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loadedmarchpdf · 7 months

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Hello everyone, it's been a while. Recently I've returned to the Merlin fandom because I saw some gifset of them and The Feels, as we used to say back in the day (do we still say that now?), came back in a sudden and mad rush. I've been revisiting some old merthur fics (and also trying to find some new ones too) when I realised that I ought to have a fresh copy of dear old Loaded March extracted straight from AO3 itself and save them all, because you never know these days. And then while I was doing that, I realised that I couldn't find my compilation in my fic library! The very thing that I had spent much a time putting together, I do not know where it is?? And so I had to make my way back here to find the links where I had uploaded the compilations hahaha

Anyhow. I'm glad my uploads are still intact and that mediafire is still a functional site (you really never know these days). I hope I might be able to find the original and alarmingly big word document again some day... It's probably in some drive I hope...

I'm not sure if anyone still checks these tags or still follows this blog. If you see this then I think it's lovely that this has reached you again after so many years and I hope you are doing well!

P.S. As of today, the PDF has 1125 downloads while the EPUB has close to 800. Apparently in March 2018 they were at 332 and 225 respectively. It blows my mind that so many people checked them out. Thank you for the lovely support and I hope the compilations have been of service to you! ETA: Since I haven't been here a long while, I also decided to go and look at tags on the reblogs of the compilation post that I've missed... You are all so very lovely, thank you for the kind words :')

P.P.S. In case you are still wondering what I'm talking about: I had in the past made a compilation of all 16 parts (and I am now remembering, also one of the extras!) of Loaded March into a single document, available in both PDF and EPUB formats, which are both available for download :] It's the pinned post in my tumblr, or you can access it here.

#lm hive mind #loaded march #bbc merlin #also i suddenly remembered i was intensely shipping kay and will in it #but i think it was all very open to interpretation in the end wasn't it?? shakes fist at footloose #i think i need to reread loaded march again; it has been so many years #that word count though....#also does anyone know what Footloose has been up to these days (years) i suppose they are busy working on original stories?#i've also just learnt of the LM discord ooohhh

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thedawningofthehour · 6 months

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ahhhh! i'm nervous about the end of book 2, do you think you'll make it to 40 chapters in the end?

by the way, i don't forget that you promised a battle between Draxum and the fam, i really hope he gets his ass kicked.

*squeeze this every time you want to see Draxum get his ass kicked*

. me:

also me latelly:

...it may be 41.

I'm gonna really try to put the next two chapters into two chapters. Everything is plotted out, I just...don't know if it'll be too much by the time I'm done writing it out. And just some of the vibes for a few scenes, it might flow better for them to be in separate chapters.

But we'll see. Two or three, there shouldn't be much of a wait between them hopefully.

Also, where you getting half a year? I've been trying really hard to avoid hinting how long it's going to be in-fic. I think the most I've done is mention that the Book 2 finale was supposed to take place in August, and it's currently late June/July so it's still pretty close.

#it'll be fine #but for real i think it'll be surprising in a very satisfying way #i want to get it to 40 because 41 is just annoyingly close to 42 #actually in my original plan it was supposed to be wrapping up around now #obviously more stuff has been added since but it all felt very crowded #galois can only be kidnapped so many times in a short period of time before he suffers a nervous breakdown #doth asks

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brutal-out-here · 4 months

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So from what I’m understanding today there’s been yet another instance where Taylor/her team has said she was straight/not part of the community and that speculating these things is bad/she doesn’t like it and yet there’s still tons of people who choose to believe making blogs dedicated to decoding every second of her life to make connections to whatever sexuality they want her to have is a good thing?

#raineyrambles #I will forever be confused by this #why dedicate so much time deciding her life by finding where she sending signals that she isn’t straight #and saying she isn’t comfortable to come out when what you’re doing is considered outing?#genuine question here #as someone who was technically outed I have a very strong stance against this which is why I find things like this harmful #but also I truly doubt Taylor and whoever some say she’s secretly with purposely wear a certain color #of shirt in the same week means that they’re sending signals that they’re together #I don’t see why anyone would put that much effort in their every movement to connect with whoever they’re supposed to be with #like I fully support connecting her lyrics to someone’s sapphic experiences #music is supposed to be where you can make connections to your own life #but just because you connect them to one thing doesn’t mean she connects them to the same thing #there’s many songs I interpret to my life differently than what the artist has said they originally wrote it about #anyway I’m not talking here to fight- just sharing my thoughts #I’ll get off my soapbox for those who’ve made it this far #taylor swift

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ink-asunder · 2 months

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The post that goes "maybe it seems pretentious to you because you only watch bluey," but this time including the inverse "maybe you only think bluey is 'deep and meaningful for a kids show' because it's the only kids show you watch."

#im not even referring to steven universe or avatar or wahtever. i mean actual preschool baby shows #the way the bear in the big blue house was a unique safe haven for autistic kids and created Such a healing atmosphere for so many youths.#the way seasame street has been built consciously and intentionally to provide education and emotional support for underprivileged kids #(or hell. even normal privileged kids that just aren't old enough for school yet.)#most ppl dont even know bluey was originally pitched as a show for adults!!#it was pitched as something families could watch together but it was primarily a learning tool to teach good parenting skills.#and it still has that! its very supportive and validating of its adult audience because Thats Who It Was Supposed To Be For.#so many preschool shows are actually consciously made not only to limit imitable behavior but also to actively psychologically enrich kids #and ppl who watch bluey never give other shows the credit ffs

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teleportationmagic · 1 year

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Reverse Batgirls AU.

Stephanie Brown starts out young and angry, wanting to put her father in prison. That doesn't change - but what does, is the name she picks up to do it. After all, Batman is... untouchable, he's justice he's power - what more can she want as a vigilante?

A whole lot, as it turns out. But still, she wears the name with pride, patrolling with Robin (Damian!) and Cassandra, making friends with the latter. Signal's farther afield, away in Bludhaven - still, he drops by now and again to play games of rooftop tag.

Cassandra has been doing work as a vigilante in all but name for a few years now. She ping pongs around - saving enough lives to have earned herself a reputation. A reputation strong enough to have made its way into circles that knew her father. These are the people who pick her name for her, seeing her father's legacy - Orphan is not a name she chooses. But after she settles in Gotham, after Bruce comes to her one day, telling her the meaning - she cannot bring herself to call it false.

Damian still ends up leaving for bigger things. A position is open, and Bruce doesn't think it needs filling - but Stephanie has lost one teacher, and for all that Cassandra is good at violence she is not very good at teaching it. He takes her under his wing, and eventually passes down a mantle.

Steph has her own mantle to pass down. "I don't know that I can tell you who you are - who your family is. But still - I don't think me or Bruce or Damian or anyone considers you an Orphan, not anymore. Batgirl isn't - she's not as good as Orphan is. But I wanted to give her to you anyways."

Cassandra takes the purple suit with a gentle sort of consideration. It's not the suit she wears, three weeks later - but the Bat is there, golden against the dark black. Bruce smiles when she steps out of the Batcave, shrouded in darkness except for the sign of her ideals, their ideals. Robin and Batgirl and Batman fly again, capes trailing through the darkness.

Steph gets to be Robin for a while - gets to carve out her own reputation. Her and Damian fight, and the reconcile, and fight again. It takes her a little bit longer to figure out why he's so angry, takes him a little longer to realize why she wants it so bad.

It helps, that Stephanie is two years older than Cassandra, but still its difficult for them to fight together. She still perceives her own presence as superfluous, and Cassandra still thinks it is her job to take bullets so no one else has to. They have a chat, under a dark alcove when Stephanie is bandaging her wounds, about pain, and the taking thereof. About balance. About how Robin was a superhero too.

Cassandra leaves Gotham, on occasion - she partners with Signal, Katana, and Black Lightning. She meets her mother there, for the first time. She won't know it, not until later, but they clash, fists against metal. This is the first time she dies, and she comes back to life with the worried eyes of her teammates.

She still gets shot. There's no gang war, but there is Roman Sionis with greedy hands and eyes, and five days followed by two clicks, two bangs. The hospital tells her she's lucky to still be standing. The word luck curls on her tongue, like something bitter.

Cassandra still tears through the city looking for her. But when she finds her, when she recovers, something settles into Stephane's skin - something bitter and angry. Cassandra can see it, even when she pretends at lightness, the jealousy and rage. Stephanie knows she sees it. This does not make things better.

Bruce takes the injury... badly. His hold tightens on all four of them. Damian and Steph take it with no small amount of anger - Bruce is not allowed in the Brown family home and Damian leaves for the Titans, again. Cassandra follows Duke to Bludhaven, pulling on his operations to set up her own. The end result is Duke's home being slowly invaded by a girl who becomes his sister.

This does not help Bruce - with no one to keep him steady, he spirals, paranoia whispering into one ear and rage into another. Tim still comes out of the woodwork, with memories of the way a dark haired kid twisted out of the hold of a particularly pushy partyguest (followed by a silent swordfight through a different hallway) inspiring a half-decades worth of trying to scratch an itch, before coming across the perfect answer.

Cassandra still leaves for answers. Bit by bit, it becomes unignorable - Shiva is her mother, undoubtedly. She limps back to Duke's home to share it between shaking sobs, and stories about all the dead men she left in the snow. He tells her in return about his father - biological and not. And he's angry on her behalf, she can see that - but still, there is warmth for her here. There is always warmth for her here. Even when she leaves burn marks on the ceiling and takes up the bathroom for hours at a time, even on those rare days where he seems so tired and she cannot do anything right - still, she has a place here. Their twin gold and black suits become fixtures of the Bludhaven skylines.

It's across the dinner table that Steph realizes she might be able to get back into the game. Her father is loud, boisterous, after leaving prison. He doesn't think she can do anything about it.

She can.

After the first time, its tempting to try a second, third. Rolling into bars with a licence that gives her a few more years, chatting up men who have lips too loose. Other times, she calls up wives, asks about schedules for a date nights or when their kids will need daycare, mapping out plans and places. In the beginning she sent these files to the GCPD, for all the good they'd do. Later, she gives them to Damian, a stack of neatly arranged notes and observations that he pours through with all the seriousness of a monk. There's something important in the first time she calls up Cass and asks her to follow up on a lead. She comes by her home later, with a hello and a fruit tart.

When she asks her what she calls herself in the field, Stephanie shrugs. She keeps a lot of different names - her own amongst them.

"The GCPD asked." Cassandra had said, one cold night. "You - you do the same thing now. That we did before. Differently, not like Robin, but still like one of us." There's a heavy pause that lingers for a moment, dull and heaving. "You should have a name."

And it might be silly, might be stupid, but Steph's been doing this long enough and seen enough plans fall apart because of the way that small details, when brought into the light, can bring a whole structure tumbling down. Spoiler is born, with a purple mask over dark fabric. It's a ceremonial thing, she'll admit, but it's the principal of the matter yanno?

Part 2 (ft. Babs) coming later. This is very much long enough.

Ages:

Duke: He starts vigilanting at 16, but as he hits his 19-20s he wants to put a little bit more distance between himself and Bruce - wants to prove himself as an individual who can bring to bear his own stregnths. His mother recovers, but his dad never really does - there's a heavy sense of grief, associating with him. They love his father, together, but while his mother does her own mourning he can't help but think it's premature. He's 20 when Batgirl comes around, and 23 when he agrees, tentatively, to work with Bruce on the outsiders.

Damian: Starts at 12, and is 16 once Batgirl starts. He's much more secure in his place, ironically, but Batman and Robin is a much lonlier job than it is in a sideways reality. Duke brings some light to the job, but once he starts trying to make his own way, things grow... quiet. And while the Titans are together for the purpose of combining their shared competencies for the sake of missions, Garth, he cannot deny that his time with them eases something in him that he didn't know was aching. After he turns 18 - after it seems all his time with Robin was actually Bruce's, after years of chafing under a heavy-handing authority he's not certain he still respects, he finally decides to create something new. Nightwing is born, from a Kryptonian legend, and he leaves Robin behind to become this new thing.

Steph starts Batgirl at twelve, and is Robin halfway through fourteen. She keeps it for two years, before it falls apart at 16. Spoiler is born a year later, when she's seventeen and looks nonthreatening, but can be the exact opposite.

Cass: Starts doing vigilante work... very young. By the time she's caught up with the Bats, she's ten and experienced, and its only a few more months before Steph joins them. She takes up Batgirl at twelve, and keeps it all the way through to twenty-one, when it finally comes time to pass it down again, to evolve into something new.

#stephanie brown #cassandra cain #batfamily #reverse robins #Damian Wayne #duke thomas #except its batgirls #I did consider Steph getting Jason's life-changing Joker encounter instead of Babs's #but for a Batgirls swap it didn't feel right #that is an AU of this AU though - Barbara and Cassandra having this mantle that feels incredibly stained through the actions #of its founder #Another small detail - does Tim still do the weird victim-blamey stuff that he did with Jason in this timeline?#because with Steph alive and very bitter. That it going to come across much differently #Steph has so many complicated feelings about being replaced. Damian has feelings about Steph having feelings about being replaced #Also I want less people to make Oracle!Steph a tech person. This girlie does not have the patience for that #And medical so often feels... perfunctory. Like you think that's just where she's supposed to go.#Did not expect Duke and Cass to be as close as they ended up being but I guess that just be how it shakes out sometimes #original posts

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kirbyddd · 8 months

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for a long while when I'd visit my relatives on the chesapeake for a brief respite from the hells of home life, there was an odd beat-up little cardboard box sitting amid the plastic-cased ds games in the gamestop I'd always visit (rarely to actually get anything)

finally, one time before the journey back to hell, i actually had a scattering of bills in my pocket. after looking around at the shelves of shovelware (i didnt have enough for any of the proper titles like mario or pokemon), i finally decided to bring the story to a close and give the ragged little box a home

it was Sola-to-Robo, one of the rarest ds games ever published, possibly the most technically advanced engine ever devised on the system, and among the most unique and emotional experiences I'd ever encountered in a video game (which is saying something considering I'd already all but lost emotion by that point)

i barely remember it anymore, but for the time it became my favorite standalone game of all time (although it technically is part of a series, succeeding the PS1's equally obscure Tail Concerto)

I still dream of returning to it and seeing just how well it holds up from a more experienced point of view

the one thing i do remember is that it had and still has by far the most beautiful and powerful opening song of any game ive ever encountered, which is saying something considering the hundreds out there! it's up there with Atelier Meruru's Cadena

also the fact that when you beat the game, after the credits it goes "chapter 2" and there's an entire sequel within the game. altogether both parts are probably not longer than any other rpg, but on the original ds where full 3d action rpgs were resource intensive and typically limited in scope, it was mindblowing

also it apparently had like undefeatable copy-protection and to this day still requires a modified rom to emulate or even run on original hardware without a card?

anyways.... remarkable game. i was shocked to find that it's one of the most sought after titles on the system. in rarities ive personally enountered it's second probably only to Retro Game Challenge, which I encountered at regular price once in the late 2010s but didnt have the money for at the time... that's my "one that got away"

#for me it's also up there with klonoa and a handful of old sonic titles for having anthro designs that are actually great instead of weird #i always start thinking anthro designs are just a lost cause but then i remember like solatorobo and redwall and beatrix potter and am like #“no theres tons of room for animal folk in art it's just that modern 'furryism' is usually so soulless and based on corporate mascot styles #anyways..... my short recollection of a remarkable game #hotel dusk and last window are very rare too but theyre so obscure their prices aren't actually that high #tingle's rosy rupeeland wasnt expensive either back in the day but i bet it's gone way up now. wish i got it back then #mario 3-on-3 is another one that's insanely rare but absolutely no one remembers or cares about it lmao #i found it at a gamestop in ass-nowhere shenandoah in 2020 long after the stores were supposed to have done away with their ds collections #anyways..... original ds is a favorite system of mine... not actually for nostalgia reasons (i barely experience any anymore)#but for the sheer variety and uniqueness of titles to be discovered on it... maybe the most of any platform ever #and the fact that many of them had SSS-tier stylistic direction #ive yet to find another title that even comes close to the blue-skies beauty of bomberman land ds #OG ds was definitely a blue-skies system

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0ann3 · 2 months

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( 〃．．) First time doing a pure text post, but I'm considering drawing twst rarepairs for the whole month of April like a challenge AKSJHAKSJAHS

I was supposed to do it during February, but I forgot to do it until around 2nd week and I really didn't properly plan this out, so I'm posting this today so I wouldn't forget again and to motivate myself LMAO

If anyone reading this does know some interesting twst rarepair, do feel free to share, so I can consider and perhaps add them to the list heheheh, but either way, I'm going to read some more vignette or do a roulette to see which ones gonna stick in my mind as so far it's just:

Azul x Deuce Malleus x Jade Malleus x Trey Vil x Trey Riddle x Silver (?) Silver x Ruggie (?)

(◕ ◕) If I can't think of any more ships until the near end of March, I'll just stick with what I have listed

#ramblings #Not adding the supposed tags bcs I'm very shy and I'm mainly posting this just so I can look back and remember I was supposed to do this lo #I think my original thought for this was I'm going to draw a random ship per day for twst #But went 'that's too many ships' the next day LAKSJAKSJHALK #Hopefully the ships I'll be thinking of are rarepair though #I'm relying on how often I saw them in AO3 #but the ones with (?) on the end are ones I'm still thinking about how their dynamic could work #I just remember seeing them interact before and thinking 'KAJSHAKLS'#which is not the best reference for their dynamic #And with that #I'll try working on the actual drawing prompts in between breaks #then have it up around last week of march #If this is an actual bad idea though #I'm very sorry and I'll def delete it immediately #Aaaaaand I think that should be all (¯︶¯)#Giving myself many pats for finally remembering and posting this

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cuteniaarts · 2 months

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First posted piece of 2024 featuring Ghazan’s older sister Haya, take 2!!

#a.k.a the og version was bothering me so I completely redrew her eyes and added more shadows to make her facial features more pronounced #gonna just copy over my og tags bc I can’t be bothered to come up with new ones #my art #artists on tumblr #the legend of korra #original character #seeds of the red lotus #sotrl haya #god... like on one hand yes. she's an awful person. she abused her brother's kids for 16 years #left lasting mental and emotional scars on them to the point that even years after they last see her they're still recovering #even after all the bruises have healed her voice is still in their heads. fear of her still dictates so many of their actions #someone like her doesn't deserve any amount of sympathy. nor after everything she's done #but on the other... the person who did all that is haya in her 30s and 40s. here she's just 14 #she just had her whole world shattered in a matter of weeks. she's left with nothing and no one but an empty house and her 5yo brother #she has no one to turn to. no shoulder to cry on. apart from losing her parents she had to quit school and stop hanging out with her friend #sh ehad to abandon any hobbies she might have had. I imagine she was quite like suiren and midori used to be. curious and intelligent #and very keen on trying new things. she had to leave all that behind to work day and night while earning only barely enough to scrape by on #just enough for them to survive. to keep the house. to be clothed and fed. there was no room for treats or luxuries of any kind #how many dresses did she cut up to use as material for ghazan's clothes? how many nights did she go hungry just so he could eat?#and she can't even cry about it. not while he's around anyway because she's supposed to be strong for him.#I imagine she often cried after putting ghazan to bed. just out of sheer helplessness. from how exhausted she was #she cried herself to sleep every night and pulled herself back together every morning #tied her hair back with her mother's kerchief and went straight to work anywhere that would hire her. working until she could barely stand #all for him. I'm not excusing her actions in any way but I understand why she was overcome with resentment after he left her #running away without as much as a goodbye. after everything she had done for him. spitting in her face would have hurt less #so when he resurfaced over a decade later to dump his bastard children on her it didn't take long for all that resentment to find an outlet #and the rest is history... fuck. thinking about her teenage and ya self always makes me cry. she was so much like suiren it's heartbreaking #well. the only reason suiren is like this now is bc of her. but yk what they say. the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself #anyway. I'm really glad I took the time to redraw this. I'm so much happier with it now. she actually looks like a young girl now #this really hits different considering that I straight up killed her in my latest au... granted she was in her 40s there. but still

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dent-de-leon · 2 months

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Lucien is like a fun vampiric archetype kinda character to me. His whole power is about blood and sacrifice. In the Orders, blood hunters would mix their blood together and then literally just drink it. Lucien gifts Cree a vial of his own blood, something that they both consider sacred. He even vows to her, "Blood of mine for blood of yours."

Lucien is both dead and alive--Taliesin mentions he was always certain Mollymauk would've set off Detect Undead. Lucien is among the living once again, and yet, still a ghost forever haunting his own skin--he's felt death sink its claws into him. He's tasted immortality. He sees himself as a god, a king, claims other mortals are beneath him. "I've come to take my reign, long may it be."

(And if we want to talk about Tealeaf as a spirit, Lucien as metaphorically undead--I think it's also worth noting that Mollymauk is also intended to be Taliesin's interpretation of a mermaid. Specifically, because they supposedly have no souls. Soulless? Clawing out of their own grave feeling hollow, empty, forever changed? Sounds very reminiscent of vampires to me, at least thematically--)

Lucien is the ruling lord; inheritance of the whole broken world is his destiny, his birthright. He's an orphan child all alone in the world, curled up in an abandoned cellar for shelter, desperate for an escape.

To the ruling families of Shadycreek and powerful mages of the Cerberus Assembly? Lucien Tavelle is nothing, nobody, another tool to be discarded when he's no longer of use. In another life, he's the exact kind of unfortunate, lonely soul who would've been led to a monster. The kind of person Gustav let Kylre devour--"Those no one would miss." As just a chid, Lucien is forced to feed other desperate souls to a monster himself. Just as much of a victim as the puppets on display in the witch's house.

Something about how Lucien has all these vampiric qualities of a powerful--cursed--undead monster, how he hungers for connection and control over other desperate souls, feeding on the dreams and minds of city trapped for centuries. And yet, the fact that his whole power is about sacrifice, and how that's reflected in Molly.

Someone who will bleed himself dry to save everyone else. Recklessly risking his neck for someone who might never thank him. Unable to bear watching others suffer--willing to stand and fight in their stead. Taliesin taking this premise of someone who's supposed to be hollow and empty and without a soul, someone who's often seen as monstrous, and yet...being so full of love and joy, he gains a soul all his own--

#lucien is very vampiric to me but also #molly is the kind of person who would let himself just bleed out if he thought it would save someone else #and I don't know I think its very interesting #tal had so many neat concepts that went into molly I think about how hes supposed to be soulless and was perhaps originally intended #as undead. being haunted by his own ghost and just--#there's so many different facets to this character I always wish we had more time to explore #anyway!! I just had vampires on my mind and the blood hunter orders give me those kinda vibes and so does lucien sometimes #just having some late night tealeaf thoughts

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