#more fat harvey NOW

[stardew-shitposterino]

Stardew Valley Bachelors and how they deal with their secret crush on the farmer

———-——————————

BEHOOOOLD! I’m kind of back but I’m not because I have a job and feel tired most of the time. I still need to get used to adult life. Anyway, here are the bachelors and how they deal with having a fat crush on you, you cutesy farmer person covered in filth!

Contents might be a bit NSFW so MINORS…you know what not to do *fights them off with a stick*

Enjoy my brainrot 🍓🥰

Sam:

-Sammy is a cute little guy, almost like a dog wagging it’s tail when they see their owner.

-he is SO BAD at hiding it

-he will dream about you two jamming on a big stage together. In his ideal world, you two are a successful duo who make noise rock (kind of like the white stripes minus the weird siblings or married controversy)

-Sam will write songs about you. It’s not intentional per say, and he thinks he really sucks at writing love songs, but it just happens whenever he has to think about you. The words just start flowing.

-he might or might not have had some steamy shower fantasies about you…while in the shower. Jodie keeps complaining about the water bill being unusually high 👀

-yet, Sam is usually not too horny when he is in love with you. He is more gushy and daydreamy than anything

Sebastian:

-homeboy works with nightcore versions of love songs to cope with his longing

-he isn’t the type to show his feelings so openly, so no one really notices his crush on you. Maybe Sam, but well, he is Seb’s best bud. Of course he can tell

-He notices how his sleep has improved since having a crush on you. He willingly goes to bed earlier to have some time to imagine scenarios of you two

-just you and him together on his cool ass motorcycle, driving into the night and ending it with a passionate kiss (sounds familiar?)

-well,,, let’s just say Seb is increasingly horny since having a crush on you. Before, he was almost certain he is some sort of asexual, but nope 😃 he’s healthy and extremely down bad for the filthy farmer who eats raw fish out of the pond 🥰

-what I mean by horny? Uhhh… he didn’t really need to rely on certain websites to satisfy his needs, that’s for sure 👀

Harvey:

-Harvey is a good man. A very good man

-god bless his soul 😫

-Harv isn’t the type to have crushes easily…I can’t believe it either, considering his crush on Maru who is way younger than him 💀

-but in my head, he isn’t the type to be all lovey dovey over someone. That’s why he’s so bad at hiding it. But you don’t really notice. You just suspect it but it could also be his usual anxiety lol

-it happened anyway😎 and he doesn’t know how to cope. At all.

-he has to think about you at all times, especially when he looks at the empty jars of delicious pickles you’ve made him

-This man is usually collected, but now?! He forgets everything, can’t even form a comprehensible sentence at times when his mind is busy thinking about a romantic picknick date with a lovely farmer

-Harvey’s libido is pretty much a dead beat horse 💀 but now he even feels the desire to do some nasty nasty at times. It’s still pretty tame, he’s a gentleman through and through, but wild for him to have those feelings and longings after what feels like decades. He’s not mad at it. He has felt low-key dead inside for so long so this is very exciting and he’s eager to explore this side of him…despite being anxious 😭

Elliott:

-bet your ass he’s the prince of crushes

-he is very dedicated and welcomes those refreshing feelings with a kiss

-feeling better than usual AND having inspiration to write ?! SIGN HIM UP

-he will use every chance he can get to talk to you, maybe even get you drunk (in a non creepy way) because he likes when you’re unapologetically authentic and let loose. It makes him feel more in touch with your soul (or some shit idk I’m not a poet)

-Elliott is NOT SUBTLE

-you practically know from the start that he has the hots for you, but it’s kinda funny seeing him try to pretend it’s not that way…if you can even call that pretending not to be 😭

- his passion doesn’t end at his artistry. This guy will spend a lot of time in his shower thinking about what could be, or sitting at the docks at night just staring at the sea (he’s NOT doing anything nasty in public, peeps. Don’t get it twisted)

-I can also see him recreate a romantic bedroom date he’d love to have with you…but it’s just him 🤷🏼‍♀️ self care king 👑

Shane:

-like Harvey: HE CANNOT COPE!

-he hasn’t felt like this since high school. Every other encounter with potential partners was surface level and only based on sexual satisfaction

-so caring about you, thinking about what makes you happy and how he could be the reason you smile every day, that’s a lot for him

-as stupid as it sounds, he spirals and becomes low-key miserable over it. Give this man a 101 lesson on how to process emotions 😭

-despite the constant anxiety he feels, he low-key enjoys it. It’s kind of hopeless as well as pointless in his honest opinion, but there is this believe, that 0.00001% chance (in his mind) that he could turn his life around and be happy with you, married and maybe have a child of his own one day

-but that’s wishful thinking, riiiiiiight? So what does a self loathing piece of alcoholic man do instead of making a move? Yeah, self pleasure even more than usual, to get at least a bit of serotonin and the willpower to get his shit together, at least for you if it isn’t for him. He’s pretty rough with it too (ouch, unless you’re into that)

-sorry bros but him having a crush is not really all that cute. He’s my cutie pie, but let’s be real: him dealing with those feelings he tried to shut off for so long will be tragic in a way. He’s battling his inner demons here. So yeah… :(

Alex:

-my man, my maaaaan 🥰

-he has earned a soft spot in my heart, bless his soul

-so Alex has a crush on you from the start, it’s basically canon

-can he show his feelings? Yes! Can he do that in a way that can be read as the feelings he tries to get across to you? NO!

-low-key bullying is his love language 🥰

-at least in the beginning. He’s a bit anxious and fears he isn’t good enough for you, so he doesn’t try to be authentic. Being the jock jerk everyone expects him to be gets a reaction out of you and that’s better than nothing, right?

-he’s neither the poetic nor the intellectual type, so he doesn’t process his emotions by writing them down or putting them into words. Just imagine him going about his work-out routine, just thinking about your beautiful smile and rocking bod while sweating like a hog

-Alex and quiet ? Yes that’s possible. I imagine him to go quieter than usual since having a crush on you. He processes everything internally and that takes a lot of time for him as he usually just shrugs off his emotions and doesn’t try to brood too much on them. But now?! He can’t but blush in silence as he just imagines how soft and small your hands must be next to his (yours are way more impressive than his and calloused to the gods, but let him have this moment)

-when it comes to being nasty…Alex is a serial romantic. We know that he probably was the lady’s man back in school so he probably got some action one way or another. In other words, man has the libido of a teen that just hit puberty 💀

-despite being quite horny, he was able to manage to just do it every other day. Now, he cannot even get out of bed in the morning before doing it as you pester his dreams and make his hormones go crazy first thing in the morning…so many nice boxer shorts were lost along the way 🫡

-he also did his own laundry for the first time during that period lmfao

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv shane #sdv bachelors #sdv Alex #sdv Sam #sdv Elliott #sdv Harvey #sdv sebastian #sdv headcanons #stardew valley harvey #stardew valley shane #Stardew valley Sam #stardew valley sebastian #Stardew valley Elliott #Stardew valley Alex

[johannestevans]

So you finished Our Flag Means Death…

What show do you want to obsess over now?

Also read on Medium / / Read on Patreon.

So, Our Flag Means Death, unexpected workplace romcom chock-a-block with anachronistic 18th century fun, piracy on the high seas, gay and trans and otherwise genderweird and queer characters, not to mention neurodivergent and disabled ones, is over for at least another year. You’re aching for something of a similar flavour to fill the gap — especially if, like many of us, the finale has left you disappointed and eager to watch a show with a bit more care for its queer audiences.

Want recs?

After finishing Our Flag Means Death, I’m in the mood for…

Ed cradling Stede’s face in S1 of Our Flag Means Death. Via IMDb. 

… more (relatively) light-hearted queer comedy!

The most obvious example I can start with is, of course, What We Do In The Shadows. While its fifth season was weak, its sixth season was in my opinion its best ever — a spin-off of the Taika Waititi-directed (and starring) mockumentary film of the same name, WWDITS is a fun-filled, ridiculous and deeply silly show starring a variety of incompetent and bumbling and blood-thirsty vampires and their various friends, enemies, and companions. It’s constantly and continuously queer, with the majority of the cast of characters being openly bisexual, and one of them being gay and having an emotive coming-out arc with his family.

Nandor (Kayvan Novak) and Guillermo de la Cruz (Harvey Guillén) in WWDITS. Via IDMb. 

WWDITS follows the adventures of Guillermo de la Cruz, fat and gay and badass and so fucking pretty, the familiar to a vampire named Nandor the Relentless, a big himbo ex-warrior plagued by insecurity and ready to enter in power struggles with anybody from a fellow warrior to a household appliance, and the rest of Nandor’s household — Laszlo Cravensworth (once an English aristocrat, still a dandy, charming, slutty, and well-spoken — and often tinkering with experiments or DIY), Nadja of Antipaxos (once an impoverished member of a Mediterranean village, dramatic, intelligent, sharp-witted, and wry — and often getting involved in various misadventures), and Colin Robinson (an “emotional vampire” who feeds by boring those about him, dull, mundane, and painfully cringe at all times in the best of ways). As a mockumentary, its tone is silly and light-hearted, but it’s not without its emotional stakes, and there’s so many references to other pop culture vampires. 

The BBC’s sitcom, Ghosts, is a great sitcom to go for if you’re in the mood for more of a neurodivergent found family vibe, with sumptuous costumes and a complex and intriguing cast who have a lot of wonderful moments with each other. The show follows Alison and Mike, who inherit a manor house and find when they start to refurbish it that it’s full to the brim with silly, ridiculous, and unrelentingly friendly — not to mention antagonistic — ghosts. Ghosts, like Our Flag Means Death claimed to be prior to its S2 finale, is a tremendously loving and kind show — it spends a lot of its time building up flawed characters and encouraging them to change and grow, giving you time as a viewer to love them. 

See any familiar faces? Many of the Ghosts cast also appear in Horrible Histories. Via IMDb. 

The show is not as continuously or constantly queer as WWDITS, but it does have elements of queerness dotted around the main cast, particularly in the character of the Captain, the ghost of a WW1 soldier who was never deployed abroad, but spent his time in service yearning for the intimate company of a fellow soldier. 

Brendan Scannell and Zoe Levin in Bonding. Via IMDb. 

Want something a little weirder, a little kookier? Crave a bit more of the BDSM flavouring around Our Flag, more whips, more leather, more latex, more kink? You might like to try Bonding — this show features a woman who begins moonlighting as a dominatrix and then employs her gay BFF as her assistant. It suffers from the tendency shows like this have to sideline Pete a bit as the gay BFF, with some of his characterisation being squandered to prop up the less interesting protagonist, but it’s really funny and honestly super heartfelt. 

And if you want really weird, really kooky, and unabashedly and delightfully and wonderfully queer, there is always The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo, which is a gorgeously funny and loving gay comedy that you can watch online!

Apart from those above, you might like to try Special (a sitcom exploring the romantic and sexual misadventures of a deeply selfish and flawed character a la Stede Bonnet, this one a young gay man with cerebral palsy), Schitt’s Creek (a sitcom about a posh family falling on hard times and featuring several queer characters, particularly the bisexual David Rose, played by Dan Levy), and Grace and Frankie (a show about two ageing women who are best friends, and whose husbands leave them to start a romance with one another). 

… more of the stunning cast!

You’ve watched Our Flag Means Death and you’re craving more of the spectacular and incredibly skilled cast. 

If you want more of Nathan Foad (Lucius Spriggs) particularly, you’re in luck — last year, Foad wrote and served as executive producer on a show loosely inspired by his early life as a weird boy growing up gay in Nottinghamshire, Newark, Newark. It’s very silly, funny, full to the brim with love, and also deeply silly and willing to get in touch with the cringe side of life. It’s only three episodes, but starring the unparalleled Morgana Robinson as the harried mother of Leslie, the closeted-but-not sixteen-year-old who is trying desperately to lead the tragic gay life he’s seen on TV, it really makes the most of that limited runtime, and it’s so fucking good. Nathan Foad even has a cameo in it as a freaky and overfamiliar employee at the bowling alley. 

He has a cameo in another great show, too — Bloods is an incredible sitcom about two NHS paramedics working in an ambulance together. It’s rapid-paced, it’s messy, it’s horrible and hilarious, and it stars Jane Horrocks as Wendy across from Our Flag’s Samson Kayo (Oluwande) as Maleek. The two are chalk and cheese in the front seat of their ambulance together, and Kayo is so incredible in the lead role balancing Maleek’s own desire to appear as cool and tough whilst also being vulnerable and having his own insecurities, especially because Wendy challenges him on so many points. Wendy is great as well, the two an exercise in contrasts, but Kayo and Horrocks are spectacular among an equally spectacular cast — you get to see so many different dynamics at the depot and in other settings, amongst other NHS staff, and the show is non-stop with the punches and the punchlines. If you really enjoy how well-balanced and how fitting the soundtrack to Our Flag is, you’ll love the music and its pacing in Bloods. Foad’s cameo in this is as Wendy’s neurotic and kind of a fuck-up son, and he’s so messy.

If you want more of Joel Fry (Frenchie), he stars in the first few seasons of Plebs — this is a goofy comedy set in Ancient Rome, and it’s not dissimilar to The Inbetweeners in its tone and content. Some of the jokes are funny, sometimes. I don’t recommend it because it really gives Joel Fry his full acting chops — but he’s hot and he’s funny and he’s cute in this, and even if you’re not super passionate about the show, if you like Frenchie, you probably will like Stylax too. 

Joel Fry and Con O’Neill (Izzy Hands) also both play characters in season 2 of Ordinary Lies, which is an anthology series, so you don’t need to watch season 1. The premise of the show each season is that the narrative jumps between characters in a workplace and explores the ramifications of the small lies they tell themselves and each other. While O’Neill’s role is a more typical set of lies that concerns adultery (or not), Fry’s involves vigilanteism and attempts at superheroism, and the plot is quite fun. This show is obviously a drama, and is tragically heterosexual on many points, but for all that, has its good and intriguing elements too. 

But what about Con O’Neill doing what he’s good at — playing wet, pathetic men? Very wet, very pathetic men? In Happy Valley, O’Neill plays a gloriously wet and pathetic man named Neil Ackroyd, who enters into a relationship with the protagonist, Catherine Cawood’s, sister, Clare. Clare is an alcoholic in recovery, as is Neil, and they have a really sweet and mutually supportive relationship — Neil’s particularly gorgeous in the most recent series, where he really dotes on Catherine’s grandson, Ryan, and he and Clare play a great duo. Neil is introduced in the beginning of season 2. 

The premise of the series is that Catherine Cawood, a police officer in Yorkshire, is attempting to solve crimes while at the same time her grandson, Ryan, is curious about and desires to make contact with his father, whom he has never met. Ryan’s mother was raped by his father and died by suicide after Ryan’s birth, whereon Catherine raised him alongside her sister. Happy Valley is a cop show, and Catherine Cawood is really funny as a character. She’s a deeply conservative and cruel, reactionary woman who constantly engages in police brutality whilst trampling over people’s rights — she believes that people are born evil and bad, effectively, and while she often talks about the effects poverty have on people’s outlooks, lifestyles, and actions, she can’t quite make that connection with her beliefs. As a cop show, it’s really interesting because it’s very pro-cop and tries to be on Catherine’s side for much of her crueller actions, but at the same time is so starkly blunt about the awful shit she does that it doesn’t exactly make you put faith in cops no matter the intent. Clare Cawood, and then Neil, are naturally far more critical of Catherine’s perspective. 

But if you really loved Izzy at his best in S2, if you love Izzy full of love whilst also being precise and cold and calculated in the defence of his family, if you love him beautiful and wonderful and unabashedly queer, you’ll undoubtedly adore Val, who appears in Uncle as the transfem and gorgeous dad of Gwen. Uncle isn’t a great TV show, it’s an example of one of those shows where they give a deeply dull cishet white dude who feels insecure a show where he sort of masturbates about how much he sucks and how he’s unlovable, but really, isn’t it on the people around him to love him anyway?

But Val is great. She’s so much fun, she’s funny and sharp and full of quips, she’s flirtatious, she’s hot, and she has some tremendous gender stuff going on as well as some gorgeous costuming throughout. If you like Uncle’s humour, watch all the episodes — if you don’t, just skip everything that doesn’t have Val in it. Val is where the good stuff is. 

Or don’t watch it at all, and just watch this scene pack on YouTube: 

Taika Waititi appears far more in great movies than he does TV shows, although he’s also one of the producers on Reservation Dogs, which is excellent — it’s a native-led and starring comedy series, and it rocks. Most of the time when Waititi does TV, it’s in cameos. 

Apart from the cameo he makes in the What We Do In The Shadows TV show, I mentioned in the sitcom section, Taika Waititi also appears in the Flight of the Conchords TV series, starring the band members of the band of the same name. Rhys Darby also appears in every episode as Jemaine and Bret’s fictional manager, Murray Hewitt, and Murray is such a fun, bizarre character — and with a wholly different facial hair situation than you might have imagined for him before. 

Wholly different facial hair. Via IMDb. 

… more sailors!

Pickings are slim for a good pirate show, or indeed, any good show with nautical flavours to it — scenes at sea are high budget and hard to shoot, and as was evident with much of Our Flag Means Death’s second season at the hands of HBO Max, many studios do not want to proffer the budget for such things. 

Let’s start with the best of recommendations — a show that’s unapologetically queer, anti-imperialist, anti-establishment, and full to the absolute brim with pirates, historical and fictional. Interested in Mary Read, Anne Bonny, Calico Jack, Benjamin Hornigold, Israel Hands, or of course, the inimitable Edward ‘Blackbeard’ Teach, real historical pirates who are portrayed and played with in the course of Our Flag Means Death, and want to see a very different take on them? Enjoy lesbians constantly scheming to kill each other, torture each other, and generally make one another miserable (sexual)? Read Treasure Island, perhaps, and ever wonder what came before?

Not-Yet-Captain Flint (Toby Stephens) and Thomas Hamilton (Rupert Penry-Jones) in Black Sails. Via IMDb. 

Black Sails has all of the above and more — while it is very queer and anti-establishment, I will say that it’s far more similar in tone to Game of Thrones than to OFMD. The comedy bits are hilarious in part because the stakes are so high, but Black Sails is firmly a drama, and a gritty, violent one at that. It lacks the escapism present in OFMD — there is constant and continuous sexual violence, brutal gore and brutality, racism, classism, deep misogyny and homophobia from the society around the characters. The characters on offer are varied and complex, flawed, and interesting, but your mileage may vary with how much you vibe with them. 

Making use of some of Starz’ old set pieces for Black Sails, including some of their ships, the new One Piece live-action reboot — an adaptation of the anime of the same name (itself an adaptation of the manga) — is a fast-paced, fantastical, and colourful new release. If what you loved about Our Flag was its playful relationship with real-life piracy and chronistic details, its flexibility with “reality” and its eagerness to play around with tropes and expectations, with its creation of found family through a ragtag and varied mix of individuals. What it isn’t, unfortunately, is textually or explicitly queer, let alone as unabashedly queer as Our Flag and Black Sails are respectively. 

HMS Terror and HMS Erebus sailing through the surface ice in The Terror. Via IMDb. 

If you’d rather have queer sailors at any cost than having ones that aren’t explicitly queer, there is, of course, season 1 of The Terror. Based off of Dan Simmons’ magical horror reimagining of the real events of the lost ships in the Arctic, the HMS Terror and HMS Erebus, the first season of this anthology horror series is itself a deeply anti-imperial story following the events of two British ships that become stranded on the ice whilst attempting to discover the North-West Passage, and in so doing poison themselves and the land and people around them. Stuck in place in a cold and unfamiliar environment that does not have sufficient resources to sustain them — and in any case, an environment and resources that as invaders of, they do not know how to live in relationship with — they are hunted by an Inuit spirit, a representation of and manifestation of the imbalance they’ve caused by their mere presence. 

The Terror has a few more explicitly gay dynamics in the book than in the TV show, but the show does feature an unstable, cannibalistic bastard of a man whose favourite hobbies are identity theft, violence, and emotional manipulation — and he’s gay. Representation win! 

As you might imagine from that description, The Terror is not a cheerful, happy show — it’s deeply violence and very at home with hopelessness, but has some fascinating exploration of British imperialism, whiteness, class dynamics, queer men on ships, and chilling horror. 

And it’s not a TV show, but I would be remiss if I did not mention and recommend Taika Waititi’s favourite romance movie — Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003, dir. Peter Weir). Based off of Patrick O’Brien’s long-running Aubreyad, starting with Master and Commander, this film is about Captain Jack Aubrey and his duet partner and best friend (wink wink) Stephen Maturin, the ship’s surgeon. It’s a gorgeous film and while of course not explicit, it’s pretty fucking gay — although unlike the other pieces I’ve mentioned, as Napoleonic-era fanfiction about British navymen, it’s not nearly as critical of British imperialism as one might like, with the majority of the criticism coming from Maturin, and might leave a poor taste in the mouth compared to pieces more critical of the British imperial evil. 

… more queer period dramas and historical shows!

Anne Lister (Suranne Jones) contemplating her hat and gloves. Via IMDb. 

Let’s start with a historical drama — Gentleman Jack, starring Suranne Jones, is set in the early 1800s and is an biographical look at the life of the cryptic diarist and all around delightfully butch lesbian dirtbag, Anne Lister. Apart from the obviously intriguing concept, the show has some sumptuous costuming and set designs, and there are so many different characters and dynamics throughout. I’m always a sucker for an epistolary piece, and as it’s based off of Lister’s diaries, this show has a lot of epistle work throughout. 

If you’re a sucker for lesbians in period dramas, though, you might just like Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries — the eponymous Phryne Fisher is not the lesbian in question. She’s a flapper and private detective in 1920s Melbourne, complete with a little golden gun, and is very hetero — but her best friend, a doctor named Mac (short Elizabeth MacMillan), is gay, and she’s so much fun. Where Phryne is really high-energy and excitable, constantly jumping from idea to idea, Mac is a lot chiller and more smooth, and she’s so suave and so much fun. Miss Fisher is a fun show — alas, a cop show, but it’s a lot more light-hearted, and it does a lot of playful stuff with the period and particularly with costuming details and things like cars, weapons, and various inventions. 

Getting dressed and leaving the boytoy still abed. Via IMDb. 

If you’re open to a miniseries that’s a lot dirtier and nastier than much of the above, have I got the recommendation for you: A Very English Scandal. Starring a relatively innocent and easily manipulated Ben Whishaw across from the deliciously greasy and depraved Hugh Grant, this is a dramatisation of the Thorpe Affair — a political scandal in the UK in the late 1970s — and it’s so fun and so sexy. If whilst watching Our Flag you’ve been giggling and kicking your feet whenever the more fucked up shit goes on in intimate ways, you will almost certainly delight in this one. 

… more of… something. Surprise me!

You might have heard of NBC’s Hannibal, which is a gay take on the dynamic between Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham, but the same creator, Bryan Fuller, also did Pushing Daisies, which is a gorgeous 2-season show that was cancelled long before it ought have been. It explores intimacy at a necessary distance, and has some wonderful queer themes throughout, and stars Lee Pace. 

The new TV adaptation of Anne Rice’s books, Interview with the Vampire, is glorious — it’s openly and unabashedly gay, it’s so full to the brim with depth, and unlike other shows I can mention, it really doesn’t try to shy away from the cruelty of abuses in intimate relationships, or try to shift the blame for abuse entirely onto the back of the victim in a last-minute attempt to foster more sympathy for the abuser. Interview goes so deep into the loneliness and isolation of being separated from society’s mores and expectations, of how that isolation leaves you at much more risk of leverage and abuse by intimate partners, of the brittleness of found family under heavy pressure, and alongside all of that, like… 

It’s a vampire show! It’s sexy! It’s full of blood and horror and misery and grief — the grief of being alive when you should be dead, and at the same time, being halfway dead when you seem to be alive. It’s funny and it’s dark and it’s just full to the brim with poetry, has some honestly gorgeous dialogue, and on top of all that, it’s well-paced, beautifully costumed, and tremendously shot and scored. Watch!

Looking for queer movies, as well as TV shows? I have a big rec list of gay movies here:

#musings #our flag means death #i'm gonna write about how shit the ofmd finale was and what a pisstake it was in the week #but in the meantime here #have this #watch a better fuckin show #Youtube

[roller6262]

Harvey Gives Fashion Advice

< Previous Part | Next Part >

Harvey still had time before his next class, so he headed straight for his dorm. Harry's bed was topped with cardboard boxes, and Harry himself was rummaging through his wardrobe. He would evaluate individual items before deeming they were no good and tossing them behind him. "Dude, I've been gone for a few hours, are you still trying to find something to wear?" Harvey asked his room mate.

"Oh, Honey, I already picked out a casual outfit for the day" Harry replied without taking his eyes off his clothes. "That's what I wore to pick up all those boxes."

"By the way, what is all this stuff?" Harvey sat on Harry's bed and peeked inside the boxes. It was a mix of decorations, papers, and small items that looked like they could be used for games.

"Those are the supplies for tomorrow's Queer Student Union meeting. As secretary it was my job to pick them up from storage."

"So why are you changing again?"

"And repeat an outfit on the same day? Hell no. There's an executive meeting with all the Queer Student Union's leaders tonight, so I need to look my best."

"Sheesh, I'm glad I'm not a member of your gay club" Harvey sighed, "If I spent as much time on clothes as you did, I'd never get out of this dorm."

"Oh shut up" Harry said, tossing a shirt he was looking at onto his bed, "I bet I spend less time on clothes than you do styling that ridiculous pompadour" Harry ran his fingers through his own curly hair, then turned around to face his room mate, finally seeing that Harvey was wearing a patka, "Or at least, how much time you usually spend on it. That thing on your head is new. Is it some kind of fashion statement?"

"Huh?" Harvey placed his hands on top of his head, feeling cloth where he expected to feel gelled hair. "I thought I took this thing of last night. Did I tie it back on this morning?"

"What are you mumbling about?" Harry turned back to his wardrobe, "instead of making fashion statements like that, I wish you were a fashion guru. I could use some advice." Harry grabbed a pink scarf and wrapped it around his neck. He considered it for a moment before tossing it towards the bed like all the rest. This time, it landed on Harvey's head.

The scarf wrapped itself around Harvey's patka, forming a pink UK-style turban. "Wait… this is just like with Gurpreet's table cloth. Was- was that real? It is happening again!?" While Harvey was expressing a great deal of panic, the texture of his face became smoother, and his cheek bones were more pronounced. All of his hair once again darkened to a shade of black. His mustache thickened, covering his upper lip, and his beard grew to his collar in a squared off shape. To maintain this shape it was not cut, but rather well maintained. Harvey winced, expecting to bloat into a fat man like before. Instead, he grew a bit taller and slimmed into a model physique. He got that warm feeling again as his skin turned an Indian hue, a bit darker than Harvey's normal time, but a good amount lighter than previously. His features changed slightly to be more telling of a Punjabi man, but it was unmistakably Harvey's face.

Finally the rest of his clothes were altered. He was wearing a light blue silk button up with grey wool trousers and brown leather shoes. A tricolor, diagonally striped long tie appeared around his collar. A pink scarf, matching his new turban, hung from his neck, and a dark navy suit jacket topped his shoulders. Harvey looked at his arms in disbelief, his wrists were decorated with a gold watch on the left and an iron Kara bracelet on the right. "Am I imagining things again? Why is it so different this time?"

"So Harpinder" Harry started, as if Harvey hadn't said anything just now. He was holding up two shirts, one in each hand, "Which do you think would look better on me tonight?"

"What are you talking about, Harry?" Harvey realized this was just like with Gurpreet. Harvey, or Harpinder as he was now, seemed completely normal to Harry. "You never ask me for advice about clothes."

"I just didn't want to bug you with my day to day stuff" Harry admitted, a bit embarrassed "you're such a famous fashion influencer after all. I'm sure you have more important things to do." Just then Harvey got a notification on his phone, actually he was receiving several. He unlocked it and the phone opened to a photo-sharing social media app. Instead of his usual profile, he was logged into @sikhstyleguru under the name Harpinder Singh. The page looked like it was regularly updated with photos of Harvey as he appeared now, wearing a variety of fashionable suits and street wear. Scrolling down, Harvey figured this page had to have been active for a few years, which should have been impossible because he only transformed a few weeks ago. Was reality changing? Is that why no one thought his sudden changes were odd? Either way, Harvey took this as proof that he wasn't imagining things, he really had become a Sikh man.

He tapped on his most recent photo, the one he was getting notifications for. The like count was already well above three thousand and still ticking up. Comments included phrases like "waheguru" followed by praying hands emoji and "Att" with the fire emoji. "I really am a fashion influencer" Harvey said to himself.

"That's why I'm asking you, you know better than anyone" Harry said. Harvey was confident he'd be able to return to normal, as he had before. For now he decided he would play along with Harry's vision of him, as it would be useless to try and convince Harry that he was someone else. Still, Harvey's idea of a good outfit was a white tee and black jeans, hardly the wisdom that Harry was expecting. He decided he should just answer truthfully. "Honestly, Harry, I don't think either of those shirts would work." Harpinder stroked his hairy chin while thinking, "If you're going to meet with other leaders of your organization, you yourself should look like a leader. I think I can lend you something." He turned to his own wardrobe and saw that it was replaced by a pop-up closet. Due to the dorm's restricted space, it was smaller than any proper closet would be, but it still had enough rack space to hold Harprinder's many suits, with drawers at the bottom for the rest of his clothes. He picked out a deep blue dress shirt, a vibrant yellow dress tie, brown slacks, and matching black leather belt and dress shoes. Harry quickly changed and the items fit surprisingly well on him, despite belonging to someone else.

"This is awesome, I've never had a suit I liked this much" Harry was checking himself out from a few different angles.

"It's all about finding the right fit. Now you look ready for business" Harprinder grinned. Harry threw his arms up and gave Harpinder a big hug. He chuckled and hugged back, "Easy there, try not to wrinkle my shirt too much." Harpinder impressed even himself with his wisdom. Maybe this fashion influencer thing wouldn't be too hard. Once Harry had let go, apologizing for any wrinkles he might have caused, Harpinder turned back to his closet and considered his next move. He thought Harry's outfit could use a little something more to truly stand out. He grabbed two cloths from his closet. "Hold still Harry, I just need to add one last touch." Harpinder first tied the blue cloth around Harry's head into a patka. Harry did as he was told and didn't stop Harpinder, but he was still visibly uncomfortable.

"You know, Harp, these turbans look really good on you. I'm just think this is weird on a white guy like me."

"Nonsense, you just need to see it all together" Harpinder tied the yellow cloth into a morni pagg turban. Then he used a salai needle to smooth out the folds. "See? Isn't that better?"

Harry looked at himself in their dorm's mirror, turning his head to check a few different angles. "I guess so…" Harry saw his face turn a darker shade of brown and became delighted. "Yes! This vibrant yellow does go well with my skin tone. That was a good choice, Harpinder" Harry said in a Punjabi accent.

Harpinder nodded, "Now we must do something about your hair."

"But all of my hair is under my dastaar" then a short chinstrap of curly black hair grew on Harry's previously bare face.

"Obviously I meant your facial hair" Harpinder chuckled, using a wooden comb to remove the tangles in Harry's new beard.

"Ah, that is much better" Harry admired his Punjabi features in the mirror.

"I'm glad I could help" with this task complete, the pink turban on Harpinder's head unspooled and returned to being a simple pink scarf. Harpinder himself reverted to being Harvey, and his pop up closet disappeared, leaving behind Harvey's original wardrobe. The only thing that didn't turn back to normal was the now Sikh Harry. "Woah, who are you!?"

"Harvey you are so sweet. Pretending you don't recognize me because I look so much better in this suit? I'm flattered" Harry winked.

Harvey recognized that jokingly flirty attitude, "Harry, is that you?"

"It's pronounced Harri, you know that. Anyways, thank you for helping me pick out an outfit, I'll have to return the favor some time. But for now, I'm off to meet my felllow Queer Student Union leaders" Harri lifted the boxes from his bed and made his way to the door of the dorm.

"You can't leave, there's something wrong!"

"The only thing wrong here is that a cute guy like you is still only wearing a patka. Before the next Sikh Student Alliance meeting I am going to have to tie the most handsome dastar on you. See ya!" And with that, Harri blew a kiss and left the dorm.

"No, Harry, wait!" But it was too late, Harri was gone. "This is so freaky! First I'm changing, now Harry is too! Did I do that to him?" Harvey took a look at himself in the mirror. "It's got to be because of this patka I got from that Indian club. It's making me look like them!" Harvey tried to yank the black cloth from his head, but it wouldn't budge no matter how he pulled. "It's no use, the thing is tied on like some kind of magic." he sighed. "At least I can take care of you" Harvey said, looking at his short brown beard. Harvey went to his "hair care" drawer. He was pretty obsessed with maintaining a perfect pompadour, so he always kept a drawer stocked with hair scissors, razors, tweezers, an electric shaver, Combs, and his favorite gel. Opening the drawer, he discovered that most of these items were gone! In their place was a wooden comb, a salai needle, some kind of beard oil, and multiple patka cloths. "Where's all my stuff!? I thought I changed back" Harvey slammed the drawer, "I am not giving up that easy, you stupid beard"

Harvey grabbed a pair of office scissors from his study desk and went back to the mirror. They weren't the ideal tool for grooming his beard, but they would have to do. He brought the scissors close to his chin and attempted to cut, but the scissors wouldn't close. "Huh?" Harvey pulled the scissors away from his face and heard the satisfying "snip" of the scissors cutting the air, but as soon as they got close to his face, he couldn't bring himself to close his fingers together. "Are you kidding me? I can't cut my beard either!?"

It had become evidant that whatever magic had transformed Harvey twice today was also preventing him from removing his patka and hair, even in his white form. "I need to find a way to get 100% back to normal, and also prevent future transformations." Harvey thought the best way to do that was to write down everything he knew about his predicament. He grabbed his Religious Studies 372 notebook and started a list on a new page. 1. This all started when those people from the Sikh club tied this patka on my head. 2. I can't take the patka off, except to sleep and shower. Even then, I end up tying it back on without noticing. 3. When fabric touches this patka, I turn into one of those turbanned Indian guys. The table cloth and the scarf had very different results. Maybe the type of cloth matters? 4. When I transform, my personality changes a little bit and my memory gets a bit foggy. I should keep this notebook with me so I don't forget who I really am.

Harvey sighed and closed the notebook. He didn't know much yet, but this was a start. "It goes without saying I need to avoid that Sikh club, even if it does cost me a grade" Harvey checked the time on his phone "can't let my other grades slip though, my break's almost over" Harvey packed his things and marched to his next class, believing that he was temporarily safe from Punjabification.

#male transformation #male tf #race tf #race change #indian tf #sikh tf #hair growth #mental changes #unaware #Harvey to Harpinder

[harveyguilleniconodelamoda]

Harvey on Fashion for Plus Sizes: "Let's Make It Available to All of Us!"

Harvey spoke to Charles Bright of GoldDerby last week on a webchat about What We Do In The Shadows ending, his voice acting career, and his incredible red carpet collaborations with Christian Siriano.

I want to do a full retrospective on this topic eventually, but that's somehow an even bigger undertaking than chronicling all of Guillermo's sweaters, so it may take a while. In the meantime, I've provided a write-up of the fashion portion of the chat below, along with some photos and additional fashion commentary from yours truly!

You can watch the full webchat here.

"Well you've got to remember that being a guy of size, not a lot of people or designers were willing to dress me," Harvey begins, in response to a question about his favorite red carpet look from the past two years. "And it's upsetting. It reminds me of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman going 'I've got money to spend in here!'"

Harvey has spoken before about how prior to 2022, he dressed himself for red carpet events, and sometimes even had to provide his own costumes on set when the costume department didn't have anything that fit him. This is a problem many plus sized entertainers have encountered over the years, even as conversations about body positivity and fat acceptance have become more prominent in public discourse.

Siriano deserves a lot of credit for his track record of breaking barriers in fashion, for getting on board with Harvey's vision, and for bringing some incredible, iconic, history-making looks to life. But Harvey had been slaying on red carpets for years before their collaboration began, often in looks he put together himself without the aid of a designer or stylist. His love of fashion is not new, and his sense of style has always been on point!

Hollywood has been extremely reluctant to be inclusive in this way, with the media often reacting to even one or two high profile plus sized celebrities with concern trolling about whether they're "glorifying obesity" just by existing as successful and talented people in larger bodies in the public eye. But just as with so many other aspects of his career, Harvey has simply carved out doors for himself when none were opening.

"People don't take a risk because they're afraid, right?" Harvey explains. "But you could be the first! I've been fortunate. Talking to Christian Siriano, I was getting ready for the Academy Awards and I had this vision of like...'I really want to do something different, and I know that you don't really dress guys. I want to find a happy medium where it's masculine, and a little feminine, but it's me,' and it just wasn't something that they usually do."

"But we collaborated and we had this idea of like, what if it was the 1920s, but I'm going in a style that's retro, so it's the Gilded Age. So my hair is 1922 but I'm giving a nod to the Gilded Age because that would be vintage back in 1922. And so that's how I got that idea, and then we got the whole tuxedo flare and whatnot."

The now-iconic tuxedo gown Harvey wore to the 2023 Oscars.

"Working with Christian has been great. After that I think Vogue ran it, and it got all this attention, and people were like 'woah! a plus size guy looking good in fashion' and I was like 'yeah, we are out here and there's a lot of us! And I feel like there's just not designers who are designing for us or making it available to us.'"

Harvey's red carpet look for the Oscars, as well as his look for the Vanity Fair after party, appeared on multiple best dressed lists. He was even declared the best dressed person on the Oscars red carpet by MsMojo.

"After that Christian and I became friends," Harvey says. "I hosted the GLAAD awards and he dressed me for that, and I was honored with an award in California and he dressed me for that...and so we've been collaborating on different outfits."

Harvey and Christian Siriano have now collaborated on ten different outfits for half a dozen events since the start of 2023, including most recently the 2024 Critic's Choice Awards in January (where he once again made it only best dressed lists, such as this one from TVInsider) and the Garfield movie premiere in May.

"The Met Gala last year was, I think, the cherry on top, because it was a kind of nod to Chanel with a tweed in pink. But [the gala] was also honoring Karl Lagerfeld, and to be in my body, and being a POC, and wearing pink--so still honoring but not forgetting, and also representing myself--was a nice collaboration, and I think that gown was really beautiful and I loved it."

Harvey's Met Gala ensemble was easily one of the most impressive of the night, managing to be both flawlessly on theme while also being a creative interpretation that critiqued the subject of the theme.

Harvey finishes up his thoughts on his red carpet style by saying he wants to continue working with Siriano, as well as other designers who are willing to take a chance with him.

"The payoff is, you know, like you said: people look to people in film and television to be inspired, and be like 'why can't I? I can wear that! Where can I get that?' You know? And it's like you should be able to get that. Let's make it available to all of us."

Sounds great to me, Harvey! And it's true.

On a personal note, Harvey's incredible style and confidence has definitely been an inspiration. He's spoken a few times about how he's had people tell him how watching him has given them more confidence in themselves, and I count myself among that number. I am so excited to see what the rest of 2024 holds for him, on and off the red carpet!

#harvey guillén #fashion #plus size fashion #menswear #red carpet looks #christian siriano #interviews #goldderby

[somecallmejohn]

Any Stardew hot takes?

Well… since you asked.

I find Harvey too boring to care about tbh

I think Kent and Jodi should be romanceable or at least have an event where they find the spark they lost when Kent left for the war cuz I doubt this is a happy marriage and I think both deserve better

When you sit down and analyze all of the bachelors you realize that all of them are imperfect in their own way Alex starts out as a jerk and a bit too full of himself, Sebastian is rather antisocial, Sam is a manchild that can’t even hold an egg correctly, Shane also starts out as a jerk and has his alcoholism and declining mental health to deal with etc. so looking down or judging anyone for their bachelor of choice because they’re not a perfect person (most commonly Shane) is just stupid imo, just let people enjoy the spouse they’ve chosen, it’s just a game after all.

Speaking of Shane, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again the whole “Shane doesn’t need a lover he needs a friend” feels so infantilizing and degrading, cuz it just implies that because of the issues Shane goes through in his events that he should just be content with things the way they are and focus on not drinking. If you don’t want to romance Shane that’s fine go teach your spouse how to hold an egg, but stop saying that exact same thing again and again (can y’all tell I’m not a huge fan of SDV TikTokers/YouTubers?)

Sticking to Shane since he’s my fave, Shane is short and chubby/fat. You may think that this is not much of a hot take since his sprite is the shortest of the bachelors and it’s implied multiple times in his dialogues that he’s out of shape, but the last few days I’ve seen too much art of him with as little fat on him as possible or straight up looking like a purple haired Derek Hale

I’d like if the game had a little more story

That’s all I can think of for now.

#Stardew Valley #John answers #John rambles

[derwahnsinn]

31 Days Idol Challenge - Oliver Riedel

Day 29: At Award Ceremony

One thing I really like about photos of Rammstein from award ceremonies, is how they dress. I love how they just seem to all put on whatever they feel like, so that the more or less always have at least one 'odd man out'.

My photo of choice is this group shot from 1998 Echo Awards, because I really like how Oliver went with a choker. Photo by Axel Kirschof.

I feel like it's appropriate to add a passage from Flake's book Heute hat die Welt Geburtstag (It's the World's Birthday Today), where he wrote about when the band got nominated for their first Echo Award. It is such a good example of "six inexperienced East Germans entering the celebrity circus":

Beforehand we had long conversations about what we should wear. We definitely wanted to all wear the same thing so that people would see we were a single entity. Since this was the first time we'd been invited, we got there on time. On time meant two hours too early. When we walked down the red carpet, there was of course not the slightest reaction from the audience, which wasn't bad, however. The only person who recognized us was the security guard for Die Toten Hosen, who were also nominated and of course actually received an award. We attached ourselves to Nena's manager, whom we knew from the industry tour. We stood around in the lobby with him for hours and were horribly thirsty. Then the ceremony finally started and we thought it was all very exciting. Otto Waalkes was sitting in front of us. I stared at the back of his head the whole time. I thought back to how, when I was a kid, I would go over to our neighbor's place just to watch the Otto Show. Every single gag got rehashed all over school the next day, and I didn't want to be left out. And now I could practically touch him. I was so excited my palms were sweating. All the nominees were introduced with a short film. When they finally showed our film, there was absolutely no applause since of course no one knew who we were. There was only bored silence. I think Aerosmith got the prize. We realized that we'd gotten all dressed up for nothing and felt appropriately foolish. Thankfully though, there was a giant afterparty. We hadn't known about that either. There we could eat and drink as much as we wanted and didn't have to pay. We weren't the only ones who got exorbitantly drunk; those who were still there at four stayed till six. Moses Pelham broke Stefan Raab's nose. The next day, a bunch of zombies stood freezing on the train platform, waiting for the train with their Echos in their hands. Or not, in our case. Then two years later, we got the award. We stood there on stage like six bumps on a log and didn't know what to say. Under no circumstances did we want to toss out an embarrassing litany of thank yous. When it was my turn at the mic, I just talked about my vacation in Sri Lanka - I'd just gotten back two days earlier and was still overflowing with impressions. Plus, while the boring ceremony was going on, Ben Becker had been teaching us that drinking vodka mixed with tonic water was very refreshing. The trophy they handed us was I guess supposed to represent a sound wave - I mean, I don't know what an echo looks like, technically speaking - and it was pretty heavy. It was an unwieldy thing to have to hold onto at the party afterward, so I just left it sitting around somewhere.

Bonus material: 1) 1997, Rammstein getting gold for Herzeleid and Engel. Unknown photographer. Some of the band members, including Oliver, had interesting choices of shoes. 2) 1998 MTV Europe Music Awards. Another interesting choice of clothing for Oliver. 3) 2001 MTV Europe Music Awards. Can't go wrong when you're all wearing stage costumes! Photo by Anthony Harvey. 4) 2001 Mexico City. Very questionable positioning of Paul in this photo by Guillermo Ogam. 5) 2005 Echo Awards. I really love how they showed up and performed in fat suits. Photo by Sean Gallup. 6) 2005 Rammstein Music Awards, I love Oliver's outfit here, too. Unknown photographer. 7) 2009 Echo Awards. Oliver went fully casual, and Schneider showed his total lack of taste in shoes. Unknown photographer.

--

Others doing this challenge:

Till: @endlich-allein Flake: @anwiel13 Paul: @instillennachten

#Rammstein 31 Days Idol Challenge #Oliver Riedel #Rammstein #Oliver at Award Ceremony #Rammstein 31 Days Idol Challenge - Oliver

[do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas]

I rambled to the shadows groupchat about this, but I decided to try to make a post about the Harvey nandermo con thing.

Leaving this under a readmore just cause, but also wanting to get it out of the way now that I'm basically gonna conflict myself by having two separate opinions:

Here is a video link for his answer!

But yeah, I wanted to focus on him thinking Guillermo as ace. Because as an ace person, that would be amazing!!! Having a major character that is a gay ace badass would be awesome, especially cause of the show being its horny self lmao

But... I don't know. Ace rep is always nifty to me, as an ace person who desperately wants more diverse ace rep, but I was actually hoping for Guillermo to be a horny gay (and sexy nandermo). Not only cause it's hot, but having a fat character be gay and sexually desirable and show sexual interest is cool!

Now this isn't canon-canon - unless we have Guillermo saying it on the show, then it's just hypothetical. And who knows, maybe if it does become canon he'll drop where he is on the ace spectrum!

But this isn't even the main part I wanted to bring up -

Because one thing that made me ick was how Harvey repeated the same things the showrunner has, with nandermo being "more than romance", cause now you're feeding into both the "why not let diverse gay men be sexual" discourse and the aphobes who (if it actually gets canonically said by Guillermo he's ace) will be soooo fucking annoying about how this "ruins" nandermo

I don't know if I see a solution that marries these two points. But that's what I wanted to say, before this blew up and got into the mix of other opinions

#wwdits #wwdits fx #nandermo #guillermo de la cruz #let.me.dream.with.wwditsfx #asexual #asexuality #lgbtq

[dovesndecay]

i don't think I'm ever going to be able to fully explain to anyone just how important Harvey Guillen is to me as a fat queer Latine.

The fact that I look at him and I SEE myself in a way I have never seen myself in the media? Indescribably priceless.

Guillermo as a character is important to me, yes, and he only becomes more so as the show proceeds. But Harvey's existence as a real fat queer Latino cannot be held up enough to satisfy me.

I stare at pictures of him where he is allowed to be masculine and hot, feminine and hot, FAT AND HOT, BROWN AND HOT, QUEER AND HOT, i cannot ever begin to describe how important that is to me, and my journey, and the way that I am now able to view myself

#original post #harvey guillen

[snax-writes]

Hi, I saw that you're currently looking for requests and I have two Harvey x reader requests (hope it's okay that I have two requests:) ) I would really appreciate if you did both or just one of them since I've read your Harvey x reader fics and really liked them.

The first one is a pregnancy fic, I don't have any specific asks here, but maybe something like the reader telling Harvey that she's pregnant or them going to a sonogram together.

My second request is related to eating disorders, more specifically anorexia recovery. If writing this would be triggering for you or just uncomfortable, please don't write it. If you chose to, it would be rather nice for me personally, because I'm actually currently recovering (best decision I ever made:)). Now to the actual request: Something like Harvey teaching the reader to be comfortable in her body and to accept it, him maybe talking about body image issues he might have (although he's a very confident man, I believe he also has struggled with an issue related to this), maybe also some body worship. It would be very nice if they discussed the positive changes that recovering brings and if he encouraged the reader regarding things such as thighs that touch, stretch marks and the fat most women have on their lower belly. In a nutshell, just him telling the reader how beautiful and hot she is and how he thinks that she's a literal goddess.

Both of these requests are basically all about Harvey being the amazing boyfriend/husband we all know he is :)

(One last note: Some of your fics include it, some don't really, but I would prefer if there was no y/n in the fanfic. However, in the end it's up to you and I'm so glad to be able to read your stuff no matter what)

hey, thank you so much for your requests. i finally finished them!

request one: his princess - h. specter

request two: a goddess's body - h. specter

i hope you like them <3

#harvey specter x reader #harvey specter #suits tv #snax writes

[yearnforag0ny]

The MD and DVM; Chapter 1

Author’s note: hii omg this is the first fanfiction I’ve written in about five years now loool…I wrote this because I’ve never seen a harvey fic where the farmer is a veterinarian, and I have seen many questionable things said about farming. I work on a farm, and I am working towards going to veterinary school, so I felt my knowledge might contribute to a unique Harvey fic lol correct me if I’m wrong, tho, and please let me know if I should continue this! Crossposted on ao3 under xxdeaduniverse.

spring 1

You had always loved your grandfather’s property. His death almost broke you. However, you were delighted to find that he had left you his farm, Cinnamon Meadow. It was a quiet slice of heaven nestled away in Pelican Town. It still had all its old charm, just some added overgrowth and a lack of crops and animals. 

You graduated from veterinary school a couple of years ago. Visiting your grandfather’s farm ignited your love for animals, and it only grew the older you became. After eight years, you earned a bachelor’s degree in animal science and were officially a doctor in veterinary medicine. 

Since your veterinary school was near Zuzu City, you picked up a job offer at a clinic in the heart of the city and worked almost exclusively with dogs and cats. It was incredibly fun; however, you had forgotten your initial dream of working with farm animals instead of small ones. So when your grandfather died, you were happy to see he left you the farm in his will. While living in Zuzu City, you would visit Pelican Town every so often to say hello to your grandfather, but more so because Marnie was a client of yours. She called you whenever her animals were having the slightest of health issues. You were happy to answer her calls because it meant you would see cows, catch up with Marnie, and say hello to your grandfather. 

You sighed while you stood on the porch of your grandfather’s old house, which was technically yours now. It was a beautiful spring day. You didn’t realize how much you had missed the sounds of birds chirping. 

Marnie interrupted your peace by slamming the front door on her way out of the house. 

“Whoops! Didn’t mean to let that door slam,” She chuckled. You smiled at her. You were so grateful she agreed to help you move your stuff today. 

“Well, that was the last box,” She sighed in relief. “I’ve gotta run. Shane has to work a shift at JojaMart, and I need to watch Jas. You should stop by Robin’s house today so she can start building you a coop!” Marnie exclaimed, smiling at you.

 “Yeah, I probably will. I want to get this place up and running as soon as possible,” You said, looking out onto the land again.

“I’ll be at the saloon Friday night. You should stop by and introduce yourself to everyone then,” suggested Marnie. 

“That’s a good idea, actually. Gives me enough time to do some work and mentally prepare to meet all the new people,” You chuckled. Marnie rolled her eyes. 

“They’ll love you. Just come by whenever you’re ready, okay?” She winked at you before walking off towards her farm.

You waved goodbye and groaned once you realized you would have to clear some overgrowth to build a chicken coop. You cracked your knuckles, grabbed your axe from the porch, and got to work.

A couple of hours of hard work later, you had a small clearing of land by the farmhouse. You decided that would be enough hard work for today, you weren’t sure when Robin would close up, and you haven’t unpacked anything in your house at all. You set the axe back on your porch and made yourself look somewhat presentable. You noticed your cat, Horace, had already taken a liking to the new digs. He had plopped himself on top of a pile of boxes. Horace was a fat, tuxedo tabby cat and essentially your best friend since you had adopted him your junior year of college. You gave him a pat on the head before heading out to Robin’s.

You admired the peace on your walk to the mountains. At some point, the hours must have melted away because three o’clock. You finally noticed how tired you were from moving in and doing physical work on the land. However, your dreams of dozing away were cut short. The walk to Robin’s was not as long as you had anticipated, though, as her house suddenly appeared hidden behind pine trees. You took a moment to admire her house, assuming she had built it herself. Wooden with a blue roof. You liked it. Once you spotted the telescope on the left, you immediately wondered how beautiful the skies must be here. You hadn’t seen a sky free of light pollution in years.

You cautiously opened the front door to see a counter with a ginger woman standing on the other side reading a newspaper. She looked up when the door opened, smiling at you. 

“You must be Y/N! I’m so glad to meet you finally. I heard someone was moving into Cinnamon Meadow, but I didn’t know so soon. I’m Robin,” She said, coming out behind the counter to shake your hand. You shook it, happy to realize she wasn’t startled by some stranger entering her home. You smiled at her.

 “Hi. Marnie said to come see you if I wanted anything built, so here I am,” You chuckled. Robin looked delighted. 

“Well, sure! What were you wanting to have built?” She eagerly questioned. It was easy to see she was excited; not many villagers in Pelican Town needed new construction. 

“I’m going to get Cinnamon Meadow up and running again, so I’ll need a new chicken coop. And then a barn. And probably house renovations. I need a lot done,” You sheepishly rubbed your neck, wondering if this was too much to request all at once. Robin defied you and lit up even more. 

“Great! I can get started on the chicken coop tomorrow!” She exclaimed. 

“Deal.”

~

After paperwork and settling payments, you returned to Cinnamon Meadow to continue yardwork. You felt so relieved that the coop wasn’t too expensive to build. You had been saving up since you paid off your tuition, and you were finally happy to invest some of the funds into your future. Around six o’clock, your exhaustion won over your ambition, and you decided to settle down for the night. You unpacked enough kitchen supplies to scrounge up some frozen dinner, took a hot shower, and promptly fell asleep with Horace in your small bed around eight.

You slept better than you had in ages. You even had a dream where your farm was complete, cows and all. But you knew something was missing. Or rather, a special someone. What was the farm if you had no one to share it with? You thought to yourself within your dream. You had always told yourself you didn’t need to be with someone, that as long as you made yourself happy, it was all that mattered. But you still ached for it. Your dream was cut short by a particular fat cat lightly smacking your cheek. 

“What the–Horace!” You exclaimed.

 “I was sleeping so well…” You sighed. You checked the time on your phone. 6 AM? Might as well get up now and get some yardwork done I guess… You thought to yourself with an elongated yawn. You realized you were a little sore from all the work yesterday. You groaned, knowing there would be more to come today. Slowly, you pulled yourself out of bed and organized some food for Horace. As expected, he flew to his breakfast and you figured you should do the same for yourself. A cup of coffee and one granola bar later, you pulled on your favorite pair of overalls and stretched. Today was going to be long. You intended to clear more of the land and buy and plant seeds.

You headed outside to start working and saw Robin hammering away at the coop. Her enthusiasm for her work made you smile. 

“Morning, Robin! Any coffee for you?” You greeted. 

“NO THANKS!” She yelled back with a smile. You wondered why she was screaming before noticing she was wearing headphones. You chuckled, grabbed your axe, and went straight to work.

Around one, you figured you should take a break to go to the store. You briefly recall Marnie mentioning a place called Pierre’s. After trading your axe for your wallet, you started heading in the general direction of town. It was another beautiful day. Are all the days here going to be as lovely as they have been? You wondered, smiling to yourself. You noticed that the change of scenery from moving here had already positively affected you.

You walked into town and focused on the square before you. It's small but adorable. Lamposts and trees lined the square, along with a few buildings. The one before you was the doctor’s clinic, with Pierre’s store on the other side. You briefly wondered about the town doctor for a moment. You knew you should get yourself checked up sooner rather than later. After doing farm research in your undergrad, you unfortunately found out the hard way that farm work was no joke. You filed away this thought for later and walked into Pierre’s.

The general store was small but had everything you could ever need. The older gentleman with glasses behind the single register smiled at you.

 “You must be the new farmer! Y/N right? I’m Pierre. It’s so nice to have somebody new in town!” He exclaimed. You wondered when the last time somebody new moved into Pelican Town. 

“Yeah, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you,” You smiled back. 

“I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather. He was a great man. Sold me the best crops,” Pierre sighed. You felt a tinge of grief bite at you, pushing it away immediately. 

“He was a good man. I fully intend to restore the farm, though, so I’ll have some crops for you,” You chuckled. Remembering what you came here for, you grabbed a bunch of random seed packets and essentials for your kitchen. You accidentally bumped into a woman with bright green hair in one of the aisles. You quickly learned she was Pierre’s wife, Caroline. 

“You should come to the aerobics class here on Tuesdays! Great way to get to know everyone,” She smiled. The thought of any more exercise than you already had to do on the farm made you cringe. 

“Maybe,” you tentatively said before mentioning it was good to meet her and heading to checkout. You went right home afterward, excited to plant your new seeds. You may have been a little ambitious when you started tilling the dirt; the field you created was large. You also knew if you wanted to make money anytime soon, it would be from crops.

It took forever to till, plant, and water the field. By the time it was 6, you were wiping sweat off your brow and decided that was all you could take today. You headed into your house to make a proper dinner from the groceries you picked up at Pierre’s today: homemade pizza. You savored every bite—your first meal in your first owned house. The thought made you smile. After a shower, you watched TV, cuddling Horace before finally falling asleep for the night.

The following two days seemed to blur together. At some point, you went to Marnie’s to catch up and buy chickens after Robin was done with the coop. You were overjoyed to finally have animals back on the farm and made a mental note to return to Robin’s on Monday to have her start building a barn. However, today was Friday. The day you were going to the saloon. You thought about it–stressed about it–while doing your farm chores that morning. Was everyone going to like you? Would they insist on kicking you out of Pelican Town? Or would you drink enough to forget these irrational thoughts and let go? You decided on the latter. 

By the time five o’clock rolled around, you had showered and started getting ready for your first night out on the town. You threw on your favorite pair of jeans and a sweater with some jewelry. After a little makeup and tweaking your hair, you decided you were ready.

Walking out the door, you felt a cold spring breeze on your back. You were immediately grateful you picked a sweater. As you walked towards the saloon, you looked up at the sky. The sun had just begun to set. It was your favorite time of day. A part of you felt like having drinks on your porch alone instead of being crowded by strangers in a bar, but you knew better than to be a hermit tonight. You had told Marnie you would be there, so you would. 

You could hear faint music and laughter inside as you approached the saloon. A warm glow of light emitted from the windows. You took a deep breath and walked in. The villagers were having so much fun not many even noticed you came in except Marnie. She sat in the center of the bar, smiling and waving at you. A wave of relief washed over you. You smiled and sat down 

next to her.

“I’m so glad you came! I’ll have to introduce you to everyone,” She said, handing you a glass of wine—even more relief. You gulped to soothe your nerves. One by one, Marnie introduced you to some people in the town. You knew you would struggle to remember some of their names after tonight. You met Emily, tending the bar, along with Gus. Leah, an artist who had also moved to the valley from the city. Pam, who seemed like the local drunk. Willy, a sweet fisherman. Marnie pointed out other people; you determined Demetrius was married to Robin because they were dancing together. Some younger kids in the other room were Sebastian, Sam, and Abigail. A young woman with glasses suddenly sat herself next to you.

 “Marnie, is this the new farmer we’ve all been hearing about?” She questioned, smiling at you. 

“Yup! Y/N, meet Maru,” Marnie motioned to her. 

“Hi,” you shyly said with a smile.

 “Y/N is a veterinarian,” Marnie blurted out. You nodded. 

“Good to have another scientist in town,” Maru giggled. “Dr. Y/N, then?” She asked. You laughed. 

“Oh, no, please don’t call me doctor…except when I’m looking at your animals,” You winked, and they laughed. Maru looked in the other direction of the bar, and you saw something go off in her brain.

“I should introduce you to the only other doctor in town,” Maru giggled. 

“Oh, sure, I’ve meant to meet them, actually,” You nodded. Maru took your hand and led you to a table near the jukebox. At the table sat two men having wine. One had long hair and wore a reddish coat, the other with glasses and a mustache wearing a green coat. Before you had time to think further, Maru set her hands down on the table. 

“Gentlemen, this is Y/N. She just moved into Cinnamon Meadow. Harvey, she is also a doctor,” Maru said with a smirk. You briefly wondered which one she was talking to before the man in the glasses smiled. 

“Is that right? I’m the town’s doctor, Harvey,” He introduced himself. You were taking him in. Handsome. Really handsome. It didn’t help you had a thing for mustaches, but he was also smart, evidently. 

“I’m a veterinarian. I planned on getting my MD for a while but decided I liked animals more than people,” This raised a laugh out of them all. 

“Good to meet you, doctor Y/N,” Harvey said, sipping his wine. The man with the long hair introduced himself as Elliott. You immediately let his name slip your mind because you were considering how you would further get to know Harvey. Marnie interrupted your thoughts by calling for you from the bar. 

“Y/N! Come here, you gotta tell me what breed of cows you want to invest in!!” You blushed. 

“I suppose I’ll see you later,” You said, mainly to Harvey. You could feel the alcohol working its way into your system, so it was probably best you get away from him now before you were completely drunk. Harvey looked a little disappointed. 

“Be sure to come see me some time to get checked up,” He quickly mentioned. You nodded, smiling; maybe you weren’t just delusional, and he thought the same about you. You walked back to Marnie, but every fiber of your being wanted to stay and have another drink with him.

#stardew valley #sdv harvey #sdv harvey x reader #stardew harvey #harvey x reader #harvey x farmer #sdv farmer

[weird-al-song-tourney]

EVERY CONFIRMED SONG SO FAR!....Again.

Just updating you guys on what all the songs confirmed so far are!

2 days left so submit more!! This tourney is BIG AS HECK DUDE.

Airline Amy

Albuquerque

Amish Paradise

Angry White Boy Polka

Canadian Idiot

Captain Underpants Theme Song

Christmas At Ground Zero

Close But No Cigar

Constipated

Dare to Be Stupid

Dog Eat Dog

Don't Download This Song

Don't Wear Those Shoes

Eat It

eBAY

Everything You Know Is Wrong

Fat

First World Problems

Foil

Free Delivery

Good Enough for Now

Handy

Hardware Store

Harvey the Wonder Hamster

Hey, Hey, We're the Monks (From "Galavant")

Hooked on Polkas

I Lost On Jeopardy

I Love Rocky Road

I Think I'm a Clone Now

I Want A New Duck

I'll Sue Ya

I'm so Sick of You

It’s All About the Pentiums

It’s My World (And We’re All Living In It)

Lame Claim To Fame

Like A Surgeon

Livin' in the Fridge

Midnight Star

Money For Nothing / Beverly Hillbillies

My Bologna

NOW That's What I Call Polka!

Now You Know

Ode to a Superhero

One More Minute

Party in the CIA

Perform This Way

Polka Face

Polka Party!

Polkarama!

Rootin' For The Enemy

Since You've Been Gone

Sir Isaac Newton vs Bill Nye

Skipper Dan

Slime Creatures from Outer Space

Smells Like Nirvana

Super Duper Party Pony

Tacky

The Alternative Polka

The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota

The Hamilton Polka

The Hot Rocks Polka

The Night Santa Went Crazy

The Rye or the Kaiser (Theme From Rocky XIII)

The Saga Begins

The Weird Al Show Intro

This Is the Life

Trapped in the Drive-Thru

UHF

Virus Alert

Weasel Stomping Day

White & Nerdy

Why Does This Always Happen To Me?

Word Crimes

Yoda

You Don't Love Me Anymore

You Make Me

Your Horoscope for Today

Submissions close this friday, May 5th!!

#mod toasty #weird al tournament #weird al #weird al yankovic

[uglybuglyexe]

I have had the majority of people who I have told what I aspire to be in my transition journey laugh at my answers (mostly cis friends, family, and cis gay men, but that’s who i have in my circle rn). Like they expect it to be some really skinny/athletic, very traditionally masculine, and “traditionally” handsome man. Like if you knew me at all, I’m very comfortable being my current weight aka fat (although I have lost some weight due to my fast paced job/lack of stable income for food so I’m not sure if I’m more of a mid size now). I’m more comfortable in “fem” clothing (like bright colors, fun cuts, accessories, etc). And generally not caring about what is seen as socially acceptable for a man. Like there are three men who I adore and want their gender: Jack Black, Harvey Guillen, and a fashion designer that goes by the @ poshheat on Instagram and TikTok.

LIKE LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIFUL MEN AND TELL ME WHATS SO FUNNY ABOUT THEM?!?!

#jack black #harvey guillen #harvey guillén (guillermo) #mtf trans #trans #transgender #gender #fashion #transition #transition goals

[sunspray-peak]

Ch. 39: Dark Days Coming

TUESDAY - FALL 23 

While Achilles did in fact spend most of both Monday evening making a pros and cons list, his neatly penned planner indicated preexisting plans for Tuesday. And so shortly after noon, he exchanged his pen for a scarf and beanie (the air was cooler and the skies darker than usual lately)  and left the farmhouse to grab a late outdoor brunch with Elliott. 

The man had spent the weekend locked in his beachside shack, furiously typing up his manuscript for maximum legibility. While the two waited for Emily to refill their glasses, Elliott solemnly bestowed with both hands and a short bow a spiral-bound stack of 300 some 8.5x11s. 

“Very nice.” Achilles tapped the brass buttons decorating the dark brown leather Elliott had used to cover the manuscript. “It might take me a week or so.” 

“Oh my dear friend, I beg you, take your time! Please be assured, you are already doing me too great a kindness, I shall be forever in your—” 

But a loud commotion interrupted his thanks. A rush of raised voices, wailing cries coming seemingly from the town square. And was that a siren? Only one honking blare that was quick to cut off and give way to more indiscernible shouts. 

With zero hesitation, the two bolted from their sandwiches and raced north.

A small crowd surrounded Harvey’s clinic. An ambulance. 

“Make way, make way!” Dr. Harvey bellowed, pushing through the masses as two uniformed strangers carried what seemed to be a stretcher into the hospital. 

“Oh dear me! Oh dear, dear, dear—what in the world do you think is going on, I do hope everyone is all right—”

Achilles craned his neck—there, right before the doors closed shut. A bright shock of purple hair. 

Abigail! 

The mines. Something must have gone wrong—that last sight of her violet ponytail disappearing behind closed doors sent a shockwave reverberating through his body, through his mind. Without thinking, he broke free from Elliott’s trembling grip and raced towards the hospital. But Maru was quick to bar him from entering.  

“Family only right now, Achilles,” she said firmly, squeezing his hands. “But we’ll share any updates.” With that, she rushed back inside to assist the doctor. 

Elliott was in hysterics now that the victim (“So young! So full of life!”) was disclosed, tears absolutely rolling down his face in fat drops as the gravity of the situation further revealed itself. But outside of his sobs, a hushed silence had overtaken the small crowd. Sebastian and Sam stood huddled together right by the hospital doors, the former even paler than usual. 

There was a strange, uneven thump. All heads turned immediately to the ambulance, from which Marlon was struggling to climb down.  

Exactly who he needed. 

Achilles hastened to give the man a hand. “What happened?” 

“What do you think happened, son? It’s the week of Spirit’s Eve.” Marlon half-stumbled into Achilles’ arms. “Something went wrong. Oh, Gil and I must’ve found her just in time—”

“She should never have been alone!” 

Soft gasps and murmured cries thrummed through the townsfolk—Rasmodius had swept in, black robes billowing in a cloud of lavender smoke behind him.

“It’s a miracle she even made it back at all. Did you learn nothing? Don’t you remember what happened the last time someone tried to go at it alone—”

“Real interestin’ to hear those words comin’ from you, Rasmodius,” Marlon spat, hands clenched in tight, white-knuckled fists. 

“I’ve learned from my mistakes,” Rasmodius roared, and the plumes of smoke began to thicken. “It is a far greater shame that you have not. Sending this ignorant girl down to her doom—” 

“The spirits have given us no other choice, it’s become clear we’re running out of time. The community center has almost fallen—if you had only joined us—”

“Joined you? On this suicide mission? I warned you this was not the way—”

But despite Achilles’ overwhelming curiosity, it seemed wiser to leave the square. He was not eager to fall victim to another enchantment. Bright yellow sparks were beginning to appear from Rasmodius’ fists, and even Marlon had seemed to grow in height, his remaining hand clutching the hilt of the greatsword that hung from his belt. 

The rest of the crowd seemed to be of the same mind. Folks were quickly dispersing, making their way down to the saloon to discuss in low, but carrying, tones. 

“That Abigail. Always up to mischief—”

“Oh, but can you really call it mischief? It sounds like somethin’ more serious to me, somethin’ spooky—” 

“Did you know she was in the mines?”

“Oh dear me, Pierre and Caroline, I can’t imagine how they must be feeling… perhaps we ought to prepare them a dinner—”

“How were they not aware their own daughter was running wild in the mines—” 

“What’s even happening down there—” 

“Are we in danger?” 

*****

Marlon was waiting for Achilles on his porch. He wasn’t surprised. 

“Dark days comin’. Didn’t know when you’d get back,” he grunted, standing from the chair. “Blasted wizard. Figured it’d be best not to discuss these matters in public… never know who might be listening…”

The two turned to the sky, which was indeed rapidly darkening, though it was scarcely 6 o’clock. The wind had picked up as well—howling as it twisted through bare branches.

“Come inside.” Achilles swiftly unlocked the door and gestured for Marlon to enter first. “Please, take any seat. Let me get you something to drink…” 

“You have a cat?” Marlon eased himself into a plush armchair below the painting of two root vegetables. Voltaire had trotted up to him and given a mew of approval before leaping into his lap. 

“Not a particularly cat-like cat, but I suppose he is still a cat. Here.” Achilles handed Marlon some water. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything stronger, but I can make tea if you’d like.”   

“Oh yes, that would be real lovely, thank you… interesting, you know, cats often have a unique connection to spirits…” 

Achilles scurried back over to the kitchen where he put the kettle on. “So.” He swallowed, leaning his head against his kitchen cabinets. “What happened?” 

“Abigail reached the 105th floor today. But what happened down there… can’t say I know. Girl was out cold by the time Gil and I got ahold of her. She must’ve made it to the elevator just in time…” 

Achilles peered into the living room from the kitchen. Marlon had paused to shake his head. The man looked old. Weary. Achilles watched as he leaned far forward, slouching onto his elbows and burying his head into his hand as his fingers twitchingly thumbed the jagged hair across his eyepatch.

The kettle started to whistle, and Achilles retreated back to the stove. 

“It’s the farthest anyone’s ever gone,” came Marlon’s voice as he Achilles searched for tea leaves. “And if we don’t get to the bottom by Spirit’s Eve… well. All her progress will be for naught.

“We’re cuttin’ things close, Achilles. The community center… you’ve stopped by recently?” 

“I… can’t say that I have,” Achilles said from the kitchen. Only when the words left his mouth did he realize that, despite at least paying the center a visit at least once a week in the previous seasons, he hadn’t stopped by at all since his brunch date with Haley. 

“No good. No good at all… I thought we’d have at least another year, but now… I don’t know, son. Don’t know if it can take another year, and if the keystone there falls before we destroy the Portal… the Wall could fall. Stardew Valley will be overrun, then it’ll be Zuzu, it’ll grow and grow… We’re all in danger. And we’re out of time.” 

Marlon trailed off just as Achilles returned to the living room, tray in hand. Two steaming cups of earl grey wafted from the blue agate squeezed tightly between the pads of his numb fingers. How warm and cheery the scene would seem to anyone observing his home. Two friends just bunkering down with tea amidst soft candlelight to escape the ghostly wails sailing along the wind outside. 

Achilles handed a cup to Marlon, and in the iridescent glint of the mug’s rim, he remembered something. 

Without excusing himself, he raced to his bedroom, shoved his fingers into the pockets of his windbreaker and jackets and coats until he found it—yes. How did he forget, how could have been so stupid, so selfish, caught up with his own things— 

The rainbow stone Corvus had given him. 

“Fucking hell—the shadow brute at Sunspray Peak gave me this. He said it was the only way to the destroy the Portal, I don’t know how, but… I should’ve given it to you earlier, I should’ve given it to Abigail, this was all my fault—”

Marlon gave a start as Achilles shoved the stone into his hands. 

“Where did you say you got this, son?” 

“From Corvus. The shadow spirit that I spoke to—”

“Do you know what this is?” 

“N—no. I just know it’s… important.” 

Marlon held the stone closely to his eye, turned it between his fingers. “This is a prismatic shard, son. It is very, very rare, in fact, I don’t believe these have been seen in our Physical Plane since the end of the Spirit Wars.” 

“Corvus said that he smuggled it in from the Spirit Plane.”

“That would explain it… prismatic shards are said to be made of the purest essence of Elemental magic. The most powerful magic of all. Yes…” Marlon nodded slowly before handing the stone back to Achilles, and in the second their fingers brushed, in that brief touch, Achilles understood why Marlon had come. The real mystery was why it had taken all evening for him to realize. 

“You need me to help.”

It was a statement, not a question. One that sprung readily to his lips—not eagerly, but matter of fact. It was simply the truth. A truth that Achilles had been incapable of seeing, but that now, under the glare of the afternoon’s accident, was clear as day.   

And in saying it, he knew, finally, the truth behind this truth that he had spent the whole season struggling to see.

No. He did not want to go down. He did not want to go down into the mines at all. 

Marlon took a trembling sip from his tea. 

“Yes.” 

He set the cup down and gestured for Achilles to take a seat in the neighboring chair. 

“Dr. Harvey believes Abigail will make a swift recovery—a remarkably swift recovery. Strange, really… girl seems to be made of much tougher stuff than one would think, especially with that louse of a man for a father—son, I’ve seen Pierre shriek at them butterflies…” He shook his head in disbelief before continuing. “She says she’s ready to go down as soon as possible.” 

Here, Marlon turned to better face Achilles and looked him squarely with his one good eye. “Son, I told you once that I’d never ask someone to risk their own life. My position on this item has not changed. But if yours has… if you are willing to go down with Abigail, to help her finish the job…” 

A severe wave of nausea suddenly swept over Achilles. Was it guilt? Was it stress? Or was it something else entirely?

“I should’ve gone down with her from the beginning.”  

But Marlon shook his head, taking his hand. “No use cryin’ over spilled milk. I should’ve known. I should’ve realized. It was going too good to be true…” 

So here it was. Despite all of Alex’s words, Rasmodius’ warnings, even his own numerous pros and cons lists—he was going into the mines. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to, but he had no choice. And that was that. 

Is this finally a good enough reason, Alex? Achilles’ hand had finally been forced. It’s not for glory… 

Perhaps the idea hadn’t yet fully set in, but the thought of descending once more down that old, rusty elevator brought him only a steadfast sense of calm. It was all so clear now, like a fog faded from his mind—he had tried so hard to pivot from the path that had prophetically been laid out for him the moment he had arrived in Stardew Valley. And for the past few weeks, he had managed to reroute his life—reframe his mind, even—quite successfully. 

But, like so many others things he had come to encounter during his time in the Valley, this success had always been temporary. He would always have had to go down into the mines. Sooner or later, it was always going to come to this. 

Destiny, an enigmatic little shadow brute had once called it. This had always been an inescapable part of her plan for him—though, Achilles supposed, by definition, Destiny was immutable, the fates she spun inevitable. 

He curled his fingers around his own cup of tea and met Marlon’s one good eye. 

“So tell me. What do I have to do?”  

#llnks #stardew valley fanfiction #sdv fanfiction #stardew valley oc #stardew valley farmer #sdv oc #sdv elliott #sdv alex

[autogynocrat]

I can't wait for something PrOBLemAtiC to happen with Marvel so all those former Harry Potter adults who latched onto MCU when JKR got canceled. It'll be funny watching them run around trying desperately to find just one piece of perfectly unproblematic, sanitized media

right now i think that's impossible because marvel is more decentralized like it's owned by the faceless corporate that is Disney. theres nobody important enough who can be ostracized for problematic beliefs that it would meaningfully alter the course of the MCU which is a soulless project, every writer is replacable at any given moment. if james gunn turned out to be a harvey weinsteinn who donates to the klan and said trans women are groomers or something you know what would happen? Disney would fire him abd replace him with an exact carbon copy off the assembly line of the mediocre Hollywood managerial class. he probably knows it too. but Rowling is special.

JKR acts like a pope issuing papal bulls. by clearly establishing herself as a public fugue she becomes representative of the media she creates an inseparable link between her as figurehead and the series as a media. harry potter cannot succeed without jkr. its easy to separate the art from the artist if the artist is faceless and voiceless but but jkr is not these things. think about it. if one of the daft punk guys was racist or transphobic we would never know because their identify isn't relevant to their work in a meaningful way. before elon musk opened his big fat dumb mouth most people thought tesla was cool

[mindnightthoughts]

oh don’t mind this! It’s just my thoughts and emotions that I can’t keep in anymore!

Me: I need to get a therapist!

My parents: why?

My mind: because everything that you think is good for me is really hurting me so much but I don’t know what to do!

Me: because of what my cousin did to me!

My parents:Fine

*gets a therapist*

The therapist: so why are you here today?

Me:*tells her some small things that have been messing with me my entire life but I never told my parents about because I didn’t want to bother them*

My therapist: oh no! Don’t worry I can’t tell anyone any of this! *immediately tells my mom* 

My mind: just keep smiling through the pain!

The next week

Me: *tells her a bit more*

My therapist: well god always has a plan!

My mind: well that’s the fucking problem now- church makes me hate myself!

Me: mhm-

——————

Me at age 11: mom, dad, I’m bisexual!

My parents: whatever your sister went through the same faze-

Me: oh haha ok

Me at 14: I’m still bisexual!

My parents: you just think that because of the stupid shit you watch!

Me: ha ha ha ok

Me at 16: i have a valentines!

My parents: is it a girl? If it is you are NOT getting anything!

Me: *lies* ha ha nope it’s a guy his name is Harvey!

My parents: alright whatever.

——————

My parents: no dating till your 16, no party’s till your 16, no school dances till your 16, we want non of that till your 16!

Me: ok that’s fine.

My siblings: go to games! Go to dances! We regret not going!

Me:ok definitely!

turns 16

Me: yay! I can do things! I can’t wait for homecoming! This year I’m so going to pop off and it’s going to be the best!

Me: mom dad me and my female friend would like to go to homecoming with a small group can I go!?

My parents: No.

Me: why?

My parents: we will talk about it later!

Me: oh ok…

My brain: don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry! This is stupid! It’s just your entire high school experience most likely completely ruined by the fact that your gay!

——————

me:*eating my first meal of the day*

my parents and grandparents: you need to stop eating I much you’ll get fat like the rest of us!

Me: hahaha ok

——————

My siblings: * suffering from horrible depression and anxiety*

My parents:* focused on them*

Me: * almost successfully offing myself*

My best friend: I haven’t seen you eat in a hot minute! Here have some food!

Me: oh-

——————

Me: *hearing every complaint about what my siblings did when they were in high school so me not doing these things to keep on my parents good side*

Me: *is apart of the LGBTQIA+ community*

My parents when they think I’m not listening: ugh she’s always on her phone and never does anything for anyone she doesn’t even hang out with friends!

Me who tried to go to a friends house not long ago has straight A’s and is in several clubs over working myself till I constantly feel completely sick but is still trying at more on my plate so I can do more for them:…

——————

Me knowing that the way my parents treated me at times is horrible and makes me feel completely horrible but that the other times where they are kind and caring make up for it for the most part: ok I can do this! I really like it at my house for the most part and I’m comfortable when I am! Only two years to go and I’ll be on my own rather in college or the Air Force!

also me in any social situation after so many years of caring to much and scaring people away:

#trama dump #this is fine #spain without the s #family #high school #living off spite #sad thoughts #im in distress #nervous laughter

[spaceageloveblog]

I watched an Anthony Fantano video about Pitchfork's AOTYs for each year of the first decade of the 2000s. Had the idea to listen to each of the 10 albums and share my thoughts on them. Plus talk about my favorite albums from each of those years. And other music I remember from those years. And maybe other memories I have too. But I haven't gotten past the year 2000 yet.

PJ Harvey's Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea is my favorite album from that year. And upon reflection it feels like a transition pick representing a transition year for me. 2000 might be the earliest year I could go back to, pick my favorite album with hindsight, and it also be something I liked back in that year too. That is, I assume if I picked 1999 and earlier, the album I would call out as my favorite now is likely not something I was into in 1999.

"You Said Something" is my favorite song on that album and is still something I listen to on regular rotation to this day. A couple months from now, when I'm absentmindedly creating a quick playlist for some random reason, there's a reasonable chance I throw that song on there. I often wonder what the "something" "said" that she "has never forgotten" and "was really important." Probably something like "I love you" if I had to guess. But every once in a while I like to think it was something zany that'd be impossible to guess.

Why was 2000 a transition time in my life? I turned 21. I hadn't lost weight yet, that'd start the next year, though I daydreamed about it. I think I even tried lifting weights in the basement of the house my friends and I lived in over the summer. I remember hearing to "Californication" on WEBN nearly every evening while lifting. Then I'd come upstairs and go get Hardees for dinner. Even my other fat friends were like, what are you doing?

Though I was into Oasis and The Verve and the post-Britpop bands those bands got me into, I was still more in a Korn and Rage Against the Machine phase of life. Limp Bizkit was still big though my friends were more into them than me. But that was more of what I was listening to. PJ Harvey was a departure, but that album would take me more toward the music I'd start listening to. I remember toward the end of the year, ending the evening watching videos on MTV2, "Catch the Sun" and "Yellow" were on regular rotation, and I loved those songs.

So the kids and I were up in Ohio visiting my mom and my brother's family last week. And we did the 15 hour drive straight through bath ways. On the drive back I needed something to keep me interested so we only listened to music from the year 2000. We started with Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea and it sounded perfect took as my first sip of the Americano I ordered in the drive thru of the Alliance Starbucks at 6:35 in the morning, the first coffee stop on the journey.

We listened to Kid A next, Pitchfork's AOTY for 2000. I've listened to the whole thing before. Radiohead are perfectly acceptable to me, but others obviously like them much more than I do. Like seemingly everyone my age, I like the song "Creep." I remember it on played endlessly on MTV the summer between 8th and 9th grade. I really like The Bends album which came out during high school for me, probably my favorite of theirs, though I know the critics preferred what came next much more. OK Computer is good of course, but I always go back to The Bends more so that's why it's my favorite. Kid A came out when I was living in the fraternity house in college and it wasn't for me at that moment in time. Don't think I listened to it in its entirety until years later. Think I lost track of Radiohead after that, but maybe 5 years ago, I read something somewhere that In Rainbows was their best album. That came out in 2007 and I had no idea. I was busy with work and starting a family and listening to pop music during that time in my life. I listened to it when I read about it and it wasn't for me.

The kids didn't notice I was doing this 2000 thing yet. I know they've heard me play PJ Harvey songs before, so those probably washed over them unnoticed. And they probably thought Kid A was just another one of those weird things Dad likes.

I then mixed in songs off other albums from Pitchfork's top 10 of 2000, most of which--if not all--I had never heard before: Sigur Rós, Modest Mouse, Yo La Tengo, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Grandaddy, The Microphones, Les Savy Fav, Clinic, Smog. Some of it was fine, just wasn't the best situation to deeply absorb new music, careening down I-77 from Ohio to West Virginia to Virginia to North Carolina to South Carolina, timing gas stops and bathroom breaks, looking for good coffee and clean fast food places, still having to cutover on I-26 to I-95 to make to Georgia then Florida. The only album of those I listened to its entirety was Modest Mouse's The Moon & Antarctica because I like their other stuff. And I guess it was fine. Bu it's been a week or so and I haven't gone back for more of any of it yet.

Then I started playing stuff I remember liking--or at least sort of liking--that came out in 2000: "One Armed Scissor" by At the Drive-In, the singles from the Marshall Mathers LP and Outkast's Stankonia, and "Music" by Madonna. That led to Alice Deejay and other Eurdance stuff I remember from that year. I went to Europe for the first time in spring 2000 and Eurodance music was the soundtrack of my trip. "Kernkraft 400" and "Freestyler" were the songs I remember most fondly, besides all the Alice Deejay bangers, "Better Off Alone" being the most bangerest of all her bangers.

Many pop songs that were big here in the U.S. were also omnipresent in my travels in France and Belgium and The Netherlands and Germany and Italy. Like "Oops!...I Did It Again" and "The Thong Song." That led me to start going for stuff I remember regardless of if I liked it or not. That's the funny thing about nostalgia I've noticed, things I disliked in the moment, I can listen back to now and have warm feelings about them. Like Savage Garden or that "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" song.

At some point in the trip, probably during a switch from one Redbox DVD rental to another, one of the kids requested a song, but I told them we were only listening to songs from the year 2000. The were slightly annoyed at first but eventually acquiesced because although I'm a pushover on many subjects, they know that when I get the idea of listening to 15 consecutive hours of music from the year 2000, there's no moving me off it.

Some of the songs led to interesting conversations. Mostly with my oldest, a 14 y/o boy who just finished his freshman year of high school and was sitting shotgun, throwing me random hypotheticals and trivia to keep me awake. At one point I made the comment that it was harder to find playlists of 2000 as opposed to say 2001 or 2007, because when you search 2000 specifically, you find more decade-based playlists, whereas if you search for 2005, you find playlists for the precise year.

That led him to ask me, when inquiring about when someone was born, how far back to you have to go to not care about the precise year and only care about the decade. I said, well, there's a big difference between someone born in 1950 or 1959, because someone born in 1950 was a young adult during the turmoil of the late '60s and early '70s, while the person born in 1950 was in elementary school at the time. So we settled on the 1940s. If you were born during that decade, we don't need the precise year.

My son then started talking about draft, that someone born in 1950 could have been drafted for the Vietnam War. Then he asked why that even happened. And I said it seems like a mistake looking back but cautioned him on hindsight bias and having skin in the game when assessing decision-making. And all I could talk about pulling from personal experience was the buildup to the Iraq War, and I felt it was crazy at the time, but I was just out of college and it was easy for me to say, I didn't really have any skin in the game. And then we had all sorts of conversations about expert opinions and who to trust, but at some point he has to decide things for himself. His mom and I could tell advise him on how to live his life, but in the long run, he has to live with his decisions, not us. I think he listened, and I like to think some of what I said resonated.

I saved Coldplay's debut album for the end, another one of my favorites from the year. I told my son how I really like their first two albums but I sort of lost interest after that, but they obviously became much more popular after that. He humored me and listened to me talk about music I liked when I was young. Then that album ended and there were still 45 minutes to go in our drive, so we listened to Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea again. I told him this was my favorite album from 2000. He said he recognized some of the songs and continued to humor me and not say anything critical. I even caught him singing along to a few of the lyrics of "You Said Something."

If I live long enough, maybe in 2052 we'll take a long drive and he play me his favorite music from 2029.

#Anthony Fantano #Pitchfork #2000 #music #PJ Harvey #rock #alternative #road trips #Radiohead #Alice Deejay #Europe #Eurodance #Coldplay #parenting #kids