#neurosexy

[candiid-caniine]

support needs and sex

having trouble with words recently. during this, I don't post much. have autism, have talked about it here before, but only small things.

but lots of frustration recently about representing. how people with low support needs have louder voices. people with cute, quirky autism get represented more because neurotypicals don't feel as uncomf. still they have their struggles but you know. middle to high support needs are uncomf. have to hide, have to be quiet. people with low support needs, also sometimes think *their* autism is *all* autism. don't want to talk about mid/high supports people, or be associated.

but, speech loss bad enough that I don't want to go into it today. stick to what is doable.

autistic people have sex. autistic people do kink. lot of positivity here about this. i've seen it. you've seen it. you've seen me also do it.

but autism in sex, not just:

cute stimming because sex feels good

sensory overload, in a good way

hard to speak because of good feelings

person getting flustered/shy/nervous

not only cute. not only shy. not only because of good feelings.

autism can be ugly, scary, difficult, bad communicating, hard to know how to support, getting in the way.

for me:

speech loss; not cute speech loss because of good feelings, speech loss because life is exhausting; exhausted, don't want to have sex

handling rejection poorly. have to use a lot of energy to keep from being a bad partner because of overreacting

sensory overload because good, but i dissociate because sensory overload

use sex to escape bad feelings, not in a healthy coping way

can't explain why i react poorly. in most circumstances. but also happens around sex

frustration because i can't think how to explain

meltdown because so frustrated

cycle repeats

have trouble understanding un-firm versions of "no" (have to work hard to communicate with partner, and i do, but hard work af)

have trouble understanding "maybe"

have trouble predicting how i "will/would" feel

thus frustration. meltdown. cycle resumes

or, know what i want; don't know how to explain

AND YET: i am not:

too dysfunctional for sex/relationship

"basically a child"/too immature

unsafe person

too fucked up for marriage

bad person for dating

someone who should avoid sex until burnout ends

...because i am adult. my partner is an adult. we talk about things. we know good expectations. i don't lie about can/can't do things. they don't lie about can/can't do things.

sex is only one slice of this. this blog is about sex, so i post it here. but these issues are big in my life. need support in school, in work; i seem so functional to a stranger, but only because support needs are met.

support needs met = big privilege. i acknowledge this. not so easy for many people, who seem less functional to others, only because support needs not met.

anyway. conclusion:

neurotypicals/non-autistics: don't expect sex + relationships with autistics to be like sexy imagine posts on tumblr. can be sometimes, but often not.

autistics, even: don't expect sex + relationships with other autistics to be like sex + relationships for you.

low support needs autistics: you guys have a problem. (maybe technically i am you guys, don't really know, so maybe *we* have a problem.) some of you don't like when autism represented as mid-high support. don't like to think you're like us. not cool. either way stop speaking like *your* autism is *all* autism. if you have energy + time + emotional resource to do so, tell off other low support needs when they act like this.

high/mid support needs: i see you. you belong. you deserve healthy, good sex if you are adult. support needs =/= being unworthy/not well enough/not functional enough for relationship. possible to have relationships that work for you, allow for the kind of support you need, from other person/medical team/support system. don't mask to get through relationship. hurts you, you should be loved for who you are.

#autism #speech loss #autistic representation #nsft #neurosexy #only barks #gen

[whereareyouvera]

i'm working late 🎶 (obsessively organising my bookshelf at 1am) cause i'm a singer 🎶 (a bored neurosexy person who needs a project to hyperfixate on)

#someone PLEASE ASK ME TO EXPLAIN MY ORGANISATION SYSTEM #booklr #reading #girlhood #desiblr #hell is a teenage girl #girlblogging #espresso #desi academia #bookshelf #bookshelves #book tumblr #books and libraries #home library #adhd #neurodivergent #hyperfixation

[guiltyidealist]

"neurodifferent" "neurospecial" "neurounique" Neurosexy

#shitpost #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent

[twowivestwoknives]

If you’re ever wondering what it’s like to date me, Erin’s name in my phone has been:

Bearin

Bud Babe

Neurosexy

Sweetpea Cherub Darling Honeypot

and is currently Younger Hotter Keanu

#life and times #im gay and a mess #and thats what dating me is #a gay mess

[candiid-caniine]

not feeling super sexual today but I miss u all so.... here's a poll 💕

#pls feel free to discuss this w me #stimming as im writing this. stimming all the time lol #only barks #polls #neurosexy #gen

[candiid-caniine]

the saga of trigger anon <3

hope it's okay that i'm posting these all at once & responding to them in bulk--they're just all so fucking good and having them all in one place seemed right<3

dear lord, trigger anon (that's what i'm calling you), these are some fucking amazing ideas.

imagining having my brain scrambled to this degree is incredible. i'd like to expand on your ideas with a potential fix for people with physical disabilities, like myself, for whom counting steps is either not possible or would take a long time; in all honesty, i'm not up on my feet very often if i can help it, and use a wheelchair part-time! i fucking love your ideas, but this was the best way i could think of to add to them, so here goes:

say you have a wheelchair user as your sub/trancee. surely there's a way to either rig a smartwatch or an arduino setup of some sort to count revolutions of the wheels instead of steps. or perhaps distance traveled?

for someone who's bedbound...they sell these stupid-fancy water bottles that have counters on the side i think. using that as your metric, instead of basing it on physical movement, might be a good stand-in as well (no pun intended >.>)

someone with a CGM or heart rate monitor could also be conditioned with triggers aligning w/ their medical equipment, only inasmuch as it's safe to do so, obviously; don't really know how i feel about that idea--but i have neither of those pieces of medical equipment so i'm not as familiar.

how about someone who stims? (obv not a physical disability, i'm now going wild with ideas in other ways lol) give them a clicky thing to stim with, maybe a people counter or whatever...they could try to keep from stimming, but eventually they'll want to...

or if they're like me and have flappy hands, attach a step counter to their wrist so that it counts "steps" when they stim >:) most of my stims aren't object-assisted, so that's how it would have to be for me ahah.

i have Thoughts on what you sent re: the "idle game" trancee situation i posted. here are some more ideas based on that:

love the idea of follower participation--that you all could send in words that make me do things <3 i saw a post once about hypnotizing someone to be a little pornbot, like, every tumblr notification they got made them hornier and happier and dumber, so they'd crave to post a lot of things that got them engagement, and it's lived in my brain ever since lol.

the best way it could work, i think, is to first condition me to avoid clicking a link that says certain words, and then to put my triggers under that link so that my followers know them, but i don't :) a person DMs me the word "trumpet" or some shit and i don't understand why im instantly moaning out loud...

that's another way of tracking "points" that doesn't rely on steps: different note numbers on my own posts = different effects on my body. for extra fuckery, make it different not numbers on any Tumblr post, and condition me to scroll tumblr anytime i get bored (wouldn't take much lol)

gosh, fuck yes to "cheat codes." the right words, actions, or sights in combination = secret level unlock ahahaha. see someone clap their hands together, on the train while seated, *and* be above 600 steps/stims/whatever? for the next week, suddenly there's an erogenous zone on my middle finger that feels exactly like my clit when it rubs against anything.

eaten an egg that day, have edged at least 12 times, *and* got a follower to cum? for an hour, i drool uncontrollably...fuck i could go on forever.

last one, since i said "egg." seen a stray cat that day, have ruined once, *and* have a song stuck in my head? i'm suddenly convinced that i'm full of an alien's eggs, and incredibly embarrassed about it.

stacking triggers this way is super fun. i think sometimes it's hard for my owner to visualize how conditioning/hypno works for my brain--still figuring it out myself--but visualization (for me) is the best mode of conditioning. imagining myself like an idle game, where the character (me) is encountering different combinations of gameplay (idle triggers), helps me be more receptive to conditioning.

#t4t nsft #hypno k1nk #t4t hypn0sis #h/d #denial #asks #dizzy #tw: hypnosis #exh #neurosexy #cripping kink #....crinking???? #trigger anon #undescribed

[candiid-caniine]

slowly trying to get back to normal...i hit a bit of a depression slump this past week.

so, while i gather myself enough to get back to posting, i want to hear your thoughts on two food-for-thought questions:

do you have a mental illness (depression, anxiety, etc) or neurodivergence (autism, adhd, etc) that affects the way you experience and perform kink? tell me about it! (i might be writing a few posts about how mine affects me in the coming weeks!) and/or:

what's your controversial kink opinion? go on anon, tell us all about it ;)

#t4t nsft #only barks #send asks #neurosexy #health and kink

[candiid-caniine]

If I had to quantify it (the teaching aid thing) I'd probably file it under 'objectification.' You're being reduced to a tool, in the same way that subs are used as footrests/tables/etc. It's maybe a little more nebulously object-y, but I think it still counts?

Idk I'm autistic, and I haven't cum in a long time and I'm edging every day so my brain isn't really equipped for this x0 we should stop thinking and start edging for everyone instead before someone gets mad at us for using our brains too much.

(re: this ask!)

--

yesyes i love it <3

babble ahead

i'm autistic too and kink has been one of my special interests since i was like, 12? and i lovelovelove the labels, all the micro-kinks and niches of paraphilia that ppl have, i just love how varied human sexuality is and just ooughh! there's not a kink in the world that i probably haven't given serious thought to trying/wouldn't try in certain circumstances :)

ur right tho..,, we should edge instead of overthinking it ;0 save it for better ppl to figure out <3

#denial #asks #h/d #neurosexy

[candiid-caniine]

#bitch give me your RAADS-R score it's hotter

extremely true!!! im using this as dirty talk now

(re: tags on my latest shame tag post)

--

yessss! give me the weird pervy genderfucks who lead w their autism and the fucked up things they wanna do to me 💕 like babygyrl when I tell you my RAADS is actually alarming. when I tell you I have a spreadsheet about my snakes growth, meals, and shedding patterns. when I tell you that you make me stim,,,

I am trying to get in your pants, whatevers in there. trust. ✌

#neurosexy #asks #gen

[candiid-caniine]

You once made a post quite a while ago about neurodivergency and how that affects kink. And while I am about a month and a half late to the party, I thought I'd answer. Because we have thought a lot about this.

So I think the most obvious way for us is through DID, dissociative identity disorder. Each headmate has their own kinks and attitudes towards sex. My dom, who is also plural and also of the mindset that everything can and should be sexualized, has certainly done some thinking about this. Favorite has to be an idea they've had for a long time (but never gotten around to doing because of a bunch of reasons) about making me switch out just as I'm about to cum. And having me switch back as soon as they do so, so I have to clean up the mess. Another plurality-derived sexy moment came from looking at nudes that another headmate took. I just had a deeply rooted feeling that even though this pictures looked like me, they weren't me. They were somebody puppeting my body around. I had never had a kink for such a thing before, and I still don't really, but oh my god. Oh my god.

For me specifically (call me... Gold), autism and ADHD heavily inform my kinks. We have severe executive dysfunction issues that make it really difficult to do basically anything. Clear instructions are the cure to this for me, to the point where I will do literally anything a select list of friends ask. The happier they are with me, the happier I am. I'm sure how you can see how this leads to me humiliated, in immeasurable pain, and so horny I could cry. Being horny just amplifies this feeling, so obviously orgasm denial is my number 1 kink. I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it.

Now to expose the system's other host (we have two), who you can call Lily. She is the holder for our histrionic personality disorder. Basically she really really really really needs attention so the rest of us only kinda need it instead of just really needing it. If that makes any sense at all. But, of course, sex is a place to find attention. Which means she's big into being worshipped. Number 1 kink right there. And on the sub side she loves praises and insults alike. Often she'll be a terrible brat when around friends who are also kinky just so that she can be the center of attention.

And to bring it back to your blog's theme, I am both pleased and dismayed to discover that the way horniness builds overtime is mostly (if not entirely) emotional in nature. If I'm being denied for an extended period of time (like now, happy November), and a headmate of mine fronts and cums, I don't feel any less horny.

I think that's all worth mentioning. Hope you find this interesting!

- @golden-tumble

hi friend! wow, this ask was so detailed and so, so interesting to me! thank you so much for sending it!

i can honestly say that, while i've had several friends who are plural, i've always felt...i don't know, unsure of how etiquette works irt sex. of course, i know each person in the body is, well, a person, and i should simply communicate with the person and the system at large about boundaries and preferences, etc. but i've felt out of my depth in regular conversation with members of a system, so i think that informs some of my anxiety.

it's fascinating to me that Gold continues to experience the intensity of denial even if another headmate orgasms. i guess i never really thought about which parts of denial-brain are truly brain and which parts are body, so that's a question answered that i never really thought to ask!

i've heard from plural friends/plural-owned nsft blogs that some headmates also hold what we consider "paraphilias," or any sexual interest that other system members feel is taboo, so that the rest of the system is protected from the guilt or shame that said paraphilias might cause, which i've always found really fascinating too.

i'll answer your wonderful ask with a bit of sharing of my own re: autism and some other things:

i frequently experience speech loss with enough stimulation/deep enough in subspace. i actually find it highly erotic, rather than distressing. uh, i mean, it is somewhat distressing, but in an erotic way, and i trust my spouse deeply and they know how to communicate with me despite the speech loss!

i have visual synesthesia triggered by (some) orgasms. i have seen flowers, horses galloping, all kinds of colors, robots, etc. when i cum lol!

one of my special interests since my early teens has been BDSM, in case you somehow didn't pick up on that lmao!!

my sensory-seeking behaviors for pressure affect my preferred positions and activities. fucking *love* being crushed under another person's weight, grabbed roughly, having my face shoved into the bed...just,, and i actually have an aversion to light touches. tickling/caressing, brushing lightly, poking, all make me squirrely, so i need to be touched like you fucking mean it ;)

it's obvious from this blog, but when i *want* to be, i'm ridiculously easy to condition. even when i don't *know* i want to be. see my interaction with lady maria a few posts ago. see also that i accidentally started cumming on command, then accidentally stopped being able to cum without permission. (downside: i might be losing my ability to cum on command, since we don't let me cum much anymore ;-; unsure if it was bc i was just bone-tired last time they told me to, but future testing will confirm.)

weirdest one: ever since i was young, i've been a maladaptive daydreamer and had highly vivid imaginary friends. one might even consider them accidental tulpas (i know the term is contested but it's the most recognizable one and i don't know what else to call them, sorry!). in childhood these friends were just friends, but as i got older and started to experience arousal/sexual interests, my relationships with them have gotten...charged, at times. they're not concrete enough for me to "feel" touch from them, etc, but i've definitely had them watching me and egging me on and dirty-talking to me while i touch myself, and it's fucking hot <3

i consider my romantic orientation to be affected by both my physical disability and my neurodivergence. the degree, times, and forms of attraction that i experience to others fluctuates and shifts depending on what's going on with my body and what's going on with my mind. i don't remember the terms for this, but to a degree it affects my sexuality as well--not so much whom i'm attracted to sexually, that's static, but *how.*

thanks again so much for sharing! <333

#golden-tumble #asks #health and kink #neurosexy #denial #h/d #gen

[candiid-caniine]

i uhh, may have cum to the fact that you also have that stim after scrolling your blog for a bit, not sure what to make of it but oh well i love that stim its so good especially if you can get your chest going in the rhythm!! this might be a bit rambly oops

awwww!

(+1 point)

it's cute af that u came to having the same stim, and also so validating?? lik3 the fact that it's a stim of mine used to embarrass me so much but hearing other ppl have it/like it makes me uhh. I'm doing the stim rn in the bathroom at work lmaoooo

#denial #asks #h/d #ruff roulette #neurosexy