#not me maintaining my duolingo streak instead of writing

[aalinaaaaaa]

Great way to call us out, Duo 👀

#not me maintaining my duolingo streak instead of writing #nuh uh #writeblr meme #writeblr

[sys128]

I sometimes find it hard to get into a new habit, even if it benefits me in the long run! I can't even count how many examples of this I can give, because they all and the same way: I do it for a few days but it almost never lasts! I personally believe that it will become an issue in adulthood. Usually, the human brain develops until the age of 25. And that age is fast approaching, even though I'm almost 18. It might only be a matter of time for these habits are ingrained in my brain permanently, and will therefore be much harder to solve. I have tried many ways to combat this procrastination issue, but finding a solution is quite difficult. I always seem to find some way to snap out of it and continue doing the things I have been doing instead of the things that I should be doing.

That isn't to say that it never works, however. I have managed to maintain a month-long streak by learning Japanese on Duolingo and continue to rely on other sources to get the job done, so obviously I am capable of building some sort of habit. Another example of this is how I've managed to become fluent in another keyboard layout. But there are so many other things that I wish to do going forward, especially when it comes to YouTube. I have been very on and off about video production, which has resulted in months and months between videos, which I don't think the audience would appreciate if this continues. I need to find some sort of way to continue work on them more often than how I'm approaching them at the moment. It would have to be in a way that is most comfortable for me whilst also getting quality work done. Over the past year or so, this has been the greatest challenge I have ever confronted, and continues to be to this day. I figure writing about it will jump start me finding a process to this madness.

Perhaps I can always come back to old ideas and give them another try. One of these old ideas is putting something at stake and acting on it depending on the outcome. Like for example, I wanted to prevent myself from doing something I wanted to if I didn't get something done first. I think I want to try this again, because it sounds like something that would be very effective. Looking back at my childhood, this was very effective in getting my chores done, because I couldn't access my video games until then. Even though this was years ago, that does not mean that this could still apply to present me. Another old idea that comes from my childhood is scheduling. When I was in around 4th grade, I was often supervised by another teacher because I had pervasive developmental disorder, and one of the things that they found that ended up helping me was having a second schedule on my desk that laid out the things that happened during that day. I also have a friend that schedules things 30 minutes ahead of time. (He even calls these things "keyterms.") Using that sort of way of scheduling, it is easier to keep track of what you want to do at that specific time. It seems to be very effective on him, and have been thinking about doing something similar for a while. The reason why I think this will work better than some other methods I've tried is because I tend to jump to the next thing kind of quickly. There are times where my mind is more in a "hyperactive" state rather than completely focused on one thing, whereas other times, the opposite is the case.

I hope to solve this mystery within the next year so it will not be an issue when I become an adult. This would end up helping me in a lot of areas, especially things with deadlines because I have seem to have a little bit of trouble with that. Maybe instead of deadlines, I can focus on getting a little bit at a time each session. But maybe I can't do this with everything, because school assignments rely very heavily on deadlines, so there will be exceptions. Other than that, I think there are ways to solve it, but I have been all over the place in terms of how I'm going about solving it, but I hope I find it one day.

#text block #self reflection

[helendamnationx]

Here are some free basics to get you started learning Mandarin:

-Duolingo: Not the best, doesn’t explain grammar very well, can sometimes be frustrating in the way it demands very specific answers so you end up memorizing the thing Duo wants you to say instead of actually understanding. On the other hand, the comments are often very helpful, and the gamification aspect really helps particularly if you’re not studying seriously. The urge to maintain my duolingo streak has kept me going. Also. I probably would not have started learning if it had not been for duolingo. So. Shout out for being accessible and free and a good starting point.

- HelloChinese: A more involved and in-depth version of Duolingo, explains the grammar much better, has pronunciation help and character-writing practice and a better revision method and audio clips of dialogue spoken by real people. Only free up to a certain point, the audio clips are not free, and I stopped using it very much after I hit the end of the new content but still revise on it now and then.

- Pleco!  You need Pleco. This is your dictionary. You can type in characters or pinyin or English words to translate, and can also look up words by drawing them on the screen. Has other features which are not free, but the free services are invaluable.

- Chinese Boost Grammar Rules: Sets out grammar rules in short, clear articles with lots of examples, labelled by difficulty level. 

- Youtube! And Youtube! And Youtube! Here are some of my favourites.

#langblr #mandarin #chinese

[merulanoir]

an exercise in getting my shit together

I have successfully created habits regarding conversion, so I figured it's time to extend that to the few things I have going on this summer. I want to create studying habits before school starts, and luckily I already have my topics picked. That, and I have two fics I'd like to finish and a big dnd campaign to prep. I'm in the lucky position of having about two months of (hopefully) uninterrupted time off.

I have an awful track record of sticking to plans, so I think I will try to commit and take notes here. Writing about this on my blog will hopefully create just enough mental pressure to help staying focused.

In no particular order:

- The royal ot3 longfic, sans title (129k words, 16 chapters as of 15th of June 2021): I want to finish this beast, period. I think it's about...three fourths done. It's been in the works since the spring of 2020, so I think it's high time to just buckle down and finish the first draft. I can't post anything before the whole thing is done. Sob.

- The Daud/Thomas au fic (44k, 10 chapters): Same here. This one is technically only missing one or two chapters. Please won't someone come and kick me enough to wrap it up. This one isn't as important to me as the longfic, so my goal for this week is to finish the first draft. I haven't decided if I'll let my beta chew her way through it in any greater capacity, because again, the longfic is right there and it will be a doozy. (Any volunteers?)

- My godawful sleeping rhythm: now this one is technically easy, because I sleep with meds. I just have to remember to take those meds early enough. Lol.

- Languages! I have, for the first time ever, maintained a 71 streak on Duolingo. I'm studying Hebrew for my conversion, so that one will stay at top of the importance order. Since my school offers a lot of studies dealing with Russia, I'm thinking of picking up Russian properly again. It would be a massively useful language around here just in general, too. I've kept my daily goal very low (10exp/day which basically means one lesson unit, or about five to ten minutes a day,) and I think I will start by bumping it up to 30. The kicker here is that especially with Hebrew I need to do some of the exercises on my laptop instead of on mobile to retain vocabulary.

- Descent Into Avernus prep. We're starting in two weeks, and I have most of the first chapter's maps and tokens ready. I need to prep them on Foundry, figure out ambient music and sounds, and finalize a few stat block things for my players' homebrew features. By the time we start I want to have the party's backstory bits locked down, have the first two chapters' worth of arcs prepped, and my alterations to the plot done. This one only has as much of a timetable as I want it to have, because as a DM I know that it's impossible to plan for everything my players will do.

- Excel and maths. I know I will need these. I have an unreasonable fear of it.

So, the goal for this week is to finish the au fic and do my language lessons a bit earlier than at 23:47 at night. Also to find where the local library is and get a few math books so I can start figuring out what I don't know.

#hot future accountant summer 2021 #now that i have written this down it officially Exists according to my brainmeats

[ohh-kaye]

2018 Resolutions

FIRSTLY! I WROTE HALF OF THIS AND TUMBLR RELOADED ITSELF AND I LITERALLY JUST LOST EVERYTHING.

OKay let’s hope I remember what I initially wrote.

Let’s see my resolutions from last year, shall we?

1. Master the keyboard (YES/NO)

I have my keyboard next to me because I really want to learn how to play “When” by Dodie and it’s been stocked up for a while now. I’m not exactly a “master” but I have got a hold of the basics this year so I do know some things. I can look at chords online and play the song which is progress. I mean, that’s basically how I learned how to play the uke so I’m doing well... I think.

2. Wear more jewellery (NO)

Failed that completely. It didn’t even try to be honest. I go to uni and hospital and I don’t go out to socialise so I never had the chance to wear them. It was just a hassle to try and match them with I’m wearing and because I wear a lot of long sleeved shirts, they get covered anyway. Plus, I’m at home when I have free time so I just never got around to wearing any of the many necklaces and bracelets I have. Phooey.

3. Read more books (YES)

I’ll just leave that there.

4. Watch my weight (YES)

Okay. It took me forever to figure out how to make a chart since I haven’t done so since high school but here’s the result! I’m actually so proud of myself.

I lost 15 kgs this year. I’m still far my goal weight and I’m borderline healthy-overweight on my BMI but I actually did it and I’m so proud of myself. I look through old photos of myself and at the time I thought “I didn’t look too bad” but now I realise how badly I’ve treated myself and how “in the clouds” I was with my weight. I’m no better mentally because calorie counting is fuelling my undiagnosed OCD and I’m basically restricting but I’m getting smaller and as sick as I realise that is, I am proud of the discipline and progress I’ve made.

5. Go through and use my make-up (YES/NO)

I don’t wear a lot of make-up but I am going through them and I try to make myself look presentable when I leave the house. I have gone through quite a lot but I haven’t used too many so it’s a yes and no.

6. Be fluent in a new language (YES/NO)

I’ve been doing or at least trying to do them everyday (I have missed a couple of days because I forgot or I knew I just had no time. That’s why it’s not a 366 day streak). I honestly thought I would only get to 25% for each but I’ve surpassed that. I can understand a few sentences when I hear them in movies or TV and I can string together a few phrases but I’m not fluent yet. It’s just a shame I won’t be applying my knowledge because I won’t be going on the Austrian Study Tour at my uni but I do plan on going at some point to the place of origin of these amazing languages and hopefully I won’t get lost.

7. Get my L’s (YES)

I’ve been driving to work now and me and my brother have driving lessons so maybe in the next year or 2 years, I ‘ll get my P’s. I’m not rushing with this because I don’t really want to drive, I just need to. So I’m pacing this very slowly. BUT I AM GETTING THERE. I know how to reverse a car and drive in my lane so that’s a good thing.

8. Be less sad/depressed/anxious (NO)

AHAHAHAHA I knew this would be fucking impossible.

I’ve succeeded on a lot of resolutions which judging by the title of that (New Year’s Resolutions that I’ll probably stop doing by February.) I had no belief in myself so this is all very surprising.

Here’s a new list because working towards something is helpful and I might surprise myself again next year.

(This is also very last minute. Writing this has been on my list since the beginning of the month)

1. Actually master the keyboard.

I’ll put this here again because I really want to learn.

2. Reach my goal weight.

I’ll probably end up failing this because my weight loss has plateaued since fucking October?ish but the closer I get to that goal weight, I’ll be okay.

3. Maintain my skin and hair care routine

I have a skin care routine now because I’m an adult. I hate my face and because of this routine, my skin’s been settled. The annoying thing is, since my pimples can’t go to my face, it goes everywhere else. like wtf?

I’ve noticed that my hair’s thinning out and falling even though it’s been weeks since I did anything to it. I think it’s because I’m not eating as much but I put coconut oil on it after I shower. I’ll admit that’s not a hair care routine but it’s a start and maybe I’ll change it up next year because I’m actually worried that my hair is dead.

4. Go to the dentist.

I haven’t seen a dentist in fuckin 4 years and I didn’t use my retainer properly and my teeth are shifting and they’re yellow from all the coffee and I have cavities again because I forget to brush my teeth ahahaha. I have a laundry list of problems I need fixing and I need to get my ass on a dentist’s chair asap. It’s just too expensive.

5. Continue to read more books.

I’ll put this here again because I know next year will be pretty busy so I would still love to achieve my Goodreads challenge. And I have bought a lot of books since last year and I need to read them all.

6. Review for the GAMSAT.

I should start thinking about Medicine to be honest. I don’t want to be 30 before I’m a licensed physician. That’s not the end of the world though but that is my goal.

7. Get 75% on my Duolingo

I’ll add this here too because it is a continuous thing that doesn’t just end after the year is up. I’m not aiming for 100% because the progress gets slower the more words you learn so 75% seems achievable.

8. Go to another country.

Obviously, this isn’t the Austria Study Tour because I won’t be going to that but around the end of the year, my relatives from the US keep asking us to visit when we graduate and I actually want to go (on my own if I can) because I feel some sort of independence when doing big things by myself and I feel like if I do this, then I’ll be a full-fledged adult. This resolution is a long shot but idk maybe it will happen. I’m not getting my hopes up though.

9. Get my grad.

I can’t explain this because it’s related to Nursing. Basically, it’s a job as an RN but they give you the support like you’re a student so you’re not abandoned. This is a good step in the door because you get a job right away instead of waiting until your application is accepted. This is competitive amongst all graduating nursing students so hopefully I get it.

10. Be less of a hoarder.

I’ve started doing this a couple of months ago and it’s something I want to maintain. I’m a certified hoarder and I buy things I already have a lot of or I don’t need. So I’m training myself to look at an object and ask myself “Does this give me joy?”. If not, I can toss it.

11. Eat healthier.

This’ll be hard because I love meat. I honestly want to be a pescatarian though because I don’t want to be vegan but I know that red meat will kill me in the long term. I think mainly this resolution is just to choose better options with food. If it’s a choice between meat or fish or salads then I’ll pick the healthier option. ya dig?

12. Focus on my mental health.

Yet again I set myself an impossible goal. I know I’ll be stressed next year and I’ll have frequent anxiety attacks, mental breakdowns and quarter life crises but if I can’t keep it at a minimum by continuing this blog then I’ll be fine. Choose happiness or whatever that bullshit phrase is.

I THINK THAT’LL BE IT! I can’t think of anymore stuff to actively pursue for next year. They’ll be new things along the way but if I can do as much as I can to better myself then everything will be okay.

I sound so fucking pretentious when I’m being optimistic.

We will all die one day and everything will be for nothing.