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grigori77 · 2 years

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Critical Role Campaign 3 Episode 35

Oh dear ... Sam, please have mercy upon us. This robot skit is BAD. But in a good way ... wait ... Marisha is beat boxing? Really? And now they've BROKEN TRAVIS ... Marisha: "You suck Adverbot!!" Yes. Yes he does ...

Meanwhile, does this mean Sam's gonna be GOLD for the rest of the episode? Like that time he did that Blue Man Group skit?

Liam: "Let's go to the pumpkin patch to watch Laudna rise!"

And then the episode starts proper and MARISHA'S GONE AGAIN!!! NOOOOOOO!!!

No direction, let's just get the flock outta here ...

Travis: "The person who takes really good notes isn't here any more." Thanks for reminding us, Travis!

Treshi: "I can get you gold." Imogen: "Fuck your gold." FCG: "Wait, how much?"

He offers them 10,000 in gold, platinum and silver. Fearne: "Well that's not very much."

Wow ... Taliesin gets first roll of the night and THAT IS ABYSSMAL, isn't it?

Laudna IS NOT CARGO!!!

Imogen trawls Treshi's mind ... oof, this really doesn't give us much to go on, does it? Oh, hold on ... shit, that was a bust too. Gah! So basically Treshi was just a STOOGE!!! Damn it ...

Perpetually and professionally confused ...

Oh, the orb ... it's dark. Technically that's a GOOD THING.

I love that we're just calling it "red moon shit" now. I think that's what it should be called all the time now.

Seriously, why is he still being so full of himself? He's completely useless now.

Mould storage? Sounds good. XD Yeah, that's more like it. Have fun getting the black lung, Treshi!

Ashton: "But everything arouses you these days." Chetney: "Well that's just an old age thing ... yeah, that's the dnd of that thought."

It's true, all of this is SHIT if they can't save Laudna ...

Laudna's already undead ... so if they undead her undeadness, that's gonna make her ALIVE?

Ashton was DEAD dead?

Seriously? Imogen, you wanna stay as far away from THAT crazy evil bitch as possible ...

Yeah, Whitestone. Go there.

Ah yeah, the Briarwood Saga gets a loredump from Orym. Sweet.

You see, this is the problem. Until they get back to Jrusar everything else is academic. They're basically stuck in a holding pattern ...

Gods, I hate this right now, this is agony.

Yeah, I think Imogen just needs some company at night right now ...

Messages, messages.

Here we go ... calling The Voice of The Tempest. Oh man ... this one starts to break Imogen ...

KEYLETH!!! "Pick a tree." OH SHIT!!!

Chetney: "Whoa! That is the best use of wood I've ever heard of!" I swear Chetney's at full salute right now ...

Wait, does this mean that Hexum is in on the plot too? Imogen: "Is EVERYONE evil?"

Okay ... message to Jianna Hexum ... "Sweet little metal boy ..." XD

Imogen: "Thanks for wasting our spell, bitch."

Yeah, she's totally gonna want FCG. There's no two ways about it.

Ashton is PRICKLY about this shit. He really loves his little metal man.

Laura: (gasps) You have a Shared Dream spell?!!"

Travis: "That's some Teen Wolf shit."

Imogen sleeps in the hole with Laudna's body. With it open, of course.

"On the second day of travel ..."

Shit. Sandstorm ... looks like a BITCH, too ...

Skill check? This doesn't sound good ...

Ashton Rages to hold onto the rope ... and Taliesin rolls an 8. Shit! They've lost a sail!

Chetney: "OLD MAN STRENGTH!!!" Travis: "I get in thereand let my sweet pythons go to work." 21! Nice!

FCG helps Xandis stay super focused with Enhance Ability.

Chetney: "That's a hard deck!" But this low down it's not so fucken wimdy ...

Whoa ... seriously, are they using the wind to DRIFT THE SKYSHIP LIKE A TOKYO RICE ROCKET?!!!

Fearne: "Wait, why's everybody looking at ME to do something?"

Sam: "Guys, this search for spells is sponsored by D&D Beyond."

Matt: "That's the second failure." General gasps. Ashley: " I knew it!"

Oh fuck! Xandis: "I don't got it!" They've lost a sail, they are in CHAOS!!! Are they gonna crash?

Ah ... turns out Plant Growth is useless in this situation ... but the broken deck does turn into a beautiful garden before it whips off into the storm.

Hold on, guys! Oh fuck! FCG is GONE!!! Just vanished!

26 points of bludgeoning damage on impact!

TWO natural 1s? Snake Eyes?

Oh fuck ... Ashton is ALONE on the ship with the rest of the crew as they emerge ...

Everybody else takes 36 POINTS OF BLUDGEONING DAMAGE!!!

And now they're all scattered wherever when the storm clears. Fuck ...

My gods Xandis is SO Dutch right now ... Matt, are you doing that on purpose?

Travis: "Are there any HOLES around any of us right now?"

Fearne starts screaming ... then uses her Pan Flute to try and guide the others to her.

FCG'S rolling his way through the fresh dust like R2D2 ...

Oh ... Fearne is SINKING. Mirthful Leap? Somehow that actually works ... wow. Whoa! That was a CREATURE?!!! Fuck ...

Fearne is walking weird ... oh, she's trying to do the Arrakis sand dance so she doesn't walk with rhythm! Is that actually necessary right now?

FCG has to follow her tracks to keep from GETTING EATEN!!! And it doesn't make any real difference. I KNEW IT!!!

Imogen casts Fly on FCG and scoops him up.

The Silver Sun is coming ... RUN!!!

Bait and Switch - Orym saves Fearne by kicking her in the back? Okay ...

Oh dear ... Fearne's out but Orym is now IN THE PIT with a scary sandworm thingy ...

Yuck ... this thing is NASTY. Travis is NOT HAPPY. I swear Matt does that on purpose just to mess with him.

Imogen's gonna try a Superman rescue ... but Orym's shield is WEDGED in its maw. Oh shit ... she tries to shout an order to it go release and it doesn't work. Telekinesis instead, then ... 18! Yes! They're free!

FCG has a ROTOR BLADE ATTACHMENT?!!! Matt: (laughing with incredulity) "That's right!"

Chetney gets scooped up like Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies. Cue girly screaming.

Thank fuck THAT'S over ...

They need to repair the ship ... Chetney's time has come! Look at all that damage for him to mend ...

Oh shit ... is Treshi dead? Oh thank fuck ... he's just unconscious ...

Time for a break. Just in time, looks like. Everybody is BATTERED.

So Laura screwed up her math and thought she was weaker than she is ...

Damn it Matt, stop cranking up the tension like that. Oh ... you mean there's ANOTHER STORM BEHIND THEM?!!! AAAAAARGH!!!

Oh no, turns out that's a GOID THING!!! Tailwind! Nice! Shave off a whole day of travel!

Laura's offended by the crumbs on Sam's notebook. Which are actually bits of nail polish he's been picking off. Which is WAY worse.

The rest of the journey is uneventful ... thank the gods ... they return to the docks without further incident. Xandis rightly wants them politely GONE.

Second airship ... is that anything in particular? Doesn't seem so ... yeah, I REALLY don't trust you right now, Matt.

Treshi is NOT a happy camper. Which is a bonus. Back in the hole, bitch.

Awwwww ... Orym gives the spyglass that Fearne stole from Xandis back. That's so sweet.

Is Xandis naturally ridiculous or is it a cunning ruse? Either way is fun.

Wait ... is FCG looking out for that one particular bastard seagull?

The Herald's Breath ...

Farewell, Captain Xandis, we love you, you ridiculous little dude.

I love that little in-character groan from Laura at the mention of the gondolas ...

Ah ... okay, watching FCG trying to get his coin back from our resident klepto Fearne is peak comedy.

FCG tries to get to the root of WHY Fearne does that ... it excites her, clearly. Is he actually seriously offering her THERAPY for that, right now?

Ashton: "Something is being learned by someone and I honestly have no idea by whom. "

I think you're being awfully optimistic, there's no way Otohan is dead.

Orym's head's on a swivel as always ...

Back to Eshteross' place ... knock knock ... the door unlocks on its own. That can't be good ...

Imogen sends to Eshteross ... phew. He's okay, he's just being SUPER PARANOID. Damn, they almost just walked into a boobytrapped house of DEATH ...

Fuck, he's REALLY gone overboard with the traps, hasn't he?

Ashton gives Eshteross a present ... by emptying out the hole with a flourish.

So ... anonymity or money ... which is better right now?

Maniah Terai ... OH!!! She's overseer of treescapes? THAT might be helpful right now. I mean couldn't she at least point them to a nice fat tree for Keyleth to walk through?

Ooooh ... bonuses ... that looks like a SHIT TON of platinum.

Okay ... another message to Keyleth, then. Imogen's making this sound SO desperate, too ...

Keyleth's still busy ... shit ...

Imogen: "She's not so righteous that she might turn us away?" Orym: "No. No."

Oh yeah, reckon Eshteross' house is the safest place for Laudna's body right now.

Sam, WHAT THE FUCK Re you doing with your flask THIS TIME?!!! C'mon, man!

Okay, so they're just telling Eshteross EVERYTHING then. Including the Residuum and the Cerberus Assembly ...

And now he's as worried as they are, clearly ...

Imogen: "I think all of us are in too deep to pull out now." Everybody slowly realises just what Laura actually just said and they start laughing. Cue Beavis and Butthead impressions and puerile laughter. Matt tries to carry on but he just loses it ... she has COMPLETELY derailed the episode. Was that by accident or intentional, Laura?

Oh no ... stale gingersnaps are no fun ... OH!!! Yeah, for Laudna! Yeah, that's a sweet idea. Eshteross is a baking sugar daddy and we love him for it. XD

Oh! Greater Potion of Healing! Sweet! Liam: "This dude's hoise is John Wick'd OUT!!!" Travis: "Trade-off is he can never find his TV remote."

Oh no ... Laudna's Vial of Blood has turned into a vial-full if ASH?!!! Gods ... I really didn't need THAT pain right now ...

Lead box into FCG's mouth? Really? He won't just digest it?

Dealing out the potions ...

Off to the Chandei Chambers, then ... is it Orlana or Alana Seshadri?

Imogen: (into guards head) "We have her bounty." Guard: "Come this way." Travis: "Nice!"

Wow, she just wants it right there, then ... okay. Ashton almost just dumps it all out right on the spot.

Information exchange, then ... the whole info dump? Nope, tit for tat ...

Ah yeah, Artana ... never mind, kid ...

The Nightmare King, then ... so she knows who Ira is. Not good. And then the Paragon's Call. Yeah, drop THAT name ...

Fearne does an insight check ... oh, 13? This is a politician, guys.

So, the Paragon's Call. Oh, so THEY'RE out now that Treshi's been found out. Okay, dodged THAT bullet at least.

Ashton has the crate with him ... so HE gets the Perry Mason moment instead of Chetney.

The Cerberus Assembly doesn't quite convince, it seems. They need proof for THAT ONE then. But otherwise ...

Okay, she's just walking off ... is this not a good thing, then? They're all getting paranoid, and I'm with them ...

Okay, payment ... but no favour. Yeah, that's about right.

Fearne: "Are you excited for the Apogee Solstice?" Seshadri: "I am not sure what that is." Ashley: "Insight check!" Everybody else: "Ooooooh!"

Chetney made a Bells Hells logo. Ashton takes exception and DEFINITELY wants final approval for THAT.

Wow ... 12,000 GP? Fucking hell ...

Wow, it IS getting late.

Meanwhile once again Laura's channeling Vex again as she divies up the coinage ...

Okay, NOW what? Taliesin: "Where's somewhere somebody could get in a lot of trouble attacking somebody in?"

Spire By Fire! Yay!

So Imogen and FCG are gonna go looking around in Ashton's head, then ... yeah, nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong with THAT plan ...

Holy fuck ... so Ashton basically died by stepping on a magic landmine? Ouch.

This whole death experience sequence is pretty much pure nightmare fuel ...

Oof ... Ashton's brain as a galactic representation of MEMORY? That's fucking trippy ...

Oh dear, is Imogen getting too deep into this? Shit, it looks like she IS. She's lost in Ashton's memory galaxy ...

Wait ... now FCG's trapped in there too? Fuck ...

They're trapped on opposite sides of the crystal prison ... Sam: "It's like Kirk and Spock!"

Sam: "I will cast Command on Ashton." Matt: "You need to SEE the subject of your Command." Sam: "Can I cast it on myself?" Matt: "You are an Ashton-based construct right now." Travis: (laughing) "Oh shit!"

This shit is starting to get dangerously psychedelic right now ... Travis' mind is being BLOWN right now. ALL of our minds are being blown ...

"There is strength, but there is pain. There is pain, but there is strength."

So Ashton is gonna try and punch himself in the head and rage ... yeah, this sounds like a truly IDIOTIC plan ... epic fail. This is NOT WORKING.

Wait ... did they just bust out? That was crazy. I mean that was A BLOODY MESS ...

Hahaha ... are they seriously saying that Ashton is the Universe Brain Man? That's fucken wild.

Ashton: "I thought maybe it wasn't just random fucking chaos but it is very much just random fucking chaos."

Whoa ... does that mean Ashton was once HUMAN?

So basically Ashton's brain is a psychic bear trap. Ashton: "I can respect that."

This whole group is a whole big mess of crazy backstory craziness. Except for Orym. Which is about right.

The night passes without incident. Now what?

Time go find a tree.

Imogen's casting a Sending spell ... on Delilah Briarwood. Fuck's sake, Imogen ...

She's dying. And she's taking Laudna with her ...

Okay ... going to wherever Keyleth is. That's the smart move.

Wow ... this place is GORGEOUS. The Bodhan Collective. Here we go ...

Okay, Terai seems like a completely fascinating individual. Quite adorable in fact.

Another message to Keyleth. This is getting complicated ... is she coming to them or are they going to her?

Oh shit! The tree portal thingy! Okay ... OH MY GOD!!! KEYLETH OF THE AIR ASHARI!!! THE VOICE OF THE TEMPEST!!! SHE'S HERE!!!

Whoa ... okay, she's still the same old Keyleth, then. That's adorable. I can't stop grinning like an idiot ...

Okay ... so are they all going with her to Whitestone? Really?

They rush through the archway ... and THAT'S the end of the episode.

So ... wait ... hey, that's cool ... could they maybe let MARISHA be Keyleth in this next episode? That would be so cool for her AND for us ...

#critical role #campaign 3 spoilers #campaign 3 episode 35 #matt mercer #marisha ray #laudna #travis willingham #chetney pock o'pea #laura bailey #imogen temult #liam o'brien #orym of the air ashari #ashley johnson #fearne calloway #taliesin jaffe #ashton greymoore #sam riegel #fresh cut grass

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