#onset of DID

[unwelcome-ozian]

Hi, are you a professional? I ask as I saw you state some things I don't agree with and am curious (not attacking!). One that stood out was saying specific ages RAMCOA and DID can occur. Saying one must be before 8, but the other 9. In much of the recent research, there are questions over the age of DID being able to occur, saying that it can not be defined and will differ amongst patients as we are all unique. Of course it will be early childhood. But being specific to age 9 seemed odd to me, when more recent research shows otherwise. I'd just be curious to know if there are areas of research I'm not aware of. Thanks in advance!

Hello,

I don’t share any personal or identifying information. I will say, I’m not a doctor or psychiatrist.

Dissociative identity disorder is the result of repeated or long-term childhood trauma. It cannot form after 6 to 9 years of age. Source

Research has shown that the average age for the initial development of alters is 5.9 years old. Source

In five plus years of research, I've only seen this before-the-age-of-nine specification challenged by those who believe nine is too old. I wouldn't be surprised if there are exceptions, but as a general rule, DID doesn't develop in adults or older children. DID develops in early childhood. Source

A retrospective review of that patient’s history typically will reveal onset of dissociative symptoms at ages 5 to 10, with emergence of alters at about the age of 6. Source

Early childhood is a pivotal period of child development that begins before birth through age 8. This is a period of rapid brain and body development. Source 

Part of the age for TBMC is so the programmes, script, and alters can be completed. The early age is to ensure there is time for this.

No worries about your ask. Feel free to send me the links to the information you’re talking about.

Oz

#answers to questions #DID #Age of DID #onset of DID #early childhood

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Lackadaisy Enrichment

#in our enclosures!! #video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right #lackadaisy #WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic #like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet. #the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me #like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but. #good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort??? #and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it.. #if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also #juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story #and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like #take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol #namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other #which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky #have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the #comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another.... #For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's #historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol #like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret... #Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery #which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah #anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots #sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps #and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill #and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have #you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas #SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later

[bonefall]

what’s up with BB! Puddleshine? been having thoughts about him recently lol. i find it funny that rowanstar grabbed this random child from the nursery and was like ‘bam here’s our brand new doctor and spiritual leader everyone’

(*shaking twelve year old in the background*)

You know what's pretty cool about AVoS, buried underneath the slog of it all? The thing I keep going back to about this arc, in spite of how annoying it is to be forced to say in ThunderClan as everything interesting happens off-screen?

The way that so, so many young warriors are horrifically traumatized by both the structure of the Clans, and the Kin that they turn to.

It's a shame that the Erins were so committed to the idea of the Clan social structure NOT being the problem, because this whole arc is a perfect time to show how flawed it structurally is. LET these kids have a point, that maybe they were rebelling against something broken, but Darktail was a malicious actor who exploited their naivety to serve HIS ends.

A recap of what's happening in BB!AvoS before I explain my intentions with the Puddy Boy;

The big problem that I want Rowanstar to display is a problem that ALL the leaders of this time period also have. Commitment to Clan rivalry.

After Firestar was killed in AVoS by Dark Forest warriors, Bramblestar considers diplomacy secondary as a tactic. "ThunderClan will not be bullied any longer. We have been too soft with the other Clans for too long; and they have humiliated us by taking advantage of our kindness." (Note: Harespring and Breezepelt being part of the assassination patrol is not revealed until TBC. For MAXIMUM drama reveal.)

He escalated a border dispute that Firestar had worked closely and intimately with ShadowClan to resolve; a fight for a knoutberry patch on their border, just before Winter.

After Russetfur died in this painful battle, Blackstar backslid hard from his redemption arc. This caused the Thunder/Shadow alliance to dissolve towards the end of OotS, ending a friendship between the two Clans that had lasted through all of Po3.

He was open to Sol's manipulation, and while Tawnypelt was trying to fight the Dark Forest trainees who took over ShadowClan in the meantime... Rowanclaw became deputy by organizing a patrol of cats to remind Blackstar how much he means to them.

So Rowanstar inherits the Clan with this in mind. ShadowClan solves SHADOWCLAN'S problems. "ThunderClan had a quarrel with WindClan, but decided that we were their enemy. Leaving ourselves open for betrayal was a mistake; if we cannot handle our own problems, we will inevitably succumb to them when our so-called 'allies' don't come to help." (Note: he isn't completely wrong. His words are borderline prophetic for what's about to happen.)

Onestar has a smug chuckle at this. Since taking leadership, he's been appealing to the strongest, hardest members of his Clan. Those who once tried to kill him for his "weakness" in the Civil War. The "lesson" ShadowClan learned is one that he's known since the day Onewhisker died and Onestar was born, on the night of that sabotaged muirburn. "That so-called peace was always a farce. We are warriors of the four Clans; it was always going to come down to honor, and putting ourselves first. My WindClan isn't foolish enough to pretend like ThunderClan ever acted in anything but their own, hidden self-interest."

And Mistystar respects the direction Bramblestar has taken his Clan in, and approves of the "honesty" that the Clans are now showing. "As the branches of the honeysuckle fight and win the light for themselves, sometimes there are beautiful flowers that die in the shade. We can mourn the end of an era, and prepare for a future that will be made all the sweeter for our shared struggle. This is the way of the Clans, and StarClan's solemn light shines upon us all." (Note: god I love writing Misty's speeches)

In the family tree reworkings, Rowanstar is now the brother of Littlecloud. Sons of Brokenstar, honor-sired for Newtspeck.

Littlecloud... is suffering from early onset Alzheimer's.

He didn't want to choose an apprentice after Flametail's horrible death, heartbroken and stressed out, especially when he couldn't reach his nephew through contact with StarClan.

He can't remember, anymore, that Flametail was freed. He keeps forgetting this, over and over

He keeps ending up in different times of his life, where he's best friends with Cinderpelt and still calling Leafpool by her pre-Honor Title name, where he's inventing a mobility device for Wildfur, where he's still escaping the plague and before he knew his mentor caused it, where he's on the Great Journey...

Rowanstar is in a lot of pain, watching his brother forget so many things, scared and confused half the time. He doesn't want to believe that this is really the end, or that... many of these cats are now so young they can't recognize the various eras that Littlecloud is finding himself in.

Puddleshine and Slatefur are going to remain in Pinenose's litter. Either Lion or Birch MIGHT get shuffled to another one; and ALSO the shuffler might survive the Kin. (SO voice which one you want to survive, if you have a preference!)

SO, Violetshine has either two or three adopted siblings... plus another.

Pinenose's oldest surviving child is Happypaw. Happy is the half-sibling of Puddle/Slate-- the death of Weaselkit in the Great Battle caused his parents (Pinenose and Owlclaw) to break up.

(this is why I'm thinking about just reducing the litter to Puddle/Slate, so Violet has three major adoption-siblings to remember instead of four.)

And now we're ready to talk about Puddleshine.

He isn't the first young cat to be shoved into an extremely high-pressure position because of a Cleric becoming incapacitated. Kestrelflight was also forced to become the holy speaker of his people when he was far, far too young, after Barkface died in TNP. He dealt with this obediently, with only Jayfeather ever really being able to get him to think about it in a different light.

Unlike Kestrel, Puddlekit did voice that he was interested in becoming a Cleric, in BB. But he was too young to be properly making that choice, to know what he was getting into. He mentioned it practically offhandedly, and BOOM Rowanstar had rolled him into the position.

But Puddlepaw has a deep sense of responsibility. "Wise beyond his years"-- likely because of how tumultuous his home life was.

His mother's oldest child, Happypaw, was openly a bully of his half-siblings. Pinenose distanced herself from him as a result, causing Happy to be closer to Owlclaw, who was still not over Weaselkit's death.

But Puddle's Ba Spikefur is not a cat who handles his kit's emotions well. Instead, he encourages ambition, tells him to get back at his half-sibling by being more influential than that twerp could ever be.

Puddle will often go to Violet, the new POV, to vent about these things.

And one thing he mentions to her is how amazing Kestrelflight is, when he gets to meet him at the half-moon conferences. He learns SO MUCH from him, it's like he GETS what he's going through...

Puddle doesn't even feel sure that Littlecloud knows what he's doing anymore. If he's learning the right information at all.

But Rowanstar won't DO anything about Littlecloud-- and he CERTAINLY isn't about to let Puddlepaw go train under someone else's Cleric.

As a result of this, Puddlepaw becomes a VERY important member of Sleekpaw's little group. He wasn't one of their friends to begin with, buuuuut...

When he sits to chat with Sleekpaw and Needlepaw, with Happypaw good and far out of earshot, she makes a lot of sense.

A LOT of it.

ShadowClan is run by old men who don't know what they're doing. Rowanstar is too emotional to make good choices. Puddlepaw, barely even old enough to begin apprenticeship, is running all the medicine for an entire Clan.

And, sure, he doesn't have much in the way of a connection to StarClan, no, just a little more spiritual than the average cat...

But who can point this out? If Littlecloud is slowly losing his mind anyway?

"It's not right, how much pressure's on you," Sleekpaw growls, "And it wouldn't be this way if we could challenge Rowanstar. You should be training with Kestrelflight right now."

"But we're dealing with the shells StarClan dealt, and the Clan is looking to you now," Needlepaw points out on behalf of her friend, "You have much more sway than you know."

This time around for BB, Sleekpaw starts as a young hero. She's right. Rowanstar should be challenged, his emotions are affecting the ENTIRE Clan, and Puddlepaw is in a bad position because of it. Needlepaw is like her best diplomat, surely to become her deputy someday.

They would have made an excellent set of leaders for ShadowClan. But they trusted the wrong person, and were exploited. When Darktail and The Kin came to the lake, they were swept up by it, and WindClan began an embargo.

Puddlepaw eventually oversees the Yellowcough Outbreak, and at first just thinks it's Greencough. He has no idea about strains, or the special types of Color Cough that Clan cats have historically dealt with. Even when he finally does learn it's not JUST Greencough, he's powerless to do anything about it. A lot of cats die because of the lack of mullein.

After that, with ShadowClan so weak and the Kin so strong... he's one of the cats who calls for the merge. The most important one, in fact, leveraging his position to say that this is StarClan's will.

Sleekwhisker and Needletail were right all along, and he's happy to stick it right into everyone's faces. Onestar's tantrum of an embargo killed his Clanmates, Rowanstar stopped him from properly training, he's been under pressure from the time he was small with Littlecloud not fit to be a mentor, and he's ready to welcome in ShadowClan's new era as something that is not a Clan.

...unfortunately, it turned out to be the wrong choice. Not because his thought process was wrong. But because Darktail had other plans in-mind.

#Also I did decide on it being early onset alzheimer's for BB!Littlecloud specifically #It means a lot to me... my great-grandmother had it in her last days. And it's very likely I'll get it someday too #and the line that leads from her down to me #it scares me. So I want to explore it. For myself #especially in such a terrible situation like this #BB!Puddleshine #obsessed with all of these children making big choices for their Clan and the way it's going to make them turn on their IDEAS #They were right. They were right to be mad at what they were mad at #But it was a bad actor who ruined it. #If I have to deal with a born-evil foreigner in BB. Then I'll lean into it. I'll reveal he wasn't such an outsider after all. #And I'll show that the xenophobic backlash was the WORST possible route for all of these cats to take #and yet... they do. They attack the one thing they felt they had control over #When the truth is that it wasn't their fault. #BB!Rowanstar #Better Bones AU #BB!AVOS #Their biggest mistake was being mislead. I hope Puddsy realizes that when he looks at Shadowpaw #Kindness for himself through kindness for another.

[uncanny-tranny]

Something interesting I've noticed about people is whether they view a diagnosis as prescriptivist or descriptivist.

Somebody who views a disability or illness as a matter of prescriptivism will often only believe somebody has a condition if they can prove it by way of a diagnosis. They will view a diagnosis almost as though it is given to you by a doctor or psychiatrist, that they are the people who can truly prove you are right or wrong, that they know best.

Somebody who views a disability or illness as descriptivist will see a diagnosis as, essentially, an official observation into behaviours or states of being that the person in question is experiencing. The descriptivist route entails the idea that somebody who will eventually be given a diagnosis is already experiencing something wrong, and that medical professionals ought to be working to observe all the symptoms the patient is experiencing and line them up with other observations (diagnoses) we have already observed in others.

I think it's important to recognize these two general attitudes about diagnosis. If you want to ally yourself with disabled people, it helps to learn how to view diagnosis as more in line with the descriptivist mindset, I think.

#disability #disability advocacy #and like as an example... my PTSD didn't magically appear when multiple mental health professionals noted it... #...i was displaying the symptoms commonly associated with PTSD and they lined their observations and my own observations in order... #...to deduce that i have PTSD and i struggle with it... #...the diagnosis did not induce the onset of PTSD... the traumatic situations did... #...so it's always *very* strange to me when people operate with the prescriptivist notion of diagnosis... #...i've talked about these ideas before but not really in this way and outlining each broad camp

[mikaila-orchard]

Considering the parting of ways with Lily and KP, I guess you're not a mod in her discord server anymore?

Oh hell no. I dipped the moment KP pulled that shit and I haven't looked back.

Fun fact about all that btw

KP KNEW about all these 'allegations'. We literally talked about it in a podcast abuse and dedicated harassment. We went over how easy it is to rouse a 'trans woman bad' bandwagon, to the point where it's literally baked into the campaign promises of conservative politicians.

KP only gave a shit about these allegations when they got in the way of her slinging shit at VivziePop. And even before then, she only interacted with Lily insofar as it would boost her platform. Like she was nakedly transparent about that even then, but we let it slide.

But then after diminishing returns and randos on twitter slinging 'whataboutisms' at her over Vivzie, suddenly being associated with Lily was a liability. Nevermind the fact that the video made by those goons was taken down because their 'triumvirate' fell the fuck apart. Nevermind the fact that the person who made these accusations openly confessed to doing the same heinous shit but 'it's totally different'. It effected her PR and that's all she cares about.

She's a fucking flake who only considers what will further her career which was already diminishing long before all this.

If KP ever makes a video about my wife, you'll know she's only doing it to get attention and notoriety.

#personal #I am fuming #I worked for that fucking woman #Lily and I stood by her while she was onset by hate mobs accusing her of slave labor #And she was barely a fair weather friend #all she cared about was promos and collabs #and of course we're going to be framed as the villains for being mad about all thise #while she's just going to say how 'disappointed' she is by the circumstances #cuz she couldn't even openly comdemn JK Rowling in the FUCKING VIDEO WE DID TOGETHER ABOUT HER BEHAVIOR TOWARDS TRANS WOMEN!\ #And now she's going to try and make another flimsy clickbait video about my wife #I am mad

[abbenai]

ohhh i see. i get it after you experience mania u may experience a severe crash in energy and mood *nodding sagely* why dont we all explode

#well at least all i really did was purchase a $20 thermal printer and make stickers and cook food #i dont like being at the age of onset for this much #words words words

[luvsavos]

i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness

my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me

i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3

#mar.txt #still very much upset about losing him，but it's kind of faded for numbness now #still not holding up great though especially considering how sudden it was #he was all fine and healthy and then just suddenly started to rapidly go downhill and within like. two days he was gone #he was so weak. couldn't move almost at all，his meows were barely just meow-sounding exhales. the last two things he did were #getting my attention so i would come to him，then attempted to crawl onto my lap and despite me being less than a foot away he couldn't make #it. so i brought him onto my bed on my lap with me. and then at some point later after another sudden onset of diarrhea (which seemed to #take absolutely all of his remaining strength) and i'd brought him back to my bed after cleaning the poop off of him he got my attention to #move his head so he could look up at me. and that's how he passed. looking up at me. #despite everything，he was purring. so weak and faint i could hardly feel it，but. he was purring，maybe until the moment he finally passed. #he was obviously suffering. and we couldn't afford to get someone to put him down so we just did what we could for him. #i'm glad that，at least，he was happy in his final moments. he wanted to be with me and i'm glad i could give him that. i HAD needed to go out #that day but i opted to stay home because i was worried he'd pass while i was gone. sure enough if i had gone out he would have. #i'm glad i could give him the comfort and company he wanted in his final moments. i'm glad i made him happy enough in them to purr even #despite how weak he was. i'm glad he didn't pass alone and possibly in pain. #ive lost a lot of pets in my life. but amos? he's only like. three years younger than me? we practically grew up together. ive known him his #entire life. no amount of being told it hurts to lose a childhood pet will ever compare to the reality of it happening. #i buried him outside my window. so he's close to home. #vent post? i guess?

[fisheito]

A little something I made on June 24 2023. Just so u know.

#tracking the illness onset compared to when i started the game. how long did it take for me to change my stance on him? #i joined during the original mystical banquet so... May 2022? #hmm. #yakumo

[variousqueerthings]

not negating that chris eccleston had a bad time on dw and rightfully wouldn't want to work with that team again for his own sake (minus billie i assume), but i have reservations about people in fandom jumping on the "yeah rtd is a dick who's incredibly hated in television actually, it's just a big secret," train when i have never heard anything to that effect outside of this working relationship that ended poorly and that as far as im aware rtd has never spoken about, so it's still a relatively private affair (of which we know a scant few details/that rtd didn't stick up for eccleston when he needed that support). i mean, he might be the worst guy ever, i've never worked with him, but i don't think the people saying this have either, and i think it's way too easy for people to assume the worst and go looking for confirmation bias, because it can justify their own dislike of rtd as a showrunner or his return as pure "nostalgia baiting" (that's another post). but yeah, if i see one more person go "oh i just have a feeling he's probably an asshole actually and the fact that we know that eccleston doesn't like him (as if that's new news) confirms that" as a roundabout way of going actually his era of the show wasn't that good or that him coming back to the show is a mistake, im simply not taking that seriously. just say you don't like the writing or whatever, don't make up a guy to personally dislike. there'll be another showrunner after him.

#honestly i think -- i hope -- that rtd wont stay on the show for too long and that itll be passed on to someone else #because i think it's time for a new generation to take over generally i think it's been in the hands of people who #grew up watching classic!who for about long enough #im not thrilled about the disney stuff (which idk if that had anything to do with him anyway but i hope it gets challenged) #but ive never heard a mutter or a rumour that he actually sucks and is terrible to the people he works with #but hey show me a mutter or a rumour id be interested #doctor who #dw #rtd #russell t davies #i often see people going *the whole martha thing* and im like... you mean freema agyeman? martha isn't real #did freema agyeman say something? i think that would be relevant if she did 100% #but when you say martha i assume you mean the writing of martha was flawed and yeah at times it really really was #at times it was pretty good especially from a character development perspective #and mainly the fandom was super racist and awful to freema #if that was reflected onset id be curious to know more

[simplydnp]

i hate the medical system <3

#sooooooo tired of old men talking to me like a child #i have two fucking degrees my guy. and one of them is pure mathematics. #dont explain things like im four and then go 'mmm i dont believe you' when i answer honestly. #i promise you. none of whatever the fuck youre doing. has anything to do with my sudden onset nerve pain. i promise. #its also exceptionally cool to be like 'hey have you broken your nose its like really crooked' #and also #'did you hit your head as a kid' because despite the several xrays. and doctors. and chiropractors ive had over the years. #apparently ive got a thick skull (bahduhmtss) #and when i say no i havent had any traumatic injuries like that. hes like mm well sometimes you just need time to remember #bestie i am twenty three years old. that is not a lot of years to recall. ive never had a concussion (or even close to) or motor accident. #i promise you if it happened @ birth it doesnt suddenly just present as nerve pain with absolutely no goddamn trigger. illness or otherwise #im sooo tired of the fighting. so tired of explaining the story over & over & over again. so tired of forms & questions & no fucking answers #c.text #illness tw #medical tw

[fecto-forgo]

on the topic of the aero aesthetic my feelings on it r a little funny bc i was actually a little shocked to find out thats the windows customization other 2000s old web ppl consider The y2k PC thing bc.if i recall correctly it wasnt just my family that went through this the whole country had a kind of technology rush during the 2000s, so from kindergarten to fifth grade i had already experienced windows 98 to windows 7 which makes my brain see "old computer" n think of our ancient 98 PC, so while other ppl think "y2k computer aesthetic" n think of aero i think that n think of that peculiar green n gray color scheme.its just funny aero feels a little too modern for me bc of all that i need my computer set to the opaque options or its just wrong

#analiceoriginal.txt #god i loved that thing i remember.i think it was my uncle? who drove over w a computer n i rushed to the car to see what he bought #n i was all WHATS THAT WHATS THAT IS THAT A COMPUTER #my aunt installed some emulated atari games n would call me over to play them n i was obsessed w the forest n robber ones #the one w that rly weird dragon sprite n the castle fascinated but also scared me #i also loveeed that version of paint w the spray can that would leak downwards i thought it was so stylish #'werent you guys poor how the hell did get that many computers' thats a great question baby. #sadly i dont know the answer to that i was busy having child issues like having to eat my carrots n having early onset psychosis to ask #any adults abt it

[batsinurbelfrey]

.

#mental illness sucks so much kuz ur friends are all out experiencing beautiful things and sometimes even sending you pictures #and yet you cant reply because unbeknownst to them you are stuck in a Friday night lay-in-the-dark-and-spiral episode #asking yourself like 'will the fact that I have to take so much benadryl cause me to get early onset alzheimers and rob me of my old age?' #'will my body break down before its time because of how hard it has always had to work just to keep me alive with my disabilities?' #'will i some day get ovarian cancer and die because it kept getting written off for a decade like my pcos did?' #'is my birth control going to kill me? apparently the brand I'm on is really dangerous' #'what if after everything ive done and fought through. i don't even get to live the life I've been working towards?' #and other shit like that on repeat until you like. throw up or pass out #sometimes i almost miss being severely depressed because at least in a way i almost had more peace then. at least around the future and #death concerns. since i. yk. didnt care if i lived or died vs caring SO much- #vent #personal

[youngpettyqueen]

I got my hands on a proper pair of compression gloves and these things are a GAME CHANGER for crochet holy shit

#I did have one compression glove but it was for my right wrist specifically #cause I have early onset carpal tunnel <3 #but it wasn't really doing all that much I was finding #and my knuckles kept locking up during longer crochet sessions #so I got a pair that go on my fingers and WOW #ive been crocheting most of the day today and its gone like a dream #knuckles aren't locking up things aren't trying to pop out of place #I wore them yesterday as well for a bunch of sewing and they were great for that too #game changer and a life saver truly

[jackies-ear]

Had group therapy in person for the first time (its been going ~2mo)

We were talking abt like supporting each other and p much everyone was like ‘yeah jack u dont talk much yet were still tryin to figure u out’ and then i had to fucking respond to that but was so nervous bc i was on the spot that 1- stutter was fully out like i couldnt get a word out fluidly and 2- stimming was also fully out

So i think that told them a lot abt why i dont speak up a lot

#but i did talk a lot more! #‘i just need to know what im going to say before i start talking’ #while not being able to get a fucking word out #but omg it was so much easier being in person #its a disfluency of some kind idk if i can call it a stutter #it started around the time of Sarahs accident? thats when i remember noticing? #and ive seen things w stress onset but they say it usually resolves #but this hasnt

[dicespam]

once i finish taking my exam tomorrow (later) (yes, on a sunday 😞) i’m gonna finish my wip ‼️‼️‼️

#ᨳ ✦ % : nine’s journal 🎨 #also i hate it cause how am i going to act normal in uni like #i had an intense leg day yesterday and it’s seeping in and #now both of my legs hurt so much #bro i fucking HATE delayed onset muscle soreness #but the same time i feel so proud cause ?? that’s the proof i did my workout !! #at the same time i’m in misery cause i can’t walk and i’m contemplating how am i going to go to my exam room… which is on the fifth floor #and there’s no elevators. #i love living

[gayjaytodd]

me: *28 year old, fully grown, adult man*

me on the phone with my mum: I frew up

#Jay talks #brought to you by sudden onset stomach bug #yes I did throw up and then I did call my mum to cry abt it #good news is there's nothing left in my stomach to throw up so hopefully I'll be alright tomorrow