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the-duke-of-deodorant · 5 years

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Still wanting a Roceit prompt? Here's one inspired by an au of mine where the Sides are brought to life by Wishers who the Sides then escape from and end up living with Thomas. Deceit and Roman have been hanging out for awhile and Deceit starts making romantic overtures, bringing red roses for their first date. However, due to a really bad past "relationship", red roses and their smell are triggering to Roman, but he hides it due to being the Romantic Side and not wanting to lose De's love. (1)

PART 1/at least 3

Ships: Roceit

Warnings: heartbreak, past relationship abuse, maybe some Roman angst (please let me know if I need to add anything)

A/N: Adrian is a made up character, if he related to anyone in the series, please let me know so I can change it.

A/N: When he’s talking about loving more than one person, he’s talking about cheating behind someone’s back not being poly (thought I would clear that up ahead of time)

A/N: I was gonna wait until I have all of this written before posting it but I’m impatient and I wanna post it now so it’s being broken into parts

Word count: 1146

POV: 1st person- Roman

I threw away the red rose necklace.

I’ve been meaning to for a while, but I didn’t want to. All it’s been doing was sitting on my desk and pulling back memories whenever I look at it. The necklace came from Adrian Parker, my first true love. Now that doesn’t make any sense, right? You can’t have more than one true love. That’s what sucks about being alive. Nothing makes sense and true love doesn’t actually exist. People love one person, get bored, and move on to the next. One of the ten people Adrian loved was me.

That was true love. For an entire three weeks, Adrian held my hand whenever he got the chance. We spent nights together, watched movies, and I made him happy. He made me happy, and I didn’t want to lose that.

As time went on, he seemed to become more and more distant. The smile on his face faded when I was with him. After a week of fighting, he finally left. I wanted to leave too, but I never did. I wanted him to be my true love forever even if it continued to hurt me. The next day, he started dating someone else and I cut him out. Or tried to, at least. He never bothered approaching me again unless I did first, so I really I didn’t have to worry about avoiding him. When I did talk to him, he would go on about his new boyfriend and all the drama that came with it. I felt bad for the new boy just like me. His first love, and it had to be Adrain. After less than a week, Adrian left him and went with the guy he was flirting with while the two of them were dating.

That’s when I lost it. Not only did he hurt me, but ten other people before me and two after that. I wanted to yell at him and tell him everything, but I didn’t. I hate to admit it, but I still care. Just enough to keep my true feelings inside, just like what my turn with him was like. Just like always, my anger stayed silent.

“Roman?” A tap came on my shoulder. I take out one of the headphones in my ear and turn to see Deceit behind me. Seeing him, I quickly take both of them out. “Are you listening to The Things We Used To Share again?”

“No.”

“You’re blasting the music. I can hear it.”

“It’s not a big deal.” The wires of the headphones start to tangle in my fingers. “I don’t love him anymore.” A silence came from the snake behind me, as if he wanted to believe me but couldn’t. I wanted to believe me too.

“Would you date him again?”

“No.” He tensed at my sudden response. “I’m sorry, I’m not doing it again. He doesn’t love me. I know he doesn’t because if he did, he wouldn’t love… everyone else.” He smiles, light drumming his fingers on my shoulder where they were rested, in the strangely flirty way he did it.

“Fool me once, shame on you-“

“And I dated him twice, I know.” I couldn’t help but smile when talking and pushing his hand away, because I knew he was making fun of me. Again. At least, smiling was the only thing I could do when talking to him. “The first time I knew I was in love. Then it took me such a long time to move on and when he came crawling back, I fell for him again. I can’t move on.”

“But you have to.” His hands touch mine, and he takes the tangle of headphones out of my hands. “I’ll make you a deal. You go an entire week without listening to any breakup songs, and you get these back. Deal?” I smile again, holding back a bit of laugher.

“Deal. I still get Disney though.” He smiles and pushes the wires into his pocket.

“Deal.”

———

I try not to think about Deceit too often. He’s an amazing friend, but I now know the rules of human romance. Get a crush, ask the person out, fight for a week, and watch them leave you in the dust as the cycle repeats on the next person. All can be avoided if you skip the first step, falling in love. Fall in love and your heart breaks. That’s it.

I still kept Adrain’s necklace, even though I decided to break it so I couldn’t wear it anymore. I couldn’t get myself to throw it away. The small rose charm spun in my fingers as my other hand worked inside my notebook. I didn’t have to think about love if I kept writing. Not the real love, anyway. I can fill the pages with stories of true love. Fiction.

Music filled the room through a speaker set on my desk, instead of through headphones like they would normally be. Disney, something I enjoyed listening to way better than the songs that made me think of heartbreak. Hercules is better than sad songs.

I thought my heart had learned its lesson

It feels so good when you start out

My head is screaming "Get a grip girl”

Unless you're dying to cry your heart out

Well, that’s ironic.

I went to skip the song, but I couldn’t this time. It was true, and the first time I could trust relate to Disney songs. I can’t feel the same way about Deceit as I did about Adrian. I can’t do it again.

No chance no way I won't say it, no no

Give up, give in, check the grin you're in love

This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love

I sang along as I normally would, listening to the music and ignoring the thoughts that came with it. I’m not going to lose another song to heartbreak. I can still enjoy Disney, right?

After a minute of music, my notebook was left untouched and I was yelling the words. I was lost in the music, leaving my chair and letting myself go. I was alone, and I needed a way to become myself again. The real me. Thank God Meg is as overdramatic as I need to be.

“-You're way off base I won't sa-ay it! Get off my case I won't sa-ay-ay I-it! At least out loud... I won't say I'm in…. looo-oooove….”

“Wow, you’re actually really good.” I freeze. Deceit was right there, leaning against the doorframe of my room watching my do… whatever I was doing. Spotify’s advertisements take up what would be giant silence in the room until Deceit speaks again. “You’re like a real Disney Princess, but like, louder. That was really big.”

“When did you get here?”

“You were lost in your song, you must not have noticed.”

———

Next | Part 3

taglist: @winterrs-child @cyraniadebergerac

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #roman sanders #fanfic #ts roman #deceit sanders sides #sympathetic deceit #ts deciet #deceit #roceit

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castaway-stan · 7 years

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I’m trying to get back into this writing thing if any of you have ever read the book audrey wait (aka one of my fave books ever) its kinda based off that :)

Dodging an ex after the breakup was always hard. It was even harder when your ex-boyfriend was in a world famous band. At first you’d avoided listening to the radio so there would be zero chance of you hearing any of his songs and you’d dodged grocery store checkout lines so you wouldn’t see his picture on the magazine covers. But as they say time heals all wounds and about six months after the relationship ended, you didn’t even flinch when you were in the grocery store and the radio announcer’s voice came over the speakers, “And here’s the brand new song from 5 Seconds of Summer!” A few months ago you would have left your cart in the middle of the aisle and walked out just to avoid hearing the song, but things were better now so you remained right where you were, in the freezer section surveying the ice cream choices. You were trying to decide whether or not to splurge on the name brand or buy the store’s knock off when you heard the chorus of the song come over the speakers and you finally started paying attention.

The song reminded you a little bit of “Amnesia”, slow and broken-hearted. But the lyrics were what really piqued your interest. The chorus contained clear references to things the two of you had done together.

Our anniversary, rose petals on the bed/I still see your face in my head

You hadn’t really expected anything big for your one-year anniversary, but Luke, who always treated you like a princess, defied them. He cooked your favorite meal, spending all day on it to make sure he didn’t screw up and bought you a beautiful necklace.

You were so blown away by all of this, you were surprised when Luke told you there was more. He told you to close your eyes, and when he obeyed, he took your hands. You could tell you didn’t move far and you were still in his apartment, but you weren’t exactly sure where. When Luke told you to open your eyes, you found his bedroom looking like something out of a movie. The bed covered in rose petals, the only light coming from candles (you still didn’t know when he’d snuck off to light them), his room perfectly neat and tidy, the first time you’d ever seen it like that. “I don’t wanna pressure you and if you changed your mind it’s okay. But if you still wanna do what we talked about I wanted to make it special.” Luke whispered, even though the two of you were the only people in the apartment.

The previously discussed thing that Luke was referring to was sex. Early in the relationship you’d learned that neither of you were virgins, but you wanted to take things slow so the two of you hadn’t slept together right away. About a month ago you’d brought up maybe doing it on your one year anniversary, but you hadn’t expected him to go all out like this. “I’m ready.” You told him. You’d also been preparing for tonight, dropping a significant amount of money on new lingerie, but you decided to let him figure that out for himself when he started undressing you.

The second the words passed your lips Luke scooped you up and carried you to the bed, setting you down gently on top of the rose petals

I remember road trips to Vegas/ your eyes brighter than all the lights

The Vegas road trip was probably the most spontaneous thing you’d ever done in your entire life. On a typical Friday night hanging out in your apartment, Luke had randomly suggested it. You’d laughed until you realized he was serious.

“Yeah, alright.” You said finally. The two of you drove through the night to get to Vegas, you driving with headlights illuminating the desert roads, and Luke sitting next you you controlling the music and resting one hand on your leg for the entire five hour drive.

The next few days consisted of losing money in the casino, all-you-can-eat buffets and late-night romps between the sheets of your lavish hotel room. On your last night before you had to go back to real life, you and Luke were lying side by side in bed, breathing heavily, trying to recover from a long night in bed together. Luke pulled you close to him, burying his face in your shoulder. “Baby, you shine brighter than all the lights.” He told you.

Three months later little things turn into big fights

About three months after the Vegas trip, things started going South. It was what everyone said, as time went on your relationship things got harder. The little quirks that first drew you to a person started to annoy you and you fought about things that you wouldn’t have even said anything about earlier in the relationship.

You and Luke had already been on shaky ground. The fighting had started over him never picking up after himself and leaving the apartment a mess and escalated to the topic of him going out and partying frequently and you not trusting him.

The news that the band was going on tour again was what finally ended things. You hesitated to say that it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, because it really was quite a big thing, it was more like how you could drop your phone dozens of times and never have the screen crack, and then one day you drop it at a slightly different angle from a different height and it shatters to the point of not even functioning. Before you’d been able to handle Luke being gone fairly well, you understood that the band made most of their money from touring and it was their major connection with their fans, so it was a necessity. Now him telling you that he was leaving triggered a major fight about you not feeling like a priority from your side and you cheating while he was away from his side.

You knew you couldn’t handle it. You broke up with him and spawned 5 Seconds of Summer’s latest hit.

The last line in the chorus was what really caught your attention. The words “You broke my heart” followed by your name. Up until that point the song had been vague enough. You knew what the lyrics were referencing, but since you’d kept your relationship private no one else would. Before the name dropping, the song could have been about almost anyone, but now everyone who heard the song would know it was about you.

When your left the store (leaving your cart in the middle of the aisle like you swore you wouldn’t do) and sat in your car on Twitter, you realized just how bad things were. Entertainment journalists really didn’t waste any time. There were already articles speculating about your identity, most of them had it right including links to your Twitter and Instagram, and spitballing what had gone wrong between you and Luke. The few pictures of you and Luke together were circulating around Twitter and your name was currently a trending topic. Your follower count had nearly doubled from what it had been last night. You switched both your Twitter and Instagram to private. You knew that would just be even more confirmation that you were the one the song was directed at, but you really weren’t up for being bombarded with hate.

Then you called Luke. You’d deleted his number just after the break up, but you still knew it by heart. He didn’t answer and you hung up without leaving a voicemail, annoyed. You’d completely stopped keeping track of the band’s whereabouts so he could be in a completely different country, in a different time zone and asleep, or he knew you would be mad and was avoiding your call.

Actually, mad was an understatement. Livid was more like it. You and Luke had always tried to keep your relationship private. Never showing any PDA so you could play the just friends card when the pictures were inevitably posted all over the Internet, only doing coupley things when you were 100% certain you were alone together, keeping your relationship off social media. Sure people speculated and there were rumors, but nothing ever concrete, so you’d been able to avoid the drama that comes with dating someone famous. You’d spent two years being so careful to hide things and protect your privacy, and with a three minute song-released without him even telling you or asking permission to use your name-Luke had undone all of it.

Feeling shaken up but still okay to drive, you headed home, where you spent the next few days hiding out and trying to get in contact with Luke. You also kept a close eye on social media. People were taking your silence as confirmation and people were now saying with certainty that the song was about you. People were still speculating what went wrong between the two of you to cause the break up, as well as the exact duration of your relationship (you were glad to have at least a few secrets). Some fans were even mad that Luke had kept such a big part of his life secret for so long. And though you’d privated your social media, you couldn’t resist searching indirects and found a lot of hate directed at you for breaking his heart.

You continued trying to contact Luke, but he kept dodging your calls. You saw on social media that 5sos were back in Los Angeles, so you were certain that he was seeing and choosing not to answer. You also kept a close eye on the charts. The song was getting rave reviews from music critics and several had predicted that it might be the first 5 Seconds of Summer song to hit #1 on the Billboard charts.

And a few weeks later, that prediction came true. Luke was still dodging your calls, but the hype for the song hadn't died down and therefore you were still getting more attention that you would have liked.

A week later, the song was continuing its reign on the top of the charts and was still receiving constant radio play. You’d had to switch the preset stations in your car to country and hard rock stations to dodge it. You'd given up on trying to contact Luke. You were still angry, but you knew the once a new song reached the top of the charts the hype would die down and you'd be back to your normal life. So, you were surprised when one night your phone lit up with a phone call from a familiar number. You’d deleted it a while ago, but it was a number you still knew by heart. As you answered, the anger you’d felt when you first heard the song came rushing back. You were fully prepared to give Luke a piece of your mind, but he spoke first.

“Hey, Y/N.” Hearing those words brought back memories to the hundreds of long distance phone calls you’d had when Luke was on the other side of the world-calling you to say goodnight even when you were so far apart he was just waking up. You could feel your resolve crumbling. You thought you’d gotten over missing him, but hearing his voice took you right back to where you’d been right after the break up-missing Luke the way you would miss your right hand if you somehow lost it and wallowing in your own self-pity.

“Hi.” You said, the entire speech you’d planned about how he had no right to name drop you in the song completely forgotten.

“So, um I don’t know if you’ve heard the new song.”

You almost laughed. Luke sounded like his old, sweet and humble self, as if he was completely unaware that he had written a chart topping song. “I was.”

“I...it sounds lame but I wanted to get your opinion.” You had another flashback, to the band working on the third album and Luke waking you up in the middle of the night to ask for your opinion on lyrics (he claimed he worked better at night because there were less distractions) or coming home with snippets of new songs for you to listen to. You’d heard at least a dozen unreleased 5 Seconds of Summer songs over the span of your relationship, a fact that you knew would make most fans insanely jealous if it ever got out.

You sighed, deciding to be honest. “At first I was mad. I still kind of am.” You admitted. “We tried so hard to keep things a secret. Why did you completely undo it?”

“I was afraid of that.” He said simply. You waited for him to answer your question, but he didn’t.

You felt your irritation growing. “We tried to keep things private. Why’d you ruin it?” You repeated

“When I wrote the song I was mad. I wrote it in the span of a few hours the day after we broke up. Then when I showed it to the other guys they thought it was so good we decided to release it as soon as possible, and I was still upset so I said yes. But in my defense I didn’t think you would get all the negative press. I thought we had kept things so quiet people wouldn’t be able to find you.” You rolled your eyes. How didn’t he know that in the year 2017 Internet sleuths could track anyone down in a matter of minutes? “And I thought that if anyone did happen to find you, they wouldn’t really care. It’s all in the past now anyway.”

“Well, you thought wrong.” You said. How had you dated someone so naive? Another frequent topic of the fights between you and Luke had been the people that he referred to as friends, but you referred to as leeches. Even you could see they were social climbers, and just hanging out with Luke for the perks that came with his fame, but he seemed oblivious.

“I know. And I’m sorry.” He said and you could picture him wearing what you secretly referred to as the kicked puppy expression when you were together-frown, head down, shoulders slumped, eyes big and sad. It always made you melt, and forgive him right away.

You weren’t quite ready to do that yet. “The line about me breaking your heart. Is that really how you feel?”

You heard Luke sigh. “Losing you hurt Y/N even though I know it was for the best. With you I felt things I had never felt before and things I don’t know if I’ll ever feel again. My heart was broken.”

You weren’t sure to say to that. Apologize? You both knew the breakup was for the best. You both sat in silence for a little bit. You knew neither of you wanted to hang up, but you didn’t know what else to say. Finally you extended an olive branch. “It’s a good song.” You told him truthfully. Though you thought it would be ten times better without the line with your name in it, it was beautifully written and composed. It deserved the top chart position.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Luke sounded a lot happier now, as he always did when talking about music. “We have another one coming out soon. An apology sort of. I think you’ll like it.”

You noticed he didn’t offer to let you hear it early. The days for that were long gone. “I’ll listen for it.” You said, making a mental note to switch the presets in your car back so you’d have a higher chance of hearing it.

“Maybe text me and let me know what you think?”

“I’ll do that.” You said. “Bye Luke.”

“Bye Y/N.”

You knew between the song and the fighting things could never go back to how they were. But maybe that was for the best. You both needed to move on, and the second the general public fell out of love with your song and it dropped off the charts, you would be able to.

#luke hemmings one shot #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings imagines #5sos imagines #5sos imagine #5sos writing

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