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woozi · 6 months

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hiii yza! it’s car crash anon… now that we’re a few weeks into god of music’s release, I was wondering if you had a ranking / any thoughts on the tracks for seventeenth heaven?

also, when there’s a comeback, is there anything you tend to anticipate / are super excited for outside of just the MV?

for me I’m OBSESSED with the dance practice behinds. any behind for award ceremony practices are also pretty fun, but I just personally loveee hearing them sing little bits and pieces of the song live in the dance practices. this is actually how I characterize booseoksoon in my head—they’re the three members most likely to burst into song (seriously. that mmtg vid I pointed out before with hoshi imitating a violin player? in that vid seungkwan starts singing manmanhani by ukiss and dk and hoshi join in. yeah I just know this in my head. no I couldn’t tell u a single member’s bday in svt I just keep lots of strange and minuscule factoids in my head)

anyways, because of that I TREASURE the inside seventeens for fighting (the dance practice, the promotional activities, and the circle chart awards practice) because there’s just so much. ~performance~ going on. impromptu singing and such. I actually wasn’t a biggest fan of the song but after watching the behind stuff and the going seventeen (mr. cha you’re an icon to me) I was completely sold on the vibe of it all.

also I think I just like dance practices. every month I remember some svt performance and text my friend like “listen I just think whether you like the song or not spider has such a good choreography. like it absolutely represents the feeling of prey and predator so well. also like the props are so effectively used like. it’s literally just glorified pull-up bars but the layering of them creates this really interesting enhancement of Depth and makes it really FEEL like one is being pulled deeper into a web—and when they switch to a side view, these same props almost give off the image of prison bars. the execution is genuinely so brilliant—” [cut for time] I could do this abt most svt choreos tbh I LOVE picking out details!

hello bestie 🥰🥰🥰

my ranking atm is GoM > back 2 back = monster = yawn > diamond days > headliner > sos (sorry the lyrics make me .... 🤨🤨🤨 jkdsfjsdkjkdskjds 😭😭😭 but it's understandable eng is not their first language!!)

hONESTLY????????? i always look forward to the dance practice fdfdkdfkjdfjk i think it's because i also used to dance and i just find it very fascinating (esp bc the choreo/performance aspect is a huge part of what svt has to offer)

ALSO WIGGGGG ure so valid for that <3 it rlly is nice to see what goes on behind the scenes!! would also add jeonghan to the burst-into-song unit 😋

ALSO NOT MR CHA 😭😭😭😭😭 icb we lived to see that, also love how they try not to break character but ultimately fail 😭😭😭

AGREED W SPIDER TOO????????????????????????????????/ and ure right omg i havent thought abt The Imagery

#car crash anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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meowdarame · 2 years

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Diiiiice!!! I’ve seen your old Haikyuu astrology tiktoks and can I ask you which character you think fits their chart the most? I vaguely remember u mentioning it in a vid and I CANNOT find it rip! A thought I have daily is wtf are the Miya Twins’ rising sign haha they’re the only Libra men I would let near me tbh

omg i can’t believe i got recognized from my semi-inactive tiktok account 😭 but hello i’m glad you enjoy my cross-platform content!

anyways, here’s my list (in no particular order) of haikyuu characters that i think fit really well with their speculated birth charts!

a few disclaimers to everyone before i start: 1) their moon & rising signs are speculative because idk what time they were born :/ so i just calculated all of them with the assumption they were born at midnight on the day of their bdays! and 2) this is just for fun as i am not a professional reader! just someone who finds astrology interesting :) so please refrain from being mean in the replies or my askbox if you disagree! thank you <3

SATORI TENDOU: taurus sun, virgo moon, gemini mercury + venus, aries mars

he is the loml but there’s no bias here! i just feel like it all makes so much sense. taurus sun = affinity for food that most tauruses have; virgo moon = tendency to be self-critical at times (but i feel like this manifested more during his childhood & preteen years, basically before he found himself w/ volleyball); gemini mercury = he’s very witty with his remarks and always has good comebacks (i personally think that this quality is most present with like gemini & sag mercuries!); aries mars = HES SO COMPETITIVE (re: baki baki ni ore~~). if i had to guess his rising sign, i’d say aquarius or leo rising!

KAGEYAMA TOBIO: capricorn sun + mercury, taurus moon, sagittarius venus, virgo mars

the earth placements in his chart make so much sense and i think it is best seen in his commitment to volleyball. he chases it with a disciplined passion that’s based on repetition and routine (think virgo and capricorn placements!) also his taurus moon,,,, i think about how reluctant he was to change his play style until oikawa knocked some sense into him HAHA but as someone with a taurus moon myself, it really be like that sometimes. if i had to guess his rising sign, i’d have to say scorpio tbh (the dark features and the semi-obsessed lens he views the world through)

TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE: pisces sun, leo moon, aquarius mercury, aries venus, pisces mars

GOD HIS CHART IS SO ON BRAND W/ HIS PERSONALITY. think aggressive simp! i think him having 2 pisces placements in his big 6 make so much sense and his leo moon too! i think he carries himself with so much self-assurance in a way that i think most leo moons do. BUT! his aries venus,,, coming from an aries venus myself I KNOW how it be sometimes, and him seeing kiyoko, falling in love w her at first sight, then (spoiler) MARRYING HER?? that’s some aries venus shit right there! if i had to guess his rising, i’d say sagittarius rising EASY.

MIYA TWINS: libra sun, aquarius moon, libra mercury + venus, scorpio mars

god i love these boys sm. both of them give such himbo/airhead energy that only libra men could radiate (this is all love here, i personally luv libra men HAHA). BUUUUT the scorpio mars,,, the way that they (esp atsumu, but osamu applies here too) chase their dreams and passions with a relentless, borderline obsessive fervor is just really on par with scorpio mars and scorpio placements in general. how i see it is very much like —> i see it, i like it, i know how to get it, i got it! if i had to guess their risings, hmm, this one’s a tossup but i might have to say leo or taurus rising. i just get such fixed sign energy idk!

i hope you enjoyed this lil astrology rant that i went on hehe!

#🎲.answers #review by anon <3 #RIP MY TIKTOK ACCOUNT #ive just been so lazy to post :(#but im always excited to talk abt hq astrology w/ anyone hehe

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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hi bae <3 reading that last ask i’m realizing i have no grammar? lmao

glad university is funnnn, when you said linguistics i was like 🤨 but then i googled it and it does sound interesting lmao

the too much free time part though... :( its like you expected to be thrown in and like WOO BUSY and WOO purpose (purpose may be going too far lol) but i totally get what you’re saying. ESPECIALLY when you expect to be busier and you’re not it’s like :/ ok. (& girlllll it’s fine to complain, it’s how ur feeling)

and bc of covid you have eVEN LESS STUFF TO DO, which sucks. the social part may help? even just a little bit, but maybe having some socialization.. it could be somewhat uplifting? idk gsjshsj

where i live the vaccine is for 16 and up right now but for the younger kids (12-15) it hasn’t been ✨FDA approved✨ yet so my brother is still waiting for his 🤠

okay really quick, how does drivers license work there? here you learn to drive at 16 and you can like actually drive (sometimes even alone in the car) by 17... (also burneks?)

YAYYYY GIRLLL i remember you telling me about how you haven’t seen your family in England in such a long time 🥺🥺🥺 i really hope you get to see them soon!!!! and that covid eases up so you can see them frequently again 🥺🥺🤍

i’m gonna tattoo that to my forehead “not being friends with your parents is unhealthy” EXACTLY!! the people saying that stuff are usually not close to their parents so 👀

i’ve been really busy (unfortunately imo lol) with my dance recital coming up and this singing group (which i don’t like at all) and my final tests bc of school i’m EEK but it’s a good eek i think? maybe? idk lolll, i can’t wait for everything to be over though so i can CHILL. after school however i have a missions trip in north carolina? don’t quote me on that, but yeah 🥰 i’m really excited about it bc i’ll be without my family (like on my own :)) and it’s this whole thing and i’ll get to know people and i’m gonna buy a new bathing suit that makes me look gooooood cuz i’m tryna cop a boyfriend while i’m there HAHAHAH but besides that... more acting and singing camps probably? most likely a summer job.. i don’t have any plans reallyyy set in stone but ya know (ACTUAL i do have a few things planned. but those are things i don’t want to do. so i will be ignoring them <3)

that was a long ass paragraph- but PLEASE UR RESPONSE WAS FINEEE & i love you 💓💓💖💞💘💓💞💕 literally watch me buy a ticket to germany rn

- lovely anon (or catherine? i feel that lovely anon is iconic now tho so. kinda like how i call you aria in my head not your real name lol ALSO I PROMISE IM GONNA RESPOND TO THAT REALLY SOON, it’s just really busy rn) <3

what’s wrong with tumblr i just saw this a minute ago 🥲🥲🥲🥲 they don’t want to see us together ✋🏼 but fuck them 💘

Whaksk wait wdym by you have no grammar? 😭😭hejsjs

Honestly I’m so surprised that I’m enjoying linguistics but i think since i speak english and german i’ve just always been interested in language and esp english since it’s just my second language so i was forced to learn more about the language than just words and grammar, because it’s such a big part of me and also i didn’t always have a british accent so i kind of had to... develop a british accent, and it was natural but also kind of wasn’t??? Anyway why was this one sentence like 17 lines i’m sorry

YES OMG EXACTLY and obviously i’m missing out on the whole uni experience i mean I’m introverted anyway but i don’t mind going to a party every now and then? but i haven’t talked to a single person from my uni (except in class when we had to analyse a poem or something— okay technically some of my friends go to the same uni as me but they’re all studying other stuff)

But yeah I’ll definitely try to meet my friends more often 🥺 but we all have really different schedules rn so it’s really hard to find days where we both/all are free and not too tired and yeahssjsksj but i mean.... i can pay 50% of your ticket to germany? and then we can hang out? 🥰

I think everyone over 18 can get their vaccine from Monday on so I’ll try to call (okay, my mum will call sisjsh) and see if i can get an appointment. but i think everything will be super full because previously only people over... 50?or 60? or people with like illnesses could get it and now everyone over 18 can get it??? Like that’s a lot of people who can suddenly get the vaccine sksjjs but at the same time they’re getting quicker with it (i think today over 1 million people got the vaccine???? Like i know the US probably gets wayyy more people done so idk if that sounds like nothing to you but obviously Germany is much smaller so to me that sounds like a lot???) and also one of my father’s friend’s wife (djdkdj) works at a hospital or something? And she said she’ll ask if I can get it done there so yeah 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Isksmsjjs it took me so long to figure out what burneks was, i googled it (very weird results?) and then i realised i made a typo.... yeah no idea what i was trying to say lol

So in Germany (as far as I’m aware) you can start at 17 and you can’t have your test before you’re 17 years and 6 months old (idk why) and then you’re not allowed to drive alone until you’re 18 and then you still have two years on probation(is that what it’s called?) and you’re not allowed to drink a single sip of alcohol before you’re 21 (and drive) (cause in germany you’re allowed to drink when you’re 14 (if your parents are with you and allow it), then when you’re 16 you can buy beer and wine, and when you’re 18 you can buy everything. But you’re not allowed to drink and drive (even if it’s just 0.01 promille) until you’re 21)

(Okay I just googled and I don’t think you say pro mille/per mille in english sksjsjs but like the percent (or something...) of alcohol you have in your blood (idk biology sorry) (not that you asked about drinking and driving anyway? 😭 but there you go lmaoo)

Also idk if that’s just a UK thing or you also have it in the US? But all of my relatives from England keep asking me how often I’m driving with my parents (for practice)... and in Germany that’s.... not allowed? Like in england you can get these L (Learner) plates that you can stick on the back of your car and then you can drive anytime with your parents, but in germany you can only drive with your driving instructor during a paid for and legally organised driving lesson so. Kksskaj

Yess, the good thing now is that i can go to england anytime? Because Uni is all online anyway so it’s not like i have to wait until the holidays to see my family, i really hope i’ll see them soon🥺 it was my nana’s bday today and my grandad’s a few weeks ago so i’m painting two pictures for them tomorrow and sending them as a (late) gift next week 😌 (i’ll do like an impressionist ✨field of flowers✨ (that sounds awful sksjsjsj for reference i’ll look something like this: (it’s not mine i just found it on the internet while i was looking for some inspiration

for my nana, and something with a waterfall for my grandad) (looking at it now i don’t even think that’s impressionism? Idfk i had art as my subject for my a levels (like one of my final exams) and i actually got an A 👀 but it was mainly architecture and i don’t even remember that so

Ahhh I hope it’s a good eek!! Sksjj hopefully you’ll be done with everything soon and i already know you’re gonna do really good in all of your tests😌 but still: good luck ❤️❤️❤️

Idk if it’s actually cool? But North Carolina sounds so cool to me (but honestly you could have said any state and i’d think it’s cool sksksskm) And girl I still think it’s so amazing that you just sing and dance and act and omg ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(I’m imagining us in a montage (?) like they always have in films while we’re shopping to get you a hot bathing suit😌😌 and then they always come home with like 6 shopping bags in the movies—)

This is gonna sound so dumb because who tf wants to work? But I’ve always wanted a summer job 🥲 like nothing too exhausting obviously but i’ve never earned any money by myself? I haven’t had a single job in my life (not that I’m that old and like only one of my friends has worked in her life like we’re young sksjsj) and yeah i think it would be really cool to have a summer job and earn some money 😌 but during the summer holidays (they’re only 6 weeks in germany) we’d always go to england for at least two weeks and then we’d drive to bosnia to see my dad’s family for a few days and then to croatia and then to Bosnia again sksksksms so i never had time for a summer job (obviously i’m aware that it’s a fucking privilege that i’ve never had to work and that i get to go to multiple countries during the holidays but yeah)

WHY DO I TALK SO MUCH AUSSKKSSM

Like I said I’ll pay 50% of your ticket 😌 i’ll be here stuck at home anyway, just let me know when you’re coming so i can come pick you up😌 (this emoji djskksks— but i mean it fits so i’ll use it as often as i can 😌)

Lovely anon IS iconic 😌✨ but Catherine is more than okay too🥰 so just say whatever you prefer ❤️

(And omg you never have to apologise for responding to my long ass, full-of-mistakes responses late sksjs take your time (i mean i wouldn’t be mad if you just didn’t respond to some of them i talk too much anyway <3333)

#lovely anon #<3

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luckyfaeth · 5 years

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hi sylvie. its my bday tomorrow and ive had a rough week so is it ok if i file a request for some staubechemily polybellas headcanons? i love my precious ot5 girls and miss them greatly

hi omg happy birthday babe!! and i’m sorry you’ve had a rough week :( i hope these babies help u

concept: staubechemily all moving in together

a couple of them definitely have like, lived together already as roommates and the others would have basically lived with them along the line but it doesn’t become official until a little ways into their relationship

i can see aubrey and chloe being roommates and then stacie moving in before they all get together

they have to find a house bc well they’re gonna have five people living there!

they probs have like two main bedrooms in case they wanna split up n one guest/quarantine room for when they’re sick

they will usually try to pile into their giant bed altogether but sometimes it gets crowded and one or two of them will move to the other room throughout the night (usually stacie or aubrey, they tend to get the most cramped)

although sometimes beca will be like. full on ontop of stacie and she can’t move

emily has fallen (i.e. been accidentally pushed) off of the bed multiple times because she sleeps close to the edge (chloe always kisses her as an apology)

chloe also is the bitch who YANKS the blankets with the strength of one thousand men and beca, stacie, and aubrey lose their MINDS

they all have VERY different interior design styles and they argue a lot over how to decorate

and by They i mean mainly stacie, aubrey, and beca

stacie likes lots and lots of knicknacks and useless shit like bowls of glass fruit and like eighteen tapestries. aubrey is more minimalist but with a rustic/modern spin. and beca just in general kind of hates interior design and thinks its pointless and “why do we need this painting here aubrey” “it’s pretty” “ok but why”

chloe and emily have to make the rest of them take a few days off from furniture shopping and they make it work for everyone

(aubrey still thinks they Dont Need half of the little decor pieces around but she keeps her mouth shut)

beca and stacie usually cook, and aubrey will help if she doesnt have to work too late

emily can bake really well, and can kind of cook but gets a little overwhelmed multitasking so they usually give her like one thing to do

chloe is Not Allowed to cook because she’s a crazy person in the kitchen and drives everyone else (esp. aubrey and beca) insane

she’s also banned from being in the kitchen while the others are cooking because she likes to Distract the others

one time chloe got up before all the others and made pancakes for them

they were mostly burnt but the others appreciated it anyway

and they went out to ihop

#polybellas #staubechemily #headcanons #I forgot how much i love them im emo!!#trashanddrivel

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alxxkim · 6 years

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December 2

I’m currently listening to Overwhelming while eating candy corn Jin got me for my bday (so its been a month and yet) and I feel like I have a lot to say that I don’t have someone to tell to all in one sitting so here it goes. A few weeks ago I decided to stay at Biola for the spring but now I am having second thoughts. I am WAY happier at school away from my family/house and the thought of living at home 24/7 aka how summer was aka hell makes me actually want to kill myself. I really hope that there’s a chance Karina and I both go to Fullerton so we can have a place together. It sounds so fantastical but also just imagining how amazing my life would be is just all I am looking forward to. I think that I am going to end up enrolling late and not get any classes I want because people have already signed up for classes and most are full lo l but yeah. I am suffering from writer’s block. I tried writing tonight and I actually started crying as I was singing but it just didn’t feel right. I really want to write songs that I can 100% sing-cry to and make it feel so right. I just haven’t found it yet.I wonder how Jon Bellion wrote these songs haha. His lyrics are just so fucking wholesome and relevant to so many aspects of my life. Listening to him tho makes me feel so fucking confused cause the first time I saw him, I was “happy” and brown haired and dating John and the last time I saw him in September I was black haired, single, and broken. I still am those three things. Work has taken over my life again. I am scheduled Friday-Sunday for the next 2 weeks and as $$ as that made me think I was be, honestly it just doesn’t feel worth it right now. Granted, when I get paid, I will probably feel otherwise. I’ve been telling myself and others that I am okay with things with John. I honestly can’t fucking tell what I am. I obviously miss him. I am doing fine without him, I will keep doing fine without him, but I miss having that person. I guess it’s slowly transitioning to the point where you miss the feelings and not the actual person. But just typing that made me realize how false that is. I miss John a lot. He was so funny and caring and loved me so much. I honestly think I can now realize that he loved me just as much as I loved him. And I loved him so fucking much. Just being next to him made everything okay. The night my mom found an empty cartridge in my room and messaged me about it asking and I thought I was done for, and all I did was just cry, John was just there and as terrified as I was, I was okay because of him. I think its because its December and the holidays are coming and last winter was probably one of the best parts of my life so far. My 6 week winter break was full of shabu, Fiona, my new polaroid, and just freedom. I was so happy I had Sen Nick and Tyler. I was so happy I had my friends at home. Everything was just so nice. And I had the plan to go to slo with Faith before break ended, and it was just so nice. I miss that feeling of being so excited to see John again. As hard and fucking unfair the distance was being with him obviously made it worth it. I wish I realized how unhappy John was. But there’s nothing I could’ve done. And I need to accept that so that I can stop hating myself for not being better. Maybe I need to take the next semester off. Maybe I just need to find new things I could enjoy. I don’t think I want to go to Disneyland next week with my family. My sister isn’t talking to me again. I feel like the family is broken again but its just with me. I’m slowly turning back into the person I was during the summer. There are so many people in my past that I want to rekindle things with and just fucking get a meal to catch up, but I can never do that. I don’t want to talk about John I don’t want to talk about how unhappy and depressed I am. But I am so tired of pretending like everything is okay. I feel like deleting all social media again. Looking on insta after shifts is just shit because I just feel this urge to fucking post but i have nothing to post because I spent my night inside working. Last night was really fun though. I got off work at around 11 I think and came home and showered and was just going to be on my phone for hours till I was okay enough to sleep. I knew Shin wanted to fuck haha but I told him that I felt like shit so he called me and asked what was up and why I’m depressed. He actually listened even though I was barely telling him everything because then he would probably think I’m insane if he doesn’t already but yeah he told me to just focus on things I love and that it really helps. It’s so admirable how much he loves working out and playing basketball. But yeah we talked for nearly an hour until he decided to get me and I came outside when he said he was here and as I walked out i noticed he was outside walking to me and he gave me a hug and we drove behind Target and sat there for maybe like 30 min just talking and listening to jbel and the script LOL HE SANG THIS ONE SONG SO FUCKING LOUD he said hes never sung that loudly in front of anyone before hahaha i wish i knew what song it was but i will cause he plays it daily. i just hate asking so im gonna have to snake a peek at his phone the next time it plays. my toes were rlly cold and so he started warming my right foot with his hands and blew air into them a lot haha it was so cute and he gave me a dank ass fucking foot massage holy shit. it hurt like a bitch but in the best way possible. my feet/ankles are always so fucked when i work. so it was especially dank. I also didn’t wear makeup and he said I look better without makeup haha i was like ooooooooooooooooooooook but rlly yeah i was happy he said that especially because I’ve been wearing makeup daily because I just hate myself without it. But that day I had a bare face and actually felt okay. He kissed me and he kept saying how he loves kissing me so much. Omg and we made out to jon b like im sorry but it was fucking amazing. ok we also fucked to him too HAHAHAHA And then kevin told us to cruise outside cydni’s house cause him paul and esther were smoking so we went and as we pulled up, paul looked at us through his open window and we both laughed in the same explosive way HAHAHAHAH and they told us to shut the fuck up jk they just sushed us ahahahah omfg. it was just too gold. i really don’t want to ever smoke in front of shin again but yeah I couldn’t just say no to weed haha so we hit a piece which burned the shit out of my throat and I was pretty faded I guess and shin kept coughing cause we werent hotboxing the car but it was still potent and i felt bad :( and he was like IS SECONDHAND FADED A THING hahahaha and esther had her juul so i hit that and then we left the car to smoke and i smoked a stoog. oh yeah so immediately after we got out of the car to walk to their car in the beginning, we were just standing outside their car as they were sitting inside and shin like immediately took off his jacket (the warm flannel we got at pacsun whom he loves) and gave it to me even tho he was wearing a tshirt and shorts ugh. i took it off before smoking cause i didn’t want it to smell so he put it back on and he was like “you can wear it once youre done smoking” haha. and he offered to give it back on the way back to his car but i said i was ok. then on the drive to my house i stuck my body out the window to vent out the smell LOL and it was cold as fuck but felt cool esp with shin’s crazy ass driving hahahahah and i was like i wish you had a sunroof and he was like “yeah thats my bad” and i was like NO BITCH IM NOT TRYING TO COMPLAIN ITS NOT UR BAD I MJSUT SAYING lol and shin has told me how much he hates smoking and the extent of it and how its so unattractive to kiss someone whos smoked so im like welp but as i was getting out of the car he was like yeah fuck u u smell i aint kissing you and i made a pout as i was getting out and he was like no wait and he kissed my cheek hehe. and before that he asked if i was feeling better and i said yes and thanked him and he said yeah of course anytime in a tone like ofc bitch. haha i love when he kisses my head T^T but yeah i came home around 4:40 or however long it took to get to my house and I was happy and hickey’d up and i was just so happy we ended up doing that.

i slept right before 7am and woke up like 11 so yeah i barely slept which is probably why i felt so off today. but i just stayed in bed till my hair cut which was at 2 and kathy was so shocked to see i cut my bangs LOL going on and on about how i never wanted bangs and then i do it and i WISH I DID NOT TRIM THEM LAST WEEK CAUSE THEYRE SO SHORT NOW CAUSE THEY WERE SO UNEVEN AND I LOWKEY HATE MY HAIR AND I WISH I DIDNT GET IT CUT SHORT UGH I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE but im gonna work with it and we’ll see. I wanna change my hair color again but idk what to change it to. Then i went to emily’s and we picked up at unity and smoked and caught up and she was doing her interior design homework and i had to leave cause of work which sucked cause i just wanted to actually hang out but i covered shin’s shift today cause he spent all day studying so im glad i got to help him out and if it were anyone else’s shift i would’ve hated myself lol. but he didn’t call me until like 1 or something but i knew he would call eventually and he said he wanted to finish his work early so we could’ve hung out but he has way too much and so we just talked but i could barely talk cause my bitchass sister always fucking goes off about how inconsiderate i am so yeah lmao but yeah and i told him i got off work early to which he said he knew cause i got home around 11 and i ate and he calculated it and theres no way i couldve eaten after getting off at 10:30 and got home HAHAH like he cared enough to think about that.... and then i told him i have work tomorrow 11:30-5 and he said then maybe he’ll come bring me boba

i dont expect him to but maybe he will im so fucking over work

i cant believe its already sunday tomorrow and i have to go back to school for chapel i think. fucking kill me. i just want to have free time

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