#no i will never stop bitching abt the sidekick thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sage-nebula · 2 years

Text

Something I wonder about is whether Metal Sonic / Overlord calling Tails "unworthy child" will ever be followed up on.

On the one hand, this happened so long ago that it would almost feel weird to bring it up now. On the other, it's such a cutting, damnig criticism that throwing it in and then doing nothing with it feels like there was a story that was intended but cut. It's hard to believe this was just put in there for no reason.

A huge part of Tails' backstory is that he has always looked up to, and wanted to be a hero like, Sonic. And he has felt at times that he falls short of this. His theme from the Adventure games touches on this: "I wanna be strong, I wanna be trusted [. . .] I wanna be cool, I also wanna be like him / but that's not something I can do so easily." His arc in the Adventure games is about him becoming a hero in his own way. He saves Station Square in SA1, he throws (mecha) hands with Eggman in solo showdowns multiple times in SA2, the final time coming right after he's made to believe Eggman just killed Sonic right in front of him. (Which is why his treatment in Forces is so infuriating, but! This is not the post for that.) Tails doesn't have Sonic's strengths, but that's okay, because he has his own strengths that Sonic doesn't have, and his Adventure theme touches on this, too. "There are things only I can do."

But although Tails does become a hero in his own right, and has so much more confidence in his strengths now than he used to, I think he could still struggle with the thought that he's not enough sometimes. As much as I fucking hate what Forces did to him, this arc in the comics still does directly follow Forces, wherein Sonic was captured and Tails couldn't do anything to help him. What does that say about him? How does that make him feel? Is he good enough? Does he deserve to be at Sonic's side?

The use of the word "unworthy" is a deliberate one. Metal isn't calling Tails stupid, or weak, or slow, or anything else that could be an easily dismissable, shallow insult. He's calling him unworthy. He's saying, maybe you are smart, fast, or strong. Maybe you can build computers and pilot airships and maybe even crash one into me. But you are still not good enough. You are still an unworthy child. It's such a deliberate precision strike against Tails' insecurities. Metal wasn't just lashing out. He somehow knew just how to hurt Tails and he stabbed into that squishy weak spot with extreme prejudice.

And then . . . nothing ever came of it.

Of course, literally 2 pages later we had Sonic hyping Tails up:

So maybe that's why. Metal called him unworthy, but Sonic called what he did amazing. So . . . problem solved? I wouldn't think so, but I'm also not on the creative team for these comics, so 🤷‍♀️ If I was, Tails wouldn't be referred to as a "sidekick" in his cast blurb while everyone else gets to be called a hero (or heroine), lol.

But anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this. It's just something I was thinking about as I try to sleep despite my illness making that difficult.

#miles tails prower #IDW sonic #no i will never stop bitching abt the sidekick thing #it bothers me SO much #he's just as much of a hero as the rest of them!! stop disrespecting my small son pls #it can't even be the age thing or the ''not a Team X leader'' thing #bc Cream is both younger than Tails & is in his spot on Team Rose #yet she gets called heroine while he's just sidekick #and i'm happy for her dgmw!!! Cream is great but like #why is Tails looked down upon. what did he do to not earn his hero title #after all he's accomplished on his own?? makes no sense #sth

208 notes · View notes

unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

Note

okay imagine kleinsen in it too, not to be Kleinsen Trash, but. just on the side. jared mentions to alana that evan messaged him and alana is just “oh what’s bitch boy got to say?” like. hm. they’ve obviously been able to heal, esp if they were like,, Good Friends in college, they’d definitely help each other. bUt back to kleinsen. dude. jared and evan start talking semi-regularly again, and jared and alana have a whole deep conversation when jared asks “do you think he really changed?” (1/????)

and cAn you imagine. alana still being v ery cautious of evan, her and jared getting in a little disagreement abt jared immediately (not immediately obviously but way sooner than alana) being buddy-buddy with evan. would jared tell alana about his long harbored feelings for evan that have gotten ever so complicated? i think tf yes, and her being one of the few people (if not only person) he tells just brings tears to my eyes. after a while, alana becomes the natural wing woman she is.. (2/3??)

in the ultimate act of mlm/wlw solidarity. no more kleinsen i just love this concept. both of them being the other’s first Gay Friend, having been in the closet for so long? they’re the friends they have needed for so long? and jared inviting alana to get absolutely shitfaced like he did with ev, and they just have a good time? the first few times alana doesn’t drink much but can you imagine her just going off the RAILS for once? i don’t wanna be a bother so i’m done, thank u for ur time 3/3

djfsj lmaooo honestly like the idea of jared and alana becoming better Friends Due To Mutual Hate is always kind of a fun one...because they deserve to be friends anyhow, especially since after the tcp debacle they’re both kind of more alone in ways than they were even at the start of the year. it’s kind of an obvious complication that jared knows that the entire thing is based on lies (which are in part his lies) and that alana originally got invested in the whole deal when believing it was all true and reacting earnestly to that. it’s interesting that even when alana is definitely suspecting the story was a lie, she’s still determined to continue with the project, probably already feeling her own sense of responsibility in promoting the story and sort of making this commitment to everyone who supports tcp even though she didn’t know it might not be true. and then it’s not like we don’t know she ever stops reflecting on the contradictions and discrepancies and suspecting or anything. and i don’t think jared would ever tell anybody about what he and evan did, cuz that’s pretty much both their secret and if one of them tells about their own involvement they’re going to be telling on the other as well, and even if he and alana were closer, realer friends vs him and evan being more estranged, just gonna keep that secret eternally

but they do at least have the mutual gfy-type experience of being involved in that mess and getting screwed over by evan lol...and yet that wouldn’t have to be the only reason they could enjoy each other’s company more, because they totally ought to be friends, js, and could be friends based on more than just that shared experience

for example absolutely mlm/wlw solidarity.....it’d be fantastic if they got to be each other’s first First Gay Friend and get to have someone who knows about them and support each other...it’s great to think about that happening in high school when probably they’re more closeted Or about them becoming friends moreso in college and coming out to each other then. and just generally being each others moral support in so many ways throughout the kind of everyday experience of college, so that the both of them can feel sure they’ve always got Someone to hang out with and back them up, which would be a beautiful change from how things were in high school when everyone was feeling so isolated and insecure in any connections

it’s a super super interesting idea that jared might actually want to ask alana about what SHE thinks about evan and the idea of being involved with him again, what with how jared had some form of friendship with evan for at least a decade whereas alana never really was exactly friends with evan outside tcp, and based on that jared should feel like he’s the one with the expertise, but like, he DID get burned by relying on his own judgment back in senior year, and between that experience of their friendship deteriorating and what evan did to him and how they haven’t talked in however long, it would be such a neat thing if he really did want to know how what alana thought despite (or because) of her having sort of more of that Outside Perspective of not having known evan that well ever and also not being in touch with him for however long. especially since jared probably does have lingering Feelings For Evan and it’s hard to know whether he’s being misguided by that or whether there’s a chance it’s still something more genuine than just being sentimentally wishful. and thus wanting to hear alana’s opinions on evan and the whole Situation and what her perspective is, as someone who was also hurt by evan and who knows jared

and like whether or not it looks like there’s a chance to get back in touch and develop a fresh relationship with evan, it would of course be wild if jared tells alana he has/had feelings for evan. it might be a little tricky telling the story without disclosing anything he can’t disclose about the whole thing with the tcp, but also it’s a fairly simple concept lol.....and it would sort of be a big deal, like, this whole relationship spanning over a decade and this crush spanning who knows how many years of that time, and probably how it was tied in to his own Gay Awakening and just this big secret being carried around for eons. but unlike the truth about tcp, this one’s just his own secret, and she’d probably be the first person he told about it. and like if they’re on / getting on that level of Trust, you Know it’s a genuinely solid relationship. and just having someone who you can talk to about that kind of personal intimidating stuff is a nice thing to know

honestly drunk alana probably just has a lot of fun but still in kind of typical-sober-alana ways, just ramped up a little lol. and probably jared is too easily Sad Drunk so that would be a helpful other sort of influence lol....like drunk alana just thinks a lot of things are funny and laughs a lot and i like @nothingunrealistic ‘s idea that alana enjoys karaoke so these things go together well. they can absolutely have a night out and get smashed and its surprisingly fun and then later on after they make it back to home base they can talk all about feelings and life lol

plus yes re: college make-up kleinsen, it would be reasonable for alana to be skeptical at first, not to mention protective if jared’s over here being one of her first Real Friends, and then it’s even possible that if it seemed like things were going decently, she might feel insecure b/c jared and evan have that way longer history between them and everything and maybe if evan also became a Real Friend of jared’s again, he wouldn’t be as interested in his friendship with her anymore (especially if they’d become Real Friends after the disaster with evan lol), but i think that wouldn’t have to be too much of a worry anyways b/c she wouldn’t exactly only let that fester but rather take these active steps to try to make sure she was staying close to jared, and frankly jared would probably want to hang on to her extra close anyways b/c it’s scary and confusing and he’s also not sure if it’s just going to be another disaster. but then of course it could all work out okay and as it becomes more obvious that jared’s still in love with him and possibly evan is in love with him too, alana would do her best to be Very Supportive in like, really practical ways lmao.....but she would actually really like, think it was awesome that she was getting to play the good friend who gets to be a part in this kind of event in her friends life? like, considering how dramatic it all COULD be, it’s actually not that dramatic, but it’s all a very emotional matter and like, seeing that she’s actually pretty good at this emotional support stuff and that she can be a part of it rather than it just being like, oh we’re friends but i can only be close to someone to a certain degree and once it gets to the deeper more serious stuff i’m not going to be wanted, or i’m going to mess it up, or i’m not going to understand, etc etc etc like worrying she might feel like she doesn’t fit in in her own relationship with someone lol..........and like she can never have the sort of ~real friendship~ where they can do things like talk late at night About Boys figuratively and literally.......but anyways turns out she can

jared in turn is like “i don’t know how to back you up when it comes to dating because i don’t know how to deal with people and i’ve only ever dealt with evan but you have my support nonetheless” and he’s more like her secret sidekick than anyone who’s about to successfully play any active role in Interacting With People but they’re both trying to figure out how to be themselves and be able to socialize so like. as long as they know they’ve got backup on their side in case of disaster or anything, that’s a lot better than thinking you’re on your own.

#kleinsen #deh #no yeah thanks anon it is not a bother #love the chance to talk about them #jared and alana Solidarity #Anonymous

18 notes · View notes

juliivn-blog · 6 years

Text

[ bill skarsgård, cismale, he/him, 29 ] BRAIN STEW by GREEN DAY? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of JULIAN NILSSON. maybe because they’re SELF-RELIANT but also CAVALIER. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since SEPTEMBER of 2018 in APARTMENT 203 and have 1 ROOMMATE. [ lainie, she/her, 21+, cst ]

hello bitches it me ( lainie ) back at it again !! this time bringing u the anti adrian and pls be wary bc there are a lot of sensitive topics down below ( tws for major drug use, drug addiction, death, grief, shitty parenting, neglect, abandonment?? kind of idk better safe than sorry ) also u can find a tl;dr at the bottom since it’s literally SO LONG

BACKGROUND

so bear with me bc his background info is kind of Long!! his mom and dad are from just outside of st louis, missouri. his mom came from a pretty wealthy family and she was just like tryna be ~rebellious in her young adult years by dating julian’s dad (who came from a super trashy family and had a Bad Boy Rep). when she was 19 and he was 22 she got pregnant ( with julian ) and her fam was like get rid of that baby or ur gone !! but they were “““madly in love””” and she was on her rebellious shit so they literally eloped to the city ( st louis ) and got an apartment together and had julian but never actually got married bc they were too cool ( read: irresponsible ) for that. ofc this ended up being rly miserable bc she was used to living the rich life and now her family had disowned her, and suddenly she was starting to realize this dude she had a kid with was kind of a deadbeat party boy with no interest in having a family, not to mention she started realizing like?? i don’t actually want a kid this is a lot of work?? so like julian’s childhood years were a lot of him having to learn to take care of himself and not having anyone to depend on most of the time. and that’s not to say they didn’t both care abt him on some level bc there were definitely times they paid attention to him and gave him a birthday party or two but for the most part he was on his own

his secret favorite memory is flying a kite with his dad when he was 4 but u would be more likely to win the lottery than get him talking abt that

fast forward 5 years and finally julian’s dad, now in his late 20s and getting antsy, peaces the fuck out to los angeles to live his best party boy life. baby julian is very upset bc even tho his dad doesnt pay a lot of attention to him he like idolizes him. julian’s mom is saltier than EVER about having to take care of a kid but she doesn’t wanna go to LA ( especially for this asshole she doesn’t even like anymore ) and her parents won’t have anything to do with her or her illegitimate child so the NEXT 5 years are a lot of moving around from shitty apartment to shitty apartment and job to job by themselves. his dad would now and then send weird postcards and letters and pictures and stuff from cali so he had like a vague idea of the fact that his dad was living his own life somewhere that looked super wild, and when he was 11 years old he sent a letter back asking if he could come live with him. his dad contacts his mom, there’s a bunch of fighting, but in the end julian did indeed get to go live with his dad in los angeles, mostly bc his mom just didn’t give a fuck anymore and was lowkey like…u know what fine take him i can have my life back

obviously his dad does not know how to be a dad !!! he kind of thought of julian as his little like…..sidekick like he just thought having this 11 year old kid around was hilarious. so julian went to LA and was living with his dad and his dad’s friends in a relatively nice apartment but like it’s always filled with people doing drugs and having sex and it’s just. not child friendly at all. so that’s how julian was introduced to weed at the ripe young age of 11!!! from there on out he was like a big time weed and cigarette smoker, was very early having sex and trying other drugs, and by the time he graduated high school he was already hardcore doing coke

so julian like kind of wanted to go to college bc some part of him did crave normalcy, but he was way too far up his own ass to get his shit together for that !! plus like….he didn’t rly have good role models. so his first year after high school instead of getting on a good path for his future he decided living his best life would include moving into an apartment with his cokehead best friend. it was around that time that julian met his first boyfriend. he was already totally aware he was bi, had slept with boys in high school, but this was the first time he rly fell in love with a guy. he was like……….head! over! heels! for this boy. julian met him at a club and he was like sort of soft and relatively innocent until they started dating and julian got him smoking weed and then snorting coke

this next part is very triggering so please read with caution !! when he was 23, julian tried heroin for the first time. for about 6 months it gradually got really bad, his life started spiraling, and his bf was like….becoming unable to deal with it, especially bc while julian was getting worse his bf was kind of trying to move in the opposite direction and get off the coke and get his life back together. there was a lot of fighting, but his bf kept not actually making the move to end things bc he loved julian and was just like hoping something would turn around. one night, however, in a moment of weakness, he let julian talk him into trying heroin with him. it was kind of an “i promise i’ll get clean if u try it with me this one time” thing. being in and out of consciousness and not really aware of what was going on, he didn’t notice that his bf was overdosing and he ended up dying simply bc the heroin was too much for his body and he stopped breathing. julian didn’t notice until the morning when he woke up, and obviously that was by far the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to him and left some deep ass emotional scars

so following this, he actually did check himself into rehab. he was there for 3 months, got completely clean, but he only managed to stay that way for two weeks before he was first snorting heroin again and then back to shooting up and selling drugs

it was about 2 yrs later when he was 26 that he met his next bf while he was doing a deal at some seedy bar outside of town. they quickly fell into a completely unanticipated relationship–notably, julian’s first since his boyfriend’s death. in spite of that trauma and feeling guilty even as he did it, he started introducing this boyfriend to drugs. in his mind, it was kind of a thing where he fell in love really fast and really hard out of nowhere and he saw this sad little thing with no place to go and drugs are the only thing he’s ever known himself, so it was very natural to be like “here try this it helps” and also naively convincing himself he’d never let what happened before happen again

so 3 years later they’re living together and completely broke, living mostly off the money julian makes selling drugs and whatever else they can scrape up, when his bf decides he wants to do a road trip across the country. julian’s very impulsive, doesn’t really give a shit about anything in LA anyway, and to top it off has a hard time saying no to him. SO a road trip it is !! they make it all the way across the country before finally using up the last of their money and realizing they don’t have enough to get back

they stopped in north carolina for a while while julian saved up enough cash for them to at least get somewhere they liked better, which is how they wound up in baltimore !!

here their jeep completely broke down and julian sold it so that the money from that plus the money he made selling drugs they could put toward a deposit on an apartment

it’s in their heads to get back to la eventually, but baltimore is kind of their ~scene so julian’s in no hurry. he’s selling drugs again but they use a lot of what he’s supposed to sell so......they’re not going anywhere any time soon anyway ytseugukhej

PERSONALITY

so now that his lengthy as fuck background is over with………julian is an extremely EXTREMELY dry sarcastic person. the guilt over his bf has made him a hell of a lot worse, like his sense of humor is so so much darker than it was before that happened, but he’s honestly just a rly sarcastic person to begin with. he has some softness inside especially for people he rly cares abt, but you will not catch julian being sentimental or taking literally anything seriously unless you’ve managed to seriously worm your way into his heart

he’s not like a GRUMP tho at all he just….doesn’t take things seriously. he’s literally the embodiment of every bart simpson meme

“whatever my dude” is his aesthetic

he’s very careful about his drug dealing, he won’t go around talking about it or anything, he does it all under the radar as much as he can and especially having done it for so long now and having experienced a lot of traumatic crap, he’s pretty good at what he does and he won’t fuck with people he doesn’t trust

even when it’s warm it’s not totally unlikely to see him in long sleeves bc he has really bad track marks all over his arms from shooting up so much, especially in the early days when he was really bad at it

he absolutely will not talk about his past and if anything even close to it comes up in conversation he will skate right over that so qUICK ur head will spin

i think that’s IT FOR NOW if u made it this far i commend ur effort and attention span. im gna list some plots n stuff below ( beyond the song connections ) and hit me uP for some angst bc ya girl is here for the drama as usual

CONNECTION IDEAS

u can find song connections HERE

any and all drug related things !! people who buy from him ( especially weed, he’s a lot more lenient about to whom he sells weed as opposed to other stuff ), people he introduces to drugs, friends he actually does drugs with

he’s very dry and enigmatic but he’s also quite social so seriously give me friends for him. he’s high a LOT but not always and he likes being out doing stuff

definitely somebody or somebodies who don’t trust him and his drug addict bart simpson vibe please please give me people who don’t like him

along that same vein it takes a lot to get julian worked up and in fight mode bc he prefers to just let things roll off his shoulders but it would def be fun to have someone who gets him to that point

also somebody who?? maybe thinks they can “fix” him and genuinely does their best to try and persuade him to change his life and that it’s not too late to turn everything around ( this is basically the song connection medicine by daughter )

if ur muse is randomly from st louis missouri????? hit me up with a past connection from way back in julian’s childhood

also someone he went to high school with in LA if they’re from LA. this person would probably not be surprised at the way julian turned out ystefygdjhs

AND TL;DR BECAUSE THIS IS SO LONG

a drug addict and dealer who learned to take care of himself from an early age because of neglectful parents. got a boyfriend addicted to drugs and lost him to an overdose when he was in his early twenties, went to rehab, relapsed, met another bf years later with whom he decided to road trip across the country and got stuck in baltimore. dry, sarcastic, kind of a douche, epitome of every bart simpson meme, walking tragedy.

#soundintro #wow @ how much i ramble

9 notes · View notes

leesungjongg · 6 years

Text

kdrama reviewww

So I finished watching The K2 and wanted to write a review on it... but im v tired so it might be short (watch as this becomes a multi-paragraph essay on how much i love ji changwook smh)

*spoilers ahead*

so let me start this off by saying i hate Yoojin so much, but i probably hate her sidekick that i don’t even know the name of? Chief Yoo?? that’s not her name tho, i have to look it up. i think Secretary Kim tbh it says her name is Dongmi but i’m sorry but i called her bitchy bob bc that’s literally all i could think of. her hair was a bob. and she was a bitch. she was worse than yoojin bc did all the dirty work for her.

anyways im p sure secretary kim was head over heels for Yoojin because she did everything she asked her to. minus getting her head cut off lmao. she just really annoyed me throughout the drama because she didn’t like how Yoojin loved Jeha and his amazing ability to literally never DIE like Jeha was half dead in so many episodes and then he fully recovers from it in the next episode. and then he has a cut on his cheek for another five episodes and then he’s like being beaten up and then he gets shot and im like can u guys stop

this is why the most memorable moments of a drama are the cute fluffy scenes bc everything else is like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BUT DON’T GET ME WRONG, i love this drama and honestly i’m really starting to like these action dramas. probably bc of ji changwook. but anyways moving on

back to Yoojin. i literally hated her guts. i hated the way she laughed, i hated the way she spoke to certain people i hated the way she made everyone believe things about her and who she was UNTIL THE VERY END omfg. i also thought her character was not only evil but also somewhat okay? like she was crazy, but idk. i don’t think she deserved to die in the end :L

Secretary Kim tho? man.... you tried to kill Jeha lmao nice try bitchy bob

ughuhfgsdnsks gotta wrap this up my apologies

Jeha - i love u bc ur a humanitarian and want everyone to live and u literally tried ur best, which is awesome but wow. no one like you exists irl. tragic :( he really did do his best tho and save everyone or save as many people as he could. he was even invincible himself like wtf who recovers from multiple gunshot wounds?? only Jeha

Anna - i love u and u deserved better. being locked up for most of her life, terrified of going outside and seeing the bright sun bc she gets triggered by flashes of light, like frick man. she had to escape so many times and she finally did, and it must’ve felt so nice.

also dang like Jeha literally beat up like 20 dudes at once like twice in the drama while bloody and stuff and like??? didn’t die? and Yoojin dies from one gunshot wound nice Yoojin

i mean Jeha almost died too, but Yoojin got the doctors and stuff... and healed his wound... but she was locked down in Cloud Nine... so nvm....

at the beginning when that Chief guy was like “WAIT i recognize this.... i trained this guy back when he was in the army, he can kill you all.” loved that dude too at the beginning but idk what happened towards the end.

ALSO OFMG: so Jeha wanted to kill Park kwan soo for murdering his former fiancee idk how to spell it and so yoojin was like ok what do u want me to do, and he was like ‘i want JSS bodyguards with me (dont wanna fight him by myself) AND i want Secretary Kim’s head in exchange for killing him” bc he knew she was trying to kill him before, and Yoojin was like boom, done. and Kim was like oh shiz and then she was like omfg ok and she gave orders to the team leader of JSS bodyguards saying that even if u dont kill the kwansoo guy, KILL jeha no matter what. and the team leader was like sigh damn it. anyways, they go into the operation and stuff and the team leader gets shot. jeha is with him, and he fights off as many pl as he can and comes to the team leader and is like yo are you okay, is everything ok, and the team leader is like mindblown bc he was given orders to kill this guy who was making sure he was okay.

so anyways, he screamsin his face that he needs to go kill the candidate bc if he doesn’t they all die so Jeha is like GOD and he runs after the dude etc etc. anyways. Jeha’s always been rude to the team leader by speaking informally to him and that’s always annoyed the team leader but at that point he was like bruh this guy... too good for this world. then idk what happens but i think they all go out to drink and stuff and when Jeha and the JSS team bring Anna back home, Jeha refers to the team leader as Hyung and HE GOES ALL SOFT AND CUTE AND IM LIKE :’)))))))))))))))))))))) THIS IS WHAT DREAAAAMS ARE MADE OF i love that guy so much, he LITERALLY melted and gave Jeha a big hug LIKE SAME BRO SAME T___________________T I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHHH

so anyways, instead of this turning out to be a multiparagraph essay of me writing abt how much i love ji changwook (which, lbr, will happen one day) it turned into an essay about how much i love that team leader and his soft love for jeha.

overall, a great drama, 10/10 because i love ji changwook and that team leader guy. but also i hate yoojin and her secretary who would literally die for her. also se joon - anna’s dad? man i can’t believe this. u ignored ur daughter for so long just to get the presidency so u could be freed from yoojin’s clutches, but ended up saving your daughter by bringing the bomb into the glass room with yoojin the witch herself. and yoojin didn’t even kill anna’s mom. smh

so tragic. but yes 10/10 would reccommend. idk if i would rewatch it tho. maybe i would bc of changwook but besides that? no. also secretary kim is that one person who stirs up unnecessary drama in the gc like stfu omfg

#dramas #personal #k2 #reviews #im tired TT gnite

2 notes · View notes

eludum-a · 6 years

Text

oh boy is it time 2 talk abt despair chi/aki again?? bc here we go!! (and a lot of these r based on my Mains for each character n her interactions w them)

basically. jun/ko CANNOT STAND chi/aki. like at all. she’s stubborn, she’s too Good, she’s BORING... but still, in my despair verse, she tries to convert her anyway. and in doing so, she locks her up n throws away the key, leaving a physically, emotionally, and mentally tormented chi/aki whos desperate to please her... for a while

see, jun/ko wasnt rly thorough w her despair conditioning of chi/aki bc it was taking so long, she rly cant stand her, and she’s notorious for getting bored of things. so she moved on. she put away the actual despair conditioning aspect of it and went for just plain torture, probably around halfway thru, and then she died with nobody other than izu/ru (who doesnt rly. care that much) knowing she’s even alive or where she is

so she gets out of her hole in towa city eventually, dicks around w ko and the demon hunting game for a bit, and when he leaves with monaka (who she cant stand, partially for jealousy reasons) shes like. welp!! time to go home.

n she does. but the kicker is, probably that entire time in towa city she was never directly involved in anyones death. she let the monokumas handle it. then she goes home and gets in a fight w her mom, who kinda sees how twisted she’s become, and she tries to lock her in her room. they get in a Physical Altercation and chi/aki. stabs her to death.

and even though shes reeling and actually horrified by what shes done and she probably throws up, she thinks hm!! maybe this is a way to be worthy of junko-chan, by reveling in this despair!! so she burns her house down (almost catches herself on fire in the process) and proceeds to take more active part in. u kno. tormenting ppl n stuff

and as she’s doing this, she grows more and more unaffected by the process... starts seeing ppl as npcs. u kno, like in a game. she starts to revel in the chaos n destruction just for the sake of it, NOT for the sake of despair. after a while she completely loses that aspect of her own corruption. she stops caring about despair and is just going full grand theft auto sandbox world style on everybody bc she no longer actually views them as people

granted, her mental and physical health are also in the pits during this. she doesnt take care of herself AT ALL. but it’s less deliberate “i must inflict despair upon myself for my beloved junko-chan” and more just. lol who cares what happens to me im just gonna run myself into the ground doing what i wanna do bc i’ve never felt free enough to do it before

except. she doesnt think of herself as the “protagonist” of this game. she might not view herself as an npc, but if anybodys the protagonist, its iz/uru. she’d follow him to the ends of the earth even if she complains abt it all the time. she views herself more as an (annoying, stupid, incompetent) sidekick and even tho she never says it she feels hashtag blessed that he puts up with her for any amount of time and grows attached to him as a person AND as like. a weird kind of savior sort of person. she would do anything for him in reality so long as it means he’ll stay with her. a n y t h i n g (even if she might bitch abt it while doing it)

these feelings dont rly go away post despair. she’s not nearly as violent, and she takes better care of herself most of the time, but she’s still absolutely in the frame of mind of “what i want doesnt matter. what matters is that my friends are happy. i will do literally anything for them, including die, if it comes to that”.

#[welcome to my christian minecraft server // ooc]#[life's a game and i'm gonna break it // despair]#theres uh. a lot of stuff i might need to tag here #so heres a general content warning #that should be expected w all despair stuff #just. be wary i guess if ur a lil more sensitive to stuff that happens w despair verses?

2 notes · View notes

juliivn-blog · 6 years

Text

* bill skarsgård, age 27, he/him | oh, them? that’s julian nilsson. they’ve lived in carina bay for, like, one week. last time i spoke to them they were a drug dealer, and if i remember correctly, they’re an aries. seeing them around always makes me think of track marks hidden beneath a long-sleeved shirt, the watery reflection of a neon sign in a motel parking lot, the eerie quiet of 5am after a sleepless night. ( lainie, 24, cst, she/her )

hello bitches it me ur local bag of literal garbage ( lainie ) back at it again !! this time bringing u the anti adrian and pls be wary bc there are a lot of sensitive topics down below ( tws for major drug use, drug addiction, death, grief, shitty parenting, neglect, abandonment?? kind of idk better safe than sorry )

so bear with me bc his background info is kind of Long!! his mom and dad are from just outside of st louis, missouri. his mom came from a pretty wealthy family and she was just like tryna be ~rebellious in her young adult years by dating julian’s dad (who came from a super trashy family and had a Bad Boy Rep). when she was 19 and he was 22 she got pregnant ( with julian ) and her fam was like lol get rid of that baby or ur gone !! but they were “““madly in love””” and she was on her rebellious shit so they literally eloped to the city ( st louis ) and got an apartment together and had julian but never actually got married bc they were too cool ( read: irresponsible ) for that. ofc this ended up being rly miserable bc she was used to living the rich life and now her family had disowned her, and suddenly she was starting to realize this dude she had a kid with was kind of a deadbeat party boy with no interest in having a family, not to mention she started realizing like?? i don’t actually want a kid this is a lot of work?? so like julian’s childhood years were a lot of him having to learn to take care of himself and not having anyone to depend on most of the time. and that’s not to say they didn’t both care abt him on some level bc there were definitely times they paid attention to him and gave him a birthday party or two but for the most part he was on his own

fast forward 5 years and finally julian’s dad, now in his late 20s and getting antsy, peaces the fuck out to los angeles to live his best party boy life. baby julian is very upset bc even tho his dad doesnt pay a lot of attention to him he like idolizes him. julian’s mom is saltier than EVER about having to take care of a kid but she doesn’t wanna go to LA ( especially for this asshole she doesn’t even like anymore ) and her parents won’t have anything to do with her or her illegitimate child so the NEXT 5 years are a lot of moving around from shitty apartment to shitty apartment and job to job by themselves. his dad would now and then send weird postcards and stuff from cali so he had like a vague idea of the fact that his dad was living his own life somewhere that looked super wild, and when he was 11 years old he managed to send a letter back asking if he could come live with him. his dad contacts his mom, there’s a bunch of fighting, but in the end julian did indeed get to go live with his dad in los angeles, mostly bc his mom just didn’t give a fuck anymore and was lowkey like…u know what fine take him i can have my life back

so julian like kind of wanted to go to college bc some part of him did crave normalcy, but he was way too far up his own ass to get his shit together for that !! plus like....he didn’t rly have good role models. so his first year after high school instead of getting on a good path for his future he decided living his best life would include moving into an apartment with his cokehead best friend. it was around that time that julian met his first boyfriend. he was already totally aware he was bi, had slept with boys in high school, but this was the first time he rly fell in love with a guy. he was like……….head! over! heels! for this boy. julian met him at a club and he was like sort of soft and relatively innocent until they started dating and julian got him smoking weed and then snorting coke

this next part is very triggering so please read with caution !! when he was 21, julian tried heroin for the first time. for about 6 months it gradually got really bad, his life started spiraling, and his bf was like….becoming unable to deal with it, especially bc while julian was getting worse his bf was kind of trying to move in the opposite direction and get off the coke and get his life back together. there was a lot of fighting, but his bf kept not actually making the move to end things bc he loved julian and was just like hoping something would turn around. one night, however, in a moment of weakness, he let julian talk him into trying heroin with him. it was kind of a “i promise i’ll get clean if u try it with me this one time” thing. being in and out of consciousness and not really aware of what was going on, he didn’t notice that his bf was overdosing and he ended up dying simply bc the heroin was too much for his body and he stopped breathing. julian didn’t notice until the morning when he woke up, and obviously that was by far the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to him and left some deep ass emotional scars

it was about a year later when he was 23 that he met kit while he was doing a deal at some seedy bar outside of town. they quickly fell into a completely unanticipated relationship--notably, julian’s first since his boyfriend’s death. in spite of that trauma and feeling guilty even as he did it, he started introducing kit to drugs. in his mind, it was kind of a thing where he fell in love really fast and really hard out of nowhere and he saw this sad little thing with no place to go and drugs are the only thing he’s ever known himself, so it was very natural to be like “here try this it helps” and also naively convincing himself he’d never let what happened before happen again

so four years later they’re living together and completely broke, living mostly off the money julian makes selling drugs and whatever else they can scrape up, when kit decides he wants to do a road trip across the country. julian’s very impulsive, doesn’t really give a shit about anything in LA anyway, and to top it off has a hard time saying no to kit. SO a road trip it is !! they make it all the way across the country before finally using up the last of their money and realizing they don’t have enough to get back

which is how he wound up in carina bay! they’re currently living out of julian’s car with a little makeshift bed in the back and he’s selling drugs again to try and save up enough so they can get home, but they use most of what he’s supposed to sell so it’s.......not going very well euyagafdhs

so now that his lengthy as fuck background is over with………julian is an extremely EXTREMELY dry sarcastic person. the guilt over his bf has made him wayyyyyyyy worse, like his sense of humor is so so much darker than it was before that happened, but he’s honestly just a rly sarcastic person to begin with. he has some softness inside especially for people he rly cares abt, but you will not catch julian being sentimental or taking literally anything seriously unless you’ve managed to seriously worm your way into his heart

he’s not like a GRUMP tho at all he just....doesn’t take things seriously. he’s literally the embodiment of every bart simpson meme

"whatever my dude” is his aesthetic

he absolutely will not talk about his past and if anything even close to it comes up in conversation he will skate right over that so qUICK ur head will spin

i think that’s IT FOR NOW if u made it this far i commend ur effort and attention span. im gna list some plots n stuff below and hit me uP for some angst bc ya girl is here for the drama as usual

CONNECTION IDEAS

any and all drug related things !! people who buy from him (especially weed, he’s a lot more lenient about to whom he sells weed as opposed to other stuff), people he introduces to drugs, friends he actually does drugs with

he’s very dry and enigmatic but he’s also quite social so seriously give me friends for him. he’s high a LOT but not always and he likes being out doing stuff

definitely somebody or somebodies who don’t trust him and his drug addict bart simpson vibe please please give me people who don’t like him

also somebody who?? maybe thinks they can “fix” him and genuinely does their best to try and persuade him to change his life and that it’s not too late to turn everything around

if ur muse is randomly from st louis missouri????? hit me up with a past connection from way back in julian’s childhood

also someone he went to high school with in LA if they’re from LA. this person would probably not be surprised at the way julian turned out ystefygdjhs

#carinaintro #drugs tw #death tw #grief tw #there are more extensive tws under the cut #yuergfajkwehs #god this is long im so #sorry

8 notes · View notes