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vagueandominousvibes · 1 year

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For the ask game, orchid and chamomile?

Hi! I was hoping someone would say orchid, purely because the one I bought back in October has been blooming since New Year’s!! (It’s got three flowers!!! and one bud still to open!!!)

Orchid ⇢ What’s a song you consider to be perfect?

I’ve got to say ‘Spanish Train’ by Chris de Burgh, who’s the only artist I’ve ever seen live (a friend and I went to see him in uni, were the only 20-something-olds in a horde of 50-and-older, and we had a fantastic time). ‘Spanish Train’ is one of those songs dad and I would blast in the living room after midnight, when we were home alone, or in the car when the speakers were working, and I absolutely love the alternations between the mellow spoken parts and the parts where de Burgh just goes all out.

The answer to the second question got kind of long, so I’ve hidden it in the ‘Keep reading’.

Chamomile ⇢ What were you like when you were younger? Do you think you’ve changed a lot?

I don’t know how much I’ve talked about it here, but I’ve for a long time been fascinated by how people change. You see it in my own fanfics (Arn’s arc in Just Close Your Eyes) and in some of my favourite novels (Apollo in The Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan). I’ve also grown up with a gestalt psychotherapist for a parent, which ... yeah. I suspect I was a bit of a lab rat growing up. At least mum used to tell me she studied psychotherapy to Help Me. (In her book, queerness and autism require Help.)

My own fascinating with change comes from, I think, putting a lot of effort into changing myself during my years in uni. For about four years, about fifty percent of my time was spent observing myself, reflecting on my behaviour, and figuring out Who I Was. What I discovered was that Baby Me (0–4) and Young Adult Me (20–25) were surprisingly similar (excited by everyday things, enjoyed crafts and baking, and loved music and aesthetic designs). Baby Me grew up on a small seaside farm above the Polar Circle, and in those four years, I realised I wanted to return to that farm — to live there, nurture it, and run writing retreats there. It’ll take a lot of work to get the finances to do so, but as long as the farm stands, I’ll return there.

But. Change.

Between Baby Me and Young Adult Me, there’s Teenage Me (5–19, technically ‘Child & Teenage Me’, but ‘Teenage Me’ for ease), and Teenage Me was not a good person. You know the idea of the Narcissistic Family? It’s the closest description I’ve found to explain the dynamics within my family. Teenage Me had an unfortunate obsession with wanting to make mum proud. As a result, I put others down in passive-aggressive ways and sought to make friends with “the right people” (as implicitly defined by mum: rich cis-het people, ideally white Christian). I was the Golden Child who achieved As and A*s in the majority of my subjects in school, I was always right, I was going to write novels, I was going to become a Professor and an artist, and I was going to have a brilliant future. (Ha. Ha ha. /s)

I’m still not sure how much of that was me and how much was mum, and I think that’s the rule for a lot of Teenage Me’s life: I had no idea where I ended and mum started, in terms of dreams, wants, and hopes. Honestly, it’s something I’m still struggling to untangle.

I like to think I’m moving away from my passive-aggressive ways, and that realising that I myself am not one of “the right people” has done wonders towards learning to value people for who they are rather than what they do and what they have. Setting boundaries is another new experience, and good gods it’s hard. Actually learning my own boundaries and being kind to myself is also really goddamn hard, and I’m still trying to figure out where the lines are between trauma bonding and info-dumping and just talking (is this info-dumping? or am I just talking? I’m answering a question and I have no idea). An unholy combination of depression and anxiety hasn’t made it any better.

That said, writing this today, I’m looking forward to the future. It’s raining outside, but I’ve had a clementine, I’m listening to ‘Champions’ by Kurt Hugo Schneider, and in a few hours I’ve got my first ballet class for beginners — something I’ve only recently worked up the courage to attend. I know I’m in my mid-twenties and that I’ve got years to grow and learn ahead of me. One day, I’ll reach a point of grounded self-assuredness. The depression and anxiety might never go away completely, and there are people I doubt will completely forgive me, but that’s part of growing and learning. It is for me to remember that every tree can be transplanted into better soil, and that there’s a sun above.

#kalh answers #cw narcissism #i'm honestly not even sure if i actually answered the question?#or if i talked in circles?#maybe it's an upward spiral and it feels like i'm in the same place where i started because i'm working through layers and it takes time #because i need to revisit thoughts and events again and again to fully process them #at least my partner thinks i'm a good person and i trust he wouldn't say that if he didn't genuinely believe so #so that's something to hold on to #thank you for the ask <3

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sinsydia · 1 month

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Am i the only one who imagined the first meet like this?? *swooon*

#sebastian sdv #sdv sebastian #sdv #stardew valley #stardew valley sebastian #i cant marry anyone else guys #its the dark circles around his eyes #the tiredness behind that crooked smile #keep talking in that aloof and condescending tone #I WILL MARRY THIS EMO

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ashleyloob · 2 months

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every time I see non Asians go by Asian names online I get whiplash bc I'm like o shit another one of me!! then I find out they are a white weeb from Arkansas going by Haru that can't name more than 3 countries in Asia

#ppl used to make fun of me for my ethnic name so now i go by a western one....#but now i guess ethnic names are cool again as long as ur not that ethnicity? we have come full circle #huge difference between cultural appreciation and surface level fetishization btw #this is specifically talking about those that dont actually respect asian culture & use it as an aesthetic or accessory

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chloesimaginationthings · 1 month

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FNAF movie Mike is suspicious of Lefty…

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kizzer55555 · 2 months

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DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter.

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge.

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game.

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely).

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

#DPxDC #dcxdp #Danny makes a card game to save the world.#Technically he worded the ritual so that they had to ‘beat’ him as those are the most powerful barriers and most reliable.#keys can just get lost or stolen (like the one to Pariah’s Coffin)#A riddle would be useless once someone figured out the answer. Like how no one takes the sphynx seriously anymore.#(Sorry Tuck. But it’s true).#And there is NO WAY Danny is just leaving a hole open for anyone to pass through. No thank you!#So…beating him. But it’s not like Danny wanted to fight so…he edited the ritual a TINY bit. Card games are good. Much less painful too.#Danny Tucker and Sam made the most complicated card game they could imagine.#It’s based on their strategies for fighting ghosts. Capturing them in thermoses. And MUCH based on a on field battle strategy.#It often requires spontaneous thinking on the spot. So Danny? In his ELEMNT. It doubles as practice for his actual ghost battles too.#They had SO much fun making this.#Sam added an entire series of plant cards that act as traps and healing ointments and duds that just take up the field.#Tucker added legitimate hyroglyphics combined with Latin as well as English and ghost speak.#Yes. You actually have to speak that language to play. With proper pronunciation. (Amity Parker’s think the three are talking gibberish.)#I headcanon Sam and Tucker are fluent in Ghost.#Constantine WILL figure this game out SO HELP HIM!#Some of the cards also have combinations related to constellations either in name or placement on the board.#By the way the board is based on a Hexagonal summoning circle with Rhunes along the edges #And the placement of the cards on the board and on what rhune MATTERS.#Also the cards move disintegrate and have certain abilities. Think of Harry Potter Wizard Chess.#But they are normal when Danny plays at school. This is just for ✨effect✨ Against invaders.#Danny faces multiple opponents. He also halts alien invasions.#While Danny COULD stop crime on earth he’s not sure how to fight a normal human and hold back so he sticks to ghosts.#The Justice league are going crazy trying to figure out who this entity is and after deep research are convinced this is some sort of #Ancient being who has protected earth for millenia. They have paintings on ruins and everything.#Danny is not aware they think this.#Raven starts praying to Danny as if he is a god and wrangles the other Teen Titans into doing so as well. Danny is still unaware of this.#Danny is not a King or an ancient. Just a very VERY strong ghost.

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iinryer · 1 month

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chimney gets to meet maddie because buck joins the 118, buck could join the 118 because tommy left for the 217, tommy can reconnect with the 118 after the hurricane rescue because chimney saved his life years ago, and this is why i think tommy should be the one to rescue chimney…. chimney gets to meet maddie because tommy leaves, and he gets to marry her because tommy comes back. in this essay i will

#FULFILL THE CIRCLE!!!#im sure other people have been talking abt it but i am EMO #iinryer post

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ruporas · 1 year

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asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)

[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.

The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.

Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."

A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]

[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #it took me so long to post this even after getting clarification about the maturity warning and stuff #bc i am so shy about it. SDGMKDSGMKSD I LIKE THIS COMIC BUT IM ALSO SO LIKE... AUGHHHH....#when i posted this on twitter though it was like... a few days after ep 11? ive always had the thought circling about vash deserving of #asking for things... and getting what he wants bc he never gets both. doesn't get the opportunity to ask and hardly does he get what he want #maybe the results can go in his favor but at some point along the way he'll still lose something bc nothing can ever go perfectly for him...#and he's usually the one begging and pleading with people to not. do something. it's not even asking at that point it's just straight up #please believe me. please trust me. please don't shoot that person. please don't kill anyone. please don't do it.#and wolfwood.... it was not always this lovey dovey ok. he wouldv noticed this habit miles away and they got into a fight about it the first #time they talked about it bc wolfwood is being hypocritical too. as he always is!!!! but i think as they get more intimate #wolfwood finds ways to make vash understand. smth smth insatiable want and love and desire for wolfwood that makes it much easier to ask.#wolfwood can also just be so compliant. sometimes. which is also an issue in of itself that id love to explore at some point #but he also just enjoys giving into vash fully and completely.#bc he loves him a lot. but anyway #i hope the id is comprehendible.... please lmk if there's something wrong with how im doing it asfdgkdsmgs #ruporas art

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kazz-brekker · 2 months

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each week i tune into shogun in order to see toranaga do the political equivalent of sticking out his leg and making eye contact with yabushige while yabushige trips over him

#i'm an episode behind currently #but i was very entertained by the scene where he was talking circles around yabushige while ferreting out who ordered the attack on jozen #yabushige would love to be a schemer but he is simply not on toranaga's level and it's so funny #pie says stuff #shogun #shogun fx #yoshii toranaga #kashigi yabushige

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ask-spiderpool · 1 year

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#ask-spiderpool #actually they're both idiots.#spideypool #main #i hope nobody takes these posts too seriously #these stupid little guys can't tell you how to label yourselves or what those labels mean to you personally #it's good for you to do your own research and experimentation and talk to people in those circles who can help you in your journey!

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moonstonediaz · 2 months

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Eddie, on his fridge, has a day calendar. Under a takeout menu…Thursday: B. B. P. U. double-U backslash Tommy. and it’s circled.

#i cannot get over buck’s scene with maddie #ITS CIRCLED.#911 spoilers #911 #evan buckley #t talks

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karliahs · 7 days

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shinsou midoriya bullied kid solidarity is the most important thing on earth in fact

#talking #bnha posting #it's about struggling to recognise how bad the things that happened to you were until you see it reflected in a friend #it's about having this thing in your past that feels too ugly and shameful to talk about until you find someone who really gets it #guys it's 2020 again in fact. my brain is eating itself. time is a flat circle #maybe i will make a reclist for this specific thing

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chronicallyabsent · 6 months

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i am begging. crying. Throuiwng up. Pleading for more of the one dodode.s.. the cring throwing up dyin go dodoels please. (IT IS OKAY IF NOT!! i love them so much. ive tried making my own i litearlly cant.. u got hte special ability 2 make them and i wish u the best... <3)

i'm gonna assume you're talking about the reaction images so here's some older ones that i got on hand. some of these just felt too specific to include in the other post

also peanut on skateboard emoji i saw in a dream one time

#if you WEREN'T talking about the reaction images then. idk i'll be posting more homestuck doodles anyways so whatevar ig #haven't drawn many new ones lately so it'll probably be a while till i drop more #only others i have are of me specifically rather than like. a little vague circle guy. could totally post those if anyone wants #few of these are real old #reaction image #ms paint #my art

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yaralulu · 22 days

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I desperately need a scene where the IC are having dinner and the topic of tamlin gets brought up and they start talking shit about him and going on about how he deserves everything thats happening to him and lucien’s just sitting there gripping his fork,jaw twitching,eyes simmering,hands shaking with rage as he tries so hard to keep his mouth shut because now is not the time to say something stupid—but they just keep talking and talking and talking until eventually he has enough and gives everybody a vanserra style telling off 😁.

#he’s a little protective of tamlin #just a little #it would go something like “if any of you even had a sliver of decency you wouldn’t be shit talking my friend right in my front of my face”#I mean did nobody teach you table manners?Mother above if you must speak of him atleast do it behind my back.”#“because quite frankly I will not sit here and tolerate anybody talking this way about my friend”#“You know some would say it’s quite stupid to badmouth someone whose the sole reason your highlord is even breathing”#ok enough #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #tamlin #pro tamlin #tamcien #pro tamcien #anti inner circle

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linddzz · 5 months

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Latest idea floating around in my head: a twist on the Hob saving Morpheus from the time-out ball, except that's where they first met each other.

Hob's still immortal, it's just that Death was the one who came and gave him the deal of meeting every 100 years

(is this also bc I'd love Death being Hob's centennial buddy? Her being way less reserved and straight up telling him who she is. Her delight at his delighting over life. The rage in him when Eleanor and Robyn die. Death took them and she wouldn't even say anything to him when she did it. Also I'd like to see him just immediately choke and squirm like a bastard as soon as he starts explaining his new shipping business to her in 1789. Yes and hell yes gimme Hobsie and Death as bros.)

So Hob is trying out new stuff again. He's never tried out being a magus and gets himself in as a member of Burgess' order and eventually an acolyte.

And then he's introduced to the "devil" that Burgess keeps in the dungeon. He's to help study up on strengthening the wards around the sphere and all that. And boy is he deeply, super uncomfortable with the sight of this frail man trapped in a cage.

("Don't let his pretty face fool you." Burgess will tell him, "the thing is a demon who would destroy us all if given half a chance."

To be fair, Morpheus does not help his case at all and his expression clearly says "you fuckin bet I will")

And Hob is Hob. So while he's working on studying up on wards (which so happens to involve a lot of careful, detailed study of the wards around the sphere) he's chatting at the thing in it. He complains about the boss, talks about the War, tells the demon about his day while the demon either glares at him or makes a hilariously big show of not paying attention. Sometimes Hob straight up shirks work (with a winking "you won't tell the boss right?") And just reads books.

And he nearly shrieks in surprise when he's reading some new novel called The Hobbit out loud and looks up to find the demon watching and obviously interested. So of course Hob is gonna keep reading him stories and keep studying those binding spells super closely.

And ok that's where I gotta admit the story doesn't have a solid conclusion in my head yet (besides obviously Hob is gonna bust Dream out and then get kissed a LOT) but I do have one bit where Morpheus first talks to him and of course it's just cryptic weird shit. Because Morpheus has started watching this shit-wizard who won't shut the fuck up back and can tell that something is OFF about him.

So just imagine Hob is yammering away about how he thinks the masters kid and the gardener have something going on, and he nearly shits himself when the "demon" presses a hand against the glass and says

"Death has touched you. I see it now. My siblings marks upon you. Is that what you are here for? To report to them? To let them see how low their family has come? So they do know what has come of me then, and they have sent you to chatter away and truly make it clear that they will do nothing."

Hob's just like. "WHAT?? SIBLINGS?! You TALK??! Hang on you know Death???!" But Morpheus already is back to curling in on himself in a furious pissy sulk

#dreamling #fic cooking #i imagine after Dreams outburst theres a lot more talking going on #idk if i have this fleshed out enough to fully write i just liked the idea of Hob reading Tolkien to the thing in the ball #and Morpheus being wooed with stories #the tension is ruined by me knowing that all it took was smearing the circle kdjfkd #maybe Hob purposely falls asleep to let Morpheus get out via his dreams

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boltlightning · 6 months

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