#my new coping strategy

[thebirdarts]

Assorted Estinian's drawn from screenshots of the dragoon level 40-50 quests. [please click for better quality]

#thebirdarts #ffxiv estinien #ffxiv art #estinien wyrmblood #i had loads of fun drawing him! #some landscapes also from teh questline in the works #i call this style pencil whos that? its just me and paint roller #ok they have way to many sketch layers for how rough they look #but i just used the paint roller tool but even smaller #several times just devolving to hopefully form showing scribbles for the armour #its my new coping strategy to avoid speedruning artistsic burnout [trying to accurately draw the dragoon armour] #fun fact! because its all black its a bitch to understand whats going of unless your tablet is the brightness of teh sun #but tbh i could have just drawn him out of his armour with the sketches i did for that purpose #but thats scary #hes fused to his helmet #its like midnighters cowl #thst just the charterers face #at least we have a consistant hair colour for estinian tho #one day i will draw estinian not in his armour #for now you just get dragoon armour in diff colours and poses

[iridescent-x-pixie]

I miss london sm :< wanna go bk lol

#i miss it sm #i love walking round new places and seeing stuff i havent seen aaaah #need to explore some of the further towns around the nw n see even more new places i need to get out my comfort zone #bearing in mind i have social anxiety n therefore should hate london n manchester #but its like exposure therapy #n being in my own space all the time isnt good for me always/for prolonged timess #idk if im too sheltered/isolated #but i think that i need to try to be in public spaces #to try to cope with the panic or practice coping strategies

[shwoo]

Grumpus Headcanons (1/3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

I finished my big list of headcanons about the Bugsnax characters and their pre-game relationships, and it turned out super long! So instead of using a readmore like normal people, I'm going to post it in three parts over three days.

These aren't, like, analytical headcanons; they're mostly just me making stuff up that I think is plausible. I meant to do this a year ago, and even already expanded a little in a fanfic on the headcanon about Chandlo being a small kid (here). But I got it done eventually! The idea is one headcanon for one character or relationship.

Character Headcanons (Eggabell Batternugget - Gramble Gigglefunny)

Eggabell Batternugget I think she actively studied Bugsnax with Floofty, as well as volunteering as a test subject, but I also think that has some backing in the game, so it's not the headcanon I'm talking about here. The headcanon is what she was studying: the nutritional value of Bugsnax. This is how she's able to be so confident that they're a perfectly balanced source of nutrition in her DLC interview. She also tried to figure out what exactly made them feel so good to eat. Being an endocrinologist, she guessed that it was some hormone, and made some progress in figuring out whether that was true, but then the earthquake happened.

Clumby Clumbernut She wasn't interested in joining the Snackolytes, and said no once Jamfoot was done talking about recruitment bonuses, though she knew he was telling her, not asking. But she was the last survivor of her expedition, and Jamfoot told her that she probably wouldn't last long all alone. Based on what she'd seen so far, Clumby agreed, so she joined up with the intention of going back on it once they were back on the mainland. But the Snakolytes were a lot bigger and more influential than she'd thought. They're also the reason she's continuing to do a job she hates.

Cromdo Face Hiding his singing is a habit left over from childhood, when he'd get in trouble if he did something fun when there was still work to be done. He also didn't have a lot of privacy, making it hard to find a time and place to sing that didn't annoy anyone. When he got married later, his singing also annoyed his husband. The idea that crime was the best shortcut to living comfortably was his own, though.

Filbo Fiddlepie I've made up my mind. He grew up with Lizbert; he's Grumpus American-Australian. His family moved to… I'm going to say Grumpus Sydney when his dad was a preteen, and his dad returned to New Grump City after finishing year twelve, then moved back to a smaller town when Filbo was a toddler. Filbo speaks American English to please his family, particularly his dad. Also he definitely did not get his pen licence in primary school. I've seen his handwriting in-game. I came up with a lot of extra stuff about Filbo's dad, for a story that's still in editing, but I'd sum up his attitude as "I love my cringe fail son".

Floofty Fizzlebean They've always been interested in biology and experimentation, but their parents impressed the importance of consent on them early. As a result, they've been experimenting on themself since before they were in their teens. They accidentally poisoned themself when they were sixteen. Snorpy found them, and they spent a week in the hospital. Also, their hair used to be a more vivid purple, for reasons unrelated to ageing.

Snorpy Fizzlebean First, psychotic Snorpy. That's an obvious one. But not all the stuff he believes is a delusion. I don't know enough about psychosis to go into detail, but he is aware of it, and so is Chandlo, and they have strategies. Less so for the conspiracy stuff, since Snorpy is unwilling to talk to Chandlo about that. And being on Snaktooth definitely made things worse. But, he really is being monitored by the "Grumpinati" (actually the Snakolytes), even if he's wrong about some of the details. They were involved in the artificial limbs project, as well as some other things that Snorpy noticed but blamed on the Grumpinati. They could disappear him, but he's off the mark about so much, and they think nobody would believe him anyway, so they don't bother.

Chandlo Funkbun If he didn't work out all the time, he'd be skinny as well as short. His body doesn't build muscle mass easily. He got beaten up a lot as a kid, because his school had a bullying problem, and he kept trying to intervene, while also being tiny. He started strength training as soon as he could, and got stronger pretty fast, but he stayed skinny until after puberty.

Gramble Gigglefunny He grew up in a very rural area, and concluded that if he wanted to find a family, he needed to be around more people. So he moved to New Grump City, and waited for a family to come to him. Instead, he learned the ways you can also be lonely in a big city. His preference for animals over people didn't help. Lizbert's expedition was his third attempt at finding a new family, as he thought he might get along better with the kind of people who'd go on this kind of expedition than with the people in his home town.

#Bugsnax #Eggabell Batternugget #Clumby Clumbernut #Cromdo Face #Filbo Fiddlepie #Floofty Fizzlebean #Snorpy Fizzlebean #Chandlo Funkbun #Gramble Gigglefunny #This set of headcanons is so old that my original one for Clumby was 'she knew Bronica' #Based on her comment about Bronica in the instruction booklet and nothing else because Bigsnax wasn't out yet #I did a fair bit of research on psychosis but I still need to do more #Looking up coping strategies brings up about what you'd expect if you've ever searched for info on a stigmatised mental thing #Filbo being an American-talking Australian is my new beloved #I... don't really like comedy Australian accents like Lizbert's so Filbo's accent sidesteps this issue #Filbo's dad Miglo is also my beloved (He's not the greatest person) #Rest of the individual character headcanons tomorrow night (about 24 hours) unless something unexpected happens

[peachcitt]

oh my god college life

#peach stuff #i was supposed to work on my final project for my english class today and i didn’t #but i wrote a page and a half yesterday. gonna spend all of tomorrow workin. so . maybe it’ll be alright. who knows. #i have a full unit assignment due a few days after American thanksgiving that i haven’t started i don’t really know what’s going on there #presumably i’ll have that done by next monday #next friday i have my capstone (thesis? end of major project?) presentation that ive invited my family and my teacher that I’ve been #showdowing for the past year. as well as all of my professors. so presumably it has to be good #and good god all my shit is catching up to me. i don’t really have much of breaks. but i am taking breaks anyways to get drunk. #god . college life is so fucked up #go to college but also keep your expectations for it normal. you’re not going to do more #(unless you’re not for sure neurotypical in which case. have fun) #but if you’re neurotypical or undiagnosed. be sure to pack coping strategies or learn new ones #because holy fuck. goddamn. .i have not beeen doing well #anyways goodnight unless i say something else . in which case who gives a fuck. #just . don’t ever listen to me. that’s the lesson to be learned #goodnight

[mejomonster]

Im doing the fun part of writing: just wrote my cast, the locations, now jotting down the key scenes <3

Thw hard part: knowing once im fleshing this put eaxh key scene is going to blossom into 4-8 somehow and turn into 2k minimum each but possibly 10k words and then. And THEN. Hardest of all my adhd kick my ass and ill get 20,000 words in and lose my ability to focus for several weeks and be so sad i cant fucking focus and write and like 200 words will come out after 4 hours of effort and damn it

#rant #mejo writing #i looked up over the counter options for adhd and im crushed tbh #it said caffeine was pretty much the only option that worked. i already drink 1 pot a day #i dont think more coffee will have any additional help for me. i already drink primarily coffee from 8 am to 6 pm #the other suggestion was nicotine and nope not doing that #the last was Alternate caffeine options like 5 hour energy or mountain dew. and again #im already having a pot of coffee i dont think more caffeine will do anything to help #im lucky coffee doesnt make me anxious doesnt upset my tummy doesnt really do anything to me except taste good #so if its helping focus its a win win since id drink it anyway #but it clearly aint helping enough ;-; #im very scared to even try asking my new therapist for help #cause 1 im succeeding at my job! i do ALL the fucking adhd coping strategies so yeah. im doing fine at work #exhaustsd but managing. so i doubt shed give me medicine since im managjng even if it runs me down #and then 2 i got gastroparesis that acts bad with all mental health meds ive tried #(as in my gi tract just stops moving more. even oj ones meant to speed the gi tract up like setraline and prozac #so i dont kjow if an adhd med would also freeze up my gi tract more. which. i just cannot do that #i cant deal with Worse gastroparesis again im not vomiting daily again straving for weeks again im #not willing to suffer that again. so if i had that reaction id try like 3 days) #i am so jealous of ppl with meds. id do neurofeedback for adhd again but it was exoensive and im tired 1 session a week was a lot #and it kicked up my panic attacks which. is why i stopped)

[skelingtonsderek]

You ever see something that causes you psychic damage?

They're talking about getting their kid tested for ADHD because the school recommended it and instead getting their kid identified as gifted and put on an accelerated track.

I love to be the bearer of news here for ya because accelerated learning tracks are GREAT accomodations for people with ADHD.

Turns out he was just bored? Respectfully, do you understand what ADHD is and how it works? Of course he's bored he has ADHD.

The "gifted" program's gift is actually just late diagnosis once your kid leaves the academic world and discovers that they have received zero actual skills, habits, or support to help them be successful as an adult.

I think the really fucking tragic part is that most of the time late diagnosis happens AFTER the new adult has crashed and burned trying to establish themselves after they leave the nest. Oftentimes going in for help for depression and coming out with an ADHD diagnosis because it turns out their depression is comorbid.

Tl;dr: Without knowing you have a disability, it is impossible to accommodate your disability so that you can still fucking function and learn how to flourish as yourself. End fucking stop.

#gifted program? #yeah right worst gift ever #all late diagnosis ADHDers deserve a shirt that says #i got put into the gifted program and all i got was massive trauma and an inferiority complex #my only coping skill to completing tasks is to put myself into a state of desperate panic #and rush through whatever it is at the last minute which leaves mr chronically 12 hours from total failure #and now i cant manage my life because instead of being taught how to exist with a disability #i was taught that i should be performing at everything at a higher level than every single abled person i know #and if im not it's not because i have a literal actual disability but because im lazy and refuse to put quote mind over matter end quote #and now that i have crashed and burned because of these obviously terrible strategies i have no safety net to catch me #as i navigate through this new world of trying to figure out how to flourish as myself #and not the cookie cutter shape i sliced myself open to fit inside to please the authority figures in my life #and all i got was this fucking tshirt that lives at the bottom of this laundry pile i can never put away #because i havent figured out an effective laundry system for myself yet #the shirt only comes in double XL or larger because the text won't fit on smaller sizes #hello adhdarkness my old friend #adhd problems

[brella-boi]

I know ive been sort of going insane in the past few weeks, or months, and ive been doing a lot of soul searching through it. ive been sort of manic about a lot of things while simultaneously burned out from a lot of things and not staying on top of what people booked me for commission wise and also thinking fifty thoughts an hour like some kind of insane beast and its been driving me crazy

the question of 'why am i losing my mind this way. why cant i relax and just watch a movie or play a game or do anything' has been plaguing my mind for months. and you might be thinking 'jay you havent never been this productive in your life' and youre right but i got it i got the answer

ive been pouring so much brain energy and thinking and art into expanding my shop even when i said at the start of the year that im gonna fucking relax and instead had 500 thoughts on how to invest more into it- i got it

there isnt a single thing ive been able to hyperfocus on in months

ive been flip flopping and trying to repurpose all this spare manic brain energy into SOMETHING and anything that it hasnt occured to me

so ive figured out a plan of action. im going to do what ive been wanting to do for the past 12 years and actually continue to build and expand on my xenobiology texts and eventually turn it into a zine/book. id like to write extensively about the alien species and dive deep into their world. ive been holding back on expanding their world as its essentially destroyed in the present day, but i think it would be cool and- more importantly- fun for me to focus on.

so by god hold me to it. hold me to this goal or im going to DIE from my racing brain and the monkey behind the wheel ive no control over

#times like these i really wish i could go and get diagnosed on what the hell is wrong with me lmao #but this is going to be my new experimental coping strategy #this is my new goal for the year along with doing more traditional art #by god let the aliens save my sorry ass #ramble

[victory-cookies]

having a fun experience where I’m not depressed yet, but I’m like. On the cusp of falling into a depression again. Like I can feel my stupid brain wondering “hmm maybe I will hate myself today?” and I’m just sitting here beaming epithet into my corneas constantly in the hopes I can hold it at bay. So far it’s working. I am worried that will not last

#uh oh! Looks like someone doesn’t know any real strategies for coping with depression! whoops! #I’m also starting a new type of birth control pill tomorrow bc my old ones. Yknow may have been contributing to the depression #but chances are the switch will upset my hormones and make me even more depressed for the next month at least! Fuck! #anyway. sorry for being off I am super fucking busy again and I guess will be for the rest of time #night

[rhizomehaunt]

real "my brain is eating itself" hours rn

#I have to remember that my brain sometimes attacks itself in an attempt to protect me #which was a survival strategy my bodymind came up with during traumatic childhood to keep me safe #and while I have better ways and resources to cope now and am safe #those old protective patterns are still whirring away and the process of making new ones takes time #notes to self

[neverendingford]

.

#also. meta-discussion. undeath of the author. I'm so stressed out of my mind rn. I'm consuming myself in any available media. #it's fun but damn is it a coping strategy #I'm not at “read a new book every day” high school levels of stress. but I'm certainly within a stone's throw of it #I fucked up my sleep and I'll so aughhh

[middle-name-queer]

Yesterday was the nicest christmas with family I've had in years and I know it's because I started medication got a hair cut.

#my family is the same and still hmm sometimes but i have new and ever growing strategies to cope

[thorinkingoferebor]

another wednesday, another stellar andor episode 😩

#had therapy cancelled this morning cause my counsellor is sick so watched the new episode instead #incredible coping strategy right there #anyway i have so many thoughts! so many thoughts! #need to watch it again tonight #but again the acting! #andy serkis man! #also stellan skarsgård!!!! #pretty sure that scene at the end was the scene everyone was talking about in the reviews #kino loy though :(((((( #hope he jumped in the end :( #better that than the alternative but man the irony of it #that sucked #also i looooove how we're getting closer and closer to rogue one in terms of cassian's characterisation #he's clearly the driving force behind the riot but like rogue one it's all background work #he identifies who he needs to work on to get everyone else on his side and he just does it #even gives him the right words to use because he knows they won't work coming from him but coming from kino? #there's legitimacy there and people follow #(also the rogue one parallel! where he gives jyn the line she later uses with the council! same tactic!) #SO MANY THOUGHTS! #also wondering if dedra and syril will figure out who's behind the prison break next episode? #i really want syril to go full on kirk and go AAAAAAAANNNNDOOOOOOOOR #let the little creep have a mental breakdown as a treat #text posts by thea #thea watches andor

[teaboot]

Forgive me if you’ve already answered something similar but how do you deal with crushing guilt when you did fuck up but there’s not really anything you can do to like make amends or you’ve already done anything you could and still feel guilty?

Like I know the guilt isn’t productive at all, if anything it’s just paralyzing me, and mentally beating myself up over it isn’t actually helping anyone. But I don’t know where to go from there. Idk how to actually forgive myself, or at least be able to move on

CW FOR SELF HARM

Okay, so this is something I've had to work through for a very long time myself, and there's a few different strategies that I've used to cope and process with varying levels of success.

What I used to do was handle the "I've ruined everything and hurt people and am never going to be forgiven" feeling by hurting myself in a number of creative and stupid ways, from physical hurt (Everything you'd expect) to mental hurt (wallowing, speaking badly of myself, going over the bad thing over and over again in my head) to passive hurt (neglecting my health, not eating properly, failing to pursue good living conditions, letting others hurt me, deliberately wandering into risky situations) and despite any short-term relief or peace I got, none of it ultimately fixed anything.

At the end of the day, making myself suffer as retribution or apology didn't fix the thing I'd done and didn't make the guilt go away, and all it gave me was an additional sense of shame and isolation because now not only was I a garbage person, I was a garbage person with something to hide from my loved ones. Zero out of ten, do not recommend.

The stuff that DID help was harder and is going to sound stupid because *I thought it was stupid* until it worked for me.

First: Learn the difference between GUILT and SHAME.

GUILT is how you feel about your choices.

SHAME is how you feel about yourself.

"I was late to a date again, that was inconsiderate": GUILT. The issue can be resolved by analyzing the reason behind the action and planning steps to avoid repeating it in the future. Guilt is productive because it motivates us to improve our choices. Once you've corrected the behaviour, it's over.

A"I was late to a date again, I'm inconsiderate": SHAME. The issue can be resolved by asking ourselves:

What negative thing to I believe about myself?

What other experiences support this belief? What evidence do I have that the bad thing is true?

Do those previous experiences have anything in common? Where they actually proof of a personal lack, or did someone just tell me they were? Were my choices and actions understandable? Did I have a reason? Was I trying to hurt others, or was it a mistake, accident, or learning experience? Have I grown from that experience?

Can I forgive myself for the past? What do I need to do to forgive myself for those past events? Was I really at fault at all, or was it out of my control?

Accept that.

Your present traumas and shames often have roots in beliefs you had about yourself before the new shameful thing occurred. When you dig into resolving the issues that led to today, you can use those conclusions to work through tomorrow. This is something I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy.

There are a number of ways of unpacking these questions, but as I felt I was deliberately avoiding my thoughts and feelings, I chose to jump into them directly, and found it to be effective.

You can write things down, talk to someone, paint something, draw something, whatever. Whatever at all works for you.

My solutions was to find a comfortable place on the floor, sit down, close my eyes, and do box-breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4) while deliberately thinking about every upsetting memory attached to a specific bad belief that I could recall until I had nothing left to go over.

Judge and jury. Was I a bad person, or did I make a mistake? Did I have malicious intentions, or did someone accuse me of malicious intentions? Am I bad, or have I been conditioned to believe I'm bad? And at the end of it all, am I capable of better? Do I want to be better? And would a truly bad person care?

It was more emotional than I expected the first few times. Cried a lot, actually. But if I can liken it to a common feeling, it was like getting out of a very thorough shower and realizing you didn't know how dirty you were before.

The process sucks ass, no lie, but it's worth it. Like draining pus from a gnarly wound to get it healed up properly.

I'm not an expert, of course, but life has gotten better since I started. I'm better at forgiving myself, at least.

Also: Some people will never forgive others even for tiny things. Sometimes once you've done your best, you've just gotta say "fuck 'em". C'est la vie, mon amie.

Good luck, yeah?

♡

#Self harm cw #Guilt and shame

[cemeterything]

trying out a new coping strategy on my self destructive tendencies where i reframe them as "winning at self sabotage" in an attempt to reverse psychology them into eating themselves ouroboros style

#🐉 #lets see if it works #i hit a new rock bottom today so surely it can only be up from here

[adventuringblind]

Monsters in my Mind

Max Verstappen x Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Sometimes those thoughts won't leave, the ones you don't want... The ones that can be dangerous. All it takes is one person to help make them go away.

Warnings: Intrusive thoughts, referenced/implied self-harm, violent thoughts, impulsive behaviors, panic attacks, non-sexual dominance as a form of coping, dom/sub undertones

Notes: My thoughts are self stabby as of late. Pardon me as I write this for myself to keep my head and hands busy.

Side Note: Consider feeding my praise kink maybe...?

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

The head is a strange place. One's conscious is usually meant to help them make the right decisions and not engage in acts that could hurt them or others. Her head, however, is the opposite of that.

It's a dark twisted place where thoughts that aren't her own find refuge. They want to bathe her in the ecstasy of things that shouldn't feel good. daydreams about things that could repulse any typical human being.

Sometimes they are so strong and her bodies reactions are so out of control, that she has to find relief somewhere. The knife against her skin takes the edge off. Is it normal to moan at the sting and feel satisfied looking at her red stained thighs? She does, until the realization settles in and the guilt won't let her think.

The thoughts laugh at her for giving in so easily. They scrutinize the fact she gets off on the pain.

She walks around in fear of herself. The anxiety and exhaustion from constantly fighting herself are visible on her body. She's tired, and everyone knows it. It's why they don't come near her. Always to caught up in her own head to realize people are trying converse.

It's not like her job requires to much discussion with people. Puzzles keep her brain busy and Ferrari keeps her busy with all the strategy mishaps they throw at her. They throw her a problem, she solves it, plans for next time, and they fuck it up again by not using the solution.

Sometimes she thinks about throwing herself in front of an F1 car going full speed. That voice in her head screams at her anytime she's close to the live track.

Then there is Max. His voice sends the thoughts running and it makes her want to cling to him. She wants him to never stop talking about anything and everything.

Today had been particularly difficult with the of the driver switch coming at the end of the season. Carlos and Charles are the first drivers she's worked with and they all got along great. She doesn't want it to change. That means more unknowns.

The wind graces her cheeks and kisses her finger tips as she sits on the balcony of their apartment. Everything is to much right now and her thoughts won't quiet.

She was in Maranello when the news came out. Her head became so loud with the fear of change and worry for her friend. Enough to be sent home for the day - alone, and nothing to help her head aside from the burning desire to just end it all.

Max had made arraignments for her to spend some time with him in the Milton-Keynes. She was still alone for periods of time. Enough to have to settle herself somehow.

The color red makes something in her relax. Specifically when it's flowing out of her own body.

Now Max is with her and she's stuck in her own head. The never ending maze of twisted thoughts keeps her from moving. The fear of giving in has been looming over her head for longer then normal. It feels like she's losing something, always has been with this team, but change feels far worse then staying with them.

Max hasn't pushed her to do much aside from at least stay in his presence. Occasionally attempting to get her out of her own head with movies and games. He's even spent hours at a time just talking to her about anything and everything.

He opens the door to the balcony, but she doesn't look at him. Not until he holds his hand out for her to take. An action she does without hesitation. No thoughts are needed for this, just following Max's lead.

He leads her over to the couch and arranges them so she can sit tucked into his lap. A grounding hand runs up and down the lenght of her spine. "I've been doing some research about how we might be able to get your head to quiet down."

"I'll do anything, jus' want it to stop." Her voice sounds dry and cracked from how hard she's screamed and cried through the last few days.

"Do you trust me?"

"More then I trust anyone."

She finds herself slipping off the couch and onto her knees, in-between Max's legs with her head resting against his thigh. His touch doesn't leave her skin. "You're doing so good for me. Listen to my voice and focus on taking big breathes for me. Can you do that for me?"

She hums in response. The continual stroke of Max's fingers against her face and sound of his voice already helping immensely.

"That's it, just breathe for me. I've got you; you don't have to fight the thoughts alone. I'm right here with you, keeping them away, never leaving your side." Max grabs one of her hands with his free one. her fingers lay between his. Her favorite puzzle with how easy the pieces fit together.

"You're here with me; I've got you. Those scary thoughts aren't your own. The are unwanted and uninvited, but most importantly, they don't define you. You are brave, loved, beautiful without gaping wounds. You're not crazy or psychotic. You are yourself, with your highs and your lows."

Her body has never felt like this. Her entire being wants to give itself over to Max. His breathes guiding her own, his gentle yet firm hold on her keeping her where he wants.

She lets herself fall under his spell. If Max can take the control away from her, make her complaint and relaxed like this, then he can have her thoughts too.

"That's it, such a good girl, let me think for you. I won't leave you to fight or flounder on your own."

She follows Max's directions, lets him guide her in this place of trust and letting go of things. He's turning her brain off and letting her float without any kind of worries except what Max is telling her to do.

Until all she can think of is him. The calm the comes with his presence and the way his voice falls over her like a soft blanket. Max is all she knows, occupying every crevice of her mind and leaving no room for anything else to creep in.

"How're you feeling, geliefd?" There is a lightness to his tone that makes her swoon.

She hums against his leg. "Warm, fuzzy, head empty."

"Then you stay here as long as you need, okay? I'll keep you safe."

And she does.

She falls into the warm embrace of Max's words. She lets him protect her and keep the dark ugly thoughts away.

With Max, her head is quiet. The voices can't come though. When they do, he's there to fight them back.

#x reader #formula 1 #f1 fic #fanficion #f1 fanfic #racing #formula one #max verstappen #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen x y/n #mv1 imagine #mv33 #mv1 #mv1 x reader #mv33 x reader #mv33 imagine #mv33 fic #mv33 x you #redbull #redbull racing #redbull f1 #redbull max #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #ferrari

[idiopathicsmile]

*crawls out from under a table* listen. i thought i was doing pretty well against seasonal affective disorder this year—making strides, learning new coping mechanisms, internalizing strategies—but it turns out what i was actually doing was enjoying the benefits of an unseasonable sunny spell. now where i live it is cloudy and dark and it has been unremittingly cloudy and dark for days on end and i have forgotten the feeling of natural light on my skin. my brain is missing an ingredient. my soul itself has rickets. is it possible to apply fish oil directly to the personality? can you shine a light therapy lamp bright enough to reach my shriveling heart? it is so dark outside. it is so dark. i can feel myself starting to transform into a goddamn tim burton character. fucking feed me to that weird snake creature from beetlejuice. not in a vore way.

#depression cw #my only succor is reading fic and also complaining #if you've got any good fic recs throw em my way #or if you wanna complain about the current state of the heavens BY ALL MEANS pull up a chair