#one more and we have the family set

[anatomight]

Here's another two

#one more and we have the family set #stan pines #mabel pines #monster falls #gravity falls #doodles #digital art #gargoyle stan my beloved

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[puppyeared]

Why are ppl scared to call it what it is and say we’re still going thru covid on top of seasonal illness. Like. That’s pretty important right. I was watching the news and they were like oh yeah we have an unprecedented number of flu cases “as well as other sicknesses” without actually saying Covid. No announcement abt vaccinations or masking or anything. Also if I hear someone joking abt “war flashbacks” for mentioning covid I fucking hate u

#source: most of my family members are nurses and it was so bad for one of them they had to be put on a ventilator. in the hospital they #worked at. looking back I think I had a reason to feel a little offput by the shows of support early pandemic #with people tying blue ribbons around trees and lighting signs blue to support healthcare workers #I get that it was supposed to be moral support when we couldn’t do anything but follow health advisories #and it did matter to make them feel uplifted and do something than nothing. im not gonna deny that #but. you can still help now. u know that right. you still have a responsibility here #u can still mask up. u can still get vaxxed and call in sick to avoid infecting others #don’t leave it on healthcare workers to pick up the pieces just because they were doing it before. do u think they had a choice? #nobody likes picking up the slack for someone else and now that we have more tools to do smth couldn’t we just. do it???? #im not a virologist but i also feel like continuing to let it get worse by letting more mutations develop #could continue to set us back since this virus is pretty good at fucking us up long term and finding new ways to do that #while there are ppl still researching covid which is STILL A RELATIVELY NEW VIRUS. and studying possible treatment and cures #yapping #vent

[thecryptidart1st]

Realized this week at my job that William truly has a favorite holiday:

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #michael afton #william afton #afton family #1980s aftons #two different kinds of customers #sleep deprived michael will somehow choke his dad out with an easter garland #michael before coffee was introduced was a terrible beast #the one benefit of working retail is the shenanigans #i was already headcanoning that william was OBSESSED with rabbit decor and then michael's easter decor came in #time accuracy bonus with michael's existing since the 70s #but seriously you can tell how capitalist we got when we have easter set ups already in january #inlove the fact that we have a nonreligious easter and it just involves more colors and bunnies #i wonder where the cryptid works

[welcometogrouchland]

Do you think Luz and Hunter ever banter about their respective deaths w/ each other post canon. Like they have a "who wore it better" discussion but it's "who had the best resurrection over a 48 hour period?". Do you think they (emo shits) listen to Dead by MCR and go "haha you that one time", taking turns for who is, in fact, dead. Do you think the Eda, Darius and Camila are simultaneously suffering from unexplainable heart palpitations on the other side of the house???

#the owl house #toh #hunter toh #luz noceda #the more i think about luzs patches on her outfit in the epilogue #the more i think about how it implies that Luz and Hunter are still Super Fucking Close #just not as singularly dependant as they were in TTT bc they dont see themselves as unlovable monsters anymore #(and I'm mentally linking this with my unpublished meta abt how the wittebros and clawthorne sisters drama could've been avoided- #-if they were less dependent and had more thriving found families but that's like a whole different thing. anyway) #do you think that when they hang out (either one on one or in a group setting) they do this. make everyone uncomfortable w/ it #amity willow and gus just looking at them like please. we know its a joke but please. we are asking you to endure it #and they're like ENDURE THESE NUTS HAHAHA. then they both have to leave for their 3 o clock therapy appointments downtown #💛i think they do 💜 #^ not ship btw

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

Sometimes u just gotta find things to distract you from Arlecchino until she comes out

Like decorating your teapot to be a family home for Arle, her wife Furina and their 3 kids, Lyney Lynette and Freminet

#this is a great way to distract urself from Arlecchino. (obviously (it works great)) #technically there are a lot more kids in the house of the hearth than just those 3 #but I cannot put them in the teapot nor do I know them so #anyway this has been a fun project but I’m starting to run out of things to do #I’ve already made a bedroom for Arlefuri. a boudoir for Furina where she can work on her projects and things #I made a bedroom for the kids (I didn’t like the idea of separating their bedrooms since they’re all so close) #(I did give Fremi a little privacy nook cause I feel like he needs alone time. so does Lynette but we all know your twin doesn’t count) #the living room has Lyney and Lynette’s gift set as well as Fremi’s in it #I made Arlecchino an office. for Business TM #and I think the last major thing I need to do is rearrange the dining room. #right now it’s just Furina’s giftset but I kinda wanna downsize it #that way it can be a dining room and kitchen #cause like. a family dining room doesn’t need to be that big #if we had all the house of the hearth kids here we’d definitely need that much room + probably more #but we’ve got a family of 5 here they’ll be fine with 1 big dining table #ofc I already have everyone’s outdoor giftsets set up too #and one day Arlecchino’s giftsets will be added but #I don’t know what they are yet so #Arlecchino #Furina // #Arlefuri #Lyney // #Lynette // #Freminet // #Genshin Impact //

[kisaraslover]

something something as evil as he is about owning and subjugating her for eternity shes twice as insane about being the only one for him

#yugioh #ygo #art tag #seto kaiba #kisara #blueshipping #ill say it!!! I THINK SET'S SOUL HAS BEEN REINCARNATING NON STOP SINCE HIS FIRST LIFE. lost bitter. its so angsty because #hes destined for the same game same shame same loss for hundreds of lives. i think he had many wives many children #I KNOW IT SUCKS BLUESHIPPERS BUT LISTEN: none of those souls binds to him carried into the next. UNLIKE SOME INSANE WOMANS #WHO DECIDED TO ANCHOR HER SOUL INTO HIS BECAUSE HE WAS NICE TO HER ONE (1) TIME #kisara is more insane agenda. she just didnt have the screentime to show it!!! #as if any normal woman is suffering this guy for 5000 years for a single moment of kindness. miss me with that idiotic bs #only kisara is crazy enough for that smh #he had many wives and my sons and many families and his bitter angry long suffering soul only knew her light!!!!!!! shut up #anyway so i think we should be freaked by her coveting gaze

[los-plantalones]

Wife and i finally picked out a wedding venue! and it’s at one of my favorite county parks!

Special shoutout to Ken, the park ranger/event organizer who could not be ARSED about making money for the county and gave us all the money-saving tips

and whose comment “i don’t like a lot of people… you guys look like you don’t either” i will be thinking about fondly for weeks to come

#by ‘finally picked out’ i mean we went to look at one place loved it and set a date #he also noted that i seemed way more excited about collecting the pine resin from the trees out front #than i did ANYTHING wedding related #and you know what? he was right #honestly if wife and i didn’t have families that would collectively implode if we didn’t have a ceremony we probably would i dunno… #have a witch marry us in a bog or something

[tin-can-iron-man]

I just. I love my dad so much guys

#MAN OF ALL TIME he's so fuckin rad #he came over to help me set up my desktop (got a pc btw) and funniest man in existence here he touched my desk saw it wobble and went ''NO' #came back with his tools and an office chair for me because he saw the chair I was gonna use and went :/ #this man brought over an ENTIRE TOOLBOX just for me because I cannot for the life of me find where the old one went and just. fixed the des #that I had been struggling with for about eight months at this point. in like twenty minutes. and then set up my desktop for me #he also brought over a webcam and microphone without any sort of promoting just because he knows I do discord calls with my friends and gf #also I dug out the instructions for the desk and before I could even hand him the paper he was like ''so this is how we fix this'' #and then fixed it and was like ''yeah you did that wrong but you were close'' #and then was like ''dont buy furniture and stuff without letting me know first what you want I'll keep an eye out'' #and I was laughing being like ''I didn't want to come to you every time I need something because I want you to see me as independent'' #and he went ''you live by yourself of course I see you as independent'' and my bitches the way I almost cried right there #just. idk something something the way my families love languages have always been acts of service and gift giving #and my dad insisting I should rely on him more and giving me stuff I wanted but don't have without EVER TELLING HIM I wanted said things #just. my dad is so cool guys #sorry I saw my computer set up vibing on my desk and got completely overwhelmed #ignore me #not marvel related

[crehador]

brother crab's spring 2024 first impressions: tadaima, okaeri

slapping my wrist rest against my desk screaming THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN ok. ok ok so

i read i think the first 1 or 2 volumes waaay back and didn't really remember anything specific, but did remember that it was very cute and wholesome. then when i heard about the anime announcement i was like WHAT wow good for them, then when i heard asnm had been cast i was like WHAT i must reread immediately

so i did i reread it just a short while back and ue ue ue soung of crying it was even cuter than i remembered, i loved it to bits, hikari is the cutest moe blob in the world

suffice it to say i was really looking forward to this one, and the first ep of the adaptation has not disappointed at all! i feel like it's an excellent adaptation so far, really looking forward to more. the casting is just ugh chef's kiss, perfect really. i had it in the back of my mind that matsuo was torichan so while i was doing my reread i could literally hear him and it is as perfect a fit as i'd expected lmao

anyway tl;dr CUTE AS FUCK

#crab watches #spring 2024 #first impressions #tadaima okaeri #i'm still a bit stunned an omegaverse is getting an adaptation at all ngl #but this one is a VERY safe choice #setting aside the omegaverse and the bl factor it is basically just as slice-of-life romance and i LOVE it as that #like we've had a lot of good romance series lately #but so many of them focus on the getting together #(some of the ones i've enjoyed more like horimiya do have more of the being together part which is great) #but here with tadaima okaeri we get to go STRAIGHT INTO the being together part #the being a family part in fact! #and i really love that #i think it's not going to be everyone's thing #not just because it's omegaverse but because it's very sweet and extremely low drama #but to me it's just perfect. watching this family grow (not just the literal married couple and their kids family #but the found family they build in their community as well) really is such a treat #ok. ok enough rambling lol i still have other series to catch up on #UWAGHHHHHHHHHH I'M REALLY HAPPY WITH THIS ADPATATION SO FAR #LOOKING FORWARD TO THE UDON FAILGUYS SCENE

[july-19th-club]

nooooo not your first two reasons for staying in the city you are legally trapped in instead of absconding forever with billions of dollars worth of stolen art being the married couple who have slowly but surely absorbed you into their relationship and welcomed you into their life. a guy who has never had a place he wasn't obligated to leave feeling at first trapped by his circumstances but then coming to enjoy the idea of a permanent home and unwilling to be pressured away from it . surely no further events will transpire that might cause him to lose faith in this ideal and, feeling it necessary, strike out once again into the lonely world as a traveling thief with no port of call and no living name

#ive read the wiki!!!!! im not cool right now im not cool at all #can we PLEASE get this guy some stability and a chance at a future untethered to either institutions or sudden flight . can we please #white collar #dont let all the fun capers fool you this show is in many ways actually sort of a tragedy #people can change but the world and society might not. and in the end even though you would LIKE to have others. and they would like #to have you. the only thing you can fully expect to have at all times is yourself #therefore it is imperative that you get comfortable with your own company: someday it may be all you have left #home safety and family are wonderful things. sometimes they have chains on. #the freedom to go where you wish and do what you want without any strings at all is also a wonderful thing. sometimes it has no parachute #whats that thing jones says in as you were about all choices being sacrifice? #and neal's like whoa whoa slow down WHY. why CANT we have it all #and it's like well because any time you make a choice. ANY time. you must set aside one thing you want. for another thing you want more #every time you choose you have to decide which thing is the one you want more. oftentimes you will choose wrong #but not realize it until it is too late to take the choice back #this will continue as long as you live #good luck

[bonebabbles]

with the disclaimer that I don't know all the context since I haven't read it, how WAS he supposed to handle a contagious illness in a society that doesn't have any form of masks or sanitation? Temporarily quarantining contagiously sick cats away from healthy ones just seems like a completely different and much more reasonable thing than kicking out cats permanently for a disability because they would be a "burden".

@halogenwarrior

Ok, going with you having no context for this, he wasn't suggesting a 'temporary quarantine' for sick cats. There is already a quarantine, with only the medics approaching the sick. Following everyone having a Hearty Chuckle that Clear Sky 'cares about other people' now by saying we're "all in it together," Clear Sky shares his full plan;

He nonsensically believes that no sick prey is living in the burnt part of his woods and the fire "cleansed it", so all of the healthy cats will abandon the sick to die in their camps and come live on his territory and 'wait it out.'

His plan is that all the cats who become sick will die. It's not quarantine in the sense that they will 'help the sick but keep a distance', he is essentially suggesting a reverse leper colony where everyone who displays symptoms gets kicked out to fend for themselves.

And, in the past, illness was always part of his talking points for throwing cats out of his clan. It was why he tried to throw Frost out, where he would die alone. I went back to Thunder Rising to grab the passage,

This is after he shoves Thunder's face into it and tells him to lick it.

So, it's wholly inappropriate, imo, that Thunder essentially does a little eye roll and a cutesy sigh at this suggestion. "Ohh that's my dad and his ruthless streak." His dad has historically been a monster towards the sick and infirm when they "stop being useful" with this rhetoric. Burdens, disease, weakness. In this moment, he is proposing that they do to an unknown number of cats exactly what he commanded Thunder do to Frost.

Additionally, at this point in time, they don't know how the illness spreads. They're guessing that it's via contact with sick prey, and using leaves as rudimentary tissues/gloves. Clear Sky DOES know, though, these two things;

One Eye knows how it spreads and is not telling.

Many of his cats have been exposed.

He has no idea which cats have been exposed, or how many, or even how long it takes between infection and first symptoms. All they DO know is that symptoms are rapid onset and debilitating. By the time you know a cat is sick, they're covered in sores, have a bloated stomach, and are unable to hunt for themselves. The only thing that is for sure is that turning them out is a death sentence.

And yet he is confused at the idea that Thunder has an objection about leaving Morning Whisker, Wind Runner's kitten who isn't older than a month or two, alone to die.

The solution that the groups eventually come up with is that the clans will remain isolated from each other as to not spread illness, though it doesn't seem to work because infected prey still moves around freely.

Also note that the first time Clear Sky actually gives a damn about an infected person is when Jagged Peak's pregnant wife catches it (After Jagged Peak 'proves' he's useful now by leading a medicine-seeking patrol thanks to Gray Wing). Wind Runner's an "ex-rogue," a group Clear Sky has disdain for, and he doesn't think to have compassion about her baby.

So to answer your question directly, he was 'supposed' to handle it the way the Moor cats did and were, with some basic safety precautions. Not regress to trying to use the illness to get all the cats into a single Clan in his own territory where he could continue to throw "useless/dangerously ill/disabled" out into the wilderness "where the maggots will find them".

#tw medical gore #It's worse than I mentioned but I was trying to be brief about it #Because if I dove into every little thing that is SHOCKINGLY bad about Clear Sky I wouldn't be able to get through the book #I swear im trying to be charitable about the fact his first suggestion was just... #''Kill your sick friends and children and join a brand new camp in MY territory'' #''I totally won't assert myself as your leader and make you throw out your friends and family For The Greater Good this time'' #''I've been thinking it's a great idea to gather all of the cats in one spot as a contagious illness ravages the forest'' #''Don't worry we won't get sick because we'll leave all the weak people behind'' #You can think about this for more than 30 seconds and see it fall apart #So isn't it very very convenient that his ''i've been Thinking'' idea involves consolidating power under HIMSELF??? AGAIN????? #At *best* he is so stupid he is inventing a superspreader event #At minimum his plan involves killing a LOT of people via abandonment #And at worst it's actually just another ploy to gain power. But I have to rule that out even though it's the most interesting idea #Because it's Clear Sky Redemption Arc Time and the writers are dead set on not letting him be an interesting character

[captainshyguy]

i do wish that people hadnt been so rabidly critical and vicious towards steven universe back in the day, because now it feels like u cant discuss any parts of the show u didnt like without getting lumped in with those guys lol

#like idk man i liked the show a bunch #but i did also fall off becayse like. yeah i can see the tragjectory of the show now! #i can see that it was always gona be about this broken family of the diamonda and all that #but like. idk man. i tend to prefer when we focus on the little guys #and yeah we did do some of that. but that (planned) swerve near the end there really lost my interest #like i know rose being pink does make her infiitely more complex and its a fine choice to make but it still didnt do anythng for me #i still would have mich preferred to focus on the corrupted gems #on the people with no power in this struggle #its lik how i understand that the diamonds are basically a metaphor for someones like. bigoted aunt or something #but that still doent mean that i like that the people who razed dozens of planets to the ground were given time and priority #over the footsoldiers man!!! #like yes yes i get it its a metaphor its a escalation what else where they gonan do but like idk man i can still not like that turn!! #i can still wish they just....idk overthrew them or bubbled them or something. idk pull an anndrias from aphibia. community service lol #i can still wish that steven had healed the corrupted gems like it felt like it was foreshadowed #(since. yknw. rose can heal physical things- and stevne can a bit too but he can astral project into -peoples minds.) #and the corruption was an inury of the mind first and formost. #like. why would u set that up and not do that jgsnsgknkjdnjkgds #i can stil lthink the proportion inconsistenies were weird and too me out of the moment #eh idk its frustrating #like it feels like u say somehng like this and u have one guy going 'ikr the ahow SUCKED steven shoulda KLLED THEM' #and another going 'omg its a KIDS SHOW SHUT UP FORVER NO CRITICSM' #abd im sitting here in the middle like i tihnk theres some nuance here lads. i think we can habe a middle ground #luke rambles

[g36a2]

not the worst of lapham's crimes but tommy's short hair being a symbol of recovery was evil.

#this with tommy's ''saving the world'' line is so. #it should have been longer at the wedding. #g36a20p027 #like he doesn't get to keep any of the personality we saw him have prior to his recovery! #''a healthy happy man would not think badly of his brother's military service!'' all that really was the drugs + riley sr speaking #what about loving your brother despite believing the path your father's abuse has set him on is the wrong one... same as you? #what about reckoning with the fact that some of the things your abusive shithead father said were right? #tommy and riley sr shit on simon's service because they wanted to hurt simon. so it would have been the perfect plot twist #had tommy retained those views once recovered and in a better place. impactful even #but of course not. riley sr said those things BECAUSE he is an abusive shithead. and tommy because he was in a dark place #and it's so much more compelling to jumpcut to the most cartoonishly happy family of all time being fridged #like man simon changes the trajectory of tommy's life by loving him and staying with him through the worst of it #meanwhile tommy changes simon's life by fucking dying. and it's tragic but for me the emotional impact of this tragedy is tainted #because out of cowardice the writers kill tommy riley twice #first by discrediting what he stood for while an addict and only then by actually killing him off #you can even still kill him off. simon and tommy have a row about his being in the military and then boom dead family #keep everything about tommy as seen in the comics except have him be a counterweight to simon ''i kill killers not arabs'' riley #extra angst extra unfinished business AND tommy's character is not assassinated #FUCK! the comics could have been GOOD! #this is the exact same reluctance to depict anything even remotely anti-war that led mw3r's dogshittification #which is bizarre since my anti-war tommy conspiracy could still be vindicated through pro-boot eyes #since his role is to die his character coulda had a saving pvt. ryan-esque ''the naive are destroyed by the peace they advocate'' type deal #like them not having tommy believe the things he did post recovery reveal a genuine contempt for anti-war thinking #it's like the writers genuinely thought they wrote tommy overcoming multiple character flaws. nightmarish! #so i guess tommy's short hair is one of lapham's worst crimes as it reveals a disturbingly sincere veneration for the status quo during #twenty-fucking-ten of all times!!!

[vvanessaives]

i was tagged by @shadowglens and @risingsh0t to make some ocs in this picrew. thank you so much besties, i loved this picrew so much!! <3

vesper moxley (cp2077) • victoria gray (cp2077) joelle knight (fo4) • nina bower (fo4) selene (oblivion) • hiraeth (skyrim)

tagging: @uldwynsovs @arklay @devilbrakers @nuclearstorms @morvaris @girlbosselrond @indorilnerevarine @moiragf @cultistbase @faarkas @steelport @nokstella @reaperkiller @malefiicarum @brujah @calenhads @lightwardens @aelyosos and whoever else wants to do this or that i missed bc i'm terribly forgetful sorry!!

#tag games #warning i accidentally infodumped in the tags i'm sorry ignore me 😔 ckjsdhdskj #made this based on relationships idk why jdksd. victoria is vesper's bestie 4 life & first gf. joelle & nina my fave wlw married couple #and then for the last one. listen. i've resurected a very old oc and i'm still not so sure but i miss skyrim so bad. they idea is that #they are related as in hiraeth is a descent of selene bc i think dragonborn=martin septim's child> family line going forward until we #have our little hiraeth. i never thought of selene & martin having a kid in canon (only stupid ideas of an au) but u know. what if. she #still ends up in the shivering isles tho and becomes sheogorath. hiraeth's bloodline having like an emperor & a daedric prince. OK KING!! #much to think about tbh. not sure if they/she(probably he too. thinking of their gender as therapy for myself) will stick as nord or maybe #wood elf too like selene. or maybe even dunmer?? it makes no sense fjkdfhk IDK. literally i HAVE so much to think for them #also their name came to me bc i read the welsh word Hiraeth that basically means 'a mixture of longing yearning nostalgia homesickness' #+ 'an expression of an empty desire and grief over a past life or place' and with drangonborns i like to push the idea of 'maybe they were #actual dragons in a past life and now human' u know?? so i thought it was sooo fitting. i also like the idea of the more dragon souls #they absorb the more their features turn..dragonesque?? draconic jkfdhfkdsj idk i love them very much (: #(i have no idea how dragon in past life + martin's bloodline can fit but i'm literally only vibing rn) #i want to replay skyrim SO bad but i need someone to hold my hand so tightly as they help me set up mods for this game bc i never played #skyrim with mods (collective gasp) and i have no idea of what to pick ecc especially bc everything..breaks with a snap of fingers so yea ri #SORRY for talking so much i get excited about new things (my oc in this case) so easily.. #oc: vesper #oc: victoria #oc: joelle #oc: nina #oc: selene #oc: hiraeth #ALSO FUCK OFF JOELLE IS SOOOOOOOOO CUTE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

[girlcrushau]

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/ #but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to. #until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you) #and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text. #i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in. #just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me. #im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest. #and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am