#she doesnt really care about anyone else

[scrumandf1]

Missed sprint quali and asked my mam for an update and this was all I got from her...

#she's a hardcore lewis fan and that's it #she doesnt really care about anyone else #f1 #lewis hamilton #sao paulo grand prix

[copepods]

less gentle nurturing protective goddess c!kristin more amoral fickle petty divine being c!kristin who cares little for the affairs of mortals aside from her chosen favorites. more c!kristin who destroys lives with a flick of the wrist without sparing a thought, not out of malice but pure carelessness, as gods are wont to do

#when characters are immortal i think that fucks them up so so much esp when theyre also very powerful #kristin and phils relationship is very emotionally intense partially because kristin literally has No One Else to connect to. #so shes very attached to him and to his family by extension but really doesnt give a damn about anyone else #it makes her a very efficient death god to be fair. #she IS protective of her people (the dead) but only out of the expectation that theyre Her property and no one elses #so when xd starts messing with the realm of the dead she gets pissy. but not out of actual care for the people affected you know #i just idk. really like stories where the affairs of gods are on such a totally different plane to the affairs of mortals #and that gods might not be Trying to kill people but they still do #the same way most people step on ants without meaning to #also yes it's a class metaphor. lol #text #mcyt

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[alstroemerian-dragon]

chiaki is such a good and interesting character. wish she was in a better game

#personal #do you ever wish danganronpa was better gkdjfjskkfks #literally the only interesting thing that the anime ever did. To Me. was make chiaki a real person #because if you just take the game on its own its basically. she was just a computer program. you cared about a person who wasnt real. #hajime fell in love with a computer isnt that fucked up #but. with the added context of her being a Real Person who Existed. and the reason the program looks like her is that deep down #they all just Wanted Her Back. like that fuckin HURTS DUDE #her death was the last straw it was the final thing. that grief is what drove them all into despair in the end #fuck the brainwashing bullshit. losing chiaki broke them. #like so few of them had anyone in their lives that just. unconditionally cared. without any strings. #but she Did. she loved them all so much. she wanted them all to be so happy. for themselves #and then junko drove them all into their own heads. and then she took chiaki away from them. #no wonder they didnt give a shit about anyone else’s lives. if this is a world that can take something as unconditionally caring and bright #as chiaki nanami and Break Her and Tear Her Apart and Throw Her Away. it doesnt deserve kindness. fuck humanity. #its definitely something they all have to reckon with for a Long time going forward #like. junko haunts the halls of the island’s facilities. but so does chiaki. #not nearly in the same way but shes there all the same #theres definitely a time early on when they finally feel up to talking about her and the other four are discussing who she was before #the Real chiaki yknow #and hajime has to be like. No I Know She Was Different. I Knew Her Too. #and just him having to tell the others that chiaki was basically his only friend when he was in the reserve course #they really have to mourn her twice. fuck dude

[bonesrbleaching]

had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

#lolaa.txt #what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!' #'i wouldnt lie to you!' #okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time. #its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa #also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!' #yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up. #i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men #and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man #so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up. #and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face #that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense. #shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin #you dont have to worry about anyone else. #im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to #never really have #im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are #if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box #then when would you have any space for self discovery #youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats #and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that. #and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names #and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy #and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares. #and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look? #then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness. #SORRY RANT OVER. #im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric. #tw homophobia #tw transphobes

[abluescarfonwaston]

Wait. Kotetsu and Barnaby were partners for four years. That makes Karina like. 20. She's probably already had to struggle though explaining to her friends why she wasn't studying for her college entrance exams. Pao-Lin is 16. She's about to hit her growth spurt. (And perhaps be disappointed when she's still left as the shortest after Lara. Who pops up like a weed a few months later.)

How. I feel like i missed so much. Did they go to Karina's graduation? Did Pao-Lin have an awful acne outbreak that Nathan helped her deal with? Did they gussy up Lara for her first homecoming dance with Pao-Lin in a suit only to be called into work at the last minute? Look at each other and laugh cause at least they don't have to explain why they can't stay?

#tiger and bunny #i know none of this is probably a shcok to anyone else but it hit me like a bus just now #oh we missed so many events in their and kaedes lives #it really doesnt help that i feel like the younger cast doesnt visibly age much #watsonian: Kotetsu doesnt notice then aging so it isnt as visible #Anyway More Karina stressing about college and getting loads of unhelpful advice #and i dont care what it looks like nathan the makeup crew will deal with that #but it Hurts and i want to tear my face off help #and Pao-Lin not wanting to go to prom cause who cares thats not even a thing #and Kotetsu drifting off thinking about dancing with tomoe #and telling her she should go with someone and have a good time cause its something you cant get back #and nathan wishing they could have gone with who they wanted as themselves #and kieth as prom king but not getting it at all #and Origami saying its fine to skip he just hid in a plant the whole time it sucked #and Bunny asking what was so good about it that night and Kotetsu dancing with him #and stepping on his feet but oh to hold someone you love close and be scolded by them #makes him all mushy inside #pulling bunny closer or spinning him out or grinding against each other and see bunny? isnt it nice.

[red-dyed-sarumane]

i like to think apoptosis tries to lie to tenshi but tenshi cares too much & has figured her out pretty well & can see through most of it. i dont have much to support this beyond the fact theyre clearly heavily tied together across their songs.

#actually if im doing any analysis here #the timeline i think is like. #the group decides to go thru with the sacrifice to see if that would 'absolve their sins' #potentially targets apoptosis first as. she doesnt seem to get along with anyone #she doesnt want that obviously so she goes to pin it on someone else #someone else just happens to be tenshi who REALLY does not want the role #the whole lying about doing it for her & then tenshis dont leave me alone could be like. #tenshi gets the role & apoptosis just walks free not really thinking of the consequences #of course then its already getting too late to change anything & tenshi tries to convince herself shes doing the right thing #that her death will matter and maybe at least get them more time or something if not fix the problem #but no!!! it does nothing!!!! & apoptosis has to face that fact!!! that since it wasnt her it was someone she #(refuses to admit she) cares about!!!!!!! #& she cant stand that & suddenly shes in meltdown mode & will do whatever to destroy herself #i dont think its guilt shes dealing with like i genuinely think shes too selfish to feel guilty #kanons the guilty one not apoptosis #apoptosis feels more like. she lost something important & if she cant have it(her) then she doesnt want anything at all #unfortunately as per da rulez her being selfish means she continues to live. #permanent torture of knowing the one solid thing she had she got rid of and will never ever get back #the girlies #thats my current take on the situation #but in general i think those two are closer than either of them will admit

[horrorwebs]

i hate my best friend earlier i was like "im scared that this guy likes me bc he said something that i would only say to people who i like, but i recognize thats its a normal ass thing to say anyway and i rationally know he does not like me, but still, my brain decided to play with that concept and made me have a terrible nightmare the other night about it and now im subconsciously scared that he will like me ( with the underlying concept of "i am scared of men")" and shell go ohohioo what if youre projecting and its actually YOU that likes him. ????? bitch did you not hear the part about having a dream where he abused me or ...?sometimes being asexual is a nightmare nobody gets it

#and i have actually considered that btw.! and no i dont like him. if i like anyone its someone else entirely.and i dont like them either so #but she did not get it for the most part which i understand my feelings are unconventional and irrational and hard to follow. but i am #quite literally scared of the concept. of a man liking me. of this guy specifically bc we are good friends why ruin it!but just guys in gen #and i dreamt he abused me..... #literal nightmare i woke up scared and confused all bc my brain hates ne #anyway. she wants to have a gotcha moment so bad #like i said before. no its not about projecting and being scared of liking him #its about being scared that someone who i care about sees me in a way i dont and demands things from me i am not willing to give #+ someone being intimidating by having more experience compared to my 0 amount #+ feeling a bit intimiddated that my new friend group will find me immature as i am the youngest one #theres a lot of complicated feelings and a lot of confusing things bc of my asexuality but she sometimes doesnt get it #its not rly about liking him. also if i do in the future i wont really give myself a headache about it ive decided to stop worrying #about things like that it never helps. #anyway this is the friend i was hopelessly in love with and i can safely say i am over her now [tangent] #anyway. idk. sometimes i feel so stupid but this fear was idk a bit more than justa silly highschool 'what if i like them'and more #'what if the people i meet want to take advantage of me and i cant learn to say no' + 'what if i have a way of self sabotaging perfectly #good friendships by implanting irrational fears into them via dream' ? #you know. a bit more heavy #idk if anyone reads my rants id you doo cool thanks but whatever this is my diary maybe i should go nack to the psychologist idk #spikeposting

[thesewers]

people treat Jamie from yellowstone as if he wasn't Horribly neglected from birth, adopted to strangers, then emotionally manipulated, neglected, and abused some more. Shocker! The dog you raised in fear and loyalty only knows Fear and Loyalty.

#seriously fuck this show though #disgusting handleing of extremely sensitive topics #the amount of times women are senselessly abused sucks. I swear they dont even utter the word Rape until season three #oh but John happily used the word to.. describe what tourist are doing to his land. #awesome #anyways Yellowstone should ACTUALLY be about the land and be made by natives or really! anyone else. #none of you care about yellowstone and if you do I don't pft #i think it would be cool if they went supernatural horror with it. I wanna see the land fight back baby! #never get over the scene of Jamie taking Beth to a clinic on a reservation for an abortion because he was worried about their reputation #and the attendant tells him patients are FUCKING STERILIZED HERE. #like one. you really think their sterilizing the pretty little white girl walking in? #and two. WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THAT BRUSHED OVER. #NONE of the natives problems are EVER acknowledged beyond 'ah thats awful. anyways doesnt effect us right haha?' #like FUCK. my blood was boiling. #n its such a- like- THE POINT WAS MISSED SO BAD? like yeah sucks for Beth but she's not the main victim here #They had the money and resources to go Anywher else hell go out of State. The people living on that reservation Don't. #but there not even awknowledged for a Second. #infuriating. #sorry for how rough that is I dont know if i should content warning tags #hell i'll probably delete this later. still if this needs to be tagged (feel bad for this being at end of All That) lemme know 👍

[just-a-simple-dyke]

The child actors in the king of pigs are so good though wtf....cheolie's actor especially is giving EVERYTHING he has it's scary

#the rage disgust fear etc etc that i feel when watching the flashbacks.......this is a truly horrifying show #also i really like jong suks adult actor i know him from kingdom but idk his real name rip #the only thing is i dont get why kang jin ah is there..she feels very superficial compared to the male mains like she doesnt have #a connection the the school or to kyung min...the only thing is shes been a longterm colleague of jong suk but theres no #real history or relationship thats explored there and shes not emotionally connected to anyone else....it feels like a waste like #why is she there??? maybe they just dont care about women #the king of pigs #anyway this is a great show so far and i dread to see whats coming up it has to end in tragedy #i want kyung min and jong suk to meet again but thats not gonna do either of them any good sgdjfhdj

[our-lady-of-mcr]

.

#anyways im still mad today but its not lingering in my head like it was yesterday #thank fucking god for that lmfao #the more i think about it the more i realize that theres really no reason to be that upset bc yeah it sucks to lose #someone so close to me like that but......she was not afraid to give me red flags even when we were in a good place #and tbh this felt like a huge neon sign screaming get out while you can #and if the other girls we were friends with want nothing to do with me after this i honestly really do not care #i didnt see them often anyways and the one is basically still a teenager who drove me nuts 95% of the time #and the other 2 dont get into drama at all so i doubt they feel any type of way about me considering neither of them are that kind of person #im more annoyed that she did this right before we had plans for one of the girls birthdays and i have a feeling thats not happening anymore #i keep wanting to ask if were still doing anything but i would actually rather die than see b so..........no thank you #even if they do say anything ive already made other plans for tomorrow so......oh well #i feel so much less insane when everyone says i didnt do anything and its scaring me that i keep thinking back to the time era she accused #me of saying shit during and im like ???? i dont remember saying that. did i say that?? did i say you shouldnt have had your kid and i just #dont remember??? did i say we hang out to escape him and i just dont remember???? and all i can think of is false memories and a situation #where someone else said those things to me in that same time period. anyways i dont know why anyone would remember that specific of wording #if it wasnt to just be used as ammo later. but i genuinely dont remember saying any of that shit esp not that recently????? #and b is ungodly great at gaslighting and she also takes shit at face value and doesnt seek further info if shes not doing okay #so im just.....yeah im taking this as my sign #and to eliza from february.....bitch did i say any of that because i do not fucking remember it #self

[masochistikitty]

man why does literally no one give a shit about me.

#“you dont surround yourself with people” #“youve had 4 conversations with people youre not related to in the last 2 months” #“besides yk the ones with your ex who youre kinda destroyed about and his partner that youre also a little destroyed about” #SHUSH where am i supposed to meet people #also all of those were online so it doeant count. #and #its been since november 2023 since I've talked to someone im not related to in person #with my parent about half the time to 70% of the time she doesnt give a shit what i say #my mom gives a shit maybe 5% of the time #i dont talk to anyone else. #even my ex only gave a shit sometimes #and all the bad responses cancelled out every time he did care #i swear im just here for other people atp #im not a person #i have no interests no relationships of my own #other people cant comprehend that i have thoughts #but they won't listen when i tell them i have less than i used to #i dont kmow #whats wrong with me #i think i died about a year ago #really #and just everything since then has been. just me being a ghost #and even before i lost my most recent friend group #which was AUGUST #they all hated me. #they wanted me gone and they thought i was annoying #maybe about 3 of them didnt but #theyd always go quiet when i had something to say #and would be happy when i wasnt there

[hecksupremechips]

Rebecca gales has bpd she told me herself

#rebecca gales #the letter #the letter visual novel #listen im new here im not exactly a knowledgeable cookie here about bpd but the more i learn the more im like. inch resting #cuz for starters its like idk if it all applies to me but i find a lot of it very relatable #but when i think about rebecca i think it definitely applies and makes a lot of sense just like the way she feels emotions #shes got so much complex feelings about the people she loves shes very caring and loving #to the point where they feel its too much to handle alsjks like i love how cute she is with isabella when shes worried #she squishes belles face to check for injuries and she pulls isabella into her lap and pets her hair and sings for her #and always gets her food and worries herself into the ground to make sure isabella takes care of herself #and then with ashton hes definitely her favorite person she sees him like a prince charming and remembers everything about their #relationship like her way of showing love is definitely by remembering things and paying attention to how people feel and what they want #and then zach even though they arent as close she still helped him with his movie and she defends him when his movie gets hate #like in such an angry way he tries to brush it off but shes like NO NOBODY GETS TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT #and same when luke is shitty to him and tries to steal his camera rebecca lets that guy have it #and with luke even though she does hate him shes the only character who makes him see the good in himself #and she lets him know that hes fully capable of changing and being a good father and person #shes just so loving but at the same time so easily has a split where she cant stand anyone either #she thinks isabella is obnoxiously immature and is jealous as fuck of her and she is very quick to fight with ash #because he just doesnt show his love for her like she does for him and thats just such a problem like #that feeling that youll always love someone way more than anyone will ever love you and it makes her really upset #and like sometimes her feelings just get bitter so quick and at inappropriate times like when shes mad at isabella while shes fucking #in a literal coma because ashton is in love with her and not rebecca and shes just so like wrapped up in her own feelings there that she #completely disregards the entire situation and ashtons grief because she cant think about anything else she just cant help it #so yeah i think its just the way she feels emotions very strongly and switches between them very quickly that makes me think hm maybe #something is going on here 🤨 and i just love it i love her i love how shes just a character whos just like #got all these complicated feelings but shes still loved and gets to slay penis and simply exist as a complex person

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

have some random wd au doodle pages. mafuyu settling in with the dark knights and grumpy healer mage nene

#nene is very much the “cares a lot but also wishes everyone would stop being reckless and will complain about it” kind of healer #shes grumpy but goddamn if they arent her closest friends! #i really like this new brush for doodling lol #i have a decent bit of lore for everyone but kaito so far. kaito is just the leader of the dark knights but also the cool dad/uncle guy #im sure ill figure out stuff for him eventually. but for now hes just here #vbs miku would also be here ive just forgotten to include her in anythign. i guess she also doesnt have lore yet lol #w1f1 draws #i should really make a tag for this au....... #also yes the giant scar on mafuyus back is the result of the explosion from the comic i posted yesterday #magic can hurt the user just as much as anyone else! especially when uncontrolled! #nene and rui are also both very prone to magic scars #rui because he just forgets protective gear sometimes and nene because there *isnt* much protective gear for healing magic #nenes mainly concentrate around her neck and a bit on her hands while ruis are mainly covering his hands and arms

[alstroemerian-dragon]

the tough thing about writing realistic narrative conflict is that. when there aren’t larger sweeping stakes, something like 80% of narrative conflict is predicated on miscommunication or the withholding of information, big or small. and as someone who is both fairly autistic and well trained in conflict resolution, my brain is screaming “WHY DO THEY NOT SIMPLY DISCUSS THINGS OPENLY!!!!!!”

its something im practicing but BOY its hard fkdhfjdhfjs. im having to go “okay what would i say in this situation. now. would this character actually admit that? no. fuck. okay how can i hint towards it without them straight up saying it”

#personal #its an awkward balance to have especially with particular characters #its not necessarily an issue when im writing hajime #both because hes ALSO autistic. and because post shutdown (at least in my brain) hes much more blunt and straightforward #who give a shit about being polite or dancing around words when youre basically a war criminal right #now fuyuhiko is a balance to strike. because when talking to ANYONE ELSE he will say NOTHING about how he really feels unless hes pissed off #or really stressed and running his mouth on accident #now with hajime hes a lot more willing to Discuss Hard Things. however. there are still things he would Never Fucking Say. unless forced #and hajime will force it. eventually #akane is similar to hajime in that shes also very autistic and also just doesnt really care or pay attention to what other people think #but she also has a hard time tackling or discussing more intellectual topics solely because she just. doesnt get them. and also doesnt care #SHES NOT STUPID!!!!! SHE JUST DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT PHILOSOPHY OR WHATEVER AND THATS FINE #sonias an interesting one because. as a princess she has a LOT of experience talking around things #and so i think she does it just. habitually. pasting on a smile and a pleasant expression and everything is fine #but shes trying really hard to be more open because of hajime and the others. knowing these people are safe to just be her around #its hard bc she spent a year and a half being a military dictator acting on and forcing other people to act on her every sadistic whim #so now shes like ‘i have to be soooooo nice and never cause problems or i’ll die! i’ll simply die’ #now kazuichi. kazuichi would never admit any kind of shit under penalty of death #except for the fact that he can not keep his mouth shut to save his life #so whether he wants to or not he will say what he is thinking at the least opportune moment possible #okay i was gonna say more and i wrote it all out but i reached max tags without finishing #so im just not going to say any more <3 love and peace #i have the most experience writing these five but im slowly expanding #i need to get better at kyoko makoto and byakuya bc theyre vital to the first week of recovery #and i. unfortunately. do not care about the first game very much #so im kinda flying by the seat of my pants with them #i need to make byakuya MORE OF AN ASSHOLE. but in a somewhat affectionate way. bc hes had a little time to grow #but hes still. byakuya togami. so he is an Asshole. #i think ive got naegi down. kyoko’s proving the hardest

[mare-the-silly-scroingle]

apathy is so weird. like its like. yes i love this person yes i care about them but when i hear they had a bad day my instinctual response is to be like. my day was good though and ultimately who cares we’ll both live. like. i do not instinctually feel like oh damn what happened :( im just like . yeah . i dont know maybe this is more of a selfishness thing but whatever, im kind when it matters so.

#like im srry but i dont care that ur day was a 2/10. mine was so fucking good #maybe this all relates to my deeply ingrained belief that i have sacrificed more for happiness than anybody else #but idk thats a complex im still exploring. #anyway i need to sleep fr lol im just staying up in case my ex dms me more about the midterms #we've been very close today. closer recently. i really really really hope she doesnt pull back #because ive honestly felt pretty sane this week comparatively with her #and i think ineed her like oxygen not even romantically its just like i need her so who cares about anyone else #its not codependent btw i just love her a lot. anyway #shes prob not gonna get back to me bc she is busy as fuck today so #ill sleep then :}