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hopesallwegotleft · 2 years

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Shibari

Characters: Jason Kolchek, Salim Othman Pairing: Jason/Salim Words: 2450 Rating: Explicit. Translation notes: Salim calls Jason the usual; hayati (my life), habibi (my love), but also ya helo (my beautiful). Summary: This is the most plotless PWP I’ve written. It’s just smut of Salim tying Jason up, then riding him. Featuring shibari, of course. As well as dirty talk, orgasm control, and light dom/sub dynamics with Salim as the dom.

I had an idea brewing like this for a bit where Salim gave Jason a handjob instead, but then I saw the gorgeous shibari artwork by @deadlilmoon and inspiration struck and turned it into riding lol. And that should be all. Hope y’all enjoy!

A stretch of dark red rope passed before his eyes, looping around him again. Jason sat naked on the bed as Salim worked on him.

Arms secured behind his back, legs folded beneath him as he knelt, Salim wrapped him up in layers of soft, twined cotton. The rope started with double loops around his neck, coiling around itself at his nape before falling down his spine. Salim crisscrossed the two parts into a simple knot, then detoured to cross the cord around both hips, before circling to his back and continuing down.

The cotton wound around the top of his thighs, connecting that to his ankles and rounding back to his thighs. Slanted lines crossed above his ass, then Salim snuck it in an intricate weave over his abs, looping around his arms to secure them to his back.

According to the design Salim had chosen, his chest was the last part to be tied up before the rope connected to the part around his neck, completing the pattern and outlining his pecs.

It sat snug around his body so far. Not too tight, but strong and secure, shifting across his skin with every minor movement. The rope wasn't scratchy, but soft and warm. The press of the rope to his skin felt like Salim was touching him all over, holding him everywhere. Like Salim was fully in control of his body.

He was almost erect just from the combination of Salim manhandling him and getting tied up. It couldn't be anything else; Salim sat at his back, hidden from view, and hadn't given his dick any attention so far.

Salim had his chin propped up on his shoulder as he wound the harness of rope around his torso. In his peripheral vision, Jason saw Salim's face set in a look of focused determination.

The pattern started outlining his pecs, and Salim steered it back and forth until the line came close to his nipple. After a couple tugs, the line was set and held with one hand. Salim placed the palm of his other hand against Jason's pec, smoothing it up and down as he massaged the muscles there.

"How is it?" Salim asked. "It's not pinching anything?"

Jason rolled his eyes. Rope burn wasn't going to be the death of him, especially since Salim had insisted he buy the smoothest set the sex shop had. "I can handle some goddamn rope."

Salim's thumb swiped over his nipple, slowly dragging back and forth, and Jason arched his back, pressing his chest into the touch. The spike of pleasure spread throughout his body, pooling low in his stomach and straining tight around itself as Salim kept playing with his chest, nipping at his jaw. "You'll tell me if it's uncomfortable."

It had been one of Salim's stipulations before they tried this out. A fair, fixed limit, Jason thought. For both of them. But the authority behind Salim's voice dragged rough against something inside of him, and he swallowed down a moan.

"Yeah," he breathed, nodding. He felt the weight of Salim's gaze on him as he acquiesced, but no further questions came.

Salim continued work on the rope, crossing both ends underneath the same line. It undid part of the pattern, making Salim hiss something in Arabic.

Jason knew that word. It wasn't a nice word.

Once he'd fixed his mistake, Salim held up the two ends in his hands, raising one end above the other before switching their positions.

From the corner of his eye, Jason saw the tip of Salim's tongue poke out as he weighed his decision.

His thoughts kept drifting back to what Salim was doing to him, overwhelming his rational side, and making thinking as difficult as swimming against the tide. Still, his superiors hadn't described him as the best of the best for nothing, and he fought to focus through the fog, gathering his words.

He angled his head, pulling up the corner of his lips in a smirk. "C'mon, Salim. It ain't rocket science."

Salim acted like he hadn't heard at first. One of the ends proved victorious as he picked it, carefully slipping it under the straight line before he pulled it taut across his chest.

Then Jason felt a set of lips press against the shell of his ear, temple against temple.

"Behave," Salim said.

Salim's voice was low and intimate, but the word seared into his mind. His stomach swooped down in a rush, and this time, he couldn't stop his reaction.

"Fuck," the word fell from his mouth.

Salim hadn't demanded it like a command, yet his muscles stilled, his entire body relaxing into the secure hold of the rope, obeying before he could even think of the alternative. His cock stiffened further, betraying how he felt while he was at Salim's mercy.

He couldn't move, couldn't do anything to cover it. He couldn't even deflect — they'd been together for years, and Salim knew him inside and out. He would see right through it.

Salim paused at the sight, letting the long lengths of rope dangle from his hold. The very ends lay atop his thighs, curving like a snake, brushing against his balls and so, so close to the base of his cock.

"Interesting," Salim noted, making Jason's stomach clench.

Although he'd been working on it with Salim, he was used to battling his feelings, masking the ones he couldn't repress. Lying to himself if he needed to.

In this position he could hide nothing. All of him was bared and exposed, controlled by Salim. A sharp tension wired through his body, keeping him on edge while his thoughts centered on Salim. Salim's words and actions and proximity, they all flooded his brain.

"Do you like being obedient for me, Jason?" Salim asked. As if he needed to.

Jason's chest rose as he breathed in deep, trying to keep cool. He fidgeted, tugging on his arms, but the rope didn't budge. The extent of how tied up he was cemented itself in his brain all over again, instincts warning him how vulnerable he was. He refused the whimper that bubbled up inside him, and grunted instead.

"You ain't my CO."

"And yet I'm not wrong," Salim said, voice rich and rumbling right by his ear.

Behind him, Salim began to move again, pressing close against his back and arms as he finished tying him up. Jason unclenched his fingers, seeking out the familiar muscles of Salim's abs while a covered erection brushed against his ass.

"I think you like being good for me." Salim's hot breath puffed against his cheek.

Now that he was finished, Salim slid his fingers under the double lines of rope wound around his torso. Fingertips traced the soft material spanning taut over his chest, around his back, and down to his ass, teasing the sensitive spots of his body. The constant touch of the rope against those places only heightened the sense of inescapable comfort.

The rope raised just enough for the tip of Salim's finger as he went. Since the rope didn't stretch, the rest of it dug into his skin a little. Once Salim had passed, it settled against his skin once more, keeping him wrapped up tight.

His eyes unfocused, their bedroom wall blurring before him, and he let his head fall back against Salim's shoulder.

"You are, ya helo," Salim promised, propping him up, hands roaming over his body, "you are."

His breath shuddered out of him at the words, and he rolled his hips, rocking into the empty air. "Salim, sweetheart," he coaxed. His voice slurred, almost turning Salim's name into a single syllable.

Christ, if Salim asked him to, he might just beg for something for the first time in his life.

"It's okay," Salim soothed, palming down his chest and stomach. "I'll give you what you want. You're in good hands, hm?"

Jason didn't chuckle at the joke. Salim did.

Then Salim stopped just short of touching his dick and withdrew his hand.

Jason groaned, helpless to stop it while every part of his body strained to follow the touch. He sat on the bed alone, cool air whishing over the heated skin of his back. When he peeked behind him to complain, he saw Salim was removing his underwear, and he clicked his mouth shut.

The cap of their bottle of lube snapped open, and the mattress creaked at a sudden move from Salim.

Oh.

He twisted his bound body as far as he could, watching as Salim reached back and began to prep himself. It made sense; he couldn't very well prepare Salim with his hands tied behind his back. But up until now, he had always insisted on prepping Salim when he'd fuck him.

He loved drawing out the pleased sighs Salim made when he worked him open, and the soft moans when he crooked his fingers against his prostate, and the way Salim squirmed on his fingers when he scissored them deep inside of him.

His heartbeat sped up, tension twisting in the pit of his stomach, pulling on his muscles. "Darlin', y'gotta hurry up."

"Eyes front, Lieutenant."

"Fuck," he grumbled, but turned to face the wall ahead of him. With his eyes turned away, all he could do was listen. His ears picked up the wet sounds of Salim opening himself up, accompanied by his own ragged breathing.

His neglected cock twitched, and his fingers curled around nothing even as he heard the slick slide of Salim's lubed fingers working intently.

After enough time had passed, Salim moved in front of him.

Jason swept his eyes down Salim's body, naked and flushed and gorgeous. His body sought out Salim's desperately, straining against the rope tying him down. He wanted to feel those muscles pressed against his own.

With a swing of his leg, Salim sat down, straddling his lap and resting some of his weight on Jason's legs. Salim retrieved the lube, coating his other hand in it. Once he deemed it sufficient, Salim then closed the slick hand around Jason's erection, stroking up and down to spread the lube.

Jason's eyes closed in relief, his lips parting as he huffed out another curse. After nothing for so long, he finally had Salim's strong grip around his cock.

Seconds passed by until he had a liberal coating and Salim rose up, shuffling the last few inches closer. With one hand he steadied himself on Jason's shoulder. With the other, he lined the two of them up. Then he sank down, inch by inch.

Jason craned his head back, staring up at Salim's face as he took him in until his cock was buried to the hilt.

It wrung a moan out of him, his body melting into the restraints as he felt the hot pressure of Salim all around him.

"Oh, Jason, habibi," Salim whispered into the air between them, "that — you feel amazing."

As Salim said it, he rocked his hips a bit, the move making him clench around Jason. Salim's arms came to rest on his shoulders, wrists crossing behind his neck in a loose embrace. Salim lifted up, Jason's cock dragging out of him, and inched back down.

Jason stared as Salim's eyes shut halfway. A flush spread over Salim's cheeks and he gasped around the stretch of Jason's cock inside of him.

Jason's eyes watered, tearing up as he squeezed them shut. He had no control over the pace as Salim slowly fucked himself on his cock. The tight heat drew him in fully as he slid deep inside of Salim, over and over again.

"Perfect," Salim said, mouth seeking out his in a deep kiss before he pulled back, whispering against his lips. "Always so perfect for me."

Beads of sweat trickled down his spine, and Jason blinked his eyes open as Salim's thumb wiped away a tear that had spilled. A fraught tension coiled in his groin, ready to snap. "Salim, I—" he broke off when Salim took him in again, "—fuck, Salim, I'm so goddamn close." His voice turned rough as he forced the words out.

"Not yet," Salim said, shaking his head, and Jason wanted to shout. Salim kissed him again, angling their heads together as he lapped into his mouth. One of Salim's hands cupped the back of his head, combing through his short hair. "Don't come yet. Will you do that for me?"

Salim didn't ask if he could and it didn't matter. He would, for Salim.

He could barely manage a small, shaky nod, but judging by how Salim's smile widened, he'd caught it.

Every part of him felt under Salim's control as Salim rose and sank, again and again, arms bracketing his head as he looked at Jason with nothing but love and bliss. And that was all that mattered to him in that moment. His head emptied of everything except Salim, drawing him down into a hazy wave of pleasure. The rope and Salim surrounded him entirely.

"You have no idea how good you look right now, how good you make me feel," Salim spoke to him, voice heavy and scorching. "You always give me what I need, hayati."

His chest heaved as he sucked in air, gasping for more until he ended up panting, muscles shaking with the effort not to let this break him, not to come yet.

As Salim's hips rocked back down, he pressed another kiss to his mouth, before he pulled back to let out a long groan. Jason rode along the edge of his impending orgasm. He felt torn and unbalanced as he kept pulling himself away from cresting that edge while everything Salim did kept pushing him towards it.

"Filling me up just how I want. So deep, so hard," Salim moaned, "so good. Thank you, Jason."

Jason groaned, both from the praise and the way Salim's hips lifted a few inches only before sinking back down. Fuck, he had never been this close for this long before, but for Salim...

"You've been perfect, Jason. You can come now," Salim allowed.

His eyes crossed a little before rolling back into his head, and he came apart, tension snapping as he spilled inside of Salim, straining against his bonds.

He could feel the way Salim tightened around him before joining him with a rough sound.

He crumbled. But the rope was there, holding him together. And when he came down from his high, Salim ran his hands along the harness of rope again, drawing him back to himself.

"Oh, we're doin' that again," he said, his voice cracking.

Salim cocked his head at him, eyes glinting. "You think we're done already?"

#hoathememonth #ShibariMay2022 #Jason Kolchek #Salim Othman #Jalim #for adult eyes only please and ty #gonna see if I can squeeze in that ficlet idea for sacrifice too #my writing

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offtopicoverload · 3 years

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Soo 🖋+ Clover, if you want to talk about her a bit more. I am really curious and interested. 😁💙

I’d love to talk about her a bit more

She’s pretty similar to Hannah, but considerably more practical

Instead of fairy tales and fiction, she gravitates towards more academic things I’d say, and obviously she’s obsessed with languages

She can speak English, Danish, German, Swedish, Norwegian, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Latin (she insists its not a waste), and some Tamil for the most part, but the first four are definitely her specialty and she tends to translate for Danish, German, and Swedish most often

She’s trying to learn Italian, Mandarin, and Arabic primarily, but she keeps getting stuck on Mandarin I feel like? I dunno, but it seems the most different, but I have no idea

She grew up trilingual with Danish, Tamil, and German, but the Tamil was always a bit rough, she just didn’t use it that much

She likes the idea of being able to talk to anyone in the world, so she started learning other languages from a young age

In her mind words are super powerful, and being able to share words with someone is super special and cool

She also can play guitar or something, I’m pretty sure that’s a connection? I honestly don’t remember if that’s true, it might be math and music I’m thinking of lol

But she had a friend in primary school that spoke Swedish and Norwegian and learned from her, since those three are super connected

She actually moved to the UK in like Grade 7 or so, and already knew some English from media and stuff, but she had a hard time when she was still learning it more in depth, and was kinda isolated because of it

So when a French kid also moved to her school like two years later, she literally spent weeks staying up way too late learning French to talk with him and help him out

He taught her French, she helped him with English and taught him some German and they were best friends in school

They’re still super close and were roommates for a while, like they’re both introverts that aren’t great at opening up, but they’ve had so many deep 3 am chats that I don’t even think she could count them lmao

So languages have always been important to her and she ended up throwing herself into them in uni to the point that she graduated early, and then again with her career

#thank you ilyyyy #asks #clover lewis #wildfire #best aries

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lover-of-ar-rahmaan · 5 years

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Give us some history of Fatima masooma and her significance please

Salaams my dear,

Lady Fatimah Ma'soomah embodied the characteristics of Fatimah Az-Zahra

Simple. That’s who Lady Fatimah Ma'soomah is.

I’ll share a Du'aa Tawassul (by Shaykh Usama Al Attar) which will give you Ma'rifah (deeper Recognition) of this Great Lady

Fatimah Masoomah also has many different titles…

Al-Masoomah (The Infallible)

Al-Kareemah (The Generois)

At-Taahirah (The Pure/Clean)

Ar-Raadhiyah (The One Who is Pleased with Allah (The Most High))

Al-Mardhiyah (The One who Allah (The Glorious) is Pleased with)

Honestly, those are the main titles that come to mind.

However, as you purify yourself and do her Tawassul everyday even by simply saying, “Ya Fatima Ma'soomah” you will receive Divine Inspiration that will turn you into one of the Closest Waliy(at)Allah’s [Friends/Close Guardians of Allah (The Glorious)]

Her Father, Imam Musa Al Kadhim (Peace be upon him) even once said, “Ah, (rough translation here to my memory - english doesn’t do justice..) may her Father be sacrificed for Her!”

Why did Imam Musa Al Kadhim say this..?

This is ecause at the tender age of 5 (to my memory) she answered multiple questions from some of Imam Al-Kadhim’s Shi'as (followers) whilst the Imam was absent.

On their way back they met Imam, hence, Imam checked the answers and saw that they were perfect, hence, reiterated the wonderful lines of Prophet Muhammed (s) for his daughter, Lady Fatima Zahra (as)..

“Ah, may her father be sacrificed for her!”

Lastly, I will end on this note:

Please, try your utmost to do her visitation physically.

If you can’t,

Then read (not recite - unless you know classical Arabic) with your mind and especially your heart her Ziyarah (visitation)..

It’s truly Beautiful 💜

“Oh Fatimah Ma'soomah, intercede for me so that I may enter Jannah.. for indeed you have a high position with Allah (The Most High)”..

Subhan'Allah, these are the words of an Infallible (Imam Ar-Ridha) for his Dear Beloved Sister who doesn’t have The Highest Level of Infallibility according to the ‘Ulema (Scholars).

It has been said that Lady Fatima of Qum has a lower level of infallibility, hence, the title, Al-Ma'soomah (The Infallible)

So uhmmmm, yeah, that’s about it, lol.

If you wanna know anything else Islamic wise then feel free to shoot me a message 😉.

Alsooooo, I’ll post a few videos to do with Lady Ma'soomah including the Du'aa Tawassul - Please bare with me as it may take a while - I don’t have a laptop and I’m in hospital.

I may post the links here, iA.

With Love, Prayers, Compassion and Mercy,

Muhammed Mahdi Hussain

🌷 Ya Fatimatal Ma'soomah 🌷First video on Lady Fatimatal Ma’soomah - Lady of Qum [Link]

Second video on Lady Fatimatal Ma’soomah - (Short Drama) The Traveller | The status of Hz. Masuma e Qom (sa) [Link]

Third video on Lady Fatimatal Ma’soomah - Du’aa Tawassul by Sharkh Usama Al Attar with Masaib/Na’ee of Lady Ma’Soomah throughout in English [Link]

#Anonymous #Lady Fatima #Fatima Masoomah #Fatima #Fatima Masooma #Love #Tawassul #Ziyarah #<3 #Ahlulbayt #Muslim #Shia #Shi'a #Islam #Sunni #Saint #Waliyatullah

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lumbaghini · 5 years

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Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @poedaneron

Nickname: John. Always wanted to start going by Jack, but it’s hard to just start introducing yourself as a different name lol

Height: 5′11″. I’m between 5′10.5″ and that to be perfectly accurate, but what guy doesn’t wanna round up?

Last movie I saw: Aw geez. Uh... it’s been a while.... I think the last one I saw was the one I watched in theater with @saintrobot, which was.... OH YEAH! The My Hero Academia movie. I started class not too long after that, and haven’t seen any movies since, though I wanted to see Into the Spiderverse.

Favorite artists: Mick Gordon (might only do video game music but he’s a great guy), the Chainsmokers, Hans Zimmer, Two Steps from Hell (they do cinematic scores), Norah Jones (I’m sort of in love with her voice and how her music makes me think of summer)... to name a few.

Song stuck in my head: Hah... That’s Murfree Country, right now.

Do I get asks: Only very rarely.

Other blogs: I used to have a writing blog, and I’ve got an alt somewhere on here that I haven’t logged into for a while called talosakbar or something, but I never really used it to begin with.

Following: 201. When I first made this blog I pretty much just followed everyone who had one or two posts I liked about the stuff I wanted to reblog (Gintama at the time, and then RDR2 like a week later).

Amount of sleep: Depends. But usually, 4-5 hours on weekdays, and anywhere from 6-12 hours on weekends.

Lucky number: Don’t know if I have one. 3 is generally a safe bet, but that’s more related to the axiom that “everything comes in threes,” which might be more of a cultural phenomenon than anything. But my favorite numbers are anything that ends in either 5 or 0, since they’re the most “perfect” numbers to me.

What I’m wearing: A plaid button-down from Banana Republic, and jeans (well, I took the jeans off as soon as I got my room, so... black boxer briefs lol)

Dream job: I dunno anymore. Foreign policy analyst? For either the State Department or... someone else? FP is still the subject I’m most passionate about.

Favorite food: Steak.

Dream trip: Back to Germany or Switzerland. I’d also fancy Finland (especially the Lapland) or Japan. Hell, Prague also sounds great... and I’ve always had this weird dream of eating camel with a Bedouin tribe on the open desert.

Play any instruments: I used to play Clarinet and guitar, and even played piano for a while. I later just sang though, and right now, nothing.

Languages: English, Arabic and German. I used to be great at French too, but after I broke up with my French ex that fell into disuse. I can also get by in Japanese.

Favorite song: Right now? Maybe All That Could Ever Be by Rick Schaffer.

Random fact: I have three tattoos, with one more in the planning (waiting to confirm the Latin translation). One is two snakes fighting over my left shoulder, another is a Lawrence of Arabia quote just under it (”... but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes to make it possible”), and the Dark Mark from Harry Potter on the same arm’s forearm. The one in planning will be a Latin phrase wrapped around the same spot as the Dark Mark, saying “BELLUM TUUM NONDUM EST FINITA,” or “your war is not yet over,” something that resonated with me when I was thinking my hardest about suicide.

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: I don’t think I’ve ever had an aesthetic. I’ve never been comfortable enough with myself to really explore one. Do I just pick things that provoke my senses? So uh... a damp, foggy morning in a pine forest. The musk of rough leather. The distant warmth of the sun in the early Fall. The crackling of leaves underfoot in Autumn. The feeling of squeezing a cat’s toebeans.

I’m tagging: @saintrobot @esidisi @mermaidhaze @scatterbrainedhypatia @gintokixparfait @thewanderingknight @crene-brooke @belahbelieve @chaos-and-chamomile (Yeah not actually doing 21)

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haramheathen · 7 years

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Hey I saw your comment on a photo I posted. Curious: what made you leave Islam? I've met many converts but don't know any exmuslims yet. PS: to be clear, i don't care to argue about why Islam is the "best" or put you down, just straight up intrigued by your comment and wanting to learn more. Thanks friend!

Hi, thanks for being kind enough to ask instead of automatically sending hostility which is the usual jazz, I’m happy to share why I left, but it’s not really a simple answer because for me personally there are many reasons why. I get this question a lot so i may as well explain in depth. I’m sorry if this answer get’s really long and I also I hope I do not in any way offend you with my reasons why I’ve left Islam, that’s really not my intention at all. I just want to answer your question. I really don’t want to start any kind of debate or anything. Please let’s keep this civil and informative. Anyway here goes :)

Ever since I was a kid I always felt l like there was nothing after death, so the idea of heaven and hell didn’t really make sense to me. I understood that ‘good’ people go to heaven and ‘bad’ people go to hell or good Muslims who obey Allah go to heaven and people who don’t follow Islam and do haram things go to hell, but the concept of some kind of reward system never really made sense to me because I always felt like you shouldn’t have to follow the ‘right’ religion to go to heaven and that everyone should just try to be decent human beings regardless of whatever outcome in the end after we die.

My grandad is a Hafiz and was a Islamic teacher when he was younger, he taught me to read Arabic when I was around 5 and taught me surah’s and would teach me to read the Quran. Of course as a kid I never really understood what I was reading, I finished the Quran many times but I was only taught how to read arabic, not actually understand it. I’ve always been an open minded person and even as a kid I attended Christian bible studies in primary school which was an optional thing here in some schools in New Zealand. Even as a kid back then those lessons never really made sense to me so when I was around 10 I chose to stop going to them.

When I was around 12 I got another Islamic studies teacher and she gave me a Quran with Arabic and English translation which was awesome. I could finally find meaning and understand all the prayers and things I was reading in the Quran and the more I started to read the English translations the more things didn’t sit well with me, there was a lot I didn’t agree with personally and just didn’t match my personal values and beliefs. I found a lot of things very conflicting. There were things I read that I found to be quite sexist, violent, hateful towards non Muslims, homophobic ect. I was never comfortable with it and I felt like I couldn’t even talk to anyone about it because I’d immediately get hate and abuse for even questioning it.

My younger sisters, being young would sometimes ask questions questioning some things in Islam and those questions would always get shut down and they’d be diverted or guilt tripped or warmed about hell. I once sorta just asked question questioning something and I was immediately made to feel guilty about even just asking the question. I felt like I never had an option or my own say on what I was allowed to believe I was born Muslim therefore that’s what I was and that had to be my identity whetheri liked it or not sorta thing but I felt like I should be allowed to make my own mind up. I never felt like that was an option for me and even now that I identify as an ex Muslim or atheist i feel like my family will literally disown me for it and it would be literally detrimental to me and my mental health and I would pretty much end up homeless. I don’t feel that’s right. The things the Quran says about apostates and atheists and non believers really don’t sit well with me at all, they are really hateful and violent and I’m fortunate that I live in New Zealand because I know If I was open about these things in an Islamic country the consequences would be bad.

My family were pretty strict with Islam, but they never forced me to wear Hijab, they gave me the option but I had to dress very modestly growing up and I would be shamed if you could accidentally see a bra strap or something. I would listen to my muslim friends and family shame people who didn’t dress modestly or showed too much skin, but I felt like it was wrong to do that because that’s their body and their choice. It made me uncomfortable that I always had to put on a scarf or was always being told to cover up around men or when grown men would come over because I felt like grown men or men in general shouldn’t look at me that way or a young girl to begin with. I didn’t like all the emphasis put on purity and virginity, it made me uncomfortable, I felt like there was so much more to a women than her hymen and how non virgin women were spoken about like ruined women. I felt like women should be respected no matter what they wear so I found it so conflicting and it just didn’t sit well with me. Growing up with muslim friends, not all of them wanted to wear Hijab, they were forced to by their parents/families so it’s always bothered me how people say it’s a choice because it’s not. It’s pretty sad to see muslim women say it’s a choice because there are muslim and ex muslim women who are forced to wear Hijab and just imagine how they feel specially when you have muslim women really out there enforcing the fact that it’s a choice.

I would hear family and other muslims say how people who aren’t dressed modestly or showing too much skin are asking for it and it was messed up. I was later sexual assaulted by a guy I was dating. I couldn’t really tell anyone or talk to my family because I know they would blame me for it. It would be my fault for having a boyfriend so it would be my fault that it happened to me. I kept that a secret for years until I talked about it. I’m never gonna tell them something like that because I know i’ll get blamed for it even though I never asked for that to happen. I never dressed overly provocative, not that it even matters.

I experienced and witnessed quite a bit of ‘religious abuse’ like once our Islamic teacher showed me and my younger sisters who were like 6 and 10 a picture of a decomposing corpse and she told us that’s what happens when you go to hell and do haram things ect. We were always told what it would be like in hell. I once asked my religious teacher if my best friend would go to heaven even though she’s a really good person but not Muslim, and she told me my friend would go to hell because she doesn’t follow Islam and pretty much tried to give me information to convert her which made me uncomfortable. Along with the stuff I read about non believers in the Quran.. it made me more uncomfortable.

I grew up with abusive parents, my mum was really abusive, mentally, physically, verbally, mentally and I was always told to obey and respect my mum because heaven is under your mothers feet and mothers are very important in Islam ect. My mum isn’t a good person, but she was pretty religious, she would always wear Hijab and stuff but I felt like she was pretty much hiding behind Islam to convince herself and others she’s a good person when she wasn’t. When I was a kid I would pray to Allah every nightbegging and crying to him to please help me and protect me and save me from all the abuse I was getting but let’s be real, nothing ever happened lol. I was a good kid. I prayed, fasted, read the Quran, was modest. And I was really over the idea of it just being a ‘test’ of my devotion and faith to Allah when It was just years of suffering and abuse and nothing happening. It made me think about all the other bad shit happening in the world and other people suffering. I can’t accept that it’s in god’s will or it’s some life lesson or test or whatever, it doesn’t feel right.

My grandma always says we suffer now and it will be worth it after you die when you go to heaven but I just found that incredibly sad and made no sense to me. I learnt that you gotta work hard to achieve shit in life, you gotta do things and make changes. That’s how I got out of the abuse myself, I left to go live with other family because my mums abuse was too much. My grandparents have been pretty unwell for a long time and in and out of hospital and a lot of it could have been avoided which really gets to me because instead of addressing things when they happen they ‘leave it in Allah’s hands’ or ‘pray’ instead instead of actively doing things to help themselves. My grandad used to do dua on people a lot and make dua water (prayer water) for unwell people ect.. and I understand and respect that people genuinely believe in that and believe in prayer but sometimes you just gotta do things to help yourself you can’t always rely on Allah and watching people loved ones just suffer because they had been taught their lives to just be submissive and obey Allah and pray instead of actively taking action is pretty hard.

Something that’s always bothered me is that no ones ever really taken me seriously either, like people don’t really take ex Muslims seriously. Muslims just assume you’re lost, misguided, going through a phase or just want to piss off your family ect lol. That’s really not the case. Like yeah, i’ve had a rough childhood and all but that’s not why I’m an ex Muslim, I’ve done my research and been a practicing Muslim, prayed, fasted, read the quran, helped at the mosque ect. it’s our right and our choice and it’s one we consciously make ourselves not because were stupid or lost or under the influence of shaytaan or something lol.

That kind of comes to the treatment of ex Muslims. The way ex Muslims are treated is another thing, were basically treated like were stupid, the Muslim community pretty much as no respect or empathy for us because we aren’t Muslim anymore. People literally get killed, disowned, abused for leaving Islam, being gay/lesbian/transgender/bisexual. I can’t sit here and convince myself that it’s a religion of peace knowing what’s written in the Quran and how ex Muslims and how some Muslim women and lgbt Muslims and ex Muslims are treated. I also always found it ironic how converts are welcomed with open arms into Islam but if someone leaves islam they are treated like trash.

It’s hurtful when Muslims get so mad at even the idea of ex Muslims identifying as ex Muslims. Like we can still culturally be Muslims, sometimes it’s not even a choice like, we still have to fast, pray and wear hijab in order to not be disowned and stuff. They say it’s a choice to leave Islam but is it really? If for a majority of us the only choices are being disowned, homeless, abused, dead? That’s why you have a lot of angry ex Muslims, I’m not justifying the ones that get really riled up and hateful. They are probably mourning the fact they lost their childhood being forced to follow something that was never for them and something like that takes a while to accept and grow from. I think it’s important to listen to ex Muslims because that’s how were going to learn to move forward and learn to treat each other better and actually talk about and address issues. Like let’s be real, there are issues in Islam that effect us, whether you’ve left or not, problems with the treatment of Lgbt Muslims and women such.

These are important things.I could go on to explain other reasons but I’ve already made this post way too long lol. I just really wanted to open and honest. I hope I didn’t offend you, as I said that wasn’t my intention at all and if you have anymore questions I’m happy to answer them the best I can. Of course this is my personal story sort of thing as to why I left, i’m not speaking for all ex Muslims. I do feel its important to listen to our stories though. Thanks for reading this if you made it this far. Cheers :)

#ex muslim #islam #religion #sorry for the rambling #personal

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sparklyeaglepoetry-blog · 6 years

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Stow Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1775

"Stow Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1775

Stow Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1775

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How many people committed life insurance fraud on 911?

How can teens afford car insurance??

I really want to learn how to drive but can't really afford car insurance any suggestions??

How much will teen car insurance cost?

Okay so I'm getting my license soon. How much will my insurance be approx

When does health insurance kick in when you start a job?

I've never had a job with insurance. I'm hoping that I finally receive my first full time job with a company (I'm a recent grad). I'm in desperate need of health insurance to take tests on my heart but it's so expensive! So if you start a job, usually how long does it take to be able to take advantage of having the health insurance?""

What are the cheapest car insurance companies in florida?

I live in geneva, but not too far from orlando. Could you give me a list of insurance companies to call? I had a 3 month suspicion for 18 points within 18 months. I called API express, they were who I had before and they were pretty cheap...I called them yesterday and they said since I had 20 points on my license, my down payment would be $551, and 6 payments of $416. They said they could only find one insurance company that would insure me...""

What to know about cars and car insurance?

okay so i will go out to look for a car in a couple of months and i would like to know what look for when buying a car to make sure i will make a good buy, also i would like to find which car insurance would be a good one to get, my mother told me something about paying once a year or every 6 months and i would like to know which are the insurance that offer that type of paying plan and please do tell me if your insurance is good or bad ... we had an issue with allstate when my brother got hit by someone so, allstate is out for me""

Insurance on a Subaru STI?

I am considering getting a Subaru STI but I was wondering about what insurance is going to be. I am going to call my insurance company to find out exact but first I wanted to make sure it's not going to be way higher. Here is what I have paid in the past: Age 17-18: 1998 Mustang GT $110 Age 18-20: 2004 Dodge Ram 1500 $105 Age 20: 2006 Subaru STI ?????? Based on what I paid for the other 2 vehicles what do you think its going to be? Thanks!

""If you are a 22 year old male, please reply telling me how much your full coverage car insurance is. Details!?""

If you are a 22 year old male, please reply telling me how much your full coverage car insurance is. Details!?""

Why is the insurance prices so high?

OK from what I have seen from my friends they have been getting car insurance for there cars for about 1000 a year, now when I check on gocompare.com the cheapest quote is around 7000, what is wrong I've only been searching a vauxhall corsa 1.2l. I don't see why it would be that much.""

How much does a No Insurance ticket from the police cost in Illinois?

I got a no insurance ticket about 2-2 1/2 years ago along with a no registration ticket. The car wasn't mine and I didn't know that the car had no insurance/registration. I live in Illinois by Chicago, so it may be different. I just found out that they suspended my license about 3-4 months ago, because I never went to court for the tickets.""

What are the risks with Co-signing on a car and putting insurance in my name for a bf?

My daughters father needs a new and wants us to get it together. I would be co-signing on the car and the insurance would be in my name. It would mainly be his car, I would only pay $100/month on the insurance. I'm very hesitant about doing this as a) our relationship is rocky b) he has a bad record...many tickets/fines to the point where he could not get approved for insurance c) I dont want to get screwed over. He's pretty upset that im saying I dont want to, and is complaining that he cant rely on me, but I feel im protecting myself and my credit. So what exactly are the risks, and how can I get him to understand why I'm saying no?""

Buying an insurance write off ( car )?

I was wondering if it was possible to buy an insurance write off for the purpose of using it off road, for things such as car trials and banger racing? i know that if a car is category C or below, it can be returned to the road after repairs, but what are the rules as to off road use?""

Should i go on my mothers car insurance ?

Ok so i have been looking around for car insurance because im about to get a car.... but the lowest rates i found were Progessive which was 7000 for 6 months and State Farm which was nearly 5000 ..... so if i go on my mothers insurance will it be lower ? by how much ? or will it be the same ?

Cheapest car insurance in houston tx?

hello i need to find auto insurance that i can afford, i was wondering do they have one thats under a 100 ? well can you list me places that have the cheapest auto insurance""

Help with teen car insurance?!?

on average how much do you pay for your car insurance as a teen and with what company? oh, and where you live?""

Buying Car - Insurance Question?

I'm buying a Z-28 Camaro, and I have encountered a problem. I was told when I register it (which I have to apparently) that I have to insure it. I plan on leaving the car just setting in my yard. Yes it runs perfectly, but I can't afford gas for it or insurance at the time. 1) Do I legally have to register it 2) How long do I have to register it 3) Does it HAVE to be insured 4) If yes to 3, what's the cheapest insurance I can get and about how much is it. I don't care what it covers. I don't know if the state makes a difference but I live in Michigan. Thanks A Million""

Car insurance for 17 year old guy?

i just got my license and im thinkin buyin 2010 Mustang. How much would insurance cost and what insuranse company is cheapest?

Whats the average car insurance costs for a 16 year old male in Florida?

Is the a law the people without auto insrance in california are at fault?

i wasuder the impression that there was a law passed that make it to be where if someone witout insurance gets in a accedent that it becomes there fault if this is trueplease let me know and if you know the law information please ad that

On average what is the rough price for bike insurance ?

its more just curiosity at the min as I've not settled on a bike I want I'm more that likely gonna get a ninja 250r, does anyone know or guess what the insurance wud be , I've ?[A class provisional] thanks for ur time guys""

Where can i get the cheapest car insurance and only 3rd party i am aged 18?

Should I get rental insurance for my apartment?

I don't have any expensive appliances. I only have used funiture and my clothes. Lately I have seen a lot of apartment fires on the news and now I am indecisive about getting rental insurance for my apartment.

CAR INSURANCE question?

Ive just been made a fiance manager at work and my car insurance has gone down in price ! Can anybody tell me what kind of jobs make your car insurance reduced in price and why ?

WHat is a good cheap auto insurance? I am an 18 year old male....yes I know I'm screwed.?

It is bad enough having insurance when your a teen male, but when you have a sports car with a V8 in it...well it gets a whole lot worse. I just bought my dream car (a pontiac trans am) and now I would like insurance so I can drive it....the car cleared out my savings(im a senior in high school so I didnt have a whole lot to begin with). I heard viking insurance is good , but IDK. I want to have decent coverage, but also not have my whole paycheck go to them either. anybody have any tips or know of any good insurance companies. ps and no i dont want to sell my car and buy some Civic lol""

Stow Massachusetts Cheap car insurance quotes zip 1775

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