#pls ignore the weird shiny i was trying stuff out

[saik0m0che]

Ofc the first art I post are my beloveds 🥺 even though I made this over a month ago 🥺

Bonus :

#skmarts #pls ignore the weird shiny i was trying stuff out #jantom #svtfoe

[bucketslutz]

Get Out the Way

Chapter 2: You're a bounty hunter, start acting like it

Summary: You were successful as a bounty hunter for a while, and now as a skilled fighter working in an arena. You were craving excitement, until a Mandalorian crosses your path and offers you the opportunity to help bring his kid back and avenge the death of someone you lost long ago. Working with the bucket-head, though, isn't going as smoothly as you thought. Will it all be worth it in the end?

You can read Get Out the Way on AO3 here.

Warnings: 18+ only pls, violence, gore, language, bounty hunting, enemies to lovers sorta, slow burn af, banter, grogu in danger, AFAB reader, badass female reader, yes reader is a bounty hunter, smut eventually but for now they hate each other

Chapter Summary: Mando and Reader continue on their journey to obtain the child.

This had to have been the worst fucking idea you’ve ever had in your life, and you’ve done some pretty dumb shit. Metal head went out of his way to ask for your help, and won’t even let you do anything. Flight check? No, you’re “not the co-pilot.” Hyperspace coordinates? Nope, “I didn’t hire you to punch in numbers.” Recalibrate the distributors? “I don’t need your help.” Well, for someone who was very eager to get your help on this mission, he really hates letting you help with virtually anything. You feel useless. You’ve scrubbed your blasters at least four times since entering hyperspace. You don’t think they were even this shiny when you bought them. No amount of credits in the republic could be worth this. Maker, you’ve not even left hyperspace and you’re already wanting to wring out his neck. He’s always so unnervingly quiet. You can never tell what he’s thinking or when he’s looking at you. You know he’s there and that he must think and feel like you do, but he might as well be a moving statue.

“Dank farrik,” you curse to yourself after you accidentally nick your finger on a jagged edge of your blaster. You exhale, trying to keep yourself collected, and get up off of one of the crates you were sitting on in the hull of the ship. Crossing to the other side of the hull, you open the compartment that holds the first aid kit so you can address your wound. As you dig through the kit for the bandages, you try to ignore the sound of boots descending the ladder. The footsteps grow louder and it takes everything in you to not tell Mando to go fuck off somewhere else and stop micromanaging everything you do. That’s another thing, ever since you stepped foot on this ship, he double or triple checks everything you do. He checked the shipyards at least five times to make sure you brought all the camtonos inside the crest. It’s been driving you up a wall. He gave you the impression that he had complete faith in you and your abilities, but won’t let you do anything without him checking up on you.

“What are you doing?” he asks, simply. There’s no anger in his voice, he’s not accusing you or anything. He seems to be asking out of pure curiosity.

“Nothing. It’s not important,” you dismiss him with a wave of your hand as you’re still digging through the first aid kit for just one bandage to wrap your finger in. “Where the fuck is it?” you hiss under your breath. Mando is still standing by you, and it’s kind of weirding you out. What does he want? Is he laughing at you? Does he find your current state pitiful; bloody hand, frustrated tone, and desperate searching? You can’t understand a single fucking thing about him with that stupid helmet on and it kills you. You finally slam your hand on the edge of the first aid kit and glare up at the helmet that’s been fixed on you for the past two minutes. “May I help you with something?” Your tone is sharp enough to pierce the beskar.

“It looks like you need my help more than I need yours.” Maker, is that why he’s hovering? Why didn’t he just fucking say that in the first place! He makes everything so unnecessarily difficult for no reason. Why can’t he make up his mind on whether he wants you to not do anything or help you with everything? Before you can reply snarkily to his answer, he reaches above your head and into the compartment that held the first aid kit. He digs through it for a moment, then pulls out a box full of bandages. You can’t see his face, but you’re sure he’s smiling smugly underneath his helmet. You wish you could wipe that smile off of his face with the cold, metal floor of the ship. He takes a few steps backwards before turning towards the ladder leading to the cockpit.

“We should be dropping out of hyperspace in about two days, I suggest you get some sleep while you can,” Mando turns to you to say before climbing up the ladder and disappearing above you. Sighing in defeat, you close the first aid kit shut and stuff it back into the compartment above your head, the box of bandages following shortly. He makes you feel so damn stupid. You’re capable, and he is fully aware of that fact. But he has absolutely no faith in  you. Why would he hire you if he didn’t trust you? Have I even given him a reason to trust me? You think to yourself. Dank Farrik. You used to work for Wraak. You used to work for the man who just kidnapped his kid. He must think you still have some weird devotion to him. But can you blame him? All of Wraak’s minions have an obscene devotion to him that’s cult-like. But you don’t, especially after what he did. You want to see him suffer. But you’re not so sure that shiny knows that. Why would he trust you? You haven’t done anything to prove that you deserve his respect. What are you supposed to do? Kiss his ass and tell him how great he is? You won’t stoop that low for any man. No, not until he starts treating you like an equal. But you don’t think you both will get anything done if you don’t learn to trust each other, and you’re not so sure how you can fix that. You’re beginning to feel like shouldn’t have gone on this mission. Maybe you should just take up Mando’s advice and get some rest.

…

The sound of boots descending a ladder wakes you and you groan. Realizing the position that you settled in left a dull ache in your lower back, you arch your spine hearing it crack under the pressure. The pain in your lower back immediately puts you in a sour mood. Maker, with that armor it’d be a miracle if he could infiltrate Wraak’s base without alerting all of his men and the rest of the galaxy. He must’ve realized that he woke you up because he’s standing at the bottom of the ladder waiting to see if you’ll say something to him. Or at least you think that’s why he’s standing there. Anything’s possible when that helmet is on. He crosses to the other side of the hull where his cot is concealed.

“Oh, are you going to bed? Fantastic. Good for you, bucket-head. At least one of us can get some sleep around here,” you snide sarcastically. You stand up from your place on the floor and brush past Mando and up the ladder leading to the cockpit. As you climb, you hear the door leading to the cot slide open then promptly closed. You shut yourself in the cockpit, lit only by the control panel and the blue ambiance of hyperspace, and curse as you kick the side of the pilots chair in frustration. Maybe you’re just cranky from the lack of sleep, maybe you’re tired of Mando being the elusive womp-rat that he is. But you’re really feeling like a complete and utter idiot for taking this job. What made you think you could work alongside someone like him? Or work with anyone, for that matter. In all your years of bounty hunting, you never worked with someone else to obtain a bounty. You know what you’re doing, you don’t need some pompous asshole telling you where to go and what to do. You wouldn’t have made it so far in the guild if you weren’t capable. You probably could’ve killed Wraak without Mando’s help. Who gives a shit if he thinks you’re a skilled hunter? As flattering as it may be that a Mandalorian is impressed by your skills, you’re still stronger on your own. If you didn’t have to sell your ship, you could’ve made it to Wraak’s base faster than this garbage dump he considers a gunship. Glancing at the array of controls in front of you, something catches your eye, or rather the lack of something catches your eye. The knob that controls the auxiliary thrusters is missing. Finding it odd that someone as thorough as Mando could misplace something like that, you decide that instead of moping around you could go find it instead. A distraction would do you good, hell, maybe he might finally think you’re useful. You check the seat of the pilot’s chair for the knob along with the passenger seats, but they all were empty. You scanned the floor quickly, still not seeing any sign of it. You turn towards the control panel then take a few steps back so you’re able to get a wider view of the cockpit. Your eyes scanned the small space from corner to corner, the ship humming as it traversed through hyperspace, finally, your eye caught something laying underneath the control panel. You get down on your hands and knees and crawl underneath the panel. Reaching for the silver orb, you grin once you grab it. But like the idiot you are, you forget that you’re crouching for a reason, and attempt to stand up quickly. You’re reminded of your position in the cockpit when your head meets the edge of the control panel with a loud thud, forcing your chin into your chest awkwardly.

“ OW!” you shout in pain. “FUCK!” You can hear your voice carry through the tiny space you’ve been occupying, and you lean back till your ass hits the floor. You wince as you nurse the growing bump on the back of your head. You were too preoccupied with your new head injury, that you didn’t hear the approaching footsteps up the ladder and the door to the cockpit hiss open.

“What did you do?” Mando’s modulated voice calls when he enters.

“Oh I made cookies, you want some?” you replied feigning a perky disposition, you crane your neck behind you to look up at the armored man. The helmet tilts in a way that can only mean “Really? Are you kidding me?” and you continue, “I hit my head, what does it look like, smartass.”

He extends a hand to help you up, and you wave him off and use the pilots chair as leverage to stand up instead; you remain nursing the back of your head with the hand that’s still holding that stupid silver ball. You huff in vexation once you get back on your feet and glare up at Mando’s stupidly covered face. Even if I could see your face, it would still be a stupid face, you think to yourself. You reach over to the lever to put the knob back where it belonged when Mando suddenly and harshly grabs your wrist. He stares at your hand for a moment as he holds your wrist in a death grip. You wince at the offending pressure and try to jerk away from his hold on you.

“Don’t touch my ship,” he barks, then he rips the small orb from your hand and tucks it somewhere in his utility belt. That’s the most emotion you’ve gotten from him since you met him, and it’s over a stupid silver ball? You gape at him, angrily, and he turns to leave the cockpit but you stop him. “What the hell is wrong with you? You went out of your fucking way to hire me for this mission, you haven’t let me do anything to help you at all, and now you’re mad at me for a stupid little knob? Why can’t you just trust me?”

“I do trust you,” he replies, turning around to face you, and suddenly more composed than you are.

“That’s a load of Bantha shit,” you snap, crossing your arms over your chest. He suddenly crosses to you in only two strides and the helmet stares down at you. From this angle, your height difference is even more palpable.

“I hired you to help me get my kid back and kill Wraak,” he finally asserts, his finger poking the top of your sternum and his helmet only a few inches from your face. “That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. You’re not a co-pilot, you’re not an engineer, you’re a bounty hunter. Start acting like it.” His tone pierced your skull and replaced the sharp pain nestled in the back of your head. Storming off in a cloud of anger and frustration he turns and exits the cockpit, smacking the controls to the door and you watch as it hisses shut. He stomps down the ladder and you feel like punching yourself in the face. I’m an idiot. Of course, he hired you for your skills. He doesn’t need a fucking co-pilot or an engineer. He needs another bounty hunter. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You don’t know why, but him expressing disappointment in you stings. In thinking he had no faith in you, you realized that in actuality you had no faith in him. I should apologize to him. Yelling at him got me no where. If you’re going to work with him you need to start tolerating each other. Mando is a blunt person. Whatever he says, is exactly what he means. There’s no guessing with him, and you’re not used to that. There’s always an ulterior motive with other people; a hidden clause you didn’t sign up for. But for someone as secretive as he is, he somehow manages to be completely honest with his words. And you’re an idiot for thinking he meant anything other than exactly what he said. You should apologize.

…

 It’s been two days and you haven’t apologized. You haven’t even said a word to each other since the argument in the cockpit. You hope he doesn’t think you’re cowardice for not apologizing yet; you’re not even sure if he expects an apology. If he’s anything, he’s a man of few words, so maybe if you don’t say anything to him everything will be fine. Right? That’s going to be the plan, you’re going to ignore him unless it’s life or death. It’s not like you’ll need to be having any in-depth conversations about anything. This is strictly a business endeavor, nothing more, nothing less. You’re pulled from your thoughts when Mando approaches you and sits on a crate across from you in the hull. He pulls what looks like a bounty puck from his pocket and flicks it on. The face projected is familiar, it takes you a few moments to process who exactly it is. Once it clicks, you look up at him in confusion; your brow furrowed and you silently shrug a “what about it?” in response.

“This is who we’re going to be seeing on Numidian Prime. You know him?” Mando asks as he sets the puck down on a crate that’s nestled in front of you both.

“Well, of course. That’s Brehan, he was Wraak’s right hand man for years. Last I heard he retired and settled in the Mid Rim,” you responded. You were curious as to where Mando was going with this. If there was a bounty on Brehan, you would’ve known about it and took care of it. “But I don’t know if I can recall there being a bounty on his head.”

“There’s not,” he states simply. You tilt your head and raise your brows in surprise.

“Oh?” You lean forward in an attempt to urge him on to elaborate.

“I had Karga program a fake puck. We’re taking this to Numidian Prime and you’re going to show this to him. We want Brehan to think there’s a bounty on his head.”

“Why would we want him to think there’s a bounty on his head?” you ask, your forearms now resting on the tops of your thighs as you lean forward, still not understanding where Mando is going with this.

“He’ll want to get out of it by offering whatever he can. Spice, weapons, credits, but we’re not after his horde. We’re after his security clearances to Wraak’s base,” he iterates. And it all makes sense. Brehan retired about a month ago, and knowing Wraak, he wouldn’t have all new security protocols by now. You hated to admit it, but bucket-head’s plan didn’t sound too bad.

“That’s actually a really solid plan,” you say. Mando nods his head knowingly and leans back against the metal wall of the hull.

“There’s just one problem,” you continue. His helmet tilts towards you and he crosses his arms over his armored chest. “Brehan is still staunchly loyal to Wraak. If we show up asking for his security clearances, he’ll warn Wraak of our arrival then we’ll lose our only advantage on him. Wraak has numbers, we have the element of surprise. We could lose that by approaching Brehan.”

Mando leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. His gloved hands lace together and you can only assume he’s deep in thought. You’re sure if you listened carefully enough, you could hear the gears in his head turning.

“Okay, I know what to do,” he says after a few pensive moments. He leans closer to you and explains the plan in further detail. You listen intently, digesting all the information. As annoying as he may be, he’s good at what he does. You both spent the rest of the trip in hyperspace detailing your course of action and all possible outcomes. There’s going to be a massive risk with this mission, but you’ve both surveyed all your options, and this is most likely your best one. The flashing of red lights and the sudden sound of rapid beeping brings you both back and Mando makes his way to the cockpit as the ship drops out of hyperspace. While he’s up there, you take the time to inventory all of your gear and make sure you have everything you could possibly need. You have extra power cells for your blasters for security, the mechanism of your shockwhips are in tact, your vibro daggers are stashed in your belt and various other hiding places. You feel secure that you’re well equipped for whatever is thrown at you and shiny. Deciding to join Mando in the cockpit, you put on the rest of your gear. You slip your hands into your maroon leather gloves, then shrug on your black trenchcoat before putting on your black, flat rim gambler hat on your head. It feels good to be back in your old getup again. You climb up the ladder and palm the controls watching as the doors part open with a mechanical hiss and you can see Numidian Prime through the transparisteel. The lush green planet was exactly where you’d expect Brehan to go; full of gambling, spice, and the seediest company in the galaxy. Brehan was cold blooded. He hated icy atmospheres and warm personalities. He needed to retire someplace full of soulless reptiles who wanted to hide from the same authorities he’s been hiding from. And what better place for a soulless reptile to thrive than the jungles of Numidian Prime? 

“I’m prepping the landing array,” Mando says, flicking various switches on and pressing buttons above his head. “I’m gonna try and land on the outskirts so we can avoid alerting Brehan of our arrival. Strap in.” 

You nod in understanding and take a seat to his right, watching as the ship enters the foggy atmosphere of the planet. The swamp trees stretched as far as the eye could see, nothing but green for miles and miles. The thick trees tangled with vines shifted as the ship approached a small clearing and you saw birds swarm above the branches from the sudden movement caused by the crest. Mando sets the ship down carefully between two massive swamp trees. The engines hum as they power down and you can hear the crest hiss and whirr as it settles. You follow Mando out of the cockpit and to the hull of the ship and wait with him as he grabs his gear, which doesn’t take long cause he is seemingly always prepared for action. Once he grabs his rifle, he presses a button and the side of the hull folds open. You step down with him and stare up at the lush greenery above your head. The various species of birds whistle and call throughout the jungle and you and Mando begin the trek to the compound Brehan is hiding at. You’re not sure why, but you feel awkward. Mando seems completely comfortable in silence, avoiding the winding roots at his feet and brushing imposing vines out of his way. But you feel strange in the silence, even though you vowed that you wouldn’t speak to him again unless it was completely necessary. Yet you have this strange urge to spark conversation, but you don’t peg Shiny as the kind to engage in small talk. So you remain on his tail in silence. As you both walk through the swampy jungle of Numidian Prime, you begin to pay attention to the cacophony of insects chirping and birds cawing as your boots squish into the soft soil with each step. It’s meditative out here, humid as all hell, but it’s beautiful. You could see yourself settling somewhere lush like this place. If you ever settle. You’re restless by nature. Always craving action and feeling incomplete without it. As much as you love punching idiots in Gundi’s arena, it doesn’t compare to hunting down bounties all over the galaxy. A stray tree root catches your foot and you’re snapped from your thoughts when you stumble into Mando. He loses his footing on the root he was stepping on and falls helmet first into the ground. You managed to find your footing before you had the chance to be taken down with him, and you can’t help but laugh at him. You clasp your hand over your mouth, not intending to make fun of him and hoping he didn’t notice. He pushes up off of the ground, his helmet now sporting a layer of mud over the front, and settles onto his knees as he attempts to wipe off the mud that’s obstructing his view with his forearm. You pray he doesn’t notice how hard you’re trying to hold in your laughter. He’s so stoic and unmoving, that seeing anyone as secure as he is tumbling down into a pile of mud makes you feel so much better about yourself.

“Quit laughing,” he barks, finally getting up on his feet and turning around to continue on his path to the compound. Was Mando...pouting? No way, not the Mandalorian. He was embarrassed. You know he was. And it’s absolutely hilarious to see him storm off like a child.

“Aww, is the big bad Mandalorian upset?” you tease, trying your best to hold in your giggles. You hear him sigh under his helmet and he balls his fists in frustration. You wish you could see his face and how angry he is right now.

 “Is Mando upset he got his armor dirty? Hm?” you coo mockingly.

“Enough,” he says sternly, his fists balled tightly at his sides. You should stop. Putting him in a bad mood won’t get either of you anywhere, but stars, is it fun.

“Blast, you know what would make this better?” you wait for his response, but he remains silent, steadily walking ahead of you. “If your kid were here to see how you look right--” but before you can finish your next taunt, Mando stops dead in his tracks swiftly drawing his vibro dagger from his utility belt. Reversing his grip, he grabs your shoulder and presses you up against the nearest tree; his dagger just inches from your throat.

“Was that supposed to be funny?” he asks, his tone bitter. His forearm pressed firmly against your sternum and his other arm held on tightly to his vibro dagger. You’re trying your best not to seem absolutely fucking terrified. Your hat has practically been pushed off of your head, the only thing holding it up being the resisting pressure of the tree against your back. You swallow hard, your gaze switching between the dagger and his helmet. Maybe if you don’t say anything at all he won’t be as mad. Silence is better. Karabast, you shouldn’t have said anything. He must have a sore spot with this kid.

“Do I have to repeat myself?” he tests, breaking the tense silence. You can’t see his face, but there’s no guessing that he’s staring into your soul right now. You can feel his eyes burning into you and it makes you shift uncomfortably under his hold.

“N-no,” you finally admit. “No. I’m--” you sigh “--I’m sorry.”

And with that he releases you, sheathing his blade back into his utility belt. He turns away from you and continues on his path as if he didn’t just hold a knife to your throat just moments ago. You’ve learned your lesson: do not joke about Mando’s kid ever again. Never, ever again. He just might kill you over it. You decide to focus instead on the path ahead, never daring to avert your gaze from the sprawling roots at your feet. Yes, this was better. You don’t have to deal with the disappointment that is yourself. You’d think that someone like him could handle that kind of taunting; it was childish and incendiary. He’s above that kind of behavior and you were just attempting to be annoying. You didn’t think your words would’ve actually snuck its way under that beskar. He’s experienced worse people, has probably heard worse things than what you said. So why did he get so frustrated so fast? That kid must mean more to him than you initially thought. You stop when you see him raise his fist in your peripheral, signalling you to halt. You look up at him and can see his helmet raise up towards the sky to assess the rocky cliff that you’ve both come up upon.

“The compound is just up there,” he says. “We could probably drop down on them from above if we get up on one of these trees.” As soon as he says that the gears in your head start turning. Assessing your options, you remember you brought your ascension gun with you. Reaching for the holster around your thigh, you unclasp it and draw out your gun.

“I could get us both up there with my jet pack--” he pauses once he hears you fire your ascension gun, aiming it at the thickest branch of the tree to your right, it wraps around it and grapples the bark. “Hey! What are you doing?”

“Meet ya there, Shiny,” you say as you ascend the tree with a mechanical whirr. You make it to the branch and detach your gun, tucking it back in your holster. When you have a steady footing, you look down at Mando who is shaking his head with his hands on his hips. He presses a button on his gauntlet, igniting his jet pack, and flies up to the branch. He lands in front of you with ease and shakes his head.

“What? You were taking too long,” you say. “Now, what’s the plan?” Mando sighs and turns towards the end of the branch, he crouches so he can keep his footing and peeks out past the foliage to get a look at the compound on the cliff. He waves at you to join him and you crouch down to climb up towards him. Once you’re by his side, he peels back some of the foliage so you can get a better look at the top of the cliff. There are about three freighters and two gunships that are landed there. There was only one you recognized. The YV-865. You used to pilot those all the time when you worked for Wraak. That ship had to be Brehan’s. Mando lifts his finger and points to a moss-covered cavern that had four armed Weequays guarding it.

“Brehan’s in there,” Mando says. “We have to quietly take out those Weequays before we can get in. No blasters. If one goes off, it’ll echo throughout that cave and Brehan will know something’s wrong.” You nod your head and grin. It’ll be the perfect opportunity for you to use your shockwhips.

“Sounds easy enough. I’ll take the ones on the right,” you tell him before you leap to the nearest branch. You stay low once you land, and utilize that same technique as you leap from branch to branch. Eventually, you make it to a vantage point above the two Weequay’s you targeted. You look over and see that Mando made it to a branch about 15 feet away, parallel to you. He makes a gesture to the side of his helmet, indicating to his communicator. You press a button on your wrist, turning your com link on, and look at him expectantly.

“We’ll drop down on my signal, okay?” you hear him say through the com. You nod your head and do as he says. You watch him and wait for his signal. You adjust one of your gloves, but accidentally press a button on your com link, unknowingly turning it off. You move your gloved hand to one of your whips and take a peek at the guards below you who remain at their positions unalarmed. The second your eyes move back up to look across at Mando, he drops down between the two Weequays he’s targeting.

“Shit,” you say, grabbing one of your shockwhips and dropping down about 30 seconds after Mando does. You can hear Mando grunting as he lands blows on the guards. You bend your knees as you land and kick one of the blasters out of the nearest Weequay’s hands. It lands about 4 feet away from you both. You look back up and the other armed guard glances at it before aiming his blaster at you. Anticipating this, you flick your whip and it wraps around his wrist; his blaster drops as his whole body tenses and yellow volts of electricity crawl around his body. He then tumbles onto the ground unconscious. You look back at the blaster that you kicked out of the other Weequay’s hands and you see him bending down to grab it. You swing your whip at his throat and yank hard. His hands fly to his windpipe trying to relieve the offending pressure as he coughs and gasps, you shock him and he tenses before crumbling to the ground with a groan. You look over at Mando who is still fighting off the two guards. One, situated behind him, has his forearm around Mando’s throat, the other was landing blows to his stomach just underneath the beskar chestplate. You swing your weapon, aiming for the Weequay behind shiny. But your hand slips and your weapon wraps around Mando’s arm instead. You instinctively yank before you had the chance to process where your whip even landed and he falls to the ground. The guards now alarmed by your presence, both reach for their respective blasters. Mando is up on his feet now and aims his gauntlet at one of the guards engaging his whipcord. But you’re doing the same, attempting to incapacitate the guard before they can obtain their blasters. You both aim for the same Weequay and your weapons both reach their target; his whipcord wrapped around the guard’s torso and arms, and your shockwhip around his ankle. By the time you both realize you’ve incapacitated the same Weequay, it’s already too late. The other one has already aimed his blaster and fired. Mando’s pauldron sparked as the bolt met the beskar with a clink. You reel your whip back and it meets the guard’s chest, the shock knocking him out. The dull echo of the blaster shot rings through the cavern and you both look at each other. You’re fucked.

“Get to the ship, I’ll hold them off,” you tell Mando. His chest heaves as the helmet nods and he presses a button on his gauntlet, activating the jet pack, and zips off towards the sky. I can do this, I can do this. I’ll just talk a lot to try and buy Shiny some more time, you attempt to assure yourself. Securing your whips back in your utility belt, you draw your blaster and aim it at the cavern in anticipation. On the bright side, they’re going to come out and see one bounty hunter and four incapacitated Weequays, so they’re going to be under the impression you did this all yourself. Hopefully they’ll feel intimidated without the foreboding presence of a Mandalorian by your side. You begin to hear commotion from inside the cavern; feet shuffling, a cacophony of voices. Soon you see a few humans, more Weequays, some rodians, and none other than Brehan himself emerge from the cavern. All of the men around him were heavily armed, but Brehan appeared to be unarmed. He looked relatively the same since you last saw him, a grey goatee against his olive skin and slicked back grey hair. The only difference was that he looked slightly heavier, he must’ve been focusing less on keeping in shape for Wraak and more on enjoying the amenities life has to offer. His eyes squint and focus on you, they widen once he finally recognized you. A laugh erupts from his wide grin and his hands fly to his slightly protruding belly, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes becoming more defined. 

“Well, I’ll be damned,” he chuckles, his hands shifting to his hips. “I was wondering who was ballsy enough to interrupt my game of sabbac. It sure has been a while, hasn’t it? You still in the guild?”

“You tell me,” you say as you pull the bounty puck from your pocket and flick it on with your thumb. Brehan’s face fell once he recognized what you were holding.

“Now, I’m sure there’s been a misunderstanding. I’m retired. I stopped working for Wraak long ago. Surely we can work something out, hm?” he pleads, subtly. You grin, Mando’s plan just might work.

“Give me the clearances to Wraak’s base and I’ll consider letting you live,” you offer, tucking the puck back into your belt.

“That is just something that I’m not able to do, little lady,” Brehan replied. “Perhaps you would like some spice? Or credits?”

You’re quiet. You simply just want to draw this out as long as possible so Mando has enough time to get back to the ship. So you decide to wait until Brehan continues the negotiations.

“C’mon now, we don’t want this to get ugly. There’s one of you and fifteen of us.”

“I like those odds,” you boasted. Your blaster was still aimed towards the cavern, with no indication that it was going to drop anytime soon. You were at a standoff. They all had their blasters fixed at you, and vice versa. You were waiting for them to make the next move, and they were waiting for you to pull the trigger. Dank farrik, Shiny, if you don’t get here… . Your eyes switch back over to Brehan, and the second they do, he moves; breaking into a sprint towards his ship, you aim your blaster at the nearest guard and fire. A rodian grunts as he hits the ground and you make a break for it to find some cover as blaster fire rains down on you. You duck behind some of the crates and peek out over the top of it. You aim for one of the humans and fire at his chest. He cries as he hits the ground. You scan the area for Brehan, and you see the ramp to his ship descend as he begins to approach it. 

“Karabast!” you curse. You aim your blaster in his direction and fire four times, but miss all of your shots. There’s too much blaster fire hitting your direction to get better aim. You lose hope. He’s gonna escape and it’s gonna be your fault. You didn’t hear Mando’s signal, you didn’t drop down in time, you aimed for the wrong Weequay. It’s your fault. It’s all your fault if this mission fails. You won’t get Mando’s son back. You won’t get to avenge her death. You’re going to lose it all. The sound of a mechanic hum from above pulls you from your pity party, and you sigh in relief at the sight of the biggest hunk of junk in the galaxy. Mando made it here with the Razor Crest. He fires, and the bolts from the Crest meet Brehan’s ship, incinerating it on the spot. The blast knocks Brehan back along with some of the guards. Smiling at the intense blaze that's replaced Brehan's ship, you seize the opportunity of this distraction and begin picking off the guards one by one. On your feet now, you make your way around the crates you’ve been crouching behind and aim for the guards. You fire a barrage of shots as you walk sideways towards the end of the shipyard Mando has landed the Razor Crest at. They're still hardly noticed you started firing at them again through all the commotion. The ramp to the Crest descends and Mando wastes no time stepping out and coming to your aid. 

“Took you long enough,” you goad as you dodge blaster fire.

“Really? You’re complaining?” he fumes, blaster bolts clinking as they bounce off his armor and he grunts slightly with each impact.

Before you know it, you both took down all the guards and all that’s left is Brehan who is scrambling to his feet and searching for the nearest escape. The two of you make haste in his direction. By the time you both get to him, he managed to steal a vibro dagger from one of the bodies on the ground and he’s aiming it at the two of you.

“Drop your weapon. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way,” Mando’s modulated voice commands. But Brehan doesn’t crack, his blade remains in his grip. “Drop it.”

This time Brehan listens, the blade hits the soil with a soft thud. As Mando reaches with his free hand to his belt for his binders, Brehan reels back his fist and it collides with the underside of your jaw. You moan in pain as you stumble backwards cradling your face. The pain crawled to your teeth, leaving your mouth tender and sore. Mando knees him in the gut and Brehan doubles over in pain, coughing and groaning. Shiny grabs the sides of Brehan’s head with his gloved hands and headbutts him with the crown of his beskar helmet. You hear a crack and you're sure his nose was broken from the impact; a steady flow of crimson blood begins to flow out of Brehan’s nostrils. Mando restrains him with the binders and leads him harshly to the Razor Crest by the collar. You follow them, still cradling your jaw. Mando throws Brehan into the hull of the Crest and he lands on the floor, a bloody mess.

“Please, don’t kill me. I’ll-I’ll give you whatever you want,” Brehan grovels through bloodstained teeth pitifully from the floor.

You kneel to Brehans level, attempting to appear sympathetic, “Your security clearances are all we want. If you give us that, we’ll let you go.”

Mando’s head swivels in your direction and he says your name, “We didn’t agree to that.” His voice was hushed through the modulator.

You raise your hand, indicating he should be quiet.

“Sound good?” you ask Brehan, extending your hand so you could help him up. His cuffed hands extend up to yours and you take it, your thighs tensing as you lift his weight off of the ground. 

“Give the clearances to Mando then he’ll uncuff you,” you explain to Brehan, to which he nods simply in response. You can tell Shiny has no clue what you’re doing, and he must think you’re an idiot. But you’ve been around Brehan’s kind, you have to let him think he has the upper hand. The cuffs chime as Mando frees Brehan’s wrists from the metal binders. Massaging his wrists, Brehan gives you and the Mandalorian one last incredulous look before beginning his path towards the ramp of the ship. His feet almost meet the ground outside the ship when suddenly your shockwhip wraps around his ankle and you yank him back inside the hull harshly. His chin hits the ground and he’s dragged back inside on his stomach. Once he’s at your feet, you yank him up to your level by his collar and shove him into the carbonite chamber; the back of his skull meets the inside of the chamber with a clunk. Before Brehan can process exactly what’s happening, you smack the controls and an icy steam blankets him. All that’s left of Brehan is a pained expression seemingly etched into stone.

Mando’s helmet is fixed on you; your chest is heaving and your jaw hurts and you’re too pumped with adrenaline to check for any other injuries right now. You almost cost Mando this mission, you can’t even bother to look at him right now. You just want to sleep and forget the events of today. But once you turn away from the carbonite chamber, all you’re met with is Mando’s figure who’s blocking your point of escape.

“You didn’t go on my signal," he snaps, his gruff voice sounding disgruntled. "We could’ve had them completely by surprise if you just dropped down at the same time I did.”

“You think I don’t know that?” you ask accusatorially. “Do you think I was trying to fuck up the mission?”

“I didn’t say that--” Mando defends, his gloved hands raising in a defensive position, but you continue with your argument as if he didn’t just respond to your rhetoric question.

“I did what I could considering the circumstances. We still got the security clearances from Brehan, so I didn’t fail you,” you assure, more-so for yourself than for Mando. You were resourceful back there. And the mission was still successful, despite your fuckup. It could’ve gone so much worse, but you pulled through. And so did Mando, I guess. You both don’t work together very well, but hopefully by the time you get to Wraak’s base on Sriluur, you and Mando will finally tolerate each other enough to work together. The ramp to the Crest closes and you settle down on one of the crates in the hull and begin checking yourself for injuries.

“How’s your jaw?” Mando inquires.

“Shut up,” you snap, not even bothering to look up at Shiny as you address a few scrapes and bruises that cover your body. Dank farrik, this is going to be one long ride.

#the mandalorian #din djarin #mandalorian fanfic #mandalorian fic #star wars #star wars fic #bucketslutz fanfic #get out the way #afab reader #reader insert #din djarin x female reader #bounty hunter star wars #grogu #baby yoda #mandalorian #din djarin needs a hug #enemies to friends to lovers #18+ star wars fic #star wars fanfiction #the mandalorian fic #din djarin fanfiction #reader insert star wars #badass female reader

[ecto-american]

Community

DannyMay 2019 themed story, I’m not late I’m just going my own pace pls be nice to me

Ectoplasm | Broken | Glass | Theory | Or Read on AO3.

Day 22: Community

It was still an absolute mystery why anybody would want to skin Phantom. And it was all Jack could think of while scrubbing the carpet.

He made a giant mix of a laundry detergent and salt like paste to get the ectoplasm out, mixing in some water and non bleach cleaner to try and get the job done. The kitchen would be easier to clean up. He could have Jazz and Danny clean it up when they both got there, while he and Maddie tended to Phantom. For now, he wanted to get the first bit of ectoplasm out of the carpet.

Jack cracked his back as he looked at the stairs he had spent the past hour scrubbing. He could still see the faint traces of where ectoplasm was. It wasn't a perfect clean up, and he mentally calculated the cost of just ripping up the carpet and replacing it. It almost seemed easier than all of this effort. That may be nice. The carpet was getting old anyway. He'd have to ask Maddie her opinion, assuming she couldn't get the final layers of ectoplasm out.

He could hear a faint noise downstairs, and he paused. It was faint, but soon grew louder. That haunting choked gurgling sound. Jack put his cleaning supplies down at the top step, going down and peering into the living room.

Phantom was on his side, grasping a pillow to his chest and shaking hard. Despite not needing to breathe, he was hyperventilating. The ghost arched his back, making a pained groaning. Phantom's eyes locked onto Jack's, and he looked terrified. Jack came to him, putting a hand on his forehead. Phantom was hot, sweating hard.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked dumbly, wincing as all he got in response was a garble accompanied by ectoplasm leaking onto the pillow from Phantom's mouth.

A sharp gasp, and Jack had to narrow his eyes to get past a blinding light. Near Phantom's lower stomach, a blinding light kept flashing. On and off. He watched as it struggled to appear, going as far as to make a line of sorts before it ultimately folded in on itself and disappeared.

Phantom's chest heaved up and down rapidly as green eyes stared off into the ceiling blankly. Jack found himself slowly running his hand through Phantom's hair to soothe him. Slowly, Phantom's eyes began to droop as the human-like breathing pattern slowed down considerably. After a few silent moments, Phantom fell back asleep. He continued "breathing".

Jack didn't dare move away for a moment. What was that light? He had never seen such a thing before. Not around Phantom, not around any other ghost. Was it some rare ghostly behavior? What did it mean? The ghost scientist in him was becoming giddy at all the things he was already learning today: ghosts can drink water, ghosts have some sort of skeletal structure, ghosts can sleep, ghosts have this flash of light. And they can be skinned. Jack tried to ignore the last one.

With Phantom settled, he moved back up the stairs to where he left his supplies. He sighed, simply tired at the mere idea of mindlessly scrubbing at the carpets in his son's room. And the laundry. Jack went into Danny's room, looking at the mess Phantom had made. The ghost seemingly didn't touch anything in Danny's room, to Jack's relief. If Phantom had tried to snoop, it would have been much creepier. From what he could tell, he went straight for the bed. Why he didn't just crash on the couch, Jack wasn't sure.

He picked up the pillows and began to strip them of their cases, carelessly tossing the pillows to the side of the room for now. Jack began stripping the blanket and sheets when something shiny caught his eye. He paused, searching for it within the bed and feeling something hard hidden within the covers. Curiously, he began shaking the blankets until the object fell out and rolled onto the floor. He shook the blanket a little more. Something else fell out. He continued shaking, but nothing else escaped the blankets, and a quick pat down confirmed that there was nothing else there.

Jack investigated what fell out. A Fenton Thermos and a cell phone. He reached down to pick up the thermos. Maddie and him both knew Phantom had been stealing and using Fenton tech for a while. Least now was a good chance for them to finally take back some of their property. He set it on the nightstand for now.

The cellphone had a unique case he recognized instantly. A NASA case that Danny had gotten. This was Danny's phone. Clicking the home button and seeing the background of Danny with Sam confirmed it, complete with the notifications that Jack had called earlier and left messages, alongside others for social medias and texts from friends. Jack was so confused. Why did Phantom have his son's phone?

No, no. He couldn't blame Phantom for this. Could he? This was Danny's room. Of course his stuff was all over the place. Jack wouldn't be surprised if Danny straight up forgot his phone in his room before leaving. Danny always seemed to lose his phone.

Despite this line of reasoning, Jack still felt off. Something was missing and weird, but he couldn't place it. He pocketed his son's phone for now, grabbing the dirty laundry as he studied the bed, and he froze.

The mattress was covered in stains. Fresh green ectoplasm, but he could see the faded marks of somebody having tried to clean ectoplasm from the bed before. Pale brown-red stains that had been lifted as much as possible from the bed. Jack's heart sank at this. Did Maddie know? No, she refused to make the kids' beds anymore. Jazz and Danny were responsible for making their own beds. Dear God, why was there so much dried and old blood all over the bed? And ectoplasm?

Jack couldn't help but continue staring at the mess as his mind raced. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong, and the reality that he had no clue where his son was, nor could he get a hold of him, hit him like a brick wall.

He hurriedly took the sheets to the laundry room, shoving them in the washer. With a rushed laze, he eyeballed some laundry soap and cleaning supplies before turning the washer on. A check of the dryer confirmed that it was still full of laundry that needed folding. He sighed. Jack pulled out his cell phone and dialed Angela. As he waited, he began to fold and place the laundry in a basket. After a few rings, Tucker's mom answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Angela, it's Jack," Jack greeted her.

"Oh, hello, Jack, how are you?" she spoke sweet as ever.

"Not so well," Jack confessed. "Has Danny been over? Is he there now? I found his phone in his room, and I can't find him."

"No, he hasn't been here since yesterday. Tucker's here though, hold on a moment," Angela assured him. He could hear her call for her son, and the vague chatter of a brief conversation between them. Jack patiently waited as he continued to fold. "Tucker hasn't seen him since school today, but I'll give you a call if I see him."

Disappointed, Jack thanked her and moved onto Pamela.

"Hey, Pam, it's Jack," he began, and he decided to cut to the chase before she could hang up on him. "Listen, Danny's missing. I can't find him, and he left his phone at home. Has he been there?"

A pause. "No." To his surprise, Pamela actually sounded a bit concerned. "I haven't really seen him around since maybe three days ago? I know Samantha told me that she saw Danny today in school, but not really much else."

"Thanks," Jack replied half-heartedly. "Please call me if you hear from him."

"I will, of course. I hope he turns up."

Jack hung up, absolutely lost. He stared at the pile of laundry he had folded and stacked on top of the dryer. Where next? Danny didn't really have many friends outside of Tucker and Sam. Who else could he possibly be with?

He scrolled through his phone before coming upon a number. Mr. Lancer. He immediately clicked on the contact, and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Mr. Fenton?" a voice finally answered after several rings.

"Yes," Jack confirmed quickly. "Have you seen Danny?"

"Of course, he was in school today. He had detention, and he served it. For once, without incident. I suggested he go to the school library to get his homework done, and he agreed, but he was gone when I checked by an hour later," Mr. Lancer confirmed. Jack felt a small rush of excitement. It was small, but he felt like he was finally narrowing down some possibilities. "Is something wrong?"

"He's gone, and he left his phone here," Jack explained. "I can't get ahold of him, and none of his friends have seen him. I haven't seen him myself since this morning." There was a long pause from Mr. Lancer.

"Daniel was in trouble for having his cell phone out during class," Mr. Lancer finally told him. Jack had no clue how to take this information.

"He must have come home since then," Jack mused, mostly to himself. "Well, thank you. Please call me if you see him. Tell him I'm very worried, and that there's been a minor incident at home. I need him here as soon as possible."

"Will do. I heavily recommend getting the police involved if he's not home by curfew," Mr. Lancer suggested. Jack nodded, feeling his mouth dry.

"I will, of course. Thank you. Goodbye."

Feeling out of options, Jack hung up. He silently finished folding the laundry, leaving it to sit on the top of the dryer for now. He moved to go downstairs to check on Phantom.

He was still sleeping, "breathing" and looked so much paler. He fidgeted in his sleep, still sweating, and Jack could hear a soft grind whenever Phantom would give the occasional soft exhale. He wondered if Phantom would need more medicine, but he checked the time. Maddie should be here shortly, and he didn't want to risk Phantom being too out of it to talk to them.

Jack stood staring. He told himself he was just watching for the light again. Curious to understand it, but it wasn't that. Something was wrong. The feeling kept building, and it made him still unable to eat more than a slice of the cold pizza he had brought home. Even fudge didn't sound appealing.

He wished Phantom could talk, so that he could give him some answers. Why was he here? What happened to him? Why did he steal FentonWorks technology? Why was his son's phone in the bed with him? Why did he even come here in the first place? It was a confusing mystery, and Jack knew he was missing pieces but had no idea where he'd even begin hunting for them.

Jack shifted to take a seat, telling himself he needed a break from cleaning up ectoplasm. Maddie was so close to being here. She was always better at this kind of puzzle-solving, and this was one hell of a puzzle.

#my phics #phics #danny phantom #jack fenton #broken ectoplasm #dannymay #dannymay19 #my dannymay #my dannymay19

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet. 

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs. 

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between. 

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense. 

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them. 

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’. 

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions. 

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story. 

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints. 

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him. 

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol. 

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

#pc: alberta #hapo rambles #projectcanada #iamp: alberta #iamp #iammatthewian #Anonymous #pc headcanon