#pfh prompts

[pfhwrittes]

prompt: gaz and ghost on overwatch, watching soap talk to their contact on the ground, and roasting him alive on comms. just stepping on his neck nonstop. soap can hear them but can't react because the contact spooks easy -391780

@391780 i LOVED this prompt. nothing makes me happier than Ghost and Gaz banter (there's so much of it in the drafts for misery and festivals). hopefully this little blurb satisfies the prompt!

-- “Permission to speak freely, sir?” 

Soap’s earpiece crackles as Gaz opens the comms, distracting him for a second from the twitchy man in front of him. 

“Go ahead, sergeant.” Ghost rumbles.

“You ever realise that Soap stands with his hip cocked?” Soap can hear the shit eating grin in Gaz’s voice. The sleekit wee bastard. 

“Hm. Looks like a teapot.”

“A teapot, sir?”

“Like the nursery rhyme.” 

The comm crackles again as it cuts off Garrick’s stifled chuckle. 

Soap shifts his stance, subtly redistributing his weight to rest evenly and bringing his hands up to loop his thumbs into the shoulder straps of his vest. There, now he can’t be called a fuckin’ teapot. The informant flicks his eyes over Soap warily. 

The comm clicks on again.

“Think he heard us, sergeant?” Ghost asks, amusement lacing his tone.

“Can’t be sure sir, it appears Cap has taken Soap’s place temporarily.” Gaz’s voice wobbles with repressed laughter. 

“Can’t see it myself, Garrick.”

“Why’s that, sir?” 

“Doubt Price would dare show ‘is face if he had a mop like that on his head.” Ghost deadpans. Soap feels his eye twitch as Gaz chokes back another burst of laughter. Cheeky fuckin’ cunts. 

“Looks -” Gaz cuts off the comm before flicking it back on, “looks like he lost a fight with a pair of clippers -” the comm cuts off again and Soap swears he can hear Gaz wheezing somewhere above him. 

Soap moves one of his hands to scratch at the back of his helmet with his middle finger, aware of the way the informant tracks his movements. If those pair of wallopers blow this op, Soap swears to himself that he’ll dye every single one of Ghost’s balaclavas pink and sew a Saltire on the front of Gaz’s cap in place of the Union Jack. 

Abruptly the tone on the comms change. 

“Garrick.” Ghost snaps, the teasing lilt to the banter is gone and in its place is the hard tone Soap’s heard before when things are about to get dicey. 

“I see ‘em.” 

“Keep them in your sights, I don’t like the look of -” whatever Ghost doesn’t like the look of gets cut off as an explosion sends a shockwave of sound and dust over Soap, forcing him to cover his head from flying debris. 

- 

Much later when the three of them are getting chewed out by Price for “missing a whole fucking truckload of insurgents because you three were too busy dicking around on the bloody comms” Soap decides that his little sewing project isn’t nearly enough in the way of payback.

#pfh answers #pfh prompts #jm #sr #kg #jp #gaz and ghost are such shits i love them #ps everyone is fine except they're on shit shifting duties for the foreseeable #ooh i surprised myself by writing a brief allusion to action there #edit to add (because it was too good to leave in my DMs): #lmao i just have this vision of price talking to laswell afterwards going '... do i stand weird kate?' #and she's thinking that finally someone told him about the fucking air thrusts at last

[ldrfanatic]

hi!!! could i please request prompts l17 & r20 for theo nott? 🤭

good ones never wait

theo nott x fem!hufflepuff!reader

yesss!!

L17 - His hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it's mine

R20 - Only bought this dress so you could take it off

T Swift Lyrics Prompts

suggestive at the end but no smut!

theodore aurelius nott the man that you are 😌

nav slytherin boys masterlist

your heart was pounding in your chest as you watched the scene unfold in front of you. theodore nott, your best friend, and also the man you were irreversibly in love with, had just finished the first quidditch practice of the season. despite his teammates insistence that you were only there to spy for your house team, theo had invited you to watch for some reason you had yet to figure out.

still, watching him wipe sweat, dirt, and god knows whatever else from his perfect face while he grinned with his mates did something to your insides. couldn’t your heart just be still for once?

after being friends with theo for nearly five years, you’d learned to tune out the butterflies for the most part. but crushing on theodore nott isn’t something that one just gets over. he’s the kind of guy that you’d spend your whole life helplessly in love with.

“sweet little puff. if you’re so infatuated, ask nott out.”

the voice of pansy parkinson in your ear made you jump.

after gathering yourself once more, you shrugged thoughtlessly at the idea. of course you’d like to think he’d say yes. but with theo there was no telling. he’d never had a girlfriend his entire time at hogwarts. in fact, now that you really thought about it, you couldn’t remember him ever even giving any of the numerous girls that asked him out a chance.

he was so well known for instant rejections that eventually even his most committed fan girls had simply given up.

“pfh.”

you made a noise of disbelief in pansy’s direction.

“sure, and ruin a five year friendship with my best friend. no thanks.”

“no, you’d much rather wallow in your feelings and never say a word about it to anyone except me apparently.”

she stood up from next to you and held out a hand. a silent invitation.

“the worst he could say is no, y/n. and at least if he does, you can start moving on.”

you grasped her hand and allowed her to pull you up, but inside you knew that there was no moving on from theodore nott. he would always have a place in your heart. you’d resigned yourself to that a long time ago.

it was a stiff silence as the pair of you made your way to where the boys were all shoving each other and rolling around in the quidditch pitch. you watched with amusement as theo shoved mattheo’s face into the grass with a playful grip on his dark curls.

as he noticed your approach, he looked up from his entanglement with a broad smile. “y/n!”

his temporary distraction gave mattheo the few vital seconds he needed, and a few moments later, he’d wrapped his arms around the taller boy’s waist and maneuvered himself to pin him.

“too slow, aurelius. distracted by your little girlfriend like usual.”

whatever theo said next was drowned out by mattheo’s rather unmanly shriek as enzo wriggled free of blaise’s grasp and flung himself at mattheo’s head.

pansy leaned over to you.

“at least come to our little gathering tonight. nothing big, just slytherin house. and of course, our little badger.”

“where theo is, i am.”

—

there was a part of you that wished that statement could be untrue for at least once in your life. you weren’t typically much of a party person, but since you were nearly joined at the hip with the nott boy, where theo went, you followed. and vice versa.

after forcing him into countless bookstores with you, it was really only fair that you join him for the occasional night of uninterrupted revelry.

especially since so many bodies in one room meant that theo would be practically on top of you the entire time.

you tugged at the green sundress in hopes that it was straight. you’d only bought it because theo said it would look good on you when you’d gone shopping together this past summer. but you hadn’t had an occasion to wear it yet and figured tonight was as good a night as any. softly clearing your throat, you spoke the password and watched in amazement as a snake seemed to appear out of nowhere, slithering to form the door to the slytherin common room.

the moment you stepped foot inside, music thrummed through your body. after a quick scan of the room, you found your serpents as they lounged across some furniture in a corner. yet, upon approaching, you noticed theo’s absence.

“your boy is getting you a drink.”

draco nodded to the drink table where sure enough, theo was pouring up some sort of concoction. you softly excused yourself and started your way towards him.

theo’s friends watched on as the boy completely lit up when he saw you. mattheo felt a plan began to hatch.

enzo, who apparently recognized the look on mattheo’s face, immediately began to shake his head violently.

“no. whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t.”

immediately, mattheo’s face twisted into a look equal parts disbelief and exasperation.

“oh come on, don’t tell me you aren’t tired of those two dancing circles around each other.” he took a swig of his drink and then stood dramatically. “we all know there’s only one way to fix this.”

midway through a rather animated conversation with theo, you felt a large hand in your own. out of the corner of your eye you could see mattheo with his signature smirk.

“don’t hog her all night, aurelius. c’mon sweetheart let’s dance.”

before you could reject him, the boy had dragged you onto the dance floor and was yanking you in various directions while “dancing” with you. of course, mattheo was respectful of you and theodore’s albeit odd relationship and simply held your hands while dancing with you.

still, he knew that it wouldn’t take much to rile up his friend when it came to you. and having you ripped away from him while he was in the middle of admiring you would be frustrating no doubt.

and thus, no longer than ten seconds into your dance, mattheo was ripped away from you by his collar and dragged off by a rather irritated theo.

well, anyways.

pansy grinned knowingly as you made your way back to where she and the others were sitting. she clearly knew something. you pulled her from the couch by her wrist and out of ear shot of the boys.

“what the hell pansy?”

“mattheo has a brilliant plan to get dear little theodore to confess his feelings for you.”

“oh yeah. brilliant.” you say sarcastically. “one problem though. theodore doesn’t have feelings for me.”

she rolled her eyes at you, then fixed you with a stare so intense you were suddenly reminded of why she was in slytherin.

“yes he does. honestly, you like him too right? cause it doesn’t really seem like it anymore.”

you blushed at the thoughts that entered your head. you really shouldn’t be thinking these things about your best friend but there you were.

“his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine.”

pansy wriggled her eyebrows suggestively at you.

“well then you better go get him before he blows a blood vessel in his neck.”

she motioned behind you lazily. when you turned, theo was standing a few feet away from you and sure enough was glaring intensely at a grinning mattheo on the couch, looking as though he may kill the boy any second now.

deciding that mattheo’s death would be annoying for everyone to deal with, you approached theo timidly. yet, when his gaze met yours, you felt at peace.

your muscles relaxed involuntarily under his stare, and the closer you got to him, the more your mind seemed to clear. every thought jumped soundlessly from your brain to make room for the only thing that mattered: theodore.

"why do you let him rile you up theo?"

“he knows all the right buttons to press.”

“just ignore him.”

the brunette shook his head.

“i can’t do that. not when it’s you.”

your mouth fell open at his confession. thoughts raced through your brain but none of them actually tumbled off your tongue.

“you don’t have to say anything, bella. it’s okay that you don’t feel the same, i just needed you to know.”

your arms snaked up to wrap around his neck. electricity surged through the air and a grin spread across your face as you pulled the boy into a kiss.

“you’re so cute when you’re all dumb.”

theo’s thick brows sunk in confusion.

“i only bought this dress so you could take it off.”

—

@moonlightreader649 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess @nighttimemoonlover

#slytherin boys #theodore nott #slytherin #theo nott #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #slytherin boys x reader

[miraculousfanworks]

Writing Prompt: Reverse Fandom

Chat Noir: I have the best fans. Ladybug: Actually I do. Chat Noir: What makes you so sure? Ladybug: well Adrien Agreste is a ladybug fan. Chat Noir: Pfh. You’ve got nothing on me. Ladybug: Okay why are your fans the best? Chat Noir: Because, I have Marinette

Prompt by: mercixo

#miraculous fanworks #miraculous ladybug #writing prompt #fanfiction prompt #is this kind of like #the opposite of a fandom war? #or like #the inversion of one?

[classic-caldwell-moment]

Lee finally creates wholesome things?! God, shocker!

Title: "Are You Cold?"

Category: Fluff.

Warnings: None.

Summary: Aiden seems cold, thankfully Hakon has a winter coat on hand, well, technically, on his body.

"Hey, Kiddo?", Aiden blinked and looked over to where he heard the voice coming from, shaking rain water from his short hair and grumbling as he trudged across the mud over to Hakon, the older man was almost as rain soaked as Aiden was though his eyes were just as bright as usual, large grin across his stupid face, his stupid...handsome face, Aiden's cheeks heated up and he raised a brow, gesturing for Hakon to speak up, "You look cold." the frenchman chuckled.

Aiden glared and tossed his hands up angrily, "NO FUCKIN' SHIT! IT'S RAINING, HAKON!" he yelled, waving his hands around them and jumping in suprise when a rain droplet from a branch above them slammed into his head, Hakon snorted and crossed his arms as he waited for his boyfriend to stop his tantrum, Aiden's frustrated shouting continuing for a few moments before he took a shaky inhale and stared daggers at Hakon, who merely smirked, "Are you done, mon ange?" he hummed; beginning to shed his winter coat from his shoulders with a slight huff.

"What are you doing, dude?" the pilgrim groaned, already beginning to walk down the trail they had been following, "Hey- Hey!" Hakon jogged after him, coat hanging off of one shoulder as he laughed loudly, "Come here.", Aiden scowled and paused in his stride, scanning Hakon with judgement, "Aiden." the frenchman prompted, finally shaking his coat off and holding it out gently to the man, "Here!", Aiden's face turned a bright red, a shocking red, god the kid looked like a clowns nose, the older man stepped forward and shoved it against Aiden's chest.

Aiden's blue eyes were wide and flickering between Hakon and his thick coat, which was starting to get damp, "Quick! Put it on, it's going to get fuckin' wet!" Hakon scolded, the pilgrim was shockingly fast at the order, clumsily shaking the coat loose and tossing his arms through the sleeves, almost stumbling backwards as he struggled to button it up, it was cute, Hakon could see the slightest glimmer of joy in Aiden's expression that he was clearly trying to hide, "Hah- Careful, don't fall over now, kid." Hakon snorted; grasping Aiden's shoulders gently and catching his attention.

"Suits you!" Hakon grinned and kissed the tip of Aiden's nose, "Pfh- Of course it does, I look good in everything, it's my..." Aiden trailed off and winked playfully, "...Model body.", Hakon burst out laughing and had to release Aiden to brace himself against a mossy, rain soaked tree, breathing shakily as the pilgrim watched on with raised brows, "What?! I'm right, aren't I? I could model! If they still did that shit! Hakon, don't laugh at me!!!" he shouted, becoming red faced all over again, "Yack yack yack, you sound like my ex wife! Sure, kid, you could model." Hakon mustered out between giggles, combing a hand through his wet hair; surveying Aiden in his winter coat before him.

The pilgrim had his hands on his hips and eyebrows furrowed, "Talk about your ex wives one more fucking time-" he muttered, Hakon snickered and held his hands up apologetically, "Right, yeah, anyone else bad, Aiden good!", Aiden's expression darkened and Hakon had a pile of mud thrown his way swiftly, only missing by an inch because the frenchman saw it coming by a mile off, "Asshole-", "I'll take the coat back!" Hakon interrupted with a smirk, trailing after Aiden as the two began to walk again; the young man hugged the coat around himself and huffed, "No- It's mine now. Get fucked." he spat, Hakon raised a brow and wrapped a arm around Aiden's side, "That's the plan." he grinned and was elbowed in the ribs instantly.

"JEEZ- OKAY! DAMN!" Hakon yelled, shoving Aiden in retaliation, the pilgrim chuckled and dove in Hakon's direction, missing and tumbling against a tree, "Hah! Dumbass!", Aiden scowled and pushed himself off from the tree, grumbling to himself and tossing his hands up in annoyance, "Fuck you, you're not getting this damn coat back, s' mine now." Aiden rambled to himself, swiftly moving ahead of Hakon and flipping the older man off as he did, Hakon snickered and followed suit, it's not like he needed the coat anyway, he could always get another one.

#postinginsilence #writinginsilence #dying light #dying light 2 #dl2 #dying light fandom #aiden caldwell #dl2 aiden #dying light 2 aiden #dl2 hakon #dying light 2 hakon #hakon x aiden #aiden x hakon #aiden quote of the year: my model body ;) #🌼him.txt

[haiky-u-lously]

December 5th: Buying a Partner

For the wonderful @sportyheroesimagines , a holiday present for you. To say thanks for being awesome and sharing all you do. Especially for Haikyuu. Quick background, I started following you for bnha and found out about Haikyuu from you and boy did my friends get chewed out for not introducing me to it before (volleyball is my life and these boys are so freaking lovable). So thank you!!! And you are amazaing.

Character: Sugawara Koushi

Note: you know in movies how there are companies where you can purchase people to do holiday/family events with you and they act like a significant other? That’s what this AU is. Hopefully you’ll like it.

Enjoy!!

______________________________________________________________________________

“Put those on, you’re acting like a child.”

You rolled your eyes at the demeaning tone your partner spoke in, “Yea yea, but it’ll get done eventually. You know that.”

They huffed in response.

After more time passed, you still refusing to put on your winter boots, they threw their hands into the air and started to scream. “I cannot believe I have put up with you this long! You are just so stupid! Why can’t you do such a simple task of putting on your snow boots before we leave? It was supposed to be a date night! We haven’t had a good one of those in how long?! God!” Their face was so red, but you knew they weren’t done. You waited for them to continue, sitting down on the step splitting the house entrance and door from the living portion. “You work, sleep, complain about how much you hate things but make no freaking changes, and then when we actually make time to see each other it’s like pulling teeth! Tonight was going to be our make up, the cliche last-chance dinner. And you couldn’t even do that! I’m done! Done!”

Slamming the door shut behind them with the last word, you still made no indication to move.

Less than ten seconds later, the door opened again.

“Wouldn’t even chase after me this time, huh?”

You shook your head.

“Well, I tried.” They gave you a smile, “How was it?”

You smiled lightly back at them, but you were looking down at the ground. “You were great, really. But it just wasn’t believable. My parents know I wouldn’t date anyone who told me what to wear or compared my to a child. Like even the first line I would have lost it in a real situation.”

They tsk’d in response. “Man, and it sounded like such a good gig too. Guess I gotta see if anyone still needs a date for Christmas dinner.”

You apologised again to the person you tried hiring. You’d been telling your parents you’d been in this amazing relationship, but now that the holidays were approaching, they wanted to meet them. And how the hell could you introduce them to someone you made up? By buying a partner and having them act to match all the criteria you had described.

Sounded easy enough, but here you were, the fifth practice break-up run, with your eighth potential partner, and absolutely none of them worked.

Now what were you to do?

You called the agency, ready to throw in the towel. Maybe you could make something up, say they broke up with you because of the sudden pressure, or that you found out they were in a committed relationship and you broke it off. It would be a lot harder because you’d have to spend more time acting hurt or betrayed, but you could figure it out. You were a writer for crying out loud, if you couldn’t make stories believable you’d have a hard time living from now on.

The secretary picked up after the third ring, “King Crow’s escorting service. How can I assist you?”

You smiled to yourself listening to her customer-service voice. “Hey, Kiyoko. It’s me.”

Hearing the smile in her tone, you knew she thought you were calling to share positive news. “(F/N), how wonderful. How was the newest one? Fit your bill?”

At first you shook your head, then realized she couldn’t see you. “No, but it’s okay. I feel bad for wasting your company’s time. I’ll figure it out, and I’ll definitely recommend you all to people I know.”

The voice on the other end went quiet, and you were unsure as to whether she heard you or not.

“Hello?” You asked. “Kiyoko? Are you there?” You pulled the phone away and glanced at the screen. Seeing that the call was still connected you brought it back to your ear. “Kiyoko?”

“Yes, yes, sorry.” She said, sort of breathless. You wondered why, but did not attempt to interrupt. “Okay, (F/N), we have one more that we want to try before you call it quits.”

Beginning with a big sigh, you started to protest. You felt you were just wasting your friend’s time and the efforts her and the others were putting into this business.

“Come on Kiyoko,” You half-cried, “I can’t ask you to keep sending people.”

“Nope, I’m sending him.” You could hear the smile on her face, “Actually he already left and is on his way.”

You dragged your hand down your face, slightly pulling on the puff of skin called your cheeks on the way.

“Please, none of your sulking.” She chided, the motherly side of her coming out. “If you don’t like this one, I’ll stop.”

Relenting, “Promise?”

Her silence acted as a confirmation.

“Fine,” You sighed out. “I’ll talk to you later. We still on for skating next weekend?”

“Yes! Goodbye, (F/N).” She hung up on her end. While you pulled the device away from your face you thought at least you made a good friend out of this whole experience.

___time jump____

An hour later and no one had showed up. You decided it was for the best and put your shoes on, preparing to head to a little ramen shop down the road.

You loved your winter boots. Not only where they your favorite color, but they were extremely warm. And, man, did they do their job in protecting your feet from an onslaught of wet, and cold snow.

As soon as you stepped into the warm environment of the ramen shop, you stomped out the excess snow.A thorough attempt to make your boots last as long as they could.

You were tugging on your jacket, doing a failure of a job at releasing your sleeved arms from its grasp, when you accidently felt your hand jerk and ram into something.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.” You half-shouted. “I swear it was an accident.”

The hazel eyes staring back at you seemed to smile. “Don’t worry about it. No harm, right?”

You laughed at his comment, “If you’re sure.” Upon noticing more about the stranger, you saw he was also in the process of removing his coat, and apologizing again, you moved to get out of his way. “Sorry, now I’m standing in your way like a baka.”

He shrugged his shoulders but made no comment.

You wondered about this male. His seemingly silver hair that shined under the lights, his dazzling smile that made you forget about the dread you had felt faced with just minutes before…

Wait...what?! You thought, eyes bulging at the realization that you were no longer extremely stressed out.

Making your way to the counter, you let your eyes wander to their corners. Keeping your gaze upon the stranger.

All throughout your meal.

By the time you were done, you realised the male was doing the same to you. Checking your figure out of the corner of his eyes, half-ignoring his meal, and wholistically ignoring the people around him.

There were chairs between them, so it’s possible those around him were strangers but it also felt strange. You just couldn’t figure out why.

After ordering a refill, you checked your phone. Hearing something hit the counter, you looked up just to see your hazel-eyed stranger take the seat beside you.

Sending you a gentle smile, he spoke slowly. “Sugawara Koushi. Nice to meet you (F/N).”

Eyes bulging, you found yourself at a loss for words. How did he know your name? What was going on? Were you on a prank show right now? Where were the cameras? Was he about to tell you he had a partner? That he wasn’t interested in you at all? Wait, where’d that come from?! You shook out your thoughts, trying to regain some semblance of control over yourself.

“Kiyoko was sure that last one would fail. She said she promised you our best and while I may not be that for every case, I definitely think I can help out in your situation.” The blinding grin he concluded with made your heart skip a beat.

You took a deep gulp of air, “You a PFH?”

He simply nodded before taking a sip of his clear liquid.

“So, you’re what? Here for a job interview?” The tone of your voice was raising. Here you were somehow actually falling for him and he just wanted you to be his next job.

“Yes and no,” He smiled and put his phone down in front of you. “You’re profile says you are looking for someone to pretend to break up with you that can act like this for a bit at first to make it believable with your family, right?”

Nodding at his explanation, you scrolled through the typed notes you saw presented on the screen.

“Well, if we change a couple things,” He smiled as he knocked his shoulder against your own, “You wouldn’t have to pretend about anything.”

You looked up at him, (e/c) locking with hazel orbs. “So you’d really be breaking up with me? But we aren’t even dating. And, it wouldn’t make much sense with all that-” You cut yourself off. Noticing the frown that was deepening itself on your new acquaintance’s face.

“No,” He said clearly. Keeping your gaze locked. His hands found purchase in your own, and you felt a slight squeeze. “I mean, you wouldn’t have to pretend to have a boyfriend.”

Bulging your eyes, and pulling your hand back to cover your mouth, it was obvious you were surprised. “Sugawara-san that… this is your job...you get paid for this...you can’t just say that to someone you met not an hour ago.”

His smile grew, almost to an ear splitting one that had you once again almost forgetting your worries. “Oh, (F/N). We didn’t just meet today.” The wink he sent you made you think there was a deeper meaning to his words.

But, you couldn’t think as to what the silver-haired individual was talking about. “I’m lost.”

Sugawara steadied his expression, “And, it’s Suga.” You nodded to note you heard him, but made no other indication to move forward in your conversation.

“I promise you, (F/N). Today is not the first time we’ve met.” He grabbed your hand in his again, but it was a loose enough hold for you to pull back if you felt the need. “I don’t want to date you for pay. The only way I could think to prove that to you was to make you think we met again outside of the agency.” His cheeky grin told you he hadn’t missed your side glances at him since you’d both sat down. “And, from the looks of things I peaked your interest long before I came to speak to you.”

His pink cheeks hardly compared to the deep rose blush that crept over your ears and facial features. Embarrassed for being caught, by how smoothly he claimed to want to be with you, the fact that his hand was tugging you closer to him and you weren’t resisting, who knew why…

“Please…” The whispered word was the final straw. Before you knew it yourself, you were nodding consent to his plan.

Whatever it was.

____time jump___

You stood outside your parents house. Looking at Suga and checking his tie for him as he seemed to be a nervous wreck.

“What is it Suga?” You smirked at him. “Nervous now that you don’t have a script to follow?”

He just shook out his silver locks.

The door in front of you swung open. It was so sudden and fast paced you slightly jumped.

Not nearly as much as you had when your cousin screamed at the top of their lungs, “SUGA-NII!!!!” He smiled and knelt down to be below eye level of the young teenager. They quickly jumped to hold a hug around his neck.

Your parents soon showed themselves.

Dad arching a brow at the figure of your cousin holding onto someone so strongly. “And who might this be?”

Suga lifted himself off the ground. He sent a smile to your parents as he reached for and held onto your hand.

You mother smiled between you two.

“(F/N),” She said before turning to walk back into the kitchen, “You could have told us it was Suga you were dating. We do actually remember your old childhood friend.

You jaw dropped at her comment, and Suga just laughed at you.

He bobbed your nose and made his way inside after your cousin, leaving you on the porch completely speechless.

#sportyheroesimagines #sugawara koushi #suga x reader #reader insert #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #haikyuu #Christmas story #pfh prompt #partner for hire #buying a boyfriend #past relationship #I just love Suga smiles #happy holidays #merry christmas #merry holidays #thanks for the joy that is haikyuu #keep being awesome

[gemsofthegalaxy]

prompt sent by @taniushka12 who is doing the lord’s work by getting me to write MINFFEL in this, the year of disaster, 2020. Bless him.

this turned out a bit more angsty than it could have? but. anyway. Without further ado

Amuse Me Minkowski/Eiffel, wolf 359, ~700 words 

“Hey, you,” Minkowski started, leaning against the railing on the balcony where Eiffel was standing. “Can I bum a smoke?” she asked.

Eiffel took a puff of his own cigarette and then left it in his mouth as he reached for the box in his pocket. He produced a stick of succulent, rat-killing tar and held it out to her. Minkowski took it, held it between two fingers, and stuck it between her lips. He held up a lighter, and she leaned in to let him light it for her.

“Those’ll kill you, y’know,” Eiffel told her.

“Eh, if I ain’t dead yet,” Renee said. Eiffel let out a low chuckle. She smiled at him and bumped her shoulder with her own. “Observation: joking about my own demise makes him chuckle. First time I’ve heard him laugh all day, so I’d count it as a success. New course of action determined: make more jokes about dying.”

“Pfh,” Eiffel shook his head and tried to hide his next laugh. “Please, do not overdo it with the doom and gloom. I’m sure it’ll go from mildly amusing to tragic way too quickly.”

“Hm,” Renee thought for a moment, taking a drag of her cigarette. “The experimental subject claims that joking about death is too tragic, yet, he still laughs when I do it. Note, he also hasn’t yelled at me for calling him an experimental subject which, by all accounts, should be offensive at best, and severely triggering at worst. Maybe reconsider the current course of action, yeesh,” Minkowski pulled a grim face, puffed her cigarette again.

Despite himself, Eiffel laughed again and continued to shake his head. “You’re the worst, you know that, Commander? Also, where was this morbid sense of humor up in the sky? I guess in your defense, you had very little sense of humor at all, back then.”

“Maybe this is triggering for the subject, he’s getting a touch defensive,” Minkowski said. He laughed once more.

“Me? Doug Eiffel, defensive? Couldn’t happen,” Eiffel insisted. This time, Minkowski was the one to laugh. “Nah,” he said, a minute later. “Not triggered. Thanks, though,” he said, sounding sincere.

“You’re thanking me for…? Only sort of triggering you? Or,”

“Trying so damn hard to make me laugh,” Eiffel said, smiling sadly as he stubbed out the end of his cigarette, and discarded it in the ash tray, and then grabbed another.

“Yeah, you’re not that wrong about my sense of humor, or, well, lack thereof,” Minkowski admitted, sucking in another breath of smoke. She flicked her ash in the tray. “You’re way funnier than I am.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” Doug smiled, and bumped her shoulder this time. “Hey,” he said, leaning forward just a bit.

Renee stubbed out her smoke and leaned forward as well, and their lips met in a chaste kiss.

“I mean it, thanks,” Doug murmured, his lips only an inch from hers. She nodded, and kissed him again.

“Any time, Eiffel,” Renee said. “If all else fails, and you want to laugh, we can watch one of your dumb, frat-boy comedies tonight.”

“Really?” Eiffel said, pulling back from her and looking out across the parking lot. “If this is how I get you to watch trash movies with me, maybe I should be sad more often.”

“One, you’re already sad all the time, you idiot. So am I,” Minkowski said, and he pulled a face like he was considering it, and agreeing with her. “Two, don’t push your luck. We can have one night of completely stupid stoner movies, and then we go back to watching our regularly scheduled low-brow, but not also horrendously offensive, media that you want me to see.”

“There’s still so much you need to catch up on,” Eiffel said. “But, deal. We are so watching Superbad tonight.”

“God help me,” Minkowski said, and Eiffel let out a loud laugh. “New observation: the best way to get him to laugh is to subject yourself to his torture,” she said, and Eiffel continued laughing.

“Oh, babe, that much you already knew,” Eiffel said. He leaned over and kissed her again, and they smiled against each other’s lips.

“Fair enough,” Minkowski murmured.

#renee minkowski #doug eiffel #minffel #wolf 359 #w359 #my fic #my writing #I MISS THEM SO MUCH

[tndidd]

Basic Assurance Factor 4 – Protection from Abuse, Neglect, Mistreatment, and Exploitation

Protecting the people we support from abuse, neglect, mistreatment, and exploitation (A/N/M/E) is the most important thing we can do as supporters. No one should have to live in fear from a family member, friend, housemate, co-worker, or staff. Tennessee is known for its Protection From Harm (PFH) system. CQL looks at protection from abuse, neglect, mistreatment, and exploitation in many of the same ways that are indicated by DIDD policy. However, when conducting a Basic Assurance Review and evaluating the states and agencies PFH system, we look at other systems, practices, and person to person interviews to determine if people are truly protected. There are six indicators under this factor; each with their own systems and practices let's look at each indicator.

The Organization implements policies and procedures that define prohibit and prevent A/N/M/E is the first indicator reviewed. The probes under this category look at the agency's policies and procedures and how those policies help direct the agency to assure the people they support are safe. Some of the probes under this indicator focus on screening employees before they hired to ensure they do not have a history of A/N/M/E; defining who is responsible for reporting and investigating allegations of A/N/M/E and protecting people from further harm.

The next indicator is ensuring People are Free from A/N/M/E. Under this indicator we interview and conduct focus groups with people supported to find out how they define A/N/M/E, do they feel safe, and are they educated about A/N/M/E. Another highlight is there a friendly understandable complaint resolution system for people who are not satisfied with the outcomes of investigations or dissatisfied with services. It also explores whether there is a system that ensures the same reporting standards exist for all people (people supported, family, community members, and staff). This includes investigation of allegations of abuse from roommates and peers.

The third indicator examines an agency's incident management system; Organizations implement systems for reviewing analyzing trends, potential risk, and sentinel events including allegations of A/N/M/E and injuries of unknown origins and death. This indicator focuses on agency minutes and data systems. These data systems should also develop practices and continue to protect people from further harm.

During the review of the next indicator; DSP training is focused on. Support staff know how to prevent, detect, and report allegations of abuse, neglect, mistreatment, and exploitation. This is another indicator where direct interview and focus groups are conducted with management and support staff to find out what training staff receive before working with people, during employment and ongoing training to help keep people safe from harm.

The organization ensures objective, prompt and thorough investigations of each allegation of abuse, neglect, mistreatment, and exploitation and each injury, particularly injuries of unknown origin is the fifth indicator. The main objectives here are to determine who investigates, are the investigators trained, and investigations are completed in a timely manner and people were protected from further harm.

Finally, the organization ensures thorough appropriate and prompt responses to substantiated cases of abuse, neglect, mistreatment, and exploitation, and other associated issues identified in the investigation. This indicator reviews whether agencies respond to investigations in a timely manner, assurance that the response reduces the likely hood of reoccurrence, and is the documentation available to validate planned action. One of the more important probes in this indicator is that the agency shares the results of the investigation with the people supported.

In conclusion, it is important that agencies have systems and practices in place to ensure people supported are free from abuse, neglect, mistreatment, and exploitation. Some other ways to help people stay safe and free from abuse is continuing education for people supported whether it be one on one training or more formal focus groups. Also, the Accreditation team offers several trainings free of charge to agencies. For more information please feel free to contact [email protected], [email protected], and [email protected].

To read previous Basic Assurances articles, search #BasicAssurances on DIDD’s Tumblr page: https://tndidd.tumblr.com/.

#basicassurances

[nekojitachan]

Current Projects

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on: writing, art, gifsets, whatever.

I was tagged by @folatefangirl​

Okay, so things have been up in the air because of moving and one of the projects.

Work’s project from hell Status: 90% done? We’re in hypercare and there’s a piece we pushed off which we still have to install, but we’re ALMOST there. I hope after next week my hours are all back to normal and the stress level is down.

The Novel Status: 80%? I still have to get that last chapter done and do another edit, so... but I’m talking to someone about query letters (have to get back to them, that got put on hold because of the move and the PFH). Counts: 83,426 words atm.  And still a chapter to go. First book in a planned three.... Celtic-based fantasy novel about gods thinking they know what’s best (they don’t), plotting mortals and mages, and magical creations caught in the middle who are DONE with it all. A death and a promise are tinder to set off things long brewing. Blurb: The stone walls of the room seemed to press in on her as she thought of her long captivity.  Desperate to breathe, she leaned out as far as she could through the narrow window, the cold night air almost a taunt to her as a reminder of the things denied over the many years.  What was it like, to stand out under the stars?  To feel the wind and the elements over your entire body? To know that the entire world stretched forth in front of you and all you had to do was decide which direction to take as your first step.    Hatred roiled inside of her as she stared at the night sky, focused on the humans who kept her chained and the gods who thought her nothing more than a tool.  Whatever she had to do, she would return all of the suffering she had endured onto them a thousand-fold. Notes: I really need to take some time to sit down and give this fic a proper edit. I’m the only one who’s really read it, too... Hopefully it’s worth the effort.

Heartlines Status: Uhm... honestly no clue, this is growing on me. Ch10 is almost halfway done, but this week has been killer. I’m HOPING it’s posted on Sunday. It’s got at least a few more chapters. AT LEAST. Count: 16000 OMFG it’s that long already??? *whimpers* Blurb: Still, Ombré and Danseur went over to rub against him, which cheered Neil up somewhat, and then Jorea turned about in the air to face Andrew with several lilac blossoms in held in the full skirt of her silver and purple dress. She had a calculating look on her sharp-featured face as she eyed him up and down – eyed his head up and down, which made him narrow his eyes at her. “Don’t even think it,” he warned the flying pest as he held up his right hand with his thumb and middle finger touching in a clear gesture of him ready to flick the pixie away – the tiny Fae were tough, and being flicked into the wall wouldn’t do them any real damage at all. There was no way in hell he was allowing them to shove flowers in his hair and be ‘claimed’ like a certain Unseelie idiot. Notes: OMFG, there’s still so much I need to cover in this fic. *sighs* But in the upcoming chapter, you will see Andrew’s necromancer talent some more, and we’re starting to see Kevin’s ‘queen’ come into play. Definitely more of that in ch11.

Raven!Neil Status: Okay, this falls under a couple of different items. There’s the one fic I started in fits and pieces, that’s not even like, 5%. But there’s also two fics I did for the @exyordeath-zine and I really, REALLY want to do more chapters for them. So let’s just say that you’ll be seeing more Raven!Neil in the future. Count: unknown Blurb: Lately, Neil couldn’t get the saying ‘be careful what you wish for’ out of his head – it was on a constant loop in his thoughts, repeated in English, French, and German, even in rough Spanish and Italian. For so long he’d regretted being unable to play Exy, had thought back on when he’d played with Riko and Kevin at Evermore, had dared to ignore his mother’s numerous warnings and join some no-name team in a town in the middle of nowhere….Only to find himself back at Evermore not by his own choice but forcibly dragged there and told that he should have been at the Nest all along, that he was Moriyama property. That his mother hadn’t taken him and run so much from his father but his father’s employers. That he had no choice but to play Exy since he was Moriyama property, and he had to be of value to them in one way or another. Notes: I’m really hoping that as soon as work evens out, I can get back to this.

First Breath Sequel Status: barely started Count: 2423 Blurb:It still amazed Andrew that he not only had his own apartment to call ‘home’, a large loft with a freezer stocked with multiple pints of ice cream and a cabinet with liquor and the entire place warded to keep out almost everyone, but that he shared the place with Neil. That when he returned to a space that wasn’t just a building where he was staying for a certain amount of time but where he felt safe and content and had made it his own, there was a gorgeous idiot waiting for him with a bright smile. Notes: Another thing to get to, maybe late Summer? We shall see, since Heartlines is taking longer than expected.

Dragon!Andrew Status: ongoing. Kevin needs to be tormented some more, and Riko fried to a crisp. Count: Uhm... not going to look. Blurb: "You... you... you're such an asshole," Neil all but spat at him as he waved his hands about in the air for added emphasis. "I didn't ask for you to fight my battles for me or to give me a place to stay or to be so amazing or to make me feel these things which are so damn confusing, do you know that? I'm nothing. I'm supposed to want nothing," Neil told him, and the bleak expression on his face twisted something sharp inside of Andrew, wiped away the faint fluttering of warmth that had been there a moment before upon hearing that ‘amazing’ and ‘feeling’ bit, but even as Andrew reached for the idiot, as the beast drove him on to reach out, Neil flung a tiny ball of aether at him before he spun away and ran. It was just enough magic to sting Andrew even in human form, to make him flinch and blink his eyes to clear his sight, and by that point Neil was long gone. Notes: Hmm, there should be another part soon.

Misc fics: Status: ??? Count: ??? Notes: Cat!Neil and whatever prompts I still have outstanding. I’ll get them. Eventually....

The Neil Hatford Fic Status: Okay, so this is something I’ve been plotting out with @foxpaws10 - an idea about Stuart getting his hands on a young Nathaniel and raising him in the UK among the Hatfords and then about 13 years or so later, ‘Neil’ showing up at PSU.

Uhm... I think that’s it? Other than doing something w/ the garden, that’s basically my projects (writing, writing and more writing).

Ah, let’s see, tagging... uh... @philosophium, @still-waiting-for-godot, @still-waiting-for-godot, @foxpaws10, @broship-addict, @whitejenna, @moonlitvampire, @goramidiot, @sonyathefairy, @sayabenz only if you want to do this?

#current projects #i write just a little #can you tell

[nautiscarader]

Wendip Week Day 6: Fake relationship

(My fanfiction masterpost) (Read on Ao3) (Read on FF)

I apologise for taking so much time writing it, I hope the last prompt will be finished tomorrow. 

- Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to another episode of Coup de Couple! The TV show where pairs can test their *looove* and possibly get utterly humiliated in front of the live TV audience! And today's contestants are: John and Hannah from New York, New York! Oh, good old Sinatra, can't go wrong with him, can we? Second couple: Dipper and Wendy from Gravity Falls, Oregon! I do wonder what trail did you meet on? Ha, ha... And last, but not least Hermenegilde-Rosalia and Gottfried Gottfriedietovych from Classified, Information. Well, that just asks for *more* quest- No? ...alright then. Which one of these lovey-dovey couples is going to be victorious? You'll find out soon! - Dipper... how did we get into this mess? - Wendy whispered through her teeth, nervously waving her arm at the audience, while the excited hosts kept running back and forth on the stage doing his extravagant spiel. - You know, I'm not entirely sure this is real, Wendy. - Dipper replied, mimicking her monotone moves, trying with his might to remember what put them in this predicament.

- It's on, it's on, it's on! Bouncing up and down on the couch in the living room, the voice of Mabel Pines quickly alerted other inhabitants (permanent or not) of the Mystery Shack.

- Mabel, what's the hurry?

Dipper peeked from the kitchen, only to be pushed aside by his grunkle who seemed to be equally interested in the show Mabel was watching. From the opposite side of the shack came Soos, rushing through the front door, filling the vast majority of the couch.

- It's "Coup de Couple"! It's the newest show for romantic couples, Dip! Not that *you*'d be interested in it. - Mabel snorted, without even so much as looking away from the screen. - Oh, don't be too harsh, Mabel. Hey, Dipper, you gotta watch this. These dorks have to go through all these silly challenges and whatnot, and it's always the funniest part when they start arguing who's to blame when they lose. They all start with "Ooh, I love you, smoochykins", and end up like two cats after a fight. It's hilarious! - And I'm watching for the product placement to make up for the ads I don't see on my computer. - Soos added - It always makes me so feel so guilty. I'd feel awful if someone kept blocking me all the time... But then I hear the jingles on the TV and everything is fine! Neither of the three responses fully convinced Dipper that his time is worth watching the show, but the stares of Stan, Mabel and Soos slowly pulled him towards the only remaining space on the couch, its arm. Stan's description of the show matched it pretty well; the couples on the show were forced to test their feelings toward each other through a series of questions, challenges, obstacle runs and alike. And indeed, the funniest part of the show was the couples bickering or throwing insults at each other for their failures.

- How do they count who won? I don't see any points. - Pfh! Silly Dipper, you and your nerdy numbers. The only thing that counts is looove! - Mabel mocked her brother. - And look, that's how they do it. Only now Dipper saw three columns behind each couple's back filled with outrageously pink liquid. As the announcer declared winners and losers of yet another round, the levels of the fluid lowered or raised, according to their place.

- Oh no! Anna and Drake lost "a lot", but Vicky and Randall got "a tidbit"! That's so unfair. They should have won. - Mabel crossed her arms in displeasure, as the glass column of the middle pair got filled nearly up to the top. - Is it over? - Pretty much - Stan replied - And now the guy will tell that they won a yacht cruise, or weekend at some hotel, or something equally pricey. - That's soo romantic! - Be real, kiddo, it's TV, it's all made up. - Stan barked - You see these two, all kissing and stuff? Once the curtains fall, they all gonna start hating each other. They cancel the cruise, or hotel, or whatever, and the studio doesn't have to pay for it. - Oh come on, Grunkle Stan, it can't be THAT bad. To Dipper's surprise, Stan yanked the remote from Mabel's hands, switching to the infamous gossip channel, MTZ. The fast-pacing camera movements followed what looked like the same couple that a moment ago won, now storming out of the back entrance of a TV studio, arguing along the way.

- Wait, what? - Dipper moved closer to the screen - They can't be the same people! - What did you expect, Dipper? It sells, so their gonna broadcast it. Oh come on, Mabel, stop crying. - Stan gently patted his grand-niece's head. - You're not gonna find love in reality shows. - Mr. Pines, can I get a pat too? - Soos took off his hat and leaned to Stan's other side. - Maybe later. The loud discussion caught the attention of a fifth inhabitant and the fourth Pines of Mystery Shack, Ford.

- What's going on? Don't tell me the laserdisc drive is broken, I just fixed it- The group at the couch got silent when Ford's face turned white and he rushed to the screen, practically glueing his eyes to it.

- Ford, what the heck? - It's him!

Moving aside, Ford pointed to the presenter of the show, giving his weekly interview, babbling to no end about the saucy, behind-the-scenes bits of trivia about contestants.

- I know this man. Well, a "man" is a bit of an exaggeration. - Ford explained, turning to his family - He's an alien, his name is Agrok Buzma. At least that's what his name was last time. - Woah. Did he do something bad, Grunkle Ford? - Mabel asked, eager to hear his explanation. - He's a conman, that's who he is. Wanted in ten clusters for all kinds of wrong doing. Can you believe that he tried selling a medium-sized solar system, and not once, but twice? I nearly caught him, but he got away. - Grunkle Ford, you've never mentioned you were a cop! - Dipper shouted, scooting closer to him. - Yeah, Ford, nice to hear I've got a snitch for a brother! - Oh come on, Stanley, I had to pick up bounty-hunting when I was... away. I thought that I could outsmart him...

Ford turned his face away to the man dressed in a suit matching the same extraordinarily vibrant pink from before.

- Mr Ford, do you think he wants to have revenge on you? - I don't think so, Soos. I never told him where I'm from. - Ford scratched his beard - And if what I'm seeing is correct, he might be trying to get away with another one of his swindels. - Woah, woah, woah. - Stan interrupted - I think you said something about a bounty before, brother. - Well isn't that opportunistic, Stanley. Ford groaned - A conman trying to get another conman in jail. What example are you giving to Dipper and Mabel? Two youngest Pines jumped from their seats to Ford's neck, tugging his sweater back and forth.

- Grunkle Ford, can we please help you capture the space conman? - Please, Grunkle Ford! I need a new topic for "What I did during holidays" anyway! Last year my teacher did not believe I met a unicorn. - I'm actually terrified of this, but I just want to belong - Soos said, once he jumped to the group.

From the middle of the Pines fluff pile, Ford gave Stan a stern look, before begrudgingly agreeing to his brother's idea, perhaps just to be able to move again.

The group sat in Ford's basement, watching recorded episodes of the show over and over, trying to understand his nefarious plan.

- See these pink glass tubes? I have a feeling that is not just coloured water. - Ford paused the video and pointed to the screen - Hah. Mabel told me it was liquid "loove" - Dipper mocked his sister, who blew her tongue to him in return - So what is it, Grunkle Ford? Some sort of dangerous chemical? - I'm afraid your sister might be right. This is love. - Ha! Who's the nerd now, Dip? alpha twin! Alpha twin! - Mabel chanted - Well, it's not so much as love, as memories of love. - Ford continued - See, Agrok wasn't just a conman, he was also a smuggler. An emotion smuggler, and empatovore, a creature that feeds on feelings. He got his hands on an equipment to suck up emotional memories, very similar to the one I, uh, used on Stan. - And what would he do with it? - He was going to steal people's emotions and then sell them to, well, needy people. Those who think they can substitute love with money. Quite a profitable market, you can imagine. Never got to pull that scheme off, but I'm going to bet he finally found a place to harvest. Ford leaned on his swivel chair, staring at the TV show host.

- Any idea how we are going to get him? - Dipper asked cautiously - Here's what I've been thinking. - Ford suddenly jumped to his feet - I'm gonna have to sneak behind the scenes to see how does the machine work. But I will also need someone to take part in the show to distract him. - Try Mabel. She's switching boyfriends left, right and centre. - I am not! - Mabel retorted - I only had five this Summer. - I don't think you remember, Mabel. - Ford interrupted - The more two people love each other, the more valuable their emotions are, so we can't have you and, uh, your current boyfriend. But you can accompany me in the sneaky business.

Mabel cheered loudly, as Ford gave her a wide smile. He sat back in his chair and begun thinking out loud.

- Now, we need the contestants. Let's see... Stan is, let's face it, a bit too old to be a plausible candidate, Soos and his girlfriend are out of the way for obvious reasons, that leaves us with...

- Wendy and Dipper, you are next in line of questions, you have a minute to prepare! - Agrok announced, patting the backs of John and Hannah, who stepped out from two booths in the middle of the scene

- Remember, dude, we have to act like we are a couple. - Wendy whispered. - Got the list I gave you? - I, I think so. - Dipper stammered, rummaging through his pockets. - Good, now give me a kiss. If Dipper was afraid of his performance before, then Wendy's order completely threw him off.

- Wait, wha- - Oh, just get over it. For the next few seconds, the world around Dipper seemed to slow down, as Wendy leaned and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. The smell of her very subtle perfume has overwhelmed him, and only when she playfully flicked his chin, Dipper realised he had his mouth open the whole time.

The round of applause brought him back to reality, when Dipper found himself being lead into the closed chamber by Agrok's assistant, dressed from head to feet in pink. The door of the cabin closed behind him, cutting him off from the rest of the studio, apart from Agrok's voice.

- You've got two minutes to answer correctly as many questions about your unending looove as possible! Are you ready, Dipper? Even though it was the only source of sound in the booth, his voice seemed far-away, as Dipper's mind wandered off to all the times he spent with Wendy, remembering each and every single little detail he obsessed about. And even though he shouldn't, he felt brave.

- Oh yeah, let's do this!

- Favourite old movie? - "The night the Moon was spinning like crazy", 1951

- Weapon of choice? - Hatchet, 16 inches long, 1.2 pounds. Short, but very versatile, ideal for throwing. - Favourite song? - "Chop, chop, chop" by Lumberzacks, but she wouldn't admit it.

Behind the scenes of the quiz, a different show took place. Two guards lay down in a semi-unconscious state, their mouths overflowing with sparkly, pink Smile Dip and two cards saying "We're sorry" pinned to their uniforms. With Mabel keeping guard, Ford was able to inspect the large machinery that took most of the space hidden from viewers.

- I knew it! Triumphantly, Ford raised from the open hatch of the machine, holding a counter, still connected to the device.

- This thing is measuring the emotions of the poor people as we speak. Once the contestants win, it sucks them in one go. So that's how he chooses his prey... How are Wendy and Dipper doing? Pulling the curtains slightly, Mabel peeked again to check on her brother's score.

- Pretty good! - Mabel stated, once she turned back to Ford. - No surprise here, Dipper used to be completely crazy about her! Wendy not so much, though. I mean, she- Mabel flinched, when Ford dropped his screwdriver, making a loud, metallic noise upon impact. Before she could react, Ford grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her towards him.

- Wait, what did you say? - Uh, that Dipper was crazy about her? Ford's face turned properly white from fear, preventing him from finding a response for a moment.

- Are-Are these two dating? Were they dating, kissing, whatever? - Well, Dipper *was* in love with Wendy. - Mabel admitted, fidgeting with her hair - Pretty much everyone knew about it. But that was long time ago, and you know, Wendy kinda gave him a cold shoulder. And, you know, I think he kinda got over it.

The more Mabel told about Dipper's ex-crush, the less confident she was in her own words, and so was Ford. Suddenly, a very vivid memory of Wendy's name flashing through the screen during the scan of Dipper's memory came back to Ford, who clutched his head in panic.

- I should have asked him about that! He just said that they're not dating. - Ford kicked the metallic support beam in anger - Even if he forget all about it, which I doubt, he's in a grave danger. And so is Wendy, we need to intervene!

- And let's see the results! - Agrok announced loudly, freeing Wendy from her chamber - Dipper answered twenty out of twenty questions about you, while you gave... three correct answers. Not the best score, but we've certainly seen worse. Am I right, guys?

Agrok turned to Hermenegilde and Gottfried, arguing at the end of the scene, seemingly in different languages.

- I thought so. Well, given that, let's fill the Looooove Tubes! A loud, buzzing noise filled the stage, as the liquid in three containers shifted their position, giving Wendy and Dipper a second place so far.

- So, our lovebirds have had their chance to test their knowledge about each other, but ultimately, the thrill is in a chase! Our contestants will have to find each other in a maze, and only those who know each other best will be able to do so!

The audience cheered and gasped, as the decorations on stage change position to make place for a long, winded labyrinth, filled with enormous, but goofy-looking traps and pit-falls with green TV ooze.

- Okay, Dip, that's not bad. - Wendy whispered - We got second place, and let's stick to that. - Yeah, we're gonna do this, Wendy, I'll do my best. - I do wonder if Ford and Mabel found what they were looking for.

Dipper looked to the side of the audience where his sister and Grunkle were sitting, and to his surprise, he saw their places empty. Curiously, it took him a moment to remember what they were suppose to do, but he blamed the stress for it. Still, Dipper couldn't understand how could he forget about the mission to capture the alien host staying just a couple meters away...

Underneath the scene, Mabel and Ford were rummaging through the odd items in Agrok's crammed control room. It would seem that Agrok spent quite some time on Earth, as his desk was filled with cassettes with old soap operas, TV shows and other products of pop-culture Mabel found very interesting. - Grunkle Ford, what's that? - she asked, pulling a rectangular object with knobs around it.

- A communicator, Mabel! Like a cell phone, except this one has all the connections disabled... - Ford explained, poking various parts of the device's screen. - Let me see... I think Agrok doesn't want the Interstellar Government to trace him down... Too bad someone's gonna call them from this very machine, ha!

Dipper's thoughts were once again interrupted, when Wendy poked him, signalling their turn. Wendy and Dipper stood on the opposite sides of the giant maze and were given safety helmets with small cameras on top and headphones. On Agrok's sign, the two launched into the labyrinth, trying to get to its centre. Of cours,e none of the routes went straight there; Dipper nearly caught himself in the plastic jaws of plastic crocodiles with plastic teeth, when he tried turning right. Wendy expertly jumped over progressively wider green rivers filled with the sticky goo, but was an inch away from getting pinned to the wall with Cupid's arrows.

- Dipper, where are you? Wendy shouted, only to realise that she couldn't locate Dipper's voice. The large helmet over her head transmitted it through microphone, giving her no signal where her friend was.

- I'm near the trap with the giant hearts. Have you been there? - A minute ago, we must have missed each other. - she replied - Dipper, I don't know what to do with this one. She looked at the bizarre, wooden structure with different handles and levers, and decided to step inside it.

- Did you try pulling one of it see what happens?

In response, Dipper heard a loud "crack" and a piercing, blood-freezing scream of Wendy calling for help. - Well, well, well, looks like the lumberjill fell into her own trap! - Agrok's voice boomed in his ears, but not before Dipper threw the helmet off his head and followed Wendy's real, unobstructed voice.

He noticed her trapped in wooden crate, suspended high above the pool of green goo. What was worse, the trap was not stationary, but rose high in the air.

- Don't worry, Wendy, I'm coming for you! - Ah, but I think we have some illegal move here, contestants are required to wear helmets all the time - Agrok said in slightly cocky voice over the speakers. - Health and safety be damned! - Dipper screamed, climbing onto nearby structure seeing Wendy's cage right underneath it. Dipper was quite sure that in his life he hasn't jumped that far, nor that he has ever felt for life that much. With two broken Cupid's arrows in his hands, he landed on the cage, and begun fiddling with its lock. Behind the wooden bars, he saw the stunning, green eyes of Wendy shouting at him.

- Dipper, what are you doing? - What? I'm saving you! Give me a moment to open it. As if on command, the hatch of the cage opened, letting Wendy escape and clutch Dipper's shoulders.

- Dipper, this is a show! - I know, hang on! Having no idea what her friend was doing, Wendy listened to him and held to his smaller body, wondering what he was about to do. The answer became obvious, when she saw Dipper trying to cut one of the lines keeping the cage above the ground with his pocket knife.

- No, no, no, Dipper, don't do thaaaat!

To the horror of audience and the other contestants, with a loud "snap" the cage plummeted towards the green ooze, but it was nothing compared to the whooshing sound of the air in Wendy's ears, as the two soared through the air, her hanging on Dipper, and Dipper hanging on the line. The terrifying moment lasted only a couple of seconds, and ended when the two crash-landed on the very same platform Dipper jumped from a moment earlier.

- Wendy! Wendy, are you okay? Dipper rushed to his friend, lying on the ground with a grimace on her face. But as he came closer, it became obvious that it wasn't a sign of pain, but of anger.

- Dipper! What the hell was that? - Wendy snapped - What's gotten into you?! - I... - he stammered - I was saving you, Wendy! I couldn't let that cage fell with you... - Dipper, it's a show. - she repeated - You were supposed to pull the lever on the ground, or something. I wasn't in any danger. Dipper, that was really, really... - ... FANTASTIC! A loud voice boomed from the speakers around the scene, as the lights centred on Dipper and Wendy's figures.

- A man rushing to save his loved one from a deadly trap, missing the obvious solution and deciding to prove his manliness? Well, if that's not love, then I don't know what that was!

Dipper and Wendy looked to their right, and saw the pink tube with their names filling all the way to the top.

- Dipper... - Wendy cried - Please tell me you're not... You don't... - Of course I do love you, Wendy, I cannot hide it, can't just forget about it! - But you forgot why are we here! - she grabbed his shoulders and shook him - We were supposed to catch him and don't win! - Oh? Well that changes everything. In one moment, the lights around the studio went out, drowning the panicked audience in darkness. Curtain fell on the stage, cutting it off from the rest of the building.

- I must admit, I did not expect that anyone would find out about my plan. - Dipper and Wendy flinched, when Agrok's figure emerged from the shadow. - You humans are really stupid. So you two love-brids wanted to catch me pink-handed, but you forgot what my weapon is? Before either Wendy, or Dipper could react, Agrok pulled a large gun from his behind and shoot a beam of pinkish light towards Dipper, who first stood up to prevent it from hitting Wendy. A think, pinkish aura surrounded Dipper, making him fell to the floor, unable to move. As the beam grew in length, the glow around Dipper's body grew in size, and soon begun sipping towards the empty container in Agrok's gun. And then, Dipper started asking himself questions. Why did he do that? Why did he risk his life for woman, who told him she did not love him? And not once, but several times? Why would he do something so stupid? Why did he lost so much time thinking about her, dreaming about their future that would never happen?

Somewhere around him, a man laughed, and a woman cried. Then, several things happened in quick succession. The same beam from Agrok's gun hit Wendy, but unlike Dipper, who lay motionlessly on the floor, in near catatonic state, she got to her knees, and ran towards Agrok, to his deepest surprise. The gun worked, as another aura begun forming around Wendy's body, but that did not stop her in the slightest. A blueish-green beam begun sipping into the container, making Agrok nearly drop the gun from his hand.

- But, how? You should be drained of your love! Don't you love him? One last thing Agrok remembered before passing out, was the right hook of Wendy Corduroy hitting him. He never heard her answer. - Dipper, Dipper, please, wake up! - Wendy cried once she kneeled by Dipper's body - Dipper? Dipper!

A second voice filled the room. Mabel pines rushed to Wendy's side, her eyes equally filled with tears.

- What... what happened to him? - He was hit by this thing. - Ford explained, taking the gun from Agrok's body. - Wendy, step aside, I'll have to-

He stopped for a moment, as he saw her glowing figure.

- Wait, you got hit as well? Oh dear, that's not good. - Where the hell have you two been? - Wendy shouted through tears - I don't know what happened to Dipper! - We've been trying to dismantle the pump. - Mabel explained, tugging on Wendy's shirt - But grunkle Ford told that it would be better to leave it to the, uh, Space Police... And then we went to search his room, and then the light went off, and we knew something bad happened.

Ford cursed under his breath, examining Agrok's gun.

- Okay, I think I managed to reverse it, but I can't be sure. The thing is, he wanted to extract emotions from one of you, and ended up draining both. I don't know if- - What about Dipper? - Wendy cried - Will it work for him?

It took a minute for Ford to answer.

- I sure hope so.

He pointed the gun towards Dipper, and gently pressed the trigger. The blue-green-pink beam hit Dipper, and to lesser extent Wendy, slowly emptying the container. As soon as Ford stopped firing, he rushed to his grand-nephew's body, to see if his method worked.

- Guys, I, I don't feel fine either - Wedny suddenly grabbed her head, and lay back, supporting herself with her other arm. - That's normal, you have just been hit with lots of conflicting emotions. Mabel, help her.

While Ford checked Dipper's pulse, Mabel pulled her backpack to secure Wendy, who fortunately didn't require that much help. Somewhere around Dipper pines, a man was speaking to him loudly.

- Dipper, Dipper, can you hear me? - Grunkle... Ford? - Dipper! - Mabel rushed to his brother, throwing his arms around him. But then, a third pair of arms joined them, the one Dipper sought for the most.

- Dude, don't scare us next time. We thought you were gone. - Wendy... Mabel... Wait, what happened? Before either of them could answer, a searing pain shot through his skull, oddly enough, answering the questions he asked.

And to his horror, much more.

To Mabel and Ford's surprise, Dipper grabbed onto Wendy's shirt, and begun chanting something under his breath.

- I'm so, so sorry Wendy that I screwed up and that I... I... - Don't worry, Dipper, I get it.

Wendy gently patted him on his head, and pulled him into a hug.

Suddenly, an odd beeping filled the stage, causing Ford to spring to his feet. He pulled a large, rectangular device from his pocket and placed it on the ground, giving his friends a warning not to stare directly at it. In a split of a second, in the middle of the ruined stage, a portal appeared, drowning the room with white, blinding light. The irregular beeps of Ford's communicator became a steady signal, loud enough that it woke up Agrok, who suddenly found himself facing not one, but two of his old enemies.

- Oh, no, not you! - Agrok shouted, shifting his eyes from Ford and the creature that stepped out of the portal.

It was a weird, purple looking humanoid with black eyes and three arms. Out of the four humans on the stage, only Ford didn't look surprised, while Mabel, Dipper and even Wendy took a step back.

- Agrok Buzma. - the alien spoke in even, cold voice. - It has been quite a lot of time, hasn't it?

A pair of ethereal-looking handcuffs appeared out of nowhere, sealing themselves around Agrok's appendages. The alien saw Ford stepping towards it, and moved one of his arms to greet him.

- We haven't seen in equally long time, Ford. I see that you finally found your way to your home planet. - Yes, I did. And I finally got the guy that put me in so much trouble.

Ford stepped back, when Agrok's restrained body was levitated through the portal.

- Thank you for your cooperation. We will contact you once we judge his crimes. - the alien stated - I think it would be wise for you to keep his communicator. I don't think Earth's technology is powerful enough to contact us yet. - Sure do, officer. Ford replied and shook the alien's arm again, as the portal closed behind it. He took a good, long look at the half-destroyed stage.

- Well, it didn't go exactly as we planned it, but we got him. - Ford cheered - Come on, we need to clean this mess, but more importantly, take you home.

He offered Wendy his shoulder, but the lumberjill was a bit busy taking care of Dipper, who in his state needed a bit more help than she did. One step at a time, the four adventurers left for the exit.

Two figures were sitting on the porch of the Mystery Shack, slowly licking ice-cream cones taken from the fridge.

- How do you feel, man? - Wendy asked, giving Dipper a slight poke. - I... I don't know - he replied - Wendy, I'm sorry I screwed up, I didn't mean to. - Chill out, Dip, I... I get it. - she replied, finally seeing Dipper's eyes he kept hidden from her for the large part of the day. - I guess it's really hard for me to forget my feelings about you. - I know, right? It's like that bit about white elephants. - Wendy added out of the blue, gathering Dipper's attention. - About what? - Dipper, whatever you do, don't think about white elephants. - Wendy snapped her fingers - Quick, what are you thinking about? - Uh, white elephants, I guess. - See? It's your brain that screwed up, not you. - she ruffled his hair and gave him a quick nudge They both took a lick of their ice-cream, before Wendy admitted somewhat sheepishly. - And you know, I think I now know how you felt then, when I, uh, kinda gave you a cold shoulder.

Dipper stared into Wendy's face, despite the fact that the lumberjill made effort to avoid his eyes. - No one ever gave me one, so I wasn't sure how you are going to handle it. - she continued. - It's a bit different than breaking up, when... someone didn't even give you a chance. - Wendy, it's al-right. I'm the one to blame anyway. - Yeah, but if I didn't.... - But I DID, Wendy... Wendy jumped a bit when she felt Dipper's hand on her shoulder. To her surprise, Dipper's face wasn't filled with astonishment, or typical uneasiness of his that showed up whenever she was around. In his eyes she saw understanding, and even though he was still the same dorky friend of hers, Dipper Pines looked different.

- Thanks, Dipper. She pulled him into a long, consolatory hug. - No hard feelings? - No, no whatsoever. - Wendy smiled. - That race was awesome. - Dipper changed the subject, watching as Wendy;s face brightens - Oh yeah. But you gotta train to be faster, you know. I could show you a trick or two. - Really? - Sure. Wake up early, like around 6 am. It's not gonna be that hot. Oh, and bring that playlist, you showed me, I love listening to that group. I'm gonna train you the Courduroy style.

- That's all, high inspector. I'm afraid me and, uh, my team, couldn't salvage more than just these containers. In the basement of Mystery Shack, an inter-dimensional portal was opened, one that remained Ford very much of the one that removed him from his home planet for decades.

- Interesting. - a vaguely humanoid alien pondered, looking at the pinkish glass - Are you sure nothing else remained of Agrok's collection? - Well, others were sold or destroyed, and my team had some of the memories drained, but, eh, it wasn't exactly love. It was some murky, blue-green mess. We returned the memories to them, of course, as well as other contestants. - Oh? Well, I think you just passed on much better deal than the one with us, Ford. - Whaddya mean? - If I'm not mistaken, and as an empatovore I am rarely wrong when it comes to emotions, Agrok was extracting just love. But than can be so easily faked, so many substitutes available. True love grows for years, through friendship, conflicts, laughter and sadness. Don't know what Agrok stumbled upon with your partners, but if he knew what to look for, he'd probably have fought ten times stronger for it. The alien stepped away from portal. A moment later its three elongated appendages took a container from a shelf Ford saw at the far end of the warehouse and brought it up front.

- That looks like the one taken from Wendy and Dipper - Ford's eyes widened, as he saw the green-blue substance twirling in the glass container. - It is difficult to spot love amongst other emotions. You shouldn't blame them. - he stated calmly

The alien pressed two of his arms to both ends of the container. The motionless mix of colours begun moving, forming complex, geometric patterns with occasional new colours popping up on the borders of different layers.

- Er, if I may ask, what are you doing? - Ford inquired, hoping the container wouldn't explode him in the face. - Localised time manipulation. We have permission, before you ask. - the alien replied in the same, cold, monotone voice - Ten or so Earth solar cycle units, give it or take. Ah, there it is. a pinkish blog surfaced, easing its way between other colours, forming a multicoloured, delicate, fractal-like patterns, that made Ford's eyes grew wide.

- Of course, it would be equally easy for me to imagine a future when love doesn't bloom. Quite a lot of disturbances here. But, if what you saw was right, then it was a perfect starting point for it, if I have ever seen one. - Heh, good for them, I guess. - Ford stroked his chin. - Thank you, for, uh, for showing me that. - Aren't you forgetting something? Ford looked into the alien's black eyes, trying desperately to remember what other kind of breaking news he could get, after the last one. - Your payment. - the alien moved the edges of his head orifice that formed a smile-like shape, and gave Ford a small package.

- Guys, I just got in touch with the Inspectorate. And... uh, where's Dipper? And Wendy? I want to speak with them. - They went jogging or something. - Mabel shrugged her arms, staring blankly at the TV screen - Dipper spent last night putting songs on his phone. Why do you ask?

Ford smiled under his breath. - Eh, doesn't matter now. I've got a decade or so to tell them.

Hearing his voice, Stan rushed from the kitchen to interrogate him. - So, what about that bounty, eh? Did you get it? - Well, the good news is that the Interstellar High Inspectorate has acknowledged it, despite my expired bounty hunter license. - Ford! Oh, dear brother of mine, you finally did something worthy of Pines name! How could I ever doubt in you? - Stan shouted, pulling Ford into a deep, but short hug - Now, where's the moolah? - I'm afraid they gave it to me in some form of Earth money I don't quite understand. Ford took a single flash drive from his pocket

- Now, can anyone tell me what "Frogcoin" is?

Laserdiscs are real. They're awesome, Google them.

MTZ is an obvious stab at a celebrity gossip programme TMZ, mixed with MTV. Don't Google them.

Frogcoin is a combination of Dogecoin, a cryptocurrency, and "Pepe the frog", whose pictures somehow got so popular, that they became a currency on 4chan's /b/ board (DO NOT GOOGLE IT)

"Chop, chop, chop" by Lumberzacks is a song from "Milo Murphy's Law" GOOGLE THIS SHOW A LOT.

#wendip #wendipweek #wendip week #wendy x dipper #dipperxwendy #gravity falls #dipper pines #wendy corduroy #fake relationship

[pfhwrittes]

for your wip wednesday i would love to know what esoteric kinks you think each of the 141 has (hell, throw in laswell, nik, and valeria too for funsies) -391780

@391780 oooh coming in with the kink question! i love it! i'm gonna give you bullets point though beloved.

18+ only gang, we're talking kink.

TW: breathplay (price), body modification kink and genital piercings (gaz), temperature play and wax play (soap), praise kink (ghost), competency kink (laswell), voyeurism (nikolai), bratting (valeria).

price is a sucker for a bit of breathplay. there's nothing he loves more than his partner's thighs trapping his head in place as he goes down on them. don't worry, he's got a signal all worked out with them. two quick taps to say he needs a break to get some proper lungfuls in and he'll be ready to go again. no no, squeeze tighter sweetheart, he wants this.

gaz has a thing for body modification. tattoos? he'll trace every line with his tongue no matter where they are on his partner's body. piercings? gentle tweaks with his fingers or if he can get away with it, pulling on them with his teeth. he's definitely inspired multiple of his previous partners to get nipple piercings if they didn't already have them. one day he'll get someone to get a prince albert or christina piercing....

soap is into temperature play in a big way. he fucking delights in gaz sticking his freezing cold hands on the back of his neck when they're mucking around, it sends a shudder down his spine and gets him chubbing up unintentionally. he has fond memories of his last partner dribbling body safe wax over his chest and stomach and then them using their nails to scratch it off once it had dried.

ghost has a praise kink a mile wide. he turns to absolute putty if his partner praises him for his intelligence, his arms, the way he listens so well to instructions. pair that with some gentle touches and you'll have the man purring like a tomcat in your lap.

laswell gets off on competency. show that you've got the knowledge and experience in your field and she'll be watching you with a certain glint in her eye. kate fully admits that this caused some slight confusion when she was figuring out her sexuality during her twenties. after all, was she actually attracted to men or was it a particular man being cool, calm and collected under pressure? don't worry, she figured it out. now she shows her wife exactly how much she likes it when she shows off her phd.

nikolai is a voyuer. nothing gets him going like his partner showing off for him by sending him pictures of their outfits or allowing him to patch into the internal security cameras as they go about their day. it's even better if they let him watch as they masturbate using the toys he bought them.

valeria subverts expectations. everyone expects her to be a sadistic dom, when actually she's an incredibly bratty sub. she pushes limits and boundaries over and over and revels in getting "funishments" and punishments. after all, what's life without a little pásion?

#here be kink #pfh prompts #jp #kg #jm #sr #nikolai #kl #vg #am i just shoving my kinks into characters? sure am! #check the warnings at the top because i'm not putting them in the tags!

[pfhwrittes]

hello p! here with a prompt for tradie!141. i’m curious about how any of the fellas would react to reader teaching them a handy trick or easily solving a problem they’ve been struggling with on a job site.

hi sy! aw yis, more tradie!141 for everyone! so, i actually had two ideas for this one. initially i was going to go write how transmasc!tradie would go about bending pipe but i realised that it wasn't very body inclusive of me to assume that transmasc!tradie would be less capable than the boys physically so i've binned that one.

instead you get this instead. it's another johnny heavy instalment because he's a bloody drama queen.

TW: discussions of feet (in the context of keep them warm in your boots, not anything else).

it's a fucking miserable day on site. it's cold as shit, or as price had said "it's brass monkeys out there today lads" so everyone is more miserable than usual. well, nearly everyone.

kyle's alright because he's got the industrial heaters in the room he's working in, he claims it's to help the plaster to dry out evenly and to reduce the chances of causing damp. so he's swanning about in his base layer.

simon's layered up in a massive quilted hi-vis jacket and a skull print balaclava. johnny got a punch on the arm when he said that simon looks like the world's shittest bank robber. you were smart enough to keep your mouth shut even if you did privately agree with him.

price had begged off working, claiming it was too cold to be fucking about with shaving down doors so he's posted up in the site office with a little fan heater cranked up and a hand written sign on the door warning them all not to leave the door open under any circumstances while he goes through purchase order invoices.

but johnny? johnny's miserable as fuck about it and come break time he's bitching up a storm about how he "cannae even feel my fuckin' toes in my boots!" as he huddles around his steaming mug of coffee.

you make a sympathetic noise in the back of your throat as you wrap your chilly hands around your own mug and allow yourself to zone out a bit as he carries on.

"how come yer not freezin' yer tits off then, flash?" johnny's question interrupts your musing about pipe lagging.

"got heat patches stuck to my socks mate." you tell him nonchalantly before you take a careful sip from your mug.

"what?!" johnny sounds scandalised and you're not sure if it's because you're warmer than him or if it's because of your slightly odd way of keeping warm.

you just shrug and take another careful sip. honestly you're a bit baffled that johnny doesn't have heat patches in his boots. it was one of the first tricks you'd learned when you were working with your previous company.

"g'wan then, show us." johnny leans forward eagerly so you pop your mug on the table and bend down to unlace your boots.

johnny watches with a look of concentration as you pull off your boot, one thick woollen sock and a plastic bag sandwich bag with the zipper ripped off (which earns you a pair of raised eyebrows), to reveal your thin cotton sock with a heat patch stuck to the sole of your foot.

"mate, that's pure genius!" johnny praises loudly. "'m definitely gonna dae that the morrow."

#tradie!141 #pfh prompts #tw feet #jm #kg #jp #sr #transmasc!reader #re: keeping your feet warm - it does work! #but your feet will be stinkin' by the end of the day because you've trapped all the moisture in the plastic bag so just bear that in mind

[pfhwrittes]

Cariad, may I request more of your Transmasc!Tradie x 141? I'm afraid I might be head over heels for them.

(Btw, are they hiring? Maybe they need a landscaper? I'm real good at getting dirty. 😉)

of course you may! more transmasc!tradie and tradie force 141 coming up!

no trigger warnings for this one (unless you're sensitive to a bit of swearing!)

featuring johnny mactavish telling a shit joke.

"oi! flash!"

you look up from where you're sifting through your tool bag, hunting unsuccessfully for the blue handled screw driver you know is in there somewhere.

you hum in acknowledgement of johnny's ridiculous new nickname for you.

"what?"

johnny saunters over and you watch the way his hips sway teasingly for a moment before you spy the phone pointed in your direction and you groan.

"oh fuck off mate, i don't want to be in your tiktok."

"aw c'mon flash! it'll be fun! i've got a wee joke fer ye!" johnny is all smiles behind the camera. you huff and roll your eyes.

"go on then. i'm not gonna get any peace until you tell me anyway."

johnny clears his throat dramatically.

"flash, what d'ya call an electrician's apprentice?"

you stare at johnny flatly.

"aw c'mon, ye've got tae play along!"

"alright. fine." you sigh, before saying in an exaggerated fashion "gee, i dunno. what do you call an electrician's apprentice?"

"a shock absorber!"

you blink and quirk an unimpressed eyebrow as johnny flushes.

"fine, you tell a better joke then!" johnny grumbles and you smirk in response.

"how many sparkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

johnny waits for a moment, frowning while he thinks of the answer before his face clears.

"one standing completely still while the rest of the site revolves around them."

a loud bark of laughter from the doorway makes you jump and johnny swings around to film simon's crooked grin.

"aw, away an' boil yer heids the pair of yis!"

#tradie!141 #pfh prompts #jm #sr #transmasc!reader #of course johnny posted the video and got ROASTED in the comments

[pfhwrittes]

Here's my take on @stuffireadandenjoy's prompt "Price’s thoughts while reading a smutty romance novel." from this post.

Not quite what the prompt asked for, but I couldn’t help myself. Also the book Price is reading is entirely fictional to my knowledge but if there are any similarities between it and any published works it is entirely coincidental and accidental! 

492 words of TF141 banter at John Price's expense under the cut.

– “Jesus -” John huffs out before hastily cutting himself off, just in case any of his sharp eared subordinates catch on and decide to poke their noses into what exactly their captain is reading. 

“Eloise whined into Lord MacTarrant’s broad, hairy chest as she felt his thick length probe at her wet entrance, ‘Please Sir!’ she cried - Hey! I was readin’ that!” Soap squawked from over John’s shoulder, trying and failing to snatch at the lurid purple cover as John snapped the book shut. 

“Didn’t know you knew ‘ow to read, Johnny.” Simon teases from John’s other side. John grumbles deep in his chest at getting caught by these two jokers. At least Garrick hasn’t - 

“What’s Fairy Liquid reading?” Garrick pipes up as he walks into the rec room. 

Bollocks. 

“No’ me! The Captain!” Soap wrenches his arm back from where he’s been slapping ineffectually at John’s wrist. Bloody child. 

“Alright then, what’s Cap reading then?” Garrick breaks into a wide grin as he plunks himself gracelessly at John’s feet. Fuck. He’s trapped on the sagging sofa, pinned between Simon perched on the arm, Soap at his back and Garrick (the traitor) blocking his frontal escape. If he wasn’t so miffed at getting caught reading The Lord’s Lover he’d be proud of the way they managed to pin him down without him noticing. 

“None of your concern, sergeant.” John growls out, he needs to nip this in the bud. Now. 

“It’s smut!” Soap crows triumphantly just as Simon snakes the book out of John’s grip so he can flick through the pages.

“It’s not bloody smut!” John bristles, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. 

“Eloise shuddered violently as Lord MacTarrant sucked her nipples into the scorching heat of his mouth. ‘Please Sir! I can’t take much more of your teasing!’ she sobbed, feeling her core flood with a wetness she’d never felt before -” Simon reads dutifully, pitching his voice into a breathy soprano as he quotes the ever randy Eloise. 

“Sounds like smut to me mate!” Garrick’s grin stretches even wider as John feels his cheeks flush a blotchy red in embarrassment. 

“Alright, alright. That’s enough.” John huffs, holding out his hand so Simon can drop the bloody book in his palm. “The missus gave it to me -”

Soap cuts John off with a wolf whistle, “Oh I bet she did, sir.” 

“Oi, none of that mate. Louise is a good woman.” Garrick’s grin has dropped into a stern line. Good lad, John thinks to himself and gives Garrick a short nod of approval. 

“Sorry sir, didn’t mean to imply - well, ye ken.” Soap mutters abashedly. John revels in the slightly uncomfortable silence that follows before heaving himself to his feet. 

“If that’ll be all gentlemen. I think I’ll finish this -” John gestures with the book “- in the privacy of my own quarters.” before he stalks out of the rec room. 

– Excerpt of a text transcript between two private numbers later that same evening:

>> I enjoyed the book, love.  << I thought you would, Captain 😘

#pfh prompts #i'm in the mood to write silly banter between the boys today apparently #brief references to #john price x oc #but mostly it's just the boys being silly #jm #jp #sr #kg

[pfhwrittes]

Okay, follow up to Gaz and Ghost razzing Soap over comms and he can’t respond:

This time, it’s Gaz’s turn. Soap determines it’s payback time and Ghost goes along with it. (Because let’s face it, he would.)

Gemma I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this prompt out. My brain went off in a million different directions before finally settling on this one. It's not my best work but it did make me laugh, hopefully it makes you smile too! 459 words of silliness (again). Also, I'm sorry for the earworm. “Ohhhhhh an’ I would walk 500 miles an’ I would walk 500 hunner mair jus’ tae be. the. man. watin’ at yer doooooooooor!” 

Kyle feels his left eye twitch in response to Soap’s godawful crooning. It’s been hours of the same fucking line sung over and over with different inflections and Kyle is seriously contemplating finding Soap’s overwatch position and beating him into a bloody pulp if he has to be subjected to the Proclaimers for even another second. Op be fucking damned. 

“Johnny.” Ghost snaps down the comms, and Kyle feels his shoulders drop in relief. 

Finally.

“Those aren’t the words.”

Kyle grimaces.

Here we fucking go.

“What’re ye on about Lt., of course those are the words!” Soap sounds delighted that he finally got a response out of the stoic Manc, which, in Kyle’s opinion, is the completely incorrect response to have. 

“No.”

“How no?” Soap shoots back, not deterred by Ghost’s blunt reply. 

“English Mactavish.” Christ, Ghost sounds downright fond of the prick. Kyle fights back the urge to make a disgusted retching noise in response. 

“Sorry, sir.” A pause, then “g’wan then. Give us a tune.” 

“Not a chance, sergeant.” 

If it wouldn’t give away his position, Kyle would beat himself into unconsciousness. Listening to Soap butcher “I’m Gonna Be” is less painful than having to witness the way he flirts like a teenager with Ghost. 

There’s another brief silence before Soap starts humming again. 

Fucking hell. __

(Bonus scene I just couldn't scrap, even though it doesn't quite fit)

“Gentlemen. I expect you know why you’re here.” Kate’s voice is smooth and controlled, not a hint of emotion bleeding through. Her body language gives away just as much as her voice, that is to say, absolutely nothing. Beside her Price is the picture of barely tempered fury. In any other circumstances Kyle would quietly marvel at the way she holds court in the small conference room, would probably shoot her a friendly grin to reassert himself as her favourite troublemaker.

As it stands (at parade rest no less, wedged between the ever fidgeting Scottish menace on his right and the breadth of his Lieutenant on his other side), Kyle doesn’t dare to even move his eyes from the point he’s chosen on the wall behind Station Chief Laswell and Captain Price. 

The silence stretches on and Kyle notices the faint tink tink tink of the ancient steel radiator as it blasts wave after wave of scorching heat into the room before his ears catch the sound of slightly off-key humming coming from his left. 

There’s a brief moment of near silence before Soap��s composure crumbles, clutching at his stomach as he bursts into only slightly hysterical sounding giggles. 

In his periphery Kyle watches a vein throb on Price’s forehead.  Oh, they are all completely and utterly fucked.

#pfh answers #pfh prompts #friend tag #it's not my best but i needed to get the worms out #legend says that price actually shouted himself hoarse that day and was rendered voiceless for a solid week #kg #jm #sr #jp #kl

[pfhwrittes]

hello hello, i know it's wip wednesday. i was planning on sharing snippets with you all but in all honesty i'm not ready to show my fics yet.

so instead of sharing, i'm offering to write out some little drabbles if you want to send me a prompt in my askbox just so i can get the worms to wiggle over stuff.

boundaries are under the cut!

i won't write stuff for könig, feet worship, scat, vore, vomit, feeder/feedee, kidfics / pregnancy, forced feminisation, detransitioning, incest/pseudo-incest, paedophilia / underage (all my reader characters are of age and usually headcannoned to be 21+), necrophilia, bestiality, ageplay / age regression.

if you're not sure how i feel about a prompt, send it in and i'll let you know!

#pfh personal #wip wednesday #aaaand a newish tag for you all #pfh prompts #<- you can add that tag to your blocklist if you need to

[pfhwrittes]

Hey P! It's me, Charlie (of SentientCave fame). I would love to see a little Retail hell AU (I've got the B&Q blues because it's been so long since I've seen our favourite boys in orange). Pick your poison:

The lads get their hands on the store playlist. What do they want to listen to?

Does Dear Reader ever bump into the lads outside of work?

Thanks P! Love you xoxo

charlie of @sentientcave fame! hiya friend! excuse me while i send you hearts for a sec because i am in LOVE with your writing. that instalment of retirement party? sheeeeesh! also my eternal love goes to ripper from rugby au as always.

ooooh retail hell au, i've missed these guys too! charlie, as you've given me the choice of two prompts i'm going to pick the first one to answer (and pop your other prompt in my brain soup document because i think it would be very funny to have our resident B&Q babe (the reader) run into the lads from store 141 while she's out and about at various points).

so for your first prompt i'll need to give you a bit of B&Q lore to start with.

when i worked there, B&Q were too fucking tight to pay for a licence to play live or recorded music in their stores (this might've changed in recent years but i doubt it) so they'd use a particular CD sent from the head office with "licence free" music and adverts to play over the tannoy system. the licence free music was basically some band that sounded nearly like the artist they were covering singing nearly the correct lyrics.

as a music lover, it was painful. as a retail gremlin, nothing would give me more joy than breaking into song and shimmying at my coworkers to the horror of management. i got written up for it once because a customer complained. fun sponge.

anyway, that CD had to be played during store opening times at all times, no exceptions. however, outside of those times the duty manager would take over the tannoy system. if you got a good manager they'd play their playlist, if you got a shit manager you'd be left wandering the store in silence. if you got a really shit manager, you'd be subjected to the dreaded CD for however long you were there for. ugh.

sorry that got longwinded.

to answer your prompt: the only people that would get away with changing the store playlist would be price or simon as neither johnny, kyle or our resident B&Q babe have duty manager privileges (boo!). i mean technically simon doesn't have duty manager privileges officially but he's usually the first one in with price on a morning or running the night shift by himself so fuck it, acting duty manager privileges count.

as for what they'd play? i don't have a clue but i suspect they both share a fondness for rammstein, slipknot and oddly enough gerry cinnamon.

#retail hell au #pfh prompts #sorry to let you down charlie i know this doesn't technically answer either of your prompts BUT i am going to use your second prompt #so keep your eyes peeled for that one at some point! #jp #sr