t think that figuring him out was going to be much of a challenge. Eventually you started seeing the Hospital signs and could breathe a real sigh of relief; okay… you could trust him. Upon pulling up you noticed several other police vehicles waiting around outside – all with their lights also flashing. You gasped and visibly shrank back in your seat; Meares turned to you. “Don’t worry, I called for backup, they’re good guys. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He opened his car door. “I’ll be very quick, okay, just wait here. We’ll get you checked up.” You reached for his hand before he had a chance to leave and held him there for a minute, Meares thought that you might be about to thank him, but that wasn’t what came out of your mouth: “Y/N.” “…What?” “…My name. You asked my name.” You found yourself taken aback by how gentle and sweet his smile was, “Y/N, you remembered… That’s good progress. Real good progress.” His large hand enveloped yours for a second, “Excellent! Now just, wait here, the hospital will help you out!” By the time Detective Meares exited the car and found his partner he was panicking again, “God damn, Meares-! What the hell is going on!” “You tell me! They send me to a crime scene where somebody is supposed to have been cut through, and I find a live woman there? What happened to all the investigators!? Anyway, that isn’t the point, she’s sitting in my car, I don’t know who she is – she’s barely remembered her first name – she doesn’t know how she got there and she’s half naked! And that’s only cuz she has my jacket! Who does that to a girl and leaves her in the middle of a crime scene!?” Reddick wiggled his eyebrows, “Naked ehhhhhh?!” Meares immediately hit him, “No! She’s a victim, quite possibly a witness once we get through to her!” Although his face burned, it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought the same thing. “…Well they knew someone would find her in a crime scene?” “Logical if it was accidental but then evidence has been moved, where’s the logic there, huh?” “Maybe forensics has the body.” “…Then why send me with the damn report like a body is there?” “Because they don’t like you, Meares?” “Fuck that. No wonder this department is a laughing stock…” He sighed angrily, “Look, if we have the body, great, but someone has tampered with that scene, and there’s either a secondary scene for her, or new forensic evidence at this one. Get down there with some people and figure it out.” His partner groaned, “Why me!?” “Because I’M staying with the victim for questioning, and hospital test results. I found her, her mind is clearly fragile, right now I am the familiar face-!” “Shouldn’t you be telling the department all this?” Meares glared at him, “Quit whining! Sure, I’ll do it. Can you please get down there – I really don’t want to leave her alone too long!” “Fine… fine, I’m going, but then get them to come straight out to me.” Reddick peered around his friend, “She’s a good-looking girl.” “Y-Yeah.” Meares also turned on the spot, you were looking at the hospital nervously, chewing your lip, “She is.” “And you’ve seen her naked.” There was a waiver of amusement in the other Detective’s voice, Meares turned back to him, snapping: “Will you get out of here!” ** Meares hung around in the hospital as long as he could before they forced him to leave to conduct their tests. Not before he took your hands and promised you he’d be back as soon as they let him. You did trust him, you knew that already – right now he seemed like the only person you could trust; and he’d brought you to a hospital and he trusted them to take care of you. You took a deep shaky breath as he let you go, but you knew everything was going to be okay. Once outside he called his superiors to tell them the news. That he’d found a secondary victim and that Reddick was back at the scene to retrieve any other evidence – luckily that was met positively and a forensics team was dispatched. Although Meares did mutter something about lack of communication under his breath. He had to voice his concern now: “There were no police or detectives on the scene – things have been moved, or must be missing. Someone got a second body in there between them packing up and me arriving. And conveniently no one was around to see anything!? And if I just missed them, then I’d say the killer was watching us, or the building. You have the body right-!?” “Yes. Meares, don’t you worry about that.” “Why send me with paper work?! This all seems fairly suspicious to me!” He was rambling and he knew that he probably shouldn’t have let that become more than just a thought, but Meares couldn’t help it. “You’re not shouting conspiracy, Meares?” “Are you giving me reason to?” There was silence for a moment, before a heavy sigh, “We’ll put you on the case team, see what you can get from our live victim.” “Thank you, Sir. They’re going to call me when the tests are finished.” With that they both hung up, but Meares couldn’t help but think that something was going on: after all, he wouldn’t exactly have called that answer straight. Much more like a bribe not to mention it. Someone isn’t saying something Meares… Watch your back… Was the only conclusion he could draw, dropping his mobile into his pocket he leant his head back against the waiting room wall and closed his eyes. He’d figure it out; that was his job. *** He was woken by a nurse, who led him into a back room. “Well, it’s all fairly conclusive Detective.” “I do like easy.” Meares grinned, but she didn’t find his joke attempt amusing, so he cleared his throat, “What happened to her?” “A fairly heavy dosage of sedative. Ketamine.” “She was drugged? That makes sense… isn’t that like a date rape drug?” “Correct. Although the rape kit has come back negative. And she didn’t ingest it, it was injected into her.” “Someone really knew what they were doing.” She nodded, “She’s not a regular user?” “No. No recent tracks or scars in her skin, she’s clean apart from this.” Meares nodded, mulling the information over, “You say fairly heavy… enough for the memory loss she’s experiencing? There’s also gotta be a reason why I didn’t realise she was alive, right? But Ketamine elevates heart rate?” “In small doses – but this wasn’t a small does, Detective. As for her memory, I wouldn’t say so but it could be a stress reaction, we don’t know what else happened to her tonight, or at any other point. It doesn’t have to be related to the drug.” “I guess I’ll only find out when her memory returns.” “Yes, but she’s doing very well, she’s certainly open to talking to you – in fact she asked for you.” “No doubt, do you think she’s ready for questions?” “Go easy on her, Detective.” “Oh, I promise.” Meares nodded, and he meant it, “Just one last thing. I found her at a crime scene, we had a body that had been almost completely lacerated. When I turn up on the scene her body is in the same place. Could… could it have killed her?” “Any sedative in a high amount could yes, but not the amount in her. Perhaps it is only to sedate the victims until the killer is ready to…” the nurse paused, not willing to spout conjecture, “I will say this, at least, she’s very, very lucky you found her Detective. Less she become just like your body.” “On that, I’m sure we can all agree.” When Meares reappeared in the room that you’d been set up in, your heart couldn’t help but give a flutter of excitement – he surely was a very attractive man, and kind too, although you weren’t sure if you could call him your knight in shining armour. A knight in one-hell-of-a-suit, maybe. Though you noticed his shirt was untucked and his tie a little more slacked than it had been previously. You were dressed in a hospital gown now, but you were still clutching his jacket. His scent was unfamiliar to you, but it was one you liked. Meares sat next to you, once again taking your hand in his; you thought your pulse might run wild and suddenly felt light headed – but you controlled it. “How are you feeling?” “Alright, considering what happened… And thanks to you, god knows what would have happened if-” He stilled you, “Hey, you don’t need to think about that. Sounds like you were on one hell of a trip!” the grin indicated he had just cracked a joke, although your laugh was more embarrassed than anything else, “I… suppose.” “I’m sorry-” His eyes left yours, “I have… never been too good with my comedic timing. I wanted to ask though, Y/N, if you’d be up for answering some questions of mine?” You weren’t sure how much help you’d be, but you certainly wanted to help him. “Of course, Meares, anything.” Anything. His heart almost skipped at that, heat rushing back to places it had no business being. Anything was a big word, and he could think of plenty of things he wanted that were certainly not appropriate to bring up right now! He took a slow breath, c’mon. Be professional! For once! “Well, hey, we have your name now at least. And I have a little data on you from the hospital – with your consent to use it, of course. So, I know your address, we can get you back home, maybe that’ll help too.” Yes, he had your name, and you certainly liked the way he said it. “Oh, of course, use whatever will help your case.” Meares nodded gently, “Well, let’s start simple, do you remember what you were wearing?” “Uhm. Yes.” Although you chewed your lip, blushing – and he caught the red. “It’s okay, it stays in this room.” “Just a short black dress, off shoulder, low cut. Maybe even very low cut. Small split up the side… I remember… I remember thinking that I had to wear my sexiest dress. That was very important.” He raised an eyebrow, “Hot date?” “I-I don’t think so.” Although maybe you’d count this… interview… “Shoes?” “Good heels, yes. But also black, nothing fancy. Uhm, some… obscure brand that you only find in stores like T.K.Maxx…” “So we’re looking for a dress and heels. That’s good, you’re doing great.” He squeezed your hand, “Anything else?” You shook your head, “No, I… I wasn’t wearing-” “Oh. Oh, no, that’s- That’s okay… Dress, heels. We’re hoping your items are at a secondary crime scene. So, any detail is good. Do you remember anything, about where you were?” “…Some crowded part of town. I know, that doesn’t help any but…” “Well, do you have any idea what time? We have plenty of ways of figuring out where – sounds like you’re heading for a night out.” “Yeah, uh, 9:30, maybe closer to 10?” You scrunched your face, “That’s habitual. I don’t think I was meeting someone…” “Well, there’s security footage in the busy parts of town as you can imagine, so, I’ll get a team working on that.” “Thank you.” You took his other hand, and instinct laced your fingers with his, “Meares, I… I don’t know what I would have done if-” “I said don’t think on it. You’re safe. Keep moving forward, okay? Well, okay, maybe any information you do remember would still be good!” You giggled, then gathered his jacket and held it out for him, “And for this, especially.” “Oh!” He looked a little bashful for a second, “It’s not anything anyone else wouldn’t have done.” “But it was you.” There was another silence of understanding as you looked into each other’s eyes; his really did change just like weather. “No…” His tone was quiet, and he pushed it back at you, “Keep it. It looks good on ya.” “Y-You think?” “Mhm.” That small smirk was playful, and made more than just your stomach flutter. Oh… “Well, I guess I should thank you once more, detective.” “Don’t mention it… Just keep talking, maybe that’ll trigger something.” He had the right idea, but for the investigation it proved rather fruitless. Eventually he stopped you, just because you were getting so worked up about it not being useful. But he did learn a little bit about your life, even the most random of details helped Meares build up a picture of you, and that could really help him figure out the ‘why you’. It wasn’t necessarily the same person that had done this to you as had killed the first victim, but if it was there could be a connection somewhere. Perhaps a crime of opportunity, but that was down to Meares and his detective skills to figure out. Some details that you could remember were patchier than others, and as you struggled with the want to give him more information you became less forthcoming with anything you thought was unusable. Meares had taken notes and finally pocketed his notebook. “Y/N, I promise you, everything you’ve told me is important. It helps us build a profile of the person we need to catch too. Maybe there’ll be similarities between you and our victim. Trust me, in an investigation like this no detail is useless or too insignificant. Everything counts. And you’re brave for going through this with me.” He stood, leaning forward he kissed your forehead and you gasped, making him think that once again he’d screwed up professionally. Though Meares was hardly sure he was thinking professionally at the moment; you were a nice girl. Someone he’d actually want to hang out with… that wasn’t just your body talking to him, although that was a somewhat delightful image still burned into his head. He would do anything to bring the person who had done this to justice, he vowed that to himself. “Stay in the hospital tonight, just make sure you’re okay and I’ll come back in the morning, alright?” You nodded, “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow, Meares.” Today, by the looks of his watch, but it was still dark. Not tomorrow until you’ve been to bed-! was a rule he liked living by. “Goodnight, Y/N. Try to get some rest.” You smiled, watching him leave, and wishing he didn’t have to go: “Goodnight Detective, you too.” *** Meares did turn up at the hospital the next day for you, and seen as they were good with discharging you, he offered to drive you home. At first you thought that would be fine but, under Meares’ gaze in his car, this time your heart kept running away with your thoughts. He really was gorgeous, and now you were seeing him in natural lighting those blue eyes were even more stunning. Even when you stole glances at him and traced that side profile… Should you be thinking this way about him? Meares was supposed to be investigating what had happened to you, after all. You doubted he’d be able to have a relationship with you; not when the investigation was open. He’d noticed these shy little glances of yours and could barely hold that smirk back, you must have been checking him out. Meares was fine with that of course – and this morning you’d walked out of hospital with his jacket on, and he wasn’t reserved about admiring you in it, especially now sitting in his car again. He knew your address but he was certainly taking the scenic route, Meares’ drive was leisurely at most. Once he did pull up at your home, you were both clearly disappointed. You hesitated, staring up at your front door. Thinking he should probably be being the gentleman right now, Meares rounded the vehicle to open the car door for you – but you just kept staring forward. “I don’t want to go.” Your voice was timid, but he still caught it. “What? Why? You’re home.” “I don’t feel safe here. Not alone.” You shook your head, seemingly shrinking back into your seat, “I can get people posted, or watching the house, if you’re not comfortable.” You shook your head again, “What if whoever did this is watching the house-!? What if they’re waiting for me to be alone, Detective?!” Meares opened his mouth to try to calm you down, but this time his joke faltered. He couldn’t forgive himself if something happened before he arranged for someone to watch out for you. “Y/N… I don’t know what else I can really do with you.” Your big eyes looked up to his, pleading, “Can’t I stay with you? For a little? Until I feel safe again.” He almost did a double take, and hoped he looked level and not like he was about to punch the air – a little like what was happening in his head – “…I don’t know if my supe’s are gonna like that. But I can sure ask. They might pull me off the case to do it. But your safety should be paramount, and you’re a key witness. It’s just-” You knew exactly what he was getting at but tilted your head, “Just what, detective?” Meares for once opted not to run his mouth, and swallowed thickly eyes flicking down your body again – he hoped inconspicuously – “…It’s nothing. Don’t worry. I’ll call them. I have a spare room, don’t you want to collect some things first… though?” So, Meares found himself dropping you at his house. Although he didn’t see how this was helpful for you, considering he still had to leave you alone and work on the case at the precinct. He guessed no one was going to think of finding you here. And, obviously, he was secretly elated… Even though Meares guessed he was about to get heavily reprimanded for this. And he was laid into quite hard, despite his – fairly calm – explanation as to why. Oh yes, of course he wanted to raise his voice, yell about it to be heard – but he didn’t think that would help him in keeping you at his. Upon offering to hand the case to someone else in exchange for making sure you were truly safe, his superior immediately scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous, you’ve done the hard work.” “I don’t want to compromise anything!” “You should have thought about that before you agreed to let her stay.” “So pull me off, like I said. You have my write up… She’s scared, she doesn’t remember things, I found her… I just think giving her some familiarity and comfort right now is a good idea.” “Familiarity? In a house she’s never seen before?” “You… know what I mean.” “Just, be sensible, Meares.” “Yes Sir.” “You do know how to do that, don’t you?” Meares made the mistake of laughing, and it wasn’t met well, before he turned serious: “Y-Yes. Of course.” The case itself brought about good progress very quickly, with all your files back from the hospital and his own notes – coupled with what they knew about the victim, and witness interviews begun, the team were beginning to shape a picture of events. Fingerprints and DNA helped narrow the list of people who would have been around the warehouse recently, and soon interviewing witnesses became interviewing suspects. Your dress and shoes had been found well within a mile radius from the warehouse, and whilst sweeping the areas around, needles – one containing Ketamine – were also recovered with the DNA of both you and the victim. General consensus was the killer had tampered with the crime scene. That raised questions of its own; why, and how had they been able to? Meares believed that’d lead to some internal investigation – and he was still mindful to be cautious around others in the department - but right now catching this person was paramount. *** Your relationship continued to grow. Although Meares was very careful with what he told you. You understood why, this was his job on the line after all. But of course he kept you updated on your own case; he was determined to catch the person who did this. It was good to see how joyous he became the more information he gathered, and how Meares would always announce ‘we’re close!’ if you asked for an update. You weren’t sure exactly how true that was, considering he’d been saying that for weeks, but you couldn’t help but be happy that he was happy. Detective Meares made you feel safe, safer than you had been for a long time. And as you started to remember little pieces that would help him, Meares got excited to grab his little recorder to make sure he had everything right. You continued to get closer, and you were sure by now you’d outstayed your welcome at his place and you should be heading back home – but neither of you raised the subject of you leaving, and he never asked if you were safe enough to go home, even though it was obvious by your attitude and body language that you were. It started slow – to build to something more than the victim and the detective who had saved your life (probably), you were sitting on the couch together watching TV. Not even a movie, just news reports, but you leaned into him, head on his shoulder. For a moment Meares tensed – not in an uncomfortable, ‘I don’t want this’ way, but in a ‘is this really happening?!’ way. Meares didn’t dare breathe for a minute, and yet as if to prove how much you meant it, you cuddled into him a little more, soaking up his bodily warmth. Meares’ smirk was a little too smug, but you were smiling too, and your cheeks began to hurt as his arm snaked around your shoulders and he pulled you a little closer. Meares knew he probably shouldn’t be doing this. But, fuck it, when had he ever really listened to rules and procedure? You were beautiful, no, you were gorgeous. Wasn’t it the first thing he’d noticed about you anyway? He pulled your body into his, hand settling on your waist; and you didn’t complain. Maybe Meares was right, maybe you wanted him as bad too. Was that a good thing? Well, he knew he would certainly choose to believe it was.

Pretty soon that dynamic changed, and cuddling on the couch turned into making out on the couch. It didn’t take much persuasion; he’d been staring at you like that ever since he’d first met you and you were certainly hot on him too. As you both leaned closer Meares tilted his head, smirking “Whatcha thinking about Angel Face?” And how you almost returned his smirk as you looked deep into those ever-changing blue eyes, “Kissing you.” Angel Face - That was his nick-name for you, even if he wouldn’t admit how he came to that conclusion, and it just stuck. You soon found out that if you ran your fingers through his hair Meares would groan into the kiss - and it was no wonder that he always liked his hair being messed up. Clearly it was even better for him when you did it. Professionalism be damned, the detective was not about to resist you. And he’d offered to be off the case, fair and square, he didn’t see how they could blame him now. Especially when you looked like that.

Being with him was just so easy; old enough to know better, young enough to still be playful - but he could bounce back from any fuck ups, a little headstrong and rough around the edges… No one was ever perfect though. A good man, even if he spent his time making inappropriate comments or jokes - just as often in content as in his timing. But all of that just made you love him more, that attractive face of his (not to mention his voice) was the best bonus. It only made you wonder what was under his clothes… after all, he already knew what was under yours. And you were fairly certain that was an image burned into his head.

This meant Meares had a particular way of staring at you; you wouldn’t call it predatory, but it had that kind of effect on you. Your pulse ran and your eyes widened and sometimes you struggled to breathe against the weight of his stare; drawing his eyes slowly up and down your body, tilting himself to get better views of you. The way his lips parted and he ran his fingertips over them, or sometimes his tongue before he smirked. Of course he wondered when he’d get to see you naked again. You weren’t sure if that made you more or less scared of it being an eventuality. Sometimes you shied away from him completely. Sometimes you had the confidence but found yourself unable to speak it.

Today was not either of those. Today the stars aligned all from a seemingly innocent sentence. If Meares hadn’t wondered aloud if you were ready to return back to your own house then you probably wouldn’t have had the opportunity to take his hand and turn him back to you. You found the words to be honest: “I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to be alone. Or without you. Again.” For the first time Meares saw something in you that he hadn’t before. Whilst the sentence had been said in all innocence there was a wildness in your eyes. An untameable force that somehow you were holding back. You very nearly stole his breath with that look alone. He kissed you hard and fast; slipping out of his own jacket before reaching out to pull your hips to his.

When he broke away from you, the look on your face was of slight wonder. Yet that wildness was still there - and the trembling he felt under his fingertips was not because you were nervous and scared. It was because of what you were holding back: this didn’t match the personality that you’d been showing off to him; shy and sweet and delicate. Meares wondered which was real, this or the girl he thought you were just pretending to be. Cupping your face in his large hands his next kiss was delicate, lips barely touching yours. “Don’t hold back now Angel Face.”

He found himself yanked back to you almost angrily by his tie, the look in your eyes not hiding now. Oh, you didn’t intend to.

***

He was falling for you. And hard. Meares didn’t want to call it love yet, but he thought it could be. He wasn’t sure he was simply in lust with you - but he’d keep that option on the table. You were always lingering in the back of his mind, and now he knew what your sex was like you weren’t just an image of a naked body, but a whole experience. And every so often you’d use this to your advantage, and send him pictures that made him smirk and text eagerly back: ‘Bad girls get put in handcuffs, you know?’

Of course, all this had to happen right around the time of the major case break through. And not a breakthrough Meares particularly wanted. One day he was called down to the forensics room, and was faced with a mix of items of both yours and the first victims. They had been through everything again, and again, and again and nothing. Meares hoped that today was the day they’d finally find something that would help. “Detective, we will have to simply call it.” “We can’t give up on them! The killer is still out there!” “There’s nothing more we can do. Nothing - if we go on evidence alone now, logically there’s conclusions that must be drawn.” Meares sighed and placed his hands flat on the table, stretching his body back behind him; “Give it to me again.” “There’s NO other DNA in that warehouse, on her clothes, nothing.” “No other person?” “None.” “No evidence that anyone else was involved?” Meares wanted there to be another angle, something beyond what he felt – with dread – that this was all building to. “No. And we have tested and retested everything.” As you well know, this seemed to say. “…What about our first body?” “Well, here’s the interesting thing.” “What?” And why hadn’t this ‘interesting thing’ been raised!? Meares knew he sounded more annoyed than he did elated at this potential breakthrough. “Same sedative.” “So what, they were coming back for her?” That didn’t make things any better. He certainly was glad he’d found you if that was the conclusion. There was awkward hesitation, before the technician cleared his throat: “…Prints on the syringe are hers.” Meares raised an eyebrow, not quite understanding: “They… forced her to do it to… herself?” “Meares…” The look was pointed, “You know what the evidence is saying.”

Meares set his tablet up on the kitchen side, staring at it hard, before taking a stylus and trying to connect all the dots virtually. He’d been trying to do this in the office all day - and he almost had it but there were blanks that he was drawing that he still didn’t understand. They could easily have forced you into it, he doubted they’d forced you to inject someone else. But he suspected they could have had you self-inject. That’s what Meares wanted, but that wasn’t what the evidence was saying. That was never what the evidence was saying.

He had to be sure, and he’d found the security tapes of the warehouse opposite: terrible quality of course, and grainy. They’d already been dismissed by the team as being insufficient to gather anything from. But if you looked hard enough, if you knew what you were looking for, you’d find it. And he unfortunately did. This figure that he was seeing was you. It had to be you - it wasn’t like he could see your face, but he was living with you. He knew your body, he knew the way walked, the attitude you put into steps. This wasn’t that shy act either, this was careful and calculating. The person he knew, sure, but there was a horrendous chill that ran up his spine. Like he was watching some kind of horror movie. No one else went in or out of the warehouse after you. Then you came back out - he fast forwarded all the police investigators turning up - but you returned later… then nothing, until he showed up. And Meares knew the rest.

“Oh. SHIT.” His head bent forward and he rested it on the cold side. It’s you. It had to be you. Meares couldn’t help but admit his heart was a little broken, that he felt a little nervous and sick. Where were you? Were you here? A killer in his house; someone he trusted, he had feelings for, that he’d told about his life. Was everything you’d told him about yourself a lie? You didn’t remember anything, because there was nothing to remember. You’d killed someone, drugged yourself to make yourself look like a victim… watched the warehouse while the police did their work… but why? The why had him so confused. And it was a question he couldn’t answer. Meares wouldn’t put you in handcuffs until he had the whole story.

But he heard the sound behind him all too late, and as he straightened to react you grabbed him. Meares didn’t really have time to struggle, you’d been watching him - and bless his heart he was struggling. With the truth - but he didn’t know the whole truth just yet. You placed your hand over his mouth to stop him from crying out and sunk that needle in; no hesitation in injecting the heavy sedative into his veins. “Figured it out yet… Detective?”

***

Meares took a little longer to come around from the sedative than you’d have liked. No doubt it was the same one that you had used on yourself and your victim. Damn did he feel like an idiot. And drowsy. And have one hell of a pounding headache.

Didn’t take very many of his detective skills to figure out he was tied to a chair, hands bound too. He thought back to that first description; bruising and ligature marks. Looking around it seemed a little like he’d been put back in another warehouse. Though this one looked a little cleaner than the one he’d been investigating. Eventually his eyes fell on the figure approaching him; and Meares glared.

“You?!? It was you all along?!?” He sounded much more hurt than he wanted to, “Why would you do that?!?” You stopped a few feet from him, hands in your pockets, head tipped as you surveyed his body. It was slightly gratuitous, but he could hardly complain about it after what he’d been doing to yours. Meares supposed that he should be thankful he wasn’t naked. Then again...

You took a breath, and once again answered too honestly. “For you.” Meares squinted, disbelieving: “What the fuck!?” That made no sense. “Are you kidding!?” You shook your head, “Detective Meares I’ve been watching you for a very, very long time. And is it any wonder, just look at you.” You paused, biting your lip seductively. He hated to admit it was almost working, “...What better way to finally meet you? And the fact that you were the first man on the scene for me. Couldn’t have worked out better.” He swallowed, backing up as far as the chair and restraints would allow: “There’s better ways to get my attention.” “Oh, but it did... didn’t it. Get your attention.” You took a step back, but your eyes didn’t leave his, “Or I did.”

Meares face was illuminated fairly well by the dim lighting, and his cheeks flushed. Yes - but he’d only admit that in his head right now. Of course you’d caught his attention. Look at you. You were gorgeous. ‘She’s a fucking killer though, Meares, c’mon!’ Although he wasn’t really listening to that reasoning anymore as his eyes flicked up and down your body once more. He found himself struggling against the restraints. You smirked, “I wouldn’t do that, they’re your handcuffs.” Meares did the unexpected and smirked back, with a raised eyebrow, “Little kinky?” You gave him a look of amusement, but disappeared for a moment into the gloom. That made him panic a little and strain against the cuffs and binds again. No luck.

When you returned you placed a stool in front of his chair and sat opposite him, twisting the keys to his cuffs around your finger. “You want out?” Meares stared at the keys for a long while, before looking back to your face, then the keys, and then your face once more. When that gorgeous blue returned to the keys, Meares took a deep breath; he wouldn’t lie, he was in two minds here. ‘What’s she gonna do if I say yes, actually this is weirdly turning me on. If it weren’t for the context I’d actually quite like her to be in charge if we’re gonna fuck?...’ His eyes returned slowly to your face but you recognised that swallow; you knew exactly where Meares’ mind was at and what you were doing to him. That man was craving you, even now. “What are you gonna do to me? You gonna kill me now?” “Nothing you won’t like.”

A shiver of excitement ran his spine and he cursed himself, the widening of your smirk meant you’d seen it, and the way his pupils dilated. “I want answers.” “I don’t think you do. You want means and motive. I saw opportunity and your jurisdiction.” “You drugged yourself, stripped naked and… no maybe that was for me.” You enjoyed the way that blush rose on his face again. “Yes, Although I wasn’t really meant to inject quite so much sedative. I’m sure your labs will figure I have enough immunity to have got back to the crime scene after stripping off before it kicked in. And yes, of course for you.” You tilted your head, arms folded for a second, “I didn’t meant to go that hard; and it did affect my memory momentarily.” “You’ve… also obstructed the course of justice.” “There was no attack for me to remember.” “And the guy you… lacerated?” You shrugged, “Just some guy.” “...You- he was a random vic?” “Not entirely, but I’m sure you know by now he won’t be missed.” “You can’t just… do things like that.” Meares’ look was hard, his tone disgusted. “No, but I did.” “You’re psycho-!” “Little emotional there, detective.” He scoffed, “You expect me not to be?!” His eyes narrowed and for a moment hurt genuinely flickered across his face: “I can’t believe I fell for you, can’t believe I slept with you. Holy shit what have I got myself into-!?” “I just told you…” Your voice softened, and you leant forward, hands on his knees you pushed his legs apart. That shade of red on his face got deeper as his eyes widened: “So what, we’re gonna hate fuck now?” Your head tipped and you said it almost sweetly, “Not exactly.”

For a moment you left your stool and sat between his feet, arms up over his left thigh you leant against leg, eyes almost pure and innocent. “Oh. FUCK!” He had to voice something in realisation, after all. “Baby…” You ran your fingers up his inner thigh and loved the way he tensed under you, “Just let me take care of you.” “Y-Y/N…” His breathing hitched, should he want this? Shouldn’t he watch this? This was certainly going to fuck up his case. If it wasn’t already fucked. “You’re so god damn sexy when you’re frustrated…” Your voice purred and his body threatened to shudder once more. Meares felt himself getting hot, and that feeling was very quickly travelling down his body. “Geez, will ya just do it?!” His voice a mixture of anguish and yearning. There was underlying lust there too you were certain to capitalise on. You were certain you’d probably let him go; you didn’t want to have to kill him… What he would do to you, you weren’t sure. But you knew the implications of his relationship with you to the case. Well, he had warned them.

You smiled gently, eager to please, pulling the stool forward with your foot you sat back on it, leaning up to kiss him. “Do you want out of the cuffs?” He thought about his hands in your hair, about the control that would give him. “Mhm…” His voice wavered with what he was trying to hold back, you reached behind him and unlatched them, “Don’t worry, Detective, I trust you…” “I don’t know if I trust you,” then he smirked, “Angel Face.” You tsked him, giving him one last slow kiss, before your hands travelled to his belt, “I probably should have told you not to call me Angel… but that might have given it all away…” “Oh yeah…” Meares groaned at the sound of his zip coming undone and you sank back onto the stool properly. “That woulda done it…” You leant back on his knees, smile playful, “Just relax, Meares. Enjoy yourself.” “I’m not sure I’m gonna call it that right now.” You ran your tongue across your lips to wet them, “We’ll see, Detective… I’m sure you’ll find a way to appreciate this.” “Well…” He breathed deep again as you forced his legs a little wider, bringing his hands around, just itching to tangle in your hair, “Won’t say I won’t love the view…”

---

Cheers guys, I owe ya! 🤣

#Needle #Detective Meares #Detective Meares x Reader #Ben Mendelsohn #Oh my god I can't believe #Insert that scene of Gerry laughing and then crying #That's me RN #Nolan - Baby - please help yourself out here!#Scarlet #(yes... yes I named her too.)#Basically I was like /lets do this!/ and then decided to be more realistic #and even now I'm like /don't look so closely at all the detective stuff okay!?/#geez he's working in a universe where there's a torture box that can rip people apart via voo doo I don't think that whatever I write...#...can be much more farfetched that what happened in his actual movie.#I genuinely don't know how they get out of this situation.#Does he let her go?#194 #Mendo Nation #This one is SPECIFICALLY for the Mendo Nation on twitter

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

How Not To - Ralph Anderson x Shifter!Reader 3 (The Outsider)

Finale to Halfway Home & Control GIF Credit: X X @wltz-bby @happyskywhale #mendotagsquad @crawlingmist @mendelskrull - for your special interest in this series

Author’s Note: I thought I’d be lucky to induct Ralph Anderson to Team 10K. I didn’t realise he would become the second longest fic on here...

I underestimated just how much I wanted to put them through for their finale. I just hope it’s satisfying. 🙊🙏🤞

Muscially this has always been a big song for me, it seems appropriate to use it here. How Not To - Dan & Shay

Eyes Closed - Halsey

Special shout out to Amanda for her GIF analysis! Couldn’t leave it at just one, though...! 😅

Disclaimer: The Outsider nothing to do with me / These shifters are my creation, but I am once again using Stephen King’s ideas as references / lyrics & gifs not mine

Premise: Ralph Anderson never wants to hear the word ‘Shapeshifter’ again. Apparently that seems inevitable, and Holly brings him a new case. But they need an Outsider to catch an Outsider. And there only seems like one option...

Words: 15,330

Warnings: Swearing / just a whole bunch of angst/angsty fighting / sex (not smut)

⚠ Hurt / Angst Caution Warning (Not as bad as previous... but it’s there!) ⚠

_______

I can honestly understand why it's over I can go through the motions of walking away I can give you the key and take my things back I can find plenty things to fill my days

You're like second nature, baby, you're just like breathin' A melody that you hear and you can't forget The time goes by and I still need you Yeah, you worth the heartbreak and the regret

But I don't know how not to think about you When it's late at night and quiet And I know that I ought to be the one who is strong and just moves on But I’ll probably turn down your road, knock-knock on your door Fall back in your arms, wake up in the morning Hating myself for the way that I can't help the way I still want you I just don't know how not to, how not to, how not to I just don't know how not to, how not to, how not to

--- I, I know where to lay, I know what to say It's all the same And I, I know how to play I know this game, It's all the same

Would've gave it all for you, cared for you So tell me where I went wrong Would've trade it all for you, there for you So tell me how to move on They don't realize that I'm thinking about you It's nothing new, it's nothing new Now if I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you But he'll never stay, they never do Now if I keep my eyes closed he feels just like you But you've been replaced I'm face to face with someone new

---

If there was one call he never wanted, this one was it. Ralph could have sworn that when he said goodbye to Holly Gibney saying he’d like to work with her on a case again, he’d stated a normal one – and he absolutely did. Holly was great, once he’d got used to her. Once he’d kicked his ass into gear over the Frankie Peterson case and immersed himself into the supernatural side of things. When she called again and mentioned the word ‘shapeshifter’, once more Ralph was forced into silence. Preceded by ‘another’, of course, and Holly had to call his name multiple times before he found a voice to tell her he was listening. Now Ralph Anderson and Yune Sablo found themselves sitting back at Cherokee City PD as Holly stood in front of them: police board, evidence, photographs, markers to connect everything. Ralph’s heart sank completely; he didn’t need this again. He’d had enough of this for one lifetime, and unlike Shapeshifters he only had one lifetime. Holly had put together a good investigation; she’d been tracking this one for quite some time, and although it hadn’t stopped over in Cherokee City, it had been through here according to her research. Yet, even though Holly was able to track its movements, she was uncertain she could do much more without the help of the people who had been through this with her before. She was certain she could stop it, determined to, but after Tennessee she didn’t think she could do this alone. This shifter also seemed different to her than their first, it was only because of the patterns she recognised that Holly was even able to keep track of it at all – this one was being extremely careful. Still, none of these factors excused it from the fact that murders seemed to follow wherever it went – finishing it was the only option. And for that she needed Ralph with her, as he had been before. Holly paused her onslaught of information and turned back to them, glad they seemed to be following everything she said. When she asked if they were clear, both men nodded, causing Holly to smile… except she placed her hands together in front of her lips in thought; “If only there was some way to get inside the head of these things, then maybe we’d stand a better chance of catching one...” Ralph, who was still preoccupied with his own thoughts on Shapeshifters – for obviously he had many - raised his head slowly to her musings. Yune stood a little straighter where he was leaning against the desk and looked across to his companion – Ralph, feeling eyes on him, turned to Yune. “No-” “Ralph.” By the look on Yune’s face he wanted Ralph to at least listen to reason. For Ralph Anderson there wasn’t a reason on Earth he’d ever agree to such a senseless idea. “No. No we can’t-!” “She’s our best hope, maybe our only hope!” Yune at least had the decency to plead it. Ralph’s eyes only narrowed, and his voice was firm; “I never wanna see her again.” Holly looked between them, clearly confused, “What?” Yune glanced across to her, just as baffled, hardly believing that Ralph wouldn’t have imparted that information; “Didn’t he tell you?!” “I said we broke up.” Was the flat reply from Ralph, the detective folded his arms, looking like he’d rather talk about anything else. Holly blinked a few times, quickly catching on, “Y/N-!? She- she’s a...?!” Ralph Anderson didn’t let her finish the sentence, teeth gritted; “Don’t even say it.” Before turning his rising anger at having to be reminded on Yune: “We don’t even know where she is - I let her go!” Yune folded his arms and crossed his legs, leaning slightly away from his friend; “And you’re thinking it’ll be hard to look her up!? We have the database – we’ll find her!” Ralph glared back; “She’s a shapeshifter-! What if she changed!? That’s as easy as...” He stalled, looking away again, clearly not in the mood to talk about it anymore. Yune had attempted many times to get Ralph to impart what he’d seen in that field in vain; and although he never told, Yune knew whatever it was haunted him. Instead, Yune turned his attention back to Holly, “It would take maybe a day to figure out where she is... if we go pick her up, two tops... do we have time?” She nodded, that was the only shot any of them had to stop this thing. It wasn’t like before; they would need a shifter to catch a shifter. Holly looked back to Ralph, voice firm, not to be argued with; “We need her.” Ralph was still staring at nothing, and shook his head slowly; “I’m not going. I can’t go...”

*****

The pure ecstasy was almost stifling. So high you could barely breathe. Being with a shifter was always like this; humans always loved softer – probably because love actually factored into it. Human guise or not, there was nothing about your feelings for each other that had anything to do with how you would tangle together under sheets. An urge, an instinct, a call to be answered.

Shimmers of silver in the darkness as your eyes glowed with a refusal to burn out. Elongated talons and razor-sharp teeth left deep scratches across your back, immobilising, painful bites to your neck. Females were bigger and stronger, and for you not to do him any real damage he had to hold you down. But those needles sinking into your skin and drawing up rivers of ink from your veins only hit you with a further shot of pleasure. He wasn’t the same species as you – but he was damn close in his true form. You always preferred sex like this; humans had nerve endings in places your race didn’t – a form of pleasure you were unable to replicate unless you presented as one. Also, having been loved on by one for four consecutive years (who also knew damn well what he was doing), it was unsurprising that you’d not want to go back to anything remotely animalistic. Still – you were unable to stop yourself from crying out as your race would. It was by no means pretty; nowhere near the same as whispering someone’s name breathlessly as you held them tight, the trail of their lips down your neck. It sounded like it belonged in the far-off wilderness of some ancient jungle – where it used to be heard frequently. A call answered by his own; not filling a starry summer night sky, but now a bedroom in a modern house, in some town that could not be further away from where you had been born and grown up. How times change - How your race had always underestimated the advancement of humans. But even with the way you were pinned now; with your blood running from at least three separate places, stuck in some ancient ritual, a biological need engrained in your race since millennia before you were born – the man you were with was not the one you were thinking of. Your eyes were closed, and all that flooded your head was Ralph Anderson. You could feel the way he held you, running his hands over your skin and paying attention to every detail. As a detective he never missed anything – that adorable little smile before he asked you if everything was okay. The feel of him inside your body; making love to your slow, steady, breathing your name carelessly – a whisper across your skin as he planted tender kisses instead of bite marks. Although sometimes Ralph would graze his teeth, even on accident, and you would shudder in the memory of something a lot more like this. If you concentrated hard enough on your human, your partner blended into him – and it was Ralph you could feel all over your body – even this rough. And you couldn’t keep him out, you wouldn’t keep him out. It surprised you that somewhere along the line you hadn’t tipped your head back to call his name instead. You missed him, more than anything – you missed having this with him. Ralph could care about you the way a shapeshifter never could. This was good, but it wouldn’t last. You were the only shapeshifter who stayed in one place. It might take a little while, but your partner would move on. For now you sated each other’s appetite; familiar company that you could truly be yourself around. You didn’t have to control your body; your own claws and teeth sinking into him as you tightened your embrace: you were in charge, and he would move as and when you wanted him to. That taste on your tongue, not quite metallic the way human blood was: of salt and earth, ancient minerals lost to time and space that no human technology would ever recognise. Damaging your partner as such was just another part of the act – it was expected, and your partner knew that he was damn lucky you didn’t kill him. Younger ones would suffer worse with you – even killed accidentally from too many fractures, broken bones, blood loss… Not him; with a name of ancient origin you thought he could have been older than you – but from a different part of the world.

You squeezed your eyes shut again – on the edge of your, very human, climax. And Ralph was right back with you, the gentle sound of his voice coaxing you, hands laced with yours, how his kisses would swallow your groans as you struggled to hold back and the sweet way he would chuckle; ‘Baby… come on… just a little more… I got ya…’ Everything went cloudy for a moment, and Ralph flooded your senses heavier than before: it was his body and his weight, Ralph’s scent and his heartbeat flush with yours. His shiver as he unwound himself from that high that you couldn’t experience – not the way his human body would, but that fascinated you to watch, to feel. You withdrew your needle like teeth from the shoulder of your partner, running your tongue gently over the punctures to stop the flow of blood – you’d both heal quick. Another trait of your race. You slowed your breathing, silver eyes burning a little brighter, but Ralph’s ghost didn’t leave you this time. And before you knew it a single tear was sliding down your cheek. He didn’t see – this man would surely take his leave of you, even when you settled your head in the crook of his neck and pulled him closer, pretending this was anywhere near to what you had in Cherokee City. Yes, he’d leave – but Ralph Anderson never would. ***** Five Years Later… You raised your head from the morning paper – dumfounded. Once you’d got a good feel for people they were never really gone. Even if they’d never touched your soul – even if you’d never had their DNA flow through your veins, people still left a mark on you. This one you hadn’t felt in 5 years, and of all of them to turn up at your door, his wasn’t who you expected. You felt it long before his car pulled into the drive, but you let Yune Sablo step out of the vehicle before you opened your door, standing on the porch with your arms folded as he approached. There was a healthy silence between you as he kept his head bowed. Taking a deep breath before he raised his eyes to yours; there was a hard look on your face, it wasn’t welcoming. “What, is he too good to come and collect me himself!?” Yune immediately looked deflated, “You know I didn’t come here for Ralph.” You held your hand up, “No. Don’t – Don’t ruin it and say his name. What do you want?” “We need you.” Your arms folded and you ran your tongue over your bottom lip, eyebrows raised, “Uh huh.” “No really-!” Yune didn’t dare take even one step up your porch, he knew what you were. Even if he didn’t know what you were capable of, he’d seen enough from your fellow shapeshifters to not want to incur that from you – considering the displeasure on your face. “Y/N, there’s been a string of murders… Holly’s been putting it together and she came to Cherokee City for our help. But we need you.” “Holly?!” For a moment you seemed perplexed, your expression softened and Yune thought he might be able to sway you just by using her, but your eyes narrowed, “You told her?” “We had no choice. We need you. Don’t do it for him – do it for us. Do it for your race.” “Yune. It’s been 5 years, I’m DONE with Cherokee City. And I’m particularly done with its police department. What makes him think I want to see him again?” “I know it’s been 5 years. I think about that every day. That I could have prevented this, and if I’d just got to him quicker then he wouldn’t…” You let out a sigh, dropping your stance and relaxing, “Don’t beat yourself up over what Ralph Anderson did… I won’t let you do that to yourself. What do you need me for, you killed one before?” “Psychology. Getting inside its head. It’s trackable but… it’s careful. Much more careful than the last one.” You lowered your eyes, but nodded; “What makes you think I haven’t gone down that path myself? What makes you think I’m not gonna turn on all of you?” Yune shook his head; “I know you.” He did take that step, but hesitated as your eyes pierced his with an unnatural glimmer of silver. “If you care about us like I know you do, do it for us. Us.” He swallowed, “Y/N. You’re not a bad person. Or whatever you want to qualify yourself as. You can make a difference, and prove to us that you’re not all bad.” “I don’t have anything to prove.” This time when the silver shimmered to life it stayed, and Yune couldn’t tear his eyes away from it. He still had no idea what Ralph had done to you; he was starting to think maybe he should have pressed his friend before coming out here. You looked around at the other houses, suddenly glad that Yune was in his own car and not a marked one, “How did you find me anyway?” “Like I said, you’re a good person. You kept your name and you’re registered here. It’s not… too hard.” It wasn’t a warm smile by any means, but you flicked your head towards your front door – “Okay. Before I come with you, you best come inside – for one, I better pack.” Yune grinned, happy that you were seemingly accepting, that you would answer their plea: “And notify work, right!?” Once inside you packed quickly; not before making Yune a quick cup of coffee. Allowing him some time to unwind before he’d have to drive all the way back. As you packed, Yune sat with his coffee staring around your house. Minimalist. There were barely any photographs on walls, or pictures either. It hardly looked lived in; a shell of a house. Even the bathrooms held no trace of being used. But there was something else too, where there should have been a bathroom mirror, he was faced with nothing. And being inquisitive, Yune found that if the mirrors in this house were still in place, then they were turned around. He wondered if that was a question he could just ask. Yune supposed he wasn’t exactly sure what Shifter etiquette would be. You’d just have to tell him where that line was. Realising just how trapped you’d be with him in a car back to Cherokee City, you weren’t surprised that Yune wanted to try to get all his questions in. You didn’t seem reluctant; and he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about that. Because you weren’t exactly happy either. “So, how’ve you been? What have you been doing? There, uh, anyone you need to tell you’re leaving?” “Uh, I’m an analyst. It’s okay, it’s a job and I get paid… I like where I live. And no, I’m not attached, which is also fine… What else is there to say?” “I guess I expected you to be upset but… you’re here. You’re just, gonna come.” “I’ll be damned if I let Ralph Anderson make me bitter and twisted.” You smiled, “The street I live on is entirely couples. I surrounded myself with love – as I always do. Now that is truly the only way for my race to live. I thrive on that kind of love.” If you could call what you were doing right now ‘thriving’. “I could have lived on his, but we all know what happened there.” “Do you miss him?” There was silence for a long time, and your face was stoic as you mulled your answer over, before it fell, and you started to look upset: “It’s not just about missing him, Yune. He’s a part of me – they all are. And I’ll carry them all for the rest of my life, every strand of DNA I’ve ever replicated. But Ralph… I let him deeper than anyone. It’s easy to collect DNA and just go off and use it, but he… Do you have any idea what it’s like to look in a mirror and hate every fibre of what you are? It’s not just me he hates – it’s what I am! I can’t get away from that even if I do wear another face.” “That explains the mirrors.” He said it before he even realised, and quickly added an embarrassed “Sorry.” “No. You’re right. I can’t… stand myself. But I can’t stay out of this form for very long. So, I have to face it… but it’s not easy. Ralph Anderson is torture. But he helps.” “You – shift into Ralph!?” “He never told you what happened in that field did he?” “No.” “Figures.” But you offered no more on the subject, turning to the window, and Yune wouldn’t press you either: “I drive his car, I wear his clothes, I can face him in a mirror and I even keep track of what he's up to. When I remember. He’ll never get out of my head, and I’ll never get over him. That’s what I’m learning to live with. And now he’s dragging me back. Do I have a choice in facing this? You already know I don’t, Yune.” He reached out and gently patted your hand, “I’m sorry.” You whipped around quickly at the feel of his hand on yours, and he caught that silver again: “I’m not afraid of you, Y/N. And I’ll get you back soon I promise. I won’t let him hurt you.” You could only nod, and barely smile. You understood Yune’s sentiments; but what he was promising was impossible. Just seeing Ralph Anderson again would be more painful than anything you’d faced. You returned your gaze slowly to the scenery and took a deep breath. You weren’t about to tell Yune that you were nervous, thoughts chasing themselves around your head. You were already being torn up by the prospect of seeing him again, and the longer you had to stay in Cherokee City the more torn you’d become. Get in, solve the case, get out. And it being that quick was your only hope… ***

Ralph Anderson would probably never admit it to anyone, but what he was feeling towards you wasn’t far off what you were feeling for him. Ever since he’d gone home from the ‘agreement’ he hadn’t been sleeping well. This morning Yune had simply sent him a text to let him know he was on his way to collect you. You still bore the same name and face – and Ralph wasn’t sure how he’d react when he saw you. Last night had been the worst; wrecked with dreams good and bad, and all of them about you. The worst, and one that had been reoccurring since you left, was the field – playing out exactly the same, except sometimes he’d pull that trigger – sometimes you would attack him and leave him to die – and sometimes he’d be back in that cave in Tennessee, but it’d be you he was facing. You wouldn’t leave him, and he was anxious. What would happen when he did see you again – would he be just as fearful as he was facing you before? Or would it turn to anger and hatred? He wasn’t sure he wanted to show that side of himself to his friends. Which made Ralph ponder exactly what you might be telling Yune. There’s two sides to every story though, and surely Yune would understand mine… He was nervous to see you too – because something else he’d realised, in the past 5 years, was that he couldn’t hate you. Of course, Ralph did hate you, but only because he couldn’t love you. How was that possible, after all you’d done? With what you were. It was still early but he was sitting at his desk and sipping straight bourbon. He’d need it, Ralph knew that much. He opened the top draw and was faced with a picture of you; pulling the frame out he stared at your face, wishing he felt nothing and only stopping when his eyes started to smart. It had only been recently that he’d cleared traces of you from the house. Yune shouldn’t have been surprised at the mirrors in your home because the pictures in Ralph’s told the same story, turned around or face down until he finally rid his residence of them. Your clothes were all in bags in the garage, but he’d never quite got around to his promise of burning them all. Ralph had been on dates but, he’d never found anyone else. He just classed himself as emotionally unavailable. But never had much trouble blaming you for this. Maybe he was just waiting for something he couldn’t have – and maybe Ralph was waiting on miracles. Although he’d never mention that either. As he strolled into the department that morning, Holly observed him with worry. Of course she was already up bright and early. Ralph slumped down in his chair with a sigh; and looked more tired than she’d ever seen him. Holly made coffee and set it in front of him without even asking. She felt Ralph probably needed more than that, but wasn’t about to encourage drinking when she needed them to focus. “You look like you didn’t sleep much.” “Yeah, well. It’s a big day, I’m not the best sleeper as it is these days.” She at least looked sympathetic as he gazed up at her to thank her for the coffee. “Are you ready for this?” Ralph nodded a few times slowly, before it quickly turned into a head shake; “I’ve never been more unprepared in my life.”

*** Ralph’s adrenaline and heartbeat spiked the second he heard your voice – but he could control it. Your sentences were cut and single words to answer Yune’s questions – but not unfriendly. The unmistakable sound of your footfall had him looking up as you both walked into the room. You stopped dead as your eyes caught his – as did your talking. You hadn’t changed one bit, you looked like you hadn’t even aged a day – frozen in time, just like the pictures, and memories that filled Ralph’s mind. Somehow that made everything hurt just that little bit more. Yune and Holly stood around like awkward third wheels; but, certainly aware of the hostile tension that had just engulfed the room. Your face didn’t really convey a lot of emotion, but your glare was heavy and it made Ralph shift uncomfortably in his seat. That movement undid all his hard work of keeping it together, and although he was still holding your gaze, he suddenly looked pathetic and guilty. It didn’t make you feel anything: As he should. You turned away from him, to Holly. “I believe you need me for your investigation.” Ralph immediately shuddered at the sound of your voice and found it hard not to vocalise something, even when you weren’t talking to him. “You want to get inside the mind of a shifter, you’ve got one. I will caution you before we begin, we aren’t all the same. So, lay it on me – what you want to know AND already know. Yune said there was a pattern, maybe I can determine what type this shifter is from that…” You took a breath, unable to keep yourself from smiling at her, “It’s good to see you again, Holly. Thank you for believing in me.” And Ralph knew that was an immediate shot at him. Holly instantly beamed, and the tension in the room dissipated, because you weren’t expecting it. The third human in the room was forgotten for a moment, and you let your icy façade melt. These two hadn’t done anything to you, at least not yet, so you had to behave amicably to prove a point. Not that you wouldn’t have – but in the presence of people who knew what you were, you at least knew you had to be careful. “It’s good to see you too, Y/N. I have to say this revelation is at least a little fascinating.” “Well… Anything I can do to prove we aren’t all like him. This seems to be getting a little ridiculous.” “You’re not wrong…” But she kept smiling as she studied you, “I mean, they’ve told me what they know…” she indicated to Ralph and Yune. “And you don’t appear to be like he was – you don’t shed, is that correct? You… uh… shimmer?” Your eyes gravitated to her coffee cup, “I can show you. If you want. The problem is your last one was a baby. If you start coming up against those much older it’ll just get harder. The patterns this one is leaving could just be a flashy show of confidence. Not mistakes.” “Show us?” Ralph shifted anxiously and you could feel his unease, turning your eyes on him: “You already know I can do you, what’s the point in that?” You indicated to Holly’s coffee cup, “If you’re finished with that… I can…” She tipped her head in thought, then decided to nod and handed it over, continuing her questioning as you inspected the rim of the cup. “You don’t need my blood?” “That’s the easiest way, and how we start off – then we graduate. Any form of DNA works fine and it doesn’t need to be consumed. But again, that depends how old you are.” You stopped twisting the cup and glanced back to Holly, “You’re SURE you want me to do this? I can’t get inside your head, I promise that. But I will feel your emotion.” She nodded, but questioned again, “What is that like?” “For me…” You gave a shrug, lifting the cup to your lips and running your tongue across the edge, “It’s all I know.” You placed it down and waited patiently for the DNA to code itself into you – “This’ll take a second-. But you put me in a café and you leave your cup behind. Bam. I have you on file for the rest of my life. Some would rather their long string of love affairs; one-night stands or kisses its all the same, some just like the taste of blood. I think the less interaction the better, personally.” You stretched, “You sure you’re ready for this?” Holly nodded, but you knew all of them were immediately more tense as you took a breath and shimmered – Ralph couldn’t help but be transfixed to watched the way your eyes lit that haunting silver as your body once more seemed to wash with pixels, before Holly stood face to face with herself. You blinked a few times, eyes still shining. “Sorry.” Holly and Yune jumped at her voice from your mouth, “The eyes always take a little longer than anything else.” “And you can just change back?!” “Mhm.” You gave a nod, “Give me a few minutes, it’s like going through a hard reset.” “Why are there so many different species? I mean he wasn’t like you… I met another and he wasn’t like you either…” “Evolution. We do the same thing in different ways. Species and genus, I guess. But practice. He took a month to change, it used to take me longer to change. I had to go through a middle step of reverting back to true form to switch humans. It’s not the most intuitive thing.” “True form?” “I said to Ralph before…” You paused for a minute as your DNA began to even out over Holly’s, “I’m much more traditionally monster than human. Think… animal, not… person. In fact, we’d fit a lot better in your animal kingdom than we would the way you live. Excuse me.” You held your hand up and shifted yourself back, “See. It’s THAT simple.” Holly tilted her head; “Could… you elaborate?” “Sure. I’m Quadrupedal, little bit more front heavy. Sharp teeth like needles, claws… I’m used to four digits. If we did stand up… maybe 8ft tall, probably bigger. Females are the larger of the species. You seem to be getting lucky on that front. Males don’t tend to survive the mating process – think spiders.” “I’m starting to think it’s a good thing you look human.” Yune sounded more than a little faint. “Yeah well, humans went and hunted us down – so we had to adapt.” You nodded to Holly’s board, “What do you think you have? One like me? Worse?” “WORSE!?” Yune looked across to you. “Hun, I am by no means the oldest of my kind. There are worse out there than the type I am. There’s a kind that never evolved – think parasitic worms.” “W-WHAT!?” You smirked, “Yeah. Way worse. That’d kill me easy.” You shot Ralph a look, “Detective, sitting there thinking ‘shame’ isn’t exactly helpful.” Ralph looked perplexed for a minute, deer in headlights. “Just because I can’t hear your thoughts, doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re thinking.” You sat back on the desk as Holly went through her discoveries and you started to try to piece together the person she was describing. Which type they could be. You could already offer suggestions: it was a strange set of patterns, and there were things they weren’t seeing because they weren’t shapeshifters. You liked that at least two people in the room seemed receptive and thankful for your presence on this. Holly brought up her video footage after that – the suspects looked slightly different in each but they all had the same movements, the same way of doing things. They weren’t trying to blend into the people they were copying, simply use them as a disguise. You were impressed she’d managed to get so far on body language. Yet there was something familiar about it that concerned you. Just how many of your kind had you been around in your life? Too many to recall and yet each one, just like the DNA you all collected, imprinted into your memory in a different way. This one was in your bank somewhere. It wasn’t what you wanted to realise. That unease certainly didn’t end as Holly continued to pull up pictures; and suddenly you became too alert, straightening and stiffening on the desk your nails gripped the table, eyes wide in shock. He’s not hiding anymore… Holly read this immediately; “You know him… don’t you?” You swallowed hard, realising all eyes were now on you. You did, of course you did. And he wasn’t someone you had to comb through your memories to find – he was right there; the man had just left you. “Better than I would care to say…” you nodded to her screen, “He’s not hiding. That’s his face. The equivalent of what I chose to present to you.” Then you shook your head, “SHIT!” After what you’d been through for nearly three years? Now you find this out?! It shouldn’t have bothered you, loving and leaving was what your race did. But this was worse than that. Ralph could read you like a book, and found that his jealousy and pain were blending together; “Oh, it hurts doesn’t it? When you find out the person you’re with isn’t what they seem.” You didn’t miss a beat: “What, don’t like what you see in the mirror?” Once again your detective didn’t have a comeback. “How recently?” “He left me 3 years ago. That’s nothing new, that’s how it works.” “What works?” You hesitated, but opted to continue: “Well, any ‘relationship’ really. We don’t… mate for life.” It was like air had just left the room, and you didn’t dare look at Ralph Anderson’s face. All you would see was anger and betrayal. “We were together a surprisingly long while, I suppose our cycles can be sensed. 27 years is a long time to wait for something like that.” Holly blinked a few times; “I didn’t think you could have… children. Every 27 years?” “Nothing to us. But I can assure you, we have children. At least my branch of our race can.” “So... you’re not sterile?” “Anything in your hospitals, honey, would say I was, even during the cycle. Males don’t have cycles but would still show as sterile in your readings.” “How many do you have?” Well, you’d come this far… “Alive? I can’t tell you. 17 total.” Ralph did the quick calculation in his head. That made you 435 years old, minimum. On the assumption that every 27 years you did in fact bare children. And you looked like only the last 2 numbers of that. But it was bothering him; “How – how can you not know how many are alive!? You only just had one.” You sighed, turning to him – sure enough he was the spitting image of the man who’d pointed a gun at your head. Only now Ralph just looked like he wished he’d pulled the trigger. “What part of monster, or, animal don’t you understand?? We’re not humans, we present as human. There’s no 18 years and close relationships, Ralph. Once they’re ready to leave, they leave. When a bird can fly it leaves the nest. It’s exactly the same – you’re thinking too much about my body not my genetics.” Why was he still so pissed about the whole kids thing, anyway? Why did Ralph care either way about you and your race? You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes; “As you keep pointing out – Ralph Anderson – I’m not human.” You turned back to Holly, “His name is Aldric. And we have a problem here, his race is like mine – maybe a little worse and certainly faster. I might be bigger, but I’m almost certain he’s older than me.” Ralph scowled from his chair, folding his arms and crossing his legs: “Fucking perfect.” They continued their rounds of questions and you remained to help them work through patterns you could see that they couldn’t. But every time you saw Aldric’s face it jarred you – mating wasn’t the problem, that was a call you had to answer if possible. If their first shifter had been around you’d have still answered it; it was the fact that it had been a relationship, of sorts, first. And you didn’t form friendships with Shifters that did things like this – dead against killing for what it had cost your race in the past. Aldric had passed all your tests, a genuinely upstanding guy – you hadn’t sensed that he was hiding anything – so what had happened? It wasn’t a question you could answer, but one that you desperately needed to know. Nothing like having a second personal stake in all this… Having said that, every time Ralph said something pointed or facetious, you only ever responded cold and emotionlessly; shutting him down at every turn. You weren’t going to let him sit there pretending he was in the clear on this one. You were around the point of calling it quits, when they were all explaining to you where he’d been seen most recently. Currently it didn’t look like he was moving from that city – they all theorised that Aldric was choosing his next victim before he moved on. You couldn’t help but agree, even though you didn’t want to. The next few days would be vital. Although as they continued talking about next steps, you tipped your head and lost yourself in another thought. Was this going to involve killing Aldric? Was that what you wanted? Was it the only way? Could he be brought to justice… could a monster like you ever be brought to that kind of justice? Instead you voiced your question quietly; “Don’t you guys think you’re going to need a lawyer when this blows up?” They turned to each other, and it was obvious that none of them had considered a situation that didn’t end with a body. Yune frowned: “Well there’s always the DA?” Ralph immediately scoffed, “The DA is useless, I still don’t get how he won the election. I don’t trust him with half my shit.” “…Then who!?” Yune was clearly going to keep your spirits up, yet you weren’t under any illusions. Instead you got a bright idea of your own, Hayes: “I know just the guy.” Then it really was late, and you did all have to call it a night. Ralph was the first one to stand, and looked to you, “Well, you can come stay with me.” You looked at him like he was insane, and then laughed, “I’d rather sleep in the car. Or in a jail cell here, than go home with you.” That clearly stung, Ralph wasn’t expecting it. But you had enough doubts about this detective not to take him up on it. You didn’t want to be in that house, and certainly not with him. Ralph was making his feelings for you quite obvious and if the last five years had changed his stance, he might truly kill you this time. To stop the silence from being any more awkward, Yune stepped in, “It’s okay – you can stay with me. It’ll be fine.” “Oh…” You weren’t sure you expected that, “Thank you.” He nodded his ‘you’re welcome’, “If you’re ready we can go. Be back here bright and early.” You all said your goodbyes, but you paused at the door; “OH! Can I take the map? It might take me all night, but I’ll figure out where he’s likely hiding. Shifters are nothing if not habitual…” “Sure! Thank you, Y/N!” Holly once again beamed as you rolled the map up and smiled back, “No problem. Mutual goals and all that right?” “Mhm, Goodnight Y/N! Don’t stay up too late.” “I’ll try-!” You grinned, “Goodnight, Holly.” The obviousness of you not even acknowledging Ralph, let alone wishing him a goodnight, was not lost on him – you still didn’t care. With the map tucked under your arm, you followed Yune out to the elevators. “You still love her, don’t you?” Ralph’s eyes flicked to Holly, then back to your receding frame – talking to Yune, you seemed so much happier out of this room. Out of Ralph’s presence. The detective chewed his lip, deciding to let his expression answer for him. ***

After staying up most of the night pouring over the map and your laptop, you had a fair idea of where Aldric could be. After all, you knew him, right? At least you thought you did. You were starting to think that the revelations of your ex-partners were becoming a little too much. You left Yune’s house early – just about catching him as you were taking off out the door. Upon asking where you were going, and you announcing you were about to drag the ex-DA into this, he laughed. “Need a lift?” “No. I could use the walk.” “You know where you’re going?” “Mhm. I did the research; I’ll meet you all back at the precinct. Hopefully lawyer in tow.” “Alright, see you soon Y/N… OH!” You turned back at his gentle tug on your sleeve, “It’s good to see you again. I don’t know if I said yet. It’s just real good to have you back.” You let yourself beam, “Thanks Yune… I needed that.” The sign read K.W.S.Hayes and Partners – KWS? Well okay, Mr. Two-Middle-Names. You laughed to yourself as you walked through the front door. You were glad everything was still quiet; you could avoid a lot of people you knew and awkward questions that way. You didn’t even need an appointment. Well, not that you’d let someone who barely looked out of her twenties stop you, with your “I’m an old friend.” Kenneth Hayes jumped, and this time his papers did scatter everywhere. You watched them float to the floor, only wishing it was five years earlier, before your eyes met his again and you closed his door. “How the HELL did you-” “Old friends tends to get me places.” “Jesus, who let you back into Cherokee City?!” “I’m not in your office to do anything but get you on this case.” He hesitated, “What case?” “Surprise, surprise, there’s another of me out there and your PD want my help.” There was too long a pause and you knew that he was only pretending to be disinterested, “No thanks, isn’t that a DA role?” You folded your arms, “They left you in the dark last time. I won’t let them do it again. Besides, I hear the current DA isn’t so hot and I KNOW a good lawyer when I see one.” He squinted at you for a moment, then scoffed, very nearly disgusted. “Find someone else.” “Don’t misunderstand me, Hayes.” You took a step, eyes flashing. “I don’t just want you on this case, they need you on this case. And if I have to drag you across town to the PD kicking and screaming… well…” You indicated to yourself, knowing that would explain enough. Hayes swallowed, accepting his fate, “When do we start?” You smirked, “Oh baby, the fun has already begun!” As you might expect, and they probably expected to from their previous experience, there was a good network of caves on both sides of the city and scores of abandoned buildings grouped together - from what you’d been able to gather, also fairly overgrown. “But he’s older than you.” “It’s habitual.” At this point you were getting sick of Ralph questioning everything that came out of your mouth, and were sure the other three (now Hayes was up to speed) were sitting there internally groaning ‘ohhh my god, will you two quit it! We got a case to work on.’ “It’s not about the hiding to change, although it may be to do with not wanting to be disturbed. It’s about dragging your prey somewhere quiet. It’s about remaining inconspicuous and in the shadows. None of us grew up in cities and towns, the world simply changed around us. Places like naturally occurring caves are like our ancestral homes.” You tapped the map, “Abandoned shells of buildings are an alright substitute. We all adapted to this sure, but he’s actively killing – and that’s an instinct we evolved with. He’s thinking home. I know it.” You placed your balled fist against your mouth for a moment allowing for a pause for thought; “I can’t get you closer unless we’re actually there, but, once we are it’ll be more accurate. And I can pinpoint exactly where he’s staying – especially considering our history.” “Can he sense… you?” “Possibly. But I doubt he’d think twice about it. He wouldn’t know why I’m there…” Suddenly you found yourself getting disheartened: “I just don’t get it. It’s been the first time in a long while I’ve seen so many of us. Holly you’ve seen three, well four, of us now. How am I’m the only good one? It was never like this. They shouldn’t be the rule.” The silver shine on your eyes was dull as they smarted, and Yune put his hand over yours; “Maybe it’s because you’re the only one left alive old enough to remember the times when you weren’t oppressed. You said it yourself, you don’t know how old he is. Maybe everyone else has heard these stories and wants revenge. Wants to feed on our pain and suffering, because humans caused your entire race pain.” “But how can they not realise that LOVE... love is...” Holly reached for your other hand, understanding what Yune was trying to do; if they lost your help to delusion they would never get anywhere: “But you experienced that. Who’s to say they ever did?” Try as Holly might she was unable to keep her glance off Ralph, who gave Holly a similarly worried look. “But how can they not tell the difference?” “Closed off to it? Maybe they don’t recognise it... maybe pain is so strong that the sustainability of love is not worth it... it doesn’t register.” You took your hands back, not allowing a sob, but rubbing the tears away before they could flow down your cheeks. Too many people were suffering – you had all suffered too but, humans didn’t need to bear the sins of their ancestors. Was there no way to live in harmony? You found yourself crying, not only for your race, but for everyone who had to grieve because of it.

*** You all gave yourselves an hour to get ready, not that you weren’t already living out of a bag. The original idea was the four of you went down and confronted him, as they had done in Tennessee. That this time they’d keep Hayes completely in the loop. The lawyer was already clearly invested, which made you happy, as he shook his head: “I didn’t get involved last time on your decision. I’d quite like to be included this time on my own terms. I can see it through – then I’ll avoid any strange stories floating my way.” He was clearly referring to that Jack Hoskins lie, he nodded to you, “Besides. I trust her.” Your eyebrows raised at this but you bowed your head in thanks. 3 down, 1 to go. Of course he would be the most difficult. Yune let you sit quietly alone as he packed and before you knew it you were standing back in the precinct deciding on whose car was being taken. The final decision landed on Ralph’s and Yune’s, so you split your things and yourselves between the two cars. Obviously, the idea was to keep you and Ralph separate. He wasn’t so happy about that decision and ended up overruling everyone by force; arm out to pin you back against his car. “What are you-” “Nope.” “Ralph!” “They might trust you, but I certainly don’t. You’re coming with me.” His voice was low and left you glaring at him again, he nodded Holly towards Yune’s car but she was hesitant. You took a breath and moved her on instead. “It’s okay Holly, I’ll be okay.” She clearly wasn’t having that, and as Ralph kept you pinned there, you watched her whisper urgently to Yune; you could imagine that she wanted to make sure this car was in sight of theirs the whole time. You drew your eyes away from them and back to your ex-partner, “What, so you can finish what you started?” “Don’t flatter yourself. I swear to God, you even THINK of hurting them.” “Don’t you think I would have done it before now? What is wrong with you?! How can he change your opinion of me so easily?” “You lied to me!” “And you threatened to shoot me twice. You said it yourself Ralph, if you didn’t love me I’d be dead, so you can stop acting like I’M the threat here.” It was strange to be so close to him again, his DNA used to be a part of your everyday existence. By shifting into him so often – and being comfortable there – you’d kept that true. But now he was back this close to you, your body was giving you many different reactions. It was as repulsed by him as it wanted to pull him into you and never let him go. The confusion was not helping you keep control and you knew that silver was burning again by the way distress momentarily flickered over his features. Somehow the car ride wasn’t as tense as you imagined. You supposed there was so much you really had to say to each other, considering the passage of time. Yet neither of you knew how or where to begin; and both of you were guilty of something. For a long time there was silence, before Ralph took a calm breath and broke it. “Why did you come back?” You eyed him curiously, “You needed me. I assumed if you let Yune turn up on my doorstep at all, you were fine with it. I want to stop this as much as you do, even if you don’t believe that.” “You understand why I have trust issues with you, right?” “I think you must understand the same.” Ralph nodded: “As long as we’re on the same page.” There was another pause before he started again, “Five years is a long time to still hate someone.” “I don’t hate you, and I’m certainly not scared of you, but if you touch me I’m gonna throw a fit.” He nodded to the car in front, “Don’t think I haven’t seen Yune checking his mirrors every five seconds and the way Hayes always turns around. They’re watching out for ya.” You lowered your eyes to the floor, and spoke quieter, “I am not to blame for the sins of my race. I wish you’d been able to see past that. But every time you look at me, all I can see is how you feel about them. I’m the rule, Ralph. We’ve never been like this... I guess we’re all just angry.” “All. Including you.” “Understanding, of why humans rose up. We’re not Gods – even if we acted like it. Stories passed through generations; those so twisted by what happened. I get that – it hurt, to be hunted that way. But murdering humans doesn’t help anything. And killing you all now? Children with bad tempers don’t represent my race. And yet will become the poster children.” Ralph shifted in his seat, about as uncomfortably as you might expect, before turning his eyes on you. There really wasn’t a lot you had to ask, he understood what you were getting at. You turned away from him, rubbing your hands together, before moving the same motion to your wrists. It was too painful for him to think of you in handcuffs, so he took another breath and smiled. He was beginning to think that you were as wrong as you were right; no, you weren’t like them, but Ralph considered that you were the exception these days, not the rule. It was unfortunate that the group had dealt with so many bad ones. He was warming to you; it was going to take some time, but he knew he was. He wanted so badly to reach for you and tell you that. But he knew he couldn’t, Ralph Anderson swallowed fixing his eyes back on the road and the car in front just as Yune eyed him again. They didn’t trust him with you either and he had more than proved they had grounds. You should have known that the amicable atmosphere between you wouldn’t last. Your question was innocent enough, he knew you had ‘moved on’ – if that was even a thing your race did; you’d at least have classed yourself in something akin to a relationship with Aldric. He was the father of one of your children after all – but Ralph had kept quiet about his own love life. It’d been five whole years – he might have been older, but that didn’t mean you didn’t know how women looked at him; and with that face? You couldn’t blame them. “Are you single?” He blinked before he answered, slowly, “Yes.” “Huh.” Your mouth became a thin line, nearly a frown, “I’m surprised, I thought it’d be easy for you to move on. Surely all the girls are killing to date you now? Have you been with anyone?” Maybe he had and it hadn’t lasted – it’d been a long time. You were met with immediate hostility: “Well how can I trust anyone is who they say they are after you?!” Feeling that was pretty uncalled for, you shot back, “Don’t blame me for YOUR feelings. You know all the tells. You should have just gone ahead and dated!” Ralph glared at you, it was icy and threatening, causing you to back up against the car door; “Yeah well, I didn’t, did I? I didn’t just go off and fuck someone else. And have kids.” Your eyebrows knitted together in anger, “Screw you Ralph Anderson. You’re the one who said you never wanted to see me again. And I TOLD you, we can’t have children. What is your obsession with that-?! I’m surprised not to find you married with kids the amount you go on about it!!” “Well I’m not, am I?! I don’t just get to choose to do something like that! I accepted we couldn’t have kids, but that’s all bullshit anyway! All you ever did was lie!” “Don’t you put this on me!” You slammed your hand on the dashboard, turning your body fully to him; “WHY DOES IT ALWAYS COME BACK TO THIS, WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN’T CARE!!” “Because you can have them!” “Once every 27 years Ralph! And you can’t treat them like human children. They would never stay. You can’t bend them to that, and they wouldn’t be… yours.” “I dunno, surrogacy? Adoption? We never even talked about it.” “Why didn’t you bring that up!? How easy do you think that would be? I don’t… die like you do. I’d live my life with you, and then when you passed on, I’d take a few years and disappear. And then start over. But there’s never going to be another you Ralph. They always warned me about humans, and they were right. But you were worth every fucking second until you tore it all up." “Are you saying this is MY fucking fault!? If you’re at least over 400 then how the hell did you ever think we’d work out?!” “I’d age up with you. It’s easy. Ralph, you never would have noticed. Without him all my little tells are ticks and tricks of the light.” “You bleed blue!” “Well that still took you four years and killing one of us.” Then you remembered, “Fuck, you nicked me, didn’t you? To check that I really was…” You placed your hands over your eyes, groaning, “Why didn’t you just ask?! You could have just asked. And calmly told me to get out… instead you pointed a gun to my head and threw me in a jail cell.” “Y/N-” “No. No.” You protested, “I’m fucking DONE Ralph. Don’t touch me, don’t even talk to me.” You rolled your body away from him and curled yourself up as best you could in the seat, closing your eyes. Hopefully sleep would come quick and would last the rest of the car ride. Hopefully it wouldn’t be plagued with bad dreams… You wouldn’t say that your dreaming was bad, just that your dreams were more content to feed you memories… This one of Aldric, of course. You understood why, perhaps most obviously because you couldn’t wrap your head around his sudden change. Aldric knew all about Ralph Anderson, you were only too happy to share your experiences with someone who understood them. Yet it wasn’t just because you’d told him, but because of your tendency to shift into Ralph: just to hear his voice, or see his face (albeit in a mirror), because you felt safe and comfortable in a body so familiar to you. Ralph looked – and was – a 6ft-odd tall, sure of himself man; no one was going to bother you when you were Ralph Anderson. It was a face Aldric got used to, but saw less and less of the longer he stayed. He counted that as progress, with his best smile. Aldric knew you still had bad days, where you’d lie on the bed and all the mirrors would turn around – humans had scarred you deep, and he didn’t like that much. Unlike everyone else, who would get angry and do something about it, you’d become a little more withdrawn; a mix of heart-break and self-hatred. He’d asked a thousand times ‘why always him’ and it wasn’t a question you could answer. ‘Why someone who caused you so much damage?’ The simple answer wasn’t one you could say out loud: that DNA coded into you was all you had left of him. The long answer would require you spilling to him all your feelings and details of your relationship that were yours to know – and would go unspoken to your grave. The best you could do was shrug; “Because I loved him. He’s just… familiar.” That was a lie too, there was no loved past tense about it. Even if Ralph had uttered that word himself. Aldric took your hand in his, with a gentle sigh: “Isn’t it amazing, over millions of years of our own race’s evolution and countless lifetimes, just how much one man has fucked you up? You’re hung up on one human and four years… in all that you’ve lived. Y/N… I’m just sorry he did this. Though as if it isn’t something typically human.” He took a breath, gathering your body to his and stroking your hair; “Well. I’m here, for now… and I won’t let them hurt you again.” Aldric was always so nice and gentle with you and just as lovely to the humans you lived around – he never talked about having problems with them, so you doubted it was all a façade. It didn’t make any sense. How can THIS man now be murdering people…!? *** Ralph wasn’t the one who woke you up when you got to your destination, Hayes was. If he was trying to make up for anything, you would call him out on it – but he wasn’t. He was just trying to be a good man – whilst simultaneously checking that his friend was treating you right. You appreciated that they were worried, they didn’t have to care about you. Only that you’d help them solve this – and you would despite Ralph’s treatment of you. Or, in spite of it. In fact they always kept at least a body between you and Ralph, and you wondered exactly who they were protecting; him or you.

It was late, but you had to strategize and figure out where he was. It wasn’t hard for you, Aldric was everywhere, so whilst the other three were trying to figure out the best and fastest way to hit him, Hayes drove you aimlessly around town. “Where you think he’ll be?” “He’s not in town – but it’s a recent move. I’m certain he based himself here.” “Will he be able to sense you?” “We’ll need a miracle…. My reason for being here could be anything. It’s the rest of you I’m worried about.” You were lying down in the back seat, trying to focus on the signals you could feel and almost taste in the air. That familiarity hurt now as much as Ralph’s did… You pushed your detective back for a minute, why won’t you stay in your godamn lane!, as Hayes took his rings around town further and further out, until you sat bolt upright. “STOP.” You were immediately on edge, too close and too soon. Like your head was spinning. “Woah, you okay!?” Hayes turned in his seat and it was plain to see the tension in your face and body, “Y/N? Is he here!?” You pointed to the map; “Are we leading anywhere?” “Uh…” He picked it up, “Yeah, there’s like an outcropping here…” Hayes jabbed it, “It looks like mountains though, and we are slightly inclining.” He handed it to you and you studied the map hard for a moment, before you traced your finger along what looked like a mountain ridge to one small black dot. “Here.” You turned to the lawyer and for once he didn’t even flinch as your eyes flickered bright silver – was that fear? “Do you have a pen?” “Yeah-!” Of course Hayes had one in his pocket, you put a ring around it and turned to him pushing the map into his chest. “He’s there.” *** Holly was the one in the car with you today, and she took your hand in hers. “You okay?” “No.” You had to be honest and she smiled, squeezing your hand, “Oh, sweetheart… This must be harder for you than anything else.” “What if I’ve always been wrong about my race?” You chewed the inside of your lip. “You’re better than we are, Y/N. Whether you’re the exception or the rule shouldn’t matter, should it, but how good you are. And after what you’ve seen from this particular community… that’s enough to twist anyone up. Yet here you are, still you.” You turned slowly to her, and couldn’t help but smile: “I could say the same for you.” She laughed, “I guess we both understand each other.” “An outsider knows an outsider.” You repeated a phrase of hers that had burned in you then, it held no less significance now. Holly squeezed your hand once more as you seemed to approach the cave entrance – your breath caught again and you tried not to let Aldric flood back: focusing just on Holly and smiling through it, “You got that right!” You slid out of the car with her, watching the guys all gear up just as fast. They would have to work quick and quiet if they were ever going to make it through this alive. You were glad everyone was wearing long sleeves: no one was taking chances. You nearly scoffed as you watched Hayes holster a pistol: “You know how to use that?” “I’m from Georgia, sweetie. Yeah, I do.” You laughed as if that had any merit to it, and Holly cleared her throat, holding a pistol out for you. You raised an eyebrow and grinned, shaking your head; “Honey, all my weapons are in built. I don’t need that.” Yune also sidled over, “And none of us want to see that in action.” “Pray you won’t need to.” “How is he?” “Quiet. If Aldric’s expecting anything he’s not tense, or angry, or frightened. I wouldn’t count on the element of surprise, just assume that he knows.” Ralph seemed to be taking an awful long time about this, and your eyes narrowed at his back, causing the others to turn to him. “Ralph?!” “Yeah, I- you guys go – We’ll bring up the rear.” “We?” “Yeah.” He pointed at you, “We. I want you at the back where I can see you.” “Why?” Although you knew it was a stupid question as soon as you said it and his face darkened, “Okay. Okay, we’ll do this your way.” Although you were loath to point out that if he was scared you were about to team up with Aldric, putting you at the back left the four of them trapped in the middle. It was more likely so Ralph could keep a gun trained on you at all times. You turned to the rest of them, “You guys go. Be careful, maybe two groups would be better, don’t do anything stupid.” They almost couldn’t believe you were agreeing with this, but nodded along – anything so as not to cause a huge argument right in the middle of the operation. They weren’t walking so fast though, clearly not wanting to completely split the group, you assumed that they would wait for you just inside the entrance. You crossed to him: “Is there gonna be a problem with you and me?” “No.” “Ralph you don’t have to lie to me.” “I told you, they might trust you, but I don’t. That’s all there is to it.” You leant against the car, looking dead in his eyes, “How do I know I can trust you?” “You don’t.” And he proved it; all too late did you realise that he’d been ready all along, and before you could stop him, your wrist was cuffed to the door handle. “RALPH!!!” “Shut up, or I really will finish what I started in that field.” He growled, hand over your mouth as you struggled. “You son of a BITCH-! They will DIE without me! What are you doing-!?” “We survived before, sweetheart.” His smile wasn’t friendly, so the pet name wasn’t either, “I don’t trust what you’ll do when you see him, I don’t trust you around him, or us. And I won’t see good people die again on account of YOUR race.” “Are you kidding?! I thought we were getting somewhere, but here come your true fucking colours again!” You pulled against the handcuffs, “Ralph! Let me go!” “No. You’re gonna stay here until we get back. And if we don’t get back, you’re gonna die here.” “What the fuck is your problem!?” He raised an eyebrow, and you realised it was another stupid question. “RALPH!” but he turned and started walking, “Shit! RALPH!!!” You tugged again, foot up against the car, to no avail and the cuff dug in. You rolled your sleeve back, wrist already showing a friction line. “You fucking asshole!” You turned back to watch him walk into the distance, “Are you SO stupid as to kill everyone on account of me-!?” When Ralph reached the group of three waiting just inside the caves, they all peered around for you and simultaneously took a deep breath to give him hell. He held a finger to his lips – knowing that what was waiting for them was far more dangerous. They didn’t need to announce their arrival any more than necessary. “I don’t trust her. Would you? We’ve seen what one of them can do, you think we can handle two of them? I don’t think we can risk it.” And the look on Ralph’s face said no protesting. “Where is she?!” Yune hissed, surprisingly looking the most pissed. Considering he’d tried to do right by you twice before Ralph had decided to screw it up. “Safe. But most certainly in handcuffs, now are we moving or what?!” They all looked to each other before begrudgingly moving on into the caves together, but Yune paused before he allowed Ralph to go any further. “You’re a fucking idiot. You know that?” “I’m doing this for the good of everyone.” Yune rolled his eyes, and muttered something in Spanish that Ralph assumed wasn’t good. “You ever think about her?! Even once?” Ralph gave him a look that shut the conversation down completely. But it couldn’t have juxtaposed the situation more; and his outward attitude was fooling everyone nicely. Of course he had; he was doing it to protect you. *** Focusing on them and their wellbeing became increasingly hard for three reasons. Ralph and your bond wasn’t the strongest, even though you had his DNA in your vein’s – as the group of four traversed deeper you started to lose him. Aldric’s own feelings were giving you unease – pretty sure that he knew you were here, if he hadn’t already he’d become aware of the presence of four human’s soon; without you protecting them you were sure it would become a massacre. And finally, you were trying to concentrate on breaking the cuffs – or the car door, whichever buckled first. Preferably the cuffs though, because hopefully you’d get to drive out of this. You had more strength than a human in you, but all that was helping with was the metal digging deep into your skin; ink blue already ran from your wrist and spotted all over the ground. If you did all die here forensics would have a field day with that. The change happened instantaneously. Aldric’s calm aura became hostile, forcing you to gasp and wheel back to the cave entrance: Guys! Why didn’t Ralph think about this? Aldric was leaving a string of murders, did they really think he would care about 4 bodies in the middle of nowhere. What about your presence; this wasn’t going to end well no matter what way you looked at it. And Ralph - Aldric knew everything about Ralph, if he attacked them your detective would be shown no mercy. You turned back to your handcuffs; “SHIT!” crying in both frustration and the pain of the cut. There was no other way to save them but by shifting completely; reverting back into the real monster they thought you were. To save them you would do anything. To save him- You closed your eyes and breathed deep, inhale, exhale; your eyes reopened to blurred and burning silver reflected back at you, human skin dissipating into something rougher and grey; elongated fingers splicing from five to four digits – this was the first time DNA separation had caused you to feel so dysmorphic. You knew the look you’d see on his face; if he rejected you now…well, hadn’t Ralph already? The metal snapped without you needing to pull as your wrists expanded – body filling out to complete mass. You stepped back, hands down; quadrupedal, and turned towards the cave entrance, sure of yourself enough to sprint towards it. They needed you NOW – or they weren’t leaving this alive. ***

Four beams of light swept in concentric patterns across the floor, walls and ceiling of the cave. It seemed darker and colder than the one they’d confronted the Outsider in. But pretty – patterns in rock cut and smoothed from millenniums of ancient water ways – the paths weren’t narrow though; it didn’t feel half as claustrophobic. There must have been openings they couldn’t see, as the air smelled clean and fresh, and every so often a soft draft would catch them from the depths of the cave. The majority of the time the four remained quiet; and Ralph assured himself that every time one of them shivered it was the cold – and not fear that he was sure all felt. The occasional verbal communication was to check everyone was close; and to agree on which direction to take – it wasn’t hard, Aldric wasn’t trying to cover his tracks. Ralph supposed he didn’t expect to be followed, or he had the confidence to know if he was found he’d just as easily kill those that stumbled on him. But three of them had come across his kind before and lived; the fourth was at least clued up. Ralph Anderson didn’t plan on dying here either. After about half an hour of careful searching they entered a larger cavernous area, much like a room, and all of them froze. To one end was a semi-circular collection of lights; all in the same UV soft white spectrum. Near to those was a heap of blankets, bundled together in organised chaos; but they were within a ring of piled up silt and dirt that covered the floor. Ralph swept his torch but saw no evidence of bones which would suggest food, hunting, more murders – you had said you didn’t need to eat; you could survive on feelings. The Outsider had and you had announced grief as unsustainable… yet Aldric was perhaps different. Able to sustain himself on something else. Aldric also wasn’t ‘a baby…’ Ralph received the feeling that he was being watched all too late, and a cold tremor ran over his body. From one of the darker corners of the room came the sound of shifting rocks, and an animalistic growl. All of them whirled around, torches gathered on two eyes – iridescent silver. “Shit-!” Ralph was the one to voice what they were all feeling as they backed up; all four of them clicked their safety’s off. “This isn’t good right?” Hayes’ comment was unhelpful, but it was Holly that came back with; “We’ve done this before. We can do it again.” Yune was the only one to glance down; “Uh, guys!” Ralph let the others call attention to whatever he’d found, he was way more concerned with training his gun on this man. Holly and Hayes did, and then gave each other the same look; the prints in the dirt were not feet or shoes, as they had been elsewhere in this cave, but four clawed and elongated. They were in more trouble than they’d realised. As Aldric stepped into the light of both their torches and the semi-circular arrangement, all Ralph could think was someone had smoothed down and elongated the limbs of a blue-grey crocodile. In this form he stood a little higher off the ground than that – and those razor-sharp teeth and talons told the whole story. He was maybe Ralph-and-a-half should he feel the need to stand on two legs; and it was already apparent by the way Aldric moved across the floor that he was deadly fast. Even though the four of them were getting pushed up into the wall, Ralph kept in front; if Aldric came for them he’d sacrifice himself so they could get a good shot or a head start out of here, whatever it took. Aldric growled again, this time as his mouth opened Ralph noticed those needle like teeth had more than one row and the only thing he could think was ‘this is how I die’. Only Aldric did draw himself up onto two legs; ‘Oh no, this is much worse!’ “Do we think guns will work in here!?” Yune was trying to focus on not making his hands shake. “Hell, maybe we’ll at least bury it under rubble!!” Holly’s voice appeared calmer than Ralph would guess she was. Both of them holding up better than the lawyer, whose face was white and Ralph was thinking Hayes regretted his demands to come along. The shifter wound up, muscles in his back legs poised to spring; Ralph’s finger moved from discipline position to his trigger, swallowing hard. They could get through this, they could… even if only three of them made it out alive. This time the creature roared, echo loud, Hayes took a further step back and connected with sharp rock. Nowhere to go. Aldric sprang. The blur of blue and grey was joined by another call. This one different to the one Aldric was emitting: like no known animal on earth. Blood – or assumedly blood – spattered across the ground as Aldric reeled back from the force of the bulkier shape. Larger, spine far more defined down the slope of its back, and not ending in a tail like Aldric did. It turned, face fairly flat, skull round, just as reptilian with the same ghostly silver, needle teeth jutting out at angles and barely containable. Compared to Aldric this creature was much better proportioned, and the power as it launched itself at him again made Ralph glad that wasn’t what they were facing. Claws ripping through Aldric’s arm once more, before the force of its leap had it skittering off in the direction of the lights. “There’s TWO of them now!?” Hayes had finally found a voice, but Yune was smiling; “Of course there’s two of them!” Ralph didn’t understand why it hadn’t clicked with him before and he turned to Yune almost in shock; “Y/N!?” By the time they all turned back, in place of the creature was something a lot more human; panting, balancing gracefully on one hand as you pushed yourself to standing. Brushing your hair back from your face, eyes still that silver, you dusted yourself off, looking to the darker spot you’d pushed Aldric to. Although no one else in the room had eyes good enough to pierce that darkness, you did, and if he went for them again you would step in. Your wrists still ached, and as you shook them out blood cascaded to the floor; what you really wished you were was self-healing. The human laugh emitted from the dark corner had the group looking from you to him and Aldric stepped out of the shadows. Picture perfect as the day he left; the man on the CCTV Holly had identified. “Y/N… I suppose I should have guessed that.” “I don’t see why. After all, I’d never have guessed you’d be out here murdering humans.” “Don’t you preach to me about their race.” Aldric stretched out, placing a hand over his arm; “Man. That smarts; you’re a little sharper than I remember.” You glared, stalking around him so you ended up in front of your friends. …ex-friends. “Why?” “I got tired of the injustices they get away with, that they’ve always got away with because of us. It was time to stand up.” You planted your feet firmly in front of them, stance strong but wide – showing him you could cover all angles. You weren’t sure you were about to accept that as an excuse; you knew the pain he was talking about and you’d never gone there. Aldric merely scoffed; “Really? You would defend them after what they did to you-!? After what this particular man did to you-?!” You held your nerve, not rising to the bait. Ralph Anderson felt four pairs of eyes on him and at least two of them held a degree of hatred, he shuffled uncomfortably for a second, glad he couldn’t see your face. You opted instead for: “I thought I KNEW you-!!! You’re killing people-!? That makes you no better than the shifter that caused all this-!! For godsake Aldric, we have a child!” You stopped yourself from going any further, eyes pulling from his face momentarily as you frowned; what a human thing to say. Aldric wouldn’t give his angle up, and smirked pointedly: “Oh, we all have our weaknesses, darling.” Your eyes widened, for a second your silver was shot with red at the blind anger that overtook you. You hated him for that, for insinuating that Ralph was yours… the problem was Aldric was right, and he knew it. You were defending the man that had intended to kill you, twice, over the one that had cared for you – maybe even loved you for almost as many years. Ralph would never understand you even if he tried and Aldric was the only one who did… Yet here you were, because you just could not let Detective Anderson go. And you would rather die than lose him. “I want real answers Aldric. Even you must know that there’s only two ways this ends.” “As long as both end with him dead, I’ll take my chances.” Jealousy?! Was that it? After all this time…? Aldric looked like he regretted saying it and cleared his throat, “Don’t you ever get tired, Y/N? Of defending everything they do? It’s not just us, it’s the world, every creature will be driven to extinction by the end of this, just like they tried to do to us. With what consequence? We kill a few of them and we’re the ones that end up hunted to our demise in caves.” “It’s murder.” You knew that feeling, you’d felt it many a time but you had never let it consume you, and Aldric had finally let all his hatred take over. “It’s justice. It’s less than they deserve. And I know you see that.” “If we let you go, you’ll just do it again.” “Well then you have a choice to make, Y/N, because I’ll start with your detective’s friends, just so he can watch, and then I’ll end with him. And if I have to go through you, then I’ll make sure you get to see me kill him. Don’t worry, I’ll go slow – make a spectacle. But really I’d rather you didn’t make me kill a member of my own race.” “Stop it.” “You think I won’t go through with this!?” His talons were already elongating and you swallowed hard – there was no choice, you were standing here because you’d already made it. “Y/N…” Holly tried once, but you shook your head. “Go.” “What?!” “All of you get out of here.” You too entered that between transition: not human, not monster. “Y/N, We’re not leaving you.” Yune didn’t seem like the type to make such a stupid comment, but here he was. “If you don’t leave, you will get caught up in this and you will die. I’m not prepared to take any kind of risk. GO!” Now your voice fluctuated into more of a growl. “As soon as I’m done with you, I’m dragging your detective back here screaming and begging for his life.” Aldric’s eyes were hard. He was glaring through you at Ralph, who was urging the others to leave, and quickly. “You’re not going to fucking touch him.” You heard them shuffle away, catching them in your peripheral, Ralph last. He stilled for a minute and turned back to catch your eye. You gave him five seconds of satisfaction and locked with him – Ralph opened his mouth; you had no idea what to say. If it would even be of consequence, if it would be what you so desperately wanted. Or just good luck, will you be okay, do you want help, do you need this gun? Whatever it was neither of you had time for, and you gave a slight shake of your head. This time his face changed, not stoic, not mad at you, but startlingly apologetic. I’m sorry - two words he’d never got to say, before Ralph backed up, and faded into darkness. You turned back to Aldric, who had been privy to the whole exchange. “Un-fucking-belivable. You still love him.” “You said it yourself, we all have our weaknesses.” You couldn’t deny it. Aldric sneered: “I mean it, when I have you close enough to death to be immobilised, I’ll kill the other three – perhaps even mercifully. Then I will drag his body back in here and it will give me no greater pleasure than to gut him in front of you.” Then he smiled, and it was frightening, wild, one you might expect out of such a killer. “Heck, maybe I’ll even eat this one.” It was the last thing he said before you saw red, and lunged for him. ***

Once outside the group of four weren’t about to admit how in over their heads they were. Scrambling to set up behind cars, weapons trained on the cave entrance. “That was crazy.” Holly was the only one who thought about talking, “You think the one in Tennessee could do that!?” “Maybe…” Yune’s arm twinged at the thought of that particular shootout; “But clearly a lot slower… Ralph!” Detective Anderson by this time was back by his own car; handcuffs in bits, but the blue that covered the floor had him more concerned, and he shifted the dirt around to cover it up. “I’m coming-! Just let me get rid of her DNA…” The other three exchanged looks; now he cares? Or did he always care? Ralph pulled open his trunk and gathered spare guns, before settling with them behind the car. “How long do you think it’ll take?” “We have no way of knowing. They looked so different… But I’m thinking those scratches she gave him were nothing more than grazes. Warnings…” Holly mused, hand over her heart – it was beating far too fast, “It could be a while.” “Maybe we’ll lose both.” Yune’s muse was sad, and he hoped against hope that wouldn’t happen. He still wasn’t prepared to count you amongst them, even when you were one. Hayes’ eyes had hardly left the cave mouth; “Have we considered what happens if the wrong one makes it?” “Give it hell.” Ralph voice nearly shook with anger, and Holly and Yune once again raised eyebrows. Seemed Ralph Anderson wasn’t about to hide his feelings anymore. “…We can’t let it get out of here.” “Especially not if it’s killed her, right?” Yune looked across to him, almost smirking. Ralph didn’t verbally respond, but the nod was enough. It wasn’t long before they were met with a shuffling sound, and the scattering of rocks as they were kicked out of the way by tired feet. “That’s two legs, right?” “With the echo it’s hard to tell.” Holly and Yune listened harder; half minded to throw the safety on. But they both knew that your race could be tricksy; there was no way they could risk that move. “It sounds hurt.” Hayes’ mouth pressed into a thin line, “Let’s just hope we want to help it!” Sure enough eventually it was you that hobbled into view; though in the state you were in it really could have been anyone. Covered in red and blue blood from head to foot you were clutching your right arm, which seemed to be hanging fairly uselessly by your side, and you were certainly limping. Honestly, between the four of them it was hard to tell who was the most overjoyed – despite the initial reaction of horror at your presentation, they were all grateful to see you standing there. The way you felt could not be more different. There wasn’t a part of you that didn’t hurt, physically and emotionally. At this point there probably wasn’t much of you that wasn’t bleeding. And despite the fact that walking back to the entrance all you could think was ‘He had it coming. He brought it upon himself. He’d kill your friends if you’d have let him go. He’d have done WORSE’. You still lamented at having to kill yet another shapeshifter just to protect them. They were good people, and he was a murderer that much was true; but it was affecting you deeply. Aldric and you had created a life together – and your heart was broken. Yet another one of an ancient species struck from existence – maybe you were all too dangerous to be kept alive… Even when you were trying to do good. Your eyes were still shining in silver, but part of that could have been accented by the blur of tears. Ralph Anderson had never felt like a bigger fucking idiot. For a moment you had never looked more stunning or beautiful, even though you were injured, limping, covered in blood and still seemed like a threat – more than one shifter tell still in play. Therefore Ralph was the first one to move from behind the car, running across the path to you. The movement itself spiked your adrenaline, body throwing you into a defensive stance as he slowed to a stop beside you. Your eyes were hard and cold: somehow you were also scarier than any time he’d previously seen you like this. The power in you to still be standing right now; how many years and lives you’d lived to be here right now, with him. Just human. Flesh and blood and bone and nothing all that special compared to what was in front of him. You’d given him your heart and he’d never really returned it. Ralph got the feeling you’d never wanted it back. You stood for a few seconds, feeling like far longer, staring at each other. It felt like you were between saying something snarky to him, or half expecting him to shoot one of his many you’re not human phrases at you. He wanted to, of course he did, but not for any reason you’d think. Instead neither happened, and Ralph grabbed you, one hand into your hair and one on the small of your back, his lips crashed onto yours. You made one small noise of surprise and complaint, before you pushed through the pain; closing your eyes and letting tears run. Just about able to tangle your left hand in his jacket as he supported your body. The (arguably) best four years of your life flooded your head immediately. It had been so long that his kiss felt foreign, even though it was so familiar. How many times had you relived this… wished for this in your head? Granted, this was never exactly how it happened – but then in your wildest dreams you weren’t sure you’d ever expected it to happen. Ralph didn’t care that there was blood all over you, that all he could taste was metallic, a little too much iron, flavours he’d never tasted in his life – he’d attribute that to your non-human DNA – he needed that kiss. YOU needed that kiss. He loved you. He loved you so much, he always had. It had prevented him from pulling the trigger twice – but it was also why he had so much anger and felt so much heartbreak. Why he was so glad that you were here right now. He broke the kiss slow and delicate, so as not to hurt you anymore, but didn’t exactly pull back; his forehead against yours as you opened your eyes. Ralph was crying, and you knew why, you knew exactly where this was going and you’d let him say what he thought he had to. “I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry… Y/N… I… I don’t know how you’re ever going to forgive me. And Geez, if you never do then I get it. I don’t deserve you to, but I…” he shook his head “I never stopped loving you. I didn’t. I don’t know if I hated you because of that, or… because what I’d caused to happen. I’m not worthy of your forgiveness either, but- I’m sorry… I just… I’m so sorry.” You did pull slightly away from him, eyes returning to a far more natural colour as you studied Ralph hard. There was a lot you had to say; certainly nothing that could be fixed with the words or kisses that spilled from his lips. Ralph Anderson would, in time, earn your trust back. But he’d never lose your love – and he knew that, somewhere in his heart he knew that. You sighed; “Don’t you think it’s a little too late for sorry?” You shook your head, but as you stilled, you smiled: “I forgive you...” “C-Can we go home? C-can we start over?” “Home?” You tilted your head, “You may take me back to Cherokee City. But as for your other request, I’d quite like to pick up where we left off, Ralph Anderson.” “I…I think I can do that.” “Wait- I have a request of my own.” You took those steps back into his body. “Yes?” “Kiss me, again?” You nearly got a laugh out of him, and you would take it, as his arms wound around you again and you felt his lips back on yours. Your relationship would have to heal, but would probably take a little less time to do so than your body would. There would be a lot of learning to be done; but you could both do it. You could both fix your mistakes. There was a light at the end of that tunnel and you could walk through this together. In all your lifetimes, every lover that had come and gone no matter how long or short, you’d known as soon as you met him that there would never be another Ralph Anderson. And you were right. But there was no one else’s hand you would rather be holding down this road. And you couldn’t wait to live the rest of his life with him.

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I know this one is a big one but thank you SO much for reading it!🙊💕 It really does mean the world to me, and if you can give this series some love I’d really appreciate it, I do feel like this is some of my best writing...

You guys are so great! Thank you for sticking with me!

#Ralph Anderson #The Outsider #The Outsider HBO #Ben Mendelsohn #HBOs the Outsider #Ralph Anderson x Reader #Shifter!Reader #Ralph Anderson x Shifter!Reader #All of these are going on my side blog too #Dia #180 #I think they'll probably graduate onto AO3 too its just too good a premise to leave here #I'm sad to finish them but I'm also thinking it's worth a quick 4th follow up #LITERALLY every emotion Ralph Anderson feels in this fic is in that first gif!#K.W.S.H is clearly /Kenneth William Samuel Hayes/ if you thought I wasn't getting that in ;)#Also my favourite line is probably /I'm from Georgia sweetie. Of course I do/#Team 10K #Its better not to think about what may happen to clothes when they shift...#im just gonna say it - I love Aldric. A lot.#If I had any drawing skills at all I'd draw him and Dia together... buuut I don't!#So if I had an editor they'd probably tell me to cut Hayes completely. And i'd understand that...#...BUT I JUST wanted him to have a decent Arc like he did in the book! So here he is!#(Also like I say - he has my favourite line so...!)#Aldric & Dia's adventures... coming... soon? Maybe?

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

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Selfish Pt.7 - Sheriff of Nottingham x Reader (Robin Hood 2018)

@wltz-bby @happyskywhale #mendotagsquad

@themadtarkantaur - Thank you for your patience 💙💜

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

Author’s Note: Welcome back! It’s been a while! The last time I wrote for Sheriff was that *chef’s kiss* unrepeatable masterpiece Young God. The last time we saw these two in this series was January 13th... So yeah, overdue doesn’t even really cover it. BUT! We’re back with our Norse Shield Maiden and she’s no longer a third person reader insert! From this part we’re jumping right into 2nd person.

TBH, it feels so good to put a banner back up there - it’s been way too long!

Disclaimer: Robin Hood has nothing to do with me / a lot of this series is now probably going to be shaped by conversations I’ve had with @mendelskrull / lyrics not mine

Premise: The time has finally come for you to be married, and for him to show you off to the world. Your marriage may come with rules and responsibilities, but promises power and influence to enact your own Agenda...

Words: 8452

Warnings: Slight swears / Sheriff’s past is a regularly recurring theme (don’t wanna give it an abuse TW tag, It’s a little subtler this round) /

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Don't ever say your lonely Just lay your problems on me And i'll be waiting there for you The stars can be so blinding When you get tired of fighting You know the one you can look to I know its been a long night but now I'm here it's alright I don't mind walking in your shoes We'll take each step together, til you come back to center You know that i know the real you And when the vision you have gets blurry You don't have to worry i'll be your eyes That's the least i can cause when i fell You pulled me through So you know that I'll carry you, i'll carry you, i'll carry you So you know that I'll carry you, i'll carry you, i'll carry you Like you've been running for hours and can't catch your breath The demons are screaming so loud in your head Your tired you're broken you're cut and you're bruised But nothings to heavy just hold on, i'll carry you

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This wasn’t really the wedding you had envisioned. You’d watched many friends of yours, and even you eldest brother, marry. Yet even the smallest weddings back home didn’t involve only four people.

When the Sheriff had asked you if you would let him be yours, you thought it might be a city-wide affair, perhaps even his jurisdiction wide affair. It wasn’t. It was you and he and Tuck in a room, with Marcus to witness, and a contract that said you were married. You wondered if official ink to parchment would really have the Sheriff changing his ways, or if it would all be the same still.

The day before you had gone to the Friar in the strictest confidence: “Well, Y/N, all I can really tell you is he’s not been to confessional since the last time you saw him. And I swear on it now, that wasn’t to do with infidelity.” “Then what?!” Although Wil has already told you this, you thought hearing from someone who didn’t literally spin rhetoric for a living might set things straight. Tuck seemed to indicate to Nottingham as a whole, “What with the crusades still raging so far away people are getting anxious. They want answers he doesn’t have... he needs you.” Tuck took your shoulders gently, “He needs you more than he realises he does, in fact our Sheriff will need all the supposed he can get.” “Do you think I should marry him?” “Do you have a choice? He and your father made an agreement... I don’t see a way out of this that doesn’t end in you going home; unless that’s what you aim to do?” Tuck looked concerned for a minute. He himself wasn’t ready to lose your influence on the Sheriff. “No...” It was quiet and unsure, but you knew that running away would help nothing. You’d already given yourself to him, and Wil was trying... you knew he was trying. But was trying enough? You thought about the cross-cross of scars on his back and the way that he acted in Church... about the kind of woman it would take to handle that. About what Wil must have thought of you to tell you all that he had. Not like a man who didn’t care. He’d given you control of Nottingham’s defences. He didn’t ACT like someone who wanted you to be the good obedient silent wife by his side, useful only to bare him children. Wil knew that’s not what he would be getting out of you as it was, not with your Norse heritage. If he was using you for your skills... then at least he was giving you freedom and something you wanted, that you actually enjoyed. You didn’t have to keep yourself trapped in the palace all day every day. You shook your head. “I can’t turn my back on him now.” You would have come so far, and for what? You were here to marry him. Perhaps when that was fulfilled you would know a different man. Your parents always said everything is different when you’re married... but you weren’t sure there was ever any indication it was positive. Still, as you stood beside him and Tuck read out some verses for you to repeat – in all honesty you had no idea what you were saying, just that they sounded vaguely like vows – you couldn’t help but feel the nervous knots in your stomach. This wasn’t a real marriage; heck it wasn’t even a real wedding. But you were convincing yourself that it was one. This certificate would tell the Church you were married. It’d tell The King you were married… and your family… But that wasn’t what was really happening. The Sheriff was fulfilling a contractual obligation. He’d made your father a promise, and Wil was making good on that. You on the other hand weren’t even sure anything would change. But you hoped against hope that it would… That he would love you, exactly as he had done before. The fact that it wasn’t a ‘real’ wedding also explained why Askel wasn’t present, although you supposed that he would go mad knowing that you’d done this in relative secrecy. You were also aware of what he’d report back to your father, and you weren’t sure you wanted that eventuality either. It didn’t last long and there were no rings. Yet there was also no hesitation in the Sheriff’s signature as he flowed the quill neatly across the parchment, before handing it to you with a sweet smile. A smile that made your heart skip, and you shivered as his hand touched yours; and then you thought if you hesitated… what would that mean? How would Wil react to such a thing? You didn’t want to hurt him; he’d been through enough… But you were signing away your life here. Potentially your freedom too, although you doubted it. Why would he give you so much only to take it away now? The quill scratched across the parchment with your own name – which gave you your own pause. Did you get a title now? Did you take his name? Did it feel right for either in such a strange setting. You looked to Marcus – and the look on his face. How excited he was – it surprised you, and coupled with how eagerly he took the quill from you to witness, you found yourself smiling again. You took a deep breath; this was the start of your real journey. The prospect, the very inference, of being married to him carried with it responsibility. You were determined to live up to it. Askel wasn’t just mad. He was outraged, and you were glad your new husband was attending to official duties when he caught you. Even gladder that no one else in the palace would have had as good a grip on Norse as you, considering the insults that were being traded: “-ARE YOU AN IDIOT!?! HOW COULD YOU JUST GO AND GET MARRIED!?! HOW CAN YOU JUST SWEAR YOURSELF TO A GOD LIKE THEIRS!?!” “THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR!! THAT’S WHAT OUR FATHER AGREED TO!” “If he KNEW what he’d agreed to, you wouldn’t have been getting married. Why can’t he give you a REAL wedding? What, he doesn’t want all of Nottingham there?! Or the whole jurisdiction lining the streets-!? That’s how it SHOULD be!!” “Well maybe we will!!” “That’s a load of shit – you don’t even know what you’ve got yourself into, Y/N! You should have come to ME!” “So you could tell me NO!? So you could go to our father-!?! Wil is opening the trade ways, I’ve seen the official notifications for the beginnings of our people trading here!” Another tick in the box for the Sheriff, as that was also a part of the deal made; “Why are you acting like this-!?! Like my feelings don’t matter-!?” Your brother’s eyes narrowed, it was a cheap shot, and you both knew it. To Askel the way you felt about the situation was the only thing that mattered at all; “WHY!? Why would you do it!?” “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!” That felt weird to say, it wasn’t even a sentence you had to think about. And it hit you like a ton of bricks. Love? Did you? To say it in such a way? You swallowed hard and knew fear had crossed your face, flickering in your eyes. You weren’t sure Askel could see passed his own blind rage. “I don’t CARE if you love him. Does he love you!?” It wasn’t a question you could answer.

*** You no longer had a room. You had a husband. And an ‘our’ room. (For the record, your brother was not happy. But managed to hold his tongue.) The space in actuality was minimal; a bed, and a desk that you’d noted before, a mirror, and wardrobe space, (cupboards and drawers of varying sizes but all the same colour and wood style.) a few chests and a modesty screen. Minimalist, but everything matched. The crest of Nottingham stood out in blue and grey, hanging above his bed; cross and three crowns. Which meant moving your own things in here wasn’t exactly hard; you weren’t lacking for room. But you wanted to make sure that nothing disturbed the aesthetic he’d worked so hard to attain. You spent a lot of time standing in the doorway and thinking hard, and you must have looked it. Wil stayed with you, working from here instead of the usual room you found him in. “Y/N, darling, if you stand there all day you’ll start growing roots…” He shuffled through papers as he crossed the room, and you enjoyed the amused little smile on his face. “I just want to make sure that I don’t ruin your good work.” He scoffed, turning those blue eyes from his work to you, “These are your chambers too, now, do with them what you will.” Wil placed his papers down and strolled to you, taking you in his arms, “You will, if anything, make it a home.” “You say that, Sheriff, but I am well aware of safe spaces. And I wish to make sure yours still IS one.” No matter what happened between you now, knowing what you knew he’d already been through your only wish was to make sure it never happened again. Wil moved his hands to frame your face, his unreadable – eyes delicate; “You know what I think?” Your lips parted but you didn’t answer, not by the look in his eyes, the feeling of his touch. “You think too much.” The Sheriff knew you were about to protest that, so immediately moved to kiss you; you wouldn’t deny him that. You hadn’t had a wedding night, per se, kissing him like this was as good as either of you had given. In fact you were a little impartial to sharing a bed with him at all. You had done it before, and you didn’t want his impression to be that you hadn’t enjoyed it. But you were cautious. He was your husband as your equal, and you weren’t going to do this any other way. Wil’s lips left yours and he pulled you back tighter to him, resting his head on yours; “Please, I want you to make this whatever you want. Don’t worry about me.” He’d failed to realise that was the only thing you were going to do. But the Sheriff chuckled, “I think I need some redecorating!” You did it slowly, and everything you did you asked for his opinion on. But you worked hard, and got through all of your work quickly just so you could get back to fix something up and surprise him. It was one of the things you loved most – the smile on his face as you eagerly waited for him to spot what you’d changed. Your rounds got easier, and splitting them between Marcus, Askel and yourself made it easier. In fact you always made it a competition, who could complete their round and get back to the palace first. Which, was usually you; before that Town Hall meeting. The Sheriff introduced you out of the blue, but not like an afterthought. And he smiled, he genuinely smiled and sounded happy. A whisper ran through the crowd that was excited – a change from the disgruntled kind you’d heard many a time before. Some of them likely had already seen you in the mines, and as you picked out Will and Marian you couldn’t help your beaming smile. The only people who didn’t seem happy with this marriage announcement were the Lords. You were already cautious of them from your previous meetings, when he’d let you sit in on them (now you had a real job you had less time to do such things); but now you simply dared them to come between the two of you. Although you had to admit in your head the thought of running your sword, or shooting an arrow, through some of them didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Because of the Town Hall many people liked stopping you and your horse to talk to you. At first it was sweet; the way they would welcome you to the city and shower you with compliments. But then it became ‘Can you just ask the Sheriff’, ‘Could you just tell the Sheriff’ ‘This is urgent!’ and you realised that you had to remember all of these things on top of your general running around. Not always easy. Today you came back with ribbons & flowers in your hair, and Marcus and Askel had been in hysterics (on top of having waited for you for over an hour). This was the work of little girls downtown, and you weren’t about to stop them – Eyhamel hadn’t escaped either, for his troubles, and they ran through his mane and tail. “Just because they aren’t giving you flowers for protecting the city.” “Do they know that’s what you’re doing?” Marcus grinned, “I think they just use you as a messenger.” “Well, I don’t mind that either-!” “You think he listens to what you tell him?” You shrugged, dismounting and kissing Eyha’s muzzle for his patience, “Sometimes we have meaningful discussions. Sometimes he shuts it down. Wil runs things, I’m just glad to make him aware of them…” You began to lead your horse to the stables. Visiting Vesper mattered just as much as anything else; he was out more than he used to be, but still looked like a horse ready to run. “You’re too good for Nottingham, Y/N!” “Oh, hush!” You giggled at Marcus’ comment, but didn’t miss your brother’s look of significance – as if he needed any other reasons to give you one. Today you caught your husband coming back from your room to his office and he paused in the hallway to observe you for a minute; “What did who do to your hair?” “Oh! Little girls from town!” He laughed, “Ah… I like it… it… it looks good.” “It’s pretty.” You beamed, before questioning him. “Where are you going?” “Writing. Uhm, actually I was thinking, if you needed someone else for your rounds.” Wil beckoned you to follow him and you fell in line, “If you want to take Alder with you…” “OH! But-! Darling, he’s… he’s your personal guard.” “I know, but I wanted to help out your cause. It’s no secret you’re helping mine.” He paused again unable to keep his eyes off you, “They like you. I’m glad the people like you. It’s not something I should ignore…” “You don’t.” “I don’t. It’s about taking it elsewhere.” He held his hand out for yours, “Come with me, I need to show you something.” You kept step with him until you reached his ready room, Alder was the only guard on duty, and gave you a warm smile – which you returned. Hastily turning to your husband as soon as you were inside and the door was closed; “Did you perhaps promise him a position?” “You’re too good at reading people.” “I aught to be, I believe I’ll be needing it.” Your look was significant and the Sheriff feigned as if he didn’t know what you meant with a hum to match, “If you wish not to give him one.” “I can figure something out, but he’s a man I actually trust around you. Which I may also be able to tell you now.” He laughed, beckoning you to his desk, “You don’t trust people around me?” “Not the people with whom you must unfortunately be acquainted. Though why you would expect me to after what you have told me…” “Thought there might be a reason you were no longer accompanying me to Church.” “I’m still angry.” You would go back eventually, the thought of him suffering alone was already pulling you that direction. He sighed through his next sentence, “And she has a temper.” Then lifted the parchment from the table and held it out for you, “Tell me what you think.” Your look was at least amused as you snatched it from him ‘I’ll show YOU temper!’ and read; surprised to find that the letter was from Carina (who signed as Cara) and her husband Charles. “Your friends address you as Sheriff too?” You were also surprised to find it was not addressed to ‘William’. “It’s an official letter so, yes.” You wondered if he would stick with the idea of you writing to him as ‘Wil’ and read on; ‘… We are pleased to hear of your recent marriage to Y/N, Princess of Stavanger. Having briefly made her acquaintance in Nottingham.’ You cringed internally, remembering her from the last big argument you and he had, ‘We cordially invite you to Shirebrook township. We would be honoured to welcome you, as Sheriff, and the new Lady of Nottingham. The people will wish to see her, especially, and we would be overjoyed to be her first official visit. We are not otherwise engaged presently, so reply with a time most convenient for you and we will begin preparations…’ You raised your eyes to the Sheriff’s face slowly; “Lady of Nottingham--?” He nodded, “You have an official title now. But,” he gestured, “that’s hardly the point of the letter.” “It’s addressed to you, it’s your decision.” Wil scoffed, “I won’t do anything without you, especially when you’re involved. You should know that.” You bit your lips together, “…I would love to go.” “I told you they loved you.” You tilted your head, “They don’t have a choice.” “Of course they have a choice. It’s much more testament to you than I.” There was a distinct message there, not lost on you; they don’t like me, they have to like me, but you… they LOVE you. “So you will accompany me?” “I will…” You nodded, suddenly remembering a good idea of your own; “OH! Wil! I- May we ride? Just us, no entourage… no carriages… Alder and Marcus if we really must. But, just you and I.” The Sheriff immediately smiled – and you knew he knew before he even spoke; “You’ve been planning this for quite some time, Y/N, haven’t you?” “I’ve wanted to see what is beyond Nottingham, yes. Especially as you have such jurisdiction… I suppose I am far more used to… open land. The advancement of your city is a new game. One I very much enjoy but-” “You wish to be out there?” “I do. But only if that adventure gets to happen beside you.” He chuckled, “Okay. We’ll do it your way.” He took the letter delicately from you, before proceeding to take your hand in his, “Besides, I suppose the head of my Nottingham guard will be apt at defending her Sheriff.” You grinned; “He best believe it.” *** As an official ‘Lady’ now, you were also sent a group of handmaidens. Which at first you weren’t even so sure you wanted, for one thing if it wasn’t so obvious that you were better in the company of men… then again on that thought, you supposed that may be the point. It was just strange for you to be around so many British women at once; you were certainly out of your element. You had to admit it was nice to be waited on, that they would spend hours on your hair and dressing you in clothes that seemed a little too fine to just wander to Church in. (Although that was always an afterthought when you saw how much Wil beamed to see you in some of these dresses.) It was enjoyable to sit with them and gossip – your old room became an airier space to relax in – and it made you miss your sisters, suddenly you were glad of the substitute. Even though you complained; “I don’t need them-!” “Yes, I know you don’t need them, but to play the part you now must, you should have some. There are some things that can be overlooked, but a role must also be played here.” You wondered how much of a role he was really playing himself, what Wil would be like away from here, if he didn’t have to look after Nottingham… if he didn’t have his fancy title… The Sheriff paused, “Besides, you now have female friends.” You shot him a look at the suggestion you didn’t have female friends and he chuckled, “You understand perfectly what I mean.” “I do. I’m just glad your inference is not that I only have female friends.” “I know you better than that.” “I should hope you would.” You nudged him gently with a smile, “Speaking of, I must be off! Nottingham shall not defend itself-!” You took Wil’s hands in yours as you skipped in front of him, leaning up to steal a kiss. then let him go to run to your next patrol. His laughter followed you up the corridor. “Hurry back.” You swivelled back to him with your best smile; “Only for you!” Things weren’t always good. On his best days you almost couldn’t believe that you’d could have lucked into a better - albeit arranged - marriage. On his worst days you wanted to be nowhere near him, at the same moment as wanting to take him in your arms and hold him closer than he’d ever been before. The Sheriff was a man with a dark past and you were glad you knew that, there was a lot that could be attributed to his behaviour from that. And as he came and went between meetings you also became knowledgeable as to who made him more antsy, and who made him tense. As you learned all of this you could roughly map out how Wil’s day would go, and how his mood would take shape (depending on how he woke up.) Wil had rough nights, where he would wake panting and shaking in a cold sweat, nearly delusional. Where he’d flinch if you touched him; the only way down from this was to talk to him – gentle and firm, until he sought the comfort of your arms himself. Nights where he was restless and couldn’t sleep; where it was best to slip your arms around him and kiss his shoulders, sometimes your delicate touches and soothing voice would eventually lull him to sleep – sometimes you’d drift off, but he would stay with you; before you’d been a permanent resident the Sheriff would have spent half the night pacing the floor – you had the ability to keep him here. It wasn’t all bad – you couldn’t even pretend that. He had good nights too, where he’d retire to bed with you early. Or when you could entice him from the draw of his desk to lie with you. Pulling you to his chest and kissing you, slow and lazy and intoxicating. Rough nights didn’t always translate into bad days, and more often than not the Sheriff had softer, quiet mornings where he would lay with you and simply talk. He was an early riser – you weren’t always, but sometimes Wil would stay until he had no choice, and sometimes he would let you make him late: ‘Oh… it’s only Pembroke he can wait.’ Maybe you should have been telling him not to shirk his duties, but he worked incredibly hard the rest of the time and you would be selfish with his time when he let you be. The Sheriff was yours, and you loved him dearly, that much you knew was certain. You were beginning to wonder if perhaps he felt the same – his command of Norse went from strength to strength, he would greet you and leave you with typical sweet talk, but also liked telling you all about his day in words that were your own. When you gently prompted corrections, he would only smile and attempt again. You and Tuck kept in daily contact – well, you needed someone’s professional opinion on what was happening in the Sheriff’s meetings that didn’t come from the man himself. Tuck was the safest, and most neutral, place to gossip and right now only had good news for you. There had been no confessional since you had married; what’s more Tuck said Wil spent a great deal of time talking about you. You were his focus – what’s more his focus was only on you. You weren’t sure how long you could keep it; or if it was ‘yours’ to keep. But for now, you would revel in him – and nothing and no-one was going to take him away from you.

*** Surprisingly everyone allowed you to go on this trip alone together. Considering your occupation, you were supposed to stick to the main trails; which if you were honest you thought was stupid, it would give everyone a clear shot at him, yet you understood the point. He’d be much safer than if it was a narrow path through forests where anyone could hide anywhere. Still you ignored the directive as soon as you were outside the walls. Nottingham city was beautiful, you weren’t about to fault it; but the stir in your heart matched the stir of the horse beneath you as the gates opened onto rugged pathways and grass. You weren’t about to stop Eyhamel from surging forward and urged him on. There were shouts from behind you, but it was the Sheriff’s laugh you were really listening too; and soon you were joined by a gorgeous black Stallion. That caused you to laugh too; the feel of the wind rushing passed, blowing cool air through your hair and stirring your dress – the freedom of being outside was a kick you couldn’t resist. And it had been so long. Wil would have been content to simply watch your free spirit; a proud smile on his face. You looked much more comfortable in your clothing today than what they had been dressing you in for church. They complimented your personality – dress a little courser in fabric, you wore riding trousers. The English would see that as scandal, to you and your fellow Norse women it was standard ‘What, you think we go into battle in pretty dresses?!’ then to the look on his face ‘Don’t answer that.’ Comfortable and easy to move in, and yet still elegant in a steel grey-blue that matched his own attire. Your hair was intricate and pulled back from your face so it didn’t get in your way as you rode; a real Norse Princess. Or, Shield Maiden. Still, despite this he couldn’t let you get too far ahead when you didn’t know the exact route, and under all technicalities you were supposed to be protecting him. He encouraged Vesper and his horse responded in kind, tugging the reigns as he raced after you. Wil was a skilled rider, it had been one of the very last things his parents had taught him, you had a wealth of experience, but he was determined to give you a run for your money – and you’d already witnessed the steady control of their partnership in town. His horse out here was something else to behold, and you wanted to see Vesper run. You turned to him with a smile; “Think you can keep up, Sheriff?” “Keep up?” He returned a smirk, “I believe it is you that aught to be worried about such things.” “Is that so?” Eyhamel was quick, that you knew, but Vesper was larger and you’d never seen him at speed, let alone full tilt. You urged him again; “Let’s see you try to keep up!” “Ah!” He called after you, “You forget who knows the way!” “I studied the map!” You yelled back, unwilling to concede that he had a point. Wil shook his head, but found himself chuckling again; “Let’s give them a run for their money, Vesper!” Eventually you both slowed to walk, to give your horses respite – still, by then you were both laughing together. That laugher changed to friendly chatter, as he explained his jurisdiction, the towns nearest to Nottingham and far on into the North of England – how the trade deal with your home town would work, and then the river-to-sea connection. Which is also how the soldiers made their way to the crusade, but, he was a little less willing to talk about that. You told him a little bit more of the journey here from the North, how you wished that you had come into port in Nottingham instead of London with your quip of ‘Oh, I bet it’s beautiful from the water’ to which he chuckled, ‘Well, your people will surely get to see it in its glory…Perhaps you can go and greet them as they arrive?’ You lit up immediately at that, as he knew you would, and the Sheriff got to enjoy your smile. You arrived on the outskirts of a small town eventually, and Wil reached out for your reigns, pulling you and your horse closer. As Nottingham, there were walls around this town, these wooden instead of stone and brick. Already on your approach you saw people scrabbling around on the top to open up the gate. You could hear the faint calls of “Sheriff! The Sheriff is here!!” and your heart swelled a little, hand slipping to his around your reigns, Wil squeezed your hand tight – thanking the guards for opening up the gate. Slowing your horse in sync with his as the gate lowered behind you, Wil let you hand go with a small nod – already you had noticed many of the towns people standing in their doorway to stare inquisitively. It was not Nottingham by any stretch of the imagination; with most of the houses small wooden structures of only one floor. Save for one a little more stately in the middle; you assumed belonging to the people you were really here to meet. Wil pulled up and dismounted, stable hands surging forward to take care of Vesper – you weren’t one to wait for him to help you down, and slid from your saddle before gently patting Eyha for riding so well, handing over your reigns, rejoining your husband. The Sheriff placed his hand gently to the small of your back and guided you towards the couple awaiting you. You already recognised the woman as Cara, the man beside her must have been her husband, Charles. “Wil-!” He stepped forward, “It feels like it’s been a long time.” That hit you immediately; they called him Wil. Sheriff in official letters, Wil in real life. Friends. “Not nearly as long as you’d think. It’s been a while since you yourself made the trip, no?” “Would that I could attend anything in the fair City of Nottingham. What with the war effort we have much to attend to.” The Sheriff chuckled gently; “Well, let’s not make that a priority topic today…” turning to his wife, “Cara… a delight as ever.” She accepted his kiss to her hand, before he straightened to presented you. “It pleases me no end that I am able to introduce you to my wife, Y/N, Lady of Nottingham. Hailing from the Norse Kingdoms.” He always added it, as if it were the thing he loved the most. That you were unusual, an unknown, untameable force of nature. Cara immediately took your hands in hers, “Oh! Y/N! It’s so, SO good to finally make your acquaintance!” You tried not to think about the last time you’d seen her, and were equally glad that at the time you were not speaking English. You took a breath and smiled, squeezing her hands gently, “And yours. It’s a pleasure to make this my first official…” you searched for the word, “…outing?” The Sheriff brushed a hand to your back encouragingly, “It’s taken us quite a while longer than I should have liked. But, we’re here now.” Charles stepped forward and took your hand much as Wil had Cara’s. “It’s an honour to have you in Shirebrook…” You could already see the way that Cara was studying the sword and bow strapped to Eyhamel, and you couldn’t help but smile at her line of sight. “Wow…” she gasped, “when Wil said Shield Maiden he really meant it.” You nodded, “I’ve seen my fair share of territorial battles.” Then with a shrug, “It’s as much my role now to protect him as to be…” you turned to your husband, “a devoted wife.” And you would be. If he was; you still weren’t counting any slips. “It must be incredible to learn such things.” “I could teach you.” You didn’t even consider the fact that wasn’t something done in England. For a second it slipped your mind that you weren’t in a country that respected the freedoms of its women, and Cara immediately flushed. “Oh, I don’t know if I… I don’t know if-” Charles’ response surprised you, and he nudged her, “Cara, dearest, this is not an opportunity you will often have, hmm?” The Sheriff folded his arms with a chuckle, “Whilst you’re at it, you can exchange for an English woman’s etiquette.” You scoffed and shoved his arm with a laugh of your own, though had probably just proven his point. “Remember you’re talking to a Princess!” Still you winked, “She could teach me better than you!” Your first foray into Shirebrook township therefore didn’t go as expected. Perhaps you thought you’d sit around and chat, maybe talk about the town and have dinner together, yet it was very much a split room. The men discussing town planning, and you: teaching Cara how exactly to balance a sword right and how to pull bow strings to just the right amount of tension, the right posture… Then her giving you a surprisingly sarcastic rundown on how women were ‘supposed’ to behave, but also gentle advice, which you knew you would be indebted to. Advice you would gain nowhere else; how to be sassy and snarky whilst still seeming to be polite and in your place. How to speak through your husband; or else, convince him that your idea was his idea. Cara expressed that you wouldn’t know it, but she essentially managed to run Shirebrook like that – although this didn’t surprise you, she was the one who rode all the way to Nottingham after all. And after your initial impression of her perhaps being just another of the Sheriff’s women, you were also gaining a practical example of ‘never judge a book by its cover’. The Sheriff watched all this from his chair, at first it was subtle, because he did have many important things to discuss with Charles. What with fighting and funding the war; but a number of great changes going on in the town itself. A few of which would need the Sheriff’s permission to take place. Once the serious conversation was over, however, both men were able to sit and admire their wives. Of course William had heard Charles wax lyrical about Cara many times before, yet he had never had the opportunity to do so with you. True, he’d written a lot about you – and upon introducing the idea of you to people, he’d always given a lot of information but, that was really all it ever was. He’d never really talked about his feelings for you. “You know…” The Sheriff sat back, comfortably, running his fingers over his lips; “When the King suggested an arranged marriage, I must admit to my worry… Now I can only think how, not only did I have no right to be worried about her but, that in all honesty, it is nothing but an honour to be in a union with such a woman…” He swallowed hard, and soon the Sheriff was discovering that, having started, he couldn’t stop. “She is perhaps a little fiery, but she’s already more devoted to me than I deserve. If I were her, I perhaps would have left. But she’s here. And it’s not… like anything I’ve had before. She cares – about me, as a person and how I feel. And how people treat me.” William tipped his head, watching the way you laughed gently, thoroughly enjoying yourself in Cara’s company. The realisation came too quick; and clearly not soon enough. This marriage was not just a contractual fulfillment, because he had to. Although he had treated it as such. The Sheriff cared about you; he cared a LOT about you. He may have been the cause of a lot of your hurt, but he didn’t want you upset. He didn’t want others to hurt you either – and he would try to stop that to the best of his ability. Wil had let you take over his guard because he wanted to ulitize your strengths; but was that just the reason, or because he also wanted to see you happy? Of course he wanted to see you happy here. And so he kept talking, perhaps even a little perplexed by what he was saying. Yet realising there wasn’t a word of it untrue. He wasn’t sure he knew you enough to love you yet; to really love you. But he felt something for you – a lot stronger than he thought he’d ever felt for anyone. Charles watched all this with a smile that turned into a smirk; “Hey, what happened to you? You’re not that silver fox that everyone spent too long trying to tame now, huh, Wil?” There was a long pause, and his blue eyes still didn’t leave you – the Sheriff blinked a few times before speaking; “Not anymore.”

***

There was something in the way that he treated you after you got back from Shirebrook that was a little different. You weren’t sure why, but the Sheriff smiled more around you, he let you into meetings that you hadn’t been allowed in before – and if anyone said anything, he was pretty firm about you staying. By the tone of voice he used, no one was arguing with him either. And you soon gained your own kind of political astuteness. Even if you spent most of it listening, not talking. At this particular meeting things seemed tense. Your eyes had flicked from side to side within the room for what felt like hours and no one was budging on their view. Wil seemed annoyingly on the fence, and every time he actually tried to come up with a reasonable solution another point was argued. To which he would look irritated and give you the same exasperated glance. You didn’t think it was possible to come to his rescue without either being ordered out of the room… or laughed out of it. Point being, nothing was getting anywhere. Eventually the door at the far end of the room opened and a servant wheeled in a cart filled with what appeared to be bottles of alcohol. It was about the first thing that had really caught your attention, standing with your back against a pillar. The Lords at first paid him no mind as he walked to the table in the corner, upon which stood a collection of alcohol bottles neatly lined up with ornate glasses for everyone present at the meets to help themselves to. You stood straight and tried to guess the content – all the bottles he had seemed to be of the same or similar type, so you assumed the liquid inside them was one sort of alcohol. But it was only as he began stacking them and refilling things that the conversational lull seemed to fade, and they paid attention. “OH! I say, what have you brought us today?” “We have been gifted a large set of brandy bottles from the Archdeacon, M’Lord.” Tension immediately ran through your body and if you were standing straight before, it was nothing compared to the way you were heightened now. Arms no longer folded – although you weren’t exactly sure what kind of action you were ready to take. Yet the message was clear – the Church had sent him brandy… You dared let your eyes flick to Wil; not exactly tense, but the look on his face begged that to be where the conversation was left. It wasn’t. “Oh! Brandy? I dare say we should have some!” The Lords were all in agreement with Pembroke’s statement and the Sheriff’s eyes slowly traced to yours. You shook your head subtly ‘Don’t do this to yourself, you don’t have to do this to yourself.’ There was panic there, it was restrained, but it was and you saw it. Too good at reading someone who had so many walls. ‘I’m here… I’m HERE now.’ Pembroke turned to him; “Will you partake Sheriff?” You hated that it took a minute to recollect himself, “No.” but glad of the word, as he shook his head, “No.” “Oh, but you must!” One of the other Lords piped up, “It’s exquisite.” You shot him a look, maybe he’d like to take a look at your husband’s back and then try to reargue that point. But then it hadn’t occurred to you that the fathers of these men would have been the guardians of the House – did they know? Was everyone in this room aware of what he’d been through? That made the goading into a glass of alcohol even more horrific; they were taunting him with his past and knew it. “No. No. I’m quite alright.” Of course they poured him one anyway, “Oh, but we insist.” “No – I’d rather not!” “Sheriff-!” “No-” This was strange to see; he wasn’t someone that would put up with this. You’d seen him yell at them enough before (sometimes you got a kick out of it, but you weren’t about to tell him that.), but it was the significance of the situation that had turned Wil from snappy and confident, to someone clearly conflicted by what he was faced with. It was starting to affect him; especially with the forced nature of the scenario – like the polite declines were a habit coded into him. By the very same people that had made him hate the taste so much, you could bet. You were already a few paces forward and reading the room like a book, if anyone took another step towards him, if they were about to force him to drink it, if Wil thought he really had to drink it… You were pissed. That they wouldn’t take ‘No’ as a valid answer, that they wouldn’t just leave him alone. It clicked, a little late perhaps, but also just in time – that’s why you were there. Protect the city. Protect the Sheriff. Hell, PROTECT YOUR HUSBAND!! You stepped between them, snatching the bottle with purpose and Pembroke paused like he wasn’t sure what to do with you. There was a hushed whisper over the other Lords and you couldn’t give a damn. You took one look at it with disgust, before weighing it up correctly in your hand and not giving it a second thought, smashing the bottle against the wall. Everyone but the Sheriff jumped at the sound, splinters of glass scattered over the floor; you were sure there were a few in your hands to accompany the tacky sweetness of the alcohol. You didn’t care. The way you were staring at Pembroke didn’t stay exclusive for long and your disapproving scowl shifted to the other Lords, now cowering in the corner. Yeah, you didn’t think they’d like even an ounce of defiance. You were cold, and fierce. They weren’t standing up to anything but a Norse warrior in that moment. He’d proven to you his faithfulness, his loyalty. Wil had opened up to you about his past and it was more than clear that his history was keeping him manipulated. This might have been the first time you’d seen it first hand, perhaps the first time you’d noticed – but you weren’t about to stand for it, and everyone was going to know this in no uncertain terms. Wil shifted behind you; you weren’t looking at him but you could already bet he was calmer – he was breathing again. Safe. Exactly how you intended to keep him. You made sure that your statement didn’t go unheard and this time it was your voice shaking in anger, no matter how controlled you tried to keep it. That force of nature that the Sheriff always insisted you were; “He said. NO.”

*** When you couldn’t go riding outside alone – as sometimes he let you do, but William worried and wouldn’t let you go too far – to see her, you would write to Cara, and you found yourself loving her more and more. You were glad that he was right, and you were becoming fast friends. It was nice to have someone to vent to sometimes who had a different perspective, or when you wanted to gush poetically about the man you’d married. To read back the same things from her made you smile, sometimes made you glad that you weren’t the only woman here who felt that way. Cara was free to speak her mind to you because of her social class, a fact for which you were eternally grateful. But there was one subject for which she could not speak, and you had much curiosity… Today you surrounded yourself with your handmaidens. It was a hot day, so instead of sitting in your room eager to soak up the sun’s rays for yourself, you all moved outside into the courtyard. As everyone had noticed that your relationship with your husband was progressing nicely, talk had begun to turn – predictably - to the tentative beginnings of children. It was a conversation you were willing to entertain, but not seriously. For one, this wasn’t a conversation that the two of you had had yet. And besides what had already transpired between the two of you, there wasn’t a lot of sexual activity going on. He was still being respectful of your space, and your need to get used to the idea of ‘ours’, not ‘his’ and ‘yours.’ But you knew it wouldn’t stay that way; and you didn’t want it to stay that way. From there… well, unless Wil was adamant he didn’t want any, which, you could understand considering what he’d been through… Children would be a natural progression; at least to talk about. Still, none of these facts stopped you from giggling with Ada and Carolyn about the prospect of having children, and other general gripes they had about men in general. After a particular loud fit of giggles, you found yourselves joined by Tuck, who’s little smile read intrigued; “What on Earth are you ladies talking about!?” “Oh, Tuck!” Ada sighed, stifling her laugher, “The prospect of having children!” He turned curiously to you, “Yes?” You shrugged; “Eventually I suppose. You would know better than I.” “Unfortunately that part of the Sheriff’s life remains a mystery to me.” But he winked gently, “I’ll see what I can figure out, don’t you worry!” “Well, thank you.” Although you mused on it for a second, “Although I suppose the whole idea is fairly presumptuous…” You trailed; it wasn’t something you had considered before this moment, but what if one or both of you were unable to actually have children? Tuck swayed from side to side as he mused that, “Well, there’s always the option of Foundling House.” “OH!” Ada nodded along, “That would be a secondary option – good idea Tuck!” You were glad they were all conversing and the focus was off you for a second, because the name itself shocked you back to a conversation you’d never forget. “Wait, wait, what!?” “You know, a Foundling House, like an orphanage?” Carolyn’s head tipped at the look on your face – which you could imagine was fighting very hard not to look horrified, “Do you, not have those?” Tuck shook his head; “No, Y/N, for accuracy it’s… more like... for abandoned, found children. Hence... foundling.” Suddenly that conversation was a hundred times worse than you had ever realised, and your hands flew to frame your face. “Y/N? Are you okay?” “No- No… I…” You sprang up, eyes flown wide, “Excuse me!” You were flying though the palace before you really knew where you were going, and even though everything was connecting in your head, there were pieces you couldn’t place. Wil had mentioned his father to you before, he said ‘that was after my father was gone’ and he’d also mentioned his family’s estate. But now Tuck was telling you he was abandoned? Perhaps? Abandoned and then left to the Churches mercy!?!? and now here. Not broken, not in a way that made him weak – but bendable, to their whims. What the Sheriff had been through was horrific. What you’d just been told made it so much worse. It wasn’t like, if his parents died, he was orphaned through no fault of his own. You’d just been told he was unwanted. No more. He turned in surprise to your hurried approach and placed the papers back on his desk not quite so ready to accept your embrace as you were to give it. Causing the Sheriff to stagger back a few paces. “Y/N…? Are you- Are you okay? Sweetheart?” You didn’t answer, burying your face in his jacket; you weren’t sure you could answer him, at least not appropriately. I want you… I will take care of you now… Wil sighed, winding his arms around you as your hold on him tightened. As if letting him go had never been an option. Running a hand through your hair he cleared his throat; “I don’t know what I did to deserve your affections, but, I love you too.” You immediately pulled back, staring up into his eyes, unable to hide your shock; “You… you…?!” You weren’t sure if it was deliberate and he’d meant to say it, or it’d simply slipped out as an afterthought, but you couldn’t help but laugh happily and take his face in your hands before kissing him. The tears were happy too; no matter what had been said downstairs. You stayed like that for a while, doing nothing more than looking into each other’s eyes. With Wil’s arms around you like this you were content to remain here forever; and by the smile on his face every word out of his mouth was sincere. It was about time you said the same – but he had used the word ‘too’. He knew you loved him; the Sheriff didn’t need to hear you say it out loud. He never had.

I can hear everything you don’t say…

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Thank you for reading this! You guys are real ones! Thank you for bearing with me on updating this! 😅😅😅 I hope this point was worth the wait!

#Ben Mendelsohn #Sheriff Of Nottingham #Robin Hood 2018 #Sheriff of Nottingham x Reader #Raina #Linzi Writes #Smol Bean Drabbles #176

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

Black Coffee - Nolan Sorrento x Reader (Ready Player One)

GIF Credit: X

@mandy23b @wltz-bby @happyskywhale #MendoTagSquad!

Nolan Sorrento + 15 - “I’d kill for a coffee... literally.” Yo @mendelskrull - I remember a tag of yours once saying that you also love the CEO x PA trope, so I went full on with this! Please enjoy! 😘❤

Author’s Note: I think this was originally just meant to be a cute watching him make coffee scenario and then I kind kept building on it and now we have this. I’m really coming into my own with writing for him - considering how hard it’s been for me in the past... Anyway, I really like this one. It was a lot of fun!

Disclaimer: RPO Characters not mine / lyrics not mine / gif credit as appropriate (Thanks again Joss!)

Premise: As much as you like bringing coffee to your CEO, it’s just as enjoyable when he returns the favour. Maybe you can persuade him that it’s not the only thing that can wake him up this morning...

Words: 2580

Warnings: sexual connotations

_________ Day dreamin', chain smokin' Always laughin', always jokin' I remain the same Did I tell you that I love you? Brush your teeth and pour a cup of Black coffee out - I love to watch you do that every day The little things that you do Each moment is new Freeze the moment Each moment is cool Freeze the moment I wouldn't wanna be Anywhere else but here I wouldn't wanna change Anything at all

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Both of you were rushing. You weren’t exactly sure why, because the CEO of IOI was never late for anything, not even a supplier meeting – even when he was probably running five minutes behind schedule. You might shoulder the blame for trying to catch him just before he ought to be heading to it, but a certain someone decided to drag you into his office for a makeout session and now had to run halfway across the building to his meeting room. With you giving chase if only to go through what you ACTUALLY had to remind him of, and what you’d tried to catch him for in the first place. Eventually Nolan realised the same as you – he couldn’t be late! - and slowed down; heck, he didn’t want to turn up to a meeting out of breath as it was, that would raise a bunch of awkward questions. So you actually got to tick things off your list as he instructed you. And finally you got to the one you were the most curious about; “Oh! Nolan! Why does your dentist keep ringing? It’s the 5th time this week!” You’d had the note on your desk for the past few weeks, but it was always something he’d get to - you were started to get annoyed at having to pick up the phone to them. His face flushed, “Oh don’t worry about it!” “Well I do worry when I ring back and they’ll only talk to you!” You narrowed your eyes at him, “I’m your assistant Nolan, it’s literally my job to book things like this-!” “It’ll be okay!” He waved away your suggestion. “Really? Nolan! What are you doing to your teeth-?!” “Nothing-!” But his voice pitched and you reckoned that couldn’t be further from the truth. “Your teeth are fine the way they are! I like them...” Then your head tilted, “Well, okay, maybe if you smoked a little less.” He scoffed, giving you a sharp look, “That’s enough outta you!” But you thought it was important to also keep his health at the forefront of your mind. Nolan’s smoking habit was casual, but he still did it.

As you rounded the corner to the meeting room Nolan stopped dead, and it became clear that he hadn’t made a note of exactly what he was about to walk into. “Oh god who invited them-!” No, they certainly weren’t one of his favourite vendors, he’d made that apparent when he asked you to book it in. “Uhhh, it’s been on your calendar for like 2 weeks.” “Really?!” “Mhm - I did remind you yesterday morning.” “I was a little... distracted yesterday morning.” He better not have been blaming you again. “Uh huh.” You pushed the folder in your hands into his arms, and waited for his hesitant hands to take it, this was only one part of what he needed and you needed Nolan to focus on you right now so you could hand it all over, “Go get ‘em.” It was at least a little sarcastic, he would hate every second. “Oh god…” He blew out a breath, free hand to his forehead, “I’d kill for a coffee... literally.” - yeah, it’d be them being killed, too. “Black?” It was like an instant response, with a soft smile He smiled, “You know my order by now, c’mon.” “Well,” you grinned “just wanted to check you didn’t want it extra strong-!” You knew how much Nolan hated this particular group of suppliers. “Ehh, good call, wouldn’t go amiss-!” “Will you need anything else, Sir?” You handed his tablet over, files he’d need for the meeting already pulled up, awaiting him to call upon them. “No, thank you Y/N, this should be sufficient.” You smiled sweetly, the gentle touch to his arm encouraging, “You’ve got this.” His hand hovered over yours for a minute, but he didn’t touch you – remembering himself, “I surely have.” You liked the confidence in his smile. You gave a nod, turning to leave and then back to him; “Should I get one for anyone else?” For one, you knew that to bring him one you would have to walk into the meeting with it – and people would become curious as to why they weren’t all being offered coffee. Nolan immediately scoffed; “NO.” You sighed, knowing that was hardly the way to treat important guests even if he despised them, “I’ll have some sent up and I’ll go out for yours.” He nodded in agreement, “This is the kind of thinking I hired you for, right?” There was a sudden glint in your eyes that made Nolan shiver; “Sure, if that’s what you tell yourself.” But immediately that sugar sweet smile was back “I’ll make sure I don’t send up the good coffee!” Then you winked, “Have a good meeting, Sir.” You got halfway down the corridor before you remembered one last important thing coming up; and luckily, as you expected, Nolan was watching you leave. He always was predictable. “Oh! You’re ready for the conference next week, right?” “Yeah! Yeah! It’s gonna be a good one - presentation and notes being reviewed as we speak-!” “As long as you’re on top of things-!” You nodded and turned to go make him coffee, but Nolan called you back. “Oh! Y/N!” “Mhm?” “You are coming to the conference with me, right? I’m gonna need someone to keep track of things for me...” You smiled “Yes, I’m going with you. That is my job, Sir.” Nolan nodded, mind already wandering, “Good... that’s good.” “Anything else?” “No, no, Y/N - carry on-!”

*** The conference was four days long, starting on a Sunday of all days. Which meant you both arrived on Saturday, to give you a day to settle in. Two rooms were always booked, only one was ever used. You thought you were either IOI’s best kept, or worst kept, secret. No one ever acted like they knew, or even hinted it – but it wasn’t like Nolan made anything about his flirting or checking you out subtle. You’d seen him lean back in his chair with a raised eyebrow, rolling his tongue over his bottom lip at your too high heels and too short skirt before (not that you thought these things, but occasionally some of the bitches that worked here would make comments of their own.). Not that you minded, half of your work wardrobe you picked out and wore for him. The first day had been a lot of fun, he’d had a few client meetings, but aside from that, it had been wandering around stands and prospecting. IOI had their own of course, and Nolan had spent a long time making sure it was perfect, before thanking everyone manning it for being here. He of course was giving a workshop of his own – not only that, but he was Tuesday’s keynote speaker. A very important role. You were here to make sure everything ran smoothly, that Nolan was where he was supposed to be at the right times, that he had everything he needed and that you were picking up all his emails & calls whilst he was busy. Such was your role as his PA. But a role you couldn’t have enjoyed more if you’d tried. You liked reading emails to him out loud in your most sarcastic tone depending on what people had sent him, and Nolan would ask you to type his reply just as sarcastically, which most of the time would have you in stitches. Before he had enough of you standing around in his button up and dragged you to bed for something he would consider far more fun. With Sunday out of the way, and Monday consisting of a celebrity Keynote, and some workshops Nolan wished to attend himself – you weren’t that bothered about settling into your day until this afternoon, where you’d have to set the room up for him. Although you were checking in with IOI news as he got ready, enjoying the background noise of him pacing the room to get washed and dressed; the scratch of his razor against his skin, the slide of silk tie against cotton shirt, click of watch strap into place. “How we doing?” “Stock is up.” You mumbled, smiling gently as he leant over to kiss your shoulder, “…Matthew’s rerun sales numbers and they’re better than projected… uhm, Carlo says there’s a routine system upgrade tomorrow but you should know about it?” “UH. I think I remember him mentioning, it yeah…” You glanced at him over your shoulder as he neatened his hair in the mirror. That kind of response meant that Nolan didn’t have a clue, you rolled your eyes, typical. At least you were on top of things. “Also…” You rolled yourself in the sheets so you were facing the end of the bed and the wider room where he was, “I need to run through your day, even though I’ve pinged it to your calendar, so I know that I’ve told you-!” Nolan chuckled, crossing the room to the coffee machine, “You don’t trust me, huh?” “You wouldn’t want me to be honest, would you sir?” You were lucky that raise a smirk rather than an upset look – he knew you were teasing. He poured – Nolan had this very meticulous slow pour, and always bit his lip when he concentrated on it. As his name would suggest – he would insist that Italian coffee was the only good coffee, and when he made it the way that he did, you weren’t about to disagree with him. You groaned from the bed watching him, even the position he stood in gave you all the lines of his body under that sharp suit. Apparently it was a little louder than you expected by the way he turned to you with a smirk; “You okay over there, darling?” It was your turn to bite your lip as he stirred in just the correct amount of sugar for you, and a dash of milk – you were not the black coffee drinker here. “I would be if you came back to bed.” “Oh no…” Nolan’s voice was sultry as he walked back over, holding the mug out for you he ran a hand through your hair, just enough of a tug to force you to look up at him. Your lips parted and his blue eyes flashed, “I should let you recover from last night.” You shivered in delight at the way he was looking at you, and your body was already telling you that recovery was the last thing it wanted. You took the cup quickly, clearing your throat and looking away from him as you blushed. “J-Just let me tell you your schedule!” “Oh my god, will you just stop until I’ve had some of this.” He waved his hand and slid back over to the machine to pour his own – straight black, with no sweetness. The kind of coffee a ruthless CEO would drink. You knew there was a lot of sweetness under there, he just didn’t show it to anyone else. Nolan came back and sat beside you, sipping his coffee thoughtfully and nodding along as you relayed the schedule to him – propped up on one arm as you read from the tablet. Every so often he had several presentations at the same time that he’d have to choose from, or some that might conflict with client meetings; “You can send someone else to the meeting… or… I could go to the workshop for you and report back?” He regarded you with playful curiosity; “Oh? You’d be interested in some of these?” “They do sound rather good – yeah.” You blinked up at him, “You’re a little more interesting.” “Oh really?” Nolan grinned, taking a gulp of coffee and leaning over your shoulder to pick some out with your help. Eventually you had three days’ worth of scheduling down (for him and yourself), and if he wanted to go to the keynote and his first workshop he ought to be leaving your side right now. Instead he was taking his time, sweet talking you and finishing his coffee. With his casual string of flirting, and your body still telling you to drag him back to bed and relieve him of that suit and tie, you couldn’t help but nearly beg him to stay. You couldn’t even talk for fear of what might come out of your mouth, only sipping your coffee as you listened to him. Watching the nuances of his face, and the way he moved his hands; Nolan had a lot of ticks and tells – and they all meant something different. It was as much your job to read these as his employee, as it was your job as his lover. But each one was fascinating – and today every movement was the story of a man that couldn’t leave; but knew he should. You took your final sip and placed the mug on the floor before looking back to him; “Nolan.” “Yes?” “Don’t you think you should be heading off?” Nolan hesitated, as if that didn’t say everything; “…Kicking me out now?” “I just don’t want to see the CEO I’m looking after be reprimanded for being late.” He tipped his mug back and set it, empty, next to yours. “Well, my PA probably has a point…” He straightened his cuffs and brushed himself down, before turning to you. But he paused and this was a fatal mistake. You’d had enough – and Nolan was hesitating – you reached out and grabbed his tie, tugging him to your lips. The sheets slipped from your body and he covered you instead – causing your needy sigh against his lips. “Y- Y/N…” He swallowed hard, “If you’re so insistent I go, then I really should.” But you were both playing the game of who could hold out the longest – who would be the one to say it? Truth was you weren’t so concerned with winning the game – just with having him back between your thighs under the sheets. “Just come back to bed... it’s not that important, right?” Nolan scoffed, but his hands were already finding yours, and he wasn’t using them to hinder your progress on his tie; “You’re the one who spent the last 30 minutes telling me how important my schedule is.” “As if you don’t change it on me last minute all the time when we’re in the office?” You raised an eyebrow and mocked his voice; “OH, Y/N, really – please, not this meeting. Push it out.” He growled, displeased, before claiming your lips roughly again, “If I wasted good coffee for nothing.” “I got to watch you make it, certainly not a waste of anything.” You pulled him back so that you could taste him; it almost tasted better from his kisses than it did from a cup. “Oh? Do you get off on that?” You gave him a wink, “It’s the little pleasures, Nolan Sorrento. About time someone taught you that…” He laid you back properly, placing a kiss to your neck, and again to your shoulder. “Well, I would like to learn…” His hands ran smoothly down your body and you sighed against the travel, “Maybe you could be my first workshop of the day.” You smirked, winding your arms around him and running your hands into his hair; “Gladly, Mr.Sorrento.” As it turned out the conference that morning wasn’t so important after all.

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7/16 - Nearly at the halfway point!!! Thank you for requesting! 💙 Thank YOU for reading! 😘😘

#nolan sorrento #nolan sorrento x reader #ready player one #ben mendelsohn #There will never be enough Nolan Sorrento on my blog #Fun fact: I've already used the song /coffee/ - there's a draft called /black/ and this one is /black coffee/#Linzi Writes #Linzi Writes requests #smol bean drabbles #SO this is more a /the sentence is the theme/#I'm very surprised this needed very little editing! Which is a nice change #But it was kinda find the way it was :)#But some is from my phone notes so when copying it over i usually do a little bit of editing...#Theres SOOOOO much Nolan in my drafts at the moment oh my goodness #how did THAT happen #159 #YOOOO Dave is gonna me my 160? That makes me irrationally happy!#i forgot that I added the teeth thing and spent 10 minutes laughing at myself #Look it doesn't bother me but I thought at some point someone was gonna have to ask the question or mention it!!

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

Beat This Summer - Nolan Sorrento x Reader (Ready Player One)

GIF CREDIT: X

@mandy23b @wltz-bby @happyskywhale #mendotagsquad

Nolan Sorrento + 47: “Dogs don’t wear clothes!” Requested by @mysticaltimemachinewench

Author’s Note: Okay, this one took a little time. And I was already thinking of a vacation premise with Nolan, then kinda worked the dogs into it - and then *bam* this one hit me-! Also while doing all my research it all kinda just fell into place and I couldn’t believe how perfectly. Please enjoy! 😁 @mendelskrull - Shoutout for your help around vacationing in Sorrento, I hope I did it justice!

Beat This Summer - Brad Paisley

Disclaimer: RPO characters not mine / gif not mine / lyrics not mine / a teeny-tiny reference to Tron Legacy for those that haven’t seen it

Premise: While on a much needed vacation in Italy, Nolan Sorrento decides he’s the dog fashion police.

Words: 2746

Warnings: N/A - a slight sexual reference and he’s drinking.

_____ Like the Ferris wheel goes around and around Well the trouble with up is there's always a down First I'm holding your hand and we're on the boardwalk There's heaven right here on these streets and these docks But the sun keeps setting and the days go fast And the sand on the beach is like an hourglass And I can just feel it, I'm slipping away And babe, I can already say As long as I live, whatever I do As great as it is you know what's a bummer I ain't never gonna beat this summer with you Baby, it's true The taste in your kiss is so bittersweet I ain't gonna beat, no way I'm gonna beat this summer with you Maybe I know that it ain't over yet So let's make the most of what we have left But it's hard living for this moment we're in Knowing it's all gonna end Looking at you, girl, standing there, Got your wayfarer's on and the sun in your hair And just like the song in a seashell, you'll be stuck in mind Bouncing around in my head And baby, I can tell As long as I live, whatever I do Baby, it's true I ain't gonna beat, no way I'm gonna beat this summer with you

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It won’t always be like this... you found yourself thinking as you sat there outside that little cafe. Even if you wished it could be. Even if part of you felt like you never wanted to leave. He would have to - you didn’t see them letting him run the company from here... and Nolan didn’t have anything with him to help him run the company. Besides a tablet - which he was allowed to check once a day for anything urgent and then you hid it away again.

The holiday had been your suggestion. Nolan looked like he needed a break, in your opinion he also more than deserved it. He’d worked so hard for so long and neither of you had had a proper holiday for at least a year. In fact, a rather lasting memory for you was that he blew off the last vacation for something that IOI “urgently” needed him for and you had to go alone. Even though you were away and relaxing, it was one of your worst weeks. This time, no wasn’t an option. Nolan Sorrento was coming on holiday with you and unwinding, even if he complained the whole time; and what better place to go than Italy. Sorrento, Italy, of course! You could only assume that given the namesake his ancestral lineage would trace back here. Nolan didn’t complain even once - he didn’t even roll his eyes when you suggested it as a place to go. He’d been once before, but not with you, and he’d been younger then. Before everything in the world had turned fairly dystopian. Sorrento was still fairly untouched by that though; still a popular tourist destination (for those that could afford such things). There were the occasional VR headsets, but you hadn’t seen one IOI advert. Life was better here - another reason why you thought Nolan might be acting more settled. You made the note in the back of your head that maybe moving to Europe would be a good plan, in future, even if you had to wait until he retired and IOI were using him as a chairman (bonus if he looked a little like Alan in Tron Legacy. You could visualise that; wondering for a second what Nolan would look like with glasses).

You’d had a really fantastic holiday so far, and you still had a few days left... but you were already worried about it ending. Sad that he’d soon enough be slipping back into a suit at some ungodly hour in the morning and kissing you goodbye until just as ridiculously late in the evening. That made you more determined to sit and enjoy it while you could. And whilst you sat here staring at him this morning sipping coffee and red wine (Yes. Really. - but of course your wine connoisseur was going to do such a thing ‘My dear! This is Italy!’ and you teasing back, with what you had learned about the city you were visiting ‘But then surely you should be sipping limoncello?!’, ending with Nolan giving you a sharp look), you couldn’t help but reminisce your holiday.

It hadn’t all been picturesque squares and coastline – although the Amalfi coast was known for that – in Sorrento itself you’d had the opportunity to visit small museums (art and archaeological), pretty churches and colonnades, go down to the bay and marina to sit and watch the boats sail in and out across the sea, probably about every ice cream parlour that Nolan would allow you to drag him into, and quaint shopping streets, including market day – a tradition not broken by the state of the world and maybe one of your favourite days so far. Of course you hadn’t missed the opportunity to watch Limoncello being produced and the reason Nolan had probably given you such a look was because you continued to make the same joke every time he ordered wine instead – despite his insistence that wine from Campania was still fantastic. Outside of the city you’d been able to get a little more cultural; Naples, Pompeii, Vesuvius where you could both wax lyrical about ancient history together – a mutual interest - and Sorrento was also near a quiet marine reserve with stunning views of its own. And as if all that wasn’t enough on its own, he’d also whisked you across the water to the ever popular island of Capri. You felt a million miles from what you were used to in Columbus; it couldn’t have been any wonder why you wanted to stay here.

You were only slightly snapped back to reality by the waiter coming to check on things; you use the word slightly because, although it had taken you out of your daydreams, Nolan was now speaking Italian. And you were fast discovering there was no better sound in the universe - you didn’t think you’d ever been so besotted with something so completely in your life. You were talking full on heart eyes. You didn’t understand much of it, but it just sounded so good with that voice of his. You shuddered slightly in delight and you could tell he’d caught it from the corner of his eye because Nolan smirked - even if his full attention was on the back and forth banter. More than once you’d thought about being brave enough to ask him to use it in far more intimate situations. Maybe tonight. Tonight you were going to the best drinks terrace in the city to watch the sunset - Nolan’s words, still after everywhere he’d taken you so far, you’d believe him - yet you’re craving of it would have to wait, even though he’d would continue using Italian all day. The café you were sitting in was on Plaza Tasso, lined with little places like this you weren’t sure how Nolan managed to determine that this was also the best one. Perhaps because he’d been before; but he probably wasn’t far wrong. In the late morning sun, you were sure that this was about to drift its way into early lunch as Nolan hadn’t had an inkling of giving you a rundown of his planned day. He had no inclination to move right now either and leant back in his chair for a minute with a smile. He'd looked good all holiday, but there was something about him in the sun right now; in a nice button up shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows, and shorts – Nolan’s shades were back in his hair and the constant bright weather has turned it a beautiful silver grey. You would also attribute the sun today to how dazzling the blue in his eyes looked and, as a further blessing that was only making you sit and swoon harder, his freckles were out… ‘Oh god… oh my god… he’s so beautiful!’ You were sitting to the table leaning on your hands and hanging onto every word he said, even when you didn’t understand the language. Until Nolan turned those eyes on you, biting his lip as he smiled and traced his gaze over you – telling you how great you looked today. Your face was heating up and that, in particular, had nothing to do with the hot sunshine, you were beaming so much your face was aching, and he knew it. So Nolan spent his time trying to make you smile more, and laugh more, to the point where you were forced to cover your face and yet that only made him turn up the sweet talk. “Please… Nolan! A girl can only take so much.” “Uh huh…” He grinned with a little wink, “And yet,” Nolan indicated around him, “In a city as beautiful as this, it’s clear to me that the most stunning sight is right in front of me.” “NOLAN!!” You could only imagine the shade of red you were turning. “Aw, come now, Y/N, don’t deny it.” You would; you were never one for taking compliments without hiding behind your hands. Nolan at best would deflect them with a bashful smile, but usually gave you a look that told you to please carry on. Today Nolan was content on giving them, he was receiving enough just from the looks you were giving him. He would revel in that attention; and couldn’t help but be a little smug about it. You were content to sit in silence and stare at him; but Nolan did eventually get to telling you about what he was thinking your day would entail – with the promise of that terrace this evening though, it was certainly going to be a more relaxing day. You were ready for that and would have been content to stay with him in bed all day – you weren’t going to complain though when he was a vision in sunlight. Sweet talk and small talk persisted as you continued to sip your drinks, and soon enough the table was filled with empty glasses and cups, and Nolan was asking for the lunch menu. No, moving on was happening no time soon – and you were still enamoured with each other. Just about the time you started thinking that though, Nolan’s eyeline moved from you to just behind, and he raised an eyebrow. You probably wouldn’t have noticed, if his coffee cup hadn’t been half way to his lips – now frozen. “What?” You looked in the direction he was staring but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Nolan had other ideas. “Hold on. What!?” You watched his eyes follow a woman and a dog and wondered why he looked so incensed. To you she looked like a typical Italian woman, dressed well – maybe a little too well to be walking through town with a dog, but each to their own – with a dog walking obediently on a lead. Nolan’s voice very nearly pitched; "No! That’s not right-! What is going on-!!?” You raised an eyebrow at him and then looked back; the dog itself was also dressed: dress shirt, waistcoat, bow tie. And you leant on your hand again with a smile; “Aww!! It’s so cute!” Nolan immediately snorted, “NO it’s not-! Dogs don’t wear clothes-!” Oh, that was his problem-!? It was making you think back to when you were younger and the dog you used to have, he had many outfits that you loved to dress him up in: from the cute, to sophisticated, to absolutely hysterical. They were fond memories, and you found yourself smiling as you reminisced; “When I was growing up I had a dog: we used to dress him up and it was so sweet!” You saw Nolan cringe out of the corner of your eye and you wondered if he was cringing at the scenario in front of him, or the fact that he’d said such a thing and with your anecdote he’d probably felt as if he’d screwed up big time. You wouldn’t hold it against him, but maybe you wouldn’t tell him that for a while – and you’d let him stew with the embarrassment. He cleared his throat, sliding his shades down over his eyes so you didn’t catch them emoting; “If you say so…” “I do-! It’s just a fine-looking lady with a handsome dog-! What’s wrong with that-!? Who made you the killjoy police?! Or are you the fashion police?” “I think I lost fashion police status a little while ago.” “Or you’re a rookie.” You thought on it, “The suits are sharp. Your intern days… ehhhhh… But I’ll forgive you, everyone has a glow up no matter how late.” He tried to keep a straight face but gave in and chuckled, “Thanks-!” Your eyes were drawn to the sound of barking from the other side of the plaza, and you realised that this dressed dog was not alone. In fact there were many well-dressed Italians walking well-dressed dogs; in suits and pretty dresses – a fashion show? For dogs? Surely not! Suddenly you gasped, realising that they were all heading out of the church. A wedding procession! Your hand went to your mouth, because there was no way you were letting Nolan realise how much you were smiling at that. “Oh my god…” He murmured, realising. All the guests and their dogs were dressed beautifully that much was true, but the bride and groom looked flawless. And, as you might expect, their dogs were in a matching dress and suit. You wouldn’t be surprised if they were essentially the best man and flower girl. But the matching really got you – and the whole idea was wonderful. The guests had been allowed to bring their dogs; and had dressed them appropriately. And with the sun shining down on them today, the wedding party looked glorious – they were all so happy and smiling. And the bride and groom looked so in love. You immediately looked over to your partner, pleased to see this hadn’t gone unnoticed, and despite his protest to the dressed dogs, there was a little smile on his face. Small it might have been, but significant. Nolan recognised the way they were looking at each other to be similar to the way you had both been flirting over these drinks. You wondered if he thought about the possibility of marriage as often as you did. If Nolan was even that traditional… and his smile only broadened as you continued to stare across at him. “You’re missing the pictures you know!” He grinned, still watching the square. “Yes…” You mused, “But, part of me wishes I could take pictures of this.” He laughed, shaking his head, and you saw that small bashful smile he tried to hide; “Uh huh…” You looked back to the dogs again, how cute and happy they looked, feeding off every owners energy – as if they also knew the significance of the day. “But Nolan don’t they look so CUTE!! They’re all dressed so well-!” Nolan picked up his wine glass and took a sip, making you wonder if he really needed a drink for this. He didn’t agree with you, instead he looked across to you – and even behind those shades you knew exactly the look in his eyes. “Don’t get ANY ideas-!!!” You immediately straightened in your chair, attentive to his sentence and its implications; “Are you gonna propose?!” He scoffed, folding his arms to immediately shut your excitement down before it became uncontrollable; “Hell nah! If I was gonna do that I would have done it on the way to Capri!” Ah-! Yes; not only was Capri really beautiful, but Nolan insisted that instead of taking you over on a private boat (you were surprised), you had to go over on a tourist boat. As you had continued to sail towards the island however you realised why, as Nolan took your hand and you found yourselves sailing under a rock formation shaped like a heart. If you didn’t think that was pretty and romantic enough; your guide was not opposed to cranking up the love songs – and then apparently as tradition, all the couples onboard kissed. Which of course Nolan knew, so when the romantic music started and you got a little confused you only had to look to that smirk on his face to know he’d planned this one out too. For the record it was a good kiss, and he held your hand tight, unopposed to stealing more than one. Now he mentioned it, the heart grotto would have been a pretty ideal place to propose to someone. Nolan pressed his fingers to his lips; “Oh god, would that be too cliché?!” Your eyes were wide just thinking on the prospect and the way he now seemed to be in too much denial; “Boy! Say sike! You’re gonna propose!” He totally was, he had to be. Nolan pushed his shades back and turned his gorgeous blue eyes on you. This time he was firm; “No! I’m not! I’m not! Stop it! If that’s what you want, you’ll be disappointed.” You sighed gently, accepting that that wasn’t to be your fate on this holiday, but maybe soon. It was after all a not now, rather than a dead set against it. As you settled down once more to watch the dogs in the wedding party with that pretty, absentminded smile Nolan was only watching you. With a gentle smile of his own; One day I will... darling... I promise you, that will be us, one day...

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10/16! More than half way! Home Stretch time!! Thank you for reading!!! 💜💙

#Mysticaltimemachinewench #Nolan Sorrento #Nolan Sorrento x Reader #Ready Player One #Ben Mendelsohn #There will never be enough Nolan Sorrento on my blog #Linzi Writes #Linzi Writes Requests #Smol Bean Drabbles #165 #Amanda your /Say Sike!/ phrase got in here #And I made my first Tron reference which will now follow Nolan around #Even though really Alan in Legacy is my Keller with Grandbabies reference!#This one is lighthearted and silly and cute but I hope you enjoy!

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

Control - Ralph Anderson x Shifter!Reader 2 (The Outsider)

Sequel to Halfway Home

@mandy23b @wltz-bby @happyskywhale #mendotagsquad

Author’s Note: This song, this damn song, oh my god. I confess I hadn’t listened to any Halsey at all (besides a couple of collabs with other artists I like) until I was music swapping with @mandy23b... But I honestly don’t think I’ve loved an album this much lyrically in a very long time! Anyway, a second part was always in the works. This song for sure inspired the finish of it.

Thank you @mendelskrull and @crawlingmist I really REALLY hope the sequel was worth the wait 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Control - Halsey

Disclaimer: gif not mine / lyrics not mine / The Outsider & all associated characters not my property!

I wrote this before I read ‘If It Bleeds’ but I see the immediate eerie similarities in my Shifter species. I think I might cover it off in the finale...

Premise: After a particularly erratic encounter with Ralph Anderson, you wait on your fate... can you trust the Detective to make the right choice? Can he trust you, at all?

Words: 5737

Warnings: Swearing

⚠ Major Angst/Hurt Caution Warning (Again) ⚠

_____

They send me away to find them a fortune A chest filled with diamonds and gold The house was awake, the shadows and monsters The hallways, they echoed and groaned

I sat alone, in bed till the morning I'm crying, "They're coming for me" And I tried to hold these secrets inside me My mind's like a deadly disease

I paced around for hours on empty I jumped at the slightest of sounds And I couldn't stand the person inside me I turned all the mirrors around

I'm bigger than my body I'm colder than this home I'm meaner than my demons I'm bigger than these bones

And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me" I can't help this awful energy God damn right, you should be scared of me Who is in control?

---

Your first visitor the following morning surprised you. You thought Ralph might just have blanket banned the entire city from seeing you, but apparently some just wanted to break the rules. DA Kenneth Hayes stood hesitantly in the doorway watching you, clutching papers close to his chest – and you were inquisitive enough to wonder if he was about to serve you, or, you were going to be dragged into a questioning room. You sat yourself straight against the wall and folded your arms; “What will it be Hayes?” He jumped, and for a moment you thought you’d get a good laugh out of the papers scattering – no such luck though. “Detective Anderson has already appeared to have considered the full 48 hours. I just hoped as the DA you’d be able to shed a little light on the subject.” He was staring at you like he couldn’t believe you were talking, like an animal had suddenly found a human voice. You weren’t in the mood; “Look if you can’t tell me anything-” “Ralph told us to stay away from you.” “Then why are you here?” You realised how exasperated you sounded, but you hardly cared. “Are you… are you really…?” It was obvious that Hayes couldn’t bear to even voice it. “Yes. I am what he says I am. No, I didn’t have a hand in anything that happened here…” You tilted your head, “I don’t see why it has much consequence to you. They didn’t even tell you.” “But I know now.” You sighed; “Hayes just put me out of my misery, what’s the big plan!? I know I’m behind bars but I’m not an animal in a zoo.” Your eyes flashed, and it caused him to step back, truth was you were no longer trying to hide it, and they could all blame Ralph for that. “Least you could do is stop gawking at me like I’m about to spring into some kind of murderous, child-killing rampage, or change form.” He swallowed, “Ralph has it all planned out and I trust him.” “You know he put a gun to my head yesterday, right?” “I’m aware.” “Sounds like intent to me.” You scoffed, “I suppose to you I wouldn’t come under the remit of human rights, huh?” The way your eyes were burning an odd iridescent silver, and emitting light the way they were, made Hayes even more uneasy than just the thought of you really being a Shapeshifter, and he backed away – heart racing, “Good day, Y/N.” You shook your head after him with a roll of your eyes – Humans had always been so typical. Part of you wished for the days of old, when your kind was fascinating, mystifying and worshiped – and you could all coexist. Before humans, as they did, got ideas beyond their station. Now you were still revered, but not for being so unusual – for the thought alone that you could threaten their existence. People like Kenneth Hayes would brush this off as a bad dream and would never allow it to be mentioned or lingered on again, even if it was witnessed. Ralph would never forget – and it would scar him deep; that was without the added heartbreak of you. You were the final nail in the coffin for your beloved detective. You were sitting against the bars with your eyes closed the next time someone joined you. And you were immediately suspicious by the level of calm they issued – for one, you weren’t even in the mood to have visitors now. Ralph hadn’t come by, and by now you were thinking of refusing an apology if he even offered one. “Go away.” You groaned softly, “I don’t need you all staring at me like I’m some form of entertainment.” There was a tap against the bars and you cracked your eye open, greeted by a disposable coffee cup; “I’d rather make sure you were okay.” You took the cup from Detective Sablo, “Why? You were in Tennessee too. Your best friend know you’re doing this?” Yune sighed as he crossed the room to sit on the bench opposite your cell; “He’s not my best friend.” “Yeah he is…” You took a sip, and hummed in gratitude; he’d remembered your coffee order. Yune smiled gently; “I’m not afraid of you.” “You should be. He is.” “He loves you.” “Loved. I think you’ll find.” And you’d not forget that soon enough, your heart still greeted you with a sharp pain in remembrance. “Ralph’ll come around.” You indicated to the cell that you were stuck in, and it made him grimace, “Okay, I know. It’ll be a long time…” He ran his hands through his hair, “But I believe in the two of you – Look, Y/N, I want all of us to get out of this… I’ll talk to him; we’ll get you out of here. I promise.” “I’m not sure he wants to see me.” You took a few gulps of coffee, “At least not alive.” “Ralph’s not like that, you know he’s not like that.” You finished the cup and placed it outside of the cell for him to collect. “Yune, answer me one question.” He nodded, ready for it, and you breathed, “Who killed the Shifter in Tennessee?” “…I think it was a joint effort.” “Answer the question.” “I wasn’t there-” “Yune!” He had to realise that skipping around it was just as bad as what you knew the answer was. He swallowed hard, and couldn’t meet your eyes, “Ralph did.” You gave him a pointed look; which made his statement all but useless, “RALPH did.” *** Surprisingly Ralph Anderson did make his way down to you. You thought he might leave it the full two days and deal with you when he had to let you go, or when Hayes had figured out something that would lead to you spending a lot of time in prison. Maybe they’d even work out a way to pin the death penalty on you. You wondered if it’d work – but you weren’t sure you wanted to be the test subject. Or maybe he’d found a lab somewhere that was going to take you in – despite the fact that he’d spent the later part of his threats yesterday telling you that he’d rather no one knew you existed. You were back to lying on your bed and studying yourself with a depth of self-hatred – that this was something you’d chosen for yourself. That if Ralph Anderson came face to face with the real you, he probably wouldn’t have hesitated with pulling that trigger. That the blood flowing through your veins looked like the ink Ralph would make notes with in every interview he’d ever conducted, otherworldly, ethereal… dark and cold – rather than the rich red that could be associated with such emotions as anger, love and passion. The kind of emotions that were easy to feed on – your preference was love. Love was strong, and it only got stronger, and even when it wasn’t some kind of all raging passion when two people were all over each other, it was still there. And if you could surround yourself with couples (particularly those that had been in love a long time) you were at your happiest; and also your strongest. You supposed your Cherokee City counterpart had the same edge, but for fear, anger and total chaos. You could eat like a human, but you could sustain yourself on emotion alone. If he’d chosen a better path, he would have been able to as well – but he had to cause the pain he fed on. Which is why he had to move so frequently. After all, you couldn’t keep those close that you made angry or fearful of you – let alone if they died. But if someone loved you, if someone really loved you, you could live the rest of your life on them alone. You’d spent the best four years of your life living on his. But that was not the emotion that overtook Ralph Anderson’s body as he entered the room. It never would be again. You turned your head to him, and were met with that icy steel blue; calmer than last night, which you were glad of – you didn’t want to have to face that erratic anger again. But it hurt you; because your heart stirred just to see his face, and you had to push all of that back once more. He kept track of your every movement, but said nothing. When Ralph was satisfied, he opened the door; “Out.” You raised yourself, “What, they didn’t give you the full 48?” His eyes narrowed slightly; “I said out.” You stood and he unlatched the handcuffs from his belt “Hands front.” You raised an eyebrow in questioning but did as he asked. This was even more painful for Ralph – half of him felt terrible for going so out of control yesterday; half of him knew he was face to face with a monster, a woman who had lied to him for four years and broken his heart. He wasn’t about to apologise – and didn’t think you were either. He still kept his eyes on you as he picked up the bag, hating the fact that you were wearing one of his favourite shirts – he should never have given you that. But Ralph didn’t want any of your things in the house. He pulled himself upright to full height – you took half a step back, still not sure of exactly what he would do to you. You didn’t think Ralph knew himself. “Lets go.” He pulled you out of the cell and down the corridor – Ralph wasn’t about to tell you where of course, and it left you wondering if you were about to be met by a lawyer and a judge, and the same kind of water tight evidence that Terry Maitland had been. You supposed to the humans here your race deserved nothing less. And perhaps they were right. Humanity had never scared you; even when it had driven your race to hiding – you’d grown up around them, and you’d blended well. But humans had become the kind of scary stories told to children that ‘monsters’ were to them. Ralph’s reaction was simply proving every one of those stories true. When he pulled you back to the elevators you wondered if this was about to be Terry and the courthouse part II. Crowds of hundreds wanting a glimpse of a terrifying creature, and a few well aimed shots… “Stop it.” He growled, although he refused to look at you – talking to him was only going to make it worse, but upon flicking your eyes to the elevator doors you realised that all the thoughts in your head were causing your eyes to burn silver again. You blinked a couple of times and they returned to their ‘natural’ colour. Ralph gripped you tighter as he pushed you in, and as you found yourself in the parking lot, you were surprised to see there wasn’t a soul in sight. That only made you turn to him; “Where are we going?” He ignored you, pulling him along to his car and opening the back door – your stare was defiant and this time you demanded it, “WHERE are we going!?” “Get. In. The. Car.” Ralph’s voice shook with every syllable and you knew he was dangerously close to losing it with you again. He also probably didn’t like that you weren’t about to just let him order you around here, you’d always had a little bit of push about you – it was an aspect of your personality he really liked, especially when you were snarking someone he didn’t. Right now, Ralph didn’t need or want it – he just wanted you to get in the car so that he could do what he must. You only conceded because you weren’t sure you wanted that stalemate to end with getting shot – a little too aware of the pistol on his utility belt. He slammed the door on you and took a deep breath; it wouldn’t take much – he’d done it before. If he could keep a clear head, he could do it again – Ralph could finish this easily. All he had to do was get through this. *** You realised very quickly that you were heading for the city limits and sat up, twisting around in your seat. No court case? No going back home? You knew where the jail was and he certainly wasn’t heading that way. What was he doing? You bit your lip, knowing it couldn’t be good. Wondering if Ralph was numb to it all, or was simply that good at controlling his emotional output. It scared you that you weren’t sure of the answer. And suddenly you wished you didn’t know the answer to the question you’d asked Yune; one tear leaked and you rubbed your cheek on your shoulder to hide it, heck, now you wished you’d never asked that question in the first place. When Ralph finally stopped the car you weren’t sure ‘middle of nowhere’ covered it. You weren’t even sure what you were supposed to feel – and he’d been off-roading for so long he might well have been lost. Maybe Ralph Anderson wanted to get lost. It occurred to you that he might not want to be found out here; maybe he’d take that pistol and kill you before turning it on himself. Ralph didn’t seem like the type, but you felt perhaps now you’d seen him at his worst (what else would you call the previous evening), maybe he was… maybe he could do something that devastating. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel for a long time before he decisively shut the engine off – gathering his radio, cell phone, and gun, Ralph hopped from the car and pocketed all items before opening the back and dragging you out. Ralph marched you a little way from the vehicle and stood you roughly in the grassland before growling at you to stay still, and walking back towards the car. He stopped, maybe 10 paces from you and turned back. You blinked, but no emotions crossed your face. That only made him angrier, but Ralph wasn’t sure what he wanted to see out of you – blind rage and anger that would prove to him you really were the monster underneath your guise? Tears streaming down your face and begging him for mercy – as you rightly should be, after everything that had gone down in the past few months, after what you’d done to him for years. Maybe even controlled acceptance of your situation, that it had to end this way and you were alright with that. But there was nothing; not even that shiver inducing silver in your eyes. The silence eschewed and you found yourself looking around, fields and farmland to one side rolling for miles into hills, and a forest in the distance on the other – too far to think that even with your decent sprinting you could get into cover before he put a bullet in your body. Maybe if you weren’t human, but you weren’t about to give Ralph Anderson the satisfaction of seeing your true form. You looked back to him and took a step; “Look, whatever you’re gonna do… Will you just do it already.” The pistol was drawn immediately; “NOT another step.” “You’re really gonna use it this time-!?” You couldn’t help your cold laugh; “I swear to God Ralph Anderson, if you have it in you, it better be a good fucking shot.” If he wasn’t about to keep the venom out of his voice then neither would you. Ralph just shook his head. Paying more attention to his gun than you, he checked everything was in working order; “How could you do this-!? Do you not even think about what you’re doing to the person you’re with-!? How utterly selfish it is to play someone like that?” You flinched, pulling back a few paces – the metal of your restraints cutting into your wrists. What right did he have to ask you something like that? “Look at me, Ralph Anderson.” He didn’t. And this time you weren’t sure if you were crying from anger or because it was hurting you so much and you were just letting it; “RALPH! LOOK AT ME!” You yelled it, “Look me in the eye and tell me that even without the Frankie Peterson case, if I’d have told you what I was then you wouldn’t have reacted in exactly the same way-!” He raised his blue eyes to you, and he didn’t have to answer, the guilt was already there. “Tell me the second I said shapeshifter you wouldn’t have thought me insane – that the second I’d have shifted into someone else to show you, you wouldn’t have cast me out as a freak and wanted to use your damn pistol on me anyway.” “You could have HELPED the case!” “It’s NOT the case-! Stop pretending it’s the case! If you knew what I really was Ralph, you’d run 1000 fucking miles and not look back and you know it. The case!?” You looked around you again and now he could clearly see the tears running, “The case has put me in a field in handcuffs waiting for the man I love to kill me.” “NO. Don’t!” He held his hand up, “Don’t tell me you love me. You gave up that right.” “Then for Godsake Ralph,” you presented your body to him, “Just get it over with because I can’t take this.” your eyes narrowed, flickering again, “But don’t you dare presume to tell me that I can’t love you.” That was decisive enough and he swept his pistol up to aim for your head; yet Ralph knew he was thinking too much. He just wasn’t sure what the right thing to do was – wasn’t killing you just as bad as murdering someone? Sure, he’d killed one of you in Tennessee – but you weren’t an evil murdering entity (as far as he knew). You were you. And what Ralph would have to accept was that even if you were a monster, he couldn’t end your life without killing a part of himself. You watched all of this cross his face, even though his look maintained the utter hatred and disgust for what you really were, and you were soon yelling at him again; “Oh, why don’t you just aim for my heart—!!!!” He gritted his teeth; “Because that won’t work!” Hadn’t your counterpart taken a shot gun and a knife to the chest before he’d crushed its head with a rock? How many bullets would you take? Could he count on it being a one and done? You gave a shrug, wondering if there was just enough love in Ralph left for you to somehow talk him out of it, “For him maybe-! For me who knows-!” You focused acutely on his body, you knew that DNA so well by now; you could feel Ralph Anderson coursing through your veins even when he wasn’t a part of you. His breath was small, but still significant – the safety gave a click, and you realised this was the time to be anything that you could be but scared. Even if your fear was driving you to this. You didn’t really want to die, after all. You hadn’t come all this way in so many lifetimes for a Cherokee City detective to end your life in the middle of nowhere. “If shooting me is so easy for you, do it Ralph. But I should show you what you’ll do to yourself-!” Ralph would have asked you what the hell you meant. Ralph would have asked a million questions that he never got the chance too; because real fear finally flickered across his face, and his body became rooted to the spot, eyes wide. One second he’d been staring at you, defiant even in the face of your own death by his hand – until your eyes illuminated once more; but instead of it just stopping there, your whole body seemed to shimmer out of focus and pixelate. It clearly didn’t take you months to shapeshift into someone else – because now Ralph Anderson was standing face to face with himself. And if it wasn’t for the fact that your eyes were still a gentle silver colour (always the last thing to accurately render), it would have been just like looking in a mirror. Instead Ralph got chills; he’d seen a lot, he would admit to that much, but he’d never seen anything as unnerving as this. He had no choice than to immediately look away from you, hand over his mouth, for fear of throwing up over all this once again. Your eyes narrowed and you tipped your head to follow his movement – he better not think he was getting away with that. Unfortunately, your straining on the cuffs still didn’t cause them to break, and you could already feel the likelihood of leaving Ralph’s DNA in the middle of the field as pretty high, considering how raw your wrists now looked. “Look at me.” Oh, that was much worse. The shudder that coursed through Ralph’s body must have been visible – his voice coming from you; well him, but- It wasn’t him. He shook his head continuously. This was too much. This was way too much and Ralph was suddenly aware of how in over his head he was. He should have brought back-up. He should have listened to his friends. Ralph Anderson suddenly realised just how alone he was out here; and finally comprehended just what was in front of him. “LOOK AT ME!” This time you screamed it, repeatedly, admitting to yourself that there was a certain power that came with being in someone else’s body whilst also facing said person. And it’d never felt so good as this moment. Eventually Ralph Anderson did – but you could feel him when you were like this – and if anything, he was only looking at you because he wanted it to stop. He straightened; the pistol was still very much in play but lowered and hesitant, still you didn’t trust him not to take out your knee at the way he was holding it, and that finger was still hovering on the trigger. “What is wrong with you?” You continued, wondering if he might even listen to himself, “I can tell you what I think is wrong with you, Ralph Anderson, and you can hate me for it all you want – but I think it’s about time someone told you the truth.” You took a step and the pistol raised a little higher; “You have survivors guilt for whatever the hell happened in Tennessee, you feel guilty about everything that happened to Terry; from the way you arrested him to the way he died, guilt that you’ve left the Maitland family in the state it’s in and two girls without a father, guilt for the Peterson family because they’re all gone now – not forgetting the fact you shot Ollie. You think you’ve got off lightly with therapy sessions. For the record, I think he’s a God awful therapist and I get the feeling you don’t hold him in regard much higher than I.” You took a breath, “You feel guilty about everything that happened on this case, and every other fucking person that suffered at the hands of that shapeshifter and everything it ever touched.” You pointed to yourself… or… himself. “But I am NOT it, Ralph!! I didn’t do ANY of that. And you’re still here! You’re still alive and you’re still breathing! And you have friends and people who LOVE you!!!” You shook your head, suddenly a picture-perfect image of the man who’d been on the other side of your cell yesterday; “Face yourself—!! Face the person YOU are-!! How hard can it be!?” You couldn’t place your fingers exactly on the look on has face, it was such a distinct form of fear. No-one in the world should have to face themselves in such a way as this; and you could see it, Ralph Anderson was terrified of you. And you acknowledged that with a twisted smile; “Yeah. You’re damn right! You should be scared of me.” But it wasn’t just you, was it, that’s what you were getting at; “Scared of ME and yourself – at the man you can become!”

By this time Ralph was shaking, his hands were trembling and all he needed was one shot. Perhaps that was the point – was that what you were saying? By ending you, he might finally have peace? Or were you saying that’s what he thought he could have and it wouldn’t be that way? That he should face everything he’d done… that he thought he might have done, even when he hadn’t, and feel better. You didn’t want to die, but if he was going to do it the only thing you wanted right now was Ralph Anderson to be free from everything that haunted him. Even when you’re pointing a gun at my head I still fucking love you… But the shakes became sobs, and even Ralph knew he couldn’t hold that gun steady enough to take a clean shot. His vision blurred as tears ran; “God dammit-!” The pistol left his hands, settling in the grass – and Ralph’s hands went back to his face, trying to wipe those tears away as if you hadn’t been staring at him long enough to see them. Knowing it was over, you shimmered back to yourself, and although you wanted nothing more than to run over to him and hold him close to reassure him – the situation still had you standing calmly in the spot that he had placed you – waiting for Ralph to free you himself. Your detective crossed the grass to you, tears still staining his face, and again you found yourself wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold him close. You weren’t sure you’d like the result of that one – he had pointed a gun to your head and been seconds from pulling the trigger. Twice. In two days. Even though his hands were still trembling as he pulled yours towards him, he managed to unlock the cuffs with ease. “R-Ralph-” “Go. GO-!” He wiped his eyes again, nudging you away from him; resolve completely done. And you had a terrible feeling that Ralph Anderson was more broken than he’d ever been before. You shook your head, closing the gap again and trying to get him to look at you; “You don’t mean that…” You whispered gently, glad that he didn’t put away when you placed your hand delicately on his arm, “…You don’t.” “I do.” If there was ever a time to let him know that no matter your race you were still you, it was now. Maybe he expected the monster to run for its life. The woman who loved him would stay. “Tell me, Ralph Anderson. Tell me you want me to go. Right now. Say those words. That full sentence.” He was still determined not to let his eyes meet your face; “I want… I want….” But his body was still shaking; and his lip quivered. Ralph didn’t finish his sentence before he was sobbing again. “You can ask me to stay. Ralph. We can go back. I know this is going to take time, maybe a lot of time… but we ca-” “No. We can’t.” He shook his head, “I won’t.” Your face fell as he held out his car keys, “Take it. Take the car and go - I don’t care where, anywhere - just not Cherokee City. Not back to me.” “Ralph…” Your disbelief was more than evident, after all, you hadn’t done anything wrong and yet realised you were the one begging for his forgiveness now; “…Why? What about you?!” “Yune can pick me up. Look TAKE them!” He closed your hands around the keys and stepped away from you again, “Leave-! I’m letting you go, God dammit just GO!” “NO!” You shook your head again, “Why won’t you let us fix this? We can make this work! You know we can!” “BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE!” You were forced into a stunned silence, and your eyes couldn’t help but burn again. If you expected anything from him, it wasn’t that. You opened your mouth, but suddenly found it hard to form words. “I DON’T EVER WANT TO EVEN SEE YOU AGAIN-!!! BUT I CAN’T EVEN KILL YOU – I LOVED YOU TOO MUCH TO KILL YOU, AND WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME!?” Ralph ran his hands through his hair, and suddenly that strange crazy energy he’d given off the evening before was back – but a hell of a lot more erratic. “R…Ra…Ralph.” You weren’t sure it was something you could reason with; and he snapped, just to prove you right; “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! FUCKING GO!” His advance on you made you stagger back, and this time the fear that ran across your face was something he’d never seen before. It unnerved him but he couldn’t stop now; “LEAVE! NO ONE IN CHEROKEE CITY WANTS YOU AROUND ANYWAY!” That was just a little too much, there was a knife already through your heart, he didn’t have to twist it. You were staring at a man you’d loved for four years, and you didn’t recognise him at all. ‘Oh my god, who… who is this man?’ The pain was unbearable, and you didn’t want to cry – you couldn’t show him he was upsetting you; but Ralph Anderson probably already knew exactly what he was doing. You shook your head, continuing to walk backwards towards the car – staring at him hard, even if you couldn’t hate him you could still let him know how angry you were. And you’d show him your anger before you let him upset you. ‘Human beings, all the same… I should just have listened…’ Throughout history when weren’t you told to never get involved with one? Lifespan was the least of the worries at the top of any other shapeshifters list; but you’d always been fascinated – and their biggest advocates. They were afraid and they had to drive you to this point, that always made sense – but they were fragile, and emotional, and they could love in ways so unconditional that you’d never seen another species replicate. Yet here you were, and the one you’d wanted to spend the rest of his life with was doing this. And Ralph Anderson was one of the good ones. “You have it wrong, Ralph Anderson. So fucking wrong. You think you don’t know me... but really, it’s me that doesn’t know YOU.” You didn’t turn as you kept backing towards his car, “How can you – YOU – prove my race so fucking right!?” You opened the door, still glaring at him, you wanted to say it, you wanted to tell him that you couldn’t believe you’d ever loved him. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t even bring yourself to pretend you felt that. Because even now when he was breaking your heart – you’d never loved a person as much as you had him. And you knew you didn’t know where you’d go from here – but you knew you’d carry that feeling with you for the rest of your life. There would never be another Ralph Anderson. You stopped looking at him, slamming the door shut, belting yourself in and starting the engine, throwing it into gear. You paused with a deep breath and allowed yourself one last glance at him. Standing there in the middle of a field alone watching you leave. Take a good hard look, Y/N, because you will never see this man again… You peeled your eyes away with an exhale, and closed them, counting to 10 before you pushed your foot to the pedal and the car began moving. But now you were stuck with eerie silence, and the echoes of his voice in your head – the remnants of his DNA in your veins. You knew Ralph would never let you go, but right now you couldn’t handle that. And suddenly realising how alone in the world you were, you had to pull over to the side. Tears were running before you’d even slowed to a stop, you buried your face in your arms against the steering wheel and all you could do was let out huge, shaking sobs. God damn you, Ralph Anderson… Why?! *** 9 Months Later…

You’d watched him for a little while, sitting in that little corner coffee shop. You would call him new in town; only you’d seen him a few times whilst running around. He drew you in in a similar way to the detective whose face you wore a little more often than you’d care to admit. Ralph’s body made you feel safe when you were alone, especially at night – he was familiar, his voice was familiar. Comfortable. Yet, with Ralph you could torture yourself for everything you’d ever done – and you were no longer content with looking at your own form. This man was gone because of you. Still, there was something about the one you were watching that you couldn’t quite put your fingers on… You tapped your stirrer against the top of your cup and bit your lip gently – never a fan of making the same mistake twice. But you knew that aura well, and he wasn’t human. Which was why you were sitting here and you looked like you again. Even though you couldn’t let him go; it was still Ralph’s shirt you were wearing, it was still his car you were driving, it was still him that you cried over every night. That didn’t mean that the man now turning from the counter with his coffee didn’t intrigue you enough to try it; had you found one just like you? His eyes met yours, and that silver flashed. And this time you couldn’t help but smile, using exactly the same tell on him. He wasn’t expecting it, and immediately froze, despite the tiny smile making its way to his lips.

And for the first time since you’d left Ralph Anderson in a middle of nowhere field, you didn’t feel quite so alone…

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I really appreciate your support for this series 💕 Thank you for your readership! I’m sorry!

#Ralph Anderson #Ben Mendelsohn #Ralph Anderson x Reader #The Outsider #The outsider hbo #HBOs the Outsider #Ralph x Shifter!Reader #Shifter!Reader #Dia #Ever since reading If It Bleeds she certainly looks like Dia and not an AU!Harmony...#I mean I think this is probably worse than either of you were envisioning #UGHH! THIS SONG!!#SHE HAS SO MANY AMAZING SONGS FOR THE BOIS!!!!#IT'S SO CRAZY AND I LOVE IT!#158

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

Cheers To That - Detective Meares x Reader (Needle)

@happyskywhale @wltz-bby #MendoTagSquad.

GIF CREDIT: X

Author’s Note: I’m not even sorry. Haha! Here is a literally 5 minute fic! @mendelskrull deserves the credit for this one. 😊

He’s the 31st Mendo! 🎉 But our 30th x Reader. So that makes me more comfortable. Side Note: That is in order of writing, I got three other bois chillin’ in my drafts...

Don’t expect much more out of this film, I just had to get this out of my system! 😁

Disclaimer: Needle characters not mine / he’s in like 2 minutes of movie so I did my best-! 😂

Premise: If there was one thing you loved about dating him, it was how easy he was to tease...

Words: 550

Warnings: Swearing

___ My cup is already half full It's the taste that I'm feeling No milk and two sugar if that's cool Can't sleep when it's late But that ain't me complaining And nobody can keep it like you So good, I can taste it But you're gone, I crave it Nobody can make it like you By the time you're leaving I'm begging you to stay And if you leave, I'd only get it in your way You can keep me needing Even when I am awake But the coffee never tastes the same ---

You knew he was coming before you even saw his face. A lot of slamming down the corridor and cursing. Yeah, that summed up your partner alright. Partner romantically of course; you weren’t sure you could deal with him on the job too.

“Fuckin’ kids-!” He entered the room, immediately kicking the bin. Meares looked a little flustered today, hair messed up, tie a little slacked, blue eyes burning in constant annoyance, hot temper flared. You raised an eyebrow; “Didn’t realise that just because you were investigating college kids meant you had to behave like one?” “Haha.” He wasn’t in the mood “Oh my god, they think they know everything just cuz they’re out there getting an education! Like we didn’t work for this-!!” Some of us harder than others you thought, but casually sipped your coffee. “I take it you’re the one who was traumatising our new photographer?” He scoffed, though blush rose in his already red cheeks “I did nothing of the sort-!” “Sure you didn’t. Given your level of maturity-!” “He needs to learn somehow!” “I’m sure he’s so grateful. Just like the integrity of the crime scene is-! Just think, you might have it solved by now if that hadn’t have happened-!” “Oh-! Shut up!” You loved teasing him; it only made him angrier and his face redder - but damn if he wasn’t half cute when he looked that way. “Gladly, if you come over here and make me.” He jabbed his finger at you, “Now who’s being unprofessional-!” You tipped your head with a look; Pot calling the Kettle and all that...

You both swivelled your heads as the phone began to ring. Meares folded his arms, leaning against his own desk; “That one is your fucking responsibility.” You smirked and turned back to him, “Why? Scared you’ll ruin this crime scene too!?” “Fuck off!” “Oh, honey, make me.” You slid off your desk and crossed to the phone, narrowly dodging the screwed-up paper he’d thrown. Man child! You answered professionally, and before long had all the details “Looks like I’m heading out, as your generosity knows no bounds...” You smiled sweetly, gathering your things and noticing he’d already poached your cup of coffee, raising it to you in cheers. “Try not to have a fit whilst I’m gone, detective.” But Meares pouted, making you pause at the door, “What?” “Don’t I even get a goodbye kiss?” You sighed in frustration, crossing back to him. He grinned triumphantly and accepted a short, sweet kiss from you, “Good luck at your crime scene.” “Mhm, good luck with your teenagers-!” Pink dusted his face again; “Aw. I’m gonna need more than that.” You ran your fingers through his hair, “Any particular reason why this is such a mess today?” He swatted your hand away “SHUTUP!” “Enjoy my coffee.” You breathed, grazing your lips to his. Meares tried to pull you back but you weren’t having it – you knew what he wanted, you had a job to do. “I wish I was tasting you instead.” He received only an unimpressed eye roll. Yet you still gave him a wink at the door, “You got this babe!” Then you waved, “See you later, back at home-!” “Can’t wait-!” He yelled after you and you laughed. Yeah, you could bet. ---

Thanks for reading this super short drabble-! I hope you enjoyed none the less-! 💜😊

#Needle #Detective Meares #Ben Mendelsohn #Tell me one other person that's been crazy enough to do this-!?#:D #If you say the title in a sarcastic Australian tone you get Meares!#147 #Just a casual lyrical quote there... No big deal #EDIT: Random afterthought tag - How are we pronouncing his name?#Like it's never said in the movie... so...#I always give it a Portuguese / Spanish twist...#But is it meant to be Meers?#Instead of like Meer-ez or Meer-esh?#If you're reading this let me know-!!

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

Still - Director Keller x OC (Captain Marvel)

Out Of Nowhere Girl (For Reference): Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Author’s Note: I wrote this as soon as I got out of the theatre when I saw Endgame... As the eventual ending to ‘Out Of Nowhere Girl’... Anyway, basically I spent so long talking about these two to @mendelskrull and this fic was basically finished anyway, that I decided to put it out! 😁

UGH. I love them. They must be my second OTP after Lorennic... Now they need a name...

I also realise that he’s referred to as Keller for the majority of this story... 🤔 We’ll just roll with that.

Keller’s astronomy ring is like this.

Disclaimer: We’re going to pretend that timelines don’t exist. / MCU characters/plots/events not mine / lyrics not mine

Premise: When Thanos snaps away half the universe, Maliyah loses everything. It’s a long and difficult 5 years, but now the battle is won...

Words: 1830

Warnings: N/A. I mean we talk about stuff that happened in Infinity War and Endgame, so, a little bit of angst.

_____

Remember when I told you you were mine, all mine I couldn't get you, baby, off my mind Me and you we were the real thing You didn't know but I had butterflies 'Cause I knew then, leaning in Baby I was never looking back again Every day changes but it doesn't change The way you make me smile when you say my name And when you laugh, it makes me laugh And when you cry, it makes me cry Yeah like it did back then When we were just beginning And girl it always will I want you, I need you, still And I don't care how many times that story is told Cover to cover, it never gets old Like a fairy tale, gets better and better Boy meets girl and spends forever together Yeah and, oh my God You are my whole world And we're spinnin' When you look my way Everything stops And time stands still

---

The Snap

Maliyah had barely been able to face Keller’s family.

His parents had lost their only son, and their grand-daughter. His sister had lost her best friend, and her niece. Maliyah had tried to make sure they hadn’t lost her too. Turning up on their doorstep two days after their worlds had been utterly devastated, it was nothing more than constant hugging and crying. She should have been there for them before then, but for those first few days she was in too much pain – it was beyond unbearable. The bond between their DNA was very suddenly ripped apart, the brightly lit patterns that used to cross her body were now solid black lines. She’d told him once that was never something she wanted to happen; and now Maliyah had failed to protect him, so these marks of shame were his. Maliyah wanted to stay with what family she had left on Earth, but there was so much to help Carol take care of around the Universe – that was before adding on trying to settle whatever was left of the Xandarian’s. Her home destroyed by Thanos even before he’d done the unthinkable. Maliyah was their Supernova – it was her duty to help them rebuild what they could. It kept her preoccupied, a fact for which she was glad. There was so much pain that those two names bought her she wasn’t able to return to Keller’s family easily. Maliyah knew she shouldn’t, but she wanted to face this alone. There were many memorials around the world to the victims of what Earth was calling ‘the Blip’, but this one was her favourite. If that was even the right way to talk about it. Maliyah touched his name gently, but her lip quivered and pretty soon she found herself with her forehead pressed against the letters and her tears wetting the stone. Why? Why had they taken him from her? Why had they taken their daughter? This wasn’t right. Maliyah’s name should be on this, not theirs. She knew she didn’t deserve to live on, not instead of them. Talia was nothing but innocent, and Keller, he’d pretty much single handily raised her. He was a good man - a better husband and father than Maliyah would ever be mother. And yet she lived... She had never deserved anything less in all her life.

She remembered her final conversation with him. Thanos had taken her home from her, Xandar was no more. And he was coming for Earth for the infinity stones, and then god knows what would happen if he succeeded. “You’ll get him. Maliyah. You’ll stop him.” “What if I can’t? Even with help, what if it just doesn’t happen? What if he wins? With those stones-” “If. IF he gets them, Mali... then you can reverse it. I know you can. I know you will. But it’s a big if.” And that smile he’d give her, of assurance. Keller was always so sure. “And I know it won’t come to that.” But it had, and it had taken her family away from her. Maliyah had watched too many turn to dust with shock on that initial battlefield before pain shot through her. At first she thought that she was dying too, but Maliyah hadn’t been that lucky; curled up in pain and screaming as her body warned her that he was in trouble. Just like that Keller was gone, wiped away so unnaturally that her body still didn’t know how to react. Panic for her daughter had eventually spurred her to the house – still too young to be able to fend for herself alone. Maliyah had found nothing but an empty home. And all she’d felt was empty ever since. It had been hard to walk around with the silence hanging the way it was. Uncomfortably loud. The only real indications that anyone had just disappeared was the computer system was still on, pages of notes with a word half written… drawings and crayons on the floor – too peculiar to look like two people had just left in a hurry. Keller’s astronomy ring sat on his desk in open position – that wasn’t insignificant. He knew what was happening, he’d have left it for her. Maliyah picked it up delicately, closing it back to a single gold band: an unusual choice of wedding ring. She’d worn it on a chain around her neck ever since. It had been 5 years, and some had simply accepted and moved on. Maliyah was one of the few that couldn’t – he’d told her not to give up, and she never would no matter how long it took. She refused to believe that Keller was gone forever. And with the help of the assembled team, constantly in contact over video link, she would get him back; everything would be as it should. Maliyah could afford to wait for eternity…. But his family couldn’t. They needed closure and answers: she vowed to help them.

*** The Aftermath.

Maliyah and Carol arrived on the battlefield together, Earth bound shooting stars. They were used to teaming up by now – and with the Universe corrected, there was only one thing left to do. Win the battle and the war. She knew before the battle was even won: the energy and serenity that suddenly flowed through her could only have one source. How, despite him being a few thousand miles away, Keller’s colours ignited over her skin as she fought. Time to show them what a real Supernova could do… The funeral of Tony Stark was a quiet affair, even if it was well attended. She stood respectfully back, nearer to Carol and Nick than the rest of the group. They were probably her closest friends here, standing slightly forward for Peter Quill – he’d been missing for the past five years too. Maliyah had too much to catch up on. There was a lot of quiet contemplation between the groups. A lot of where to next. For Maliyah there was only ever one answer to that question. Before she jetted off to the stars, or helped anyone with anything. “Maliyah... won’t you stay??” She shook her head at Nick with a small smile, “What’s left of the S.H.I.E.L.D organisation could really use you...!” Carol scoffed, arms folded, “No! She needs to come with me!” She gave Maliyah a soft wink, “What do you say? Marvel and Supernova saving the universe?” Maliyah couldn’t help but laugh, “If you wait for me Carol, I’ll take you up on that... but right now I’ve got somewhere else to be...” “... Right. Of course, Maliyah Keller has somewhere else to be!” She turned from Carol’s big smile and grinned across to Nick Fury with a nod, knowing how perfectly he understood, “You’re damn right!”

***

Flying halfway across America was not what was sending Maliyah crazy. Her palms were sweaty and her heart was beating so fast as she landed herself softly in front of the country home. Surrounded by acres and acres of land, it was in the middle of nowhere for so many reasons... It reminded her so much of his parents.

The breeze tousled her hair as it played through the trees. It had been 5 long years - or short - but it felt to her like a lifetime. Every time she read those two names on the mural she broke down in tears. It only served to shatter her heart into more pieces. But all that was reversed now... The door opened, and Maliyah didn’t think her heart had the ability to beat as quick as it did. She couldn’t breathe. He was standing in a three-piece suit. Sans jacket. Sleeves rolled up, he placed both hands in his pockets. The sun hit his face, his hair, his eyes; that gorgeous blue she hadn’t seen in 5 lifetimes... and he smiled taking the two steps down to the driveway, she illuminated in blue and white - brighter than she ever had before. His emotion hit her full force and she could feel herself start to cry. She wanted so badly to sprint to him, but he engulfed her. Her senses were overwhelmed by Keller. Something they had yearned for for 5 years.

It didn’t matter, because Jonathan sprinted to her, and suddenly she was in his arms. She couldn’t grab enough of him close to her; and he couldn’t either. “You did it, you did it... I knew you would.” Keller’s voice was soft as he held her to him, breathing her in as much as she was him. He’d woken up in the same place he’d watched their daughter disappear into thin air. The same place he’d done exactly the same thing - but years after... he’d known life without Maliyah for maybe a month. She had been without him far longer. She laughed through her tears, “I think my input was minimal!” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. Her colours burning a new level of bright. “We’re back. Because of you.” There was nothing she could say back, it was hardly true but Keller wasn’t about to let her argue with him – she knew that, pushing up on her toes to press her forehead against his, Maliyah slipped the chain from her neck, taking his hand to reunite him with the ring. “I knew you’d have taken it with you.” “I needed you.” “You didn’t give up. Not that I expected you to, Supernova.” Keller pulled her back to him, capturing her lips. “MOMMY!!” Maliyah left Keller’s arms, kiss cut short, to see her daughter now sprinting down the same steps. “Tali!” She ran, skidding to her knees. She was still 6; still her baby. Maliyah had missed to much already, she was glad she wouldn’t miss anything else. She placed her head gently against her daughters, Keller watched with a smile as they both lit up in the same amalgamation of purples, pinks and soft blues. There was a communication there he would never understand, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know what it meant.

Maliyah stood, gathering Talia in her arms, and Keller wandered to them, taking them both in his own arms. His girls were both okay. And they were both here. Talia wrapped her arms tightly around Maliyah’s neck and entwined her tiny fingers with his. Keller kissed her again. A real kiss, one she savoured with her eyes closed; gentle, nice and slow. “Stay...” He breathed it. “This time, please stay.” She knew Jonathan wanted nothing more than for her to be here. For them to finally be a family. For Maliyah it had been 11 years: for 6 she’d been unprepared to be a mother, for the last 5 she hadn’t had a choice. Those five years put the three of them into real perspective. She smiled; as if she really had a choice? “I’ll stay.” Maliyah took his hand, “I’m going to stay.”

---

Thank you for reading! 😅

#My little Space Girl deserves her OG story #But I don't feel like I'm at OG level yet I really do #There's much work to be done yet.#Director Keller #Maliyah x Keller #Maliyah #Captain Marvel #183 #Note: His sister knows that she's from Space but his parents don't.#Not that that makes an overall difference to the story - buuut!#It's been sitting in my notes too long and I just kinda want it gone so we're going to get it gone.#I wish I could do these two better justice than this... Buuuuut #They're certainly not my forte #Linzi writes #Smol Bean Drabbles #we'll bury this and move on.#Wont tag Mendo this time

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

The Next Best Australian Record - Harold x Reader (Adore)

GIF CREDIT: X Cruel Summer / Magnets

Author’s Note: I like blaming my fics on peoples influences - this one is totally on @mendelskrull - no take backs!! 😉😉

@sufferthesea thank you for staying with this series, 2 & 3 wouldn’t have happened without your support and, of course, this song is yours 😊 Lana Del Ray - The Next Best American Record

Disclaimer: Adore characters and plot not mine / once again I’ve made it far more convoluted! / gifs not mine / lyrics not mine

Premise: Now you’re back at University you can both let this affair breathe. But what happens when Harold returns home for the weekend, does what happens in Sydney stay in Sydney?

Words: 5054

Warnings: sexual connotations / small swears / May-December Romance / Student-Teacher Relationship

_______ My baby used to dance underneath my architecture To the Houses of the Holy, smokin' on them cigarettes My baby used to dance underneath my architecture He was cool as heck He was cool as heck

My baby used to dance underneath my architecture He was '70s in spirit, '90s in his frame of mind My baby used to dance underneath my architecture We lost track of space We lost track of time And we were so obsessed with writing the next best American record That we gave all we had 'til the time we got to bed 'Cause we knew we could We were so obsessed with writing the next best American record 'Cause we were just that good It was just that good Whatever's on tonight, I just wanna party with you Topanga's hot tonight, I'm taking off my bathing suit You made me feel like there's something that I never knew I wanted It's you, all the roads lead to you Everything I want and do, all the things that I say It's true, all the roads lead to you Like the 405 I drive through Every night and every day I see you for who you really are ---

Three weeks had passed by exceedingly slow, although you really had managed to get going on your work with no outside distractions. Your friends had thrown one last beach party before you all packed up and headed off, but drinking only led to yearning – so it made you pretty relieved that you had no number to shamelessly drunk text. The university friends you’d been keeping in touch with over the break we’re all itching see each other again, and you couldn’t wait to return to the house you’d been renting together and class, at least some of you we restless for classes to begin. You most of all, for obvious reasons. It would be so great to be with all of them again and gain a little more of your independence. The only real adult influence in your life would be your… uhm… Well, that was the thing, you didn’t exactly know what you were supposed to call him. So you would hold that thought. Your schedule came through and you were already desperate to get back in the classroom and see Harold again. Part of you wanted to email him as soon as you reached Sydney, but you knew it was best to settle in and figure it all out before you resumed seeing him. Besides, it was going to be much more dangerous for him out there. Sure, if you’d been caught here there’d be a lot of questions and falling out; not that you didn’t think you wouldn’t be spiteful enough to call out his wife and her friend, and drag everyone down with you… but in Sydney he was your lecturer. (Not that he wasn’t at home, but, family friends was a different twist to taking advantage of a student). You knew you’d have to be careful, the last thing you would want was to be responsible for ruining his career… or his life. With your car packed up, you were finally saying goodbye to your parents before you started your long drive. You’d planned out all your breaks and setting off this time of day meant you’d make it in plenty of time and daylight. But they were still trying to check on your schedule, telling you to call them at your break points so they knew where you were and how you were doing. Hugging you and asking you to be careful on the roads, as if you hadn’t done this 200 times before. If you had to say ‘I’ll be fine, I promise!’ one more time you’d likely go insane. What you didn’t expect was to find someone else appear in your driveway to see you off. And he certainly wasn’t someone you would consider a friend. Despite still seeing his father around, you hadn’t actually seen much of Tom since you’d broken up. And even your parents were shocked to see him standing there. “…H…Hey…” You walked over, eyebrow raised, “What’s up?” It was strange to say that you felt a little guilty – had you always been leading him on? Was there ever a time you actually wanted the guy standing in front of you? You couldn’t think like that, not really. Tom was good to you, and you had enjoyed your relationship. Not sorry it was over, but for the way you’d let it end. Plus, if you really thought on it – this man had started it. You’d found out he was cheating on you before you’d so much as touched Harold. “Nothing.” Then he shrugged, “No, maybe that’s a lie. I… I just wanted to say goodbye before you went off to Sydney.” Tom couldn’t quite meet your eyes as he spoke; “I guess I didn’t want to leave things bad between us, y’know? Before you left.” “Oh-!” You could count yourself as surprised, “I… guess I understand that.” “Yeah.” He laughed, “I also wanted to wish you good luck, with your next year.” “Thank you.” You smiled gently, “That’s sweet, you don’t have to.” “So… can we… at least be cool with each other?” You laughed, “I guess.” There was a few moments awkward silence before he cleared his throat, not satisfied to end with that; “How’s the guy working out?” You hoped you had as good a poker face as you thought you did; “Yeah, good.” “Will you see much of him now?” “A little...” You quickly changed subject before he got too deep into the detail; “How’s, uh, how’s the girl... working out?” “Good.... yeah. No, uh, no complaints.” “Good…” You nodded too. And the awkwardness set in again, before he reached out to hug you – and you found yourself in maybe the most awkward ‘exes’ hug in the entire world. “I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have-” “Tom it’s okay. Honestly. What happened happened. We’re probably… better off with who we’re with now.” “I guess.” He let you go and you stepped back, with a smile “Take care of yourself. Maybe when I’m back we can catch up!” Although you weren’t sure how serious you were, maybe you’d stop by for his father and just casually catch up with him. Tom’d never know. You waved each other off again and you watched him walk away, with at least a smile that clearing the air really might have been a good idea. It was done; it’d make tension at that house a little lower if you did ever turn up for any reason. “Oh!” He turned, walking backwards down the hill, “Say hi to my dad for me!!” You couldn’t help your smirk, it just appeared instantly, “Oh, I will!” Though you’d be doing a lot more than that. *** For the first few weeks you got settled into your routine, getting a feel for your class schedule and the nuances of moving back in with your best friends. You only had one class with Harold this semester, which you counted as a blessing because you weren’t sure how this was going to work now. Though you already knew you had two classes with him next semester, and that was enough to keep you going on. If you thought sitting in class was good for seeing him, and those little knowing looks he kept flashing you – especially when you happened to answer a question right (c’mon, you were eager to please the man. You’d always been like this in Harold’s class.) – it really had nothing on your friends teasing. They all knew you had a crush on him – that was the last few years of being here and sitting in class, so whilst every right answer had a different meaning now between you and he, your friends sat there with the same little smirks on their faces: ‘Ohhhh! Someone’s got a crush! STILL!’ ‘Seriously? No summer romances to yearn and miss – or does that not do it for you!?’ ‘Oh, we should know Y/N! It’s all about the fantasy!’ ‘Y/N, getting all your answers right won’t get you in his pants-!’ - Well, little did they know! And you weren’t about to bring Tom up; in fact you weren’t even sure anyone knew that Harold usually lived in the same town as you. It certainly wasn’t something you were going to say now; less it help people put two and two together if things got suspicious. When you did start seeing each other again – around the time he gave you your assignments and you went to check on him under the guise of ‘wait can you just go through this one more time-!?’ - it was tentative and slow moving. You supposed out here in Sydney where you didn’t have the rush of summer, or have to sneak around both your families, you could really let the relationship just breathe and be what it would be. You didn’t see him on campus any more than you thought necessary, you tried not to run to him after class unless you had a burning question, so most of the time you would leave him with a sweet goodbye smile instead, and he would give you a gentle nod to bid you a good day. Even in his office you tried to keep it focused on your coursework, that didn’t mean he didn’t hold your hand as he took you through something, and he usually gave you a goodbye kiss before you left. You couldn’t lie that it felt a little strange, considering what you’d been used to back home – it’d never really been this delicate. You weren’t sure you didn’t enjoy this a little more. Still, after spending so much time together this summer, even if it was tangled up in sheets, there was still that need to be closer than the University would ever allow. So he gave you his address. At first you thought that was risky, and wondered what kind of excuse you’d have to give your friends… Although they didn’t seem to mind you heading out for your own purposes. You just made sure to never lie if they did enquire. ”Where you heading?” “Oh! A family friend recently moved to the area. It’d be kinda cool to hang out with them!” And they never questioned more than that.

You actually liked working on your assignments up here, his house was quiet and you got to pressure yourself because he was your teacher and instead of procrastinating you should be getting this done for his class. The assignment was simple enough; you had to design a play (based on the theme he’d set) and then write it’s key scene. Producing an essay on why you’d chosen the elements for the piece that you had. You were just glad this wasn’t one of your performance classes – you could get away with anything in the scene if you didn’t have to perform it yourself. Though you were sure Harold would make one or two of you read a little in tutorials. Maybe you could use your relationship to your advantage; Please for the love of God don’t pick me! You knew he would anyway, though. Whilst you were focused on your writing, when he was here and not on campus teaching, he was also typing away on his own composition. When you were taking a break from your own work you got curious enough to wander over and see what Harold was doing, looping your arms around his neck. “What are you working on?” “Oh…” He clasped your hands in his, “Just a pipe dream. It’s been in the works a loooong time…” “Yeaaah,” You pressed your lips to his cheek, settling your head on his shoulder, “But what is it?” “It’s a play.” “Oh? We’re all working on the same thing-!?” You brightened up, scanning a few lines. Even from what was in front of you, you sensed a familiar theme. “Oh my God!” You couldn’t help but grin as you teased him; “Are you just going to steal our work-!?” He laughed, teasing you back, “No-! That’s not it!” You straightened, look disbelieving as Harold tipped his head back to keep his eyes locked with yours; “Ohhh! It totally is-!” “Well only the good ones-! And you’ll get credit-!” You snorted, “Yeah alright, I’ll remember that when I take you to court for copyright.” He narrowed his eyes, “Thing with you is, I could believe you actually would.” “Nah,” you leant down to kiss him, “If you want to steal my shitty ideas that’s fine with me.” “I’m sure they aren’t that bad!” You slipped from his grip, walking backwards and holding his hand until the last second, with a sharp intake of breath. “I wouldn’t be so sure…!” It couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes until he joined you, and you were biting your lip hard again; “Stop watching me!” “I’m here to help you actually.” “Help?” You raised your head, and then tilted it; “A distraction.” “Ahhhh…” He leant forward and brushed his lips to yours, “I hope a welcome one.” You pulled him back to you by his shirt; “Kiss me again and I’ll tell you.” Eventually you did end up throwing ideas around, sitting in his lap with your notebook as Harold held one arm around your waist, stroking his other through your hair. Both thoughts for his play and your own work – Harold just wanted you to be happy with your idea before he watched you spent all your effort on it. Eventually you thought you had it figured out, at least more than just the bare bones that you’d had before – now it had real structure and detail. Although telling him the detail was a step too far, “Don’t tell me! I want a surprise when I mark it-!” You folded your arms with a pout, “Well you’ve basically just told me your entire storyline! Now I’ll know when I see it!” “It’s a work in progress – It’s changed a million times already.” You settled and cuddled into him, peppering his neck and jawline with kisses as you did; “Well at least promise me that I can read it when you finish it? Maybe I could even be in it by that stage!” He chuckled, pulling you in closer; “You’d be the first I cast-!”

*** As at home, your lover had a house in Sydney that wasn’t too far from the beach. It was Friday morning, and Harold was due to drive back for the weekend. You’d started spending more weekends together, although you wouldn’t get the opportunity this one coming. As you weren’t due in class until much later in the day, after class yesterday (your only period, and also his) you’d headed over here. Whilst your assignment was doing a lot better and might almost be complete, his play was still nowhere near finished. Harold liked to recite pieces to you when you were curled up together, sometimes he’d hand you scenes and ask you to read characters and you couldn’t help but see scary parallels between them and conversations that you’d had with him. “Is this… leading somewhere?” “No.” The hand that wasn’t holding the script traced soft patterns over your stomach, “Why?” Your turned your head to him slowly, “Are they us?” “They… are a culmination of… a lot of relationships.” “They talk like we do.” “In this scene, yeah.” He gave a shrug, “In others they’re Roz… and then relationships past.” You shifted visibly at the mention of her name, but understood what he was saying. It was a look at various relationships through the lens of different life stages. Harold drew you closer to him and kissed your forehead gently, “We can stop.” “No, it’s okay, it’s just- The thought of people seeing this or reading it… I guess it’s all a little scary.” You placed the pages on the table and wrapped your arms around his, caressing Harold’s skin as you pressed kisses into his arms. “I promise you if you don’t want this, I’ll take it out,” He continued to kiss your face and you were already smiling again, “still, it’ll be years from now at the rate it’s going.” He finally reached your lips; “I won’t do this without your permission.” “And yet everyone else doesn’t get a say?” “I think that says a little bit more about you, doesn’t it?” You bit your lip gently, before pulling him in again, “Hush, don’t make me yearn for you now…” On Friday morning he woke you early, and suggested going down to the beach while the weather was still good, and it wasn’t so hot and crowded yet. Harold was right, the presence of anyone else was minimal, and you could keep your hand in his almost the whole time you were together. All you could really do was look at him and wish this could in any way be normal. You hadn’t really been joking with him yesterday, you yearned for this to work out. That one day it wouldn’t matter who saw you together, because it would just be that. You’d be together. A dream, and yet one you would never be sure of lasting. Could it realistically last? Even now, hundreds of miles from home he was still wearing a wedding ring, and you were still aware of the fact that he could be yours and still not be yours. You took a deep breath of sea air and closed your eyes, focusing on his hand in yours. On his voice, already planning your next rendezvous… he wanted to take you on a trip somewhere out of the city. Harold’s attention was all yours, all of it was on you, and you needed to remember that; he knew you needed that. How much you craved it, how important his attention was to you when he was about to leave for home again. You could be adult about the relationship you shared, but he knew your emotions were still that of the 20-something you were. Harold knew how to placate that, and the fact he wasn’t about to drop you because of it showed you nothing more than how important this was to him. Maybe for the first time – even though he’d already stayed through your ‘I love you’ confession. By the time you were back to his, the sun was turning up the heat, and you weren’t about to pass up the opportunity. He’d barely shut the door before you were all over each other – your hands up in Harold’s hair and his kisses all over you. Yet by the time you were to the bedroom you’d significantly cooled off, and it was sweeter, a little slower. You pulled at the strings of your bathing suit to undress for him teasingly; and as ever Harold was receptive to this by the way he whispered your name. Today he loved on you slow and sweet – and it was everything you’d always wanted. He might have had somewhere to be, but there was no time limit here. Not in the safety of his home miles away from anyone that really knew you. No way to be caught out by friends or significant others (who didn’t treat either of you better anyway). You lay together for a while afterwards too, in the gentle afterglow, talking like you always did; about nothing and everything… Until Harold decided that if he wanted to beat any traffic back home he best be heading off and reality dragged you back – as it always did. You may have had him all to yourself here, and for longer than you ever had before, but it was still never enough. By the time you were out of the shower, washing away the tacky ocean air and the heat of the moment, he was ready to leave. With just a towel wrapped around you as you combed through your hair, he entered the bathroom to kiss you goodbye, winding his strong arms around your waist his kisses grazed the shell of your ear before his moustache scratched your cheek as he kissed you again, making you scrunch your face and giggle. “Okay, I best make a move...” Harold’s hands were on your hips and you knew his hesitation. You weren’t in the mood to help him decide to leave you, and so just kept kissing him. But you had to admit to yourself that you were in two minds. Half of you just wanted him to leave so you could get him back quicker, the other half just wanted him to rip this towel from your body and take you to bed once more before he left. You could make a pretty safe bet that both options were going through his head too. Finally he did let you go and pulled away, you were proud of yourself for not whining at him or looking disappointed, you knew Harold had to go and you would let him. Collecting his things up again, Harold paused and turned back to you by the bedroom door; “Lock up when you leave-!” “I will!” “I’ll be back soon, okay, I’m just collecting a few items and checking in...” “Babe, I know, it’s okay.” And it was. Because despite your envy of that wedding band, it was for nothing but show. “Be good.” You couldn’t help but smirk at him; “I will.” “Work hard!” “Certainly-!” “Especially on my stuff-!” “Yes-! Of course! Now go-! Or you’ll get caught in traffic-!” He nodded, and waved you off with one last blown kiss. You gave it a few seconds, but had to call him back, because you’d forgotten something very important; “Oh! Harry!” (for this was the nickname you had designed for him – even though you didn’t use it so often yet… he was warming to it, you were sure!) Harold turned once more; eyes curious. “I love you.” He chuckled, “I know sweetheart. As you keep telling me.” He left you with a soft wink, and you waited to hear the front door close. Somehow that made you smile more. You knew he still wouldn’t say it, not with that ring on his hand… but you also knew he did love you. That was enough, it had to be enough, you had to let it be enough. All you could do now was wait for him to return to you and you could be patient! And yet, you already couldn’t wait to be back in his arms.

All things considered you’d had an amazing weekend hanging with your friends, and in the late evening sunshine you were all sitting in the lounge. There was a movie on but none of you were paying attention to it, more likely to only pay attention when you wanted to chat shit about it. But you were all chatting shit and spilling tea in general – and you’d really missed this all summer. You were lounging on your stomach across the couch, every so often munching on popcorn with your phone sat next to you. Ah, yes, by now you’d exchanged numbers. It was for emergencies only; and you really did mean emergencies. There was no casual texting of any kind; you still didn’t want anyone to be able to trace this. The trail you would leave would be simple texts that wouldn’t mean a thing to anyone else, nothing risqué… not even an ‘I miss you’… It wasn’t even a burner phone; it was your real mobile. And with nothing to take out of context, and nothing to look bad, how could anyone possibly touch you? ‘HH’ flashed up on your phone screen and suddenly hanging out with your friends no longer became fun. HH – for Henry Holland, a designer with a flair for putting H’s on everything, you thought it was about time you wore some of his stuff. Maybe that was a little too obvious. ‘I’m going to be here longer than I thought.’ A million thoughts flashed into your head, and you realised that you couldn’t ask him about any of them. But it worried you instantly – were things okay? Why did he need to stay longer? You weren’t sure what was going on with his family; and you weren’t close enough with Tom to casually ask him how things were, although that was still a number in your phone. Your thoughts began racing – silly things that shouldn’t even be thought about. Had he made up with Roz? Had it all come out? Someway, somehow and everyone back home was firefighting? No – if that was it you couldn’t imagine it wouldn’t get back to your parents, even out of spite. And then your phone really would be blowing up. Maybe he’d move the family out here? You weren’t sure you could see that working either: you’d only just managed to disentangle yourself from your families. You couldn’t imagine either of you wanted to go back to sneaking around (even though you had to admit there was a certain thrill attached to it). What was happening? And why could you only think of every worst case scenario…!? You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, suddenly feeling very dizzy. “Y/N… Y/N, are you okay!?” Your friends suddenly noticed how quiet you were; not to mention your lack of response to their banter. “Y-yeah…” You put on your best smile and turned your mobile over, “Just, overthinking!” You did eventually send a message back, just ‘Okay’ – because it was okay, it was his life. You could sit and be worried and want to call him but you knew you couldn’t. Neither of you were ready for that motion yet. But you didn’t receive anything else, and your first class of the week with him was taken by a substitute. Which had your friends teasing hitting home a little harder than it should; “HAHA! Y/N! What are you gonna do, you can’t drool for an entire lesson?” “Y/N just lost her eye candy.” “Oh my God guys, shut up!!” You laughed, “I can’t help that our best teacher is also hot---!” “That’s about the only reason you pay any attention!!!” “Oh sorry-!” You folded your arms, “At least I actually pay attention!” Although by the end of the lesson they were all agreeing with you – and this was one of the most boring classes you’d ever had the misfortune of sitting in. It made you miss him terribly. ** News of Harold’s return reached you before his text did. Accidently, of course; you were waiting for your tutor appointment when two other lecturers passed you. “I hear Harold got back last night!” “Oh thank GOD-! We can’t afford another week without him-!” “Should be back in tomorrow…” You were immediately elated, and desperate to see him. So when his text came through in the middle of your next class, you couldn’t help smiling like crazy. ‘Hey, I’m back in town. All good here, how are you?’ ‘Good. I’m fine.’ You chewed your lip, and then sent the next part anyway, ‘I’m glad you’re back… I missed you’ It didn’t receive a reply, you didn’t expect it too – you just needed to say it. The first thing you did when you got back on your laptop was book the first appointment with him you could, which had you flying up the stairs to his office the following morning. He laughed as you had to give yourself a minute to catch your breath, “I’m surprised you didn’t drive up yesterday.” “I just wanted to… let you settle back.” “You needn’t have.” Harold cupped your cheeks and touched his forehead gently to yours; you placed your hands over his, unable to stop beaming as the feel of him close to you once more. “Still, thank you for being so considerate.” You stood like that for a further few seconds, comfortable in each other’s presence before he kissed you. Not in the same way as he usually kissed you goodbye in this office. A real kiss, and removing his hands from your face only made you entwine your fingers with his. But you pulled back from him suddenly – which left him more than just a little surprised. Your eyes were wide by this point. You knew what it felt like to hold hands with him; because you always had to contend with a wedding band. You brought Harold’s hands up, removing your fingers from his – you couldn’t have helped your shocked gasp; he was void of one. “Wait, what-?!” He watched your face very carefully, but couldn’t help but smile himself. There was no point in teasing you with this one. “Divorced. Finalising.” You raised your eyes to his; disbelieving. You didn’t hear that – those words didn’t come from his mouth! And even if they did HOW and WHY!? “Shit, what-!?” Harold laughed, “I mean it’s a long story but, more of a test. Something that might sound like one last chance - I said they could move out here. She doesn’t want to leave. I can’t say that it didn’t feel like it was any damn excuse would do.” He shrugged, “Guess I gave her one.” “Wh…What about Tom?” Despite effectively stealing his son’s girlfriend, Harold still had a good relationship with Tom, you didn’t want that to change for him. “He’s a big kid, seems fine. We talked a lot while I was there. Trust me, I think it’s safe to say we all got what we wanted…” He brushed his lips to yours once more, and wound his arms around you pulling you into a tight embrace. “I knew it was over Y/N, I just had to be sure.” You nodded, “I know. I know; I’m not mad. It’s all over… It feels a little, freer now.” You couldn’t be sure it felt like it quite yet, but one big weight had certainly just been lifted off this relationship. If Harold wasn’t married this was no longer an affair, even if it had started that way. He was now free to be in a caring relationship. You were lucky to be that person. You knew that. You were lucky to be the one in his arms right now that he was telling this too. He was yours and you were gonna do your best to take care of him here. Like he always took care of you. Harold couldn’t help but think, as he held you here - your arms around him, holding him like you’d never let go, on where this could be going. On the prospect of planning and building a future with you. It’d be for the long haul, and it wouldn’t be easy – but it was doable. He could see it. It may take time, but Harold hoped you’d see it to. That eventually you’d be ready to talk about things like that… And suddenly he realised, he could say it, he could say ‘I love you’ out loud. He could tell you just like you told him, and he could mean it – although he always had. You were still young, you had time to figure things out. He tipped your chin up so that he could kiss you once more and you gripped him even tighter. It was all about enjoying this moment right here. Harold didn’t have to start again. He already had all he needed.

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Thank you for reading! 💙💜

#Adore #harold #Harold x Reader #Adoration #163 #Linzi Writes #Laina #Question: Who is more likely to end up happy... This girl or the one with Phil?#Neither? Both?#Smol Bean Drabbles #Part of me feels this is the last part #Part of me really wants to keep going with these two #But don't really know where I can take them that won't end up with a lot of drama!!!

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