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samkerrworshipper · 8 months

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Medication - Leah Williamson

fluff, little bit of angst, anxiety attacks, mentions of depression, 3500 words

balled my eyes out to black fridays by tom odell and then this was birthed.

blurb:

your a rookie on the lionesses squad, who suffers from anxiety and when you stop taking your meds after learning you are starting a game in the euros everything goes downhill for you.

i am so sorry for how vague this was lol i’m writing this and publishing at 2:30 in the morning

I’d never liked gamedays. Everything felt different, all the feelings and emotions heightened. The pressure was insurmountable, especially when you are playing for your nation. Especially when you are one of the youngest, one of the least experienced, one of the youngsters. Today, we were playing Norway, my first game as a Lioness where I was a part of the starting line-up. It was a must win game, the stakes were high for us to win these Euro’s, especially considering it was a home euro’s for us. If we wanted to progress to the finals we couldn’t lose, the pressure was on.

I’d understood that as soon as I’d been notified that I was to start the match, understood that everything changed as soon as you were actually on the pitch. Our one point win over Austria had been great, but we were all hungrier for more, hungrier for the points that we needed to get us ahead in the competition. Sarina knew that there was an expectation for us to win, we all knew that.

I’d been feeling it all week, feeling the anxiety thrumming through my veins as we practised and went about our normal routine for the week. Something was different, it was my first year as a senior Lioness and I’d never been named as a starter. That was a big deal, a really big deal. That was all I could think about. What if I fucked it up? What if I messed up and they told me that I wasn’t going to be welcome back. What if Sarina saw me on the pitch and thought that I was worthless, useless, bad. That was all I could think about as we were standing in the tunnel getting ready to walk out. I was sandwiched in between Lucy and Beth. My hands shaking in my pockets and my breath quickening subconsciously. If I wasn’t aware of it then apparently the defender behind me was, because just as we were about to walk out I felt one of her hands fall to my shoulder, pulling me back into her just enough for her to be able to press her mouth to my ear and whisper,

“You’ve got this amore, you’re going to do perfectly fine,” Lucy’s voice was so strong, but so comforting. She was like an older sister to me, and had been since my first day at training camp. She had been the first person to believe in me besides my Arsenal teammates, the first person to really advocate for my future. She was also the first person on the Lionesses team besides Leah to learn about my struggles with anxiety, adhd and depression. She’d been a light in my life, texted me to make sure I was keeping up with my medication, or just to check in.

In the wake of the Euro’s I’d stopped taking my anxiety meds. I took Lorazepam, which worked really well for me, but it also tended to make me really drowsy and fatigued. Things that are not ideal when you are training and playing almost everyday for your country. It had positive effects, I definitely found it a lot easier to train and play my hardest, but there were a lot of negatives. Like how I was feeling right now. Like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, my hands getting clammy with sweat and shaking non stop like I’d just shot up on steroids. The sound of the crowd at Brighton didn’t help either as we walked out onto the pitch. I struggled to get through the national anthem and the pre game pleasantries, my chest and body hurting from the anxiety that was building up inside of my body.

I was grateful but also not to step out on the pitch properly. It felt like I was on a different planet, my senses overly heightened and my brain short circuiting almost everything.

I could feel Leah’s gaze on me as we all lined up to start the game, she worried about me, a lot. I was also her Arsenal teammate and she’d taken me under her wing beyond football, we’d become very close in our time spent together. I ignored her sidewards glances though, tasking myself with showing our nation that I deserved to be where I was and some jitters weren’t going to affect that.

My first half was rocky, normally with the mixture of adrenaline and endorphins my anxiety subsided when I started playing but this time I must have been too far gone, too much pent up anxiety built up for it to just fade away. It reflected in how I was playing, but our forwards had been flawless, slotting in six goals which put us in a lead that was pretty much untouchable. Clambering into the rooms at halftime was a charade. Everyone besides myself seemed ecstatic and hyped about our lead, I was on the inside but I was also wrapped up in my own bubble. I took a seat on the floor of the change rooms, taking in Serena’s speech about keeping our heads and just continuing what we were doing. I allowed Lucy to pass me a drink bottle, obliging her request for me to hydrate myself. She could tell something was up, she’d been hovering around me on the pitch, covering me. When one of the Norwegian girls had taken my feet out from under me she had immediately been at my side, pulling me up and then yelling at the umpire about how it had clearly been a foul if not a yellow. Leah had to pull her away just to ensure Lucy wouldn’t get carded herself, all whilst I stood there absolutely helpless as result of the amount of effort I was having to put into not collapsing from the amount of pain in my chest.

Leah kept it pretty brief after Serena, sticking to what she’d said and putting an emphasis on a few things before we headed back out. She managed to snag a grip on my jersey though as I trailed with the girls at the back of the group.

“Are you okay?” There was a little bit of captain in it, but it was mostly gentle, her voice a little bit rugged from the amount of yelling she’d done on the field.

“I’m fine.” Her facial expression was enough to tell me she didn’t believe a word I was saying.

“I’m telling Serena to sub you off, you clearly don’t look well enough to be playing.”

“I told you I feel fine Cap, I can play out the rest of the 90, please let me play it out.”

Leah looked conflicted, conflicted with what to do and how to react to my plea. I wasn’t one who begged very often, I didn’t see the point in it.

“Fine but y/n, as soon as anything happens out there, you put yourself in danger or someone else in danger you are going off, understood?”

I didn’t have any other option but to nod at Leah.

“Yes, captain.”

My voice had held some sarcasm as I tore her hand from the bottom of my jersey and started jogging back up the tunnel to catch up with girls that I’d previously been chatting to.

The last ten minutes of the second half was when bad transitioned to really not good. My body began to catch up with my over exertion and every second on the field became a battle. It was a blessing that the ball wasn’t really travelling down my end, Less and Toony had both been substituted in and were having a field day in our forward half kicking it back and forth to run the clock down. The Norwegian girls were giving it their best but you could tell they knew it was over. As the minutes passed though and we went into extra time I could feel my body really starting to get heavier, you could blame it on the lack of hydration and the english heat that we were playing in but I knew it was my body betraying me. I’d been denying my body for too long and it was catching up with me. I didn’t even know how many minutes of extra time we had, my vision was slowly blurring, my steps becoming wobbly and the pain in my chest becoming overbearing.

I could hear my opponent, I think it was Maren, or was it Guro? Asking me if I felt alright. I didn’t really comprehend it though, I couldn’t hear anything properly, it felt like I was underwater, my ears ringing out and my vision blacking over as I fell face first into the turf. Maren managed to catch me before I fully face planted into the grass, helping my limp form down to the ground before starting to yell out for help. It was then of course that the whistles blew and the match ended. I could make out the sounds of the crowd going nuts, maybe even my teammates on the sidelines yelling in triumph. I couldn’t open my eyes though and I definitely couldn’t make out the voice of Maren on the ground beside me trying to ask me questions and attract the attention of a medic. It was all mellowed out as my body succumbed to a coma like state that I’d forced myself into.

Leah and Lucy were the first two from my own team to locate me, passed out on the ground with Maren trying to provide as much privacy for me as possible whilst also pressing her hand to my throat to make sure that there wasn’t anything seriously wrong. It was Maren, Guro had been subbed off at the 84’ minute mark. I remembered that because I’d silently been wishing at the time that Serena would do the same, but she’d made her final changes and taking me off apparently hadn't been one of them.

“Y/n, can you open your eyes for me? Or squeeze my hand?”

I could feel Leah’s own hand fall into mine and I squeezed it as best as I could, it was enough for me to tell her that I was conscious enough to make out what she was saying to me.

“Good y/n/n, the medics are about to be here, can you try and open your eyes and talk for me?”

I tried my hardest to crack my eyes open, when I did finally muster up the will to open one of them I was met with the brightness of the stadium lights. I groaned almost immediately, being forced to take in my surroundings. I was surrounded by our trainers, who were draping different towels over my body in an attempt to cool me down and cover me. My cleats had been removed from my feet and someone was soaking my socks in cold water, something that I was not pleased to be awakened by.

“Good sweetheart, stay focused on me yeah, eyes on me.”

My eyes snapped back up to Leah, who was crouched above my head, Serena and Lucy’s heads were beside her own, staring down at me.

“The medics are going to come look at you and you are going to let them, okay?”

I almost immediately shook my head at Leah but she kept her jaw clenched and her stern face up.

“I’m not asking y/n, you just passed out on the field, you need to be assessed.”

I shook my head again and Leah rolled her eyes at me.

“An-n-xiety.”

I could hardly make out my own words in the stadium full of noise and the words themselves made me realise how much I was struggling to regulate my own breaths.

Leah nodded knowingly, suddenly everything seemed to come into perspective for her.

“You stopped taking your medication, didn’t you?”

I gulped and nodded at her, trying to block out all of the distractions that were happening around me. She looked annoyed at me, I cowered a little bit with the glare that she was giving me. After the last time I went on a sabbatical from my medication I swore to Leah I would never do it again.

As the medics crouched down next to me I shut my eyes again, it all becoming too much for my head. I let the medics fuss over me, I blacked out somewhere in between them putting me on a stretcher and getting me off the pitch.

I reawakened with sweat dripping down my body, all of the oxygen depleting from my body and my chest aching like it never had before. I choked a little bit as I sat up from my spot, gasping for air to enter my lungs. It took me a few seconds to recognise where I was, sitting inside the makeshift medical room at Brighton. My head was pounding and my whole body was aching.

“Y/n, look at me, you're having an anxiety attack, deep breaths.”

“Wh-what.” The words came out in a gasp as I struggled to take in any air, looking at Leah for guidance.

“We’re at Brighton, we just played Norway, you had an anxiety episode on the pitch. You’re having an attack right now, I need you to take deep breaths, follow me, in and out.”

I watched Leah as she exaggerated some deep breaths, if it hadn't been for the circumstance I probably would have laughed at her.

As I slowly started to take in more air she tried a different tactic.

“Good y/n/n, your doing so well my good girl. Can you tell me five things you can see?”

It was deflection, something that Leah had picked up on from her therapist.

“Serena, you, the light, Lucy and a drink bottle.”

Leah nodded at me encouragingly, rubbing slowly up my back as she continued.

“Good, you’re doing so well, how about four things you can feel?”

“Your breath, the scratchy blanket, my wet socks and I don’t know.”

My words were still choken as I used up whatever oxygen I was taking in to get the words out.

“That’s okay, that’s good, you are doing so well for me angel, how about three things you can hear?”

I tried to focus fully on Leah, on her words, her rubbing my back, her breath against my neck.

“Serena tapping her shoe, the heart monitor and the music from the changeroom.”

It was faint but if you focused in enough you could just hear the sound of my teammates in the change rooms, getting up to god knows that with the absence of their captain and manager.

“Perfect, you are doing absolutely perfectly. How about two things you can smell?”

“Antiseptic and your perfume.”

“Good, last one, one thing you can taste.”

I could feel my breath and body evening itself out, it felt like I was a piece of linen that was slowly but surely being ironed out, all of the crinkles and creases leaving my body.

“I don’t know.”

“Last one y/n, I know you can do it.”

“Metal, the iron taste from blood.”

Leah nodded at me, plastering a kiss on my forehead. Her words and actions being enough to bring me back down to earth fully. I very slowly took in my surroundings properly, Serena, Lucy and Keira were all sitting at the end of my bed, watching as Leah did her thing. I was hooked up to a few different things, cords and wires poking out of my extremities. A saline drip, heart monitor and another machine that I wasn’t sure the purpose of.

“Hey my girl, you back here with us now?”

I pushed my head into Leah’s chest, trying to hide from the world that I was now a participating member of.

“No hiding, not here,”

I groaned as Leah pushed me out of her chest, annoyed by the loss of contact and the confrontation of having to be put in front of some of the people I respected most.

“You gave us a fright back there, I think you came close to killing Maren.”

I gulped nervously, hanging onto every word that left Serena’s mouth, just bobbing my head in agreement because what else was I supposed to do.

“M’ sorry, didn’t mean to, just wanted to prove that I deserved to be here.”

Serena’s face held a kind of understanding, like she’d seen girls before me who had been the same, willing to die to prove their worth to the dutchwoman who we all regarded so highly.

“You wouldn’t be here in the first place if you didn’t deserve to be. It’s one thing to push yourself but to the point where you black out on the field is another thing. If it ever happens again y/n y/l/n then I can swear to you now that you will be benched, am I understood.” I nodded meekly at Serena,

“Yes ma’am.”

She nodded at me, she’d gotten her point across.

“Leah tells me this happened as a result of you not taking your medication?”

I pushed my head back into Leah’s chest, grunting at her when she pushed me out of it. I couldn’t do much else but nod at Serena.

“I get side effects ma’am, it makes me drowsy and sleepy, I didn’t want it to affect my game.”

Serena was very quick to fire back at me,

“You take medication to ensure that you feel well, there is no shame in that. If you are having a problem with side effects then you are to bring it up with one of our doctors, not boycott your medication entirely. From now on I am going to be responsible for your medication, you will come to me everyday to take it so I can ensure that you are receiving the correct doses so something like this does not occur again, is that understood?”

I gulped and nodded at Serena. She smiled at me knowingly in return.

“You are an elite athlete y/n, it is imperative that you care for your body. Or something like this happens, something with such magnitude that it can’t be overlooked. Your health and wellbeing comes first, always.”

I nodded at Serena once again, allowing her to give me a hug before leaving the room to give us some privacy. As soon as the door closed behind her I shed a few tears, I hated confrontation, it was one of my biggest fears.

“She’s right y’know, this could have been a lot worse, what if you’d put yourself in a really dangerous position because you were in a bad headspace and ended up seriously injured, you can’t just stop taking your medication randomly y/n, it’s not safe.”

Leah’s voice was murmured against my forehead, her lips staying plastered to the oily and cold skin.

“No one else on the team relies on medication to function, I thought I would be fine, I feel so stupid always being the one having to rely on shit to get through the day.”

I could feel Leah rolling her eyes from above me.

“No one else on the team struggles with intense anxiety and depression like you do, we are all different, we all function differently. There is no shame in needing medication y/n/n, Lucy uses an asthma puffer, does that make her stupid?”

I looked over at Lucy, it was different.

“No but it’s different.”

“How?”

Leah’s answer was fired back at me and I struggled slightly to recover from her sudden reply,

“Lucy has a physical problem, mine’s just in my head.”

“What you went through today seemed pretty physical to me.”

I was stumped by that answer, looking across at Kiera and Lucy who nodded along with what Leah was saying.

“You struggle with your mental health, there is no shame in that. You rely on medication. So what? Good for you for listening to your body and acknowledging that you need that to help you make it through the day. Y/n, there is absolutely nothing wrong with using medication to help you. If I felt sick, with the flu, and I needed antibiotics or whatever, would you think that I was weak for using them?”

I shook my head at Leah almost immediately, the question was a no brainer for me,

“Exactly, because I’d be taking the medication needed to keep me well and functioning. All you are doing is the same thing y/n, keeping yourself alive and well.”

#leah williamson #lionesses #woso #leah williamson x reader #serena wiegman #lucy bronze #fluff #anxiety attacks #medication #angst #i love leah williamson #golden retriever leah vibes #supportive moms #england lionesses x reader #lionesses x reader

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viandclintbarton-supremacy · 7 months

Text

Lost Boy (EngWnt x Male Reader)

This was inspired by Lost Boy

8,869 words

Warning: Swears, Angst and fluff moments

Why am I here? This is isn't home. Well you didn't know what a home is.

You say as you wait outside the famous St George Park. You feel the rain hit the top of your head and shoulders as you hear the car that dropped you off drive away. You sighed as nerves and anxiety crept in. You wanted to be here but also wanted to be home back in Japan.

You missed the feeling, you missed your apartment, you missed your training grounds, your teammates and the Kawasaki Frontale faithful.

You were scared to be in a land that you only been to with your team once before. Truth is you were an orphan, you were left at an orphanage in Japan in Kanagawa from there you grew up and at the age of 13 you joined the Kanagawa youth squad and once you hit 16 you became part of the first team 3 years later, 42 assists and 77 goals for the club. You wanted to play for the japan national team but you kept getting the cold shoulder. You started to deflate, lose motivation and felt the same feeling you felt since you could remember. The pain your so called parents gave you.

Worthless

Dissapointment

Lost

"Lost Boy, Lost Boy, Lost Boy" A smile came to your face and you recollected that chant Kanagawa fans would chant for you. The story of you being a orphan made the fans sympathise with you and your constant big player status on the field made you a fan favourite and was gifted the name Lost Boy.

That chant was something special it made you feel like you belonged, like a son to the crowd. The first time you heard it you had to fight back tears but bowed to the crowd.

It was your Neverland

You looked down before composing yourself, you started to walk into the reception of St George Park and you spot Serena Wiegman and Gareth Southgate waiting for you.

You think about how you ended up in the situation. Playing for England?!?!

You remember playing a man of the match worthy game in the AFC Champions League against 2 time champs from Ulsan Hyundai. Scoring 4 goals and assist. As you walked off the pitch to the famous Lost Boy chants, you didn't notice Serena Wiegman who was enjoying a vacation watching you from the crowd.

She approached you outside the locker room with your manager. Seeing your talent, the fans love for you and potential. She researched your background and found out that you have English relations due to your mother. And Serena wanted to give you a chance as she believed you not playing international football a crime. You was overwhelmed. Leaving Japan, going to England, no friends, no faces you know except for Serena.

But you knew deep down that this could change your life for the better.

"F/N, I'm so glad you are here" Serena said as she approached you with a warm smile. You go for a hand shake but Serena gave you a hug. She made you feel welcome and made you feel protected. You gave her a slight hug back and she turned to Southgate making sure to keep a hand on your back to let you feel comfortable. "F/N this is Gareth Southgate, the manager of the England Senior team." You extended your hand to the man who shook your hand. "Pleasure sir" you said respectfully in English "Nice to meet you L/N, Wiegman told me all about you. I have seen some of your stuff, I hope you step up" He said in a cold tone, you wanted to frown but hid it. It felt like he wasn't happy you were here "Mr Southgate, I said it before and ill say it again. This young man is an extraordinary talent and no offence to the team but his passion for the game shines brighter then your passion when you played for England"

God damn, you eyes slightly widen as you look back and forth between the duo. The tone of her voice sounded like a mother defending her child Talk about putting pressure on you. Southgate clearly wasn't happy with the comment but didn't say anything back. "Anyway, let me show you around. Serena" He said leading the way for you before saying goodbye to Serena "Actually i will come along" The Dutch women said "But what about the girls?" you looked back at Southgate before turning back to the lady. "They will be fine, the staff are already their for the girls training, i will see them after Y/N is settled in" She as she patted your back.

You smiled at her as the three of you walk into the building. You thought about what Serena was talking about. The girls? Her team is here training. The Lionesses! You remember watching them in the Euro's 2022 and it was inspiring to watch and witness. You had hope to cross paths in some way with one of them just to seek knowledge from the European champions if you crossed paths. But the whole team was here!

As you were taking to each rooms and facilities, you made sure to shake everyone's hand. The staff should be treated like they are part of the team. This made Serena smile when she picked up on the gesture whilst Southgate thought it was you trying to look good in front of him.

"This concludes our journey. I must depart now, as we have some new arrivals later. The rest of the team will arrive later tonight. Make yourself at Home F/N. Serena" Gareth said leaving in a hurry as he left you outside your hotel door. You let a sigh and ran your hands through your hair. "Well he sure is something" You say in a light hearted tone as you felt Serena's hand on your shoulder "He is a stubborn man, he rarely changes his team up and when i suggested you he laughed it off. But because of my belief I even went to the FA" your eyebrows raised as she nodded at tour response "Yes I made a case that you are what the men's team needed and they listened and push him on it." You looked at Serena with admiration. She really did believe in you, all that worry and nervous energy turned into determination.

You were going to make sure you proved Southgate wrong, repay Serena and show the world who F/N L/N is "Thank you Serena, you wont regret this" She smiled like a mother and patted your back "Now go rest, you must be tired' You smiled and shook your head "I managed to get sleep on the journey here. If its no issue since none of my teammates are her, can I watch you train the lionesses for a bit" Her curious look turned into a wide smile "Of course" You smiled and dropped your belongings in your room "May I ask, why do you want to watch." She asked curiously as you followed her "Well, you and the Lionesses are one of the top teams in the world, I'd be stupid to not want to watch h and learn from you and the women" She smiled, she found admirable that you would want to learn from the women when a lot just bash female footballers "Why me I'm just the manager?" she would say curious on what wanted to learn from her

You grinned as you walked alongside Serena. "Why you? Really? Well for starters, you're not just 'just the coach.' You're Serena Wiegman, the brilliant mind behind one of the most successful women's national teams in the world. You've achieved incredible success and I have a lot to learn from you. Plus, watching the Lionesses in action is an opportunity I couldn't pass up. Your team's skill, tactics and teamwork are truly works of art to me." Serena chuckled at your response and your excitement, clearly appreciating your enthusiasm and respect for the women's game. "Well, I'm flattered, F/N. We'd be glad to have you watch our training. I believe that learning from each other, regardless of gender, is how we all grow and improve in this beautiful sport."

You followed Serena out to one of the 3Gs the team was training on, You were feeling better then earlier, With Southgate gone and you can be around a pitch and watching football made you happy and at peace. Though nerves did run through as you were gonna be watching top flight pros playing

As you stepped onto the pitch and the view of the Lionesses practicing their drills came into focus, you couldn't hide the awe on your face. It was a sight to behold, the precision, the skill, and the teamwork of the reigning European champions were truly impressive.

You watched as Lucy Bronze skilfully dribbled the ball, Keira Walsh executed pinpoint passes, and Bethany England alongside Alessia Russio showcased her finishing ability. It was clear why they were considered among the best in the world.

The enthusiasm and energy of the Lionesses were infectious and it felt like a privilege to witness their training session. As you followed Serena, you couldn't help but feel a sense of motivation and inspiration.

As the Lionesses gathered in hushed conversation on the pitch, you found yourself still engaged in discussion with Serena Wiegman. Talking about her thoughts and expectations of the team as they near the Women's World Cup. The moment was a unique one for you as you were not only adapting to a new country and a new team but also facing the uncertainty of how you would be received.

Serena's voice was reassuring and she had the ability to put you at ease. She spoke about her belief in your abilities and her dedication to seeing you succeed in the England Men's team. Her unwavering support was like a lifeline. Keeping your confidence up and alive as you days counted down to your international debut.

"You know, F/N," Serena said, Turning towards you with her arms crossed, her eyes filled with determination, "I have high hopes for you. Your passion for the game and your incredible talent can bring a new energy to our national team and football. I believe that your presence will not only benefit you but also inspire our Lionesses. " She smiled as she glanced at the powerful women training and pushing their limits. "We have an incredible family of football here in England and I want you to feel at home."

You couldn't help but smile. Serena's words resonated with you and they helped the anxiety and homesickness that had lingered since your arrival in England fade away for that moments. It was the reassurance and guidance you needed. "Thank you, Serena," you replied with genuine gratitude as you bowed your head to her. "I appreciate your belief in me and your efforts to bring me here. I'm determined to give my best and contribute to the England Men's team. And if there's ever an opportunity for our teams to come together and train, I'd love to be a part of it."

Serena nodded, her eyes filled with warmth. "I'm glad to hear that, F/N." She stepped towards you placing a firm grip and pat on your arm "We're not just about men's and women's football here; we're one football family. Your presence here is a testament to that, and I'm certain you'll make a positive impact."

As you continued your conversation, little did you know that the Lionesses were observing you from a distance. The collective curiosity and intrigue of the England Women's National Team would soon lead to a new chapter in your journey, one filled with camaraderie, mutual respect and the realization that you had indeed found a football family

On one side of the pitch near the goal, Mary Earps, Ella Toone and Alessia Russo exchanged curious glances and hushed whispers.

Mar, the goalkeeper, leaned in and said, "Have you two seen that guy talking to Serena? Who is he, and what's he doing here?" as she played with the football in her hands

Ella Toone shrugged her shoulders, her eyes still fixed on you. "I have no idea, but he seems to be quite interested in what Serena is saying. Could he be a new coach or something?" She said crossing her arms as curiosity settled in

Alessia Russo chimed in, "I don't know, but he doesn't look like a coach. Maybe he's a new player or something? We can ask Serena later."

"Yeah you can ask for his number HAHA OW" Ella showed shout after receiving a kick from Alessia to the backside

Meanwhile on the other side of the pitch, Lucy Bronze, Keira Walsh and Bethany England were engaged in their own discussion. Lucy, with a sharp eye for talent, recognized you from a few clips she had seen online. "I swear seen that guy before," Lucy remarked, nodding in your direction. "He's a player, I'm sure of it. I saw some clips of him and he's got some serious skills if its who I think it is."

Keira Walsh, the midfielder, leaned in with interest. "Really? He looks like he's in deep conversation with Serena. Maybe he's a new addition to the men's team? Don't think I seen him in any of the youth teams in the past" Lucy nodded in thought

Bethany England, who had been eyeing you with curiosity chimed in, "Well, if he's here to play, he must be pretty good. We should introduce ourselves later and make him feel welcome."

As the training session continued, more and more of Lionesses kept a watchful eye on you, curious to learn more about the mysterious player who had captured Serena Wiegman's attention.

Serena would excuse you as she would approach the team to go over things about upcoming matches as you headed to the stands to watch the rest of the session from there. As Serena addressed the team and laid out their plans for the upcoming match, the Lionesses listened attentively. Afterward, Leah Williamson was the first to break the ice, curiosity getting the best of her.

"If I may" Leah began, "who is that boy you were talking to earlier? Is he a new coach or part of the England media team?"

Millie Bright, seated nearby, chimed in with her own question, "Yeah, he looked quite engaged in your conversation. Is he here to help with our training or something?"

Serena smiled and decided to share a bit about you, the new member of the England Men's team. "Actually, that young man you saw is F/N L/N. He's not a coach or part of the media team. F/N is a talented footballer, and he's recently joined the England Men's national team. I believe he has a lot to offer and you might see him around from time to time. As he requested to watch todays training" The mention of your name and the explanation from Serena piqued the interest of the Lionesses. They exchanged intrigued glances, realizing that you were not just a casual observer but a actual player.

"If his apart of the men's team, why is he watching us and not with Southgate?" Lauren Hemp who handed a drink to Jess park as she spoke up. The question was a thought was on most of the girls minds.

"Good question Lauren" Serena began. "F/N is here because he's new to England and he wanted to observe the training and learn more about the style and strategies of English football. He's keen on acclimating himself to the English game as quickly as possible. Whilst he's officially a part of the men's team, he's interested in learning from our team as well."

Serena's explanation seemed to make sense to the Lionesses. With them and Lauren nodded in understanding. It was clear that you were genuinely eager to immerse yourself in English football. The curiosity about your presence now seemed to be mingled with a sense of mutual respect for your dedication to the game. It was indeed a unique situation to have a male player from the men's team showing genuine interest in observing and learning from the Lionesses. It was a testament to your dedication and willingness to go the extra mile to improve your skills and understanding of football.

As the training session continued, you couldn't help but notice the collective gaze of the Lionesses directed your way. You had been absorbed in watching their drills and skills, trying to absorb as much as you could from the reigning European champions, but you couldn't ignore the fact that you had become the center of attention. Which was starting to make you anxious and paranoid

Whilst you were checking your Instagram notifications, you looked up from your spot of the Lionesses, You took a double take and realized they were watching you with expressions ranging from curiosity to amusement. Feeling a bit self-conscious, you flashed a small, sheepish grin and gave a little wave in acknowledgment of their attention as you slowly sinked into the chair and hoodie

"Aww, so cute." Millie Bright couldn't help but tease with a playful smile. Her comment drew light laughter from some of the other players. "Lets adopt" Rachel Daly would say as she gave Bright a should bump as the duo laughed. It seemed that your friendly wave had endeared you to the Lionesses even more.

Leah Williamson leaned over to Lauren Hemp and whispered, "Well, I have to say, he's certainly not what I expected from a guy joining the men's team. Seems like a good guy." Lauren Hemp nodded in agreement. "Definitely. We should introduce ourselves later and make him feel welcome." Knowing that whenever someone joins a new team or place for the first time it can be overwhelming"

As the training session with the Lionesses concluded, Serena Wiegman decided it was a good time to have a private conversation with one of her most experienced players, Lucy Bronze. The two of them found a quiet corner of the field

"Lucy, I need to talk to you about something important," Serena began, her expression grave. Lucy, ever the professional, sensed the gravity of the situation and nodded for her coach to continue. Serena took a deep breath. "You know the new player, F/N L/N, who you all have been eyeing?" Lucy's eyes lit with recognition. "Yeah, I saw him talking to you earlier. He's a really talented player from what I have seen. What about him?" As said as she crossed her arms

Serena leaned in closer and lowered her voice. "Well, the thing is, his arrival hasn't been entirely smooth. Southgate has been... less than welcoming, let's say." She would say in a displeased tone, Lucy raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Really? But why? He's a great talent. What's Southgate's problem?"

Serena sighed, her disappointment evident. "I don't know for sure, but it seems that Southgate has a certain way of doing things, and he's resistant to change. He's been dismissive of F/N ever since my recommendation and since F/N arrival, despite his incredible talent and potential."

Lucy's expression hardened as she glanced to where you were sitting before placing her hands on her hips and turning towards Serena. She had a reputation for being outspoken and a supportive teammate. This situation didn't sit well with her. "That's not right. If he's here to help the team, Southgate should at least give him a chance. Is there anything I can do to help?" She would ask with good intent as she suspected Serena was telling her this for a reason

Lucy nodded firmly. "Don't worry Serena, We should have each other's backs that's what makes a team. I'll make sure the team knows about this and that we extend a warm welcome to F/N." Serena smiled, her trust in Lucy reaffirmed. "Thank you, Lucy. I knew I could count on you. Let's make sure that F/N feels like a part of this football family and let's show Southgate how wrong he is. We need to look out for him on and off the pitch. He knows no one in country, he needs some friends. I cant speak for the men's team but I trust you and the girls" Lucy was driven to make sure you are welcomed and had new friends.

After returning to your room and finishing a workout, you realized that your roommate had yet to arrive. It gave you some time to unwind and reflect on the day's events. Your thoughts swirled with excitement about watching the Lionesses' training session and the camaraderie that seemed to be developing between you and the women's team. As you were catching your breath, a sudden knock at the door interrupted your solitude. You quickly made your way to the door, opening it to find Lucy Bronze, Keira Walsh, and Bethany England standing there, wearing friendly smiles.

"Hey there, F/N right?" Lucy greeted you with a warm and welcoming tone. "Mind if we come in for a chat?"

Your surprise at their visit quickly turned into a grin as you stepped aside to allow them entry. "Of course, come on in. It's great to see you all again. What brings you here?" You were sweating bricks

Bethany England was the first to speak, her friendly demeaner shining through. "We thought we'd swing by and officially welcome you to England, We thought it may be a bit daunting coming to a place where you know no one"

Keira Walsh nodded in agreement. "Yeah, We also heard about your conversation with Serena. It's not often we get a male player showing interest in our training sessions and we wanted to say hello."

Lucy chimed in "Plus, we wanted to let you know that we're here for you. If you have any questions, need any advice or just want to hang out, we're your go to squad." She said in a cheeky voice in the end

Your heart swelled with gratitude and appreciation as you looked at the three Lionesses who had taken the time to visit you. "Thank you, that means a lot. I'm really excited to be here, and I'm looking forward to learning and growing learning here. I'd love to get to know you all better and train together sometime." This was the first time you were getting attention not for your popularity or status. In Japan your teammates were stick around you for popularity and when the cameras where gone they didn't go near you. so this was refreshing, so you were eager to make actual friends

Bethany England grinned. "That sounds like a plan. We'll make sure to coordinate some joint training sessions in the future. But for now, let's just hang out and get to know each other better. We were about to head to the cafeteria and eat, You wanna tag along?" You smiled and nodded excitedly "Of course"

"Great, Come on Youngblood" Lucy would say as Keira patted your back and guided you out of the room following Beth and Lucy.

As you all settled around a table in the bustling cafeteria, the Lionesses were quick to initiate a conversation about your background. "So, F/N," Lucy Bronze began, "tell us a bit about yourself. How did you end up here in England?" She said as she took a bite out of her meal

You leaned back in your chair, ready to share your story. "Well, I grew up in Japan and football has been a huge part of my life since I was a kid. I played for Kawasaki Frontale for a since I was 13 and always dreamt of representing my country. But that never happened, they kept rejecting me." You said sadly, the trio couldn't help but feel for you. Playing for England was big for them and if that got rejected constantly it would hurt. You then smiled "And it was Serena Wiegman who saw me playing one day, She was in Japan and saw me during a match and gave me the opportunity to join the England Men's team. She went out of her way for me and I couldn't be more grateful to her." You smile before you take a bite out of your meal

Keira Walsh nodded in understanding. "That's impressive. It takes a lot of determination to leave your home country and start fresh. And for Serena to go out of her way for ya says a lot about what she thinks you. We're glad you're here." You smile at Keira who smiles back. Bethany England added, "And you're going to learn a lot from the coaching staff here. Our training is intense, but it's what has made us successful."

You gave a cheeky smirk. "If the training wasn't intense and didn't push me to my limit then I wouldn't be here" Lucy gave a light laugh at your change of demeanour as Beth looked Keira and gave her a look saying 'Lucy is going to love this guy' To which Keira nodded back "That's the attitude Youngblood" You chuckle, You were glad at the trio looking after you and couldn't but like the new nickname Bronze seemed to have give you.

Bethany England leaned forward, her curiosity showing on her face. "F/N, what did your parents think about you leaving Japan and coming all the way to England? It must be hard being away from them"

The question caught you off guard and you felt a pang of anxiety. You hadn't shared your orphan background with them yet and you weren't sure how to respond. You never like to talk about it or people asking you about them in interviews. Your mind raced, trying to come up with a plausible explanation that wouldn't reveal your painful past.

But just as you were about to stammer out a response, a strong hand landed on your shoulder. You turned to see Millie Bright, a tall and confident giant of a defender, offering a warm smile. She leaned in to speak, introducing herself to you.

"Hi, I'm Millie Bright and this is Rachel Daly. We couldn't help but couldn't this welcoming party" she said with a friendly tone, effectively shifting the focus away from the question about your parents.

Rachel Daly, Millie's Best Friend, extended her hand to you with a friendly grin. "Nice to meet you, F/N." You eagerly shook her hand before shaking Daly's hand. However, Lucy Bronze, who had noticed your hesitation earlier, couldn't help but keep an observant eye on the situation. She had sensed there was more to the story, but out of respect, she chose to let the matter drop, at least for now. She decided to get up and walk around the table towards you, She grinned and playfully ruffled your hair a move that caught you off guard. "Well, F/N, it's been a pleasure getting to know you. Enjoy your time with our lovely Millie here. She's the best at making sure our 'Child' is well taken care of."

Millie Bright, "Yeah Yeah, you three better have been on your best behaviour whilst with F/N. We can't have you being a bad influence on our new 'son' here." She gestured to herself and Daly. You were thrown off by the comment but recovered with chuckle understanding the English banter. "Come on son" She would say dramatically as she throw her tattooed arm over your shoulders and guided you away from the group.

As you walked alongside Millie, you couldn't help but notice the warmth and friendliness that radiated from her. Her easygoing demeaner put you at ease and you quickly felt a sense of comfort in her presence. Millie, with a playful twinkle in her eye, began to strike up a conversation. "So, F/N, tell me a bit more about yourself. What are your hobbies or interests outside of football? I want to learn more about ya"

You welcomed the chance to talk more about yourself and opened up to Millie. "Well, besides football, I enjoy golf ,reading and playing games. It's a great way to unwind and take my mind off things. What about you? Any interesting hobbies or hidden talents?" You say interested in her thoughts

"Oh, I can definitely hold my own in a game of darts, Painting and I make a mean lasagne. You'll have to come over sometime, and me and my other half will cook up a feast for you." You smile at her, surprised at her welcomes "You could bring your partner with you too" She nudged you "Oh no I don't have a partner. That too much hassle for me" You say nervously. It was true, trying to manage a football career and relationship seemed a lot of work, Millie would give you a surprised look, she assumed you would have a partner by your looks "But I'd love that. Thanks, Millie. And it's been great getting to know you and the rest of the team. I was a bit nervous at first, but you've all made me feel so welcome."

Millie patted your back reassuringly, You tried to not be sent to the floor by her strength. "We're like a big, sometimes chaotic, but always supportive family. You'll fit right in, F/N. Plus, you've got a great sense of humour. That makes you alright in my books"

"Ah so this is where the 'son' thing came from" Millie looked at you with a proud face "Oh you see, Young one , You're now officially part of the family. And that means you have no choice but to accept me and Rachel as your 'football moms.' You're stuck with us now." You couldn't help but smile at her. You felt a emotion that was foreign to you. To hear someone call you 'son' even if it was a joke made you emotional but you kept strong

"I wouldn't have it any other way mother dearest" You say to Millie who responded with a cackle as she ruffled your hair "Good Lad" When you reached your room and it was time to say goodbye, Millie's demeaner grew more serious. She took your phone and added her WhatsApp number, ensuring that you had a direct line to her. You was bamboozled at her actions as you stood there confused as she done it

She looked you in the eye, her tone sincere. "F/N, even though we've just met, I want you to know that you can reach out to me anytime if you need anything or if something comes up. I've got your back and that goes for both on and off the pitch." Her protectiveness and genuine concern touched you deeply. You nodded "Thank you, Millie. I really appreciate it. I'm looking forward to being a part of this football family" You say with heart as Millie smirked "Good night my child" She would say in a mock voice. "Good night mother dearest" With a warm smile, you say and watched as she headed back down the hall way.

As you entered your room, You saw a figure standing there. It was your roommate and new teammate. "hello there" You say hoping they heard you. The man turned around at you and looked you up and down. " Hey" You smiled faltered, One he didn't reply with 'General Kenobi' and two he clearly had no interest in you. You walked up and stuck out your hand "My name is F/N L/N. I hope we get to know each other more and get game time together" You say in hopes you misread his emotions. "Nice to meet you, My name is Jordan Sancho" but there was a clear disconnect in his demeaner. It was as if he was putting on a façade of politeness "Well Jordan "I'm looking forward to getting to know you and working together on the team," you said, slightly repeating what you said earlier, hoping to break through the icy atmosphere. Jordan simply nodded in response and the room fell into an awkward silence. It was clear that there was something more going on with him and you couldn't help but wonder what might be causing this behaviour. The awkwardness in your shared room with Jordan seemed to stay as small talk was made sporadically but without much enthusiasm. You couldn't help but feel the tension and it was evident that he had reservations about your presence.

The following morning, it was time for a team meeting with the England Men's team. As you entered the meeting room, many of your new teammates greeted you warmly, and the captain, Harry Kane, offered a friendly handshake and a welcoming smile. However, it was Phil Foden, Kyle Walker, and Jack Grealish who stood out. They not only greeted you but also invited you to sit with them. Their eagerness to welcome you was palpable and it helped to ease some of the tension that had lingered since your arrival.

Phil Foden leaned over with a grin. "Hey, F/N right? we saved you a spot right here." You smiled thankfully as you sat next to the city trio.

"How you finding it?, settling in alright?" Walker would ask making you feel at ease "Its a lot, I wont lie but I'm happy to be here and play for England" you said with determination, Receiving a pat from Walker. "That's the spirit lad". You notice Jack Grealish offered you a warm handshake. Which you shook with a firm grip "Mate, it's great to have you here. Need anything we are your boys. What you say we go get a bevvie later?"

"A what?" You would say confused "A buvvie?" You say. You may have had great English speaking skills but lacked on slang, Foden noticing your confusion laughed "He meant like a beer or any alcoholic drink" You gave a noticeable "Oooooh" Scratching the back of your head in embarrassment "Sorry I'm not fully caught up on the slang here" You felt a pat from Walker "Don't worry lad, we can teach you all you need to know. But you have great English though" He said with surprise "Well I home schooled with a one of the Guardians at the orphanage who also had a accent which is why I sound like I'm from here." The trio nodded but then Jack spoke up "Orphanage?" You stutter, you slipped up. You started to feel the stares from the trio and those overhearing the conversation.

"Ok, everyone sit down" Thankfully Southgate entered the room to start the talk to the group, Making the trio forget and focus on him. As he began his presentation, he took a moment to introduce you to the squad. However, his introduction was laced with bitterness, making it clear that he believed your presence was primarily due to Serena Wiegman's influence. "Here with us, we have F/N," Southgate began, his tone sharp and a touch resentful. "He's joined the squad for this international break, and it's no secret that he's here largely because of Serena's insistence. As a result, he'll be replacing Marcus Rashford for these matches." Is he fucking serious? You thought as you then notice how silent the room was and you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. The weight of being seen as a replacement for a another player who had been and the implication that you owed your presence to someone else that wasn't even Gareth's choice was palpable.

However, Phil Foden, sitting next to you, reached out and patted your shoulder in a gesture of support. He didn't say anything, but his reassuring touch and understanding gaze conveyed that you were not alone in this moment. You glanced and saw that Kyle and Jack were also looking at everyone who were looking at you. Southgate quickly moved on to discuss the details of the upcoming matches. Netherlands, Northern Ireland and Germany. But the tension in the room remained and you couldn't help but feel the weight of expectations and doubts hanging over you just doubled.

Later in training you made it your mission to prove to them that you weren't just here due to Serena's backing but your skill. You impressed Kane, Foden and sterling with your shooting and dribble skills. Kyle and Saka would be paired up with you for 3 v 3 which let you build a friendship, trustfulness and learn how they play.

You received the ball from Saka and was about to lob the ball over Kane as you saw Walker running behind but then you found yourself landing on you upper back as you felt something shoot through your right foot. You knew someone just two footed you but the thought of it happening in training was disgusting to you. You looked up and stood up to see it was Harry Maguire. You pushed the larger man nearly sending him on his ass. "What the fuck was that Maguire! That was reckless as fuck!" The man regained his posture and glared again "I don't care who you are, L/N. you've got to earn your place here. If you can't handle a challenge like that, you won't make it." He said before walking away. Despite Kyle and Saka checking on you and Harry clearly getting a talking down to from Kane you knew what you was gonna do

"Earn my place you say? alright" you mumble to yourself

After the intense exchange with Harry Maguire, you were determined to prove yourself and demonstrate your resilience. He had clearly underestimated your ability and resolve, and you were not about to let his challenge go unanswered.

The first attempt to get past Maguire was a spectacular nutmeg that left him dumbfounded and you calmly slotted the ball into the net. The laughter and applause from your teammates resonated across the field.

For the second attempt, you displayed your dribbling skills as you deftly maneuvered the ball around Maguire, causing him to lose his balance and fall on his ass like a baby. Once again, you found the back of the net with precision and can feel the anger radiating off Maguire.

The third attempt was the most rewarding. As Maguire attempted to shoulder barge you off the ball, you gracefully evaded his challenge, sending him tumbling into the dirt. With remarkable composure, you scored yet again and the team couldn't contain their amusement and admiration for your resilience and skill. Whilst some worried that they would need to step up their game to keep a spot on the first team.

As you were about to move to the next game, you felt a hard push you forward harshly as you heard your teammates around respond with audible woahs. You turned around with a glare and was face to face with Maguire who was fuming. "What's wrong Harry, do I have dirt on my face?" You would say making fun that he had dirt on his face from when you sent him to the ground. Before Maguire could cuss you out, Kane got in-between you two, as you two were pulled away, Kane turned to Maguire as Grealish stood on front of you in a protective manner

"Maguire!, that's enough," Kane said firmly, looking Maguire in the eye. "We're here to work together as a team, and this kind of behaviour isn't helping anyone. If this continues I will make sure you wont play the next game"

As Kane continued to address Maguire, other players began to gather around and it became clear that the incident had divided the team. Some players like Foden, Walker, Saka, Sterling, Pickford were clearly on your side, believing that you had been provoked and had demonstrated your skill in response. Others, Noticeable Manchester United players like Sancho, Shaw and non United players like Henderson were against you, showing support for Maguire.

"ENOUGH" The team was silent as they heard Southgate speak up. "BACK TO TRAINING NOW." He turned to you and walked up to you ignoring Maguire "F/N, I don't know how you train back in Japan but this place is for the most professional of footballers. Act like it. We don't need any more incidents like this." You bite your tongue back, You knew he was trying to goad you into responding but you just looked down and had to swallow your pride. He left without saying anything to Maguire. You couldn't help but feel pissed off that he turned a blind eye to Maguire's actions and choose to blame you for the entire incident but in the back of your head you knew you had to fight for Serena, You career and those who are supporting you. don't lose your head you thought. The mixed emotions of anger and hurt were mixing around in you. Anger due to the treatment from the manager and players who have it out for you and Hurt that you felt like a target to most of the team.

You would feel a hand n your shoulder and turned to see it was Kane "You ok?" He asked and you just shrugged "Been through worst" Kane would frown " I don't know what the gaffers deal is but you were not to blame there. You did what anyone would do. when I saw your name on the call up post I searched you up and you are a fantastic player and you will do great things for England. I don't see why Gareth is treating you like this but I know you will make him and the others acknowledge you once they see you on the pitch" with that he would pat you on the back and leave. You smiled happy knowing that your captain believed in you and supported you it added more fuel to the fire that was building. You couldn't wait to show them what you could do.

Later you would be doing some last minute mess around with some of the team before heading in. You were shooting against Pickford in goal when a idea came to your mind as you saw Pickford away from his line. As you kicked your toes under the ball it would glide up into the sky and float over Pickford who was left standing in awe as the ball landed in the net. Screams of approval and claps came from Jack Grealish, Phil Foden, Kyle Walker, and Declan Rice, who had all witnessed the audacious chip with delight. Kyle clapped you on the back. "That chip was a thing of beauty, mate!". Declan Rice would ruffle your hair "That was mad man, could use you at Arsenal" he would joke around.

"THATS MY BOY" You all would turn to the voice in the distance and see the women's team from afar walking along to the training facility building and saw a wild Millie bright cheering her boy. You would wave to her slightly embarrassed. You could see the faces of the other Lionesses laugh at Millie's antics with the exception of a few who were confused. You were happy that you got to show off and some of your new friends on the men's and women's team saw it. It also reminded you of what Millie said last night about if you need someone to talk too. You wanted to vent to her about the day. Sure you could with the boys and maybe Lucy, But Millie was the one straight up with you and you know you wouldn't be a burden going to her about it. And you didn't want to make Serena stressed out about it when she has to focus on a whole team.

"Looks like you pulled lad" You would hear Jack say in a cheeky tone but confusion would show on your face as you didn't understand what he was saying

Phil Foden, sitting nearby, noticed your confusion and decided to clarify. He leaned in and explained, "It means it looks like you've caught someone's attention romantically, mate."

You shook your head, a slight blush still on your cheeks and responded, "Oh, no, it's not like that. Millie and I are just friends." It was true, you had no feelings like that for Millie

Foden couldn't help but laugh at your quick dismissal of any romantic involvement. "Alright, mate, just friends it is. But Millie sure seems proud of her 'boy' over there." The group laughed as you knew this wasn't going away anytime soon.

After training you would take a shower and change, Heading down a hallway to the cafeteria until you would see Sancho, The man stopped in front of you. He didn't sugercoat his words. "Look, L/N, let's get one thing straight. We're just teammates, and I don't care for you taking Rashford's place." The words hit you like a punch to the gut. The camaraderie you had hoped to build with Sancho, seemed to have hit a major roadblock. It was a stark reminder that not everyone on the team welcomed your presence, and the feeling of isolation and negativity weighed heavily on you. The man would walk past you as you signed before running your hands through your damp hair and walk around a corner.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the approaching figure until it was too late. You accidentally collided with someone, and as they stumbled backward, you reached out instinctively to prevent them from falling. You would lock eyes with the figure. It was Alessia Russio. "Whoa, sorry about that," you quickly apologized, steadying her.

Alessia would smile sheepishly "Its alright, I wasn't looking where i was going, L/N right?" You would smile back "Yes but call me F/N. and you are Russio right?" Her smile got brighter as she would respond "Yes but you can call me Alessia" But then her face turned slight concerned noticing the slight frown on your face, "Is everything okay? You seem a bit off." You hesitated for a moment, debating whether to share your recent encounter with Jordan Sancho. But ultimately, you decided to confide in Alessia, who had shown genuine kindness.

"I had a bit of a run-in with a teammate from the men's squad," you admitted. "It's just been a rough day, and some of them aren't very welcoming." She would give you a knowing look. "Yep been there, Don't let them get to you. You're here on merit, and you have the talent to be with the national team. We all saw that lovely chip earlier" You would smile sheepishly as the words comforted you. She was right and you couldn't help but smile brightly and look into her eyes getting a clear look at them. You slowly felt like you were being hypnotised and unknowingly to you so did Alessia

*Wolf whistle* You would both snap out of it and turn to the sound

"What do we have here, then Ella?" You would turn to Mary Earp's alongside Ella Toone. Caught off guard by the duo you would then notice you were both holding each other. In a panic you would both separate and try to recompose yourself. You braced yourself, you had hoped this two United players wouldn't be like the ones from earlier Alessia quickly turned to face the two Manchester United Women's players, a friendly smile on her face. "Hey, Mary, Ella! This is F/N, This is one of the new players for the men's team. F/N, meet Mary and Ella." You smiled and stuck out your hand. "nice to meet you both"

Mary and Ella exchanged knowing glances, clearly amused by the situation. Mary was the first to shake your hand "Oh, F/N, you're fitting in quite well with the ladies, I see," Mary teased, her playful tone still very much intact. You tried to fight back the blush on your cheeks and then Ella would shake your hand "You two make a cute pair" Alessia would kick Ella as you looked down embarrassed.

Ella would play off the kick however. "AH Mary I'm falling" She would say falling to Mary who caught her "My hero" Mary would then play also "Fear not my love, i am here to protect you" She said in a mocking. Alessia was bright red "That's it" She then ran after the two down the hallway leaving you behind. You sighed in relief, The teasing made it obvious that you found her attractive and didn't want to embarrass yourself when you only just met them.

"They can be a lot sometimes. Sorry about them," You jumped at the force turning to them who would put a hand on your arm "sorry didn't mean to scare ya" In a apologetic voice. You saw it was Leah Williamson "I'm Leah." She shook your hand "F/N" You responded to her. You felt the same way when you met Kane. You felt nervous meeting the women's captain.

Leah sensed this and then shifted the conversation to the upcoming men's game against the Netherlands, showing a genuine interest in your thoughts. "So, how are you feeling about the men's game against the Netherlands?"

You appreciated her friendly demeaner and openness. "I'm feeling excited and ready. It's a great opportunity, and I'm eager to contribute to the team's performance. I'll give it my all."

Leah nodded in understanding and gave a smile. "That's the spirit. Just so you know. The squad was talking about you last night." A wave of anxiety washed over you" All good things and just know We're all behind you and we'll be cheering you on. Just remember, it's just another game of football. Enjoy it." She would pat you on the shoulder. You couldn't help but feel moved by the words she said. It really felt genuine and she wanted you to succeed. With that she began to walk away before stating "I heard you like golf, we should play sometime"

"I'm down" you would shout to her as she walked down the hall "Good lad!"

You sat there, in the stadium of light. England were beating san Marino 6 - 0 in the 67th minute. The day was filled with preparing and trying to focus. Of course there was media, Asking you how you felt and if you think you were ready for this. Also the online response was mixed. From those who thought you weren't good enough, didn't know you and of course the Rashford situation. But there was an upside, those who gave you a chance watching your clips or the interviews on the England YouTube channel drew a liking towards you an da big one was it showed you watching the Lionesses train and talking to Serena which shocked but drew interest to you, from fans loving the face you were supportive of the women's game and to people it as you trying to learn as much as you could.

Excitement coursed through your veins as you observed your teammates on the field, the crowd, each play and each goal filling you with a sense of pride. The atmosphere in the stadium was electric, with fans cheering for their team and the players demonstrating their skill and determination. Yet, alongside the excitement, there was also a twinge of restlessness. Sitting on the bench, you were eager to contribute, to step onto the field and to make a statement in the match. The desire to prove your worth and show your capabilities was a burning motivation within you. As you closely watched the game unfold, you couldn't help but mentally prepare yourself for the moment when you might be called upon to join the action. The second half played out before you and you remained focused, all the days of studying the tactics and learning from the experienced players around you lead to this

The opportunity to represent England in an international match was a dream come true and you were determined to make the most of it. Your emotions were a mix of excitement, anticipation, and readiness, as you waited for your chance to step onto the pitch and contribute to the team's success.

As the second half of the match against San Marino continued, you couldn't shake the feeling of anticipation. However, as the minutes ticked away, Southgate didn't look at you once. You were waiting for him to tell you to warm up. Anxiety built up as you wanted to burst onto the field and show everyone your worth. You knew that your fans in Japan and around the world were watching, Serena and the Lionesses were too. Why isn't he calling to you. It was the 80th minute and you could even hear the crowd close to you say

"Put the new kid on!"

"Why isn't he putting L/N"

"We want to see what he can do"

The minutes ticked down

81th minute

82th minute

83th minute

84th minute

85th minute

86th minute

87th minute

88th minute

89th minute

90th minute

*Final whistle blows*

It never came

You sat there in disbelieve as when you saw Southgate shook the opposing mangers hands you caught him smirking at you as you sat there hurting.

Part 1 End

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