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tofixtheshadows · 1 month

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So I've been thinking lately about how Mithrun is Kabru's dark mirror (more on that another time- it needs its own post), and I thought it interesting that one of their parallels is that they were both cared for by Milsiril, but in opposite directions. She took Kabru in as her foster after he was orphaned and tried to convince him not to become an adventurer. On the flip side, she helped rehabilitate Mithrun specifically so that he could rejoin the Canaries.

And I kept wondering: why?

For Kabru, obviously she loves him a whole lot- despite any other shortcomings in their relationship, I do believe that.

So I get why she tries to convince him not to go dungeoning, and, failing that, at least prepares him as thoroughly as she can.

But why help Mithrun? She used to hate Mithrun, but after realizing what a secretly twisted person he was, she actually thought of him more positively (oh, Milsiril). So it wasn't as if she held the kind of grudge that might motivate her to make his already-depleted life even more miserable by sending him back to the dungeons. And it wasn't that she felt bad for him either, since she didn't visit Mithrun for the first ~20 years of his recovery.

The Adventurer's Bible says that Utaya was the impetus for Mithrun returning to the Canaries, but Milsiril is the one who made the trip to see him and tell him about it.

Why would Milsiril work so hard to get her old coworker back into fighting fit? Why encourage him to return to such a dangerous lifestyle, when she was the one who chose not to mercy-kill him?

That last panel is such a crazy thing to hint at and then never elaborate on. Without it we could have just thought that Milsiril wanted the Canaries' work to continue without her, even if it seemed out of character. I think some people even assume she's just a natural caretaker as a foster mom and handwave it to include nursing Mithrun too. What could Milsiril's suspicious motives be? What does she gain from Mithrun joining the Canaries that isn't an altruistic desire to see dungeons safely sealed? Feeling a sense of responsibility for the work she left behind isn't an ulterior motive.

My theory is: Milsiril, knowing that Mithrun was empty save for the burning desire to face the demon again, wound him up like a clockwork doll and pointed him back at the dungeons.

Hoping that he'd eliminate the biggest threat to Kabru's life, before it was too late for him.

Milsiril the puppetmaster.

#Dungeon Meshi #Dungeon Meshi meta #Mithrun #Milsiril #Kabru #btw I'm working with the only translations I could find sorry #so keep that in mind #like it just seemed WEIRD to me #that gloomy introverted Milsiril #who left the life of a Canary behind #decided to do this Canary-adjacent work of helping this guy #maybe the queen made her do it because so many people died and they needed more Canaries idk!#but why would anyone pick Milsiril as a life coach? I really think it was her own choice #it's so interesting how we get these hints of a downright sinster Milsiril #I really like the complicated relationship she and Kabru have #struggling to fully humanize him from her elven perspective #but still taking him seriously wrt: his fears over being a monster or his desire to go to a party!#crazy stuff there #everything about Kabru and adjacent to Kabru is insane what a character #musings with Dea

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odakota-rose · 2 months

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so many gems in the Doctor Who script library the BBC just released but today I'm here in 4x02, The Fires of Pompeii

#doctor who #donna noble #tenth doctor #the fires of pompeii #literally this is donna's second trip #the first time she met the doctor she saw what he was capable of #and this episode does that too but in a different way #somebody far more eloquent than i needs to elaborate on how this was on a small scale reminiscent #of what the doctor had to do to end the time war #(or at least at this point thought he did. not getting into the timey-wimey retcons rn)#and how he always seems to end up having to make these soulcrushing choices on his own bc that's what being the doctor means #but donna does something very different here and chooses to take half the weight of this impossible choice #and i am very 😭 about it #don't mind me just spiraling over a sixteen year old episode of doctor who on this fine thursday afternoon #as one does #wait.... it's tuesday. dammit.#my posts

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thebrainrotsreal · 14 days

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EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK!!! I want to be coherent about this season but please picture me foaming at the mouth and running on the walls. S2 being what if Mark's just like his Dad? Insanity. I love this show. Anyways, AU where an Evil!Mark tries to make Our!Mark worse, and Our!Mark tries to make the other better. Something something confronting your idea of the worst version of oneself. Plus, tweaked black and yellow costume because I saw it and immediately went murder hornet lookin' ass and knew I had to draw it. Evil ass Mark. Horrible. I think he should be dragged kicking and screaming into redemption.

#mark and the fact he is fighting for this fucking life to avoid the Many Bad Endings???? im pacing. getting out the red string.#when the season is about who you are and what you could become. when trying to be good is an active choice and a struggle.#RAHHHHHHHHHHH #chewing on the bars of my enclosure...when every mark is evil OUR mark is the outlier. the exception. the OTHER. RAHHHH #dog poetry being mark poetry because how often can you kick a dog before it starts snarling before you raise your hand?#how often can you beat it before it rips into you without mercy? when it bites not at your hand but at your neck?#when does violence for survival and violence for vengeance start and end? when your opponent is down and you keep drawing blood?#circling and pacing and losing my mind over this btw if you care #anyways self vs self gets me going crazy. did you know i loved the end of atsv? because it shows.#i think o!mark would lose his fucking mind at what evil wasp looking mark has done + this mf wasp would LOATHE mark's kindness #they both see the other as the WORST version of themselves and they can't stand it. They can't shatter the mirror but they think they can--#--change the reflection.#evil mark seeing mark and seeing what he USED to be #mark seeing what he COULD be #CAN U SEE THE VISION??????#digital art #invincible rotating in my mind #invincible fanart #fanart #mark my beloved #mark grayson fanart #mark grayson #invincible s2 #invincible show #mark like hello this is my secret twin and he is NOTHING like me hahahaha anyways wanna debate about having mORALS and LIFE #mark grayson vs the urge not to accept every responsibility as his own #he's batman coded that way #ok im done yapping #if this happened in the comics in any way shape or form dont tell me JACK SHIT or i will PUMMEL YOU with my SHOES

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humbuns · 1 year

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forget-me-nots; eternal love and devotion

Decided to share my piece for the collab I’m running for Malleus’s bday. Only one more week left guys, get your flowers in before it’s too late!!

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland malleus #malleus draconia #i been seeing everyone's flowers choices and i can't get over some of them #i only went with forget-me-nots though because i feel it's one of the few things he fears the most #to be a passing memory while his own stills feels new #maybe that's why i still drew him smiling because he is a little naive #but let's not get too critical in my tags lmao #art tag

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rebouks · 5 months

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Previous // Next

Oscar: I’m all for independence n’ shit, but if you’re pregna-… [Brynn shushed Oscar, flapping her hands as Darien paced past the window] Brynn: I go back very soon, when I have enough money. Oscar: You’re willingly going back to him? [Brynn’s brow furrowed offendedly, her feelings for Wyatt were genuine then…] Brynn: My business with him is not your business. [Oscar shrugged helplessly; she was right, it wasn’t any of his business-.. not really] Brynn: I know what he did to your Sandy – and to me, in roundabout way – was awful, but we are not black and white. I bet you have also done things you are not proud of; everyone has! Some worse than others maybe, but still… Brynn: You think by now I not know when a man is being sincere? Oscar: I’m not questioning you, I’m just tryna look out for you. Brynn: He must’ve been worried and tried to find me? Unless-.. did he ask you two to find me for him? Oscar: Bit of both. Brynn: Aha, I am sure you did not expect that… [Oscar wasn’t happy about it, but he was starting to believe that Wyatt and Brynn had genuine feelings for one another] Brynn: I not need saving-.. especially not from him, I am fine. Oscar: Come n’ have dinner with us at least? Courtney’s been worried about you. Brynn: I think Sandy suits her better… … [Darien loitered outside, uncomfortable around such a tangible reminder of his complicity-.. his involvement, especially with no one around to cajole him into thinking it was somehow justified] Vivienne: Zach! What’re you doing here? Your mom isn’t gonna like-… Zach: We both know she doesn’t give a shi-… Vivienne: Well, I do! Get upstairs. [Zach gulped; Vivienne meant business with that tone] Vivienne: How do you know Brynn? [Darien shrugged with a casual nonchalance, meeting Vivienne’s penetrative gaze steadily] Darien: She’s my friends’ girlfriend. Vivienne: I see… [Vivienne squinted slightly before heading back inside, almost walking into Brynn and Oscar] Vivienne: You good? Brynn: Mhm-.. I go to Oscar’s for dinner. Vivienne: Alright, take care… Brynn: Oscar is a fluffy marshmallow, don’t worry. Oscar: You’re not invited. Darien: I figured. Brynn: You not say anything yet, I go back soon and it’ll be a surprise-.. he knows I am okay. [Darien nodded, silently standing in situ as Brynn and Oscar disappeared. He ought to tell Wyatt they’d found her, but he’d probably appreciate it if he did as she’d asked. He decided he’d just have to keep an eye on her instead, remaining quiet for as long as she remained safe…]

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evilkitten3 · 2 months

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one pet peeve of mine in founders-era fanfics is when madara's whole,,,, everything is solved by izuna just being there

like maybe this is just me, but i don't think izuna surviving or even coming around to the idea of a truce with the senju would've been enough to keep madara from the path he ended up on.

izuna wasn't the reason he left - he was definitely part of madara's issues, but he wasn't the why. even if izuna had stuck around, and even if that had been enough to keep the uchiha clan from losing their faith in madara, i think he would've still come to realize konoha wasn't what he'd hoped it would be.

best case scenario, i think izuna's survival might've caused madara to stick around a bit longer, but i don't think it would've lasted. honestly, even then, that might've just made the inevitable break-up between madara and hashirama even more agonizing (particularly for izuna)

it's a fun idea to play around with for sure, but frankly i don't think canon!madara could've ever been 'saved' from that path. certainly not if the hidden village system ended up getting set up in the same way.

#naruto #naruto shippuden #meta #uchiha madara #uchiha izuna #senju hashirama #from the moment madara was born into that world he was doomed to walk that path i think #most fics that have izuna live and madara still leave that i've seen keep izuna's death as the catalyst. but moved down a bit #which i understand #but imo it'd be more interesting to explore how izuna would feel about his brother's choice #bc as much as people like to view izuna as like a super big bro supporter. he really REALLY isn't #his loyalty is to the uchiha clan #we're explicitly shown that if forced to pick between the clan's interests and madara's dream izuna will pick the clan #both as a kid when he and tajima fought tobirama and butsuma #and as an adult when he used his last words (or the last words hashirama ever heard from him) to further that divide #the clan chose konoha over madara. and i think izuna - as against the idea as he was to begin with - would've also #not bc he doesn't love his brother. bc his loyalty is and always will be to the uchiha clan #hell madara was the same until he was physically forced to stop #first by hashirama trying to use his own life as a bid for peace between their families #and later by the uchiha clan's rejection of madara himself #madara is like. if the doomed hero trope was the antagonist #having said all of that zetsu was never going to let izuna live bc he needed madara to get the eternal mangekyou sharingan #and izuna was the only one of his siblings who lived long enough to see him get the regular sharingan. so it had to be him #but like i said even if that weren't the case it wouldn't have mattered #madara believed that the end - the world of dreams - would justify the means. if izuna hadn't given up his eyes freely...#well. it's not like people didn't end up thinking madara had taken them anyway #i don't think even naruto could've saved madara really #the only thing anyone could've saved him from was dying alone #which is what would've happened if everyone except him was in the infinite tsukuyomi when kaguya came back #and honestly even tho all three of his deaths had other people there (hashirama then obito then hashirama again)

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danthropologie · 7 months

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Ricciardo opens up on his McLaren departure: “I didn't care anymore" | Goodwood Road and Racing

#daniel ricciardo #m:sm #dan #red bull redux #HELLO???????#i know people have posted parts of this but it's NOT ENOUGH!!! THERE'S SO MUCH MORE!!!!#and even this i would say isn't all of it #the christian of it all!!! the simon of it all!!!! going back expecting ridicule!!!! so fucking loved and doesn't even know it!!! INSANE!!!#also that first quote about christian specifically mentioning simon is soooo like. simon IS coming back and daniel's gonna make sure of it #whether that's convincing simon to do it of his own volition or just reiterating over and over how impactful that was for him #to the point where OBVIOUSLY christian is going to have no choice but make the executive decision that simon needs to come back temporarily #just to help daniel ease the transition back #but of course all of this is happening knowing that the second simon gets a taste of that magic again there's no way he's giving it up 😈

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ziracona · 2 months

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Mike missing his shot to kill Hector and change the trajectory of his life and stay the man he wanted to be, because Ignacio got in the way and he wouldn’t shoot through him

Mike missing his shot to kill Walt and change the trajectory of his life from death to anything else, because Jessie got in the way and he wouldn’t shoot through him

#better call Saul #breaking bad #mike erhmantraut #Mike missing his shot to save his son and ruining his own life and three others in one moment and then refusing to ever kill his son again #but because he never quite understood which chocie it was that killed his son still still for all his love and all his effort it’s never #quite enough. because it wasn’t the warning mike. it wasn’t what you said. it’s all the other things that made you the person who said it #you try so hard but you still can’t see the line. and because of that your tragedy repeats again and again #Jesse in s5 outside smoking while you all disintegrate a 12 year old in a barrel of acid because he’s the only one in the room with a #fundamental understanding of which choice it was. which is why he’s the one who survives and can start over #he knows what the mistake was

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thecruellestmonth · 11 months

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Do you guys really believe that killing is the singular bad thing that cops do?

Or even that killing is the most frequent bad thing that cops do?

Are you saying that if cops didn't kill, then they'd be the same as Batman? Because then you're suggesting that effectively Batman already is a cop, with the exception that he hasn't killed (just like the majority of U.S. cops, who have never once shot or killed anybody).

I'm a bit worried to see opinions suggesting that only killing is wrong—and that violence, stalking, and humiliation are okay. In real-life, police commit countless acts of those "little" abuses, terrorizing entire communities, before they murder anybody.

Invading people's privacy is wrong. Hurting people to the point of hospitalization is wrong. Forcibly drugging people is wrong. Putting people in cages is wrong. Torture and "enhanced interrogation" are wrong. Ambushing people in their homes and safe places is wrong. Keeping inexhaustible wealth is wrong.

Superhero comics are power fantasies. Not all fantasies need to reflect our ideology in reality. But once you apply your real-life values to fiction, once you decide that fiction showcases exemplary real-life ideology—then your praise for Batman's ideology does become a worrying reflection of your real-life understanding of social issues.

#copaganda #Bruce Wayne critical #GCPD #fandom discourse #Batman copaganda #police brutality cw #Almost sorry to drag serious discussion of copaganda into ridiculous superhero comics but I swear the other guys started it first...#To be clear I'm completely disinterested in condemning or interrogating Bruce over his personal choice not to kill.#But I am so fascinated in how he justifies his own use of violence and privilege!!! So very very fascinated!!#Once again: LESLIE THOMPKINS IS RIGHT.#Actually I'm not gonna tag this post as @nti Bruce W@yne--because really I enjoy canon Bruce a hell of a lot more than his stans do lol.#Sorry but Batman isn't a darling anti-cop revolutionary. If he were then he'd get in line behind Green Arrow and like the Invisibles.#I mean maybe The Audio Adventures version is anti cop but still in a free-market libertarian power fantasy kind of way if you can dig that.#violence mention cw #murder mention cw #fandom drama #This is why Cheer doesn't work because Red Hood realizes 'Oh I don't want kids to lose their parents like I lost mine--#--therefore I won't murder anymore. It's time to put my faith in the system. 👼👼👼'#Jason sweetie... you lost your father firstly to criminalization and incarceration for property crime.#You lost your mother to poverty and addiction. You are actually not like Batdaddy and your trauma is not a mere echo of his trauma.#Batman discourse

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literallyjusttoa · 1 year

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Headcanon based on something I just drew.

When Apollo is annoyed he rants, when he’s angry he yells, but when he’s truly furious, he’s completely silent.

Many a mortal have died to nothing more than the sound of an arrow being let loose. In his rage, Apollo deemed their lives, and their deaths, unworthy of his voice. No requiem for the wicked.

#something something #the confrontation after Apollo kills the master Cyclopes #Zeus is yelling and screaming and so furious #and at the foot of his throne apollo stands silent and unapologetic #and for the first time Zeus realizes he might’ve pushed his son too far #so he attempts to cast Apollo to Tartarus to fix his mistake #but throughout all his threats Apollo remains silent #too far gone in his rage and grief to even care what his fathers punishment might be #this specific moment is so important to me bc it must have been such a breaking point in their relationship #but it’s mentioned so little #it’s the only time (as far as I know) Apollo makes the choice on his own to strike against his father #even if it isn’t against Zeus directly we know from the books it was an attempt to get rid of his power over Apollo #and that’s the one thing Zeus is terrified of #anyways #working on toapril a bit early ;)#I’m deluding myself into thinking I can do every day woop woop #trials of apollo #toa apollo #lester papadopoulos #sunny speaks #headcanons

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ccarrot · 11 months

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genuinely sorry abt being annoying about this but I cannot ever get behind the idea of mori being abusive to skk. If someone starts on how dazai's been tortured by mori have to click off immediately, i just cannot do it with that. Dazai doesn't hate mori because mori hurt him, it's because mori betrayed his trust! It's an emotional wound! Mori would never TRY to hurt dazai, not only is that a highly impractical idea, he really does like the kid! Mori ain't the monster y'alls are making him out to be.

#unimportant #bsd #alsoalso! I think it should be a more recognized point that nearly everything that Dazai goes through is his explicitly own choice #all his crimes and his own suffering and all the good things he's done too! they're all dazai's choices #dazai has the MOST control over the plot #ppls looove taking his agency away huh?#mori #dazai

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puhpandas · 7 months

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And How Big The Little Things Can Be

(2,196 words)

Evan reminisces over how cold his house feels compared to Gregory's warm one, and gets some help when his emotions over it all get too much to control. Oh, and its also Halloween. 🎃

Evan has always hated the cold.

His father will keep the house at below sixty constantly. Both his father and Michael like it that way. They like the house being so cold it nips at Evan's ears even during Winter.

It's why when Evan first got the chance, he'd used the little amount of money he'd made on his own to buy a couple sweaters. His clothes had already been getting too small because of his growth spurt, but his Father wont take him to buy a new wardrobe until he physically cant fit into them anymore, or he looks ridiculous wearing clothes that rise at his stomach and choke his collar.

His Father had long since convinced their neighbors of his... feelings about the way Evan is. So when Evan had offered to do work to make money when all he had was T-Shirts and tank tops and shorts, they'd jumped at the opportunity to pay him for doing work like a 'real man'.

Since then, the cold had been a little more bearable, even though he has to wear two layers of socks and retreat to his thick comforter after school if he has no business outside.

Autumn has long since arrived, with the leaves turning shades of auburn and yellow, grass yellowing, and Evan's school library having spiderwebs and skeletons decorating its insides. His sweaters have gotten more use since the season started, with the harsh heat finally cooling until theres a pleasant breeze, the feeling of Halloween just around the corner.

But his sweaters cant stop the feeling of always having that chill in his chest when he'd hear a thump come from another place in his house, or when he'd hear a door slam, and that would signal somebody being home.

What a stark contrast that is to where he is now, warm, bundled up, and comfortable.

Hes sitting next to Gregory on that scratchy rug his house has in front of its fireplace, lights dim, the sun having long set, with a fluffy throw blanket wrapped around his shoulders and tucked neatly between his legs. He has only one hand free, just to bring the hot, piping mug of delicious hot chocolate to his mouth.

Fragments of their Halloween costumes are strewn across the floor, half-finished and homemade. It's the night before Halloween, or Halloween Eve as Gregory likes to call it, and they'd both come up with the bright idea of having matching costumes this Halloween.

They'd run around all day, jumping from store to store to gather supplies, since Gregory insisted on making their costumes from scrap. They'd already been tired when Roxy had taken them home, but still persisted and almost completely completed their costumes in one night.

Evan's eyes had been left stuttering and heavy at the end of it, shoulders sagged and body weary, but Evan hadn't felt bad. It's the first time Evans found out there can be a good kind of exhaustion. Where you've spent all day having fun, and still feel the remnants of excitement in your stomach.

They'd chosen the generic Angel, Devil, theme, but Gregory had promised him they'd have plenty of time to get through them all, someday.

It's only Evan's first Halloween since meeting Gregory, and he'd tried not to appear too affected by Gregory's words right in front of him when he'd first said them.

Never has Evan felt so... so excited for Halloween. Usually, its just the perfect opportunity for Michael to grab a one dollar mask at their local Spirit Halloween, and scare the living daylights out of Evan when he'd come back home from a good day, turning it into a worse day, because he wouldn't be able to shake the fear from his chest the rest of the night.

But this year, Evan has Gregory. Evan has people who actually treat Halloween like something fun, to look forward to, and not just as an excuse to scare him. This year, hes going trick or treating with his best friend, his family, and Evan's going to enjoy spending time with them. No looming prescense of Michael, just waiting to strike, or his Father, waiting for any excuse to comment on Evan's nature.

Its the first time he's felt excited for something like this, instead of dreadful. It's the first time Evan's been able to sit comfortably, and think of the coming days as something to look forward to, instead of something uncertain to be scared of.

It's the first time Evan's been warm, comfortable, and content in a long time.

The room is silent; save for the crackling of the fireplace and the soft music Gregory's house always seems to have playing. The only other sound is the general presence of Gregory and Roxy in the room with him.

Which is why when Evan suddenly has a wave of emotion wash over him, Gregory immediately snaps to attention from where he was nodding off when Evan starts crying.

"Evan?" Gregory asks worriedly, letting the blanket fall of his shoulders when he twists his body to face Evan. "Hey, are you okay?"

Evan shakes his head, gesturing vaguely with his hand. "Im-- I'm alright." He sniffs, and looks away when the tears keep coming, hiding his face as much as he can in his blanket covered knees. "Um, dont worry about me, please. I'm okay, I swear."

Despite looking away, Evan can still feel Gregory's hovering, worried presence at his shoulder, and Roxys watchful gaze on him.

"Did something happen?" Gregory asks, spitfiring. "Evan, if somethings wrong, can you tell me? You know I never judge you. This time is no different."

Evan shakes his head, removing his face from the blanket and facing Gregory. "Theres nothing wrong." He promises, and at the look Gregory sends him, he insists. "No, I promise! I-I dont know what's wrong, or... why I'm crying. I was happy just a few moments ago."

Gregory looks as confused as Evan feels. All Evan can do is bring the sleeve of his favorite sweater up to his cheeks and wipe the tears away, even if more follow right after.

Roxy hums, and sets the laptop she had in her lap to the side, sliding off the armchair she was sitting in to sit in front of Gregory and Evan, careful to move the headbands with a halo and devil horns they had been working on out of the way.

"Evan," She starts gently when she settles. "Are you sad right now?"

Evan's eyes widen, and he shakes his head, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. "No! I'm not." He insists. "...Which is why I'm so confused as to why I'm crying."

Roxy just tilts her head, leaning on one arm on the floor. "Okay, then let me ask you this, bud." She starts. "Have you ever cried because you were just so mad, or frustrated?"

Evan only thinks about it for a moment, his head nodding almost immediately, because he doesnt even have to mull that over. Theres been so many times where Evan would just smush his face into his pillow, and scream as loud as he could in his house. Because frustration is an emotion Evan is so used to, when Evan will wonder why Michael hates him so much.

"Yes." Evan says after a moment. "Yes, I have."

Roxy just nods, smiling that kind, but also wolfish smile of hers. "Then have you considered the idea that you might be crying because you're so happy?"

That makes Evan pause. He freezes, taking a moment for Roxys words to process as he turns them around in his head.

...It sounds awful when he thinks about it, doesnt it? The idea that he didnt even consider the idea of being happy enough to cry, because all he'd ever known is being mad, or sad enough to cry.

But that's what it is. That's what he reflects on, when for the first time, he's introduced to the idea that maybe, his emotions are just felt times two, and sadness and anger isnt the only thing he can feel intensely.

And also, that hes finally in a place where being so happy he can cry is a possibility. Is a reality.

Gregory must have noticed his intense thinking face, because then he seems to sag in relief, chuckling and shifting to get more comfortable. "So you were just so happy, that you cried?"

Evan doesnt answer for a moment, then finally tears his eyes away from the hole he was burning in the rug to look at Gregory. He nods, at first slowly, then more sure of himself. "Yeah." He sniffs, smiling. "I-I think so, yeah."

"Phew!" Gregory says exaggeratedly. "You had me worried for a second. I was afraid we somehow made you sad, or something."

Evan laughs, too, more tears pricking his eyes and following the tracks down his face, but all he does is wipe them away. "Me too." He says. "I was just confused. Because I'm not really sad around you guys."

Gregory just grins at him and grabs him in a side hug, shaking him slightly, but Roxy just chuckles, and hums again.

"Hang on." She tells them. They pause, glancing at her questioningly. "You two know how I go to the gym every Friday?"

Gregory nods, his hair tickling Evan's cheek, and Evan does too. Evan's been friends with Gregory for multiple months at this point, and he remembers Roxy talking about her weekly errand.

"Well," Roxy begins, smiling and looking pointedly at Evan. "I go to the gym because like you, Evan, I feel my emotions more intensely than other people might. But instead of it being all of them, like you, I just felt angry a lot. And it could get worse, and then I would blow up at people, or cry really hard."

Evan listens intensely, eyes wide. He nods, an invitation for Roxy to keep going, and she keeps that encouraging smile on her face. "It was like that for a long time. From when I was your age, to when I was a teenager. But it was only that way because I hadn't found my outlet yet."

Evan tilts his head. "Outlet?"

"I found out that hitting, or punching things, helps me channel my anger into one place, and let it all out without it affecting me or somebody else in a bad way." Roxy explains. "It helps to know you have a special time and place to let the emotions that build up inside of you out, so when they start to get bad before you're at that special spot, you can control them easier. Save them for when you know you'll be able to let them out."

Evan nods rapidly, soaking up every word. Hes never heard an adult talk about things he struggles with seriously before, let alone somebody who also experiences the same problem, and knows how to help. "So if I punch things, will it help me not cry so much?"

Roxy shakes her head, still smiling. "Probably not, Rockstar." She tells him, but before he can get too disappointed, keeps going. "But, we dont know. Things may not be the same for you the way they are for me, but if you try things out, eventually, you'll find the way that works best for you to let all your emotions out, so you dont blow up or they dont get uncontrollable in places you dont want them to."

Evan smiles, running the words over in his head. It's the first time theres ever been any indication that he can change, not for his family, but for himself. It's the first time Evan's felt like theres light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to his inner turmoil.

"If I could do it, you can too, Evan. My family didnt know how to help, but it was their support along with my friends' that helped me learn how to help myself."

"Well, you got us." Gregory pipes up, voice loud in Evan's ear. Gregory squeezes his shoulders a little tighter, twisting his body to be in Evans field of vision. "I'll help you find what your..." He pauses for a moment. "outlet is. I promise."

Evan smiles, moving to shift his neck to be pressed against Gregory. "Thank you." He says. To both of them. He meets Roxys eyes, and tries to express his gratitude with just his gaze.

Roxy seems to understand, because she just nods at him, as if to say 'I know you'll do great'.

"You should try punching Michael to see if thats your outlet." Gregory says. "I think that's a pretty good idea."

Evan splutters a laugh at that, and he can see Gregory grinning, too.

Evan's eyes are heavy, and sore from crying. Both from the exciting day he just had and from the emotions he just filed through, so when he let's himself lean against Gregory, body weary and cheeks littered with dried tear tracks, Gregory sits strong, and leans back as well.

Evan falls asleep like that, surrounded by warmth in more ways than one.

ao3 link

#i said it in the fic #but this is only months into their friendship #so evan hasnt developed more control over his emotions yet and that only actually starts here.#but evan is for sure already aware of how much more he likes it with gregory and his family than his own #and is close with gregory at this point #also where hes starting to bond more with other members of gregorys family #roxy was a good choice for this fic i think because i feel like with roxys obvious emotional issues #alongside self image issues they could relate!!#evan for sure feels bad about himslef for being the way he is #because hes only ever been taught that the way he is is bad or wrong or embarrassing.#but roxy being an actual adult whos been there done that who can help and takes him seriously is like. huge for him #flashlight duo #flashlight duo modern au #gregory and evan #the fazbears #pandas writes #holiday oneshot #halloween oneshot #flashlight duo oneshots #fnaf gregory #evan afton #my fics #oneshot #ficlet #fnaf fic

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maegalkarven · 6 months

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I understand what you’re saying about the Chosen of the dead 3, but I think Orin and Gortash are in the same boat. She wasn’t part of the plan at all, she killed or tried to kill her sibling to actively be part of the plan. She wasn’t even Bhaal’s chosen, she forced into that position herself. And if her abuse is grounds for understanding, then I’d say Gortash’s abuse is too. Sold to a devil as a child and tortured for years until he escapes and he grasps at anything to be in control so no one can control / hurt him again. I think he’s a shit person that did shit things, but I do like the character. And I don’t think Orin’s abuse outweighs that of Gortash. Someone/something messed them both up really bad. Bhaal uses Orin’s bloodlust and trauma to get her to do what he wants, Bane uses Gortash’s fear and need for control to get him to do what he wants. Gortash isn’t more/less redeemable because he’s the smart one that put the plan together. Also being Bane’s chosen means if he fails, he’s tortured for eternity. After being tortured for years, I’d imagine he’d do quite literally anything to not end up there again. Either they’re both redeemable or they’re both not in my eyes at least. Ketheric is the most redeemable for sure, he started out with a decent reason at least.

Gortash is my absolute fav actually because of all the layers. He's a fucking onion.

"Trapped in narrative- escaping the narrative"wise Gortash is the only one who actively walks into His.

He could do anything he wanted after escaping Hells. He wasn't exactly chained up or forced to climb the ladder to world domination.

Back then he still had a choice, even if his mind, twisted and turned by being Raphael's captive, didn't want that choice. Because fear is a strong thing, fear can control person in the worst possible ways. I believe Gortash chose "be the worst ever so no one can hurt him again" road and narrative himself.

But he CHOSE it. (The same way, some might argue, Ketheric chose not letting Isobel go, but I think Ketheric simply wasn't able to let her go)

Orin is different because she didn't exactly force herself into the narrative; she had always been in the narrative. She was born into the narrative.

No Bhaalspawn is ever free and no Bhaalspawn is ever not Bhaal's tool. She would inevitably be put on Durge's path because Bhaal loves putting his children against each other and because only One Bhaalspawn can remain. She even tried to play by the rules and challenged Durge, who didn't take her seriously and refused.

Both Orin and Gortash are more tragic than Ketheric because they're broken children who can never let it go.

Gortash is willingly not letting it go while Orin is literally trapped in it (her family, her cult, Father Bhaal in her head).

Ketheric is someone who, if convinced he can actually redeem himself (and if Isobel is alive), would try it.

Orin can only be redeemed if you forcibly take her out of her cult and cut off Bhaal's influence getting DIRECTLY INTO HER MIND. (Bhaal doesn't really have children, only victims)

Orin could easily be on Durge's place, tadpoled and amnesiac. Tbh I feel like her losing memory is the only way she could ever break free because for her where was nothing but Cult and Bhaal. She wasn't allowed anything else. Confronted with the truth about her upbringing, she's horrified; she also had been punished by Bhaal before for disobedience, Bhaal commands her what to do and Bhaal literally strips her of her own will and body because this is what Bhaal does. But if we can claw her out of it, knock her memories away and cut Bhaal off? Then she has a chance.

That's pretty much the only way she can have it (there's a reason Jaheira calls her lost soul).

But Gortash would not want redemption because he was not forced into the path of tyranny. He chose it. He quite likes it up on the top. He's comfortable over there being the worst and selling people and giving explosives to children. The only thing better would be if he had someone to share his kingdom with, someone who gets his genius.

If put on the ground, he will try to climb right back again. He doesn't care about freeing himself because in his mind only on the very top is where he is free. This narrative not his cage, it's his castle, he build it and he's not giving it up.

That's why any attempt to actually "redeem" him would fail because he is Not Interested in That. He is interested in Power and Being the Biggest and Strongest. Also so ppl would love him, idk how he plans to balance it out with his tyranny, but he pretty much requires the gaping audience. Admire him, everyone.

I have several plots of dragging him off his high horse bc the other alternative is his death, but all these plots require things to be the way where he's actively stripped of power in some way or another bc only his own survival will make him somewhat cooperate on an equal level (one particular ally, durge or tav, but more often durge aside). He is not a team player. He pretends he is.

There are, sure, some AU salvations for him, but no redemption because He Genuinely Does Not Regret a Thing, nor will he.

Neither is Orin, but Orin is a broken doll with a god of murder in her head. She lost herself so long time ago no one even recalls it.

Gortash has himself because no one ever had him. He will do anything for his survival and this is why he does not want or require redeeming. Not dying from Netherbrain, that's another story. But he inevitably always serves his own interests first.

Orin fights for the awful love and approval of a cruel god, Ketheric's love for his daughter transcends her death.

Orin and Ketheric's narratives are two sides of the same coin.

"A child craving affection of a cruel parent" VS "parent doing unimaginable horrors bc of the love for their child."

Gortash is out of that particular narrative, his narrative is "There's No One But Me. Only I Matter. No one loved me so I will love me in excess. No one loved me so no one deserves my love".

It is an echo and awful influence of his tragic past, but it's something he actively chooses. He loves that narrative of his, even if it doesn't exactly fulfill him 100% (because it's lonely on the top. Because somewhere deep inside Enver Flymm still lives. Because he can't let Enver Flymm go no matter now pathetic that past self of his is).

His tragedy is of being lonely af and not admitting it/not having anyone to match him in his genius, but not his Tyrant Path. This one he chose for himself.

The thing is, of course gods use their Chosen ones. I think Gortash knows that, and I think he also actively uses Bane. He wears the coat protecting him from the fear and is a chosen of a Dread Lord. That's telling. He doesn't actually serve Bane, he serves himself and aligns himself with Bane for as long as it works for him.

#lord enver gortash #enver gortash #ketheric thorm #orin the red #it's about the choice and the illusion of it #orin never had the illusion of choice #you don't have that being raised as a child of bhaal in a temple of bhaal #ketheric could not live with the choices he was given and so he broke the rules #gortash had choices but his vision was impaired by his life's experiences #he has a tunnel vision #someone once said gortash would def try to otherthrow bane if the control over the absolute was gained and i totes agree with it #and in the whole 'hubris' way too #There's nothing too high for him to climb #no heights he would not try to reach #no head he would not step on to climb #is it a tragedy of his messed up childhood? yeah. is he content with it? Yeah #me forcibly dragging enver from the top bc I love him: No. No power for you. get tadpoled. get abandoned by bane.#idk get a child what will lock you into a prison of caring for someone else. You will get Better No Matter How Much You Struggle #Enver Gortash is such a good example of Doing The Worst Choices for His Own Well Being #And actively destroying everything by that #like he can't outrun being human he can't outrun having feeling and needing others and being lonely #But gods does he try does this stupid fucker try

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